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GROUCHO MARX: Legendary Laughter in Memorable Quotes

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Groucho Marx (1890-1977), was an iconic American comedian, actor, and writer. As the third of the Marx Brothers, he gained fame for his sharp wit, distinctive mustache, and irreverent humor. The Marx Brothers achieved success in vaudeville, Broadway, and Hollywood, with Groucho as the quick-witted, wisecracking character often delivering memorable one-liners. Groucho's humor was characterized by clever wordplay, satirical commentary, and a unique blend of sarcasm and charm.
Groucho Marx's enduring legacy lies not only in his comedic brilliance but also in the timeless wisdom encapsulated in his memorable quotes that continue to bring laughter and insight to audiences around the world.
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24 дек 2023

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Комментарии : 172

@roger_melly5025 7 месяцев назад

My favourite GM quote "I would never join any club that would accept me as a member"

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

Love it too

@festeradams3972 7 месяцев назад

Might have been groucho, but I recall one quote that said, as I recall, I sent a letter and a photo to the lonely hearts club."..."They sent it back and said they weren't that lonely..." Might have been Rodney Dangerfield though.

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

This is a good one

@festeradams3972 7 месяцев назад

I seem to recall one more quote from Groucho from his TV show way back when. He asked a woman guest her age. She said "approaching 40." Groucho said "from which direction"....

@roger_melly5025 7 месяцев назад

@@festeradams3972 So funny 🤣

@Kevin-mx1vi 7 месяцев назад

Couldn't choose a worse robot voice to take all the humour of Groucho Marx quotes.

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

Thanks for your comment. Well noted. We will try to improve for future videos.

@mikep1556 7 месяцев назад

That's exactly what I thought.

@bungee7503 7 месяцев назад

Turn the sound off and read.

@Kevin-mx1vi 7 месяцев назад

@@bungee7503 That's exactly what I did. Couldn't bear that ridiculous voice.

@JohnCasserly 7 месяцев назад

Exactly what I thought as I stopped the video after 3 quotes. It literally is "the way you tell em'"

@JimC 7 месяцев назад

Without giving the source of the quotes (movie, books), attributing them to Groucho is at the very least doubtful. There are a few I recognize from Marx Brothers movies, but about half of them don't sound like him at all. As Abraham Lincoln said, "Don't trust random unsourced quotes on the Internet or the people who post them."

@chaplainmattsanders4884 7 месяцев назад

😂

@sureshot8399 6 месяцев назад

Nope, not "Honest Abe", that was Genghis Khan, 9th October 1223 at The Bucket of Blood Pub in Cornwall, England after a Scotch egg and a wank.

@MrLenoir99 7 месяцев назад

He had another wonderful quip on TV : People say television is anti-education. I disagree. When someone switches it on, I go in the next room and read a book.

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

This is a good one 👍

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html The video features the quote you mentioned.

@bigjake6044 7 месяцев назад

One of my favorite Groucho quotes: "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

This is a good one 😂

@brain5prain 7 месяцев назад

Ha! I was married by a judge, 30 years ago, in his chambers. My wife was his court reporter. Happily, I feel no regrets not having a jury. But great line...Had not heard that one before.

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

Thanks for sharing your experience 👍

@sigmaoctantis1892 7 месяцев назад

"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?"

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

@Rick_King 7 месяцев назад

Groucho was a brilliant comic, who left behind so many wonderful quotes. "What have future generations ever done for us?" But the narrator actually managed to make Groucho sound boring. Too bad you couldn't have found original audio of Groucho saying these things, or at least gotten a Groucho impersonator.

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

Thanks for your comment. We will improve for future videos.

@brain5prain 7 месяцев назад

I agree about the lackluster narration. I think it sounds better with the audio off. (Right, Groucho?)

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

Thanks for your comment. Well noted. We keep learning and will improve for future videos.

@jsl151850b 7 месяцев назад

Set playback speed to 1.25 normal speed.

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

@grimTales1 7 месяцев назад

On reading he said "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read"

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

This is a good one

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

@onurb9400 7 месяцев назад

Loved those quotes. 😂

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

Agreed

@SiqueScarface 7 месяцев назад

0:55 A similar quote is appearing in the Gallettiana, a collection of memorable slips of the tongue by Johann Georg August Galletti, from 1789 to 1819 teacher at the Gymnasium illustre in Gotha, Germany. His 34th slip is quoted as "Charilaus wurde sehr jung geboren" (Charilaus was born very young).

@stevenpollard5171 7 месяцев назад

I have always liked Groucho’s lines. When I read that many of his movie lines were “insults,” I appreciated them even more!

