I'm so proud of myself for following most of these. I'm 25 and find people's lack of etiquette barbaric 😂 and seriously I am not high class, it's just basic manners to be honest with you.
Haha same here :).....when i saw this video, i was a bit worried that I might be doing things that were rude unknowingly. But, I'm pleased it just reinstated things that i'm already aware of and practicing. The core of this video is just to be polite, considerate, and look presentable.
I find today's society challenging. My mother was the dinner party queen, and having grown up being taught etiquette, interacting with young people today is not something I enjoy. The greeting "Hey", is like fingernails on a blackboard.
I am finding myself suffocated by people with bad etiquette. Being left to wait in the street for 40 minutes, birthday party invitation one day ahead leaving me with no time to pick a proper present, or my partner insisting we should NOT bring a bottle of wine to a party. I am feeling run down because this is day to day battle already, people just can't behave these days. Just the other day I received a present and this girl asked if she can borrow it straight away!!!!! I really need to upgrade my social circle
Dont know why reading your comment makes me laugh.But yes upgrade.But start being the change you want to see.Start doing them yourself,and very soon or later they would take notice of your elegant attitude,which will definetly inspire some.I started trading my bad habits for elegance,and it has not been unnoticed.All thanks to Anna.
You can share this video on your social media, friends&family, and maybe start a discussion. Get most of your circle on the same page! Not everyone likes wine, but maybe there are other things they wish people would think about prior coming to the event. Even those who usually say "don't need anything " always need something. It could be that they are not comfortable voicing it openly. Another tip: host a party at your home and you will understand what's missing very quickly. It may take a few times or so.... Once you do it yourself, you are more aware of what to do/to bring etc when being invited.
I can relate to you 100%! I went over to my sister's place at the beginning of June 2019 and brought 2 bottles of good wine for her and her husband to enjoy. On the morning of June 8, it was my sister's B-Day and I texted her a B-Day card and my own greeting. She never acknowledged my card, etc. A week later, she sent me a "Hi" text. I responded to that text a week later!! She is my biological sister but I think she is VERY RUDE AND AN IMMATURE GAME-PLAYER, and I don't deserve her rudeness!! So, I am going to have to discard her from my social circle and/or altogether avoid her. This is not the first time she is soooo rude and arrogant and I am not sure what her point is! Her husband can be very rude and nasty also.
oh I hate it when people arrive late. I used to invite a friend for morning coffee and she would show up 45minutes late for a 30 minute coffee break, then stay for over 2 hours letting her kids run around my house like mad (for info I am a mum too). It is just so rude. And yet - when I eventually said something about it she was so upset that I was being rude for not understanding that she has a busy life. She doesn't get invited to my house anymore. :)
There are people who are unaware of time because they don't have time boundaries. And for those friends I am very selective when I will answer their call or invite them over. I still appreciate their friendship. But have to control when I am willing to give that sort of engagement can happen.
I appreciate your comment on this issue. I have had issues with people not receiving my boundaries very well. I deal with them all differently depending on different situations.
I just had an evening party and one of my guests showed up two hours late and brought her two very rowdy young children. I didnt think I had explicitly state that this cocktail party wasnt for kids. Needless to say, shes not invited next time.
Thank you for discussing bringing a gift. I’ve known my boyfriend’s parents nearly 4 years, and they’re a wealthy family who want for nothing. They just finished building their newest home and even though I’m very close to them, I still brought some amazing wine, and also goods from their favorite bakery. Small things like this make a HUGE difference. Her other son and his new girlfriend brought nothing. The son MAYBE able to get away with that, but his girlfriend should have known better than to enter the home empty handed. Especially since it was her first time coming over. The mother took me aside after lunch to thank me again for the gifts, and hinted how upset she was that her son and his new girlfriend came with nothing. She reiterated again how much she loved me lol. You don’t have to bring the moon and the stars with you. But you need to show that you appreciate being invited over and welcomed into someone else’s home. It makes ALL the difference.
