Girl Chat: 'I’m Sorry, But…' 

"The word 'but' means forget everything that I just said, this is what I really mean." -Dr. Phil

“I’m sorry I made you feel this way” is different from “I’m sorry you feel this way” because when you say “I” you are taking some of the responsibility for the way that person felt by your comment or actions. When you say “you” you’re placing the blame on that person without taking responsibility.

Everyone talking about old tapings and videos I'm just happy to watch something

The words 'IF' AND 'BUT' should NEVER be in an apology. Short and sweet. I'M SORRY, HOW CAN I MAKE THINGS RIGHT AND PLEASE FORGIVE ME. Done

adrienne sis... if u don’t wanna apologize then just... don’t apologize. either own up to it completely or not at all

They're confusing me with these old videos. I come to RU-vid to watch the new ones!!

"I" is ownershipl of apology "you" is reverting the blame

If someone apologized to me like Adrienne I would be pissed. If you're not sorry don't apologize. That's putting the blame on me. So I agree with Loni and Jeannie.

Not everyone has been watching since season one. I need these older videos and their discussions as much as 2019 discussions. Old or not, the conversation is great to watch and learn from.

Loni looks SOOO poppin this episode!!!!!!

Tamara hit the nail on the head with men who like organized messes. My man is exactly like that and we fight about it all the time. Even when I show him where I move it to, he forgets and still freaks out when he can’t find it

If you gotta say " BUT " it's not an apology 😂😂😂

Can everyone stop complaining all the time about the old clips. I’m from London and don’t even get the real over here. So I’m happy with whatever!

saying “i’m really sorry I hurt your feelings, I didn’t mean to” and “i’m sorry you feel that way” are two different things. saying i’m sorry you feel that way completely invalidates the others feelings and is not an apology

They need to do more hello RU-vid clips you know those longer clips where they start off saying hello RU-vid like yes there talking to us why y’all not doing that anymore 😫😫😫

What I NEED is the 15-minute clips with our former co-host. Upload them quietly. I won't tell. We know you guys have them. Come on!

Nobody can MAKE you feel anything. You have control over your own mindset, which produces those emotions and responses (both of which you also have control over).

Someone falls: Me: I’m sorry for laughing, but that was funny as hell😂

Adrienne: “I’m OCD about being clean” Also Adrienne: “I don’t wash my hands after I use the bathroom in my house! I don’t touch anything” Adrienne Sis.. “OCD” SURE LMAO

Loni I am with you. The apologies are different. I tell my husband abt that Adrienne apology all the time. Absolutely no. Shady.

Lmao I'm exactly like Adam. I may have a mess, but it's MY mess!! And I know exactly where everything is!!

She's acting like a Samsung is a flip phone. And I think good service is more important. You can have a iPhone but if you have cheap service and can't get reception what's the point.

I suddenly feel sympathy for Adrienne’s friends and family. If this is how you apologize (little or none at all) than how is anybody you’re with ever supposed to feel respected?

Omg 10 mins of Adrienne saying the exact same thing until Loni is happy 😂🙄

*i watched this a while ago haha*

It's basically "I'm sorry that I hurt you unintentionally, but I'm not sorry for what I said or did" And for me, I could say that but I won't apologize if I don't mean it.

Okay I watched KUWTK when Adrienne and rob lived together. Rob complained about her being nasty and not cleaning after herself. She also says she eats in the bathroom, makes crumbs in her bed, and doesn't wash her hands. That is signs of someone who is nasty, not super clean. Sis must be referring to how she wants her maid to be.

Adrienne should really thank Israel's ex-wife for training him so well 😂

I do that with my hubby too, he has his own side and I have my own side. He’s organized messy w his space, at first it was hard for me but now I accepted it ❤️😀 u have to pick ur battles wisely lol

Adam is me. I can be actually organized, but for the most part I have an organized mess. And I personally love the clicking sound on my phone.

I hate when somebody apologizes for my feelings, it’s worse than saying but

I agree with Jeannie and Loni. If your apology contains any form of the word "but," it's not a sincere apology. Adrienne even said that she purposely phrases apologies that way when she feels she isn't at fault.

Jeannie’s hair LOOK LIKE A WHOVILLE FROM THE GRINCH 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I think it is hilarious how much Adrian talks about having OCD and being a neat freak but especially in this episode she really brags about it and I was watching keeping up with the Kardashians the other day and it was a big problem between her and Rob because he was such a neat freak and so OCD and she was messy and she didn't like how he criticized her for being messy 😂😂😂

I broke a friendship because of someone constantly apologising for MY feelings. It invalidated who I am and how I was feeling. Not a real friend.

