fomo is back 

It's such a weird time to exist. We all had a gap of lost time, yet we all feel the need to compare our recovery time from that trauma to everyone else's. Constantly feeling like we should be doing more than what we're _already_ doing.

I’ve come to find that when fomo starts to strike, is the best time to find a hobby. When I moved away from college I needed a community and I found one through my hobby. I think that even if you don’t make close friends through that if it feeds your soul it’s really great. Take an art class, a book club, martial arts. I feel that is Gen Zers are afraid of trying these things and being silly, but these are the places where life and connection happen.

this literally captured the essence of socialization and relationships in the pandemic. amazing as always

i don’t know if it ever left tbhhh

I'm heading into my post-grad life as well and I absolutely relate to all of this. Most of my friends already have a job or are migrating to different countries and I'm stuck at home having such a hard time job hunting. It's hard being on social media for me seeing everyone out and having fun and knowing that I don't have the ability to do that as well. When I find myself slipping into the dark hole of self comparison (like today) I remind myself that everyone's life journey is different. I'm choosing to look at this at my period of metamorphosis. Only thing is that I wish I didn't have to use my phone for entertainment so often.

i’m in college now but i suck at making friends and getting close to ppl. it sucks seeing my former hs classmates getting dressed up and hanging with their friends, doing college stuff. it’s hard, you’re not alone. at least we know we’re not the outliers that we can feel like. thanks for ur thoughts!

I was listening to a podcast that said, “it’s important to live life by design rather than emotion. Basically, sticking to a routine is what allows us to be the healthiest version of ourselves (especially when you're fighting these demons ex. OCD for me). I’ve had to overhaul how I approach taking care of my brain (journaling) by practising mediocre consistency. Now I try to put in consistent 50-60% effort into my journaling habit, workouts and studying - to make sure I do it I began recording it and posting it on YT. On top of lockdown, I was a zombie for 2 years after seriously burning out in 2019, so depressed - feeling like those years are just gone - the critic in my head is vicious. Buts its constant process of learning and unlearning.

I think you're right about your 20s being your "work in progress" stage. I'm 28, and I feel like I'm on the last stretch of a tumultuous chapter in my life. My head was filled the idea that your 20s were for having fun and being fabulous, but for me it was just chaos time. I spent so many nights being up at 3am because I couldn't fall asleep, wondering if I was good enough or had what it takes to make it in the world. Thank God I'm creating a solid base for myself career-wise in a field I love. And thank God I always cultivated my relationships and support networks. But trust me there were times where I was convinced I was gonna be a loser for the rest of my life. I think therapy and going back to school were the best decisions of my life up til now :) And I definitely don't want to give anybody the idea that if they're older than me and still feel they're in this chapter that they are behind. I feel lucky to have reached this point in my life, and I still see a lot of my friends plugging away trying to create a life for themselves. There is no manual or pace you have to be moving in life. When it happens for you, that moment is exactly when it needs to happen. Everything is ok. You are ok. And it's ok to not be ok.

Your early twenties really is a particularly special time for forming identity (in this culture, anyway) and being a word-in-progress but honestly, I think if you're doing it right you stay a work-in-progress your whole life. I hope I never feel done

I love the introspection. I wonder what makes the people you see on social media “cool?” Is it them being around other people socializing? Or something else even. I’ve been off IG for about four months now and it’s brought me a lot of peace. It’s making me “stay in my lane” to use an old school reference lol.

i really appreciate the way you express yourself in your commentaries/video essays. your careful word choice and use of alliteration (spread over multiple sentences) show off how much of a wordsmith you truly are. I am excited to see where this “next chapter” of life takes you.

Learning how to live on your own rhythm is a very complex art that must be mastered all the time, no matter if you're an introvert or extrovert. I hope you find your way to this point but, that's that, it's never a final destination, I guess...

