It is true though. Men are wired differently to women. We can have sex and it can mean absolutely nothing, it’s just an orifice to gain a relief, whereas women need to FEEL something to be able to have sex, because they’re emotional beings. Men don’t. It doesn’t mean we love our woman any less.
I couldn't agree more. It did mean something when he made the choice to have an affair. Especially in this movie, he didn't think even for a second how his fling would affect his marriage. Someone who cares about his wife's feeling wouldn't make such careless choices.
I agree, my husband cheated with our babysitter. To me that was the ultimate betrayal, the woman I trusted to care for my 6 month old baby. Ugh! I still shiver and its been 47 years. I kicked him to the curb when that happened and I've been happily married to someone else for 37 years.
@@johnathanholmes1297 You are right he was drunk. But when saw Alex coming at him at full speed with that giant knife he sobered up in a hurry!!!!! Lol!!! It was a "rude awakening"!!! His dream girl turned into a nightmare!!!! Lol!!!! Thank goodness it was just a movie!!!!
@@viralbuthow000 Welcome to marriage , lol ! You deal with it and work through it with each other . You don’t go behind your spouses back and cheat . Period .
@@viralbuthow000 I get that, but he cheated. His wife didn’t. Sometimes one person in the relationship isn’t aware there’s a problem. Sometimes there isn’t. Sometimes people cheat just for the thrill of it even if their marriage or relationship is good.
Absolutely! For him, it was just supposed to be a brief sweet escape from reality but unfortunately it never occurred to him that she wouldn’t see it that way that she had other ideas what this little fling was. He only now regrets it cuz of the repercussions that have followed and trickled down to his wife and daughter.
@@ruz3151 Yes. One is a violation of your trust. The other a violation of your health! I gotta die or potentially get cancer or have sores or an increased incident of miscarriage because he wanted a nut?! To me it's not different than DV.
Anne Archer absolutely killed this scene. She played it so well by exhibiting layers to her pain and emotion. I always think of this scene as a great example for young actors to study. Subtle, emotion filled and powerful.
You have to ask yourself, was it really worth it? The act literally DESTROYS families; breaks them apart and no one is ever the same again. Children will carry the burden and the scars for the rest of their lives! Every act has a consequence and the consequences of infidelity are HUGE.
@@Campfire30 It affects everyone differently! You may be fine but many others battle with the consequences (ie. divorce, 2 different families, etc.). Everyone's situation is different. Try thinking beyond yourself.
Ann Archer did an incredible job of capturing the complete heartbreak a cheating spouse can cause. And it wasn’t one night it was a whole ass weekend of dirty shit they did together, so he’s still not even being honest.
Wow ! Great observation !! I never thought of that ! He did spend more one night like he said with Alex ! A freakin liar is what he is even in “honesty “!
@@Nickywhispersasmr my Master’s is in film and we were screening this, first time I saw it, and I remember thinking,…. Are you kidding!?!?! I heard That correctly.
Cheating is an act of selfishness that can have devastating consequences on the person being cheated on. It can lead to feelings of self-doubt and worthlessness and can even break their spirit. If you are considering cheating, please reconsider. It is better to end a relationship than to hurt someone in this way.
You're so right and what you said to do is what I actually did. After marriage counseling failed and I couldn't take living with someone who behaved like my enemy I left before I sought out another partner. That's the way it should be.
@@saynotohookups You're right a lot of the time. But there are situations when marriage counseling and honest effort are not enough if one of the individuals is mentally ill , abusive a cheat or has gambling, spending or substance addictions.
@@elliedaniels2245 That is true. There are difficult situations even after counseling where you have to make a tough call when nothing else is working.
The way Anne Archer stares at him for a bit, waiting for him to say it's all a joke, then she realises it isn't, and the heartbreak sets in. Amazing acting.
