On the other side i really hate it when i talk about my insecurities about my body and my friends always say oh no girl you you're not fat you look great. Its like what am i not allowed to be unhappy with my body? Thats not helping. I know fair well where my issues are. Stop lying to me.
YES! I think that;s a huge issue is people wanting yes men and not friends. When my friends and I complain about weight, no one says oh girl you look great, we're like ok how can we help you get to your goals. Your opinion of yourself matters most.
Telling a dangerously overweight person not to lose weight because they're beautiful is like telling alcoholics not to stop drinking because they're fun.
When I asked one of my grown sons "Do these jeans make me look fat?", he answered "no.....your fat makes you look fat." I admired his honesty and lost the fat.
@@BigBeerus He's very self-disciplined and athletic, so I guess he comes at it from a different perspective. Honesty can be hard for some people to deal with, but I'm not the type of woman who melts when she's faced with the truth, and he knows that. His honesty, which was based entirely on his concern for my health, motivated me to take action and not only lose the fat, it improved my overall health and eased other underlying health conditions.
@@coneyisland6793 that's kinda what based means, or did before it was adopted by idiots. He's very "based in reality" or "based". That's good to hear and I'm glad it helped out overall.
@@BigBeerus Sorry, I'm old and I live in London. To be honest, I don't understand much slang, but I get it. I thought you mispelt 'biased' and that 'savage' meant something negative.'Based' is quite a good term really. "based in reality"...I like that.
@@coneyisland6793 no problem lol, in this case and most savage is used as to describe someone who doesn't care about offending someone or about politeness and will just state fact as it is. Its almost a poke at how polite society has become. I figured you weren't familiar with slang that's why I explained it, have a great day.
My boyfriend sat me down, looked me in my eyes and told me I had to stop, that I was getting dangerously overweight and that he was fearing for my health. That at night he would wake up and check if I was breathing ok. He was right about it all, now we go to the gym together 5x a week, he guides me in my workouts and our bond has never been stronger. Not because I'm "getting thinner" but because I decided to take action for my health so that we could enjoy life together as long as possible.
What's crazy is if a man went to his guy friends saying his girlfriend said he needs to lose weight they would most likely just give him advice on losing weight 😂 so simple
I remember answering my ex wife about whether or not she looked fat in a particular dress. I answered honestly and said, "Yes." She cried and I felt awful. What I didn't say was the stitching was coming apart because of her weight and that as soon as she sat down, the dress would rip for everyone to see. I shut the hell up after that. Years later, she weighed more than me, by a lot. And I'm 6'1", 235lbs. She also tried to sabotage me when I was trying to get back in shape (I was 265). She was always offering me wine and sweets even though I told her no multiple times. She even blamed me for my weight loss making her feel bad. I replied, "Let's work out together!" That didn't go over well either.
She was definitely toxic.The problem with being a man in an abusive relationship is that hardly no one takes up for you, you can't openly and honestly talk about the abuse you endure at the hands of your wife, what she does to you and how she makes you feel without being shamed and demonised for it. You can't even choose to leave the marriage and not be made to look like an asshole. And no matter how you have it, she has the power to ruin all of YOU. She has the ability to turn your own children against you, your family and friends too. She could falsely accuse you of rape and domestic violence and just like that have your work terminated...she could even kill you or get you killed and get away with it too.
You made the right call. Sometimes things just have to be said. And if it was getting to the point where the stitching was coming apart when she sat down, then she needed to be told that. She also seemed toxic to me, a good partner would never guilt-trip their significant other because they lost weight and they didn't want to.
Its interesting about the part yiu said about her offering you sweets to bring you down as well. My wife does it but at a smaller level. I think she feels bad about eating the sweets so she damn near tries to force feed them to me lol. I picked up on it and now I make it a habit to not eat the sweets with her
@@donell307 Yeah, my situation was much more sinister But there's a similarity in that the other person wants you to indulge to make themselves feel better. Good call on not eating sweets with her.
@@donell307 My ex-wife used to do that. She would want ice cream or would actually get it and then ask if I want some. When I would decline, she would say that now she feels bad or that I am making her feel bad/guilty. Now understand this because it is very important....I AM LACTOSE INTOLERANT!! Ice cream and whole milk is painfully torturous to my digestive system. It feels as if my insides are ripped out, tied in knots, set on fire, squeezed, and then punched back into my body. That pain has been so bad at times that my legs would spasm. Just terrible.
@sub1ime81 this. It is so pathetic. I couldn't imagine my husband coming to me with something that personal and intimate just for me to turn around and post it everywhere because my feeling were hurt. Couples who actually last don't get offended by one another and take honesty to heart. If he told me he wasn't attracted to my weight anymore you better bet my ass would do something to make him feel like he was heard. He is attracted to my body, personality, face, hair etc the way it is and if it were to drastically change I would 100% understand why he is struggling to keep that attraction. Bitching and moaning to everyone and their mother about what he said as if it's an attack on you is petty and a total invasion of his trust and privacy. She is an absolute piece of shit. The people catering to her bullshit are petty pieces of shit. Ladies, it's not all about you. You have to remember your significant other has desires and needs too. You have to be open with how you feel and you definitely have to provide confidence to that person confiding in you that you will hear them out, discuss it together, not blast it to every family member and stranger you come into contact with, and come to either an agreement or to some sort of resolution together. Even if it hurts your feelings. They trusted you enough to discuss it, so show some fucking respect and try to resolve it together without an audience. Sorry, had to rant!
I believe that too. Some people who are miserable will give you bad advice because misery loves company. Some people are shady and want your mate for themselves!
100% agree, I hate when my friends ask me for advice. I will not serve to validate your point, especially if you are wrong. If you are wrong your wrong if they are wrong, then they are wrong. Which is why if I say something, I always state, I'm not looking for a solution. I just want to vent, get if off my chest, it'll help bring clarity and I'll go resolve my problems my damn self.
I'm 52 and I hit menopause recently. I've gained weight. I feel tired. A bit low. Decided to hit the gym and many girlfriends are telling me not to do so, saying the weight gain do not matter. 'We love you the way you are.. ' Yeah thanks. But these extra pounds are creating havoc in my life. I'm working out. The results are slow. But I'm determined. And no one is encouraging me. It is so weird.
I'm gonna break it to you, people never want to see you succeed, you are taking the right choice, but in their heart of hearts, they know they don't have the motivation and self awareness to do what you are doing, so it's much easier to bring you down with them, don't let people EVER, tell you what to do or don't with your body.
My girlfriend told me I was losing weight and getting too scrawny. I noticed that she was becoming more distant in bed and not really engaging in sex prior to her telling me that. What did I do? I fucking went back to the gym and started working out again and I'm glad she said something because she was right. I was being lazy and slacking off. Going back to the gym changed a lot about my life and I had forgotten how much it helped me, overall. Sometimes your partner is there to tell you those things that 99% of the other people in your life will not tell you. If you can't be honest with them about stuff like this then you're not mature enough to be in a relationship.