Tbh I feel kind of robbed of the full college “experience”I only had 1.5 years of non COVID restrictions. And my very last semester of college was an internship an hour and half away from campus. I’m hopeful there is more to look forward to. College isn’t the end all be all for socializing, I’ll just have to be more intentional in meeting people and making memories. Edit: thanks for the responses and encouragement!

my perspective as someone who is well-adept at loner life but also greatly enjoys the presence of friends, is to be responsive to the need to socialize or withdraw as they emerge. we say "listen to you your body" a lot, and i think the same logic applies to social life. for me, too much in either direction is not fun, and what i've learned over the years is to be more attuned to my moods and social needs. it's led to a much more balanced social calendar, i'm able to give dedicated time to different friends/friend groups, and i don't feel spread too thin or mentally drained.

I felt extreme fomo living in NYC. As soon as I left, it disappeared even though I still follow a lot of people I met on social media. Having time with myself at this point in my life feels more valuable than what I might be missing out on. Love this video thank you for sharing!

I'm so happy you posted this because you've vocalized what I've been writing in my journal. My friend and I discussed this with each other recently. We're both introverts and we've come to the conclusion that the pandemic made our introversion extreme. We're both wary of going out despite everyone around us returning to "normal". I'm watching everyone around me thrive post-pandemic (full time jobs, traveling, adventuring, socializing) while I'm working the same part time job and spending most of my days alone at home. I've recently had to unfollow people from high school. They're all graduating (while I have one more year), they're traveling, they're hanging out and I'm just...not doing anything. I've never felt this feeling of fomo before. I feel listless, useless, aimless, purposeless. I'm definitely not lonely. I like being by myself yet I never go out alone. This feeling always goes away when school starts again because it keeps me busy and gives me a purpose. I have one year left of university and I'm not ready to graduate. Being a student is such a huge part of my identity. I can't imagine how I'm going to feel next summer, post-grad. I keep telling myself to be easier on myself since it's my last summer as a student. I should be taking it easy, relaxing, and not worry about the future just yet. But whole everyone around me is doing the most, I can't help but feel left behind. I keep waiting for my drop-of-a-hat a-ha, or sudden life-changing moment but logically I know that isn't going to happen. If I want change in my life, I need to act on if. I could truly go on like this forever but that will do WONDERS for my mental health (negatively). If anyone has advice or needs to vent, I'd love to hear either. Thank you for this video!

damn this hit, I've just been cancelled on on a thursday night and over the past few weeks I've been realising that as wholly introverted as I may be, I still wanna go out and party sometimes and thats okay because I'm human, I feel like I've been telling myself that I can fight through any sadness and loneliness by going to the gym, reading and engaging in creative passions but having fun outside with others should be essential too

I think we both experienced the beginning of the pandemic the same way and even the returning fomo but the seclusion I experienced then had definitely helped with soothing a lot of that 😅

the pandemic completely ruined my entire university experience. i’m leaving with no friends and no social life and i don’t know what to do. my fomo is on a different level. at 21 it feels like if you don’t have a friendship group by then you never will

Ughhh, I feel this on a different level 😅 . I've felt like I've been in my "work in progress" stage for years, but only recently have I felt as though I'm slowly beginning to actually get somewhere, while also simultaneously thinking that I'm not doing enough with my "limited" time as an early 20-something year-old. I feel that *especially* in this age where we're all desperately addicted to and manically consuming social media, it's hard to manage our wild ambitions while also navigating the ever-increasing uncertainty of the job market, housing, and everything else that comes with growing into a productive adult. - Rian :)

hello amanda! i understand you so well, but my case is kinda different. as a financially unstable international student, i had to spend my first two years of college in my home country instead of the dorm with others. i still was able to get some college "friends", but it still wasn't enough for me because they're there, and i'm here in the computer screen continents away. i was so jealous of everyone, and couldn't help my fomo. i wanted to be a part of something; of the college experience that everyone's talking about. i don't usually have a problem of being by myself for a long amount of time, but i felt the loneliest these past few years. like i'm doing nothing and am nowhere thankfully, i'm finally coming to campus in a month :,,D

this is exactly how i’ve been feeling, kinda running myself ragged trying to do everything

i think this is something i subconsciously felt and never really thought of it. i really like to be alone so i dont mind and i was fine being at home... but then i went back to school and felt fomo while all my friends were going out to party while i stayed home to avoid getting sick. and while i rather be healthy than go to a party it sucks to see them having fun carelessly without me

Ah post grad life, I remember being a recent grad during the last recession we had, just me, my new degree, some debt and my goals. Its the perfect time to learn and shape your life (even if its a temporary "shaping"). With the current status of the world you can still make things happen, despite the restrictions and possible FOMO, its an excellent time to build/develop yourself and the habits you want to carry in your life. I loved that period in my life and would go back in a second. Have fun and enjoy!!

