I always feel weird when you guys say this like... you thought cheating as not normalized in the past? the "catholic husband has a mistress" is literally a classic. Maybe you mean that now women do it too?
Wait so the wife thought she was the cool, fun parent when the only time she interacted with them was when it was dinner? It's kinda confusing on how that works.. I'm glad she changed for the better though :)
I think she thought like that before having kids and being a working adult. Like her fantasies of what life would be ten years later when she was in her early twenties or something. And then life happened and other things took priority. It sounds to me as if she was very focused on having a good work/personal life balance but then forgot to make room for the kids in her routine when she had them. These weeks of introspection made her both realise the sort of parent she was and remember the sort of parent she wanted to be. Tbh she sounds amazing, not everyone can put the work into changing their ways so much even when they see the damage their doing.
@@devthakur84 I wouldn’t go that far. To be fair, no one is good if you look at it that way. We all have our motives but if the motives lead us to being better for the people we love, that’s good and should be celebrated.
Even if he was really a lazy man child, you have no right to cheat on him. These are grown adults why r they so out of touch and blind they see what going on in their own homes . Also, why don't adults just end something before they start something else.
It's because some people are in a situation where it would be too inconvenient to leave because of finances or other perks they have in their relationship but they want more so they cheat. I don't condone such behavior and think it's messed up to use someone like that.
It's all so true, but I especially hate when these people say are unworthy of me i have cheat. As one user There's truely "not adult, they are old children" #superdogsbrothers. At least she woke up before it was late
They get rapped in themselves. In their work,in their activities. They don't consider what all is actually happening for the outcome they see on a daily. Then they begin to ignore. Fortunately for OP,her eyes were forced to open. When she had to step in and do all the things her hubby handled. Unusual as it is,she looked at what she was doing. How much interaction she actually had with her family. She realized that she didn't even know what her daughter liked or wanted. That was the slap in the face that woke her up. She also realized that all she did was nag at her hubby. She just demanded. She didn't show him any kind of appreciation or affection. She actually got lucky. The quarantine forced her to see and do a lot. She has a ton to make up for. She also needs to look more into why she was considering cheating instead of really looking at her hubby and herself. Hubby has a lot to consider as well. Especially with finding her post. Learning how she considered him a "Man child" and her thinking about cheating. They're going to need quite a bit of couples counseling and individual counseling. They are off to a good start.
She always thought that she would be the fun parent, and then she was the working parent that's emotionally distanced from her family. It's actually kinda sad.
No idea how many of those stories are real but taking your husband for granted is present in 100% of them. I might want to do some actual research about it.
Summary Op realizes she is a bad partner and after following weeks, she gets more involved with her kids instead of herself. The husband found the post and tested to see if she was gonna do what she said After a year, they're 50/50, got couples counseling, and are emotionally involved with their kids.
bro. She has spent a WHOLE YEAR redeeming herself why is everyone clinging on that one sentence where she has considered cheating, even though she HASNT
@@Unoriginal-Username69because, and I'll quote one of the top comments, it's insane how cheating is starting to get normalized. It's like, any error, no matter how tiny it is in a relationship, can and will be an excuse for someone to cheat on their partner. That's actually scary. I'd be extremely conflicted with myself to keep dating someone that ever pondered to cheat on me.
@@Unoriginal-Username69 Imagine you are a son, your father nonchalantly said to you "You know son, three years ago i actually want to strangle you and your mom. Not because i'm depressed, because i'm bored." What would you feel?
It’s also a reflection of how easy it is to get caught in our own world and perceptions and not realize what is happening around us. For everyone wanting to trash the wife in this; she was seeing her reality when an emergency caused her to readjust for the moment. In that time, she saw life from a different angle that let her view what she had been missing before. The same thing happened for the husband. I think that is what so many are missing when they want to put the lion’s share of blame on the wife. The husband was silently planning separation himself. Nothing said indicates that either of them went to the other with their concerns before quarantine caused an involuntary shift, but thankfully for them both they were willing to pursue the new reality presented and resolve their past errors.
