Yes, I saw two emotions on my recent trip to Germany: Gloom and irritation. No smiles. No laughter. I have been told that it depends on what part of Germany you may be visiting. I've heard that southern Germany is a happier place.
@@Shankar-Bhaskar That's the difference to Northern Germany. In the North no emotions are evoked at all. It's seen as improper in Germany to show emotions in public, and especially at work. You address your co-workers not as Peter and Mary, but as Herr Lehmann and Frau Krawinkel.
My dad is German so we usually go down on holidays to meet family ...one time my shoe laces were undone and a man stopped us on the street to do up my lace so I wouldn't fall over ....idk I have always found Germans really kind and polite!
I got in a lot of trouble when spending an exchange year in the US (I am from Germany). I had a lot of habits - some cultural, some personal - that annoyed my guest family, but they never called me out on it. I fully expected them to, sind I did the same (yep, that was lovely experience for them : X ). I tried to be considerate, but some things simply did not cross my mind (the sign of a closed door meant to them: I have no interest in talking to you, i want solitude, i have secrets) while I grew up learning to close doors behind me to save on heating and energy. Same with opening windows, which was an energy burner to my US host family, since they had air condition, which i had no clue of how it worked. But many more things. While trying to be polite, I much later realized, where I could have been better. I was also too young/inexperienced to get all of that on my own or pick up on subtle hints. This is something, somebody really should have told me before: Ask! Show that it is really ok for others to criticize you. I am a guest in their culture and the indirectness was something i really wasn't prepared for and later came to hate as "behind the back"-ness when sometimes people that were very unknown to me came to have a word on something quite personal with me, that my guest family did not dare to talk to me directly about. "But you must know, how upsetting this could be for somebody who cares about you." ... church is not a big deal in my area and I once declared that I only wanted to go to church once not 3 times the week and felt super generous about this. But with this wish I had declared war on my guest family without knowing it. To close that: I later changed families and that new family was way more understanding, inclusive and had also indirect but soft ways of showing me, how things were done in their home. Amazing people. And the first family was of course generous, too in taking in a foreigner! (and leaving that family was only in part due to all that impolite stuff i did)
It's quite eye-opening to watch this as a British person and realise just how ridiculous we are about keeping other people happy; saying and acting as we're expected to rather than how we really feel. We're always made out to be apologetic idiots and we really are (what I say: Ooops, sorry / what I mean: Why are you walking into me, you ruddy idiot?!) but we're also liars (what I say: Your new rug is very striking, a real statement piece / what I mean: It is truly the most hideous thing I have ever seen) and actors (what I say: A raise? OMG thank you!!! / what I mean: About bloody time). I definitely wish British people were more honest. The worst is when people say "I love you" as a reflex cos it's 'expected'...although when shop assistants do that to customers it's hilarious ;)
+Heggie42 So true but from my personal experience - I wouldn't say that German people are such honest and genuine in every respect. Despite of being direct lots of them is fake in different way than for example - British people. However, any nation is perfect and the most important is individualism. And the most important thing - don't judge anyone just through "social courtesy" till you don't know this person well.
+Joanna Mycka Very true. There are all types of people everywhere and generalisations are always kind of pointless; as a single mum I get a fair bit of that myself with all the stereotypes and assumptions. That said, I am the stereotypically British person who will apologise to a lamppost if I walk into it :(
You are very honest in a kind of german way, if you don`t mind me saying so, after all I`m german. Seriously, I like the general British answer to the question:" how are you?", because I don`t want to hear no page-long Disease Report.;-)
Heggitha,everywere you will find nice people and shitty people.It is the way you act.I live in Germany for 2 years and the way the people are it is the opposite as from my country.I am used to happy faces,to say hello to most of the people,to live in a nice community.In here they are cold and hard to go through the layers.It is the first time in my life when it is hard to make friends.I have friends from other cultures,but not Germans.But what I do is I always smile and talk nice.And most of the people will relax.I say thank you to the bus driver then he waves when I leave,I make jokes at the shop...At work I have a wonderful woman that treats me like her daughter and a woman that it is bullying me because I don't speak German language correctly.I feel like in kindergarden.My parents worked shortly in England and a lady from the shop said to my dad:Hey love,how it is your day?And my dad just blocked. :)))) But then he saw that it is a normal thing there.We are not so open with '' I love'' you thing. I think it is ok to lie sometimes,or to avoid the truth in some situations.It is better...Like at work like you said.It is just the society that makes it this way.Have a good night!
I was in Germany last week and, although the landscape is beautiful, I couldn’t find one single charming person. I mean, I get they have their culture and their reasons, but that’s just not my cup of tea; I don’t think I’ll come back ever again.
Canadian married to a german here and I do see a difference in general. I would not say germans are rude because really none of ours friends here are BUT I do notice most of the time people not caring when they bump into you, cutting you off on the street like you don‘t exist, not holding doors when you‘re right there or feeling someone breath on your neck when you wait in line. No bubble or personal space here 😅 but I‘m surrounded by awesome germans, helpful, funny, caring.. :)
Yes, that’s correct. On the other side, I would think that something is very odd if someone would hold the door for me. I would think that the other person has either a sexual interest in me or that I already look that old that the other person needs to help me. Because we are not used to that others care for us. The caring for others ends at the very moment if you leave your own home. That’s what we Germans are. I remember the day when I entered S-Bahn Berlin and if someone placed his very dirty bike in a way so that it leaned against my clean pants and so that I could not leave the train without complaining first. LOL 😁👍
@@CGphotoart It is known that Germans in general often do not show a lot of emotions especially in puplic to others around. It depends on region and individual of course. But as with other stereotypes there is a grain of truth in it. I for my part know that not all Germans are defind by a stereotype, but some people definitely fit in pretty well.
well, of course they have. But it is regarded as impolite and effeminate to divulge how you feel to others. They go for laughing as well as for crying down the basement.