I agree with Adrienne...like sometimes I did nothing wrong but I'm trying to be the bigger person for the sake of our relationship. Call me insensitive but sometimes I really do mean "I'm sorry you feel that way" cuz those aren't my feelings and they aren't up to me. You allowed yourself to feel that way.

Adrienne is so open to learning it’s amazing I love her

Stop the negativity. I know that there are certain things that y'all might not agree with, but at least, the ladies of the Real gets true and real on certain subjects, because they know what they are talking about, they have their opinions, they have great points and they have wonderful advices that are agreeable, so agree or not, that's it.

All this stuff wouldn't matter if you meant the apology. There's nothing I hate more than false apologies. I'd much rather we just stay mad at each for a little bit until things cool down. Certain things there really isn't any point for apologies because it has to do with a person's personality (for example if someone is really sarcastic), and with that you have to decide whether or not you can accept those quirks or move on. However, I am totally against people lying and saying things just to shut a person up. The tactic doesn't work and if something is ingrained in you...it'll most likely keep coming up anyway. I think the best thing to do is have a genuine heart to heart and come up with real solutions instead of false apologies.

When I was going through tough times I cracked my iPhone 5 3 years ago (I was drunk and it dropped from my hand and hit concrete) it was done and I could only afford a cheap android. You best believe I kept using my iPhone for picture. And anything else. It was so cracked that pieces were missing. I tapped it with clear matte tape (my friends judged me and asked why I didn’t use the clear kind) 🤷🏽‍♀️ in the end the whole top of the screen had chipped away and gone to hell. I now have a 7plus and an Apple Watch. So life is looking up.

Loni's makeup and hair was slaying on this old ass episode.

'I'm sorry YOU felt' means the blame is on the other person. 'I'm sorry I MADE you feel', is accepting blame.

""If" I made you feel" in an apology is also a tad incorrect. Because they clearly felt some type of way. I'm sorry for making you feel.....etc. Love you girls!!

Just like love languages, we all have different apology languages. we each need something different when reconciling. It's a thing!

A good apology separates impact from intent .

“I’m sorry that when I did ___ it came across as ____. It wasn’t my intention and I apologize.”

I dropped my phone and it cracked on the top left corner. It didn’t even affect the picture or anything but I went and had it fixed the next day. I could not handle it. I didn’t even realise I was that ocd about that until it happened

Disagree with Jeannie. Guys apologize like this all the time. They say I am sorry you felt that way, while completely avoiding taking responsibility for what they did. And if women expect better apologies, hey we aren't going to be sorry for having some standards.

My husband leaves little hairs from shaving that drives me nuts haha. HOWEVER I tend to leave hair strands and clog the shower drain because I have long hair! It’s a two way street

Just say sorry, no if, no but, if you use the words if and buts, then you ain’t sorry😒😒😒😒 the shadiness of it all.

The way Jeanie was saying “ Android” had me weak 💀

That is so Scorpio is Adrienne “I am so sorry you felt…” lmaoooo

If you're judging someone over a cracked phone, an older phone, the phone brand or you're judging how someone else prefers their phone settings, I'd say you have some issues. How exactly does that effect you again? I have a nerve condition that causes me to drop my phones several hundred times a year. I usually buy Samsung because they've held up the best but at some point, it'll crack. I'm not going to immediately run out & get it fixed. It's a pointless endeavor & you're judging a disabled person. That says way more about you than anyone else.

Once you say you're sorry for whatever the case may be. Don't keep bringing it up, because if you can't let it go, you're really not sorry!

"I'm very obsessive compulsive disorder"

PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY THAT . And i completely ignore everything you say after BUT, and your creditability is shot. The same thing when someone says YOU FELT. Smh.

Actually other people's feelings aren't our responsibility, that is their stuff (learned this in therapy). But if they would like an apology, that is still okay. "I'm sorry I did _____." "I'm sorry I made you feel _____" is incorrect, because you can't make someone feel something when they are secure in themselves and their emotions. You can bring up a hurt/boundary to someone by using this script- "When you did/said/etc. ______(such as: ignored me the other day), what I thought about that was ______ (for example: I am unimportant), and about that I feel ______ (for example: anger)." Just some therapy things I've learned. Learn to be secure in yourself and take responsibility for your emotions.