@monichat HUH?! 😂🤣 He got off WAAAYYYY too easy! Any other wife w/ a little bit more self-respect would've come at him w/ a knife, ESPECIALLY once he tries to put his hands on her. Call that "violent"? 😂🤣 Joke!
@@monichat No, every husband doesn't cheat. And plenty of women take lovers. What world are you living in? Lol. Freedom of speech doesn't make you immune from being told you're WRONG about something. I don't like exaggerations or inaccuracies passed off as "truth". This is not violence. Get real.
@monichat , It is extremely hard to say. Everyone reacts differently to shocking news. Regarding Beth, it was probably a lot to comprehend. For her, it was bad enough that Dan had an affair but that Alex was pregnant added insult to injury.
@@MeadeSkeltonMusicyes, it is. I trust you with my life and you repay me by giving me life threatening stds. I know two women who died that way. Cheating is literally attempted murder in some cases.
@@MeadeSkeltonMusic not to mention the emotional damage it does to you. You don't think emotional damage is abuse??? You must be a cheater and I sure hope someone you trust and love cheats on you.
The overwhelming reaction was hatred of Alex, and pity for Dan. 80s standards were not on Alex's side. She should have known her place and evaporated after a fun time, and Dan's family would never have been the wiser and nothing suggests this lying cheat hadn't done this many times.
@erinunderwood3103 During the making of this scene, Michael Douglas bullied the child actress into tears by threatening to take away the unicorn to get a real reaction out of her for the scene and when the scene was finished, he immediately told her that he was sorry and that he was only kidding and gave her a hug. He said in an interview that he felt guilty about it.
Explain the logic in that, what does one statement have to do with the other? It's like saying if that third glass of wine didn't mean anything, then neither did someone's life when they wrecked their car and were killed. It's a complete non sequitor. Sometimes mistakes have completely disproportionate consequences.
@@frankdayton731He made a calculated decision. He's not a horny kid, he's a late 30s lawyer. He knows where babies come from. He knows he can't compell a woman to abort a child. And it *seems*he understood that an affair+baby would endanger his marriage, Beth's happiness, and Elle's well-being. Oh, and your analogy is spot on. If you drink a third glass of wine knowing it might put you in the impaired zone you've decided that your pleasure is more important than other people's lives.
@@FranSanTeeth90 "He made a calculated decision". And sometimes people make wrong calculations. Hence the term, mistake. The point I was objecting to was whether the mistake had to mean as much as the consequences. And it clearly doesn't. You can make absentminded or spur of the moment decisions without taking full consideration of *ALL* the possible outcomes. Now Glenn Close's character turning into a homicidal maniac wasn't the *only* outcome of Dan sleeping with her. It was just one of them. She never said : "Dan I'm an undiagnosed psychopath with obsessive tendencies and can't take no for an answer, but I promise that the sex will be phenomenal". I'm sure he would've made a different choice had he known before hand this was how she'd be inclined to react. Now if he knew this for a fact, and *still* made the decision to screw her, then you'd be justified in saying that the sex meant as much to him as the fallout.
The look on her face when he admits that yes he cheated is heartbreaking. Actress did a great job. That confusion and pain. Like "Why?" Even if Alex wasn't crazy, more than enough damage was done to that family just by this.
I'm 59 and didn't watch it until a few days ago. It was so disturbing. The cast did an incredible job and the child actress was incredibly good. As I wrote in another comment, anyone who is thinking of cheating should watch this. There are enough real stories about the horrible things that happen when people lie and cheat but this movie is frightening.
@@Biggdoom344 I don't understand the sense of your sentense I am frenchie !! !! What is meaning : all run together ? I understand a lot words more n more
@@lydialilybellevalley2297 maybe it all ran together means he was having so much fun he lost track of time. He didn’t just have sex with her once..he also spent the entire weekend with her. Probably had sex more than once.