Wow, so instead of cheating on her or leaving her for someone else he had a respectful, honest face-to-face conversation with her...but he’s immature. 🙄 Okay. You’ve got that backwards sis. She needs to grow up.
To be fair she wasn't the one who was acting immature, all the comments to the post were being disrespectful and immature. She was just expressing how hurt she was, which is fair for her. Hopefully she didn't leave him because of these comments
Robert Han she is pretty damn big. I’d be worried for her health too, and maybe the mean comments could be a wake up call to work harder and try harder, and to create goals for yourself.
yeah, but if he does really care for her, he would understand why she would be upset, and plan some gym time and workout with her to accomplish her weight goals. Most men simply wouldn't give a fuck and just move on because they don't love her... It's that simple..
@@michaelangst6078 so if you really care for someone you have to hold their hand while they deal with all their insecurities? Thats wack we got our own shit to deal with too
Anyone else notice that the dude had a private conversation with his significant other, while she went to social media to people who don't give a $hit about her, but have an opinion without all of the facts lol
A conversation you have with a woman is never private. They need to run their mouths about it, and not always just to close friends. This is part of the reason why many men say to never open up to a woman.
@Noah Eden That is one of the main reasons I cannot be bothered with dating. So many good women would've ended up with really good guys. If they knew how to ignore their friends.
@Viktor Birkeland you are generalising and assuming stuff about people you don’t even know. I have worked in a male collective pretty much all my life and I can reassure you that this is bullshit. It really depends on a person and has nothing to do with gender.
I got with my bf 6 years ago. Through the stress of getting a couple of degrees in university, dealing with a lot of family loss and death, contraceptions that fucked up my body and just the general stress of growing up means I’d put on about 80lbs over the years. My boyfriend sat down and told me respectfully that he loves me and still thinks I’m beautiful but he’s worried about my future health and that the attraction has gone a little. It hurt, but I’m glad he was honest. I’d rather he tell me the truth than to not be attracted to me because I feel no pride in being “plus size”. It’s something I can change. Since then I’ve lost about 25lb (and then put a few lb since corona but I’m getting there) and I feel somewhat better. You’ve got to be honest with your partner or you’ll get nowhere.
I've actually had to have this hard conversation with a spouse of mine at one time. He had gotten so big that he didn't want to leave the house, eating was a financial burden, and the mood swings were out of control. I know it was because of obesity and he was overall unhappy. He had gotten to the point that he couldn't walk through certain doorways, had to stand at events because chairs wouldn't hold him, and he started isolating me from the world. Sex became difficult because of all the maneuvering. I understand loving for better or for worse but there is a time to draw the line.
I love how he came to talk to her in a serious and kind way, and they call him immature. He didn’t lie, he didn’t cheat, he didn’t leave her. He communicated like a mature partner.
I mean tbh, if you leave a partner because they get super fat I don’t think it makes you an asshole. Some people just aren’t attracted to obese people doesn’t make you an asshole. If they choose not to change then they’re being kinda selfish.
Women are never satisfied. They feed on drama. It would've been the same result if he lied and cheated. In all reality if he had cheated and they broke up because she was fat, it most likely would have been the push she needed to lose the weight. Not because of her health but to get revenge on her ex, and then as she entered a new relationship she'd gain it all back.
@@gear89 You sound like a proper wasteman the way that you're projecting your own internal shit onto all women? That is weird and immature. Maybe go work on yourself and stop generalising because of your own bad experiences and trauma. Do the inner work and attract healthy females.
My father said this during his toast at my wedding: “The #1 most important advice I can give you both, is to always have each other’s back. In private always, but in public especially. You are partners and there is no need to air grievances or dirty laundry to others.” (Dad was burned pretty bad by his nasty ex wife) People who gossip about their significant other suck. And people who social media post about their intimate relationship issues are upsetting.
Great Advice! My mother gave me the... a lady in the street, a chef in the kitchen and a freak in the bed advice and that lady out in the street means I don't share my business... simple rules...people who need social media validation need more real friends...
I agree. Husbands need to be taken care of just as much as the wife. It’s a two way street, and I share those values with whoever I date. If there was something he didn’t like about me I’d be HAPPY to change to make HIM happy, and I expect the same from him. Ya dig? 😊
@@Stormywaters13 It's not "only happens if one is overweight", but way more common to those who are overweight. "Way more" doesn't mean a mere 5%, btw.
Women: "Men need to open up and communicate more" Men: "I'm finding this relationship difficult and it would be helpf-" Women: "Who said you could talk?"
I dont understand why this same mindset isnt given for all preferences. For instance, if I say that my preference is to be with a man who can provide or who has acquired wealth/success, I would be slammed for it by men and dragged for days. It seems people are only okay with preferences when they share that same preference (attracted to fit/low weight, light skin, etc). I wish people would keep the same energy for all "preferences." When men become offended (and women too), they are suddenly not okay with certain preferences. Your comment can be applied to almost anything including income and other things. Just because you (not YOU literally) are comfortable with your low income, doesnt mean I have to be and should accept you.... right? Again, I'm not assuming you yourself are not wealthy or have these beliefs, but I notice a trend in men slamming women for preferences while agreeing that preferences are okay at other times.
@@yoboybigj875 Lol that's a lie. Where the hell did you learn that it was intended for deformed or disabled people? You don't have to be deformed to need body positivity. I'm not fat but I can name several examples where people especially young women/teen boys need body positivity (having small breasts, being a shorter man, having a frame that is considered not sexy by social standards, being dark skinned in almost every culture, having stretch marks, not having enough muscle tone as a man, etc)... and sometimes people have low self esteem who have seemingly fit/hot bodies. It's mental. Body positivity isnt just for the deformed, my dude. Any phsychologist/psychiatrist will tell you this.
Kay F Biz No man (boys maybe) will be upset that a woman is looking for a provider. That is instilled in us from day one. What men have an issue with is a woman using him as an atm machine. If you don’t want to be used as a booty call and nothing more then you should sympathize with men who dislike women that only talk to men that are willing to give them money. Men looking for a relationship aren’t interested in that. That would be called a business transaction. That being said, if a business transaction is all you want, that’s fine too. Just don’t be surprised when people who are not interested in that give you the cold shoulder. Substitute money with sex and everything I said applies to women and their feelings about men.
