Friendship and Inferiority: My Experience 

Friendship is earned, not asked for, much less demanded. The guy at the beginning really made me mad.

Hope I didn't scare you guys too much with this video!! No worries, I'm totally fine right now. Really just had to get this stuff off my chest. While not fun at all, I'm pretty sure some of you probably will also have dealt with these sort of feelings. Feel free to share your experience down below if it helps!! 😊 On a side note; a big thank you once again to everyone who remembered my birthday!! (I turned 24 January 6th)

I feel basically...exactly the same way. Like. About everything. It’s a little frightening how much I relate.

this hit me way too hard its comforting to know that other people had similar problems as me though

This video turned out really great Yuu, I feel so much of this 💕 I’ve also always felt super awkward interacting with other people’s stuff too (I don’t remember the last time I commented on this account lol) you really should be *very* proud of your channel and all the work you’ve put in 💕 (you’re so close to a play button AAAAA!!)

I can relate to this a fair bit tbh, i'm introverted and very withdrawn and being alone feels like my default state, i have a few who'd probably consider me friends but at the same time i don't really feel like i have real friends and am just kinda alone and the one thing i do is just endlessly slowly slave away at creating some spaghetti code that'll probably go nowhere

Yeah, I didn't make many friends in high school because not many of my peers liked anime in general or when they do like anime, it's usually anime I'm not a fan of. The friends I did make, I really considered my best friends. Sadly, thanks to Covid, I never got the chance to properly say goodbye to my friends and I haven't seen or talked to them since. My friends were important to me and to lose touch with them... it made me sad. I just want to see them again even if it's just for one last time.

ik this video is like a year old but i feel the exact sane way. im happy that im not the only one to feel this way... thank you for this video!

youtubers are entertainers, they are not your friends. please respect their privacy.

I was a loner from day one. I've longed for a genuine personal connection with someone my entire life. I'm just starting college (online of course), and most of the "meeting people" time in my life is gone. I do have people I consider friends, but recently I've been doubting my friendship with them. Anytime I try talking to them on Discord, my words come out awkwardly. Anytime I hang out with them in real life, I just sit on the sidelines watching them have fun. It's been apparent since I was in elementary school that I am nowhere near what other people consider "normal". I bottle up my depression to protect myself, as well as the people around me. I want people to see me, but I don't want to be seen. My mind is so incredibly convoluted that I believe most people wouldn't understand me even if I gave them my life story. Even I don't fully understand my quirks, but I've learned to accept them. The only way for me to fill the gaping hole in my social life, was to find something I didn't even need to communicate with. When I found anime I felt an instant connection. Like me, the majority of Japanese society are lonely. Themes of greater impact than most anything western media conveys, are given so much more credibility when seen from a Japanese perspective. I know it sounds weird saying that I feel more of a connection to fictional beings than real ones, but I wasn't really given a choice. Society pushes ideas of what we need to be, and when people don't meet those standards they feel like outcasts. The only way we can keep moving forward, is to have someone supporting us. For me, those people aren't real, yet they fill a similar purpose. I do hope though, that someday I will meet that one person who could understand an introverted effeminate young guy like me.

I really dislike the idea that you should dismiss your own feelings just because "other people have much harder lives than you do so don't complain". It makes it sound like they're trying to say to just disregard your own feelings about yourself and how you may be suffering with something by just saying that others have it worse than you do. I mean yeah of course I know some people have it far worse than I do but just let me feel my own damn thoughts. I hope that people can learn that it's okay to feel sad and other negative emotions without constantly having to berate yourself for it. I hope that those people can get the help that they need and hope everyone has a good rest of their day. sorry for the long reply just really needed to get that off my chest.

Venting makes you “venerable” but it’s good, like kind of it can be good and bad but really it can help so I’m glad we can help to be the ears for what your thinking.

Regarding the beginning bit with that dude who got angry, I find that those who I consider online friends rarely if ever talked about friendship. And I can totally relate to drifting apart from friends both online and irl; it feels so awkward to think about reconnecting since I wonder if they even remember me. ^^;

3:06 I really feel like that. I am very passionate about my interests and really want a friend with whom I can share said interests. This is very unfortunate for me, as I don't exactly have very common, or "cool" interests. Ever heard of a 14 year old who collects early electronic vinyl records? For a long time I only had two friend: my real good friend, who lived an hour's drive away, and a another, troubled boy who treated me like a big brother, even though I didn't really feel for him. This social state was very depressing for me, and everything felt gray for that year. I actually changed schools just so I could fit in better, and when the sky seemed to be clearing up, COVID happened. I was trying to make a new social life for myself in the middle of a worldwide pandemic that prevents social interaction. I feel better, and have made some acquaintances, but I nonetheless have yet to meet another "true" friend.

I was lucky enough to have great friends ever since elementary schoool. even today, we share the same hobbies. though we dont talk much, because we study in different places in Greece. But even if we talk after months of no messaging each other, when we talk again, it feels like nothing changed. when we get the chance, we hang out all together and talk about what we always do ~league of legends~, even though i have stopped playing it for years now. i hope you feel better though! and it's ok to vent; if you dont get it out of your chest, it'll only get worse

Yuu's DMs rn must be overflowing with wholesome messages

... 100%, and I mean 100%, can relate! I do have some close friends now, but I have experienced a lot of your journey in my own slanted way.

We all need a venting mechanism, go ahead, no judgement

I really hope your friends see this and immediately reach out to you. You genuinely are one of my favorite RU-vidrs and even though I'm just a stranger on the internet to you, you've changed my life in more ways than you may know

It really sucks to drift away from friends, but if you can manage to get together again after months and it feels like you haven't been apart at all you know you have a strong bond

Damn this video hit hard, cause I get the feeling when you dw to disturb your friends cause you think they have better things to spend time on. And in the end just drift apart, it's good that you vent about this for yourself to get it off your shoulders. Good job on the video and on yourself

You not only put it into words but into a full video, damm, this hit really close to home. No actually to my bedroom door, thats how close it was

Man, I really understand how you feel. I'm really glad making this video helped you feel better, I know how much creating vent pieces like this can help clear the mind. As a side, It's surprising to me, but your videos have made me more open to commenting than anything else on this platform. It's mainly because you talk about topics that I am also heavily interested in, but it's also the vibe your videos give off, this feeling of having a friend just talking about their interests or feelings to you. That's pretty typical with the storytime animator style, but something about your videos just resonates with me compared to others. Whyever that may be, the point is your videos have helped me open up in just a little way, and I hope I can at least encourage you to do the same by speaking up. Either way, keep on staying strong!