When she strokes her teddy because she’s so scared. That’s how I felt when my parents argued but I was 3 years old and instead of a teddy it was my pet cat. I just remember hugging him wishing the screaming would stop. So this shouting scene always gets to me 💔
I think it’s ridiculous instead. HE’s the one who messed up everything in the first place. Blaming and threatening the other woman is not fair, just deal with your husband and ask him what he had in mind when HE decided to cheat on you.
Peep how when Beth hopped on the phone, Alex got real quiet. That brief conversation between the two women symbolized dominance: Beth was the wife who wasn’t going anywhere and called the shots, whereas Alex was just a weekend fling.
La actriz que interpreta a Alex no estaba convencida de hacer este papel por eso mismo, no se sentía lo suficientemente irresistible. Pero de eso se trataba, puramente atracción para él, muy lejano al amor.
@@javajones8367 Doesn't understand that he had to "give a gift to another generation" - yet another kid? ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-PvSYHvY9tp8.html
When they say ‘it was one night it didn’t mean anything’ what they’re really saying is that you and my child don’t mean anything. Otherwise they’d never think of it to hurt them. Narcissists always use manipulative language to make empaths feel sorry for them.
@@karenwellington8569 I swear so many people misuse the term "narcissist". A Narcissist is someone who has an inflated sense of pride and expects constant praise and success at the expense of others. It is not just about being self-centered. He was just a selfish idiot who made a choice that he regretted, nothing more.
@@walterheisenberg251 Not sorry….he did not confess, he was outed by mistress and her pregnancy. It is only a movie, but represents narcissism quite well.
@@TrustJesus333He wasn’t outed. She was threatening to out him to keep power over him. She messed with his daughter and it went too far so he confessed to protect his family. Doesn’t excuse the behavior but he owned it.
@@Gemmarose9012 My point was, he was a narcissist, he was never going to confess. The mistress would have told the wife, that was obvious, he told his wife so that he could stay in control. An extraordinarily evil man. He was worse than the mistress.
Wow, no wonder this movie was such a major success. The acting is so real, genuine and emotionally charged on many different levels. Ive seen this movie at least 10 times since ‘ 87 and it still gets to me even today. But even ONE viewing should be more than enough to keep someone from cheating.
@monichat Well after seeing this movie enough times, i don't believe Alex was ever pregnant. It's was just another desperate attempt at trying to keep Dan from leaving her.
@@deanl2427 men don’t cheat because of beauty. Fact is most men cheat with a downgrade physically, emotionally, intellectually. Like many men he had gotten into a routine, was bored and slipped up.
Yea, instead of taking full accountability say " it didn't mean anything" demean the woman you desired and devastate your wife...what a " man"...THIS ISN'T COMPLICATED. If a person acts on their desires once it's occured no matter how many times do not try to pass it off as it meant nothing. AND stop demeaning sex, demeaning other people, demeaning your spouse, demeaning the experience...grow as a person from it..heal yourself, be accountable and Be KIND
That's a very black and white response from you. Relationships, the desire for sex, impulses, attractions, different types of attractions ... these are all so much more complicated and nuanced than how you paint it. And he did take responsibility; he told his wife about it; she didn't discover it accidentally. I'm only speaking from the male perspective here, but it's absolutely true that a man can have sex with another woman, and it means nothing more than sex. Sure, a man can fall in love with another woman, as well, but that's not the case here. He had an opportunity for wild sex with a new and different woman other than his wife, and he went for it. The secretiveness/lying is the real issue here, but with how freakish we are when it comes to sex and our true desires, society sort of forces so many of us to go on the down low in these matters.