Great video, Amanda. Please make more of the content you want with additional commentary here and there. I like watching whatever is passionate to you. P.S. - Great way to start off the chapter🙂

this video literally came out at the perfect time bc post grad fomo and decreased post pandemic social skills have been KILLINGGG me

I'm in my early 20's, still isolated for the most part to my home (also l'm living in Toronto where we've had the longest lockdowns in the world). i have a parent who was suddenly diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in july 2020 & has mobility issues and needs to be taken care of. I have been WFH ever since with 2 jobs outside of doing house work, am in a state of grief ever since, recently lost a very close friend extremely suddenly, and I feel like I am stuck in a groundhog day. there are people are here worrying if their Saturday night is going to be ruined or what netflix show to watch meanwhile I'm desperate for those issues. I am stuck inside I have "friends" who have already gone on numerous trips this year and I feel like I have no hope for the future with losing everyone in my life and being in a constant state of needing to work harder and make more money to get by. I don't want to do this anymore. capitalism is evil and this feeling feels damning and inescapable. I just want sand to between my toes and a friend to laugh with? why don't I get that? why don't I deserve that? why am i losing "my best years" being chained to needing to make more money to survive and parenting my own family that raised me? 2022 has been the most painful year, the last 3 years have felt like one long year and the sick and poor are tired and frustrated and feel forgotten.

this is almost scarily relatable. never heard of "fomo" as a term before, but it is pretty much spot on what ive been experiencing over the past few months. especially being on an international exchange where everyone around you does so much cool stuff, goes partying all the time, visits one amazing place after another, creates memories to look back on once youre old... while im at my rented apartment doing absolutely nothing and feeling like ive completely wasted these 6 months of my life. i was supposed to do something cool, wild, something i wouldnt normally do back home, and here i am. great topic, its good to hear a relatable experience

OMG YOU ARE AN ANGEL YOU PERFECTLY CONSOLIDATED THE FOG MY BRAIN HAS BEEN IN FOR SO LONG

I was bored December 27th 199, spent Christmas and my bday in my parents basement quarantined. I had the exact same feelings as you during quarantine, took pleasure in no one else being able to go out. I always knew there was a reason I felt comfort watching your videos

I can't wait for this next chapter! Sounds pretty exciting 😁 So often in life we follow the paths our habits & such have laid out before us, only continuing upon them because of their established precedent. We all gotta deviate from that path and blaze the trail of self-discovery to find what truly resonates with us

You captured exactly how I feel it’s absurd. Looking forward to what you have in store for the next chapter!

Damn this made me sad, I always wanted that classic American college experience but I couldn’t afford it - Instead I was a full-time student working two jobs commuting to a local college an hour away and never got the chance to form that kind of network/community 😔

this really resonates with me, more than you could ever know. thanks for posting

one of the most liberating things i ever did was just give up.

You need to start narrating audiobooks. Your voice is so soothing

I can't relate at all. I cut out all social media a year ago so I'm no longer comparing my life to everyone else's fake fluffed up Instagram lives, so I don't feel any pressure or FOMO related to it. Also I can't relate to living in close proximity of close friends in school, and that being a defining college experience/norm, because even before COVID, dorm life was only something fresh out of HS richer kids at universities got to experience, at schools we could never hope to afford.

Congratulations on graduating my friend! I am so proud of you, and am eager to be with you for as long as you feel willing to have your viewers with you!