I really don’t have that many friends well none of online friends don’t count as “real friends” but I’m still happy either way (btw great video! and I’m sorry all this shit happened to you)

Because of Rona I feel like retreating too.. not opening any socials for weeks (not anymore), not posting any art even, and now when I think about it i've been holed up in my house for a year! ._." Really wish I could get a fulltime job so I could meet new people and go out even more. Tbh back then I always feels like trapped in a cage and its frustating, but nowadays I just don't really care..? Probably that's a bad thing which means I lost motivation haha All in all, hope 2021 will be better for all of us! :)

I’m that one that considers EVRY one on the internet my friend but no one irl

I stopped contacting with my high school friends about 3 years ago when I realized on their annual gathering that my lack of attention span and resolve gave me absolutely nothing 'of value' to talk to them. Even though they didn't indicate any of that. I don't wish to know how they're doing now.

I think in this times of pandemics this is so relatable, haven't seen my friends face to face like in a year u.u Anyways great video!

Kinda reminds me of myself. I lost many friends just by not talking because I think that they think i'm boring

I'm not sure why your making this documentary on my social life, its rather worrying knowing how I'm being spied on 24/7 by you. Good video btw

Oof, this hit quite close to home for me. I'm a pretty reclusive person when it comes to meeting new people, but have an extrovert like drive to talk to people. I try to talk to new people but I always feel like there's a barrier that makes it hard for me to see them becoming a friend. That, added with being in a friend group that I feel like I'm not buddy-buddy with, makes me lonely in that I feel like I'm just not likable, or am such a detestable person to where people don't want to interact with me. Then I compare myself more to others and think I'm an interior person or less of a human being than others. Then the critic of my mind says that "You have an inferiority complex, get over it. What makes you think you're the center of attention?". Heck, while typing this I feel like I'm going to be bashed for thinking I have that complex or that I'm just commenting for attention ;_;. I've come to try and broaden my gap of who I would consider a stranger and acquaintance, but I've never really experienced what a best friend is like, or even buddy tier. I feel like I relate to some points in this video, but seeing people aren't alone in this, and seeing someone push past the feeling of loneliness makes others like me hope we'll finally see good compadres. :D

Honestly, I'm one of the people who are very easy to call people friends, but I do feel paranoid to call them a friend because I don't feel like they might see me that way. It always paranoids me, and it made me feel bad every time they don't feel the same. I guess this is just my personal perspective, and as someone with paranoia. It is interesting to see someone on the opposing view of mine on the therm of friendship. Keep up the good video tho, reallt enjoyed it

I moved around a lot because (military family) and I constantly had to leave any friends I made. When I was younger I was really good at making friends but every time I moved I got worse and worse at making friends till I eventually was actively trying not to make friends since I thought I would just end up moving again anyways. Then I found out that we weren’t moving again and that I had spent a whole year actively trying to not make friends so I then had no friends. But the reason we weren’t moving once last time was because one of my parents didn’t want us to have to leave our friends again. And of course my first thought was ‘what friends?! Non of us have friends here! Not even you!’. But there was nothing I could do about it. I rarely ever kept talking to my past friends not because I didn’t want to still be friends or we couldn’t click anymore, but because I left. I wasn’t there anymore, I couldn’t be a part of their life more than just talking and listening from far away. I felt like the lives they were living didn’t require my presence and that if I disappeared from it, it probably wouldn’t really matter that much, or be very noticeable. And I had this desire to pause our relationship in time so that we couldn’t drift apart but didn’t realize till later that I was essentially doing the exact opposite of what I wanted by not reaching out anymore. The biggest mistake I ever made was probably my lack of reaching out, cause whenever I finally did reconnect with old friends we’d almost always click again. It was the same with my online friends.

I think the definition of friend also changes from online to irl. Online I have "friends" who I would like to talk with more than once. But then I have close friends who I hang out with a couple of days a week but that group of who is the close friends changes from week to week. I get called a drifter a lot because I'll disappear without any context and then reappear in a couple weeks without any explanation. At school I will talk to anybody who is talking, which is easy for me because I have a good memory and can remember every single persons name and history, but since I went to a different high school than all of my childhood friends I don't hang out with any people at school after school. It's like I'm always a couple steps from becoming close to any of them because I never put forth enough effort with any of them.

This problem haunts me too. I lose contact with my friends because I feel like I am not living up to standards. I'd like to hear more about how you face these challenges, because your insights can help me too. Here are some things that I have learned in my journey: when a friend asks to keep in touch, they mean it, they're not just being polite. And, making myself vulnerable by reaching out to a friend can often result in a pleasant conversation. You speak about a person's default state, and that's a fascinating concept. Who do we tend to become, how do we tend to feel, when we are not actively trying to be who we want to be? A friend of mine who is a life coach told me that we can change our default state by changing the way we think. She suggests that, every time a person wakes up in the morning, they should think of three things that they're grateful for. This helps us get into the habit of seeing the positive things in life instead of focusing only on problems. I haven't been practicing this suggestion but, now that your video reminded me of it, I'll try it again.

I relate a lot... sometimes my friends go away, live their lives have this great achievement... And I can feel like Im still here in my bed sulking... And in online I always try to act like someone Im not just not to be left out by everyone... Weeks ago me and an online friend got into a fight and that fight just made me feel more less and lesser... Sometimes I feel like both online and offline... I need to act up the -person- just to be not left out and feel a great spiral sucking me in and making me feel less and inferior to them... I know maybe someone or nobody could have read this but thanks to this video I can atleast vent about this... So yeah... Have a nice day you all. Stay Safe.

Honestly, astrology has helped me understand why friendships never work out for me. I have Lilith in my 11th house (of friendships) and an Aquarius Venus. Which means I'm a very demanding friend with difficult integration into groups of society. Typical lone wolf, Aquarius behavior. (I have 5 planet placements in that sign including my Sun.) I also need communication for my friendships to feel genuine. This is why I get along with Geminis, because they're the same way. You have to keep them interested.