@@StefunnyStrange "Just because you (not YOU literally) are comfortable with your low income, doesnt mean I have to be and should accept you.... right?" Right. For an example of this watch a video called "Feminists Angry at Tim Poole's Dating Preference?" Women who never would have been interested in him anyway getting triggered that he has preferences that exclude them. You (not you literally) don't have to automatically accept other people's shortcomings into your own sphere just because that person is comfortable with it. Doesn't mean women have to savage men for being poor, short, fat, dumb, etc. And men don't have to do it either. I can appreciate somebody who is open and honest about their preferences rather being disingenuous about why they're interested in a rich man with few other endearing qualities or a young beautiful woman with the all personality and intelligence of an Australian Cane Toad. It gets a little bit harder for all of us to swallow when people start attacking each other for not ticking the boxes because, let's face it, at least 79% of us are probably not 8's and 9's. I don't go around blasting women who are too short, too dumb, too big, too fill-in-the-blank just because they aren't what I look for. But that's not entirely true either is it? Because we all find it too easy to get in on comments section and be a parrot in an echo chamber. But we gotta take everything we read in comments section with a grain of salt b/c social media is not real life, people tend to be more hyperbolic, more excitable, more aggressive, less inhibited and more....inventive with their own backstories. That's a double -edged sword because sometimes we realize these are not people who communicate here the same way they do in real life, so we're interacting with made-up characters that we treat like the people they project to be. Made up words that don't have real people behind them. Ripping into disagreeable or unattractive words on a monitor is easy, harmless and fun when we don't have to consider that words on a monitor have real experiences, problems and issues and we all have been on some kind of forum with aggressive words like "broke-ass", "lame", "fat", "cheap", "old", "stupid" and probably will again until it's time to pretend again that we haven't because we're better than that. Anyway that was kind of rambling but the short version is (1) you're right and (2) social media - to include the people slamming each other for preferences- is not real life.
I told my gf she had been gaining weight and it's caused me to lose a lot of attraction. She's done a complete 180 exercising and eating well. There's no easy way to say it but telling the truth is the best way
So basically . . Men have to love a woman no matter what she looks like ... however... women have the right to not even hold a conversation with a man if hes under 5'10"?🤔
My buddy's wife has grown HUGE over the years. She hurt her ankle once, and just became lazy and complacent. She's gotten morbidly obese now (like 300 lbs or more), and breathes heavy just sitting there. She used to be a dime! I see it in his face when he watches her eat, walks with her, etc. He hates it. He's a really good looking dude too and he has a great job, and supports her unconditionally, while she has a job at a grocery store, and makes pennies compared to him. He purposely started dieting, and signed up for those pre made highly nutritional meals to keep your calories low . He stopped eating junk food and started exercising regularly. He's gotten in phenomenal shape, but he keeps finding snacks, cookies, chips etc etc etc, that she hides around the house. She has a problem. She's addicted to food and junk food. She cries about her weight, but likes food and shitty tv too much to make a change. He finally got mad at her and now he's the bad guy! She's gonna have diabetes and heart failure, and he'll be stuck footing the bill for her poor choices, yet he's a sexist, fat shaming, pig? Fuck outta here!
Having an injury that hinders mobility can definitely lead to depression. Most of the time over eating is the symptom not the cause. She needs both mental and physical therapy. If he wants to leave he should go instead of resenting her for her weight gain.
@@shaffy856 I don't think he's being resentful. At least not yet. But if she refuses to admit and accept there's a problem (with her choices and mental state) and keeps going on with this and denies and refuses to get help then he will have every right to be resentful
Your friend's wife needs to seek help. She sounds depressed. Was she depressed before the ankle injury? She's unhappy about the marriage or herself or both? This might be fixable but she needs to admit it first. This is not only to save her marriage but also her physical health. She gave up. What can motivate her to care again and start making changes.
It sounds like she has some serious mental issues that have been exacerbated by the injury and weight gain. He may not have noticed it before because she was able to hide it well before her injury. Depression.....disordered eating...emotional trauma, all of these things will absolutely hinder her ability and desire to lose weight. I could be wrong, and she could just be lazy like you said, but it is unlikely that she went from being a “dime” to what she is now by having a lazy personality and tendencies. It sounds like self sabotage. He can provide all he support and tools she will ever need, but if SHE doesn’t get to the root of her fear of losing weight, it won’t happen. She needs therapy.
“Yeet that man baby out of your life. My parter has loved me through mental illness, weight gain, meds, etc.” My woman has all these same issues. Bipolar disorder, taking meds, gaining weight from these meds. You know what makes her endearing though? Not having this terrible attitude about it. Acknowledging how she can be hard to be around at times. Apologizing to me whenever she feels like she was being unfair. I feel sorry for the man that she’s with because it seems like she isn’t sorry for any of her baggage, she feels entitled to his love. She’s standing on a sinking ship, telling this girl she doesn’t need a life boat.
I've been married 30 years and our love is strong. Last week she told me to lose some weight. You know what?, I'm losing weight fast. I want her to be attracted to me physically also. Also I will live longer and be happier if I'm not fat. Truth is hard but necessary. Love is tough but worth fighting for.
It's one thing to say to somebody that they should lose weight because they want you to be healty and another thing to tell someone that they should loose weight because you don't find them attractive.Don't compare your situation,because you don't know how much people struggle these days
@Morgan Taylor first off thats not true I think some women like fat guys..second of all I wouldnt know, Im built like an NFL WR :) 6 ft 1 200 lean muscle
This guy is very mature. He is communicating honestly about something that bothers him. Honesty is not all rainbows, and unicorns. Sometimes, the truth hurts.
Personally, I think it’s straight up selfish to completely let yourself go physically when you settle in to a relationship. It puts your partner in a really awkward position and there’s absolutely no nice way to tell someone they’re putting on weight and becoming less sexually attractive to you. I think maintaining and improving on what you’ve got is a good way to safeguard your relationship for the future. You don’t have to look like a model, but you also shouldn’t go to the other extreme too of just eating whatever the fuck and not bothering to keep healthy.
Well that really depends. Many people with depression are crippled from self care. They should not be abondoned, they should be loved enough to be helped through therapy. But that is a very small exception. I agree with you.
@@faye7199 the post was about the feeling of entitlement. Usually those suffering through depression don't threaten people for not helping them through their problems
@@eromiko2028 I think they meant mentally, and I agree with that. Being physically and mentally healthy is attractive and should be what everyone strives for.
Exactly, because it shows in many ways not just aesthetically. Healthier people have more energy, better moods, are more secure in how they look as well.
@@pinkemotions5745 Both come together 99% of the time.. Besides retired fathers who lived their life.. They satisfaction they get looking at their belly you cant imagine..
Well if it was private conversation she wouldn't have posted it on social media to begin with. Once you put this stuff out there you can't claim its private yet you're letting the whole world to know your business.