I find your videos so calming and insightful

I really needed this. Kind of perfectly summarizes how I feel

you put it into words! fomo is hitting real hard this year :/

As someone who never had the opportunity to go to college, it's always interesting to hear this perspective. I went straight from hs graduation to the work force so I grew up a lot more quickly in this way... I guess I got that part over with at a younger age than most. I do have FOMO about not going to college tho 😭

I never heard of fomo is that new? Well, I've been lonely pretty much my whole life. Rarely had friends when I was in school and it's been 8 years since I graduated college so I haven't had friends in 8 years and I start to talk to myself and just feel awkward or empty when going out most of the time. I was also scared when I went to a pool party by myself last Sunday and had to take a party bus.

I just love the way you tell stories

I love this new series/ direction that you’re taking.

I’m loving the narration of thissss

this was such a fun change of pace and also definitely very relatable

ty for making this vid, I've been feeling this since late last yr. I feel bad bc I feel like I should be happy that everyone is going outside again, but now I just see everyone travelling & having fun, and I start to feel bad about my life again. the quarantine as horrible & anxiety-inducing as it is, it made me feel like im just like everyone else. misery loves company i guess.

i compleeeeetley feel everything you say covid gave me an excuse to be a hermit but after it opened up and ppl started living again i cant help but feel im not doing anything wirth while. Im still in my teens but cant help but feel like im missing out on so much of the “teenage hs experience”

You just graduated college, I just graduated HS, it’s cool to have someone older give their advice. excited to see your new chapter :)

My birthday is 2 days before Christmas and yours is 2 days after🤍 but the FOMO left me towards the end of my junior/senior year. Now going back for grad (thank god it’s only 1 yr) I have no desire to get back into my colleges social circles/community because I’m ready for something new. I think my community changed drastically during the pandemic and made me realize it really wasn’t the community I needed anymore. It was tough to realize but helped my mental health so much better!

i truly love watching your vids. i'm moving away from my home soon and already feel fomo from moving and it's so incredibly hard to deal with

You just graduated college, I just graduated HS, it’s cool to have someone older give their advice and perspective on the experiences i’m about to enter into. excited to see your new chapter :) you’re the greatest ❤️

I loved your perspective on college being a luxury and that its uncommon to live in close proximity to all of your friends

loved this so much and looking forward to this series, i relate so hard 🫶🏾

I like the addition of this thread to your channel, it's an inspiring idea to return to the original blog form. "Pontificating about life" is a good framing. Look forward to hearing your thoughts about stuff, and also things.

I have been feeling like this lately. It is interesting how life changes soo quickly. Great video

You’re a good story teller

I've never related to a video so much. Even still being in college, I've been feeling it so much just being summer with everyone scattered everywhere again. I don't have a ton of friends at school, but even just being around so many people and acquaintances is really something

Your videos are amazing!!

I relate to this!! Enjoyed 🥰🥰

The first six months after I graduated college were some of the lowest in my life. Now that I'm a year out, it feels a little better but I always wonder why no one warns you about the social change that happens.

i love your videos :)) so well spoken

I’m ready for this new era w you!!

you explained this feeling so well (esp within a pandemic)

Damn, I’m literally 1 year younger than you to the day. That’s wild, I’m here for the fellow Capricorn energy

I feel this. As a high school senior who was previously homeschooled before HS, I feel like I've missed out on forming bonds and friendships and going out to experience things with people. Covid hit in the middle of my freshman year, so my senior year will be my only 'normal' one. (Even though I'm in college classes and I'm barely on my HS campus) I haven't really dated anyone, I don't have a lot of friends besides my 10yr best friend, and I just feel so behind and left out.

Ah this is me rn. I graduated a year ago and spent time in complete isolation, basically on a farm but still in a school setting. I didn't feel like a student and it was odd, and now that its the summer I realised I didn't make close connections either. I really felt this video, not so much in terms of fomo but I tested how much of a hermit I can be (ur vid yess) and honestly you need to strike a balance. I am ready to go home. Thank you for this!

