I don't have to forgive C.B. because I'm not the person he wronged and abused, but Im not going to ignore red flags and violent past. A lot of it toxic black male protectionism , delusional value stardom and not holding our men to accountable for mistreatment or weaponuzed incompentence. Older gens need fess up about devaluing women, tolerating abuse, and glorifying men for their "potential".
Same here. I decided about 5 years ago that my husband was the last man I marry or live with. Have actively been telling the youngins to get their education and don't worry bout these xys for years
Kelly Rowland and Jill scott caping for this colorist man is just sad. I can't enjoy listening to jill's songs anymore. I tried separating the art from the artist, but it's much harder to do with artists that are supposed to be uplifting or conscious, than with artists that just make un-deep bops.
That's what is so disturbing. Her music is about uplift but her lyrics typify black men being at the forefront. I have had a blind spot to her politics but I can't overlook it anymore.
@@TheOriginalScorpioBelle we can agree to that. We walk and chew gum at the same time around these parts. I wanted to address *my* generation and hold my own feet to the flame
Gen X will be the most die alone generation! Look at the upside of being a Gen X lady you can always hook up with another Gen X lady and get yourself into a even bigger domestic violence situation.
I'm a Gen-X and I have ZERO tolerant for guys like Beat 'em down Chris Brown. He's been problematic from day one. And yes, would love to see your Jill Scott's song analysis.
I was so disappointed with India because where was the energy for the abusers, misogynists and colorists on the stage the night before Meg and Janelle performed???
The North remembers 😂. 7:31 This is insightful, I've always wanted to understand what each generation has been through. There's so much to learn from each other, I hope we get more stories.
Many Gen X Black women, have navigated a complex web of systemic injustices and societal pressures. Some of us have actively engaged in therapeutic practices and undertaken the arduous journey of shadow work, confronting the deeply ingrained traumas inherited from intersecting forms of oppression. Within this landscape, numerous Black women have found themselves ensnared in what can be described as a "school to sex work pipeline" or trapped within transactional relationships characterized by power imbalances. Moreover, the pervasive stereotype of the "masculine" Black woman has often led to an internalization of such narratives, resulting in a phenomenon where some of us have over-identified with Black men to the extent of losing sight of our own distinct identities. Our era of community activism, exemplified by our participation in marches such as those following the Rodney King incident, has been undeniably impactful. However, it is critical to recognize that while we marched, Black women continued to endure daily violence, often overlooked and sidelined in mainstream narratives. The notion of "low self-esteem" among Black women must be interrogated as a social construct perpetuated by intersecting systems of oppression. Many of us have emerged resilient from households fractured by the devastating effects of the crack epidemic, navigating circumstances where survival often demanded working multiple jobs from a young age to put ourselves through school. In light of these realities, it is heartening to witness a growing movement within our generation to critically examine what constitutes "Black culture" and to discern how our collective trauma responses shape our identities and interactions. Indeed, the phenomenon of Black heterosexism can be understood as a manifestation of our collective trauma in the face of pervasive anti-Black terrorism on a global scale. (The pick me gestures by fat women are very hard to surrender, because this may be the only time you receive validation of your gender performance. My personal experience and observation. )It's my firm belief that black heterosexism manifests as a coping mechanism in response to the systemic anti-black violence perpetuated globally. In conclusion, I express gratitude for your insightful commentary, which underscores the urgent need for continued dialogue and introspection within our community as we strive towards healing and liberation. Wow, I had a lot to say. Thank you .
I'm a millennial and wholeheartedly agree. Jill has always given strong pick me vibes. And that Niecy Nash post is hella cringe and a sad way of thinking. Her mindset needs a revamp asap. I am not a fan of rappers and anything putting down black women. Period.
Girllll I did not see this from Jilly from Philly. Seee I do enjoy Chris Brown’s music. But the thing is he hasn’t even healed and has reportedly done more abusive acts since Rihanna. I wasn’t there, just what I’ve heard. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Monique and the bonnets. Listen I’m going to wear my bonnet. That video made me so aggravated. And I’m a millennial raised by boomers. I’m definitely f this job whenever it no longer serves me. The first time I did that my parents did not want me to proceed. This was a great video topic.
Thank you, friend! And yes millennials have that f this job energy...damn a two week notice.I love that for yall. I've learned so much from people younger than me. We have to look everywhere for education and enlightenment. Unfortunately sometimes our elders steer us wrong. It's okay to say that!