@@Jim_L Your response is interesting and actually one of the more enjoyable comments I have read on the internet for some time. However I think your response might be a bit of a non-sequitur to the original comment, let me explain what I mean. While I think you're correct in one sense, insofar as the original comment oversimplifies the 'human sexual condition', I think it does so predicated on a moral standard of behavior expected of one when committing to another in word and deed - marriage, in this example, this is a agreed upon condition of marriage and why it is really more of a religious institution, because it expects a higher standard to be met, despite our thoughts, desires, temptations, etc, as God is the witness - it is declared before him. What you're saying, while true in the sense that yes, we may desire another or whatever, those carnal desires are to be controlled and we are callled to be more virtuous. Therefore, I think the original comment is more correct in its simplicity of this point while yours ignores this and argues that we ought to just succumb to these desires etc and controlling them is not fair on our natural instincts (or something like that). Not sure how correct I am but I think I know how dissolute most men's minds are, or at least can be.
@@Jim_L -I haven't seen this movie for many years. If memory serves me, he only confessed b/c he was going to be ratted out. I agree sex can be just sex for some people but he didn't take blame. It was a narcissistic response to say that it meant nothing. It didn't take ownership imo.
@@geofreyr Thank you for the kind words. I purposely try to be civil in my reply to others' postings. And thank you, as well, for taking the time to share your thoughts on this matter. With that, I can't say that there's really anything you've said that I disagree with. I think you nailed it when you say that marriage is really built on a religious foundation (in full disclosure, I'm a hardcore atheist). I will add this, however: It's funny how married couples can lie about so many things to each other during the course of their marriage, except this one thing -- i.e., infidelity. And to that, again, I say it's because we have these weird hang-ups about sex, largely due to religion. All these other lies will be forgiven, but not cheating. "You told me you would call, and you didn't." "You said you would be home by 8:00 p.m., but you were at the bar with so-and-so and didn't get home until after midnight." "I told you I don't like that old friend of yours, and you promised me that you wouldn't hang out together as much anymore, but once again, you two were at the pub until bartime." And so on and so on. Yet all these lies are so very often forgiven, over and over. But when it comes to a meaningless sexual encounter outside of the marriage, then hold the phone, that's a huge no-no. But why? Why are all the other lies given a pass (over and over), but when it comes to cheating and all those lies to cover it up, then this lie is a deal breaker. Again, we have real issues with sex and the discussion of deep-down sexual desires with our spouse, and thus, so so many of us choose the easy route of sneaking around and keeping it on the down low.
No he’s not so sorry. He’s a dirtbag just like anyone that cheats. They know darn well what they are doing and they are extremely needy, empty individuals with no heart. My father cheated on my Mom like he did. And the other woman knew he was a married man with two children. They both were home wreckers. And they surely will be punished severely for their actions. Mark my words.
So you’re not going to blame your dad for his decision to cheat on your mom multiple times? Don’t just blame the women, your father should be the one you’re primarily upset with.
@@sds6303 Did you even read my comment??? Of course I’m blaming my father and I never said he cheated on my Mom multiple times so stop interpreting things on someone’s posts that aren’t true. I’m also blaming the woman he got with because she knew also he was a married man with children. Please read what I said first before commenting. Unless you are illiterate and can’t read.
@@Modus888-if9yj You have no idea what you are talking about nor do you understand anything about my life or situation. So truly your comment is meaningless and has zero relevance to me. My father is a truly terrible man
I relate to that kid so much. I see myself in that kid comforting that toy and burying her head, comforting herself. At an age when you don't even know these things, you still can sense that something is broken permanently. And we kids blame ourselves for that. We try to be as nice and conforming possible so the hurting parent would not find us difficult, or we rebel because everything that was supposed to be secure is gone. Screw cheaters. Screw you from the bottom of my heart.
@huntsman145 Screw you! You don't know what other kids did or didn't do! Plenty of kids internalize this and enter the world as excessively broken people. You can accept that or not. Doesn't make it any less true. 🤷♂️
If someone ever says to you "it (or she/he) didn't mean anything", ask "so you put all we have at risk for something that meant nothing?". That line a cheater uses tells you the person they cheated with, as well as you, mean nothing. Cheating would make more sense if they cared about the other person they were with, if they loved you and just crossed paths with this other person and they had a connection and he/she felt torn between two people they loved...that to me would be less insulting.