They are reserved and, yes, COLD! They will never hug or kiss you intensively and tell you that you are a good person and that they like to be in your presence because you are important for them etc etc etc They do not connect the matter to the heart by no fucking means. They bring it to ideas or objective speculations and start to gossip about. They are just trying to strive to their making-progress operation modus and careers while the emotions and sentimental matter are just abandoned and not priorized. Truth fucking spoken.
when I went for the first time to a veggie market in London the lady asked me:"anything else,LUV?" I was really shocked, was I really that pissed last night, so that I couldn`t remember her at all?
I wouldn't say that germans in general hold back emotions. i'd say they express them differently. everyone who ever heard Bach, Beethoven or Händel would never ever think, that germans are not emotional...
I don't see Germans as being rude or cold, you just get right to the point. I do also feel that it is sometimes harder for someone to be friendly in a language that is not his own, and hence look a bit stiff. I was in Germany last week (had an amazing time btw, the Kölner Dom is breathtakingly beautiful) and, after going through the security checks before boarding on to my flight back home, I decided to grab something to eat, so I queued up as one normally does. This English woman was in front of me and I could see that although the clerk/cashier had been quite polite it wasn't the level of politeness she was expecting, no chit chat straight to talking the order and delivering the food... I swear to god the moment I said Hallo ..... his eyes lit up and I must say the level of politeness and friendliness he showed me was nowhere near the one he showed her, we are all just more comfortable in our own skin and, in order to be able to truly understand someone, we have to let them be who they are and most of the time that also means letting them express themselves in their own language.
As a B1 speaker of German and an A0 speaker of every other foreign language, it's impossible to express myself well when my entire focus is on thinking for 10 seconds just to get one word that I can't think of let alone the rest of the sentence. I just can't push into B2 when I try.
True for your culture. As for me? If I'm polite? It's NOT about being fake or lying, that's just how some of us were raised. An I see nothing wrong with being polite. So while we should never be polite going to your country. Fine. But just don't ever come here, and than get mad at Americans for being polite. It's not about being fake ( at least not for me ) I was just brought up to have manners and not be an asshole to someone for no reason. I'm polite until you give me a reason NOT to be. Don't assume that just because someone in a foreign country says hello or waves, means they are being deceitful or fake or up to no good.
I'm from Latin America and don't think I would have a problem fitting in German society. In my country I'm too straightforward and blunt compared to most people (and many dislike me for that reason). I just hate beating around the bushes and have no problem to say / hear no as an answer. Many Latins are simply terrified to say no.
I was just in Munich for couple of days during the Oktoberfest and I met some very friendly Germans. They were all smilesand totally opposite from being rude. I also stayed with a German couple who at the beginning seemed too serious and didn’t put out a friendly vibe, but they became more open and genuinely nice after they get to know you.
you nailedt it (americans throw "I love you" around). I say "Ich liebe dich" but really only to my romantic lover. I am shocked and find it akward when my american goddaughter who I see twice a year tells me "I love you" on the phone.
@@readisgooddewaterkant7890 I am afraid if you say "I love you" to people you do not love, then you are fake! btw: it is "Ich liebe Dich" and not "Ich liebe Sie"... I only can think of very rare occasions where you love someone who you adress in the formal style. I do not know ANY German who says "Ich liebe Dich" to his brother.. we have the same feelings for our siblings as you but we have a different word for this feeling. "Ich liebe Dich" is only reserved for the romantic part...and for special moments..
I'm American but I've been to Germany twice a year for my whole life, and I've found that when you actually know Germans personally, they are fantastic people. HOWEVER, there can be some rude moments and negative micro-interactions in public. In America it is extremely rude to stare, but some germans will stare or glare angrily at you as if they're trying to tell you that you're a piece of shit with their eyes. Especially nicely dressed women, they can look like absolute cunts to strangers in public, and leave you feeling shitty for the next 5 to 10 minutes. Even though it shouldn't, it does make me feel bad for a short time.
I'm American and live on an American college campus. Personally I think the loudness, rowdiness, general over-the-topness of American youth culture is annoying, and prefer a more German mentality. But everything I just said goes about six times for the black students, only add aggression, rudeness and violent tendencies into the mix. Come to think of it, one thing these cultural comparison videos tend to ignore when comparing European culture with American culture is that black American culture is so vastly different from white American culture, they might as well be their own nationality.