I agree with all you put forth except the bonnet bit, respectfully. As a Millennial myself ('94), I do not understand why we can't be fed critiques aimed at helping us take pride and/or put care in(to) ourselves. It really makes no sense that they were upset with Mo'Nique for saying that because I, as a Black transgender woman, completely agree, and I've had the same perspective. If you wear things that are meant for the bedroom outdoors, you can expect people to voice their opinions. There's a difference between anti-Blackness & propriety. Just as much as I don't appreciate people who sag their pants because your underwear is not supposed to be seen in public, I don't appreciate people sporting other bedroom wear or undergarments. Nevertheless, I respect people's positions. I just have my own opinion about it, just like Mo'Nique. The people most angry with her are people who were the most affected by her commentary because, at the end of the day, it makes no sense to be upset with someone because they told you the right thing. But we younger generations are so accustomed to making some of the changes we have made recently that we feel everything should be catered to us, even to our detriment. Sometimes, when you win too often, you grow accustomed to it and believe you could never be wrong. Everyone who attacked that woman is absolutely wrong because just as you would not expect someone to take you seriously if you walked into work with curlers in your hair, you shouldn't expect that with a bonnet.
This whole conversation has given me life. It’s also made me incredibly sad because I’ve been a fan of all of the women mentioned. But at the end of the day, we need to choose ourselves. ✊🏾 Thank you for your astute commentary. It gives me hope for the future.
12:34 Exactly, what people need to understand about CB is. Once your negative actions outweigh your talents that is what will be discussed. I don’t give af about how good he can do anything. He beats women. Nothing else for me to talk about after that fact.
All I can say is that old habits and generational programming die hard, plus folks hate to hear anything disparaging about who they stan. But some uncomfortable conversations need to be had, heard, AND understand, because hard truths need to be accepted. I 100% agree with your commentary, and I also wish that celebs would learn how to hursh...just...hursh!
Yep. She could've easily kept her thoughts in the drafts or at least read the room. Blk women are tired of being laid out at the altar for the sake up protecting blk men. When are we going to be protected. Just my two pennies. Love you boo.
Excellent video on this topic - a topic I was unaware of until now: Chris Brown & Jill Scott. You tapped into something that was really deep when it comes to us, Gen X Black Women. I think you should definitely continue expanding this conversation. I remember in the 90s self-help books were extremely huge, and contemporary Black authors were the hot thing because everyone learned how to desktop publish! It was the books about how a Black woman could catch a husband written by Black women and men that was so brainwashing us into pick-mes! Especially the ones written by Christian Black women! I’ve had to unlearn so much of that crap! And do you know I’ve still haven’t gotten married!!!
See! you just unlocked a core memory and why the Xtian church has done a number on us. The bible teaches blk women to self sacrifice to lift up m$n who don't deserve it in many cases. The amount of cheating, ab*sive male ministers, preachers, religious leaders is astounding. But we are taught to grin and bear it..because in the words of my god fearing female sunday school teacher "it's better to marry than to burn..." smh
This is where I have my concerns with other women and the collective of how we engage with one another as women in different age groups. We were all brought up with different mindsets, and instead of castigating Jill Scott or India Arie we need to look at those women for who they are individually, as well as collectively. With all of these new "terminologies" it's concerning to me that even if we might disagree with someone's opinion, I see a mean girl attitude when addressing other women who think differently than the norm. This is more than just what Chris Brown did, but it's what we do to one another as Black women as a collective. I am not excusing Chris Brown's behavior ,yet at the same time it is concerning to me that other Black women are upset with another black woman about her thoughts and opinions. When do we allow other Black women to be free and make their own choices and decisions. Can we please stop calling other women pick-mesha and being mean to each other. There is nothing wrong with black women encouraging, uplifting and admonishing one another. You can be a black woman who's in love, married, single by choice, or a Black woman learning about herself. Let's give each other the freedom to be who we are, change and grow in our own ways, and not be so cruel to one another. Trauma is not the only thing we can focus on, we also have hope ,Joy, resilience and a future that we can shape and mold if we truly want to.