The stricter your definition of friendship is, the more you learn to cherish their company, especially in tough times like these. You’ve handled this about as well as you could have by addressing the issue. Not everything in such a channel can be sunshine and gumdrops. Keep taking care of yourself. There are people that care, even if they aren’t necessarily “friends”.

I don’t have friends because honestly after 28 years, everyone is disappointing lol…

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS the biggest of yesses to this whole thing. Here! Have a ramble! I I had a really really similar conversation with a friend a few months ago, and we we were both stupidly reluctant to call each other friends XD Even though I genuinely love them as a person and, like you mentioned, we can listen to each others passions and problems, I was SOOOOO reluctant to call them a friend. Because I somehow felt like, idk I didn't deserve it? And also there is this weird irrational feeling of things going wrong as soon as you call someone a friend. Being able to openly talk and ramble to someone, share interests, and them also being able to share things with you, is like, SUPER important to me. As well as like a feeling of being able to depend on them, like I know they'll tell me when I do something wrong and not bottle it up. But in the end, we kind of came to the conclusion that there's different kinds of friends if that makes any sense? That the definition of friend is too broad to weigh it all on this one word. And like you said Yuu, everyone declares someone a friend at a different point. So there's the friend you hang out with, the friend you just enjoy being around on parties, the friend you can talk about casual stuff with, and the ones you can ramble about your weird brain doing stupid stuff - latter which are the ones I really feel comfortable with. But if you Yuu are anything like me, then the latter is so important because it helps with said messy brain. I always have this constant noise needlessly overcomplicating human interaction. And being able to vent, without anyone blocking it, finding it annoying, but actually listening - that's worth the world. Anyways just wanting to let you know that rambling sometimes is fine~ you do you!

DAMN... i...i can relate... I constantly feel like I'm not worthy of even being friends with people... I feel like... i can't carry a conversation with someone who wants 2 talk about something I don't rlly like... I like 2 chat about things i like with people who may share things i also like...😥 It's largely why I'm very shy, and timid when talking 2 people irl, and why I've never been able 2 make friends irl...😥 I know I'm probably just projecting myself here... but it's something i RLLY needed 2 get off my chest...😥

Tl;dr: RU-vidrs should speak out about mental health more. (Chihuahuas tend to talk a lot.) Hi Yuunarii! I'm so glad you decided to take the time to make a video such as this. I see so many big RU-vidrs showing what they do and who they are but I always get frustrated knowing that they have the ability to really make a big impact on the lives of others but never do anything to help others. And if they did, you can't really tell if they genuinely care about helping others because they have their OWN reputation to live up to. In particular, sharing with others their personal problems. Of course, there are going to be topics that should be kept private but I think a topic like what this video is about is perfect! RU-vidrs, in general, should understand that it's okay to share your feelings about something or ask for help from the community. Even if it is out of the ordinary from the content they usually make. By that, I don't mean to share ANOTHER person's experience because it doesn't share the same morals and authenticity of the video. The number of people who have a mental illness (anxiety, depression, etc.,) is increasing. I'm not sure about the entire world, but I know for a fact it's happening in the United States and other first-world countries. I also know there are a lot of youth and adults, including on a personal level, that don't get treatment because they are either too afraid to get it or they can't afford it. However, do you know a place where people can go free and anonymously? DING, DING! RU-vid! Even if making a video like that doesn't really help the RU-vidr, it can definitely impact someone who watches this video and say to themselves, "Wow! this person understands what I'm going through perfectly. I've been trying to understand what I've been feeling but I've never really done that. Now I can understand myself more because this RU-vidr explained it for me." or "You know what? Maybe I should speak out to someone. Who cares if it's not anyone's business or if it's not considered 'manly' to express your feelings, or people might judge me because of what I have to say. If this RU-vidr has the courage to express themselves this way, then why can't I? I deserve to be happy just as much as anyone else." Anyway, I could write a college thesis myself about this topic but my paws are getting sore from typing so much.

On a non-"jokey" note, I've come to a point in my life where I honestly don't give two flying fucks about having friends. THAT said, for some reason, having a romantic relationship, that one person who I could always see as my best friend, the love of my life, and the center of my world all rolled into one, was always important to me. I always felt like if I had that one thing, that missing link per se, I wouldn't ever have need for anything else. And then I found my missing link! And then she died, and I lost my "missing" link again. I'd say if there's any one, horrible, terrible feeling in this world, it's when you feel truly... utterly, alone. And because for all the years that I was supposed to be learning social interaction skills during high school and college I had already had a relationship through all of those years, did not have to go through the whole learning process of social interaction most everyone goes through, and thus, didn't really truly pursue anything else because I had already "found" my "missing link" to the chain of life, after she passed away I found myself completely alone - as well as without the skills to make friends / meet people. After I dug my way out of the emotional pit that her death threw me into (took my three years just to talk to anyone at all again, and start leaving the house), I tried to find my "missing link" once more. I had two relationships - both of them short (one lasted maybe a year, the other, maybe five months), and both of them failures at finding someone. The first relationship after my fiance's death I had, that one was a mistake mostly on my part. After my fiances death, even after the "three years of grieve and woe", I felt one - massive feeling that was so large it sort of consumed all my other thoughts. Emptiness. Loneliness. LOST. That's the only word I can use to describe it. Lost. It was like someone had reached into my soul, found whatever part of it that it was which gave me a purpose, and plucked it out. I had lost my reason to live and the thing, which was a person, that my entire world revolved around. I was just craving being able to fill "hole" again, like there was someone out there that cared again. In reality, we had nothing in common at all, and she was only with me because I made her feel super special, and I realized that I did that because I was serving my own self-interests of just wanting to replace that hole in my soul, that "missing link", it was more of an attempt on my part to replace what was missing in my life rather than pursue an actual relationship with this person that... turns out, we didn't really have much of an connection. So that ended. Next relationship I went in with a new mindset, and I really, truly thought this one was going to be something. We had tons in common, had a natural connection, that "spark", etc. But I lost my job - and thus car at the time, and because I couldn't get to where she lived to see her more than maybe once a week things got hard. I practically pleaded with her to just hang in there, and in the meantime I worked my ass of at two new jobs to get a new car. She waited for me for all of two weeks before leaving the relationship... I would get the car less than three weeks after she left. That one hit me hard. Someone who I thought had really cared about me, ditched my ass in a flash at the first signs of trouble despite the fact I was busting my ass at two hard labor jobs to make everything okay for us. *sigh*. So, now I'm at the point where I realized two things A) my fiance is gone nothing in this world is going to bring her back from the unfortunate cancer that took her from me, and B) No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I want, I loved her too much and her place in my world was too large to replace. So now I've given up on trying to date all together. I don't necessarily believe in "soul mates", but I do think that for many of us, there's that one person. That one person in the world, whether you've found them or not, that you're able to form such a bond with that is so strong that words alone will always fail to describe it. And once they're gone... well, they're gone. And while it deeply, truly sucks. I've ultimately accepted this fact. So... It's when you can't find the missing link. That thing that makes life, *life*. The thing that completes you. It's different for everybody, for many people the "missing" link of their life isn't a person or a romantic relationship, it's something else. I found (and then lost again, thanks to cancer and this world/life being basically a joke) mine - and I know what my missing link is. But a lot of people still don't know what their missing link is. Is it a career that you absolutely love? Is it your (platonic/blood) family? Is it your wife and/or kids? Girlfriend/boyfriend? Maybe it's something more simple. Maybe it's complex. Maybe your missing link is feeling like you've made a grand achievement in your life that makes you feel like you've finally made your life worth something. Maybe it's just friends. Maybe it's just one friend. Who knows, like I said, everybody's missing link is different. And until we all realize what it is, and find it... we're lost without it. It's possible to never realize you had a missing link, and live your whole life in the dark without it, never knowing you wanted or needed it except for a small feeling that crept up time and time again, every now and then, like something was off... like something just didn't feel right. But on the other hand, it is *impossible* to fail to realize once you've found it. It's impossible for that feeling of "being made whole" to escape your notice. It's possible to not realize that your "one thing", your missing link is lost and hasn't been found. But it's impossible to be unaware that you've found it. Because once you've found it, you'll immediately realize what was missing from your life the entire time, and how up until that point life was more or less you just stumbling around in the dark. Because until you've realized what's been missing from you're heart... you're in the dark. EDIT: Did not mean to type an entire essay. I use the "missing link" analogy so much here because it's the best way I can think of to, well, put my thoughts into words.

