Self neglect, it’s so gross that I’ll probably lose my teeth. Some may say I’m lazy, but unfortunately it is definitely neglect, my family taught me how not to love myself. It has been devastating, in every area of my life. So sad for anyone who suffers from anxiety / depression.
I actually had to pause this video to write this comment. I've been suffering with depression for 16 years, and have tried every medication, CBT book, therapy etc. in the world and it got me no relief. I'm only half way through this video and think that I think I may have a shot at beating this thing now! I've never heard it explained this way before. You caught my attention yesterday in another video about "behavioral activation", again another thing you'd think I would've came across over the last 16 years. Anyway, thank you for your awesome presentation and shining a brilliant light on a dark subject. Thanks to you. I'll try again! THANK YOU!
This makes a lot of sense. For 25 yrs i have went from goal to goal, adding a masters degree and various certification. Always thinking the grass was greener Somewhere else . Doing all this with with little success along the way and the whole time i’m fighting depression. Frankly I can’t remember the last time i wasn’t depressed.
This has been my rollercoaster ride for the last ten months. Thank you for posting something that gives me hope. I've fought so hard just to maintain a sliver of hope.
Just realized for the past 8 years I've been setting up very unrealistic goals for myself, and even though I'm objectively in a very good place in life right now I still feel very dissatisfied with it exactly because of these high expectations. And subconsciously I've been trying to allow myself to give up before thinking how much I would like to leave a "simple life" where I would have no big expectations from myself, no big goals to achieve, no standards to meet. But this can be my life if I want to. Thank you so much for making this video and working on your channel in general, the information you provide is very, very useful and important for everyone!
ME too. I have this level of discontent and dissatisfaction even though I am at a better place. The high expectations may be the biggest issue to that bc I am trying to figure out the future and how to take large issues when ai just started recovering and should be still working on my thoughts life, and basic self care
I’ve been doing activities that I have to, but they don’t make me feel better. It makes me feel worse because of all my self-doubt and criticism of myself. Even just sending a text back, I cringe over whatever I write hours later.
I'll be hanging for the next one. I hope it helps me. My motivation is at the bottom. To think I use to be what people called a soldier.i just kept going. Now I'm lucky to shower. I mentally beat myself up everyday even though I know not to. I'm so frustrated.
I can't say enough about this series. It's a wonderful gift to the world to summarize CBT and skills for overcoming depression and make them available to everyone.
I love this series and look forward to the upcoming episodes! This approach reminds of the Acceptance & Commitment Therapy I learned from one therapist I had.
Oh man! that energy/motivation - goal graph makes so much sense of why me expecting to wake up at 7 am is too big of an expectation considering what I have been going through. I feel like I am a human of lower self-worth if I fail to wake up and start work early. The interesting part is that setting higher baseline goals/expectations given a certain amount of energy becomes a habit and I don't feel like I've accomplished anything when on certain days I achieve those goals because on those days my baseline has somewhat climbed up even higher! such a nasty trick ...
I want to excersize, only because i look horribly sick now.. but, i have insomnia. I don't sleep anymore. I just suffer from the trauma i went through and my career job loss, etc. I the anhedonic depression is unbearable. Im worried... and afraid
Hello Dr. Nader, thank you so much for the content on your channel, it is so useful! Have you ever done a video relating to dealing with the loss of someone you loved?
I have that on my list of future videos, so I will get around to it at some point. I have posted a video on dealing with the suicide loss of a loved one - somewhat more complicated issues, but some of the ideas are similar. If you want to check that video out, you can find it here: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-8G5D1z-jLLc.html
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I deal with depression, anxiety & a miariad of health problems. I went to counseling for a couple of years to learn how to cope. But still have "well wishers " trying to tell me how to run my life & gaslighting. Its just so nice to get affirmation through this & other videos that you have. I do still have difficulties with what i want to do vs what I can do. I just found you today, & have watched 4 videos. Will now get what I can do, done. 😉
Is there any science behind this advice? I suffer from depression and anhedonia but I’ve found that completely forgetting about things that used to bring be joy was very helpful. Instead I tried all new things. I studied calculus, I took up a new instrument, I started doing yoga. Because it was all new, it was fresh and the joy came with that. If it’s a loss of joy with your kids, try doing something new with them. Maybe a cooking class together or pottery/art, anything novel to you both.
I like the image of that old fashioned water pump: when you start pumping, it might take a while before the water appears. I'll be taking that image along on my life's journey.
