#dankness Me: *hits sibling too hard* My sibling: *starts crying frantically* Me: *hides somewhere where my mom can't find me so she doesn't whip my ass*
#dankness Bird cop: we found two victims, bludgeoned to death Bird detective: any murder weapon found? Bird cop: just one stone. Bird detective: *Lowers Shades* my god.
#dankness No one: The teacher when she tells the orphan shes gonna tell his parents: We've been tricked, we've been back stabbed, we've been quite possibly bamboozled!
I love how mostly the jokes were said by the user of the phone, so it probably goes like User: *Flirts with intense humour* User: *Finish flirting* User: .....Damn I am so funny *cap screen* User: *shares* look guys I am so funny lmao
@@nalamuhammad The common versions i heard is that they want the guy to be visibly taller than they are when they're in heels and that they prefer kissing up. My theory is that they're less in the relationship for the person, but for bragging rights and having their friends (and strangers on social media) envy them.
@@nalamuhammad I guess it's somewhat understandable in the beginning of a relationship, but later on would be absurd in my opinion. Im about 6ft (which is slighly below average where i'm from), my gf is considerably taller than me when wearing heels. It's no deal breaker for her, but im sure she would've preferred me being at equal height or taller when she wears em.
#Dankness Mom: what are u watching? Me: An cartoon *Mom leaves* Me: Good thing she does not know what anime is Mom: I was standing in front of the dor the whole time, what is that "Anime" that you speak of Me: SHIT
#dankness Me: Is literally doing extra math on my own when my dad walks by and complements me My dad one day later: WHY DONT I EVER SEE YOU DOING EXTRA MATH Me: i dont want to die, but sometimes I wish I had never been born at all
#dankness Girl: Will you punch your friend for hundred dollar "No, i love my friend" Boy: Will you burn your friend alive for 5 dollar *equip flamethrower *
#dankness *Me and my friends playing uno* *My friend putting down a reverse card and said you gay* *Me puts down reverse card and said no u* *My friends puts down reverse card and said no u* *Me puts down reverse card and said no u* *My friend puts down another reverse card and said no u* My other friend: you two are gayy *Me puts +4 card and said no u*
#dankness Me: *comments something to try to be featured comment* Also me: *excited for next featured comment* Next featured comment: *not me* Me: *cry's cuz I'm basically invisible to people*
#DANKNESS Me waking up on Christmas Day: 😄 Seeing Santa's body hanging out of the chimney: 😭 Realising that I was adopted and I don't live with my real parents: 😈
#Dankness Me: *Gets home from school* "Hi Everyone!" My Mom: "Oh my gosh sweetie how was your day do you have any new projects was anyone mean to you how are your friends what homework do you have what did you have for lunch?" Me: "Woah, woah, mom CHILL all I said was hi!"
#Dankness My teacher in online class: Did everyone do their homework? Me: Perhaps... All me class: Ooooohh! My teacher: Since you like memes so much, I will make your social status as a meme.
6:02 she can't reduce the candle budget. You need lots of candles to activate the magic circle to summon the devil. Next thing you know you'll be telling her to stop stealing the souls of the innocent.
The other lunch tables:*is* *super* *loud* Lunch ladies:who gives a duck My table:*says* *nothing* {\__/} ( • . •) want this burrito? / >🌯 SHUT UP FIRST #dankness Edit:thanks oh great taco cat
*when you get tacos from your grandma so they're already great but you still wanna comment the thing because it was super cute* THANK YOU OH GREAT TACO CAT 😂