You and many of us, Yuunarii. We all have those voices in our heads that don't shut up when we want them to. You must talk to others about what you're going through, and this video is a first step! You're doing good, ok? 👍 Don't bottle it up. Speak up! We human beings must give support to each other, especially during these times.

This reminds me too damn much of myself... Its scaryyy ;-;;

I can feel this so much Drifting away from friends sucks, especially if you were really close. Also, you don't really need my encouragement but, your emotions are valid. You are not a drama queen or an attention seeker for venting either I'm gonna vent a bit I made quite a few friends online and we have been together for awhile like, a few months but the friend group split up, and now I'm drifting away from the person I was closest with I do hope that one day you can find a great friend or friend group that you can be comfortable in

11:48 this gave me Madeline/Badeline vibes

I'm also the type of person who acknowledged rather early the difference between being friend by convenience and connecting on the deeper level. So I totally feel like you on this one. Those last years I've found somebody that became my best friend and it feels sooo great, and I also have 1/2 other close enough friends, but sometimes I still feel like I'm a little bit too alone. I would like to talk more to the group of friends we are in, buuut, because of this disconnection between "casual chatting" and "really becoming friend", and because of a lot of personnal issues, I don't have the courage to engage the conversation often enough for it to become meaningful. And since I dropped out of school and I'm everyday at home because I need to recover my mental health, I really feel like I'm the one being the sh*tty outcast of the group who accomplishes nothing of my life ahah... And finding a solution for such a bad situation is already an ENORMOUS challenge in itself, bruh Sooo, yep, I see how you feel. I hope you will be able to find a personal balance where you can still keep in touch without feeling like you have to force yourself too much ! Thanks for this video and for sharing your experience with us o/ !

Before clicking on this video, I didn't know that it would hit me so hard as it did. I'm currently on the last year of highschool before college and at the start of the year, all my friends were planning to make it the year to remember before we all split up and all... But with Covid, plans obviously fell apart and now have to resort to online interactions. It's been hard, keeping and maintaining the relationship I have with my friends. And while I have a few people I can talk to on a regular basis, I sort of felt like with most of them I rather not waste their time and like I have to have a good reason to interact in the first place. I know though, like you did in your video, that this isn't there fault and that the lack of physical interaction is getting to my head. But validating my emotions and feelings towards this kind of situation is proving difficult, but thanks to your video I think I can help myself going forward. I hope you're doing good for yourself, and thank you for a wonderfully made video. Can't wait to see more of what you make!

with time I understood that for me it only makes sense to see friendship as a spectrum, there are a lot of people I like I only see once a year, others I enjoy talking to in certain settings and not others and so on, and also the intensity and intimacy of a friendship can change with time (usually people grow apart, but the opposite can happen, like when a friend of mine returns from abroad every once in a while). The only thing I can say about not keeping in touch with others and the sense of superiority is that humans need other humans, and it's a really strong need, I try to understand others and also understand what my existence has done for them, how they value me, and yeah, some people like me and this helps, I can understand that, I can understand that they like me and they want me cause I feel the same things towards them. Sometimes I wonder if I should send a message just saying "hi" to someone I haven't spoken with in a while, there is probably a reason why they didn't say anything to me for so long, but then I think that I aslo didn't say anything to them, everyone is not only busy with stuff, but also really worried about being a nuisance to others. Sometimes I send a message just saying "hi", it's scary and I never know how to make the conversation flow from there, but it's fun, people react positevly to that, and eventually we are able to hold a conversation, I'd love to be closer to certain people, I kinda want to know everyone already so I don't have to get to know them, to learn to understand what they are like, to learn how to know if they want to talk to me or not, but I can't, and the second best option is to be "annoying" until someone literally calls me annoying, cause if they don't then I'm not I guess. (yay! I wrote a really messy comment, oh well)

Hearing this hurts a bit, because..., a while ago I went through something similar, I had to leave school due to personal problems, problems which were not taken seriously by my friends, I got away from them for a while, I had friends online which at the end of the day, they did not act in the best way either, but now everything is over, the solution was to talk things out, say what I felt, not be afraid to say what you feel is the best, let your friends know what is wrong with you, in this way I managed to solve it, and feel better, and I seriously hope that everyone who is going through this, can solve it and feel better about yourselves. :")

Hey Yuu, this put a lot of what I've been feeling lately into words. I'm actually a natural extrovert, but having to be isolated from my friends and never being able to see them has definitely made me more sensitive and depressed in similar ways. I'm glad you could express yourself with this video.