My last girl I was with for four years. We were engaged. Near the end, it became difficult for me to want to have sex because she kept gaining weight. I tried to tell her calmly and nicely, tried going to the gym with her and lead by example. She’d diet for a month but just start pigging out after a month and get even bigger and meaner and more unhealthy. She was always snoring, out of breath, he . And of course all her friends discouraged her from losing weight, saying I was abusive and out of line. I’m single now as of a week ago, and honestly I’m so happy. I tried so hard to make it work and to get her to take care of herself. She’d eat ice cream with cereal and a fat glass of oat milk every night, like her diet was horrible. I’m so glad it’s over. There’s no way to fix it when your partner is fat and you aren’t attracted. Especially as a man, they’ll all call you a pig and shallow. Just leave her ass. She might lose weight afterwards and get all the attention but it is what it is. She dumped me because she was insecure, and thought I was getting fucked up and cheating on her. It broke my heart, even though she was heavy, she was the love of my life. But the amount of accusations and drama just SCREAMED insecurity to me. A confident woman doesn’t do that shit. And confidence starts with your physical well being. She was beautiful and still is. I hope she finds happiness and realized how much I actually loved her for who she was as a person, even if I was physically physically taken aback.
Can we get a year update? Are you now with someone who's more aligned with your fitness goals? I think the biggest factor of failure for women losing weight is most other women tell them "they're prefect the way they are"...nah that's some BS. I hope you're doing well now and with someone who's more compatible.
Listen, I’m married almost 20yrs and over the years I’ve told my husband.. DONT LET ME GET FAT!!! It’s his responsibility to tell me... Sometimes life gets in the way, work long hours.. etc... I need him to tell me period...her response should be.... babe let’s go to the gym together.... don’t be hurt by him telling you, ppl who luv you will let you know..
THANK YOU! It kills me how people will showcase and promise a set of values and attributes to attract you and then get mad when you point out when they're dropping the ball......Don't you think i"m telling you this because i want to stay here and I'm trying not to allow this to break us?!
My fiance mentioned that he noticed I had gained a few extra lbs (wasn't much but enough for him to notice). He very gently told me, that "we need to do better with dieting and exercise". I got the message and now I work out 6 days a week. It's a slow process shedding the weight but I'm truly grateful to have a man that was not afraid to tell me the truth and care enough to take the journey with me. More people should be like that. Coming from a fat girl, fat is fat and we shouldn't be offended when it's pointed out.
It doesn't have to be a slow process. People just don't understand what macro/micronutrients are, calorie deficit, and how to maintain a calorie deficit through lifting/running.
@@Lynn-rv4ty As stated before in the original comment, "... I'm truly grateful to have a man that was not afraid to tell me the truth and care enough to take the journey WITH me". So yes ma'am. 🙂
@@TILLEYJS Then ya weren’t in love and therefore the comments invalid. You love somebody, you help them if you can, they do the same for you. You don’t just toss it out at first inconvenience like a finished soda can. That’s what you do when you’re *not* feeling love for somebody.
"I am terrified that no one would ever love me again of we broke up" In all honesty, if who's talking is an adult (say 25+ yo) and that is really how she feels, then she needs to go see a psychologist. That level of low self-esteem can be really dangerous.
If I were heading into an uncontrollable unhealthy lifestyle, and my boyfriend DONT say anything about it to me, I would leave him. She should be grateful.
Though I salute you for saying this, men are stuck between a rock and a hard place. We don't experience most women who are honest enough with themselves to handle the hard truths. We're being told left and right to accept all body types and we get ran through the ringer for even speaking on a woman's weigh, whether the comments were made with legit love/ concern or not. But again, much respect to women like you.
If you can’t be real with your partner because you’re “afraid” then you’re just a pussy. Being fake is the opposite of what you’re suppose to do with them. How can you expect then to trust you if you’re always acting fake around them? Applause for this guy for not leaving. Instead he spoke the truth and didn’t even do it in a rude way. He could have used whale.
These comments are so black and white thinking Lol. How about saying the truth about how you feel and also offering support ? People have feelings, it’s what they do with those feelings that matter. Ok he said what he said, what now? What do they both do with those feelings and information? It seems like he said what he said without offering support and she did not ask for it either. The problem here is not that he said , it’s that they both seem to be handling things bad after the delivery lol of course that’s just an assumption based on what she said , we can’t really confirm since we weren’t there .
I was starting to get pretty chunky and my husband started saying, "we should get back in the gym" and "we should eat healthier". When he said this several more times in a month I finally got the hint and lost the extra weight. We only want each other to be healthy. But also, btw, being physically attracted to each other is imperative in a happy relationship. I'm glad he told me, I was miserable. But now it's his turn. Haha! He hasn't worked out since we got married and he lost all his muscle. And you're right, this kind of conversation hurts both of us.
Breaking news: physical attraction is an important part of romantic relationships. Guy did the right thing by letting her know like an adult. Obviously you can't expect your partner to always be in the same exact shape throughout the years, but there's bounds of reason, and a 100 pound weight gain is well outside of those bounds. That's a radical change in appearance.
Lua Dipa Doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes there is PPD, complications during delivery, issues adjusting to having a newborn and getting back to work, or something else. I’m not saying never, but I would say 1-2 years. Having a kid is hard on ones body. It took someone I know 3 months to heal from a c-section due to complications.
Sorta. I was dating an overweight woman for a while and after a year or two she came to me about how she felt about her weight and she started losing weight on her own. Of course I encouraged her but I didn't ever really tell her how I felt about it because I knew what sort of comments would be sent my way about that. She was actually more worried about how I would feel about her weight loss and I was like "nah you go do that, I want you to be healthy" and all that and that was enough to push her forward. Sadly I'm not with her anymore but I'm still proud of her for pushing herself forward.
Because the guys get their heads chewed off by the partner and the peanut gallery (social media and occasionally family/friends) . It shouldn't take courage for either party to be honest but if one sides gonna get backlash then what starts to happen is what Preach said. "That's why we Stfu".
@@crustydrag0n793 well yeah, eventually we all must face the truth.... denial can only last so long, difference is u telling them saves them dat time, part of their life that they wasted being ignorant or oblivious 😂
I'm brown, so I'm used to family and friends making comments about weight. They're the opposite of how some people today say, "You're beautiful, you dont need to lose weight". They're so honest, they will actually point out if you lost/gained weight or if parts of ur body are big/fat. 😭🤷
They're emotionally tone deaf so i wouldnt be surprised. I dont understand how they expect their man to level with them and talk through problems they're experiencing and communicate when this is their reaction.
This is what I would call toxic femininity. Look, she herself asks how she should handle this feeling because it sucks to feel like your partner isn't attracted to you anymore? A good friend would ask her if she's comfortable with her body or if she agrees with him. If she agrees with him then it's clear what she's supposed to do and where she needs help. If she disagrees, she has to confront him and see whether there's a different solution here, a compromise or maybe actually a break up. The women in that comment section just react by saying "oh drop him he should love you for bla bla bla" Who does that help? I think the woman asking was mature to adress her situation and thinking about how she should deal with it. The response she got was a different woman, don't drop them in the same bucket.