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

😂

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html

@Rick_King 7 месяцев назад

Groucho Marx offered to marry Margaret Dumont, and another woman, as well. Indignant, Margaret said "That's bigamy!" Groucho replied "That's big o' me, too!"

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

Good one

@kenttm42 7 месяцев назад

While walking the gangplank to an ocean liner, she asked him if he had everything. Groucho replied, "I haven't had any complaints yet."

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html

@keithnaylor1981 6 месяцев назад

The best and funniest programme on RU-vid is YOU BET YOUR LIFE with Groucho.

@Open-Quote 6 месяцев назад

Agreed 👍

@stevenpollard5171 7 месяцев назад

Woman in movie,”Hold me closer! Hold me closer!” Groucho,”Madam, if I held you any closer, I’d be behind you.”

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

Good one

@OLDMUSICJOHNNY 7 месяцев назад

I remember that one, I even have the movie. Marx Brothers were unique in the Cinema History.

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html

@Voodoomaria 7 месяцев назад

Mi\y favourite quote of his is: "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend..... Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read".

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

This is a good one

@Voodoomaria 7 месяцев назад

@@Open-Quote Groucho lived in New York City, and frequently took lunch at a sidewalk deli. One day while lunching with friends, a minister stopped by his table and said " I'd like to thank you for all the joy you've brought into this world" Without pausing Groucho responded "And I'd like to thank you for all the joy you've taken out of it." His wit was fast, and razor sharp.

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

@christopherdunne7848 2 месяца назад

“Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like bananas.”-Groucho Marx

@balfa8876 7 месяцев назад

Those quotes are brilliant 😂

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

We agree 👍

@csnide6702 7 месяцев назад

" I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member" is my favorite ..... But Open Quote should have SPENT a couple dollars and found actual quotes and USED GROUCHO's VOICE !

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

@csnide6702 2 месяца назад

@@Open-Quote will do .... good work !

@thomaskember3412 7 месяцев назад

I always thought the quote about your brains falling out was from Bertrand Russell.

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

We will check

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html

@007JHS 7 месяцев назад

Why not pay a few bucks for an even half decent comedian to have read these with a bit of intonation and expression.

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

Thanks for your comment. This is a new channel and we keep learning. We wish to improve for future videos.

@normanstewart7130 7 месяцев назад

I'd do it for nothing!

@007JHS 7 месяцев назад

@@normanstewart7130 Don't sell yourself cheaply.... but I do really see the point you're making.

@philspencelayh5464 7 месяцев назад

I started reading it with the sound off and could hear Groucho saying it in my head, then turned up the volume and it fell flat.

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

@billolsen4360 7 месяцев назад

Love the Plastic Surgeon one the best, but they're all solid gold.

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

Agreed

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html

@philb4462 7 месяцев назад

It's such a shame the voice used on this takes out the joy of these great quotes.

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

Thanks for your comment. Well noted. We keep learning and will improve for future videos.

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

@philb4462 2 месяца назад

@@Open-Quote Better, but it still sounds more like a documentary than an entertainer.

@justanamerican9024 7 месяцев назад

I miss him. One of the greatest minds of the 20th century.

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

He was indeed

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html

@GregZO6 7 месяцев назад

Great quotes, horrendous presentation

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

Thanks for your comment. Well noted. We keep learning and will improve for future videos.

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

@Jeansieguy 7 месяцев назад

I especially love the natural sounding AI voice

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

Thanks for your comment. Well noted. We keep learning and will improve for future videos.

@m3photo726 7 месяцев назад

⁠@@Open-QuoteThis is not a case of learning but rather an initial “couldn’t care” approach, insulting the author in the process. Not paying a human narrator is a cheap attitude that won’t be solved by a spineless “will improve” reply.

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

@walrtbstudios5430 7 месяцев назад

Why not have these read by an actor? Or even me- I know where the stresses go in English.

@brucekuehn4031 7 месяцев назад

No one can read out loud anymore? This voice sounds like he is a mortician.

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

Thanks for your comment. Well noted. We will improve for future videos

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

@robertloveless4938 9 дней назад

During Groucho's television game show, he asked a contestant how many children he had. The contestant said "Nine". Groucho: NINE? WHY SO MANY? answer: I love my wife. GROUCHO'S REPLY : " WELL, I LOVE MY CIGAR, TOO. BUT I TAKE IT OUT EVERYONCE IN A WHILE."

