A lot of people in the comments have never dealt with toxic parents that can come between a couple because of their narcissism and manipulation. I agree with everything Tamra said. It’s all situational.
@@talyabrown1939 Thanks sis, that's just the way I see it. I would never have my wife(that doesn't exist just yet lol) or even the girl I'm dating abandon her family. Now of course everything has a line but who am I to stand between someone & their family(& potentially my family thru marriage) ESPECIALLY in times of need! I'd be by her side to support & do whatever I can to help 💯
Garret Jones I disagree. My maternal grandparent (particularly my grandma) were very toxic and had no problem becoming a burden on my mother regardless of the damage it did to her marriage. My grandfather's illegitimate business sank and my mother came to the rescue despite the strain it put on her. The worst part about it was that my grandmother refused to compromise by downsizing from a rented 2 story house with a pool (we live in LA so thats an extreme expense to have someone else spot the bill). My mother skipped mortgage payments to pay for her parents shortcomings resulting in my parents losing their house. Y'all must not have experience dealing with toxic parents or you dont even realize you have them. It's not healthy. Although I dont believe in ultimatums, I could not see myself dealing with a partner who has a toxic relationship with his parents. I'd have to end that real quick, I wouldn't even let it get to marriage tbh
@@bossytweed6664 I'm sorry to hear of your family's hardships. In my original message I included the words "WHEN NEEDED" as far as encouraging my wife or gf to care for her mother/family. I realize that everything isn't a NEED. When I replied to a previous comment as well I also mentioned that everything has a line and has its limitations. Each individual couple and family will have to work together to decide what sets those lines of comfort and limitations for them.
Garret Jones I see what you're saying however when an adult child is entangled in a toxic relationship with their parents theres a very blurred line when it comes to what's considered "in need" versus excessive. Trust me, my mother just could not see it that way and thats what the problem is. Could she afford to support her parents? Not at all but in her mind she wanted her parents to be comfortable so she couldn't see the problem with her mother not wanting to downsize to an affordable senior apt living complex even if that meant putting a financial strain on herself.
@john smith Yes, same. It is just wrong. It's like choosing between your spouse and your child. That man/ woman is someone child, grandchild. That kind of hard choice can push someone to the edge.
I’m actually not mad that Jeannie puts her man before her mom because i know her story. But if it wasn’t for what she went through, I’d definitely disagree.
@@Kadericka oh I get it now, history with her mom. I thought you meant the divorce. But yes although I agree with Loni for the most part, I mean of course you should not drop everything for a man who could turn out to be a jerk or leave you, the same could be said for your mother some cases. Each situation is different and blood isn't always thicker.
Loni preach, I don't agree with jeannie on this. My mom is my world, she raised us as a widow all by herself. The least I can do is help her when she needs it.
Different if your mom knows you were sexually abused and didn't "protect" you. Now Jeannie has a dude that desires that provider/protector role; of course she'll have it twisted.
@@kernalbert4939 it's all from experience and everyone's life is different. What I'm saying is from what I've experienced with my mom, I'd give her my life if she asked for it. So I do think that it just depends on how the mother actually is.
I’m here with Loni my mom is my world and my Bestfriend , I’ve dealt with people trying to break my relationship with my family and that’s a no no , family comes first . People come and go but family Speacially mom is forever . Religion or not
Well said loni you are the smart of the smartest in this group man comes and goes but your mama is your mama period as long as you have a healthy relationship with her valid point also tamara.
Qualia we’re the special one 😓 just got tired of being a good daughter but feel taken advantage of by my own mother! Imagine doing your best to make your parent happy... but it’s never good enough for her.
Me too... My man's mom is like a third person in our relationship. Always there, always needing to know everything , calling all the time (by that i mean multiple times a day) , making excuses to come over and crossing my boundaries (getting her nose through everything in our home). She is a nice person overall but she's overwhelming. Also she is making comments about me gaining a little bit of weight, or not having voice good for singing... When i met her for the first time she said i'm more beautiful in pictures than in real life... And i got caught off goard
This is a tricky one. Yes, your HUSBAND (not "man" or "boyfriend") should come first. But at the same time, a man I marry wouldn't even put me in the position to even choose.