Oh yes, I know that feeling as well. I have a introvert personality as well and I tend to retract to to my own shell too, and then my pessimism and natural paranoia go out of their way to make every waking second a miserable existence. When I was fresh out of college I always had that urgency to do stuff and achieve things to try to earn my keep with parents and friends. That inferiority complex hit hard and unless I'm feel like "I'm helping" in some way, my self esteem goes down the drain faster then light hits the earth from the sun. THAT caused me to develop a overly "eager to help attitude" with is kind of bad and good at the same time. It is bad because when I'm in a group it kind 's of force me to seek validation from my friends or peers and I know that really fucks up your mind. But it is also good because it drove my empathy towards the god damn moon and I managed to learn a few social(and virtual) cues to how people are feeling and that allowed me to help my friends and family get over some _very_ depressive and problematic shit. That aside, I also drifted apart from my childhood friends, then from my teen friends and that taught me to ponder and try to get really connected with my friends to try and keep in touch. I still have the contacts of my early friends, but like you said, there's that massive wall that "prevents" me from talking to them. In this case, years of separation. I still think of them as friends though. About my recent friends, even if we stay some time(6 days to 1 week) without speaking, we can just pop-up in what's app and throw jabs at each other. I'm the more... lonely(?) of our group, but also one of the first to shut up and fall back into the shell. Luckily, my friends seem to understand that and knock on my shell case to help me out and interact again. What I mean to say with all this is: friendship is a two-way street. If you note one of your friends falling behind, you would go to them to try to bring them up, and they should do the same to you. Even if real life gets in the way, a small "hey there, how's it going?" might be the way. Unto the real life "pressure"... I'm in my 30's and hell, do I suffer from Imposter Syndrome. I'm always thinking I'm not up to the job I do and scared shitless of what would do if I lost my job and couldn't get another tomorrow. There's also the cultural pressure of "getting a house, getting a family" and all that crap that just compounds the natural anxiety. One of my dearest friends caught me in of the "depressive tantrums" I had some time ago and, despite being in arguable worse position than me, managed to throw some fighting words at my face at how I should watch what I have achieved instead of what I have not (silly I know, but when the Inferiority/Imposter complex hits, you kind of get shortsighted). What I want to say with this is: the real world will try to crush you with a lot of expectations, the "right path", the "correct way". Alone, we crack and fall because of these. With friends and loved ones we can remember that there is more ways to make a living, to live and all that. Personally, I would ask the question: Do you regret the path you have taken and the choices you made? Do you feel unhappy with what you do today? If you answered yes to any of those questions, there is no problem. After all, we can always try again. We might inconvenience people, but that's just what living with others is. As long you aren't alone, you can still get up. And I'm pretty sure that if you stretch you hand, someone will help you out. Wow... that was... lengthy. Sorry if I sounded a bit over my head and condescending, my own personal feelings got mixed a bit while I was writing. I hope no one takes this as me telling how one should feel or live their life it's just... a friendly advice based on my experience. Stay safe and healthy!

I can relate so hard to this, I literally always have the feeling of being less, nothing I do is worth their time or interest so it's weird anyone knows anything about me By luck around 2 years ago I got my group of 2 other people that I feel comfortable just being able to share anything, but the feeling of inferiority just doesn't go away, my problems would never be more important than theirs and my projects or capacities are pretty much 0 in front of them, I know they would say it's not like that but... The feeling just doesn't go away I got my bestie and I talk a lot with her and if it wasn't because we both almost depend on needing to tell and know everything about the other side I wouldn't be able to tell this problem and more But still, I feel inferior no matter how hard I try I just always behind or less capable... I'm having a lot of issues with it and I'm happy you're being able to go over it, at least a bit Thanks for this video

I'm probably in the same situation, but I know I lack the social intelligence (you seem to have) to recognize and accept that. Oftentimes I just prefer being alone, since I've never really experienced that kind special bond to someone (it's my problem), but I can imagine how much one might suffer without one. I hope things are going to change for you. 💜 Also yes sometimes it's just feels easier to vent to some stranger online, it's a strange feeling...

I needed to hear this today! Thank you for sharing your story. I'm going through a similar realization with my friends and it's good to know I'm not alone with these thoughts

*hugs you* ...I know how you feel. During my school years, I did make some good friends...but I also made some bad friends as well. Not to mention, I cared a lot in both school and real life. I always hated myself and was that pessimistic...to the point that in my high school years, I was physical abusing my parents with domestic violences. And not to mention, I was making threats to some people as well...to the point that I was arrested 4 times. And after I graduated high school and moved to North Carolina, for the past few years, I was verbally abusing my parents. Especially my mom! My mom couldn't take the abuse at all. I was an angry kid to point that I thought I was gonna get kicked out of my parents' place! I always thought that nobody loved me and they all hated me! And that was my biggest fear: Being despised by everyone around the world...because of my bad behavior. I always hated being despised. Then...on New Year's day on this year, after my uncle passed away, I verbally abused my mom one last time...And that is where my parents couldn't take it anymore. They were getting tired of me being an asshole to everyone. Especially them. And my mom told me that if I acted like that one more time...then this is where I get kicked out for good. So after that fateful days, I realized...enough is enough. I decided that it's time for me to fight my darkness...and be a happy person.

Interesting to know that you have almost the exact same problems with real and internet relationships. During the beginning, at one hand I felt a bit displeased at the guy for demanding her to basically feel the same way he feels about her during their friendship, but at the same time I know where this guy is coming from and it would be completely unjustified to just call his emotions irrational. When I move out of a friendship group, I usually just tend to stay quiet and with my peice of mind to retain my inner thought. I'm too scared to pick up a conversation with them after a long while but at the same time I get too paranoid of thinking if I don't talk now then my friendship will those people will start to drift apart to the point where it'll take ages to return to the group, if at all. So you see... I'm socially... Disfigured. There's also three types of friends I like to categorize: Regular friends which are people u know having decently meaningful conversations with. (Nothing special) Close friends: Friends that enjoy the same interests as u and can play around with whenever you're able to talk to them frequently or not... and finally Best friends: Friends with you're 100% compatible with and will ever rarely get into a heated discussion with.

