My German husband was absolutely clueless about the importance of an engagement ring. I never said a word (and I really didn't care). I think our rings cost about $ 150 CDN. Just 10K gold bands. We were poor students at the time. A few years later, he wanted to buy me a proper diamond ring (sweet man). I said that was lovely, but for 4000 Marks I would rather have a sewing machine. 35 years later I still have that amazing sewing machine! 😂
You HAVE to go to the Standesamt in Germany. Its not optional. The church is optional. And a lot of Standesämter offer weddings in special locations like boats or castles for those couples who do not want a church wedding.
My German husband and I got married on October 30th, 2020. It was during Covid, so we got married in a courthouse in Jork, bc Hamburg was full! It was just me, my husband, his mama and his cousin and wife. His cousin was our translator and his wife was my matron of honor. It was sweet....I wore a black dress with flowers on it and hubby wore a suit. We gathered at our apartment after and had food and drinks. It was great bc we had people we love to share the day with.
Hi Hayley, That's a really nice and interesting video. The subject is seldom presented in such a manner, and I think it's very meaningful! I like it ! Thanks from France where wedding is another (not so) big deal ! Die allerbesten Wünsche für Ihr Wohlbefinden. 🤗
I think most bachelor and bachelorette parties in austria, where I live, and also germany are just eating out and doing things the bride or groom likes. Going to the spa, doing a pole danicing class, or creative class, going driving go-karts etc.... and after all that we go to a club or disco and party until morning.
The most important Bachelor-Party? When you earn your University Degree......;-) 50.000$ for a wedding ring?? And what about the engagement ring?? Thanks to Marilyn....."Diamonds are a girls best friend..."
Funny that you had so much Bavarian food at weddings. I'm from Bavaria and not one wedding I attended had traditional Bavarian food. Usually it was some kind of "fancy" food, usually you could pick between a vegetarian and meat-based dish - but I have never had Knödel or sour crout at a wedding. :-D
Nice video! I'm from Franconia, (Northern Bavaria) and the size and expenses of a wedding would usually largely depend on the wealth of the 2 families. Here, a typical wedding would have the legal contract signed in the Standesamt on Friday, and then Church usually follows before noon, and then everybody settles down to a festive meal with for instance: "Braten mit Kloß und Soß', " :oder "paniertes Schnitzel mit Pommes frites und Salat", oder vielleicht Ente oder Rinder-Roulade mit Blaukraut und Kloß, (drooling by now, lol) and then, people chat or go for a walk, ideally out into nature, and return for coffee and cake, and then later to dinner.... . or, 2. it could start in the afternoon with cake and coffee, then a festive dinner and perhaps dancing later. But I've only been to weddings which started after church with lunch. Very long! I've also been invited to a wedding which was held on a freshly mowed meadow, the tables with white linen, and romantically decorated with wild flowers and filigree grasses, -- luckily the weather was perfect and it was a wonderful day. Another wedding was celebrated in the huge garden of the bride, and a warm buffet was offered, with different meats and side dishes, salad, wine, beer, it was phantastic as well.
The stag night/hen´s night is a British custom. For some reason it has spread into Germany in the last 20 years or so. Traditionally, German brides and grooms celebrate the night before the wedding together. The name of this event is Polterabend - "noise making night". You smash old plates etc. to chase away the evil spirits so as to make the wedding and marriage lucky (not so much emotionally happy, rather blessed in terms of money and children). A German wedding is always about two adults agreeing to spend their lives together, not about a father handing over his daughter to another man, so of course bride and groom have seen each other many times and know each other well. The thing about not seeing the bride until she reaches the altar does not exist.
We did it the different way around, my spouse is British and I imported him from Belgium. We had a 'civil office' wedding in a church because neither of us was church going but both Belgium and the UK are used to church weddings (in the Netherlands the wedding is a civil affair, and afterwards you can have any kind of religious ceremony you want)
When I got married to my German ex, we had a destination Caribbean wedding and a party for friends when we got back to Germany. My ring was not that expensive compared to American standards and I was okay with that. My dress i got at David’s bridal and sold it on ebayde when we got back to Germany😂 I did have my bachelorette night in Frankfurt 😅 it was fun.