This is wholesome af

i think i felt every part of this video

Fomo sucks! And its totally ok to feel lonely sometimes, i had really terrible periods of that during the pandemic since i had a couple “friendship ghostings” (i guess you really find out who is actually invested in times like these)… but honestly, i have kind of come to a point now where i do ACTUALLY care a lot less and am happy having just a handful of really good friends and sometimes having nothing yo do in a weekend. I actually love it, i’ve really learned to love doing stuff on my own too. I don’t have a lot of tips on that though, i’m just a bit more grown now (im a millennial from 92!) and kinda just done with the whole poser scene popular people thing. Especially since some really important stuff started happening that actually matters (family members getting sick), you really realize how transitory the world is and how alienated we can be from ourselves and life. I’m trying to think less about life and actually be -in- life more. The whole taoism/mindfulness thing is very healthy i think. (Ahem also a bit of a weird thing to say maybe but seeing some films and shows about more loner type women has been nice. Zoe Kravitz in high fidelity for example was so validating. Ultimate fashion inspiration too)

I related to this video so so so much. its so hard to balance post grad life/new jobs/new friendships. i hate getting fomo so being off social media for this year has helped a lot but is unrealistic for most

it’s a privilege to have opportunities to hang out with people in your twenties, imo. i struggled with school and work, had to take a break from school during the pandemic because I couldn’t risk exposing the older relatives i live with, and as a result i fell behind in community college. your socioeconomic standing can play a role in how isolated you are. my fomo is so bad i deleted my Instagram account.

I graduated at the start of pandemic so i ended up being extremely isolated and depressed. And it messed up my trajectory so much career wise tbh

You've become one of my new favourite RU-vidrs 😊

I love your content ♡

Was so confused about what fomo is so I googled it at the same time you said it at 1:30 😆. I hope the best for you.

i have literally been thinking these exact same thoughts for the past two weeks wow

Did Amanda just out herself as the prime candidate for last person born in the 1900s to be alive? Obviously not now but in 2099

Having just graduated as well - it is a weird time to 'exist'. COVID happened during the latter half of my sophomore year. Then I had an entirely remote junior year. Senior year was in person again but by the time I got acclimated to socializing and having the college experience again.. I graduated. We're all in our growth stages rn.

i finally found a word to describe this feeling ive been feeling since i graduated high school

I was just thinking this the other day. I use to have FOMO, did not have it for a few years. Now I have serious FOMO☹️

I really feel the same in many ways

I relate to this so much omg

Your voice is so soothing tho

I relate a lot to FOMO. I'm trying to write a fantasy novel and other related things but in every corner, I see people who do great things with programming and stuff and it just feels like there are greater people out there and I'm not one of them

This was so well communicated and I related so heavily to this and still do, having just graduated in spring as well.There was another layer of difficulty/loneliness/fomo for me because I went to college in an area where shutdowns/mandatory masking never really happened. Our vaccination rate was extremely low and at one point we were the national hotspot for a new variant (I believe it was delta). Because of this, a lot of my friends were going out, maskless, "returning to normal" when it was still not safe. Even though I technically could go to clubs and parties again, I kept having to say no because I knew it was dangerous. Just when I started to feel normal again and safe enough to go out, I graduated (and then immediately got covid for the first time since the pandemic started). College was extremely hard and unlike the "college experience" I expected to have. I only hope it gets better from here. Thank you for your videos

Omg we have the same birthday!!! This is the first time I've met a fellow December 27th baby! 😄

ur reading my mind

Adult socialization is hard. Gotta really plan ahead.

thesis film 💀💀💀 hardest thing i’ve ever done

We will analyse this time in a few years way differently, I am thrilled to see what happens

“Being visibly by myself and the ability to be alone with my thoughts”

birthday twin!! you do give capircon

I left nyc and felt so much better

You should start a Geneva group to discuss the topics you’re planning on discussing in future videos!! It works really well for Lexie Lombard’s podcast audience and I think it’ll definitely work well for this format too x

I have had almost the exact same experience.

Best Christmas song btw

**Going on walks without my phone.. I’m on vacation and it sounds like the perfect timing to try this. ❤️ Great 😊 video! Aloha 🤙🏽 from Hawai’i 🧘🏽‍♀️🧉✨

Not RU-vid not notifying me of this upload