It is not a problem of showing emotions it is a more concious and reserved approach of showing emotions. Especially on the "I love you" topic I prefere the german approach. I love you in german is the ultimate expression of emotions. I feel if I use that casually on everybody else it loses its impact in situations where you want to express the strongest of feelings towards another person. When one of my american close friends says "I love you" to me often I am uncertain how they mean it. Often the context is clear but especially when you are close to a person it gets confusing sometimes. ""I love you" in what way exaclty?" While on the other hand if a german friends drops "Ich liebe dich" on me I know that this is serious and that it means a lot.
the moment you said 'all over the shop' tells me you are truly british, i dont know if that is something you would say in german, but its something we say a lot over here, and you said it in a very british manner :) That actually made my day
+The Stevie B Show haha. I noticed that, too - it's not something we say in Germany. But after 4.5 yrs in the UK I gotta become a little British I guess :D
It was amusing, not in a bad way either, i think it was your accent that just topped it off for me :) I think the fact you have been in London for that length of time is probably made it worse for you because its like the hub of the main british language i would say Although, there are places like newcastle which is the geordie which is another level of english altogether, like welsh and scottish, but the majority of the country is london language :)
just to make for everyone the thing with the german "i love you" clear: "Ich hab dich lieb" is something you say to your mom/dad, maybe siblings for some special reasons "Ich liebe dich" is something you say to your propably or actual husband/wife.
Huh, never even thought about the 'I love you' thing, but you're absolutly right. I think i used the 'Hab Dich lieb' phrase (as in 'I care for you'?) almost 99% of the time rather than using the direct 'I love you'.
I was born in iran that is a lot about showing emotions. Then I worked and lived in Australia and in the US for years- emotions are less shown there but still they show...then I moved to the U.K. I am very adaptive and noticed I have changed over these years in how I show emotions. I use RU-vid to express my emotions so they do t bottle Up xx
Hi,thanks for the video.It's really interesting. I'm from Spain (San Sebastian )and don't think German people are rude. It's true that English people are the masters of courtesy but that doesn't mean that people from other countries are rude.Bye!
We Brits are so ridiculously indirect in our politeness that it can be crippling sometimes, though. It's not always a good thing. My partner and I sent our son to a French/English bilingual nursery in London, which was staffed with one native English-speaking team and one native French-speaking team so the kids could alternate their language environment from day to day. One time, my partner (London-born, very typically English in his manners) went to pick our son up one afternoon and was desperate to go to the toilet (our son was still playing outside). The only adult toilet was occupied for a very long time and he waited in misery outside, feeling that it would be inappropriate to go into the children's ones, even though they were empty. Two different ladies from the French staff, separately, came to ask him if he was OK, sensing some mysterious distress they couldn't quite figure out, and to both of them he said yes with a smile, even though he wasn't OK. If it had been me, frankly, I would just have gone into one of the children's cubicles without asking, as they're private anyway - or at least, on being asked, I would have explained my problem immediately and asked if it was OK (I'm from Glasgow, though, so culturally a bit less reserved, generally speaking). Later that night, when it was long over, he complained to me that the two French ladies had been horrible to him, because surely they could tell what the problem had been - that he'd been waiting for them to suggest he might like to use the vacant children's facilities - but obviously they were just rude and didn't care, because they should have volunteered that option on seeing his problem but had bitchily not done so. I delicately asked him whether he'd explained his problem. He admitted he hadn't. I then pointed out that most Europeans will expect a direct explanation, and since he hadn't given them one, they would deduce that there wasn't a big problem and leave him to it. He huffed. I thought it was hilarious.
Still waters run deep is from a phrase used by Quintus Curtius a 1st century Latin historian. It disappeared in Europe for a long time until reappearing in English in 1400. The Italian writer Abstemius then wrote a fable around the phrase 90 years later which ended up getting rolled into Aesop's Fables in Europe which made the saying well known.
Do you know "Bitte melde Dich! - Julia Something sucht"? Where this woman goes around and tries to find lost parents and children or whatever? My mum sometimes watches that and she always complains that the crew makes the people to be overdramatic and cry when they reunite with the ones they searched for. Is this how "American shows" are all the time?
I heard from a Germán girl living in Colómbia for 4 years and coming back to Germany ,then realize how Germana are extremely rude so much that she missed Colombia,and felt in Germany her own country,like forengeir
I spent one year in Japan and I think it's true that there are a lot of similarities to the way we deal with emotions. The Japanese word for, "I love you" carries a very heavy meaning, maybe even havier than the German, and I think that this is what makes this word so beautiful and special.
1) Every rude person thinks he is direct. 2)How's the "norm" of Germany is this (rude) 3) If you don't like it, go elsewhere- are legitimate explanation?
The most appropriate metaphor for this goes like this: "Americans are like peaches, Germans are like coconuts." Peach - soft on the outside, hard pit on the inside. Easy to start small talk, difficult to maintain as a friend for long periods of time. Coconut - hard shell, bit diffused, juicy, liquid on the inside. Hard to start a conversation with, but perseverance lets you gain a friend for years or even a lifetime.
@@dansattah Rubbish juvenile analogy, lifted from hackneyed articles penned by Germans themselves. Germans are excellent spreading positive stereotypes about themselves. BTW, majority of White Americans are of Germanic origin. So basically they are Germans with a layer of superficial politeness.
i´m german. I think its polite to point out someones faults and tell hard truths, so sth can be done about it. Everything else is a lie. my critics are my best friends.
Don't cover your Hitler brainwashing Prorgam with being honest!!! You want truth? You guys suck at everything!!! You guys can not take any blame!!! You guys love to critic others but break down the moment sombodys attacks your flaws!!! A Race just filled with hate and jealousy! And is good for nothing!