Also, I photographed weddings as a hobby for about ten years and with a couple of exceptions the reception didn't usually start until 7 or 8 and didn't end until midnight. Dinner was anywhere from 5 to 7 with reception following. Other than a very small afternoon wedding at a venue followed by drinks and appetizers that was usually just a few hours. Although I'm sure there are regional differences around the country. Also the officiate because he/she is licensed by the state is the one that has to file to wedding license at the courthouse for it to be official(my regular 8 to 5 job was at the courthouse). BTW I'd be very happy with that German wedding food! I've been to weddings where the food was pretty bad and left a lot to be desired
I wonder how popular bare-bones weddings are. By that, I mean weddings with no guests, no decorations, no festivities, just a couple people getting married and their officiant.
I would be so so scared of losing an expensive ring, it would bring more stress than joy into my life. But then, I also don't plan on getting married, so there's probably not gonna be one.
My father was a carpenter and never wore a ring, and neither have I. My daughter is a medical doctor and her husband is a merchant captain. None of them can were rings on the job, so they don't. 😊
Dicke Hose scheint wirklich wichtig in Amerika zu sein, Hayley. Unsere Trauringe haben zusammen nur rund €160 gekostet. Nur ein Symbol, das "Liebe" nicht braucht. Aber K.I.T.T. war unser Hochzeitsauto...
That's a very classy and pretty dress you wore to that wedding, it looked great on you! Do Germans not use engagement rings usually? Here in Sweden we tend to exchange rings when we get engaged, though some choose not to, and the trend is to keep it simple. Ours are recycled silver with a celtic knotwork pattern that meant something special to us, but they are really very simple. At the wedding ceremony only the bride gets a ring - again, the trend is to keep it simple, if there is a stone it's usually a small one. A small row of mini-stones is also common. Oh, and we wear the rings on the left hand, as you do in the US.
Hallo, heute in Deutsch. Ich war schon auf einigen Hochzeiten hab aber dann festgestellt das die unter 1,5 Promille keinen Spaß machen. Ich darf nichts alkoholisches trinken. Leider. 😉 Falls du einmal heiraten solltest, meide Indien. Dort kann das ganz schön ind Geld gehen. (bis zu 1.300.000 Euro !!!) 😱 Have a nice Weekend und Grüße an die Familie. 😁😁😁
I am Austrian, guess a lot of stuff is similar to Germany. The Bacheloretteparty here is called Polterabend - either groom and bride together or each has a party on his own. Especially on the land/ Farmers Culture this has great tradition - for the men… beeing carried around from a Traktor in a harvesttrailer, detouring to friends, every station wirh a lot of Schnaps, ending with a female stripper (if it could kept a secret from the bride) ;-) My son drove the „Polter-Wagen“ two days ago - pour driver, he has to stay sober - its all about drinking, singing (bawling) around „a last time“ (who believes ;-)) Love your videos :-)
My mom was in Europe for a while and said that at least in Greece that people wore the ring on the right hand. I grew up integrated enough in Texas to see that it doesn't matter lol.
I split from my husband & was sent to Greece for work & without my knowing I put my wedding ring on my right hand so men would not hit on me, I wanted to be left alone, little did i realize that was the actual ring finger & I still got hit on. I took it off & told annoying men to get lost instead. two years later I met my future husband in Athens, he is German & we have been together for 25 years.
In the UK, men have a "Stag Party" and women a "Hen Party". Both involve dressing up in silly clothes and a lot of drink, that's why it's popular to go to Germany or Holland where they don't have to worry about licensing hours.
@@uschil228 In Deutschland ist der Polterabend das, wo das ganze Porzellan geschmissen wird. Wird aber, zumindest in den Städten, nicht mehr so oft gemacht, glaube ich.
@@folkehoffmann1198 Viele feiern nach wie vor Polterabend, aber ohne das Poltern. Je nachdem, wie elegant man ist, ist das so eine Art Empfang am Vorabend, oder es kann auch eine einfachere Feier sein, wo man Bekannte und Nachbarn mit Bier und Schmalzbroten bewirtet, da man sie zur eigentlichen Hochzeit nicht einlädt.