Kudos for her admitting it, I guess, but, it doesn't make much sense. Did she think her dinner magically cooked itself? The laundry hopped, skipped, and jumped into the washer? The dishes shimmied up to the soapy sponge on their own? Where did she think her kids were while she was watching tv? I'm glad she's making a change, but to be that completely oblivious is really crazy
I'm relieved she realized she was the issue and decided to fix and change things before it was too late. The grass is not always greener on the other side, and cheating is definitely not the answer. Working towards bettering your circumstance is so much more satisfying.
This lady was delusional and completely detached from reality. How the hell she could believe her husband was lazy and neglectful while she was amazing and contemplated an affair cause she "deserved better" is legit beyond me. He does EVERYTHING and she only sees the kids at dinner, doesn't cook, and goes out with friends both days of the weekend! Good on her for waking up and making positive changes, but how her view on her family got so warped and delusional is beyond my understanding
@@levy9595 You know what, you articulated it better than I could. She definitely had to be delusional to think the way she did. I'm glad she snapped out of it cause she was definitely on her way to some serious consequences.
@Amagem81 yeah it's good for her she realized the error of her ways in time to correct it, but she needs to take a serious deep dive into why her thoughts about her husband and the effort she put into her marriage and family eroded in the first place. Based on this post, her husband seems like basically a perfect husband and father, so her twisted view of things suggests some deeply flawed issues with her entire way of thinking. She needs to address the core reasons as to why her perception got so twisted in the first place, or she runs the serious risk of falling right back into the same trap with time.
It's good to see she finally saw the error of her ways and started to improve good for her and her family. Tho that afair thing really pissed me off I'm glad she didn't do it
Yup! She has the perfect husband and father to their children. She will surely regret it for the rest of her life if she actually cheated on him before She finally realize that she has a Gem of a Husband.
Why do when women feel that their husbands don’t deserve them they almost immediately feel like cheating is going to be the right answer? Why don’t they first think about sitting down and talking first?
This is more of a why do PEOPLE do this. Men and women alike somehow turn to cheating when they feel their partners aren’t right for them. It’s foolishness. Just leave. No reason to step out 🤦🏽♀️
I think people do it because they are actually hurting. They feel like they are too good for their partner because they are feeling hurt that their partner isn’t doing enough for them, even tho they themselves are likely the one not doing enough as seen in this story, and instead of talking about it and being open and vulnerable they just want to either hurt their partner or get that excitement without losing the stability and routine they already have with their partner. It’s very interesting from a psychological view on why cheating happens like that, but I’m glad she realized that she was the problem and actually worked on fixing it.
Every single time I listen to a Reddit story and it's about a relationship they always talk about the intimacy side and I get it's a big part of relationships but my guy I'm not listening to the story to hear how you get raw dawged 😭 8/10 story though extremely wholesome
It is a huge deal for healthy relationships, I know it is cringy to hear but for them or for any broken marriage getting intimate again is a really big step that shows everything or most is getting better. Don't think about it as just them having sex, getting intimate is far different.
Why starting an affair and cheating is normalised ? Tolerance and patience are rare nowadays. I have never got this much of narcissistic vibes from any other wife. Expectation- she is better than her husband and deserve to cheat which is justified because of her delusional attitude. Reality- the wife is good for family life. She doesn’t even deserve a husband let alone such a wonderful man. The husband deserves better.
@@zamirshair5054 yeah because children are the founts of all wisdom. Ask her husband, ffs you people on the internet acting like you know everything - he knew his worth the moment things began to get better and he is the one who decides whether or not the relationship persists, whether or not she is worth his continued support as a husband and the father of her children. If he believes she is good enough now that she's improved, then it is so. We are a bunch of outsiders looking in and your opinions, while you are allowed to have them, are not important to them and their life. Humble yourselves, my god.
The OP has finally see things in a different light and has decided to do the right thing and save her marriage and family life for the sake of her children, good to go for her.
It's so refreshing to see an emotionally absent partner realise their flaws. The ending warmed my heart. It's good to be aware of the fact that not all partners don't care at all and to know people can change
she realized her flaus and mistakes, took accountability and is trying to change, props to her for trying, most nowadays give up without trying, the quarantine was a blessing in disguise for their marrage
The husband is an amazing person for doing all that to support his family. As for her... she started off terrible, but I'm glad she realized it and changed for the better. I wish them the best
insane character development. good for her for actually changing and see her faults. since theres people who see they're at fault but instead of improving or doing something to commend for that, they would push it into others instead. W wife for the development (L for thinking about cheating tho)
@@ThatOneBowlOfSoup You're right. It's not. But that kind of person realizing that's what they are, and working tirelessly to fix it and managing to mend their relationship is.