@Open-Quote 8 дней назад

Very good one 😂

@kenttm42 7 месяцев назад

My favorite: When i was in Africa, i shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

Love this one :)

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html

@michaelcase8574 7 месяцев назад

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

This is good one

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

@soulhealingquotes 7 месяцев назад

It's so lovely. Just looking at it is healing. nice to meet you. It is an honor to have such a good relationship. I want to hold your precious hand ?? and go to the end. Please enjoy watching your precious video and cheering for it. New Friend Here, Hope Your Cooperation.

@KW-gb9cd 7 месяцев назад

I thought that quote at 2:31 was by W. C. Fields.

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

Thanks for your comment. It looks like this quote is sometimes associated to W.C. Fields and sometimes to Groucho Marx. The challenge of quotes is to identify the first author.

@mark-anthonyconti684 7 месяцев назад

Watch this with the volume OFF

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

@Allegedly2right 7 месяцев назад

Who can top him not many if any.

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

We agree

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html

@mademoiselledusfonctionell1609 7 месяцев назад

Haha, he saw wokeness coming: "Be open minded, but not so open minded that your brains fall out."

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

This is a good one

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html

@davidwright9318 7 месяцев назад

Ridiculous, not allowing Groucho his voice

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html

@sverrearnes7769 4 месяца назад

Wise word read by AI.

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

@mistymeaner1753 7 месяцев назад

Proof that AI can make ANYTHING sound stupid. Very poor comic delivery. 🌟

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

Thanks for your comment. We will improve for future videos.

@mistymeaner1753 7 месяцев назад

Just find someone who can read! A real person! You can't have AI deliver comedy quotations. It's just a ridiculous idea, and an insult to every comedian and storyteller since Mark Twain. Don't lean on this AI crutch. It can't be this fuckin hard to find a human being who can read short sentences. This can't be.

@danstrayer111 7 месяцев назад

@@mistymeaner1753 And, for someone like Groucho Marx, there must be hundreds of people who can mimmic his voice. The robotic voice for this and hundreds of other videos is a ridiculous turn-off.

@mistymeaner1753 7 месяцев назад

@@danstrayer111 I HATE that shit! Bogus as fuck!

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

@davemattia 6 месяцев назад

Speed up this video if you want to watch it -- It sounds like a snail is reading it.

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

@alangunn7254 6 месяцев назад

It's wonderful that these quotes are so witty and insightful, that they are still slightly funny when voiced by an AI actor that sounds like putty!

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

@autonomouscollective2599 7 месяцев назад

Groucho’s wrong. I had no plan to watch this video.

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

We are glad you did it

@roberthughes9856 7 месяцев назад

You also cannot start a plan without a plan. Once you plan to do something then you have a plan to start planning to do something so you had a plan to plan. If you have no plan to start planning then you do not have, and will not have, a plan and will not begin planning so not having a plan to plan means you don't plan in the future. I'll go away now.

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html

@irenerosenberg3609 7 месяцев назад

If you are not lucky enough to have heard and seen Groucho on TV, please watch some videos of him, especially of his game show, "You Bet Your Life". Having seen Groucho on TV, I can see and hear him in my mind as I read the quotes in the video. It's best to mute this video and just read the quotes, cause the narrator terrible.

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

Thanks for your comments. We are still learning and wish to improve for future videos

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

@PC-kd7dj 7 месяцев назад

The voice sounds like a depressed robot: monotonous in tone, volume, speed, emphasis….

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

@danstrayer111 7 месяцев назад

too bod someone couldn't narrate this. Just plain lazy.

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

Thanks for your comment. Well noted. We will improve for future videos

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

@johnhuwroberts7766 7 месяцев назад

The commentary is despicable.

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

@kellymcclendon6601 7 месяцев назад

He's good. Really good. But not as good as Yogi Berra.

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

Agreed he is good

@shaystern2453 7 месяцев назад

horrible AI voice

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

Thanks for your comment. This is a new channel and we keep learning. We wish to improve for future videos.

@GregZO6 7 месяцев назад

@@Open-Quote Goodness, I doubt you will ever learn enough to do justice to this! "Have a nice day"

@Open-Quote 7 месяцев назад

We will try to improve. Groucho was such a brilliant guy, we may not be able to do him justice

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

@paulross6727 7 месяцев назад

Great quotes ruined.

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

@paulsullivan931 5 месяцев назад

The robot voice absolutely sucks 😡

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html We listened to your comment. Thanks

@kaskar Месяц назад

Delivery is all wrong. He’s butchering it

@CromemcoZ2 7 месяцев назад

OMG what a horrible voice for Groucho quotes! Thumbs down.

@Open-Quote 2 месяца назад

Please check out our new video with additional Groucho Marx's quotes read by a voice actor: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fZi2V7-bhE.html We listened to your comment. Thanks