She should be happy that his man told her upfront he’s concern about how her weight is affecting their relationship. Most men would just leave without real explanation. He’s trying to work it out girl!
It's funny that we can talk about that anorectic people have a problem with their bodyimage and we have to be honnest with it, even those who work to heal them uses methods to show the differences between what the anorectic think it is and what the reality is.
I was in the same situation with my wife at the time, she was pretty thin when we met but after having our first son she gained weight, like she got a lil over 400 lbs, and I completely supported her in doing what she needed to lose weight, but she had become unattractive to me , and I told her in the best way I could. She was hurt, which I expected, but one day she shamed me for it calling me shallow. I didn’t say I wasn’t in love with her anymore. I think everyone has things they’re attracted to, certain predilections, how do I change that?? You can’t!
What happened for her to gain so much?? Its normal to gain weight during pregnancy but to get to almost 400??? Did she have post partum? Did she just let herself go cause she got too comfy?. Thats crazy honestly..
As long as the guy isn't a complete asshole, and is truly telling you from a place of love. I made clear to my girl that i don't need her to be a model, but im in no way attracted to BBW women. I work out to stay sexy for her, and i expect a degree of reciprocation.
What a weird logic. Like attractive people don’t get cheated on. The most beautiful people on the planet are having affairs left right centre and getting cheated on.
@@jeesus227 how😂 this sounds perfectly normal, wanting to workout to be sexy? Some people like to impress. You find it cringe cause you're probably to lazy to do anything useful for yourself.
I totally agree with you guys it would be a knife to the heart if I heard this from my partner but I still feel like I prefer the honesty sooooo much than getting blindsided by worse things happening as a result of him never being open about the attraction which is sooo important in a relationship!
body positivity is ironic in itself, it is about things we cannot change like being amputated or pepe size or height etc. it shouldnt be about weight which is doable for the most people, yeah maybe your genetics suck you have to put 5 times effort than an average person but PUT THE FUCKİNG FORK DOWN
No one can really control what they’re physically attracted to. He’s being honest with her instead of stringing her along in the relationship, and then leaving when he can’t take it anymore. She now has an opportunity to either work on her health, or to let this relationship go and find someone who’s attracted to her as she is. Most people want to be in a relationship with someone who is at a level of health they perceive to be comparable to their own. He did the mature thing by trying to have a kind conversation with her about it. Maybe they just don’t belong together.
yes! i totally agree. main thing that keeps a relationship is communication and honesty. him communicating means he really cares about her and wants it to work.
I just want to understand why a girl, who claims to love her boyfriend, is in a group that seems to revolve around tearing men down? I love my husband, and I believe wholeheartedly that men contribute so much good to society. The idea that men overestimate their market value is toxic, and I would never want to align myself with people like that, especially being in a loving relationship. My advice to her would be to abandon that group and focus on communicating more with her boyfriend so that an agreement can be reached. He does not seem unreasonable, and would likely be more than happy to be a support system for her as she seeks a healthier lifestyle.
Agreed!! And same here, i love my bf so much and want to understand everything about his life and what it's like to be a guy and what he struggles with. I even joined a group called 'father's matter' just to understand what feelings he may have when trying to parent our son. (We're new parents and he's still struggling)
I understand your point, but as a woman myself I feel that it is important to remember that in any friendship group, ANYTHING that can be perceived as a slight against your friend is going to set you off. I feel as though there is an added pressure in female circles to 'stick up' for your friend. While I myself don't want to date yet (I'm still in school), I know that there have been times when my friends were rejected from things such as universities or prefecthood, and upon seeing them upset I proceeded to make fun of whatever made them sad. Was this right? No. But it's uncomfortable to think that someone you care about is suffering. So I don't think that she purposefully surrounded herself with these women, I think this is just what happens when a woman gets rejected- her circle swoops in to make her feel as good as they possibly can (even though it's not right).
Honestly this why it is always good to have a therapist I mean you don’t have to see your therapist once a week or multiple times a week like once bi weekly is fine won’t hurt your pockets that bad and it’s always good to have a non bias opinion that you can bounce off on and also help you process the information event and see what is the healthiest response or course of action to take
If my girlfriend suffered health issues because I was too emotionally weak or immature to tell her that she’s was starting to become unhealthily overweight I would never forgive myself.
@@unavailablebbjh8720 It's okay to have an opinion. But you calling people simps for no reason. A simp is the one who would never be honest about some problems with his woman or in this case about his woman's weight. Also you understand that they raise offspring together? All the bad habits she has her children might have too. Everybody is influencing each other. Imagine she buys her shitty foods and feeds it to her children. Raising potentially fat unhealthy kids with bad habits. Telling your wife nicely something is wrong and bothering you is the way to have a healthy relationship rather than letting things go unchecked. Why I am even responding to you? Man it's just hella annoying that you can be this ignorant. Maybe you are angry and young. Things happen, we all been wrong sometimes.
@@suchag2916 listen men will tell there women that they are getting to big, he threw hints he just wasn’t direct. She knew she was gaining weight as well and big women aren’t attractive. She didnt respect him or her own children enough to loose weight and be some type of role model for them kids. But don’t worry because we have simps like you that will tell them it’s ok to be fat. Well when all women are fat and there are no attractive women for men like us we will be coming to kick your face in.
I gave up talking to my friends about my issues between me and my partner because it's always: "just drop him he's trash" or "he's such a loser who doesn't deserve him". It always made me feel pathetic for actually putting effort in to stay and try to figure out the problems that were happening. As soon as I stopped talking to my friends and focused more on communicating and listening to my partner our relationship has been the best it's ever been.
You're a great catch . Keep that going and he'll never leave. Your friends dont have any investment in him, and he should be given the chance to change.
spread your message far and wide...let them know that the girls who they thought were their friends are just haters that don't offer solutions that weigh the costs of you losing your relationship, because they have don't deal with the consequences
Love that he had the courage to say something to her - especially about something as sensitive as weight. But, honestly, before asking everyone and their mom about the situation she needs to ask herself if she's happy with her weight. If she isn't, maybe him speaking up is the wake-up call she needs to make change.
Agreed. I’ve seen it happen where someone seeks so much outside validation before deciding how they feel about something when the answer is usually inward/within the relationship.
My wife and I had a conversation like this. It was like hey we are both getting fat let's go to the gym together. So we are. I don't think he is wrong for being truthful and communicating his issues. Constructively if he and she are actually in love they should help each other. In this particular case maybe they should start working out together. Relationships are work and nothing worthwhile is ever easy. Listening to a bunch of internet trolls for advice that aren't vested in the relationship isn't wise IMO.