I guess it’s kinda wholesome, but idk how you could ever go back to someone who considered cheating on you. Thoughts of divorce on the table, sure that hurts but you can come back from that, but thoughts of betraying your partner. That says a lot about your character and I think the majority of people wouldn’t want to come back from that.
It’s so rare that people reflect on their actions and realize that they need to make a change without prompting. Very heartwarming to see someone deciding to work on their marriage instead of throw it away like many others have
This is straight up heartwarming! It sucks that she was originally thinking of cheating on her husband but I'm glad she realized her faults and worked on herself to become better.
I’m 1 minute in, and I’m aghast. How in the world did this woman think she was anything but useless? She had no job. Didn’t contribute anything to the family financially. Didn’t contribute to housekeeping or child raising. She did nothing but run around doing her own thing… and she thought her HUSBAND was useless? This is utter insanity.
That has probably been one of if not my favorite set of updates, I'm so glad her husband was quarantined and that she decided to turn their marriage around
The fact that u were able to reflect on everything and realize u are the problem took a lot of guts and I’m proud of u for that and actually trying to fix the situation before u made an unforgiving mistake.
Why has cheating become something so normalized? It shouldn't be the first thing you think of when unhappy in your relationship. This shit's fucking disgusting.
Agreed. I was cheated on before so it hits especially hard when a woman is like "uhm i think i'll cheat you're not good enough" because a lot of the time the excuse is "I was bored" like, okay?? How am I supposed to know you're bored of me and why the fuck can you even get bored of me didn't you mean it when you said you loved me???
@@BlazingMoth28 exactly what should be done. If you and them both want to save it, you can then try and rekindle - but at least you're being fair to them, telling them the truth, even if there's no way back. It's not fair to rip someone's heart out like that
having an emotionally absent partner is so draining, i just got out of a relationship with a guy who i love and care about but can’t handle not being able to emotionally connect with him often and it caused a lot of problems in our relationship. we decided to take the summer off and reevaluate who we are as people and where we want to be in life and how to get there. although there is a lot of improvement that needs to be made, i want to think that we can do it.
I honestly thought she was the husband until I listened more to the story. I’m glad they worked it out. Parenting is the hardest and the main job a person has.
So you assumed it was a man because you saw one parent was neglectful and was a terrible partner? Even though in the title it says "wife" and "mother" you still went ahead and assumed it was the husband. That's incredible
guys ofc cheating is wrong, but she said she is korean. And in their culture is cheating normalized a lot.. So as bad as it sounds, it’s different from our point of view.
Its simply not realizing what you are doing wrong She needed a wake up call she was simply living in a world of her own not realizing what was really happening she’s not the first one that this happened to and she for sure won’t be the last At least she is part of the minority willing to try and make amends and fix the sinking boat
You’ll never get back those years of emotional detachment from your kids, I know because I was in a similar situation when I was a child as well. Good on you though, that you realized your mistakes and actually owned up to it instead of denying your own faults. Hope you’ll continue to be better as a partner and parent.
So your husband was basically a single parent raising them on his own while you did whatever you wanted? I'm glad you noticed you were wrong and tried to do something to change it.
What a good woman. Literally, realizing she was doing wrong before anyone told her, working to fix it without asking, suddenly developing empathy for her husband. This is what Men need Women to be. View us as humans with needs instead of a resource to exploit.
I absolutely love this story! My parents tree were amazing PARTNERS, and shared in the home and child responsibilities…it’s so nice to see this woman realizing that during the pandemic. 🥰❤️
This post is so refreshing. It always feels hopeless when a person specially a parent is fixed on their toxic ways. So nice to see someone who broke out of it and became a better person.
The millisecond you think “it’s affair time” is the same millisecond you really need to step back and take in the bigger picture. Self absorption is truly a killer of relationships. Cause you won’t acknowledge what they do when your so absorbed in it unless you watch them 24/7 and witness every deed they do, you will always undervalue what the people around you do, even then, they still say “well that’s easy” well then do it yourself?