The ring worn on different hands is mostly religion induced. Catholics had it on the right hand -- the hand you raise for an oath. Later the Protestants did it differently, thus they wear it on the left hand -- the hand that is closer to the heart.
I've never known a maid of honor having to pay for all of the bridesmaids dresses. There is no way a maid of honor is picking up the cost of all that and a bachelorette party. That said dress, shoes, party, wedding gift can run into A LOT of money. Each bridesmaid pays for their own. A bachelorette party is usually a shared cost of all of the bridesmaids & maid of honor. Sometimes if you're lucky a bride might pay for all of the dresses but that's usually if they have a small(2 or 3 bridesmaids)wedding party.
Meine Bekannten haben nicht geheiratet, führen aber eine gute Ehe und haben inzwischen ein 9 Jähriges Kind, Hühner, Hund, Katze, haben das Haus gemeinsam renoviert und unternehmen extrem häufig etwas gemeinsam. Heiraten ist im Endeffekt dann doch eher so ein Steuer-Ding, es macht eine Ehe jedenfalls nicht besser.
3:00 - The side were the German have the ring is different. In the east of Germany the people have the ring normally on the left hand, because this is more practical. In the west of Germany the people have the ring mostly at the right hand.
Hayley, pardon me for a question that's not on the topic, but I recently found out that English and German have the same number of verb tenses. Do the translations actually line up?
My wife and I thought (briefly) about marrying in the US, but at that time she would have needed a "Marriage Visa" and if she was interested in eventually working in the US, she would have had to stay in the US for a year... and if I remember correctly, the whole thing cost several thousand dollars... is it different now? is Mike interested in being able to work in the US? Are you going to get dual citizenship with the new program? So many questions ;-)
@@LettersFromAFriendLOL, I just wanted to say it that this would be an easy one because the German part would be none. Although do "oh hey, by the way, it is a boy/girl" thrown in side note and giving the mother a gift when you visit her in hospital count?
So interesting, the differences! I was surprised Germans wear their wedding band on the right hand instead of the left. Is that true of most of the rest of Europe as well? I also wonder where the American tradition of diamond studded engagement rings originated.
Catholics wear the wedding ring on the left annular finger while Protestants on the right. This is the generic rule in Switzerland. Engagement rings are not common. Wedding rings are simple bands with very little decoration.
I am Catholic and wesring my ring on the right.My husband is Protestant and also does so. Iam married since 1987 and my ring is a very simple golfen ring which was around 150 Euros. Our wediing with ca. 80 people cost 2000 Euros including all expenses. It is not the money that makes a happy marriage. It is too much circus nowadays...
At a village wedding in northern Germany, at the stroke of midnight everyone gets to rip off a piece of the bride’s veil which she has been wearing all day and night. That’s your souvenir from the wedding.
This was a very interesting topic. Going to weddings can be a lot of pressure for some people. It sometimes leads to social anxiety, break-ups, premature marriage, and depression due to the unrealistic expectations here in the US.
When a "Jungesellenabschied" (bachelor party) comes to me in a train or somewhere else and wants to sell me Schnaps or other liquor stuff I am always a bit cautious. On the one hand I do not want to be a grouchy spoilsport, on the other hand I do not know these people at all- maybe they thought it was funny and filled drain cleaner in the liquor bottles? Probably not, but who knows in this crazy time nowadays? 🤔
I always try my best to think the best of society.... but if you see me passed out on the side of the street because I drank toilet bowl cleaner from a bachelorette's party favors... call the police 😂😂
Well that was a bit of a let down from expecting a big announcement! We spent less than $1K on our wedding. I had it catered by a local deli that had the best chicken cordon bleu. I wanted to have Olive Garden's tiramisu for the cake, but the caterer said he had a better one to order. So I trusted him on the selection and lo and behold, wedding day came and no tiramisu cake----it never came in, so we had to use a bunch of their factory-made cakes they had at the deli. They were not bad, but very strange for my wedding and not many people ate any, so we had lots of that left over to take home and eat later.
