FUNNIEST MOM TEXTS 

Spider: crawls on my bed Me: *stay out of my bed, spider* Spider: *confused screaming*

"I don't even like dudes" "you like dinner" 10/10 iconic

"I do not like dudes" "You like dinner" LMAO😭😭

“Stay out of my bed, spider.” Legit though, stay tf away from me-

#dankness Mum: I’m pregnant! Dad: Hi pregnant, I’m dad. Mum: No you’re not.

7:47 Lmao just look how many minutes it took her to realize 😂

Her: I bet he’s thinking about other girls... Him: *actually thinking about other girls* Her: Wait you weren’t supposed to do that #Dankness

Alarm Spider: "I fear no man... but, that thing..." *Stay out of my bed, spider.* "It scares me."

Daughter: dad i'm dead inside Dad: Hi dead inside i'm Dad Son: hi dad i'm son Dad: no you are not #Dankness

“stay out of my bed, spider” i actually don’t want to get jumpscared by a giant spider lmao

me: Clicks on this video my mom: "dO yOu eVeN kNoW wHo mAdE tHiS vIdEo?!"

Honestly, at this point, I'd rather deal with that spider then my alarm. Bring it on, Spider-Dude.

Mom:made of money WTF: well that’s fantastic Lol: lots of love

No one: Literally no one: That one kid who thinks he’s on mute: *REEEEEEEEEEEE-*

Stay out of my bed, spider. Literally every other insect: allow us to introduce ourselves!

I love these vids lol

#dankness Me: in my room* Mum: honey can you Come down please? Me: why? My mum: *silence * Me: for frick sake

nobody: me: “ *Stay out of my bed, spider!* “

Emily: Hi mom Mom: Nugget Emily Nugget Not Nugget Nugget ???? Emily: You're a wreck

*4:29* An old woman, * passed 11th grade * made a child * knows alot * probably 30-40 years old * _doesn't know difference between "your" and "you're"_

Spider: Crawls in bed me: Stay out of my bed spider the spider: understandable have a nice day

The lol lots of love one killed me I couldn’t stop laughing 😂

“Stay out of my bed, spider” I don’t believe this but I’m scared hehe

#dankness My cat: **has something in its mouth** Me: **chases it and takes it out after catching the damn cat** Cat: You took my only food. Now I'm gonna starve!

#Dankness Girl: hes probably thinking about another girl Him: Firefly is the opposite of a waterfall

Everyone: comments what they want to say Me: sTaY oUt oF mY BeD sPIDer!!!

#dankness Spider: "no comment?" Me: *Snores* Spider: * Walks on face and stares at victims eyes * :)

youtube: *9 comments* RU-vid: No, you can only see 1.

“Stay out of my bed spider”

Mom: come out Daughter: hold on, mom im gay Mom: no come out to the car Daughter: car, im gay #dankness

#dankness Me: asking my mom for money.🥺 Also me: remembers what mom means.... My mom: No you should be saving up! Me: but mom stands for made of money...😏

#dankness Her: hes probally thinking about other girls Him: donkey bonk rEpOsT cuz i need to be featured

"Stay out of my bed, spider" Like seriously. Stay in the container.

#dankness Me: "I will be in next video cause i type in #dankness " *3 minutes later* [Post video] "I did that comment for noting going am to delete my comment that i just did 3 minutes ago"

"Don't get in my bed, spider" Seriously tho...

Everyone:'Stay out of my bed spider' Me:'*spraying pesticides all over my room* I am safe for now'

for the 300 some people saying "stay out of my bed spider", you are all legends.

I am not saying “Stay out of my bed spider” oki have a great day

Stay out of my bed, spider. Seriously stay out you gigantic creepy thing. I have arachno freaking phobia.

#Dankness me: In a match of fortnite Mom: pause the game and come help Me: I can't it is a online game Mom: *gives a death stare* Me: oh sh*t

#dankest Mom: dinners ready Me:literally one step out of my room Mom: DINNER IS FRIKING READY ME: JESUS IM COMING MOM: HURRY UP YOUR FOODS GETTING COLD Me: walks in , moms still cooking and asks me to set the table

Okay you win "Stay out of my bed, spider" I hate myself...

4:44 Okay, the child is the best wingman/wingwoman ever.

#dankness Dogs: lets go out and play fetch! Cats: listen up, you’re going to scratch my chin then give me a belly rub. After that, you bugger of and leave me alone. Now hurry!

"stay out of my bed spider" seriously though I have arachnophobia

#dankness Me: in my room playing. My mom: Opens the door to take something, leaves without closing the door. Me: youre the next target.

Stay out my bed spider, ps i just watched a scary movie so I’m not taking chances

Mom: we’re not getting anymore pets! Also mom: *we have eleven pets*

#dankness Me: clicks video* Mom: Is ThAt YoUr FrIeNd, Hi LaRa!