It depends, how serious the relationship is (if you're not married). If you are seriously dating then yeah, that person is getting a preview of how you would treat them. I hate this idea of hanging a title over someones head like when we get married, I'll treat you different, or better. I'm not marrying anyone to see if they treat me better once the titles are there.
*🗣The story is Ashley's mother is married and her stepfather is the father of her little sister. Now, they do in fact help them financially..I even think they put them up in a house...Welp, the stepdad is abusive and doesn't have a job and can NEVER keep one. So Ashley's husband doesn't mind helping her mother...He's just NOT in the business of working his behind off while a PERFECTLY healthy grown man benefits on his dime!!! AND WHO COULD BLAME HIM🤷🏽♀️...Either the husband gets the boot, get a job or he's was cutting them off financially*
I understand why Jeannie chose her man over her mom, cuz they didn’t have a strong bond since her childhood, etc. (all info found in her RU-vid channel stories). But if a man MAKES you choose? You might as well choose blood over any loser that isn’t willing to help out the very woman that gave birth to you.
If you understand Jeannie's background and what she went through, then you get how that kind of trauma can mess you up. And not having anyone there to help you or believe you is the worst. When you are raised like that you are truly alone. My mother molested me. I don't have to choose. I don't have "blood" to choose. That is all a lie. My father threw me down the stairs. People don't get there is stuff that happens that you'll never know about. And sometimes loved ones that come into your life after notice things that are messed up and try to help people get out and learn what love really means.
Qualia It’s super shameful how some parents are that forever changes their child’s’ lives ...Jeannie is speaking for audiences like yourself. I’m speaking for those who didn’t experience such tragedy. You’re right, there’s always both sides. Sorry you went through that.
morgan glenn could be, won’t know for sure until she says something. But the focus of this video isn’t even on Jeannie. Anyways, I said my two cents lol
Sometimes parents don't have proper boundaries when their children marry and low-key get jealous at the attention their child is giving their spouse and try to reassert their position which is unhealthy. Honestly most people in relationships don't come in trying to break you from your parents unless there is a problem, so before choosing anyone there should be an honest conversation about why this is being proposed in the first place..
Totally agree. Seen it for myself when the parents got so jealous of the newlyweds that they kept interfering and acting like the spouse to their own child. It's pathetic and a control issue with the parents. It does happen, and it's the reason to get married so you have your own new family. Only insecure families hold their grown ass married child back.
Yes this happened to me with my MIL.I have never disrespected her but she made it her number one priority to show me directly and indirectly that she comes first no matter what..she didn't want her son to be romantically involved with anyone, get married,start a family etc. And i think it's so selfish of her because she had her kids and family
@@WhatEver-mv6qi It was so stressful having to deal with her. From day one she didn't like me and I tried my hardest to be accepted by her until I just didn't care anymore. You can actually see the green eyed monster in her whenever I'm with her son now my husband...all the hateful looks,stares and insults it was terrible
This is such a loaded topic and context is important. The problem is A LOT of parents are toxic and have no problem becoming burdens on their adult children. I know in a lot of minority communities where poverty is rampant, we don't set things up for later in life and rely on our children to care for us regardless of how much of a strain it will be on them. My mother literally paid her parents bills (unbeknownst to my father) before their mortgage resulting in them losing their house. My parents almost divorced over it. I want to be able to create a life to where my future kids won't ever have to worry. I want to be able to take care of everything for myself and my children until the day I die, not the other way around!
Absolutely. It's all about context. People don't get that and it's hard for them to understand when they've had great parents who provided for them and listened and gave them love. And there are parents who act like the worst kind of criminals towards their children or/and just take whatever they can get and use their children. No child deserves that, minor or not.
Qualia Exactly! Not to mention, a lot of adult children don't even realize how toxic their parents are being a lot of us are conditioned to believe our parents are our responsibility once theyve gotten old. Like no, people need to make better choices in their youth so they set themselves up to not be burdens on their adult children.
thank god for loni during this segment, because the fact that none of them clocked that your partner making you choose between your own mother and your marriage is emotional abuse and that’s shocking.