Once again, we are more outraged at a black woman than the person who did the acts, while Chris is getting praised for his diss track. we are mad at Jill . The black man always gets a pass while the black woman takes the fall even when the black man is the discussion
Thank you for this comment. I am not mad at Jill...maybe disappointed is the better descriptor. As I said plenty of times in my video I will NEVER throw her out with the bath water. I just want to highlight where it came to be we cover for m#n and their ab*sive tendencies at our own detriment.
as a gen x black woman r kelly MUSIC not the person fan i would never ever ever cape for r kelly in public or play his music around anyone else unless they bring it up first! chris brown is like r kelly to people! everybody cant take him and his fans cant make people like him! stalking karrueche is triggering to people even if you chalk the rihanna beating to age
Karrueche tried to stay with Chris Brown but Rihanna kept sleeping with him then the fans where saying oh after riri the other girls can't compete they body shamed her and everything he broke her heart when that first baby popped up thats when she cheated on him with quavo
I heard he kicked her down stairs and bw still support him.... bw at his shows ain't no all Gen z. Gen z and millennials support him buh blame Gen x🤔😒.😢😢
Gen X’er here and yes it is bad but Baby Boomers are WORSE! My mom won’t speak up and gives her all to NO ONE that deserves it and SUFFERS tremendously. TRAUMA to a whole mother level.
Caping for millennials and Gen Z IS in fact another example of pick me behavior. Millennials are perked up on Botox and antidepressants and Gen Z is loosing our minds.
Thank you for that astute clarification. But I was throwing her into the convo mainly because she seems to think CB is important enough to big up. I wonder did he cape for her over own s*xual abuse and workplace abuse allegations.
I think Gen X are far worse, they are so brainwashed its unbelievable. Boomers were worse than them, the amount of silent suffering is wild. I think every generation of black women gets better. There are still some pick mes in each generation but gen z is a breath of fresh air
I ❤ Jill's music, but she's always been a Pickmeisha. Bragging about how she can sing while still keeping her clothes on 🙄 I don't ❤ celebrities, I ❤ their art. Social media has taught us we have to be able to separate the two OR throw them both out ✌
o5:24mins. - I am so glad you spoke to this because it is absolutely ridiculous that every 2sec.s, everyone wants to compare someone to Michael Jackson like they don't hate and discredit him every chance they get. The same people who can't stand Michael Jackson's decomposed guts are the same ones who are incessantly looking for his replacement-his successor. So, they compare Chris Brown and, more recently, the WKND to the likes of the greatest pop star the World has ever known. Neither one of them are able to create the intricate and well-rounded art that Michael produced just vocally. There are plenty of imitators who will take his techniques and innovations and re-apply them to their own craft. But who is inventing new ways of creating music that will influence people for decades? Who is creating music videos that people are still watching just as vigorously ten years later as they were the day they premiered? Who is literally unable to go anywhere whatsoever because they are overwhelmingly loved by everyone from the average infatuated layman to the majority of Hollywood?
Sis, as a fellow Gen Xer, I'm going to have to disagree to a degree. This is a more nuanced conversation than "pick me". That's not our generation.. What I know is that we grew up in an era when Black men were under attack. We were told constantly that Black men were destined for two things: Death or jail. It was us (Black folks) against the world and we were fiercely protective. We grew up with OJ, Central Park 5, Yusef Hawkins and the list goes on. Some of us didn't grow out of it or past it. WE still see "us against the world". And similarly for Black men, I've only known Black men to love and protect so it's difficult for me to wrap my head around men who don't-- I have to pause and think about it before I say anything because my experience isn't the world's experience. I know tat growing up in the 90s' all we had/did was protect our own and I think a lot of us just kept carrying that even when it may not apply, I give grace to those of us who are learning these lessons in real time. It's not about being picked, it's about growing up with our people being picked on. Things have changed, thank god, but we have to have some space for us to keep learning and growing and not just throwing each other away.
Pick me is very much in our DNA for all the reasons you espouse. But the difference is we didn't pick ourselves, instead we empathized more with the plight of the blk man. It's the age old argument of do we put our race above our gender. We sit at the intersection of equally being blk women as much as being black. And as black women we are under attack much the same way we see in society -- for every OJ, Central Park Five etc, we tend to forget LaTasha Harlins, Sandra Bland, The 4 girls from the Birmingham Bombing, etc. And your last sentence is sticking withe me...I refuse to throw Jill away. I just don't identify with her male centering ways.