I would not judge the girlfriend as the other son likely had a role in the situation. I say this from how my husband dealt with things with his parents. He was taught such things but he did such things to test his parents early in our relationship. It is the role of the son to assure the girlfriend is properly introduced to his family and this dynamic continues into marital life.
Anna, this is exactly how I, and many of us Ladies in The South, were raised. I hate that graciousness is being lost in favor of constant self gratification. I used to love to host events and parties, I was good at it, it gave people a reason to come together and have fun. But over the years it lost it's pleasure for me as people broke every rule (not RSVPing and backing out at the last minute were the worst offenses). I rarely ever host events now. I would offer one more piece of guest advice. If you are going to an event at someone's home, and you see the host having to attend a lot to the business of the party, even if they have staff to execute the party, always ask, and mean it, "How can I help?" (In my experience, those are 4 words that that can take you very far in any society.) Most of the time the host will refuse your help, after all, you are their guest, but you will leave your host with the knowledge that you are someone who is giving, instead of just being there to consume.
@Kathryn B.... I was just 'fixing' to reply with how I am from Alabama....and manners our bred into us from early childhood on.... So thank you for already mentioning GRITS (Girls Raised In The South)
I'm in the same situation. I used to enjoy hosting but bad manners turned me off. Example of what not to do as a guest: tell your older children in front of your host (me) that they don't have to eat the food since they are already making faces and whining that they don't like what's been prepared. Wow! I had no words! They haven't been invited back to my home since.
Etiquette rules when you are a guest. 1. Always RSVP. 2. Don't go with a plus one...before asking. 3. Never go empty handed. 4.Respect the dress code. 5. Eat something before going. 6. Be on time. 7. No phones. 8. Don't start a fight. 9. Leave on time.
I love your channel Anna. I am not looking for a man I am here because of society, fashion, manners videos, I want to be a classy lady in my every day life. Thank you!
You teach exactly how I was taught growing up. Especially the part about never arriving to a party hungry. She always fed me before going to any event since I was small. Some people would laugh at it saying it is too extreme, but it makes sense to me.
I don't even leave home if i am hungry. Unless it's out of necessity and obvious reason to get food. I can't think straight or make decisions when my head is cloudy!
I always learn alot of these things from my mom because they we were a black lower class family my mom made it a point to make sure we had manners when over other family members and friends homes. Nice to know that mom has some class 😁
Kanika Haggins Yes! We should appreciate the other generation. They’re a lot wiser & classy than we are. Social media & Tv is misleading our generation.
As a young child my parents always told me that if I make a commitment I cannot cancel it for something that sounds more fun. A commitment is a commitment.
I was raised in a financially challenged middle class family. I am blessed that my mother taught me how to behave when invited to a social event. Thank you for teaching.
I’m not an upper echelon person but where I’m from we always bring something to the hosts it’s just traditional culture and I’m glad I’ve learned this from my childhood
It's probably more important to bring something to people whom don't keep a staff, than to a host or hostess who has delegated most things. It's not a box to leave unchecked though.
Thuy Linh Duong yes my mama always bring cake or traditional dish everywhere we’ve been invited is just normal etiquette for me I’ll surely do the same.
I completely agree with everything you said 🌼 I'd also add for people not to complain about the food, beverages or venue ... it's so uncomfortable if somebody is whispering negative comments to you, it's not pleasant to be associated with the critic! That's my pet peeve, people being unappreciative. Thank you for sharing 🌼🌸🌼
Everyone in our circle used to always comment on how the food was StRangE only because it was something new they have never tasted before, or how they can make it better and tastier than we did. All they get now is cheap crackers and balloney and they love it. To each their own.
Certainly my number one complaint about inviting people over. I once got a reply to a dinner invitation for the whole family - "I'm pretty sure we'll make it", or "we'll be there unless...........". She ended up calling the day before to cancel because another family member decided to come visit them. I was highly offended. Now, when I issue a casual invitation, I give them parameters like - "Let me know by Wednesday, etc."
