Healing The Primal Wound - An Adoption Catastrophe 

I'm in your corner my friend. So glad we are doing what we need to do to help ourselves and others.

Thanks so much for your thoughts. I completely agree. A great deal of inner work, and a wonderful community helps a great deal.

Thank you for your support and encouragement.

Hi, and you are welcome. I'm glad we're all here in community. Congrats on 14 years! We have come a long way!

The 💯% is something I thought would never, EVER, change. The reduction from 100 to 99 felt like a million heavy chains were taken from around my neck. It was miraculous to me. It's been slow progress, but every 1% that I've reduced my self hatred has allow me to practice self love. Thanks so much for sharing that with me. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere.

@@KevinBarhydt appreciate your words, thank you. my goal is to show myself the same compassion that I show to others. I have been building up others by letting them stand on my shoulders and that doesn't work. I kind of thought people in my life just tolerated me, the truth is entirely the opposite. That is a really cool thing to accept finally. This year should be interesting indeed. For maybe the first time ever I can say to myself, hey its ok, you are doing good things and people look up to and love you. I think due to the adoption I have had some strange views about relationships, like I needed to be with someone to be complete. That isn't true either. I have a long way to go, I will not go back to where I was just a few weeks ago. I know I'm riding a wave of emotion at the moment, so lets steer it somewhere positive right? I would like to stay in touch. I don't know anyone who is going through the same events. I do know that so many around me are either filled with anger, despair or hate for themselves or others. I don't want to be there. I hope your day treats you well, thank you for caring!

I need help

Thank you my friend for the kind response, yes, I agree It's better not to get triggered and to stay in the moment, it's so difficult. Sometimes. I find myself making 14 steps forward and 13 steps back. Sometimes. Progress not perfection!

I know that Joe. I know it deep in my heart. I love you very much.

Hi Sarah, I'm really glad you're here, too. It gives me peace. And hope. Thank you.

Thank you for sharing your heart here. I appreciate your reflections. It's so important for me to remember the primal wound has an enormous echo throughout the lives of all involved. Again, many thanks.

So glad you and I and so many of us are healing from the past, and enjoying each other in the now.

Hi Sue. I don't know if you watched this episode "So You're Married To An Adoptee" but I wanted to thank you. You were the direct catalyst for this episode: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-LtsDfl6o0M4.html. Many, many thanks for all your encouragement and support.

Amazing story! I'm so grateful that your journey, while difficult, has been one of hope and joy.

Catholic church have a lot to answer to they never had our welfare in the so called care we were just about money wat they could get my mum was 15 in 1967 wen she had me.

Thank you for your support and encouragement.

We need to be supportive of each other and trust God 🙏 Bless you Erin Sheldon

Thank you for your kind words.

My pleasure

You are very welcome 🙂

So glad you found this episode. It's been a real journey for a lot of us. Grateful to connect here. Many thanks!

Thanks. I understand. I really appreciate your watching and taking the time to comment. That means a lot to me.

You're very welcome, Marty. I'm hopeful for you and your family. There is a large and very set of supportive adoptee resources available, and I'm grateful to play a small part in this community.

@@KevinBarhydt it's all self protection. All of my friends who know him adore him and think he is an awesome kid. But he builds walls and wears masks of protection. Thankfully. He has a great moral compass.

God bless you Marty. Im a 37 year old adoptee. Don't ever give up on him.

@@fortitude1082 no chance of that happening. We need each other equally. As much as he frustrates me, he is my foxhole buddy for life!

Hi, thanks for your comment. I'm glad your thinking of the affect adoption can have. As far as love, it's possible we have mixed emotions in our relationships, and also have real and true love for others. It can be helpful to have a supportive community to bounce the feelings and thoughts off of others in healing. I wish you well! Again, many thanks.

Good question. Adoption is better than a life in care.

@@jmk1962 I think so too, not all, but a large number of adoptee's believe adoption is a terrible thing to endure. That is sad to me as an adoptive mother, we adopted a son when he was five months old, it was such a blessing to have him, he did make contact with his birth mother, I encouraged him to do so, but after thd meeting she made it clear she didn't want a relationship with him. That was seven years ago, and he is still hurt about it. I understand through my son's experience it's complicated, but how could it be worse than not having a family, and a place to call home.

@@ella5319 - I agree. I was adopted at 3 weeks old and I had fantastic parents. I'm 61 and finally got access to my file earlier this year. I made contact with my birth mother who lives in the US. She was delighted to hear I was alive and well and had a happy childhood but I am still a secret. I have 6 half siblings and she will not tell them about me for fear they will judge her. That is very hard for me to deal with as I feel I am something she is ashamed of and she is depriving me of the chance to get to know my siblings. I have spoken to her 3 times so I have been able to ask questions which has been helpful. She wants to stay in touch but TBH I have very mixed emotions and don't see the point in remaining in contact as she will not change her mind and we will run out if things to talk about or just go round in circles as it always gets back to me feeling I am a dirty secret. I cannot understand why she won't tell them about me and deal with their reaction and I don't want to hear about how delightful her new great grandchildren are as she loves babies and helps out looking after her grandchildren and great grandchildren all the time. What about me her first born, do I not matter? I am in regular contact with her sister, my aunt, who has been wonderful. She accepted me immediately when I DNA matched with her granddaughter. She phones me twice a week and we talk for hours. I met her in September as she too lives abroad in Europe. I feel as if I have known her my entire life as we bonded instantly on our first phonecall. She has told me all about that side of my family and she considers me to be part of her family which has been delightful. She is a very open person and I can happily talk to her about anything for hours but when it comes to my birth mother it is so awkward because we always cone back to the same thing, why can't she own up to having had me? Finding your birth family can be a good thing for adoptees. It's not about replacing your adoptive parents ( mine are both deceased) but it's more about finding out where you came from and feeling more complete as a person, knowing your history as any birth person does naturally from birth. I feel blessed to have found ny aunt but I don't feel any connection to my birth mother as she won't acknowledge my existence and it's all about her and how she feels.

I appreciate you taking the time to watch, and comment. Much appreciated. In what way do you mean negative? Just curious. Again, thank you.

@@KevinBarhydt its not negative, how you feel cant be denied

Ramona- words do have power but lies have more power and to pretend that these feelings are not true and don’t exist can destroy a person. How can anyone have even a lick of well-being if they don’t address, face and honor the truth? Pain is pain. We must label it with true words, face it and walk through it. Some of us will have no relief until the other side of eternity but if we lie about it or stuff it away, how can we possibly serve and love others in our time on earth?