As a woman who has recently lost A LOT of weight (almost obese to a healthy weight) I can honestly say I can’t stand these kinds of ‘friends’ they’re fake af 🙄
friend's job is to make your emotional feel better. To be a motivator, at least for SOME people...requires others to be drill instructors. You cannot say that you would rather friends who slapped the sodas out your hands. Shit on your late night snacking habits or just that day when you don't feel well and you just want to relax. Yo9u want friends to look at you in disgust? because if you're an adult, and you KNOW your problem...yet you STILL ate some unhealthy foods...they would look at you in disgust. You KNOW your problem and you chose to ignore it. And if you want them to not say you're ok..they have to instead point out your stupidity. And no one wants friends who don't respect them. You'd feel that disrespect. Point is...you were never really going to be happy until YOU did the change. Stop putting that responsibility on your friends. Their only job is to make you feel better. And they THOUGHT that's what they were doing. And you can even look back on that now, and understand that. You can UNDERSTAND that they were trying to make you FEEL better. And that's their job. YOUR job is to accept where oyu are, then MAKE it better
Agon Leed but they didn’t motivate me or support me. They told me what they thought would shut me up the fastest, told me not to bother because ‘your beautiful the way you are’ or ‘I don’t think you’d suit being thinner anyway’ and these none of these people are even in my life anymore so I disagree with you on that one mate. My family helped me kick start the weight loss much more effectively when they got they scales out 😂
Sadly most friend groups have the crab bucket mentality where they would rather pull others in their group down than to help them get up, cause that would make them look bad in comparisson. I honestly cant imagine what would happen to a group dynamic in a group of 3 obese women, where one loses a lot of weight and becomes fit, someone should make a documentary about that
Speaking Truth yeah I think that if you have those kind of “standards” then you should be able to back some of it up yourself. Eg if you want someone fit then you should be fit too. Although if you got good game it doesn’t matter I guess. Besides, most girls and guys objectify when looking at celebrities, actors, models etc anyway.
@@no8002 I'm fairly sure he was also concerned about her health, alongside the concern for his attraction to her. We don't know that however, because it was not reported in her post. I would like to counter your claim by saying a relation without attraction for those under 50 is also a relationship in danger.
They would disguise it as “being worried for his health” or “he’s not the same”... if that. they might just use him for his wallet and cheat while he slaves away at work
You’re right. I had to learn to stop talking about my relationship to family and friends. A therapist -for me- made all the difference. I worked on myself. And this made our communication within the relationship better after I decided to do things differently.
Actually had the OPs conversation with my husband. It was hard to hear but necessary because he was also worried about my health. It was a wake up call and I'm glad he trusted me enough to tell me how he was feeling.
She answered her own question: he said it nicely. Can't help but wonder if she asked the online group because she knew they'd tell her what she wanted to hear that he was way outta line. He seems to love her despite his attraction issue as he spoke honestly but nicely about it with her. Would she have prefered he kept his mouth shut and said nothing and cheated or left her for someone else? It's not good communication in a relationship nor open and honest if only one person is allowed to do the communicating.
In my personal experience (what i lived and what my friends told me), women say a lot that they want mature and honnest men but theyreally struggle with the truth. Of course, all women are not like this, the girl of the story is acting very classy, but look at her friends... Plus, we can also see the issue the other way around? Is gaining so much weight is how you show to someone that you love them?
That's the first thing I thought. The fact that she's even considering leaving him doesn't really make sense to me. My mom has put on weight after FIVE KIDS and my parents have had conversations with each other about being healthier, she would never get mad at him just cause he noticed her weight gain. Relationships are about communication.
Enomfon Asuquo this is what those women believe in: They dont like to be held accountable of snything and the question turned to should i dump him or not. Not about do u need to lose weight...
Same I gained 20 pounds from the pandemic hitting, but I’m currently 10 pounds down so far! I thought he was being mean at first but he genuinely cares about my health and to be completely honest even after I lose another 10 I’m probably still gonna be kinda “overweight” for my height and am probably going to try and lose more
As a woman who's gained a lot of weight in the past year, I completely understand how she feels BUT! Love and attraction are two things. Just like weight, beauty and the power of confidence are not the same. My boyfriend reacted the same way as hers and, yes it hurted me BUT that made me realise somethings. I realised that I had an eating disorder (which I am now getting help for and getting all his support) and we realised together that with my weight gain I had lost A LOT of confidence and I worked on that (and still am) and suprise, suprise, he's very much more attracted to me on the days that I'm confident, that I take care of myself and dress in a way that makes me feel attracting. Also, why did you ask him if you did not want to hear the answer. I mean, personaly I was annoyed at everyone around me saying "no, it's not true, your pretty blablabla". For me it's a proof of love and respect to be honest. So.... yeah, I feel like the boyfriend did the right thing now she has to look inwards and understand why this is such a big issues. Btw you guys are amazing, I always enjoy watching your videos and listening to your opinions 👌🏻
"Im affraid no one else will ever love me" kind of sounded like she may not be in love with him and settling for the first person to give her the attention she always wanted. Seems like he wants it to work which is why he addressed the situation that was becoming an issue. If she not in love let him go and work herself
Yes I got that to She definitely is settling and If they were equally yoked from the beginning she wouldn’t even be offended by his comment to lose weight. but it sound like he got with her because she has low self-esteem
Good call. "I'm afraid no one else will love me" Aka "I don't love myself. I'm insecure. I deny my problems" She did say she loves him. But when you don't love yourself you start to doubt others' feelings for you. You don't believe they could love you because you know yourself the best and YOU don't love you. What she is saying is she doesn't like to work on her own problems. She looks for excuses to avoid issues. This is a toxic person. She needs to get some perspective and find self worth. I feel bad for her partner
@@IQCurves equally yoked?They not married they just dating.Why did you jump to the worse possible explanation of why they are together?Stop trying to victimize the woman.He could also maybe really like her personality and her as a person but ,she kept becoming less and less attractive to him physically. We don't know how the situation was for them when they got together.You just randomly saying "he must have got together cause of her low self esteem"without knowing how"yoked" they were at the start says more about what you think about her than him.
You're correct and i agree with this video said. the only conversation you have ABOUT your relationship is the person your in the relationship with. period. end of story.
Talking about changing as a person when serious disease and/or become disabled and watching the struggle for years , try and try but eventually still breaks the relationship in the end, that hit hard because it hits home. I have both disease and becoming disabled come to fuck me up, us up. The hardest being that the end looks pretty damn near after 8 years. When it just started I did already say like leave me and find someone else or don’t let your life be shit too because of me. I already knew then it would happen anyway. After years of not doing so and now see the signs of it anyway does hit differently and harder. Feeling guilt of wasting her years , as if I failed . There’s a lot that comes with it and most can’t relate or understand, so you casually laying the essence of it out , how short and simple it might be was refreshing, it validates things for me as I’m sure it will for others in the same kind of boat. Thank you!