This was known as excellent advice for women hundreds of years ago, it is mentioned in "Gone with the Wind" A lady is supposed to look ready for conversation at any time, and not be too occupied with chewing
Every time I watch your videos I feel more gulity about judging you and your channel negatively upfront without even making an effort to explore your content. You've got a lot to teach all of us🙌
@@AnnaBeyOfficial I felt ashamed that I was so judgemental. Is it just me or are woman nurtured and brought up in such a way to be competitive against each other? And i am only 19, better try to nip this bad habit in the bud.
Twinkle Agarwal omg girl, if I was 19 and found Anna and other like her I would make the most out of my life. There s no shame in anything that makes us happy and let me tell you there a no happiness either to struggle everyday and hoping one day you will “make it”. Don’t work hard, work smart ☺️
@@twinklenailsit their advice is total garbage. Hard work is a part of life. It builds character. Then you can truly appreciate your accomplishments because you earned them. Hard work is very satisfying to the soul. This souless lady is preparing society to be taken over by European elite socialist totalitarians. And btw her advice will not stop the inevitable and unfortunate things in life from happening. You could do everything she says and still suffer a huge loss be it the death of a spouse, a house burned down, declining health. You just never know. So don't burn your bridges with people who genuinely care about you just because according to Ana they are "average folk". You may need those people one day if you're down and out. The rich people who became your friends based on your net worth most likely won't be.
Hey @@karaa7595 ! I am going to have to agree and disagree with you on this. Some of her advice is ...umm.. controversial, to put it gently, but I've gotten some great styling tips from her. And i definitely don't believe in burning bridges with average people. And a big believer in hard-work. Not all of her advice is garbage though. I try to learn from everyone and only take away things that I know would help me and that agree with my own conscience and ethics😇 No hate💖
I really admire the way you speak. What does it take to master your voice and eloquence? Hiring a speech therapist, acting classes or just practice? Would be great to see a video on this topic!
Just practice. Even if it's just to yourself in a mirror. I remember Anna saying she used to have a potty mouth, but corrected it. So, practice ladies ❤
I find myself talking fast due to having family members or just people around me talking over me or just toone off when I speak. I don't want to bore people.
This is one of Anna,s best videos! I always bring my host or hostess something ( wine, a cake ) but if my guest doesn't bring anything, I'm OK with that. I also try hard to be on time, but in some countries you have to be flexible about this. In some countries, like Japan and Germany, punctuality is super important. In other countries, well, just accept if you say the dinner starts at 7pm, people will arrive at 7:30. Anna is right that you should leave on time. Let me add something: don,t arrive too early! It,s stressful for me when a guest arrives 90 early and I have to entertain her while prepping for he party.
Yes Anna! Thank you for addressing people cancelling last minute bc they are "tired" or do not feel like attending. This is one of my biggest pet peeves and cannot understand why people think this is acceptable behavior this day and age. It's terrible! I make myself attend events if I have said I would, even if I'm not necessarily feeling like it, because I would never want to do that to someone.
Anna, you are hilarious. I finally found someone who teaches like I used to when I was a public school teacher; your vocabulary, the way you model proper behavior/and improper behavior, your detailed examples, and your patient, non-shaming way. I never talked down or above my students, and I was always honest. Thank you
One of the best videos you have posted. Well said and I will definitely be showing my students this one. A point I would like to add (which for me is an art which has been lost over time) is for one to send a handwritten thank you note to your host even if you have said goodbye to them after an event. It a really nice touch and bonus if this is a networking event your host could keep you in mind for future opportunities. 💗
Yes a thank you after every event! Some do it even after funeral etc. Everyone has their own opinion on this. Personally I think a grieving 👪 has enough going on. A family friend can do it if done in this case!
I'm a retired educator of almost 30 years. Everything you taught in this video should be a required course for every teenager and most milligrams. Well done!
Also never take what you bring with you when you leave, ie: any leftover food you brought or unfinished bottles of wine or alcohol. I cringe when I see people do that!