Hontey. When you are married you put your spouse first. Your marriage comes first. Your mom isn't in the marriage. That does not mean you have to cut off your Mom though. Although, At the end of the day, if one of them is toxic and you have to make a choice, choose wisely. Every situation is different. Sometimes your man or girl is crazy and wants to pull you away from your family. Sometimes your mom really is overstepping her boundaries or treating your spouse wrong. Sometimes you just gotta take a long look at each relationship.
Family always comes first. My parents were there first and will always be there for me. 1. Ultimatums should never be acceptable 2. If you want to marry me and be apart of my life, you have to understand I will always be supportive of my parents if they need me like they did for me. I am lucky, my man understands my relationship with my parents and has actually created a similar relationship with my parents. We are both there for them through thick and thin as they are for us.
Nyotaa Mahogany yep! We are close with them as well. We are with our family a good amount but together. Yes we spend time together as just a couple, but we both enjoy being around our families.
Thelondonbadger thank you for your insight! I am lucky as my parents are well off and financially stable by them selves. It’s a theme in my family to be close knit and we are all very open with each other and are open to opinions but everyone is very respectful which makes it easy. You have a great point! If my parents needed money due to unforeseen circumstances and we could support them, I would. But if they are using me or my spouse in order to get by easy, then that would be very frustrating. My partner is African American, but his family is very much like mine that they are independent. I am an only child, I think subconsciously I feel like I will always want to help them because of everything they did for me, but if they were abusing that, the relationship I have with them would be very different
Then you're not ready for marriage. There's a reason why we don't take vows with our parents. Cleave to your husband, not your mama. First God, then marriage, then your kids, then your mama. When you don't believe in that, your marriage is going to suffer.
Most time when someone have to choose between their spouse, or their parent it's because the parent has no damn respect for their adult child. Off topic; Tamera's left eyebrow is driving me crazy🙈
That part!! Some parents are toxic asf. I grew up with toxic grandparents and it hurts me to even have to acknowledge that my parents marriage has been stronger since they passed away. This conversation is situational as Tamera said. I don't believe in ultimatums though. I personally wouldn't be with someone who has a toxic relationship with their parents. I knew how shitty my family dynamic was growing up because of that so I wouldn't want to put my future kids through it.
Exactly!!. Everyone saying their mom comes first I’m like but they’d be mad if that dude put his mom before them!! It’s not ok to put other people ahead of your husband/wife.
@@bpadilla123 Totally agree with you. Like the mother needs to her own life and let the married couple be, jeez. I see it all the time, especially in Indian culture were the mother insists that her grown ass married son live with her forever. And if the wife disagrees and wants them to move out, then she's considered 'breaking the family' insecure or what. I don't care if my own aunties are mother in laws, I will tell them to leave their married sons alone. Why get the sons married only to keep mothering them afterwards too.
Shawn Dyer his also GAYY and che@ts on her with black men on his “business trips” he’s also been arrested for s*xually harassing a cameraMAN and has harassed the other wives husbands on the show
I was engaged to a man who’s mom was a complete narcissist (and she was racist) but she definitely tried to get in between us and she succeeded because he allowed it to happen. Im no longer in that relationship, but there are MANY parents out there who are extremely toxic and absolutely need to be cut off at some point.
I love how Loni is shutting down all these bougie, slave-driving, fairytale movie suggestions or reasons for a Personal Assistant. They're all ridiculous. 🙄
Slave driving? Could you imagine a job where all you had to do for 8 hours was turn down covers and start someone’s bath? They’ll have nothing to do most of the day.
@@EllePlowPlow Yes it's slave-driving. Adrienne mentioned she would want someone to wake up before her and be her alarm clock. That sounds like a modern day live-in "Personal Assistant" aka HOUSE SLAVE to me. They are requiring a 24 hour servant (constantly available person) who can: 1. Be awake before them and then wake them up. 2. Run their bubble bath 3. Make their beds 4. Pull up their panties 5. Plan (organize, schedule) their daily lives. Be their memory and brain. 6. Be their teacher. 7. Follow them to work to light the candles in their dressing room ... like how ridiculous is this one. 8. On hand. ON CALL (aka must not have a life) to chauffeur them. 9. Be their photographer (again requiring another person's constant presence, fake patience, and time) 10. Lie for them 11. Be their Butler 12. Go grocery shopping for them and be their Cook 13. Do their laundry 14. Walk the dog Only thig left for them to say is "I need someone to wipe my a**" So basically this person must not have a life of their own because their life must revolve around the lives of their Master.