People are so fixated on affair word that they willing through everything on trash can. Yes its wrong but wheb person is tired or blind of other person efforts they do get such thoughts. I really don't know why people think life is all fairy tale. There are point in life where you want to kill you're partner while at the same time you love them unconditionally. These thoughts are not coming from concious mind but more likely a idea from sub concious mind where we pile up everything and look for any way out to satisfy ourselves.
@@TheMantisLord50 yes but thought process doesn't work like that. The things we all speak comes from concious mind while such things doesn't. I am not justifying it but yes people come with such thoughts when they're literally disconnected in relationship. Affairs is one of the most common thought process among relationship where people really believe that having a attention from another person might able to help them out without loosing anything. People do find other's attractive while they're married doesn't mean they're bad or need to jump into divorce crap. We all have a thought that what if we rob bank and get rich instantly. Should we are jail time because we think about it? Ofcourse not unless you're not actively planning on that or execute that doesn't mean anything. It's okay understand why you get this thinking and work on it. Why so much noise?
I can’t get over how terrible of a human being this woman was before her epiphany, and I’m so happy for the husband to finally have his wife back. I do feel bad for the kids though. To be 11 years old with a neglectful mother who suddenly wants to be involved can be very confusing. Her kids will likely always prefer their father, and ultimately he deserves that. I just wish my own mother decided to put in effort. Sadly, she stayed like this woman. She divorced my father when my sister and I were babies and stayed just as horrendous as this woman was before the pandemic while my father is like this father. Definitely all hit home. It’s probably why I’m honestly really angry with that woman for being so awful and believing herself the victim for so long.
I love how you actually knew how you were struggling and successfully fixed it. Most people would be narcissistic and walk away, but at least you did the right thing.
Yep, Quarantine did the exact opposite to me and my ex, and she continued to treat me more and more like a child (While I was doing most of the cooking and cleaning, and paying all the bills) After 4 years of explaining I needed help around the house and to not talk so negatively about me to her friends, I finally ended it. It makes me sad but I know I could not have waited another 4 years before she caught on (If she ever did).
She didn't mention until almost the end that he works as a researcher, meaning he makes most of the money. She could have cheated on him, gotten full custody of the kids, and alimony and child support. And everyone would be telling her how stunning and brave she was right until her ex-husband eats a 9mm, which would prove he was always mentally unsound.
I feel this. My dad acts a lot like the mum in this video (before the realisation), and my elder brothers who grew up with stricter treatment sometimes don’t even leave the room in order to avoid him. I’ve spent more time with him so i get his stance a bit, but i also see everything my mum goes through and how much stress she has to deal with from him.
@@KysYujiPlsno she doesn’t. if it took him getting covid and her having to be an actual parent to realise all this, then she doesn’t deserve him. what would’ve happened if he never got covid?
Im happy she was able to step back and take accountability for her lack of putting in an effort. I feel sooo many people struggle with taking accountability and its such a necessary step in personal growth. Im happy she didnt just talk the talk, i hope she keeps it up! Communication is such an important thing, in every aspect of life. I wish them nothing but happiness :)
My husband and I, depressed and desperately in love, decided after the big tension of moving in, that thanking each other for every mutual task was far better for each other and just made everything easier to do. It's so, so easy to thank your partner for making food, doing the dishes, mowing the lawn, etc. As long as you notice.
I was frankly disgusted when you said you thought of starting an affair. as another commenter said, cheating is waaay to normalized. why the fuck did you even think about trying to break his heart and very possibly scar him instead of talking to him or just breaking up? this is under the situation he wasn't doing anything, keep in mind, which is not what happened. I am glad you stopped doing this stuff, but I also don't like how your main concern in the video was him divorcing you, not you being a terrible wife.
I dont think that was the main concern. It was the shock she felt at quarantine that proved how much of a good father her husband is, and overall a better parent. But through actual communication and mutual respect, they built a stronger marriage
@@Arricovit’s definitely a topic to converse about as a family But it is not an unforgivable offense merely thinking about something doesn’t make you a horrible person She turned her life around and fixed her problems
![[Full Story] I just realised that I’m a horrible mother and wife.](/img/logo.svg){kind=logo}