THIS!! I cringe. I can't imagine a third of a bottle of wine being more important and valuable than your dignity, respect, and class. And this is probably a 'me' problem, but I always remember and think of them differently. I try to be gracious, but geez, there is a line.
Good common sense this is and a very helpful video for someone like me whos parents never taught any of this stuff. I'm an old lady now but I don't think it is too late for me to learn :)
I think my mom raised me really well. I already apply 90% of these tips. Thanks to Anna, I'm 100% aware of all the dos and don'ts. Thanks beautiful lady
These points are common courtesy, such a shame that there is even a need for this video. I cancelled my own birthday party due to lack of RSVPs, I had no idea how many guests to expect and was so disappointed at the lack of good manners and respect.
fip62 for my wedding so many people brought plus 1’s or didn’t rsvp and showed up or RSVP’d and didn’t show up. It was insane and that lack of courtesy costs me over $2k in additional fees for no shows via cashiers check the day of my wedding. LIVID
@@avonnemejia7861 I can so relate. At least you know who to keep at arm's length from here on in. It really is frustrating for the host and disgustingly rude for your guests to treat an important and expensive day like your wedding, so frivolously. No class at all.
I agree with all of the points. People nowadays have become too casual and forgot the benefits brought by maintaining etiquette and how it's a way to maintain and improve relationships
My new method to handle a friend who was always bringing extra food to our afternoon luncheons (which we rotate at each others' home), is to email the times, menu, with the statement that extra food will not be unnecessary unless you have a specific dietary need that you alone will need, or unless you check with me ahead of time!
Just watched this video. This is how I was raised and I’m still a little shocked when people my age don’t know these things or do these things. It’s comforting to know that I am not alone and my efforts are appreciated
Yes please ! Like how far in advance do you need to send invites ? Can you let guests help who offer ? What can you accept when guests ask what they should bring? How to respond to last minute cancellations? How to deal with a dramatic guest ? What if all of your family and friends have bad manners but they are loving people -can you educate without seeming rude yourself ? So many questions! Any answers much appreciated 🙏🙏
You have done a wonderful job emphasizing the dont's and the whys. I wish more people would watch and apply. I did not come from a good upbringing but I did know my manners and my pre-career environment prepared me well. Some of what you have stated I made sure I did or did not do but never knew why. I have been invited to some major events and was embarrassed that the person who added me as a plus 1 did so without asking. An later discovered that her mannerisms were also not appropriate. As time went on I was invited to attend more events and noticed that my colleague was excluded from attending any further events. She even became upset that I was being requested. As I grow my team of ladies I will definitely share your channel!!! Thank you for being so eloquently poised. It is rare to find this in today's society.
I Live in France and I’m not part of the high society (yet! Eheh) and I can say that me, my family and my circle of friends, being considered « normally educated » we do all of these!! Those are simple rules and manners that we were taught since little :)
Ana, Thank You for mentioning the Dramas that are created at Parties & Events on any of the RH of....! The things you mentioned are the very reasons I DON'T watch those shows! (We do not have TVs anymore for that & other reasons!) But speaking of Guest Manners....one of the things that I really think is Rude of the Host, is when you're invited to visit or go to a party at someones Home & you arrive to find there are TVs Blasting away in nearly every room and it's impossible to carry on a conversation with anyone without shouting at them!! If the party is a "Watching Sports Games or Special Movies on TV" that's one thing, but just having TVs blaring away is just plain an Awful Lack of Manners! Don't you agree?
I agree! There are some guests, typically the husband, who turns the tv on as soon as they enter our home then insist on my coming over to where they are and getting them set up to watch their game and giving them all the wifi. Meanwhile, everyone else has to stand around and wait! And they are visibly agitated at every second that they're not watching the game. It made me wonder, why are they even here?
@@rileyscott5827 I have a brother-in-law like that! It's made it impossible to have ANY Social Interaction with him at all! Between he & my sister (for different reasons) we haven't seen or talked to them for a few years! My loving husband & I decided after much prayer & quite a few tears, that we needed to cut out the "Toxic Relationships" from our lives! We're much the better for refusing to be caught up in the Drama & becoming victims of THEIR Emotional Instability!