No he didn't trust me you love some one you would stay with that person regardless of how much weight the person gain trust me he would not want she said the same thing to him
@@julianwelsh3600 Word your sentences better, they're difficult to read. But Yes, he does love her. Every healthy relationship should have partners that can connect on a mental(conversation), emotional, and physical level. While being physically attracted to someone isn't required, for the most part, there is a clear deficit that becomes present when a physical attraction is missing. Humans are naturally built to seek physical attraction, not having it takes a toll on most people over time and is unhealthy.
@@julianwelsh3600 Bullshit. Allowing herself to blow up like a balloon is completely disrespectful to him, as it would be if the situation were reversed. She's hurt because it means she has to change something about her lifestyle, and God forbid anyone disturb such a thing these days. A successful relationship takes work, which means talking things out, making compromises, even going to the gym. It doesn't come by just magically finding "the right person for you". Love is a decision, not a feeling, and by deciding not to keep her weight in check, she is showing a lack of it for him. Making the effort to maintain or improve your appeal (sexual or otherwise) for your partner is love in action. Tactfully advising them how they can best do so for you, like he did, is the same. Not to mention, most aspects of physical attractiveness are simply indicators of bodily and mental health. By attending to them (within natural limits), one generally improves their health.
That's why I don't do relationships. They are always one sided for women. Plus in 2020 women give out sex like its going out of style. I do better as a single man than I ever had in a relationship. Social media and celebrities have these basic bitches thinking they are one in a million. News flash ladies your one of a million. If I need companionship ill get a dog. At least I'll have loyalty. The days of death do us part are long gone.
Michael Capitoni Givin me incel vibes bro. Reality is you just haven’t found the right woman. Reasonable women exist. They are far and in between though.
@@CT-zi8em honestly I wonder where these guys find these kind of women. The only women I ever see are reasonable decent people. I don't know if you guys live in some shitty places or what.
My boyfriend has gained weight since we first started dating and even though he is the love of my life, sometimes its hard to be physically attractive to him, regardless of how much I love him. I also worry a lot about his health and have noticed him struggling with certain things more so than he used to. We talked about it and he whole heartily agrees with me. Since then he has been working out with me in order to lose weight, even though its really physically hard for him to lose weight. I told him that if I ever gained as much weight as he has that he should be honest and encourage me to work out with him, just like I did for him. I also love working out with him, we even sometimes hold hands on the treadmill lol 😂. Communication and understanding is key in these types of situations and I'm really glad that is something we are really good at in our relationship. 😊
I understand having this “talk” if the person is suddenly depressed and you become concerned & worried. I think the difference for me is that my husband and I both gained weight together after our daughter was born. There’s no judgment in our house because we are struggling together. It would probably be different if it was just me or him. I’ve lost 30 lbs and still have a bit more to go but he has never once threatened to leave me or what not. And tbh his “dad bod” is sexy as hell to me. Plus he literally held my hand and watched me push a human out of my body without drugs so he better respect and love me and let me lose weight in my own time lol.
Facts, physical health is important. If your watching a loved one go down an unhealthy life that lead to way more than a few pounds here and there, it's rough because you don't want to be the one to say it. Get healthy together and make it fun is my advice.
GOOD! its like your BF suddenly became obese, women dont say looks are that important but its actuallly for most women the nr1 factor like it is for men
@@speshalkmf9273 Yes, people don't understand how important sex is in a realstionship. From my understanding those who are toghter for a long time they still have sex often.
I think people need to learn to be alone before getting into a relationship. Love yourself before you try and love another. If you don’t know how to treat yourself how well are you gonna treat you’re partner? Not well at all imo
My in denial behind got to 260 lbs and everyone around me told me I was fine. People lie. ESPECIALLY women. They'll have you 500 lbs and tell you you're fine.
I wouldn't even say we're soft. I believe it's more because that we're so used to communicating with strangers and because of that, we never focus on oneself and self improvement and focus on what others think. It's to a point where people don't even talk to their significant other in terms of how to fix their relationship, they talk to random ass people who don't even know their first name and just end up getting terrible advice, and once you get terrible advice, you start developing terrible mindsets and then you gain a fragile ego and then you believe the world revolves around you and complain when someone else says otherwise.
It's just because it has a negative factor that you say about someone essentially. People think saying something negative about someone is automatically bad. If you're being honest and it's criticism about something that someone can change while staying calm and not judgemental you can say nearly anything. That's how we learn and become better. Some people just are really lazy and don't wanna think about things.
What annoys me is he didn’t run off and go cheat on her ass like a number of men would of done. He actually OPENED up just like preach said. Still a fucking problem
The fact is being that overweight is a serious health risk. There’s no way your thyroid is doing it’s job which can cause so many issues… you can absolutely love someone enough to care about their health. He could have just left her…
Gaining A LOT of weight not only affects the way the person looks, it changes there energy levels, changes their endurance, can make you depressed. He is probably concerned on multiple levels. He said the right thing, communication is key and he is bomb af at this.
The energy levels and wanting to spend time together are HUGE...Lets go hike/bike whatever. (I'm tired) OK I'll go by myself or with friends. (you don't spend enough time with me/or who you seeing?) So we do less and resent the relationship. Relationships need to complement our lives so both people can encourge each other to grow and be better. For many I think a relationship is for their EGO to 'be in one' even a bad one.
Not to mention the fact that if they are planning on having kids, a mothers obesity during pregnancy alone has been linked to all kinds of diseases in children, let alone the habits that an overweight parent will pass on to their child.
I hate this double standard that women have, body positivity doesn't mean I have to accept the standard you've given yourself. My partner and I have told each other that if either one of us gained a lot of weight and chose not to do anything about because of the health factor on top of not being able to do anything lifestyle wise we would leave each other and it wouldn't be an easy decision because we love each other but we're not going to be with someone that doesn't care about themselves to be willing to take care of themselves as well. Also I guarantee if a man put on weight the women would eventually leave to be with someone more attractive.
@Slaterhater Those shallow snakes turn on you at every chance they got. I competed in a bb competition and I needed to bulk up. She wasn't very happy about that and decided to poke one of my friends. Even though bulking for a bb is only a temporary state and you need to be shredded on stage. I guess that was just a pretext to fk my friend
Slaterhater Little reminder; women are no more all alike than men. Plus, I disagree that women care more about looks than men. I doubt women are any different from men in wanting an attractive mate. We all have different likes and dislikes. For instance, I happen to like men with big noses. Let the jokes begin!
XantoS441 It’s a little more shallow to blame every woman for being cheated on by one woman. Maybe get to know her character first before hooking up, then you stand a better chance of finding someone with a little self respect and maybe who respects you too. Or, keep on doing what you’re doing. Ever heard of Dr. Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life? Great book.