I get your point and indeed agree with you on the fact that Germans in general are not rude and are actually nice ppl once you get to know them. Though i think the customer service in Germany is far from that of the UK and what I mean by it is that ppl/employees are simply less willing or prone to help (at least according to my experience).
You ve completely hit it with the I love you phrase, and you re right that it starts to spill in from US movies and tv to be used more among young people that before. One other thing: when I listen to RU-vidrs from the UK I finally get it, that Britain was conquered by the french in 1066 - and since then the Brits seem to have a problem with the pronunciation of the letter H ;-)
One thing I want to point out as I see this all the time, and not just from Germans, and other foreigners, as well as some Americans. Is that they think we are being fake and deceitful when we say hello to a stranger. I get it, you don't ever do that in Germany, or any other country. I'd just like to point out that when we say hello or wave to a stranger. Many of us were taught this in school as it just being polite. It is not at all about trying to be deceitful, or fake. A kind word, a smile, or an attentive ear never hurt anyone. You never know what benefit may come from it. I certainly don't have any bad intentions, and I'm most certainly not being fake to anyone. An sometimes when I'm feeling down it's nice when someone is polite and doesn't treat you like you're just a piece of property, or robot, machine,. I know if I do go to Germany I will definitely keep to myself and not speak to anyone except my girlfriend as much as possible. I can't wait to see her again. I am a bit nervous about traveling to Germany. Especially after watching all these videos, on how we all need to just get used to them being rude, because it's just how they are.
Being direct is right thing to do..! Can an Auslander be direct with German, and get away with that without being told to go back where he / she comes from?
I am a American german. Alot of people say i am straight forward to the point, i am not big in small talk. I love to talk About deep long intelligent educational conversations. I am 6"5my wife is a latina woman she is 5"0. Mexican woman do have a big temper. She was born in mexico but she moved over here when she was a kid. I have 2 daughters. Between the age of 4 months - 3 years. They are half german and mexican. Latina woman has a good work ethic, they are fast and they will take care of any situation. My wife she said i am really mean because i am straight forward i dont sugar coat nothing.
My family is moving to Germany at the new year. I've really enjoy your channel. Good insights for a foreigner. I'm new to RU-vid. Any support would be appreciated.
as I may add why germans are behaving like JenDre told, (we) germans have a strong will to improve. If you take her example with the cooking you'll give the host the chance to further improve the cookingskills by pointing something out that got wrong and / or show how it could fit better to your likings. also, if you say that something is delicious the host can get that for your absolute true opinion. they know that you mean it. And for Jen Dres second example - well first of all its a cheap tv show which great possibilityto be complete fake... but what's true is that lot's of germans don't overexpress feelings. sometimes it seems rude to tourists if they get a one liner as respond, but its just that this feeling about beeing honest is in about our entire beeings. so, why should I be extra friendly with someone I don't know if he deserved it. he'll get the information he wanted, not more and no less. Keep in mind, every human beeing is an individual and surely not every german is like desicribed.
Brits would be more diplomatic, in the real sense. You'd be honest if you were likely to have to eat their cooking again, otherwise it'd be damage limitation. Humour is also effective in the UK... "How was your meal?" "The after dinner mints were really good." Any criticism you offered after that could only be taken more favourably, if they hadn't burst in to tears or punched you in the face. Many younger Brits have been infected with gushiness by exposure to American media. Though we have to take some of the blame ourselves with ideas like positive affirmation getting out of control in our schools.
Assuming your description of Germans is accurate, they sound like my kind of people. Less fake, less bull-shit, less over-dramatic and saying things as they really are. To me, these are positive qualities. I hate it when people over react when they're happy, sad or excited about something. From what you've said, Germans soung like a 'what you see is what you get' kind of people. For example, if a German says they like your food then you know they do actually like your food. That's refreshing, I think.
Germans aren't rude, they just say how they see things and speak there mind and if people don't understand then that's there problem, plus German people can also be very funny! Just like the English don't pronounce things weird, they just Pronounce words how it's pronounced in there language. Just like they might do things differently in there country compared to another country and visa versa, nothing strange or wired about that and if people have a problem with that then that's there problem! It's just how people from other parts of the world perceive other countries and Cultures and out of either ignorance, racism, xenophobia or even if they think what they doing or saying is just funny or being light hearted, is in fact enforcing those stereotypes and prejudices and makes the person saying those things look ignorant and stupid!
Whereas a brit might use code to indicate something that was not OK, a german will usually be more overtly direct. but a german would not understand the british criticism unless trained in the code! and the brit would be offended by the german directness. "a very interesting idea"= that's rubbish. etc.
In my experience in both countries the only way that Germans are specifically ruder/more discourteous is in sometimes CUTTING IN LINE (although this may be more of a general European tendency). In America, in decades, I can only think of one or two instances where someone has cut. In Germany, and with Germans, there are more (with much less time spent in German lines). And I've had German relatives who have spent time in the U.S. confirming this public deference and respect for property rights. On the other hand, at least in comparison to Americans, Germans are cleaner/neater! But then, MANY nations are!