The first point is really about integrity & a lot of these points are plain common sense; thankfully we have you to remind us & work on those areas that we may feel lacking 💜🎉
Of course you greet the host and say good bye to them! Are there any people not doing this? I am not a superformal woman but this seems really basic to me. If you mention it, you'll have your reasons for sure. Love you Ana! Please keep on doing your special videos, can't get enough of them.
I love watching your etiquette videos; I just enjoy learning how to act respectfully and classy. Even though I grew up with parents that taught me a lot about manners and many ‘old way things’ have been drilled into my head, It’s just great that people like yourself, are teaching these important things to people, because not everyone has the same upbringing and these things you teach, can really help people to succeed in many areas of their life; professional, social, personal. So thank you once again for doing what you’re doing, and I send very much love and support your way. ♥️ (Even though your target market is women, I am a male, and I fully support your ‘movement’, if you will. There isn’t enough people teaching what you’re teaching in this generation (at least perhaps publicly), and I’m glad you’re doing you).
Finally a video from you where I can actually say I do all that! I'm so chuffed that I can call myself a classy guest! Love all your videos, always great content, xxx
I was definitely that person that showed up a bit late very often some years back. It wasn't a deliberate plan to do that, it just happened... but at the end of the day, it was sending a message that my time is more valuable than theirs and I will go on my own schedule instead of showing people respect. I didn't really mean to do that, but that's almost certainly what it was doing. For the last few years, I have always maintained punctuality or send someone a message in enough time if there is some issue that is preventing you from being punctual or within the expected time frame. This shows much more respect and makes me a more valued guest because I am showing that I value *them*. I wasn't raised with all the correct etiquette training, but I was definitely raised with "never show up empty-handed" - it was something my mother said many times, even though she was raised in a very financially modest home. So I'm glad it's something that has stuck with me, however, I do know there are certainly gaps in my knowledge or things I might be doing subconsciously that aren't the best.
I stand corrected! I have done the disappearance act after searching for the host/hostess for a while to no avail or they are engaged in a conversation for a long period of time with other guests and I did not want to interrupt. That will not happen again.
I'd love to hear some tactful strategies for dealing with guests who overstep boundaries and privacy. I have some horrific memories of both being the host when someone was misbehaving, and also the guest with a plus one (good friend at the time) who just turned into some sort of lunatic for no reason at a dinner party. I was just stunned and so embarrassed, I had no idea how to handle it. Maybe at the time I could have just left but even then I feel something else may have been more diplomatic. Would love to hear some techniques to manage tough guests and stay a gracious hostess.
In your last video you mentioned that Ibiza is a destination of the affluent and Jeremy Fragrance here on RU-vid mentioned he is flying there right now, so you were so right. Great content Anna. Btw I'm not even looking for an affluent man because I am already married, but I just love your channel and I watch each of your videos.
@@celia8709 oh boy! I didn't know that. Thanks for the information, but I was just saying it was mentioned as a destination of the affluent and it clearly is.
@@celia8709 I think all European countries would think that. I live in the Netherlands and oh boy, the people that go to Ibiza a often young people, (most are rich) but at at the same time absolutely cheap. Ugh, I can't stand the people that go to Ibiza lol.
My husband is from Barcelona and the Spaniards don't really have that perception. It's a party place where casual sex, drug use and debauchery are commonplace.
I grew up with proper manners. Years and years of negative influence has had its impact. Your tutorials are helping polish my manners, style, out look,and confidence. I am very thankful! Now I'm able to present myself in a more dignified manner. People are more respectful and attentive. GOD BLESS
Brilliant video but in my (Nigerian) tribe, don't even dare eat before going to an intimate family event (ie close family or friends) They centre events around food and make plenty of delicacies by hand, so if you turn up too full to eat the food they spent ages cooking for you, they would feel you are being snobbish and pretentious haha
This lady is clueless about anything cultural. Even her dress code would offend certain cultures. Anything with an ounce of life and color in it, she is against. She's like a drone.