No, it goes thesame way. My mother in law is my mum. I call her mom from the go. His parents are my parents and to even disrespect them is not only to disrespect my husband, my parents but God. I will never want to be a disobedient child!
@@elizabethtimothy4776 I can never be that close to in laws, it would just be uncomfortable to me. If you divorce they're taking his side and turning on you along with him. So it's all good and family when things are good, but if things change, they won't have your best interest in mind.
It shouldn't lead to ultimatum, the person can be worst person on Earth, you as the child can decide how you want to deal with that, your spouse being supportive of your decision but not him/her telling you cut the person off for good. No!
@@elizabethtimothy4776 if that mother on law is not respecting boundaries and putting strain on the other spouse, it is not just for the other spouse to deal with. People don't go straight to an ultimatum. If the wife didnt handle her mother and get her to respect their boundaries and marriage, it's perfectly fine for the husband to say they cant do it anymore.
@@cratcliff8820 that is what happened. He asked after the mother kept taking his money and demanding he pays for everything in her life even though she used to have a job. Now she also has a low life boyfriend that her son in law "should" finanse. He had enough and demanded her out of their lives.
This!!! I think people are thinking if you put your husband first then you're pushing your parents aside. Not at all. But you and your husband are one. People go into marriage with a mindset that your spouse is replaceable. So in most people's lives their spouse is always last when they should be first.
I’m not assuming that because of course in that sense you are obviously going to choose your man but my mother is pretty much my best friend so I will choose her over anybody. That fact that man has that much entitlement asking that question thinking I would choose him is beyond me.
No man. I dont think that's the point. The problem here is, that this man is MAKING you choose. Whether you're close to your mom or not is irrelevant. But i think the question really is, are you okay with him threatening to leave if you don't do what he says? Which is to cut ties with your mom. Maybe its easy to cut ties with your mom but is it easy to know that it wasn't really your decision and someone you love put you in a position that forced you to choose. Its lowkey manipulative. If he has the balls to tell you to pick him or he'll dump you, what else could he threaten you with. Also would you really stop speaking to the person who gave birth to you, just because some man tells you to? You don't have to be close to your mom. Hell, you dont even have to like her. But the point is that if you cut her off, it should be because you've decided to on your own. Not because some man told you to. I think thats what some people are getting at
suxexa again, that’s why it’s based on the situation. You don’t even know their story or what made him even get to that point. No one is even saying that you specifically are assuming lol no one cares how close you are with your mom. That’s not the point of this comment.
It really depends on the relationship with my mother , some mothers are very toxic and aren’t looking out for the best when it comes to their daughters. Unless you have an amazing mom please protect her and your bond over any man🌿
You're absolutely correct 100%. Honestly, I think and I believe that it depends on your Mum has a person. My mum has done a lot for me that, it's rare to see such a gem like her. She has given her whole and all to her children. She ensure that we have everything she never had. She did it on her own. I don't think a man can do such for his wife honestly. I can never trade my mum for anything and anybody . I love her to pieces.
we exist! those people are just always outraged if you say anything bad about a mom! omggg my mom is sooooo amazing how dare you say anything about moms she's my best friend everything!! they are ridiculous and think everyone has the same experiences with their mother. they make it so awkward for people who can't relate.
My husband comes first! I agree with Tamara depending on the situation. If my mother needed help I would sit down with my husband and together we will come up with a solution to help her but I can't be her bank especially if my husband isn't on board.
Latinos take care of Mom and Dad its hard to separet when we get marry. Mom always come first Husban will cheat and kick you fast your Mother always gona be there. 👍
Mothers generally sacrifice a lot for their children, and I'm not talking only financially. But I agree with Tam about being situational - a mother that abandons you to have a free lifestyle is definitely not to be chosen over a man that loves and cares for you. Just an example.
"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12, I will love my husband but I will respect my parents 110% 👏🏼
Honor doesn't mean to provide their every need without reason. I agree with Tamera, it is situational. Also, you shouldn't be with a man that is not mature enough to have a an honest conversation with you and come to a compromise if the situation requires it.