I'm American and have known a lot of Germans who lived in the U.S. for a while. I also know an older German lady who has lived in the U.S. since the 1960s. Germans are very charming when it comes to light conversation. They can also be very blunt. I have been shocked more than once. Example: The German lady was offered a brand new blouse by a friend who was clearing out some things. She declined it because she only wore certain necklines. Then she said "Why don't you lose weight and then you can wear it yourself?" It is unspeakably rude in the U.S. to call attention to someone's weight. ;) As far as your example of telling a host or hostess you don't like something they've cooked. Yeah, that will get you into trouble here. They will think you're an ingrate. We have a saying that goes . . . "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all."
It's not about having emotions or not, it's about expressing said emotions. So maybe Germans are good at not showing emotion, however it doesn't mean that they don't have.
so, everybody outside of germany love to be lied at, instead of beeing telling the truth when they are asked? IF you get some german to be your friend, you got a friend for the rest of your life. except you do somthing realy offencive.
lol was für ein schwachsinn. lebe schon so lange in der schweiz, und die Deutschen sind wirklich immer unfreundlich und verkrampft. Wird wahrscheinlich so bleiben, deshalb sind die weltoffenen Leute auch schon lange nach kanada oder neuseeland ausgewandert. Und jetzt noch die heutige Situation setzt dem allem eigentlich die Krone auf, soll heissen, es wird noch viel schlimmer werden
Es geht nicht nur um Lügen oder die absoulte Warheit... Es geht darum mit anderen Menschen einen Umgang zu wahren von dem das Zusammenleben profitiert und ich sehe da einfach mehr Spielraum, als seinem Gegenüber permanent seine (subjektive) "Wahrheit" ins Gesicht zu klatschen (was eher dem eigenen Ego dient). Mag sein, dass es in bestimmten Situationen gut ist sehr direkt ehrlich zu sein. Genauso ist es aber gut, in anderen Situationen, "höflich" unehrlich zu sein. Das Zusammenleben besteht aus Flexibilität im Umgang und daraus mit welchem ZIEL ich etwas verfolge. Direktheit und Konfrontation IMMER an erste Stelle zu setzen, wird nicht immer dem ZIEL gerecht das erstrebeneswert für ein gutes Zusammenleben wäre. Die Leute hierzulande schauen sich ja nichtmehr ins Gesicht, weichen nichtmehr aus auf der Straße, oder sind extrem distanzlos, gaffen, drängeln und kommentieren alles - genau weil diese Verhaltensstrategie nicht funktioniert und nur ein ständiger Wetteifer daraus ensteht. Es ist nicht Tiel unserer Kultur so zu sein, es ist einfach schlechte Erziehung, ein Verfall von Werten und Verhaltensregeln: Sei hilfsbereit, wahre Distanz, sei respektvoll im Umgang... Dinge die die ältere Generation noch gelernt hat und welche gut mit den deutschen Tugenden vereinbar waren: Fleiß, Aufrichtigkeit (auch über sich selbst), Gewissenhaftigkeit. Für mich ist diese Distanzlosigkeit einfach ein Verfall an Werten, vordergründiges Mutmaßen und Wichtigtuherei.
Maybe you have not lived outside Germany. There is conviviality and when something has to be said you will say, that was an interesting way of cooking potatoes and it can sound funny rather than offensive but you get your message across. But in the entire atmosphere of conviviality it is impossible to feel hurt about it. Also people apologise more, at least in the UK, even for little things. In Germany it feels you will only apologise if you killed someone, at least I have only heard people say Entschuldingung a couple of times in years. I was nearly ran over once while crossing a pedestrian crossing and the driver only said I was walking so quickly - no apologies. Germans do say sorry, however, now and then. Perhaps they feel that is kind of an ok word to say. You get used to the German way eventually, it is just a bit hard at first.
That cracked me up when you talked about how Americans show the over the top emotional reactions. I, personally, am not really overtly emotional so I always roll my eyes when someone goes nuts with emotions.
This is the thing with cultural differences. Countries that have the view of you should be to the point, honest and just say what your think are often seen as rude by countries that have the view of you should be more reserved about this kind of thing. Countries that are more reserved about this kind of thing often frustrate people from countries that feel you should just say what you think as the people from countries that feel you should say what you think think gosh why can't they just be honest with what their thinking. I also feel anyone that is a blunt, to the point, honest person that voices their opinion has to be able to take it back when the shoe is on the other foot and someone is telling them something they might not want to hear as long as they are not being insulted by name calling etc.
I fully agree to your last paragraph (although I would say frank instead of blunt). You shold be able to take honest criticism when you have no problems giving it.
For anyone with knowledge of social history: were the Germans different before WWI? I ask because a documentary said Brits were the wild and crazies of Europe before the French Revolution caused them to think that being out of control emotionally led to the collapse of the nation. I wonder if wars and deprivation changed German society and social interactions.
If you are an older American, as I am, and had professors who left Germany before 1940, you would never have thought of them as rude. They were direct, and to an American point of view, sometime quite unintentionally amusing. The only notes I still have from my college days were from a class taught by Hannes Beckmann, they were that good. (Look him up he was a younger member of the Bauhaus.)
The English (maybe Americans as well) talk to much and even then don't gave a clear answer. And as a Dutch that is very impolite and offending. Just give a clear answer.
You Know The German Expression Sie können nicht halb schwanger In English You Can Not Be Half Pregnant.Meaning Yes, Or No. New Yorkers Are Very Direct Too Like Germans.
I don't know how representative people on a TV show are though. True with the "I love you". But when you say it to everything that it isn't really so serious anymore.
