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Grieving the loss of musician we used to be 

The Mindful Pianist
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Did you know that recovery from musician's focal dystonia is possible? Good news...it is! Growing number of musicians have resolved focal dystonia symptoms and many who have, have done so by training.
These series of video is an attempt to share some of the self-training ideas and techniques that has been proven effective by me (Akiko Trush) and some of my fellow MFD colleagues. Training requires a lot of patience, but by grasping few key ideas and by having some persistence, recovery is possible. It's about consciously working on freeing every little movement one micro step at a time. The key is to be observant and to learn a little bit about why you might be experiencing the symptoms, what really is going on and how to break down the steps and most important of all, have a free mind.
In this video, I talk about grieving the loss of musician that I used to be and how accepting the condition was the first big step that I took to start experiencing changes.
The so called 5 stages of grief perfectly narrates how I eventually came in terms with Musicians Focal Dystonia and how I accepted the condition.
The 5 emotional stages of grief is classified as DENIAL ANGER BARGAINING DEPRESSION AND ACCEPTANCE.
I think I've grieved the loss of musician I used to be and walked through those stages of grief, and even went through some of the stages back and forth multiple times.
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13 авг 2017

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Комментарии : 18   
@eduardowhitlam4179
@eduardowhitlam4179 11 месяцев назад
I just wanted to thank you so much for your videos and for so generously sharing your story with us. I have dystonia at the moment and feel that i am beginning my process and your videos give so much hope for recovery. Arigatou Akiko.
@gunso9068
@gunso9068 6 лет назад
thanks god she didn't chop off her neck, cuz she's there helping others with amazing videos n advice...thanks akiko for helping the other FD victims
@derekcutsinger3511
@derekcutsinger3511 6 лет назад
I'm so glad I found this channel. I'm a guitarist who's been dealing with focal dystonia for almost 10 years now. There finally seems to be a lot more information about it on the internet, but back then most people thought it was all just in my head. It was so debilitating that I had to drop out of my master's program, quit teaching and performing, and basically hang up the guitar. Only recently have I gathered the determination to do whatever it takes to play again. I don't care about finishing my degree or performing professionally again, but even to begin describing a life of ignoring music for nearly a decade is too hard to put into words. Thank you for sharing your process and thoughts!
@themindfulpianist8606
@themindfulpianist8606 6 лет назад
Thank you! I agree, we can not ignore music as a musician. Your sheer determination and real purpose is probably all you need to start seeing things that you have never came across when you gave it all up before. Good luck to you.
@lancemorrison8496
@lancemorrison8496 3 года назад
Hi Derek. I too have dystonia. I'd love to hear how the last 3 years have been and what you've discovered or experienced.
@derekcutsinger3511
@derekcutsinger3511 3 года назад
@@lancemorrison8496 Well, you probably won't want to hear this but I cut my losses and moved on to other forms of artistic expression.
@lancemorrison8496
@lancemorrison8496 3 года назад
@@derekcutsinger3511 I am sorry to hear that. I hope that you're finding joy in your new endeavors. If you'd ever like to share your feelings or frustrations feel free to contact me. I'm sure I've had those same feelings.
@pararova
@pararova 6 лет назад
Thank you very much for sharing your experience. I, as a trombonist, are living their own experience. Your videos are very encouraging, especially since I have been able to prove the usefulness of accepting the condition and working on recovery without neglecting our emotional response to the subject.
@markbdubois2342
@markbdubois2342 6 лет назад
Thank you for sharing your story so openly and honestly. It is a great gift.
@Cynjim4eva
@Cynjim4eva 4 года назад
Thank you! I found this profoundly effective. I myself have lost a professional career as a guitarist because of a similar condition now for 5 or so years. Thank you for this.
@mysterytomastery1
@mysterytomastery1 4 года назад
This is stunningly beautiful and amazingly delivered. So many thinks ring true with a couple of students of mine and I am doing a LOT of research and this is such an honest and REAL example. Thank you sincerely for sharing your traumatic yet enlightened experience, I'm sure you are helping many people accept/slay the beast!!!
@fusion-music
@fusion-music 6 лет назад
Thank you for the video. Whether a person has focal dystonia or not, every musician should record their performances whether or not they intend to post it online. keep recordings on computers. When you have or suspect something is wrong, you have a reference to how you played. Professionals know that we have a tendency to remember things wrong & think we were better in the past at performing. So they try to convince us our memory is wrong and there is nothing wrong and we just need to keep trying (and learn the correct methods). Recordings though cannot be argued with. We know if it is good or not. The problem is that we can get confused and doubt whether we know what is going on with our body. Seeing as focal dystonia will only manifest itself in people who are performing technical tasks - like soldering electronics, playing and instrument (even wind instruments), we really should give some importance to recording what we do.
@andrewaguilar9236
@andrewaguilar9236 4 года назад
Akiko,I must thank you for your amazing insight on this condition.I have not "officially" been diagnosed with "task specific focal dystonia",but I am 100% positive I have lived with this for 4 years now.The way you conveyed your self perception of this condition,I felt that you were speaking for myself.I instantly connected with you on such a deep level,You have given me much more strength and inspiration to overcome this.Not being able to play and perform my Bach or even Strunz and Farah music (the latter being "picked" music,because I have this condition in both hands in the pinky and ring fingers),Has destroyed me at times,although being a driven person,I always have managed to move forward and continue the fight to progress.Thank you again,I very much appreciate the beauty you contribute to our world!😊
@TheNorbert2010
@TheNorbert2010 Год назад
You give so much hope, thank you. Would you mean, that your way of rebirth also works to a trombne player, where not tension is the obvious main problem, but an extremely uncontrollable embouchure?
@anastasiiatcukanova7161
@anastasiiatcukanova7161 3 года назад
💓💓💓
@dimitriskiortsis677
@dimitriskiortsis677 5 лет назад
Hello and thank you very much for the video. I am (or rather was) earning a living by playing and teaching guitar, but I was diagnosed with focal dystonia just yesterday. I can't play any more and I was forced to cancel gigs and recordings and the promotion of my album, all my plans and dreams and pretty much all my life are now destroyed. Can you please clarify 2 points I didn't quite understand after watching your video? 1. What exactly do mean by being reborn as a musician? 2. Can you now play as comfortably and fluently, as fast and as well coordinated as you used to play? Thanks again
@lancemorrison8496
@lancemorrison8496 3 года назад
Hi Dimitris. I have dystonia too and I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I've managed to work around my issues. How have you managed the last couple of years?
@Bob31415
@Bob31415 4 года назад
Akiko, I'm sorry but I'm a bit confused. I was under the impression from previous videos that you had overcome FD. Are you saying you can play again but you still feel like you are not your old self? Could you explain? Thank you!
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