I understand. My point is that it didn't come from nowhere. It is engrained in us based on what we were immersed in. We didn't get the same in return and that's why Erykah and Jill and Taraji and who knows who else think like that. They're not doing it out of malace. Much of the discourse centers on men instead of looking at women and where we come from. Jill spoke about her own abuse, and it felt like Stockholm Syndrome. That's the conversation, but no one is having it. We were raised in a time that didn't allow it, and, as I said, many of us didn't grow out of it or are slow to grow out of it. She's learned to forgive her abuser and she thinks that's healing--- we all know it's not but she needs to get there. She's not signing any laws behind this. She's miseducated. We all were until we got educated. She deserves grace, education, and time, not ridicule. @@LatriceKelly
@@Basseyworld I think we are addressing the Stockholm Sydrome and how it came to be that we defend the men who harm and abuse. Portia Noir's video that I included a snippet of touched on that trauma that so many women are just trying to survive under and find healing. And even if our good sis is not signing laws, we still have to push back on these pervasive sexist and misogynistic attitudes. We bring that mess to the forefront in the blk home, churches, communities, schools and any place we happen to occupy. When women parrot those strange talking points to cape for abusers, it makes it that much harder to believe women who are abused or SA'd. Jill is not a girl's girl, I am afraid...
It’s weird to make a whole critique of an individual’s opinion or preference. That’s what it is, AN OPINION. What is preferred, that she keep her opinion to herself because they don’t align with yours? Weird. This video is well done, just seems like a gross waste of misdirected energy.
@@LatriceKelly well, it’s interesting u mention that. I actually agree that the climate of society has plummeted on a massive scale because of how eager people are to assert their options onto other people. The whole “right vs wrong” debacle. This covers many things. Racism, sexual preferences, trans rights, etc. And now, it appears, even in celebrity gossip. I will concur, this practice is not at all exclusive to just what we are talking about here with Jill and her preference to support Chris. But, to me, that doesn’t make it any less weird.
So what we not gone do is play the “whatta-bout-ism” game over here. No one is excusing v iolence in any of its forms. It’s giving well YT men get away with XYZ so why can’t the blk man. Miss me with it ✌🏾
Jill Scott said a person can be talented and still be shitty, she was not caping for this man. Also she was not wrong about the women knowing the type of man he is before they get with him.
She washed, dryed, ironed and folded the cape as well. There was zero need to defend what is essentially a defenseless person. He continues to get into brawls, fights, and beefs. But women need to be admonished...? smh
@lolabigcups7121 and I’m good with that. As I said you can enjoy the music or the art. But I’m drawing a line at defending the person who has harmed and continues to harm others. It’s RKelly all over again.
Jill can have an opinion and not be a Pick Me, she doesn't need to be Picked. She's just as famous as him. Yall just want to say something because its Chris Brown.
@LatriceKelly Was l talking to you personally? No, l said yall meaning the internet! Latrice l can have opinion too that doesn't align with yours And l watched it. But l won't anymore because you can't handle dialog. Have a nice life. Won't be revisiting your channel again! ✊🏽#jillscott
Girl stop. 1 woman's opinion does not define an entire generation. Secondly, Jill never defended CB's abusive behavior nor did she tell people to support him. She said he was talented, which is true. Contrary to popular belief someone can be both talented and abusive at the same time. Secondly, she advised women who know his history to stay away from him, which is actually pretty darn good advice. How you twisted that to mean she threw women under the bus is beyond me. And NO, Jill did not say she looked past her stepfather's abuse and that what he did was ok. You literally have her words on screen and it CLEARLY doesn't say that. If you don't agree with her that's fine, but don't put words in her mouth in an attempt to make it sound worse than it is for clicks & likes. SMH 🙄🙄🙄
Nah. When you stop making mistakes, you can throw stones. Chris Brown is a human who made mistakes and continues to make mistakes, just like every other human. He was convicted and did his time. We should walk around with mirrors. Opinions are opinions, and this is mine. The generation debates are also just another avenue to divide us.
lol you mean he made a "mistake", did time, and continued to do different and similar variations of the same "mistake" and also surround himself with people who do the same ish.
4 месяца назад
@@Zzz-ff1np that part
4 месяца назад
It's the way yall call intentional abuse, threats, kidnapping, drugs, colorism and stalking "mistakes". Yall are weird af
A mistake is putting too much salt in the casserole or having a fender bender. He keeps putting his hands on women (and men) and ending up with probation or minor jail time. If it was you or your moms would you be as quick to excuse the “mistake”
Perception is reality and I respect other people's opinions. I just recognize growth in people, albeit whatever the degree. No person is "all bad" and we all need grace and forgiveness at some point in our lives. There's a king in the Bible who did so much for the kingdom all throughout his life, accolades galore. Towards the end of his life he got leprosy. When he died, he was called, "leper." They forgot every good thing he did and focused on the negative as his legacy. To close out, I admire your courage to give provocative content and hear other people out even if we don't agree. Good luck to your channel fellow Queen.