Ruby Laffoon the big picture is that people don’t want to be jugded about their preferences, if you like skinny girls better than you like skinny girls better, just like your example with noses. We’re not gonna judge you and say “you hate people with small noses”
John Henry Gotta get some help, not wallow in depression and over eating. Life is hard, if you’re depressed find some answers, can’t just give up and make excuses for yourself.
I got overweight in my relationship and my girlfriend told me the same thing (politely of course). Yeah, it sucked but I realized that just because you've been in a relationship for X amount of years doesn't mean you stop trying to impress your SO. I stopped trying to impress her because I got comfortable. So when she told me to hit the gym, guess what I did? I didn't post in some echo-chamber to make myself feel better. I hit the gym and am now looking and feeling better than I ever have before. I'd rather have my gf tell me to go to the gym than for her to leave me for someone who she is attracted too.
Yo i had a gf, when i started gaining weight and letting myself go ( was going through some mental health stuggles) and vocalized my frustration with myself, she would tell me she preferred me like that. At first i thought she just wanted me to me less attractive so i would have less options. ( as if i would have ever entertained such options, i was really in love ) In hindsight that was probably not the case as much as her just trying to make me feel better about myself. Looking back i still feel that for myself, having a partner unafraid to tell me the truth and encourage me to do what i already knew i needed to, to be happy with myself was all i really wanted. Thats all i really want now, but i guess thats what the boys are for. Nothing against women, i get it, its just hard to find a partner like that in your early 20's. Nobody wants to hurt their parner(in a healthy relationship) and we have a culture of acceptance rather than improvement and self preservation.
@9BeastKing literally my fucking roommate, gets so butthurt over guys with my build not giving her the time of day yet has had alot of dudes hit her up and her turn em down over their weight. Shits ridiculous. And then still has the gall to try making me feel like shit for being skinny or having a preference
Dude guys are way more sensitive about woman’s weight than girls are over guys weight. There’s way more skinny girls with overweight/heavier guys than skinny guys with heavier/overweight women and that’s because of society. Fat guys have more perks than fat women. It’s not fine for either side but society pressure sucks, and people will always have preferences but y’all acting like little whimps complaining about this online. Be honest to your friend and maybe support them in their journey if they want to lose weight
@@romyeverlane3202 when you aren't the most physically attractive you have to develop other skills to he desirable and alot of women, especially overweight women in my experience, feel like people owe them something and it's a problem with men and society and not the fact that they aren't very attractive and don't have the personality to offset that
@ageofbogyo Ummm, you will not find many women who are 100-120 pounds unless you're literally trying to date an 11 year old. That's not even me being all body positivity that's just not how much a normal woman weighs. Trust me.
That might be a normal weight for a woman who is 5 feet tall...but if you’re expecting taller women to weigh only that much you must be out of your god damn mind 😂
the normal healthy weight for a woman thats the average height of 5'4" is anywhere from around 100 pounds to around 140. As the height increases the normal healthy weight range will likewise increase. If the girl is a rather tall girl all the way up at 6 foot tall anything less than 140 would be considered underweight. if we split the difference of average height and rather tall at around 5'8 120 pounds would still be underweight.
I knew a girl that would explain her “type” to me ALL THE TIME. Super tall, abs, blue eyes. But GOD FORBID you say anything about her. Ya I don’t talk to her anymore
The only reason why this guy under attack is simply because he’s a man who’s expressing what he physically finds attractive. If it’s a woman expressing what she physically likes, like tall, skinny, and white nobody gives a shit.
woman got all these requirements. But when men want requirements it's a big problem for some reason. This is why man don't wanna get married. And social media pushes this agenda on modern men to accept these mature women requirements and these simps are also with these women
@123 abc some ppl really reallt struggle to lose weight, even by adopting a healthy life style. I have a friend whom was really obese and she tried for months and months to eat very well (her portions were still big, but she really changed up her diet), was working out,etc. After many uncessful attempts, she got that surgery where they take off a part of your stomach/intestines i dont remember lol, and she eventually lose weight (like a 100 pounds or so) because her appetite was so much smaller. Sometimes being fat as a lot to do with genes, hormones and appetite. Of course the unhealty lifestyle is a major factor in majority of the cases, but no it's not 100% a choice.
I had to have that talk with my girlfriend too. We've been together for 21 years and I still love her. Over those years, she gained 80 pounds and I told her (very gently) that she needed to loose weight. I told her that I was no longer attracted to her. It's not my fault if I feel this way, I would much rather be attracted to her still. Anyway, the problem is not all that, it is mostly the fact that because of her weight gain, she snores very loudly and we have to sleep in separate rooms, she cannot walk for more then 10 min or do any kind of activity, except watching movies, she has back and knee problem, etc. All in all, I told her that she needed to do something but I would also do it with her, to help and support her. She understood, she was not happy to hear it, but she knew she had been letting herself go for many years. I was sad to tell her that, to make her sad because I love her. But I though that it was my "duty" to help her realize that, that if I realy loved her, I would help her instead of letting her continue on this path of self destruction.
So rather than confronting your husband about it and telling him how you felt, you post it on social media and tell thousands of people about your relationship.
thats what they do. they involve people in the relationship that have nothing to do with the relationship - parents - friends - the government when ya sign that contract. and all 3 of these groups will ensure your marriage will fail.
The reason why I stopped talking about my business to some women. Some of them are reckless and bitter and will give you an advice coming from a bitter place.
I always try to bring differentiated perspectives. I haven’t heard the other persons perspective, so how can I demonize someone that’s only grievance is hurting you. My male friends want to speak to me about women because they want to understand our minds better. Many, not all, female friends I have, just want you to cheer them on as they do fuckery. Just my personal observation.
You’re trash kid I don’t think people want that. Unless if they really hate you, they don’t want that. Some people just don’t give good advice for whatever reason it may be.
And women know this. They all do. Ask them if they will tell their once buff boyfriend that he now has a huge gut or lost all his gains that they aren't attracted to him any longer.
It sure and the hell does. My husband as gained probably 20lb in the past 14 yrs of marriage but if he gained 100, I would not be attracted to him. 🤷🏾♀️
He was honest and I appreciate that he said what he feels without wrapping it in "I'm worried about your health". The health thing can be valid for some but it's BS if the partner has never said anything about your health in the past. If you don't have compassion or interest for my menses pain, if you don't support my mental illness issues, if you don't participate in creating nutrient rich dinners for us... then don't say that you are worried about my health. Lots of things about our partners can turn us off... and looks can, for some, be a big part of that.
What if someone doesn't have other health issues, though? Plus, some things can be changed without negative consequences, like weight. Other things, like having a period, can't really. Health is a completely valid reason to be concerned for an obese person- My best friend is very overweight and I worry about how little she cares, but I have absolutely no investment in how she looks. I just don't want her to suffer. People also tend to worry about my weight, though it's on the other end of the scale and I'm not even clinically underweight. If someone's weight is visibly outside of the safe range it's standard to be concerned.