Christian Soldier See the issue with that right there is you’re picking what you like from the Bible and not reading the whole thing. Yes I will leave my parents and be one with my husband, but the line of love and respect I have for my parents will not change. I will respect and love my husband, his wishes and his parents but he better respect me and my parents. Communication and Respect on both sides.
Christian Soldier Wrong God comes First then the Spouse ,but if the Spouse is not running the house accordingly then it takes a strong WOMEN to take it on.
I'm with loni on this one, jeannie you are dead wrong for that, I loved when loni said men come and go we only have one momma, I bet that hit jeannie that she had to think for a sec, you can tell by her facial expression change
I think Jeannie, made that comment base on her long feud with her mum. I was not surprised. This man that is issuing this ultimatum must not have had a strong relationship with his mum.
I think it's dependent on your family dynamics....my mom abandoned me as a child time & time again. My husband, on the other hand, is the most loyal, devoted, loving person I have ever met. I put him first because I know he's there for me. I cannot trust my mom & never will have a normal mother/daughter relationship with her. That's not my fault, it's hers.
Men come and go. Spouse don't.. how often you get married in your life time? The saying your spouse should come first seems to be forgotten. I pretty sure if a wife told her husband to chose between her or his mom, he'll have to chose the wife or he's a 'mama's boy'.
It depends on the situation, and it also depends on the day. I’m all about “family comes first” but guess what? The moment I said, “I do” my husband became my family too. ❤️
The Mom, the mom, the mom. What about the Dad? These innuendos and "issues" always seem to stem from Single Mothers who never marry, and they use their children to carry the "weight" of their "missing man". I'm sorry, that is an unfair burden to place on your children, IMO.
But you never know if thats gone be your husband forever and if y’all get divorced how you going to go back to your mom when she and you both know you value a man more then her
I think it's important to remember the relationship that Mama Mai and Jeannie had growing up. I think that's a lot of the reason as to why she might've said what she said
No, I am an atheist and have an amazing relationship with my mum and I love her to death, but I love my spouse more. I am not in love with my mum and my kids wont be made with her but with him. So we are all different. (I said I am an atheist because I dont agree with Jeannie based on the Bible, I just see it as a logical strain of events)
According to our Most High there is an order... Our Father, Husband, wife, children then it can be mom. Messing up that order will put a judgement on your entire family. Moms will get u in trouble. If moms need help then the hubby and wife talk about it and help.
All of you agreeing with Loni so how do you feel if you married a mama's boy that pick his mother over you?? We're talking about marriage here. If you already have it in your head that the man you married is replaceable then good luck to ya!
I’d choose my mom over ANYONE EVERYDAY. My momma gave me life, she gave me EVERYTHING I ever needed to become a strong, independent woman of self-respect and values. I owe my momma everything I am, everything I have, and everything I’ll ever be. My mom made me who I am. Men come and go.
First of all what you’re not gonna do is give me an ultimatum. That’s a NO. My mom is my everything, if you are gonna tell me to choose between my man or my mom, I’m gonna choose my mom. PERIODT
The answer to this depends on how toxic the parent is. Parents need to respect boundaries and some don't. In that case, sometimes you gotta cut people off. Especially with money. I'm sure there are cultural divides in these comments, but I didn't give birth to my children so they could support me when I'm old. I'm not going to mooch off them when I'm old and I sure as hell expect my mom and mother in law not to mooch off us. Helping once in a while is one thing but fully supporting a grown ass adult parent? Oh hell naw. And by the time a spouse has to give an ultimatum, it's the other spouses fault for not handling it appropriately up to that point. It probably didn't start right with an ultimatum. The moment I told you it was past the amount I'm comfortable with it should've been addressed with the parent. And this "oh he's replaceableeeeeee" bullshit. That man is my husband and father of my children. We've been married for going on 8 years. Some of y'all would really divorce your soulmate because you have a greedy mom and try to justify that greed because 30+ years ago she birthed you. I birthed my children because I wanted to raise amazing little human beings. They don't owe me anything for birthing them. The people in your home are the priority (spouse and kids). Extended family is great but there's gotta be boundaries.