This resonates a lot especially within the pandemic the lack of actual communication makes you drift or self doubt so fast. The fear of being alone yet retreating socially is not something to feel ashamed about.

I have the same problems. I have trouble keeping in touch even when I have people's phone numbers. Even making friends is hard as an adult. I feel like there's so much going on in my life(not all of it is good) that I just find myself never reaching out or even having trouble talking to anyone in general, even family. I just feel like my social skills got worse after I finished high school. They weren't great before but they're worse now. I always feel terrible about this. We're definitely not meant to live like this. I hope your situation improves. Hopefully mine does too.

2:30 . Anime never betrays you. It stays with you no matter what Okay, now for some serious talk about soulmate stuff. Honestly, latter part feels like friend test or something. "Oh hey! Let's test my friends! How many of them will message me on their own if I stop writing to them? How many of them will remember my incoming birthday? How many of them will watch my next vid if I notify noone?" I've pulled a similar trick on my former schoolmates long time ago, and I've hurt myself the big way. I resented the whole world, and huge amount of that resentment still pertains. About "who contacts who": there is that thing, I don't quite recall the right name...something like ladder of superiority. You willing to talk to your friends, and some random people trying to befriend you, are the sides of this coin. About depression and venting...we're going to the psychology domain, duh. Which bad sides of you are superficial, and which are the part of who you are, and all that stuff. Sly psychologists say that all of these personality issues could be explained, reflected on and even cured, but you can't do that through self-reflection, only another human (i.e. the psychologist) can help you. About this particular loneliness feeling, there are debates: some argue that human should first work on being self-sufficient, others say that being a part of social group is indispensable as humans are social beings. Different things work for different people, thus you should figure it out for yourself on your own. Arguing with oneself was freaking relatable. Nowadays I always abruptly stop whenever I find myself doing it, because there is one truth behind it: if you argue with yourself, the one who loses is always you. All in all, speaking out, venting, dissing on other people...anything goes, as long as you won't be embarassed by this vid 10 years later. That said, good luck. Keep your precious ones close to you

This... sounds familiar, frighteningly so.😅 And I got suprised by the sudden stream of dutch words O.o always fun to realise one of your favourite youtubers having the same nationality! And great job on this video, I just felt like I should tell you.😸

the slowed blue cactus island soundtrack in the beginning gave me such a feeling i didnt move for a minute like a weirdo

I can't believe you don't realize how fucking adorable you are when you say these things. I would love to hug you with all my might

I feel very sad for Yuu right now. Like, I feel the exact same way. I know that if I say "We can be friends at this point" it will not matter that much at all. I feel you Yuu. I love you so much

This speaks to me on so many levels, and I can’t think of any other way to describe it. … I’m glad I found this.

I have similar issues and feelings as you! For me, a friend is what people would consider a “best friend” and anything above that would be a very close friend. I’ve talked to many people about this feeling but they don’t understand. I talked about it with my ex who thought her friends were my friends too and she belittled me for it, bad talking me about why I didn’t see them as friends if they are there for me if I need to talk. I’ve had classmates call themselves my friend after I say I don’t have any. I’ve had my mom tell me that I don’t actually make the effort to make friends and it all just sucks. What’s worse is that my mental disorders have an extreme fear of having anyone know me on a personal level so whenever someone knows me down to the bone, I become severely paranoid, like I admitted the worst secret to ever be said. It makes me feel violated, like someone saw me naked or smt. It’s not healthy that’s for sure so I’m always stuck in this cycle where I can’t make friends easily but when I do, I end up having to push them away due to my fears. It makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong for not considering these people as friends or something wrong for having intense paranoia over the thought of anyone knowing me. It really sucks and I don’t think I can get through it honestly

If I decide someone’s a friend I probably like hanging out with them

One of the most INFP videos I have ever seen lol. The things that were said along with the approach of trying to explain what things mean to you and how you view certain things I loved it.

i'm literally considering sending this to everyone i interact w/ on a day to day basis, you pretty much put my experience with friendship into words. i hope things get better for the both of us hahahd

Yeah, that scenario where you yell at yourself...I sorta had that back then and still sometimes do now. I do have some friends but very few and my brain is like “at least you have some, stop complaining”. I also have other issues but I won’t go too much into detail. Basically, I feel alone...because they’re online, not irl. I wish they were but they aren’t. I’ll have some irl someday I hope. Keep making great content yuu Also, utsu p is my favorite vocaloid artist. Why? I get to scream. Helps me vent.

im dealing with this sort of situation now and it realllyyy sucks. i know the friends i do have are there to listen and support me but i just cant seem to open up in fear that theyll think im a burden. for this reason i barely talk to them about anything anymore and im almost completely isolated. it gets lonely and sometimes its painful to remember the state im in. i hope i can find a way out sooner or later

The problem with big groups is that sometimes if you have known each other for a long time, people expect you to act a certain way or are slapped with labels so sometimes it feels like you aren't allowed to change or outgrow that fixed view ppl have of yourself. I feel a bit of that inferiority complex as I have a bad habit of assuming that someone that isn't responding to me or my previous messages is disinterested in friendship with me, and I feel inferior somewhat to my neurotypical peers. Other autistic people, not so much. Some people who I think are cool I worry are "too cool" for me. Hence why I was afraid to make new friends to hang out with outside of school in high school (plus the fear of being bullied again). You'd think it'd be easier in college, but being a part time commuter is hard, the pandemic threw everyone behind, and I'm intimidated to become closer to people. The college I went to before I wasn't even there that much due to being super part time and busy with work, so I was more out of the loop compared to other people. Yet I still socialized more than I did at my current college lol.

5:37 "I finally felt like i was... understood and didn't have to be so scared of judgement." she says while ducking under the table.

wow i really relate to this ;-; i recently graduated high school and drifted away from a lot of friends, and i am having a hard time finding people i actually relate to i feel kinda bad about not talking to my old friends but honestly at some point, i feel like its hard to talk and connect to them again lol

Best Yuunarii video ever. I'm very glad you made this helpful video.