Direct is seen as being honest and trustworthy. That's one of the main reasons why Germans sometimes see people who are too polite to be direct ( i.e. Asians or muslims) as false, deceitful or two faced. I am not saying one side is right or wrong.
I thought that this Video was going to be another attack on decent German folk . . However I was wrong. . . I’m surprised that Germans aren’t attacked in the streets after all the propaganda directed towards them. . . Check out the Work by Ernst Zundel & David Irving . . . Setting the record straight for the German People. . My family comes from Germany 🇩🇪 Thanks For Some Truth x
isnt like we dont have emotions. we simply can control the expression. not like a child which have no control at all ;) when you start to cry like a baby when your boss like your work... you lose instand the respect of everyone which have the "honor" to see you lose control cause of somthing that trivial. it let you look like have a 10 years boy mind o_o
Spatz Sturm LMFAO that is such a fucking German reply. thanks, made me laugh out loud. I would fucking hate to be stuck in that mindet you're in, it's like no matter what you say you can't help but sound like a completely insecure moron. I'd say no offense, but you wouldn't, hahaha.
dont worry. i live long enouth outside of germany to know that we are spezial :P im not offended. i know im un poco loco. i know we are un poco mas loco. and for some reason we are proud of it :D at least the ones wich know about they own crasyness (does that word exist O_o?!)
Spatz Sturm I like this whole 'say whatever, don't give a fuck about others feelings' thing, I could get used to this. although I'd only use it with people I felt deserved the be treated this way. you've most likely learned to embrace your ignorant ways and now class it as a part of your countries 'culture'. I personally would just adapt to the social levels of the rest of the world if I were a German, rather than potentially offending every single foreigner I meet. it takes no effort at all to learn politeness, hell, for us in other countries it's literally in our human nature. and yes, craziness is a word! insanity sounds better though.
I think you are tricking yourself... it takes courage to show emotions, because you let down your guards for others to see - hiding them is actually the easier way. I am German, too, but to me most Germans act weird and uniformitive - I get along with people, who are polite and just normal emotional, but most Germans in daily life are hard to relate to, honestly.. And I think it has not been always that way.
I would describe the Germans I've personally known as reserved rather than rude. I also think that part of the issue might be that to non German speakers the German langauge can sound very harsh, the comedian Ruby Wax said of her German grandmother that when she spoke in German a simple question sounded like an order to invade the Sudatenland. As I recall Trixi (Don't Trust The Rabbit) did a video about how harsh and even threatening German can sound to non German speakers.
The Japanese, although ridiculously polite, have a blind spot with people who are over weight. They elicit the same sort of reaction as someone with body odour "Sorry to point this out to you, but has anyone told you, you are fat?" The Japanese have great difficulty in not 'causing a scene.' A war cabinet meeting conducted before the attack on Pearl Harbour (which most members thought would be a bad idea) somehow inexorably drifted towards doing the opposite. The Emperor, who also thought it was a very bad idea (because Japan would lose) decided the best way to get across "this is a bad idea" was to read a poem in impenetrable ancient Japanese. He hoped this would somehow convey to his cabinet what he was actually thinking.
Its like smalltalk...if you ask a german "How are you?" ..expect a honest answer, not just a "fine, how are you". Most germans (including me) are brutally honest, no senseless chit chat..straight forward. Wich i think is connected to the stereotype of "Germans are efficient"
I'm Japanese, who loves British accents/England and Germany, haha. But yeah you're true on what you mentioned about Japan, I love you (aishiteru in Japanese) is like super serous and it's something you would only hear said on TV, or maybe when your partner is about to die, hahaha. By the way your videos are really interesting even with no effects!
I really don´t think that germans a emotionless. It can be quite the opposite. However germans are pretty closed when they meet people they don´t know. If they get to know the person they are much more open. For me it´s natural not to show your softspot at first size. Emotions are like secrets, you don´t show them or tell them just anybody. The other person has to be trust worthy. And about the I love you thing. It´s true in germany we don´t they "Ich liebe dich." to our parents, or our family in generell. It´s always "Ich hab dich lieb." or "Ich hab dich so lieb." for expressing even more emotion and love. But as germans are precise, at least that´s what we called, I think there is a different in the emotion. You just don´t love your parents the way you like your partner, so I think it deserves a different phrase. I don´t like the people who just love or hate anything like there is nothing in between that two emotions. I mean do you really think "I hate white chocolate." is on the same scale with "I hate what Hitler did to the people."? This appears like you have no sense for things, as they all appear as good or as bad as all the others. And that is really emotionless in my opinion. And yes I am a great defender of being honest or direct. Which is more or less the same. If I am invited to someones house and we eat together and they ask me: "Did it taste good." or something similar, I would always respond something like "Yes it´s good." unless it is total disgusting. Because if you don´t have to force yourself to eat up I think you can always say its good without thinking about it too much. Well if I didn´t like it I think it´s totally okay to say so. "Well I didn´t like it, I am sorry." Or even better " I think it´s just not my taste, I am sorry." This is perfect because that makes clear that YOU or I didn´t like it. No criticiscm at all, if the one who asked don´t want to take it as one. If you lie about a question whenever the answer is not a perfect, because of politness, the one who asked will never know, is s/he telling the truth or not. And the other way around if the asker just asks you because they want to hear a compliment no matter what, then in both cases the whole concept seems to be senseless. And yes you have to be kind of brave to tell the truth. But if you can, it means you are honest and have personality. And that is much more worth for a relationship than being polite. If you are afraid of an answer, don´t ask. Its as simple as that. However I liked the video. Thought it was funny. Just tried to explain why I as a german am "rude" in this kind of way. I dont think that someone will actually read this but I dont care. I wrote it anyway. :)
I came across a theory once that it was all to do with speech pattens, intonation in particular. So an Italian making a neutral statement would (IIRC) use an intonation similar to an English speaker being emotional or emphatic. So the English feel that all Italians are emotional. With German it's probably the opposite. The very level tone and even emphasis with which a sentence is delivered sounds rather detached to an English speaker. A bit like an official statement or a station announcement. BTW one of the reasons many people refuse to believe you're German is probably because you've learned English intonation pretty well, say 80% or better. There's still a hint of German but you need to listen for it. Maybe you just have a good ear for music :-)
@Tony Thomas Hahaha Bloody brilliant mate !! i've been living in germany for nearly a year !! i'm trying to get used to of their rudeness!! they're missing the mainly concept of Customer service and the lack of politeness is pretty obvious!! nevertheless i’ve met awesome people here !!!