#dankness Me: No one: Not even an ant: My dog: BOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW

11:08 Me: ahhhh!!!!!!!!!! Ok ok *breathe* "StAy OuT oF mY bEd,SpIdEr" LOL

I like how he named his mom "birth giver"

#dankness When your too early and you dont know what to write Me: my goals are beyond my understanding

#dankness Parents: happy birthday jimmy Jimmy: thanks for the ps5 Parents: now your grounded because kids these days are addicted to gaming

"Stay out of my bed, spider" I hate spiders

1:57 I Think That's My Mom D:

2:04 when you are that friend that only cares about the food:

"Stay out my bed, spider" AHH

#dankness Me: watches these videos Also me: shows to my mom My mom: LOL I’m so Srry Me: why are u happy and saying sorry Mom: o I thought LOL meant lots of love LMAO

Spider:sees bed me: stay the hell out of my bed, spider spider:*rubbs hands togethor*

Am I the only one who is annoyed that the second mom looks through her son's messages with his girlfriend??

"STAY OUT OF MY BED SPIDER." seriously, stay away from me.

"stay out of my bed spider" just in case

i just love it when *vault boy* sticks his head out of walls and grants me memes

Stay out of my bed spider - Spider comes anyway - * My life is a lie .-

#dankness When your mom smokes in school: Yeh keep going mom Yes yes yes! **she is too dangerous to be kept alive**

Girl at Groceries Store: Hi Hows Your Day Been? Me: Great Thanks fo... Her: Sorry I have the BOYFRIEND!!! #Dankness

Me: Stay out of my bed spider! Spider: You know the rules and so do I

Stay out of my bed, spider HES STILL HERE HELPPPP

Me : guys we dont have toilet paper Guys : avengers rasemble #dankness

Stay out of my bed spider * every spider instantly getting notified not to come in my bed *

No one is saying: Stay out of my bed, Spider

#dankness When somebody brings up aliens Me: focused hard My friend: did you know aliens poop out of their mouths? Also me: bro did you just say aliens poop out of their mouths My teacher: gives the class 3 pages to prove aliens are real and prove how they defecate The class: -_-

“Stay outta my bed spider” Nah I ain’t risking that shi

Me:waking up with sleep paralysis My mom:DO THE DISHES OR I’ll GRAB THE BELT Me:O_O #DANKNESS

Me: stay out of my bed spider The spider: hell no

Spider: **comes on my bed to wake me up** Me: **comments "Stay out of my bed, spider"** Spider: **confused screaming**

#DANKNESS Me: Wassup Mom Stupid Mom: Wait its supper time already? Me: uhmm no.. its a greeting Stupid Mom: They Changed Supper to Greeting? wow... I never knew Me: NO... mom I was just saying hello Stupid Mom: WAIT SUPPER ISNT GREETING EITHER!!! Me: is this why im adopted??

#Dankness Dude: what do u wanna do His girlfriend: LMAO Dude: Ha ha ha? His girlfriend: NO, lmao means lets mate all out Dude: remember to use ur condemns Girlfriend: WHO THE F R U Dude: ur mom Girlfriend: 00

#DANKNESS Mom: I wonder why she is laughing. My mind: Technically there are more fingers then humans.

#dankness Mom: clean up your room Me: How about u pick up your jokes, Cuz there God awful Mom: 0-0

2:09 lol look at the internet name

spider: starts to wake me up me: stay out of my bed, spider. you shall feel the power of my words forever and must never return spider: leaves

When you pour yourself a bowl of cereal then look in the fridge and there’s no milk #dankness

#dankness Me:walking to my house Someone running from the cops Me: whats wrong Other guy:wut Other guy got tag by cops Other guy :😑😑

Spider: Crawls on my bed Me: Stay out of my bed, spider Spider: Understandable, have a great day

Me: turns off the light because it's to bright People in the lighthouse: *hol up* #dankness

friend: hey wuts up me: nothing much friend: i got a bf!! me: i heard enough already i don't care

Alarm Spider: *You Can’t Defeat Me* Me: *I Know, But He Can* Stay Out of My Bed, Spider: *HELLO THERE*

Ι αм נυѕт ¢σммєηтιηﻭ тσ ρяσνє ι ωαѕ нєяє.

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#dankess mom:you are grounded me: i didn’t do anything... mom: just please be grounded for me me: ok.

#dankness Dad:'buys m&m's' Me:'sneaks skittles In the cart' Dad:'buys them thinking he put them there'

Stay out my bed. Spider: crawls away thinking damn not gonna have fun scaring the deal of her oh well the next victim to go.

#dankness Me:Dancing My mom:boi you're gonna get belted Also me:why? My mom:cuz you're dancing My mom:memes

Stay out of my bed spider Me:*breathes…”I am safe”*

That stay out of my bed spider thing is really uncool, but "stay out of my bed spider".

Everyone : stay out of my bed, spider! Me who wants a hug: B,)

Me: Stay out of my bed spider!!! Spider: Why are you yelling

stay out of my bed, spider. The last thing I need before a feedback lecture on my dissertation which I'm completely unprepared for