Low-key I understand and feel you bc, I'm an Introvert, and it's a little hard to me make friends but I gotta put myself out there, and I'm in high school I gonna make the most of it. And, if I make some good friendships, at some point I could go over to their home, it would be a dream to hangout with my classmate(s) out of school instead of in school when I had some classes with them together. But in order to sll that to happened, I need to put myself out there in some way shape or form. I may be an Introvert, but that doesn't mean I get to have some friends or acquaintances to talk or hangout with.

Sometimes I have problems when I feel the need to let go of a friend. I just have friends that I don't have an interest in talking to anymore, and it scares me. I can't just tell them I don't want to be their friend anymore, as they never did anything inherently wrong that made me uncomfortable. The worst part is that I don't have a "bestie" because all of my friends have to be my "bestie" just so they don't go "oH yOu HaTe Me AnD lIkE uR oThEr FrIeNd mOrE" and so I always have to tell them that they are my favorite forever every time I acknowledge anybody else I know as my "best friend" or even just my "friend." At some point I don't feel listened to by my friends, I don't talk that much and every time I call them as a group it just switches between me saying something and them not responding at all, me repeating myself louder a few more times and them not saying anything, and then me being afraid that my mic isn't working and saying "hey can you hear me" and them saying yes, or me not talking for a little while and them being like, "hEY iS sHe sTill In tHe cALL" every 30 seconds. Like huh i wonder why i don't talk when one, nobody is asking me anything and there isn't an interesting discussion going on, and two, even if i did say something yall wouldn't give a crap. I say that I love them and they mean the world to me and yeah, they do a lot of amazing stuff with me even though most of the time talking to them feels like a chore. Also, some of them keep talking about their one special interest the whole entire time when im with them, and while I understand that myself since I am neurodivergent and I do have special interests i can go on about for a long time, sometimes these "special interests" are things that literally put me to sleep and if I, a person who has played DND once and never again and has turned down your multiple offers to play it with you and is only responding to your run-on sentences about all of the monsters and every textbook written on this role play game with "oh", "cool", "haha", and nodding for 20 minutes straight then you should know to switch the conversation topic to something we can both enjoy before I make up an excuse on how I forgot to feed my cats breakfast and run off so I can avoid 2 more hours of you droning on about a campaign you once had with your uncle 3 years ago. I understand if you have a hard time starting a conversation for both of us to enjoy but in that case you have to understand my decision to stop talking to you altogether if you don't have anything else to say. What makes it worse is that these aren't just people I know, these are best friends so close to me that I've known them for most of my life and they could refer to me as their sister and think I won't question it. If I just told them, "hey, I don't really share any interests with you anymore so I don't really wanna to talk to you anymore," their heart would be SHATTERED and my other friends and family would refer to me as "cruel" or a "monster" for not wanting to be their friend anymore. It sounds a lot easier than it sounds to say goodbye to someone. It's a one sided friendship but the other friend doesn't even know it because I've been pretending to be excited seeing them for so long. It gets even worse because almost all of my friends are 1-2 younger than me and they have looked up to me and respected me for quite a while and me, being the more "mature" one, could never stop being their friend. Thanks for listening I guess.

The thing with me personally is I have horrible trust issues.. I easily made friends with people but they all betrayed me saying that "you're anxiety is fake" or bullying me so that caused me trama i'm the same as you in some ways but i'm mostly just scared of what may happen if I trust people enough to let them into my life

8:49 Not feel proud off You got 100K, your on the right path, congratulations.

God I feel this. As embarrassing as it is, I made my first ACTUAL friend only in the September of 2019. For the longest time there was this girl in a co-op I went too who would always just isolate herself in the corner and just draw, kinda like me. I'm an artist so it's so hard to find people who actually appreciate drawing and characters, let alone enjoy it themselves, but when I sucked it up and talked to her, I noticed we had extremely similar interests. And once we got past the initial awkwardness, we actually were able to have an enjoyable conversation. And for the next few months we grew closer, gushing about our ocs, sharing ideas for stories, talking about games we like, hell at one point I had her over at my house and we just sat and conversed while my brother and his pals goofed off lol. But soon the semester was gonna end, and I wanted to keep in touch. So I exchanged numbers with her, and we would text a lot throughout December 2019, but it wasn't the same. But I'm glad I did get her number, because shortly after... Covid. Our co-op broke apart, we couldn't leave home, and I knew, I'd never get to see her again. She was the only person I felt comfortable talking about my interests and passions too, the only real friend I ever had. Thankfully I still have her number, and occasionally we chat, but it still isn't the same. I joined Twitter that same year and have made a lot of friends there, but I always hear that online friends aren't "real friends" and I just feel so inadequate about it. Everything I enjoy is so niche that I feel like im "weird" or "wrong" for liking it. But it's good to know I'm not alone in that. Thank you for sharing this, it means a lot. (Sorry if my wording is sloppy)

felt, dude. slowly I'm learning that relationships are what you make them and to pursue the relationships I want to have, but its a journey.

I've been feeling this exact way for the entirety of 2020 I just didn't really know how to put it into words or how to think about it thank you for making this video it's honestly made me feel a lot better

Didn't know that this painting from last discord stream was made for this video

"Wanna be friends?" *Woooaaaah, not so fast there buddy.*

I not sure, what I feeling right now, but this video makes me so happy, just to know there people like you Yuunarii whose can understand the differences of friendship! And seriously know that you did a such personal video, thats so sweety!!