Yes, Real Housewives series, ha, ha, ha. The producers tell them to do that for ratings. You are right it is inappropriate to steal the shine from the host.
This makes me sad... I felt it was true but this makes it real: my friends have been very disrespectful to me as a hostess. It honestly makes me want to stop hosting. But I LOVE to host. I think I might just need better friends... and thats hard to come to terms with
You can tell your friends how you feel in a kind way. If they respect it, they’re your friends. If they dismiss you, then maybe you are better without them.
@@laurenj432 i dont know if i should i have to tell my friends i deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. I wouldnt feel like we're equals anymore - it would feel like teaching a child how to behave; im not into doing that with my friends
@@Artbug I used to think like that. They kept on behaving the way they did and eventually we parted ways. There's only so much disrespect and rudeness one can keep up with.
Agree on everything except for not finishing the course.. I've been taught that food shouldn't be wasted and that eating everything is sign of appreciation for the work and effort put in it
very appreciative of videos regarding etiquette! my parents were never really around so i have to learn most of these things myself so i appreciate this.
One hundred percent agree with the time management advice. I cannot understand people who are rude enough to ignore the time as if it is of no importance. So disrespectful!
Pet peeve: People who are habitually late! I know a few people like this. It’s always a given & I’ve learned to count on it every time. It seems to be some kind of control issue or attention getting mechanism. So disrespectful & annoying!
Ms. Bey, you are a lovely person. I am so grateful for your RU-vid Videos. My Life has taken a huge change and these videos help me fit in. I am more prepared to navigate new situations that I was never introduced to in my old life.
I remember when I've been invited to a private party (music industry, high level guests) and I showed up alone. I've been asked who I was with and I just said:"As far as I understood, the invitation was just for me". My host had a 458934 teeth smile. I just acted normally for me
I am not great at time-management, but would never inconvenience another person with it. If I had to attend an appointment or meeting or gathering, I would prepare well ahead of time and then actually go someplace nearby some 20 minutes early, so that I can relax and then quickly reach the place when it is time.
I love your videos. I think the point that hit home for me was when an old friend of mine i hadn’t seen in years invited me to a birthday party. Mind you we had been best friends in high school and she treated me horribly she later apologized after 15 years so my guard was up but i attended the party. Needless to say she tried to ask me at the party what happened between us and why we grew apart. I told her this was not the time or place and we could discuss at a different time. I could tell she was put off because i was assertive and she was trying to put me on the spot which told me my instincts were correct and she had not changed on bit. Your etiquette videos are great and than you for always being an example of a class act. Its sad but women have really lost it these days. ❤️
I'm 19 and honestly, everything you talk about has been a, ah ha moment, after ah ha moment! I cant stop sharing your videos with my friends! Thank you so much for this content, I highly appreciate it! Much love to you my dear elegant guru. :-)
I have lived with most of these etiquette dos and don'ts, and sadly, most people these days do not practice them. I really appreciate your efforts in putting these together for people to see. Thank you so much!
I think all of this advices are truly elegant and specially, they show respect for everyone, except not finishing your food, i can understand people with lots of money don't have to worry about wasting food because they an afford it, but there are millions of people in the world starving and i think is actually very rude and disrespectful to act so selfish and waste food, and not think about the rest of the world but yourself or your immediate social group, we all should be more empathetic, and aware how our actions can affect others, and once we do, this world will actually start to change for the better......congratulations Anna!! Great content!!😊
You're providing such a wonderful education. I work in Protocol within the Diplomatic community but I'm self-taught. I grew up with important basic manners but not etiquette. It's so important to embrace true etiquette that's pertinent to your environment/situation. I'm happy to see I knew much of what you discussed but discovered some great reminders. I've started to become a product of my out of work casual environment but seeing your videos reminded me of how good of feels to follow the elegant path no matter what. 🌹