People don't want to hear that. Hell some people dont even realize they have a unhealthy toxic relationship with their parents. I grew up with my mom's mother hating my dad. It was such a horrible family dynamic. What also made it worse was that my grandmother was an addict (rest her soul) so when she'd get upset because we'd leave holiday gatherings early to spend the rest of the day with our dad, you can only imagine the vitriol she'd spew. My entire childhood, there wasn't a holiday that didnt end with verbal abuse from my grandmother over my dad. But my mom still took care of everything financially for her parents until they died. It was so bad that (unbeknownst to my dad) my mom was missing mortgage payments to keep her parents lights on. My parents lost their home because of it and almost ended their marriage. Its so sad to have to even acknowledge that my parents marriage has been so much stronger since my grandparents passed away😞 I don't believe in ultimatums but I personally couldn't accept creating a family with a man who has toxic parents. I know how fucked up my family dynamic was as a child so wouldn't ever want to put my future children through that!
@Thelondonbadger They do sacrifice.....the problem is most of them don't know they will before they choose to have kids. They are also told they will be "rewarded" when the kids grow up and repay them by becoming successful, taking care of them and giving them grandkids. If people would just cut the bullshit and tell it like it is, many would choose not to have kids, and those that do wouldn't feel like they sacrificed and hold it over everyones head.
@Thelondonbadger lol your comment is outdated. you must be from outside the U.S. in the past yes, marriage was the only option unless you were an undesirable person in society, most got married. in today's world, people CHOOSE because having kids is a lifestyle choice more than anything because it takes over your life. the sacrifice varies from person to person, they give up their career, identity, time, education, future plans, dreams, goals, bodies, money, etc. to be stuck slaving after a kid 24/7 for at least 18 years. that's why we have so many angry, jealous, bitter moms that feel like you owe them something. nobody tells them what motherhood is really like.
I agree with Loni. My Mom and I are the same. She is all I had growing up in terms of parentage. If any man told me that I couldn't be there for my Mom in tough times, I would leave them in an instant! That is not right on any level.
Traditionally, your husband comes first. You are bound by him, and are one flesh with him. So why separate? You took a vow to by stand your husband, not your mom. Also, in my culture, the wife would now belong part of the husband's family so there's no going back lol
My mom is my everything. She raised me alone and worked hard to make sure I had everything I needed. My husband knows our bond and respects that. She also knows not to get involved in our marriage all the time
It’s different when she financially needs help and when she’s just asking for money and spending and spending on unnecessary things. I’d be bothered by my man giving his mom money just for her to splurge, but I wouldn’t give him an ultimatum I’d have a talk that maybe not so often or something l. People need boundaries and sadly some do take advantage of situations like this
Well, I don’t need no book telling me how to prioritize the people in my life. I think it’s natural for family to feel pushed out when a member enters a new relationship. But again, marriage is all about compromise. Men are often replaceable and the issue with marriage is that people are expected to be in for the long run. HOWEVER, it is a constant work and process and sometimes, you have to leave. Look at Jeanne, she divorced. Mothers aren’t always the best and with that, I will say it is situational. If your mom didn’t care for you at all and neglected you, get out. Any toxic relationship, get out. But if your mother was there and loved you, you can’t neglect sacrifices made. She gave you her body, her beauty, ultimately, her life and for it to be taken for granted like that, it can be painful. I think the take away here is to never neglect those who have been there for you. Form boundaries and understand your relationship with each are different. It’s like choosing between your children your spouse. You just have to be think about the basis of the relationship and never push someone who has been there out.
it really do depend on the situation because some of y’all in the comments saying you would choose your mother over anything but like if your mother was attacking your marriage wouldn’t you be like you need to back off or we can’t have a relationship
Yah no, I believe its a balance. But my mom has been their through thick a thin. A mother’s love ain’t going nowhere, but everyone’s different. A man can love you but if something were to happen, they can come and go. Overall it’s a balance, if you in a relationship where you have to choose, that’s not the right one I believe.
In a real marriage there is no "Ashley's bank account" everything is available to both parties. The man is the head decision maker on it too. This independent thinking is yet another example of why marriage is almost dead in society.
Elohim Rules - “independent thinking” is how the world evolves. If it were up to you women would have no option but to stay home, cook, clean and take care of the children. You should move to a third world country where women are considered as second class citizens.