Smokey Robinson`s Wife Claudette went through the same thing. From 1959-1984 she put up with his countless affairs including one with Diana Ross before The Supremes hit the big time. He also had an affair with a young lady named Meta who danced on Soul Train in the 1970`s but his longest one was an off again on again affair from 1967-1984 with a former Playboy Bunny named Kandi who got pregnant for him. She took him to the cleaners in their divorce settlement and from what I hear still gets paid whenever any songs he wrote or co wrote gets played in any form shape or way.
@@florencemiller7826 Yep. Smokey's Music is still very popular. Now "Who's Loving You" is now the most popular audition song on The X Factor in The UK. However they say it's a Michael Jackson Song.
Lots of wives of that era have put up with this. Their husband taking them for granted and having fun while she’s at home making the food and taking care of kids. Countless.
She they applaud him making her a single mother because of his dumb actions? Regardless he had and affair he needs to take responsibility point blank period, there’s nothing to applaud about this sick shit
@@sallyjoanthen don't get married. If attraction is all that matters in a woman, you do realize women lose attractiveness after a child or two and a couple of years???? Spare them the heartache and stay celibate and F anything under that sun that you deem attractive. Also, no, Glen si not sexier in this than frikin Anne Archer. Anne is absolutely a knockout. Glen is also beautiful in her own way.
Yes, a little girl with short hair, what a crime. She obviously wanted it that way. She still had short hair a couple years later when she was in Christmas Vacation. They made her wear a wig.
It's just about a change. Look around - a lot of men with extremely beautiful wives have cheated. At some point when two people have spent 5-10 yrs - the novelty is lost, boredom sets in, and disagreements quickly escalate. That's when any change is very welcome. Marriages have a very unrealistic ask.
I love how Beth took her husband’s side against his psycho stalker for the sake of the family. Yes he cheated but let’s not pretend that Glenn Close’s character was in the right. She knew he was married and she was using the infidelity she participated in as leverage to steal him away from the wife.
Oh that little girl.... looking at her parents...first time life broke her heart... 90% of the time we parents do it. We break our children's heart... I was at her age looking at my parents argue like this...this scene took me back 60 years and my heart still hurts.
When I first saw this movie at the theater, I didn’t know if the child was a boy or girl. Sometimes it sounded like her mom was calling her “Allen” and not “Ellen.” 😬
My mom was my dad mistress for years, and then she got pregnant with me and my dad promised that he will divorce his wife. However, he never divorce her and my dad is still with his wife. My mother understood that my father wasn’t someone who she could trust with her heart, and after my mother found out that his wife was pregnant at the same time she was, she understood that he was never going to choose her. The irony of life, my brother and I were born the same year, month, and day, he is older than me for two hours. After my mother found out about the pregnancy my mother was furious with my dad and she forbid him to see me until I was 4. Is true whatever mistake the parents make the children pay for it, I’m 22 and I’ve never been in a relationship, I don’t trust anyone enough to let them in. To top it all with a cherry on top, my father never takes me to the public, every time we meet we have to do it in secret, so his wife never find out. It’s true childrens pay for it
Sounds like your biological father is a huge narcissist who likes to have control & power over others. Your mom, sadly is trauma bonded to him. He knows how to lie, manipulate, say all the right things to get your mom to stick around.
The same thing happened to my mother as my grandmother was the mistress to a man who had a good wife and son. He had two daughters with my grandma and they put up the first for adoption and my grandma kept the second baby. He would only come by in secret and so my grandma refused his check ins. Then my mom talked to him years later (around 30) and she was still a secret so she just gave up. Also, when my mom was 8, his son passed away at 18 and my mom asked her dad if he could be her dad now and he basically said no. She never forgot it
I'm the product of an affair too. I'm 50 now and have only met my father once when I asked to meet him face to face around age 27. He's never wanted a relationship which hurt for so many years. But I got saved by Jesus Christ and learned God is the best father, He is always present. Everything I ever thought I missed out on, He has made up for it. All the sweet words I wanted from a father are in the bible. I let Him heal my heart and am so grateful for the life and family I have. I will be praying for you.