My cousin brought home a German boy (we are American), and I cooked a huge breakfast for the family. When I fixed a plate for him to be nice, he asks "is this all I get?" I was so shocked , so is this normal German behavior, or is that actually rude in German terms?
That's rude af. Got nothing to do with him being born in Germany, more like his parents failed big time making sure their child knows some manners.I'd say there's still a lot of rude assholes in Germany though but it expresses itself differently. That boy you were talking about was just a bad mannered brat.
Greek has different words for love: Philos, meaning brotherly or sisterly- the root of: Philadelphia. Eros, the sexual love where erotic comes from. The Patrous or however it's said for parental love. Agapé a general love that is endless. There's more- I think but I can't remember it at the moment. But I will say muchlove and good vibes and blessings to you just in the sense of warm thoughts and being happy hearing from you. You're an amazing person!!!! Thank you for sharing- yeah I know already--- It's alright! But anyway g'day.
You seem very likeable to me and all of the things you were saying are true in my opinion. You are saying it in a really funny way. During the whole length of the video I am close to laugh out loud :D Thanks for that :) You are also very pretty and handsome :)
Germans are not rude. But I think they are pretty strict on things. They obviously do not want to break the rules, which is a good thing for society as a whole.
honestly, I never got the whole stereotype about Germans being rude; the few I've talked to are actually really nice. that and I'm a very quiet and reserved yet bluntly honest person myself haha ''^_^
The Germans are rude, it's true, which doesn't mean they're bad people. They just don't have education, other than that, they don't have good manners, they clean their snot anywhere and they make a lot of noise by doing that, they seem to enjoy it very much!! Before I was very disgusted, now I tolerate it, the Germans do not like bathing too. But I have to say that the best people I've ever met in my life are the Germans.
One of the things British people see as rude is whole towels on the sun lounger thing, I guess we see it as question jumping or pushing in. I have not actually found Germans rude in any of my visits. The service in a few restaurants was however appallingly bad, not that I have found a British establishment anything to write about either compared to America. I am not over emotive myself, my ex wife once said if I won the lottery I would not crack a smile and I don't think I would either, maybe I am part German. Do you have comedy clubs in Germany? I cant remember seeing a German laughing.
Normal German behavior is not rude-in Germany. Britons (or Americans, or Italians) should never go to Germany and expect manners and customs to be the same as in Britain, and vice versa. Isn’t that the whole point of traveling? The “rude” German behavior you describe mostly sounds tactless. At the same time, a host who asks a guest how he liked the dinner is asking for it. In the US it is plain rude to blurt out that you don't like the food that's been cooked for and shared with you. With a little good will a guest (even a German) will learn to reply with something like, “It was different. I rarely eat duck at home.” The same goes for rugs, clothes, haircuts, and baby photos. If you don’t want your feelings hurt don’t ask, and if you don’t want to be rude learn to respond the way the locals would.
Maybe it sounds tactless to you. On the other side it sounds superficial to Germans when you're dishonest to your friends. "What are your friends worth when you can't tell them the truth?" Don't get me wrong. To be direct doesn't mean that you can't say things in a friendly way. But, just say it.
Just to be clear, it does sound tactless to me, but I’m American, living in the US, and to Americans, this part of German habit sounds tactless, and in America, where American customs and manners prevail, it usually is. Germans consider it sincere good manners--and in Germany, it is. What you say Germans find superficial, Americans intend as kind and in some contexts loyal. The point of Jen’s video is that some non-Germans do think German behavior is rude, and after long exposure to British manners she can understand why. She disagrees, but she understands. Most importantly, she tried to understand. What I said was that no one should travel abroad and expect the bounds of good and bad manners to be the same as at home.
I am German myself and I find that people here where I life often rude / overly direct. But it really depends where exactly you life, it can change from town to town, from region to region. It is general a thing you have to deal with living here, but it is not like there isn't a thin line into rudness and unfriendliness. Sometimes people are really RUDE and try to hide it behind that mannerism. I think it shouldn't be considered NORMAL beeing that way, it should just be mentioned that many Germans aren't exactly empathic, or able to deal with emotional things. But politness and manners is still a thing MOST people would appreciate - even many Germans, like Myself, and it wouldn't hurt those others in my opinion. On the other hand Germans beeing allways "honest" is a little myth to me. People are direct, true, but not allways honest in the same way. They just express their subjective perception about others and rub it under your nose, but they wouldn't tell you the truth about their own (emotional) intentions at the same time (At least here where I life) - They sometimes play little games with you and you have to be tough to stay it through. But as I said it really depends on Individuals.