What kind of man would make you choose between him and your mother especially you and your mom had a very strong relationship she raised you help you get through difficult times stayed up all night when you were sick going to school performances and some are a single parent and work two jobs to make ends meet all for you to grow up and turn your back on her no way that is not how it it works don't forget where you came from because you got money
Wtf? My mom sacrificed everything to raise me properly, the least I can do is to give her back what I can. Honestly, if my husband gives me such an ultimatum I would leave his ass because NO husband should tell you to choose either him, either your mom... He even should be asking you in what way he can also help!!!!!
Well I told my husband to choose between me and his cruel, narcissistic family. I dealt with their abuse for almost a decade and it was affecting my health. I couldn't deal with it anymore and told him we either have to go no contact with them or get a divorce. He chose me because he saw their cruelty. They were cruel to him too. We have been no contact for 11 years and we've never been happier. My family treats my husband great so at least we have that.
*🗣The story is Ashley's mother is married and her stepfather is the father of her little sister. Now, they do in fact help them financially..I even think they put them up in a house...Welp, the stepdad is abusive and doesn't have a job and can NEVER keep one. So Ashley's husband doesn't mind helping her mother...He's just NOT in the business of working his behind off while a PERFECTLY healthy grown man benefits on his dime!!! AND WHO COULD BLAME HIM🤷🏽♀️...Either the husband gets the boot, get a job or he's was cutting them off financially* .
absolutely love it and agree with Tamara, I think respect is crucial to solving issues like that. Mom or husband whatever the situation do the right thing with respect and love
Tamera is talking about a different topic she’s talking about parents that don’t mind their business and are always giving their unwanted opinions. This conversation was about financial support tamera.
My mom has been losing her eye sight for the last 10 years. Now my parents live with my husband and I and he is so amazing with helping and being there emotionally and understanding my moms situation and our bond. If he made me choose I choose my mother! But he would never because he can’t lose me so😝 love this topic
I love this ❤ you stand your ground girl! He knows where you stand and you’ve made it clear how important your mom and family are before being with him. He sees it and can’t try you because of it! He knows his place and like you said he don’t wanna lose you so he would absolutely never 😂. Thanks for setting that precedent cuz ppl out here getting it twisted (shade @ married ppl who think they know everything and sound really dumb sometimes lol). Because of your standards and boundaries, I know you’ll have a successful happy marriage and family 🎉
Why though? I believe it should depend on the situation, for instance if there is only one car, and mum wants to go somewhere at thesame time as the wife then the mum should be taken just because of age while the wife can wait or take Uber. No one should ever feel left out.
In relation to this particular situation Ashley's parents are toxic. Her mom didn't work and blew through 3k a month to take care of her lazy boyfriend who as well didn't work. Not to mention it was the husbands money so he had all rights to feel the way he felt.
If you got married the mom should go. If she is sick go find her a care taker. If your mom comes first then don't get married because it will be an issue.
My mom comes first no matter what because she has been there for me since day one. No man should ever put you in a situation where you have to choose between him or your mom if he loves you then he is going to understand that your mom is more important than him. Whenever that person breaks up with you who is going to be there to support you? Your mom or any other family member.
First, is this her money or his money? I’ve watched the show and it didn’t appear that Ashley worked? If you want to help your mom then I’d be sure to have my own income coming in.
I would never be in this situation. I have worked hard in finding a man that understands how important family is to me. If my man loves me he also loves my mom, that’s who made me into the woman I am today. My mom single handily raised 3 kids. My mom actually always said, “watch how a man treats his mom and that’s how they will treat you”. That’s exactly what I did and she was right! I love both my boyfriend and my mom. He gets along with my family and I get along with his family.
Never ever...bfs, men come and go. You have ONE mother. That's all you get. Again, Lonnie, I agree with you. Lonnie, is/was a engineer. She's very intelligent. My SO is a engineer. They say it as it is, are very analytical. Lonnie shut the pretentious assistant bs down.I Love her.
There's not a right or wrong answer... It always depends on the relationship you have with them 😊 And on the particular situation. Me... If my mom could throw me under the bus she would do that without thinking. So for me would be pretty easy to chose my man (not any man, my lifelong partner)