The aha moment for me from this video is one of my unrealistic expectations is to 100% overcome depression and anxiety. So when I am in a "good" period and then suddenly fall back into (even a little) chronic anxiety, depression, health anxiety etc. I get so DOWN on myself that I spiral into deeper negative emotional and mental states. I'm learning to accept that I may never be 100% "cured" and that when I am in a rough spot I can see it like an observer watching this thing stopping by for a while and will, with tools like CBT and mindfulness and perseverance, eventually show itself the door. Maybe it will come back, hopefully not, but I want to believe I can and will deal with it either way, and protect my happiness meantime best I can. Perhaps that is a cognitive thing (though behavioral too in that I need to physically be mindful, meditate etc.). But there are certainly other more regular goals/expectations that I can consider more realistically when in a rough patch, like the list of things that usually would give me pleasure, and this is great advice on how to address those behaviorally (the water well analogy cant ever be unlearned now, its so perfectly practical!)
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I made a video discussing pitfalls in recovering from depression and you can find that here if you're interested: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-fycFeikIYWk.html
Do you make these videos in the middle of the night while others are sleeping? Sometimes I get that twinge of anxiety like you might be waking or disturbing someone because of your restrained vibe. Thank you for putting out this content. You are helping thousands of people.
I think it may be due to the low background sound, it's setting a disturbing vibe to the unconcius perception of the listener. Sounds like this are used in thrillers and horrors to set the audience off into an earie paranoic mood and keep people engaged inbetween the more dramatic scenes with louder and more obvious sounds.
@@SeamannonLOL. That’s funny. I always like videos more when there’s no music or background noise but I never thought of it being weird. Now I’m going to try to listen for what you’re talking about.
@@tnijoo5109 I'd definitely like the video more without that noise. Background music makes only sense when it's aligned with the video, it has to compliment the message, set the right mood for it or at least be neutral like elevator music that you wouldn't be able to recall after leaving a particular space.
@@Seamannon yeah! I know what you mean! That’s true. In these videos I never noticed anything eerie even when I was listening for it but I liked your description. 👍
The cbt model leaves out fundamental things like physiology and environment and isn't convincing but the other two sections are. Energy and motivation is easy to grasp and see and ties in nicely with things like spoon theory.
I tried this and it helped for awhile but i have someone in my life who won't let me continue this. He is pushing me to do more then I can handle and now I'm ready to give up altogether. He just wants to help but doesn't understand its pushing me in a dangerous direction. Things that are easy for him are much more difficult for me and he thinks I don't try. Maybe i don't but why should I do things that make me stress out to the point i just want to end it all. Like i said small and easy for him huge and difficult for me. In a situation now where im just about to just say goodbye world im out.
How to become Driven towards professional development & career goals if there are a lot of Distractions from uncertainty of path to numbness to imagining worst case scenario to inaction to build plan etc..
Have you taken a look at some of the videos I've done on intolerance of uncertainty and excessive worry? You can find them here: ru-vid.com/group/PLG_XiSJeP3s3uiRj-4CNEUn2qoK3mLAzD
What if you have to do stuff that’s beyond your current level? Like, I have to write an important email and this task ruined yesterday and is feeling overwhelming today. I have to do it today though. These are the things that make me feel awful about myself. And always feeling the shame of having to hide the way I am right now, trying to pretend I’ve got it together. Advice, anyone?
The only advice I can give is to try to break the larger goals down into smaller bits and pieces, like I explain in this video: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-UT572CCueIs.html
@@DrRamiNader I actually watched that one a few days ago and I had written in the comments that I would watch the video again and again. LOL. It’s a really good video. For writing the email though, there was no way to break it down. And after I wrote it, I got a reply an hour later so I only had to write another email. I did it. I’m trying to just do those things and get them out if the way instead of letting them ruin my day. Waiting makes everything way worse. No more waiting! Just tackling the things. The sooner I do things, the better it is. So I try to remember that but it’s hard. Thanks again.
Why did you add this low humming sound as the backtrack for this video? It's a strange choice for a video that is supposed to give uplifting advice for people who feel already down, very dissonant and disturbing. 😅 The advice seems reasonable and helpful, but the background sound ruins it for me, to be honest.
@@DrRamiNader I didn't realise that air condition could make that sound, if that's the case, you may need a different mic or adjust the settings so that it doesn't pick up the background noise. I tried to listen to this video again because I didn't remember if the noise was really that bad, but I had to stop the video after a few seconds. Maybe I'm too sensitive, I hope others are able to enjoy your video, I have to pass. Good luck with your future recordings! :)