I agree with Adrianne because some people are just snowflakes lol not my problem. An example of this is me not wanting to text an ex friend a million paragraphs everyday because i had things to do and she played the victim when I nicely told her I was busy. I had to apologize and she was still acting a mess. Girl bye!

I never realized that till now

Legit, apologizing for making someone uncomfortable is an apology. I'm sorry you feel that way/ I made you feel that way. I know what I meant when I said it. Feelings are hard to cater to.

Saying "I'm sorry you feel that way" is not considerate. It is not acknowledging *your* fault or mistake in the matter. I think a sincere apology sounds more along the lines of this "I'm so sorry that I hurt you." Simple as. Apologies take a level of humility that I think every human needs to practice. You don't lose anything by owning up to your mistake, you in fact grow from it. I just think if the person matters enough to you, you would put your pride aside and apologize with humility because you did not intend to hurt them and you want to avoid it in future. It's hard but worth it.

When you apologize, you should say WHY you are sorry.

I think the condition of a person's personal items can say alot about them, but I wouldn't trash someone for having a cracked phone

jeannie and lonnie were dramatic on this 😂

Aww I just love Tamera ☺️

Adrienne knows what they're saying. She literally said "cause I'm not going to really apologize for being rude if I dont feel like I was." So I'm sorry YOU feel...

Jeannie no one *makes* you feel any type of way. You choose to be hurt or not bothered. No one forces your feelings, you allow feelings to either dominate you willingly or not. Might take some growth, but... Happiness is a choice.

Loni looks so pretty 🌸

iPhone always comes out with features that Samsung (Android) has had for years.

Adrienne is talking too damn much in the beginning 😩

yup i am an organized mess all the time...don't you dare touch my stuff

I like the clicking sounds. It's calming and therapeutic like they said.

I LOVE Loni's laugh❤❤❤❤❤

I agree with Adrienne and Tamera

I know I’m late to the party but I looovvee the clicking noise on my phone while typing. However when I’m in public, once I start typing and I can hear it, and I know I need to type a paragraph, I just go ahead and silence my phone. Then I forget to unsilence it and then I can’t find my phone because it’s on vibrate 🙄

Love you guys 💕💕💕💕

If someone judged me on a cracked phone I would say Kick Rocks

I am on the fence cause I have OCD but I love an organized mess cause I know where everything is where I have last left it.

Anything before “but” isn’t valid. This has been around foreverrer. It’s being brought to light

"My name is Tamera Mowry Housley..and I quit!"

my mum told me that but after sorry is wrong. she accepted my apology after correcting me.

Just say Im sorry period

A person that's sorry wouldn't even say it, someone that cares about you wouldn't do you wrong in the first place. People know exactly what they be doing nobody is sorry

I'm 100% with Loni on this.

Some people can’t afford to repair or replace their phone so quickly...🙄

I love the clicks too 🙌🏾

Hollywood lol, I’m watching this video on a cracked phone

No!! even if you didn't mean to do what you should apologize for making someone feel that way and not apologize that they feel that way it's not their fault you made that happen

the clicking sound is the system and my mom hates it 😔

Lol the green bubble

Wow ADrienne looks so skinny and young! They all look so different. She still looks amazing but its crazy how time flies.

Why don’t people like the clicking noise ?! I can’t type without the clicking .. if my sound is off I will stop typing go turn it on SPECIFICALLY cause I refuse to type without the clicking.

To me theres a difference between im sorry and I apologize..also when I say either, I say why I'm sorry or what I'm apologizing for

GIRL NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU FEEL ANY TYPE OF WAY! You offended by something that’s on YOU. Adrienne is 100% right!!!

I LOVE THIS SHOW OMG

My nephew just said funny thing he was hearing Adrienne talking about exchange numbers telling them text me and green bubble pop up felt some way my nephew "son of my cousin" said I don't want meet Adrienne no more she sounds mean and diva but he did funny face and made all of us laugh

Not Tam thinking I'm sorry your feelings are hurt is nice lol

Loni could not keep her sorries straight 😅

13:55 i have an Android phone too👏👏😂

Is this an old episode?!🤔🤔 Also, "I’m sorry but..." "I’m sorry if you felt..." These are not apologies! You should be saying: "I’m sorry for making you feel..." if you didn’t make them feel anyway then they’ll tell you. In this case, it IS what you say AND the way you say it. Don’t try and be slick with your words. An apology shouldn’t come with conditions