Danke, liebe Jen, das hast Du wirklich gut erklärt, denn wir Deutsche lieben die Wahrhaftigkeit und die so völlig übertriebene und aufgesetzte amerikanische Art ist uns höchst zuwider, weil unecht, unehrlich und vor allem führt es die Mitmenschen in die Irre, weil sie dann z.B. ihren Gästen immer wieder das gleiche Essen vorsetzen, was sie gar nicht mögen, nur weil sie es aus falsch verstandener Höflichkeit überschwenglich gelobt hatten! - Liebe Grüße vom Rainer-JGS
Hey! When I moved to Germany,I heard about the fact that like 80% of the population has been at least once to a psychologist.And I was shocked at first.But in time,after I interacted with a lot of Germans,I realized why...Because most of them think that if they express their emotions it is wrong.That the people will judge them.It is so sad...I am a very friendly person and no matter what country I went to,I always made friends.But in here it is so hard.I live here for 2 and a half years and I have no German friends.I tried,but it was just me trying and it felt wrong.
Haha, the biggest question everyone has about Germans. I think it depends where you live in Germany? I moved to Berlin from a smaller city and trust me: THEY ARE RUDE. Or at least they can be very cocky and full of themselves .. and not in a good way. And yeah we love to complain about everything and give opinions that are not .. necessarily called for. It can be quite embarassing. And yeah most Germans I know are very put off about the whole American 'showman' attitude .. I think it's cute :D I think it really just depends on where you are and which generation we're talking about .. but from an outsider's perspective, many things about Germans are true.
In my experience, Germans don't seem to understand the difference between being direct and being rude, unkind, or even cruel. The Germans I know are fond of criticizing Americans in particular for being circumspect or diplomatic in their criticism of others. I guess to Germans, this seems inauthentic or timid. There is room for legitimate complaint here; Gemans may have a point in some cases... up to a limit. In my opinion, Germans take this idea of "being direct" to an extreme. They act as if really there is really nothing they could possibly say, which can't be easily excused with "I'm just being direct!" Sorry it doesn't quite work that way. Here's a video to lighten up what I'm saying: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-pfz0tDQZhqs.html
Are the bowing rules not more important? I'd never try tying shoes in a subway in Tokyo, perhaps I would urge jJapanese girls to have sex with me right there. Or maybe even men. ;-D
In America, generally, German's are perceived as a country with great technological skills, we adored the cars, so sad that they had that issue with the Volkswagen pollution software... but other than that great cars. In a general American's appreciate directness and honesty. I do believe both Brits and Americans have a better sense of humor than Germans. We just get irony better, probably because we can be obtuse by nature.
*I do believe both Brits and Americans have a better sense of humor than Germans.* Germans have an other kind of humor, but i don't think that it is possible to habe a "better" one. I like the dry english humor from Monty Python, i like american comedy shows like "The big Bang Theory" and i like the german cabarets too. But would never say they habe better sense of humor cause i don't like theyr kind of humor. When we germans have no sense of humor, why are shows like "Big bang theory", "Scrubs" or "How i met your mother" very popular an beloved here? It is forbidden to show "The life of Brian" on Easter Holydays in public, but it happend every year, yes we break the rules in sarcastic ways. Germans have a fantastic sence of humor, in a coordinated way, of course.
Some additional reasons why Germans might be considered rude We are considered rude because of - the sound of our language, which uses shitloads of "hard" consonants. This can be perceived as aggressive. Especially by people used to languages with lots of vocals and generally soft sounds (e.g. Asian languages and their excessive use of h). - a tendency to be efficient. This can appear to others as unfriendly and rude. For example it gets seriously on my nerves when somebody is wasting my time with tip-toeing (or being too late for that matter). And yes, why say "I love you" when my behavior shows that I do? Again, a pointless exercise and therefore a waste of time.
that's just bullshit. german itself doesn't sound hard....just the fact, that mprt europeans got to know it from a soldier shouting at them implemented that feeling into their cultural memory. before 1933 german was a language of beauty, spoken by Rilke, Goethe, Einstein, Beethoven, Bach, Liebig, Linde etc etc. Don't fall for that lousy stereotype.
GeilerRitter Erm... yeah? That could be another reason to add, but who speaks a language doesn't have anything to do with the amount of hard consonants. Nothing is bullshit about these observations and facts.
and again, german has not a remarkable amount of hard consonants, it can be spoken this or that way. if you decide to make it hard, english can be hard, too.
GeilerRitter Understand that that is what people think and that it wont suddenly change because someone says otherwise. I myself don't even consider German to that hard sounding in the consonants either, but compered to the surrounding languages it however noticeable on average.
You have adopted the British/American use of the word 'like' several times in every sentence, when it is essentially meaningless and therefore just irritating. Is there a similar habit in the German language?
I went to Europe during my vactions last year. By far the nicest people I met were spaniards and germans. For the real pricks are the french. What a bunch of cunts!