I don't understand why you're not in a relationship because of trust? You just have to set your own boundaries and find someone who is single and sincere, it's not difficult to find out if someone is Married you know that those are public records, and you can check them out before you get involved with them, especially when it's someone who you really care about! Men rarely leave their wives for the other woman, because they weren't required to do it in the beginning so they have gotten everything they wanted without leaving and also, most likely they're not going to leave because of a child, that is like leaving one marital bed, to go to another, men really don't want a mistress who turns into another obligation.❤
You’re not wrong but it’s not that simple. If a partner hurts you it’s terrible but you still love thst person and you can’t easily turn thst off light a light switch
Or the line "it didn't mean anything", so you're telling me you gutted me, destroyed the love, trust and family for something that meant nothing?!? Go F yourself. Wonder what would you have done if it meant something to you?!? And the "I love you", keep it, I don't want you're kind of "love".
@@lizadivine3785 All the actors were great. I posted my opinion. I didn’t ask you for yours. I’m glad you think the little girl was great. I simply wanted to express how amazing Ann was. You’re the one that needs to chill out. It’s like if I say the sky is really blue today, you would say, what about the clouds? They look really white! Just let a compliment be a compliment.
Anne Archer gave an acting class in this scene. Her face goes from shock to disbelief to pain and rage. Watch when she lifts her head after he says "yes" when she asks about the affair. It looks like she ages 10 years in that moment. Great scene!
This marriage would never survive long-term. Glenn Close is off the charts excellent in this role and also Dangerous Liaisons and Evening. Glenn has the knack to embody the character and their feelings, struggles and responses to others.
The fact that Glenn Close has been nominated eight (8) times for an Oscar and never won is sensational. She is the Bette Davis of today. She made my dad cry in "Dangerous Liaisons." And he was a very quiet, hard- nosed WWII Sergeant who fought in seven campaigns.
@@brendakeenan9416Agreed. Have you ever seen her in the Hallmark Hall of Fame Sarah Plain and Tall series? It was from the 90s. She's so charming and endearing in that role. The exact opposite of Fatal Attraction.
It didn’t mean anything? Then why do it? .. oh wait, there could’ve been a chance for it to mean something, but it ended up it didn’t. Full on BS, there is no excuse for cheating.. absolutely none!
@@EphemeralProductions Who gives an F. Hair is just hair. Only "certain" people only comment on these trivial things. Having short hair doesn't make a female less feminine. Anyway...it's a CHILD...not yet corrupted by people's narrow and stupid comments about a GD haircut. Just WTF
Flaw in script…she asks. “Did you have an affair with her?”. He answers yes… Then he says it was only one night… An affair is not one night.. He was telling the truth when he said “Yes’ then tried to downplay it saying it was only one night… Liar liar pants on fire.
He downplayed it because he didn't want to admit to the affair in the first place, he was forced to by Alex's incessant harassment and bunny boiling habits. 😂😂😂
If he was truly remorseful from the beginning, he would have told her the whole story instead of minimizing it. He only became remorseful when he realized it was going to catch up to him.
Adultery will forever destroy a marriage and even if you stay together it's never the same and you will forever know what the marriage could've been and if you have kids it wil affect them as well everyone is free to make their own decisions but NO One is free from the consequences of those choices 🙏
@jeromerizzo423 That goes to show you how much of a great wife Beth is. Although what Dan did to her was completely assholeish (I do believe he would never make that same mistake again), she forgave him and would totally kill Alex if she came near him again.
Michael Douglas's character is arguably just as bad, if not worse, than that of Glenn Close. She was a psychopath with nothing to lose. He was willing to sacrifice his family on the altar of a cheap thrill, then when confronted by his innocent wife, still lie to protect himself.