Personally when it comes to IRL friends I don't really talk too much, but I never really felt inferior, I'm just not that talkative or sociable by nature, in fact IRL I'm kinda shy. Or at least outside my classmates and friends. But yeah nice vid Yuu, I know people may say "Oh you should socialze more, ppl can't just adjust for you" and I think that might've troubled you in some way, but I think ppl should also understand that not everyone is like that and that's okay (:

You're super valid, thank for sharing this

I know this isn't strictly related to the core message of the video, and only a few will be able to relate to it, but it's something I want to share. To the uninitiated, it only takes a little recognition before you start receiving the "Hey" messages. The general advice is to ignore them, but I (against my better judgement) usually respond. Most of the time, they are respectful and just want to ask a question or two. Other times the conversation very quickly devolves into parasocial one-sided streams of consciousness that I inevitably must ignore lest I make the problem worse. A few take my silence for what it is. Others continue to send me "Hey", "Hey", "Hey Oblivion", "Oblivion", "Hey," for months on end. No matter how creative or inventive you are, there is no polite way to tell someone "I don't know you. We aren't friends and never were." Ignoring them isn't easy, but it's better than humoring them. I have enough difficulty making time for my actual friends as it is. I'm lucky to have a partner who loves me and friends with enough similar experiences to know what we go through. Most of our time together is spent in private chats, streaming our art, animation, music, or other work for the sake of mutual productivity. We constantly push each other to improve and be better at what we do. I may never meet them face to face, but they are the best friends I've ever had. TL;DR I appreciate this video. I hope my rant isn't too out of place, here!

i really feel this video. when my best friend and i graduated high school, she moved back to her home country of Australia. i think my brain coped with this by creating a delusional fantasy in which i was convinced that we'd eventually live in the same country again, in the same neighborhood, just like we did before. but the older i grow, the more i realize that it's unlikely we will ever live in the same country again. i live in the country where i grew up. she's gone to live in the country where she grew up. neither of us would be happy spending our lives in a different country. it's been almost 4 years since i last saw her. when we text, we try to talk like things are still normal and we're still as close as always. but there's already been so much of her life that i've been absent for, and from now on, the time in her life that i'll miss, and the time in my life that she'll miss, will only keep growing. when i think about that, i just want to cry myself to sleep and dream of that fantasy again. the delusion where real life doesn't have to get in the way, and i can just be with my best friend.

Great video, love your honesty. If I might add my experiences to this topic, it's always important to remind yourselves (I'm referring to anyone reading this comment) you're just living this one time as the current you, so think deeply what you wish to do in order to make yourselves happy instead of living for the sake of the expecation of others (which might not even be real but just made up by the brain).

4:45 top left goddamn this is so relatable,the main reason i hate discord its so weird everytime i join discord server for certain game guild/clans etc,some ppl have higher position in-game just because they active at discord not because the game activity

I feel you so much! I relate to pretty much everything you said. I feel better knowing that so many people go through the same thing. Thank you for making this video!

Kinda relate to this in a way, haven’t seen much of irl friends since I moved back in 2014 to another province since I had my braces pre-paid cause my mom struggled to pay them herself. Used IG and snapchat and all that and they used to bombard me with questions like “what’s life like there?” “I bet it’s colder where you’re at!” And what not, although we were still young at the time cause kids/teens still asks questions a lot but I feel like nowadays it’s just hard to strike up a convo with people who you haven’t seen in forever and who have different views on things, I always get left on read or something lol, sometimes. I moved back to the province I used to live in but in a different town back in 2018. Was so hyped to move back but honestly I just had the thought at the back of my head saying “oh it’s too late for them now, they don’t care for you. You’ve got online friends that have more interests that you can relate too.” I honestly hated thinking like that. For now I just sort of view them as people I used to know then or something. Just hope one day that our paths will cross one day so that we could just talk to them and catch up. I talk to some of them from time to time if I post stuff from a class photo or event that happened then like “we looked like babies.” Yet although I think some Gen Z kids still suffer from major baby face lol cause holy hell you can notice it on some people. Also grateful for the online friends I’ve made along the way since they helped me though some tough times between 2015-2018, probably wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them.

This was a well made video you made and glad you put this out there to express yourself on a this type of subject!, its nice to hear more from artist how they view friendship from their past and current experience :) keep up the good work Yuunarii!.

I’m strangely happy to see that I’m not alone in this. Making friends isn’t easy by itself, but staying close to them is even harder as time goes on. I’m lucky to have met some people who understand how I feel well enough to know I don’t hate them, even if we haven’t talked for weeks or even months at a time. Talking about your own experiences and feelings like this takes some guts, and I think it’s really cool that you brought some attention to this topic. I know it’s waaaay easier said than done, but if you have something you want to share with someone, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. Reaching out to say ‘Hi’ to an old friend is one of the harder things I’ve done, and I felt so much better afterwards. I wish you luck in your relationships, and I hope you feel more sure of yourself going forward! :)

As someone that struggles with communicating with my best friends and being the first one to initiate a conversation with them due to the fear of being rejected and feeling inferior, this video struck way too close to the heart and judging by other comments other people have also felt this. That's the beauty of creating content on the internet for other people to see, you get videos like this which are so relatable and gives you an introspection you otherwise wouldn't have thought about before or something you really needed at the moment. Being a content creator on youtube really offers something other occupations never can achieve and I don't know how you feel currently about your work or current situation but this video, as your Yume 2kki video is absolute gold.

I honestly feel sorry for you Yuunarii, even I would have experiences with Online Friendships which often breakdown to anger and or sadness and you at least try to move on from them if it gets too sad and or toxic vs Real Life Friends which you try to keep in contact with but then that just moves on as the years go by with them being busy and not wanting to do much as they used to. So I feel your pain as to how that works and yeah, you're also right on the High School friend making thing when I stopped that after entered High School and Graduated as well since I was in a Behavioral School "which kind of felt like a School Prison" so I tended more to the Teachers than trying to make friends with others "even though the Teachers tried to keep on pushing students to work and be friends with one and another" and I at least try to keep the people from who I had in Elementary to Middle "even though they don't talk to me after Graduating from Elementary and Middle anyway" and it's the same thing through some Events that I went to in the past. Trying to keep friendships "same to Relationships and Marriages" doesn't really work out in the end and Idk where it goes but all I can say is to keep moving forward and never give up since giving up tends to well...... Depression and Suicide. Sorry, I think I need to stop typing before it turns from Most Depressing to Strong Sad Depressing.

So hey, I'm new to this channel and I'm utterly shocked on how underrated you are. I love the videos you make and I can't believe how deeply I relate to this video. The only friends I ended up making were 3 guys in school and while people are always trying to be my "friends" online I just can't bring myself to do it since you can't really be friends with someone you will probably never see. Love your content and looking forward for what you have in store next.

I think its really good for someone to make a video like this. Without ever having thought about it, i feel the same way about a lot of this... Thank you.