Or could you do both? ____________________________________ If you wish to support our work, the Hillside Hermitage Sangha and this channel you are very welcome to do so via: www.hillsidehe...
This radical responsibility, it's all on "you". One who doesn't shy from this can only act in accordance with what they know is right or they will drown in their own discrepancy. I strive for this, thank you Bhante, for your directness and non compromise in the recognition of our situation as it is.
The Bhantes are right on here and are dispensing the bitter, though essential, medicine. Sometimes you do have to take the worldly dhammas of praise and criticism and throw them out altogether to live in a way that will answer the call, even if the criticism is from your parents. I do have a question on this topic: when one ordains in the Theravada isn't there the question to the one going forth if they have their parents' permission? If one is an orphan, or is older with parents who died long ago, or just flat out has parents who don't consent; how is this handled? Up to the discretion of the preceptor? I have a suspicion it's mainly just to see if anyone is going to come to the monastery and make trouble trying to drag you back to the world. Is this correct? For myself: I've wanted to ordain since I was a teenager and my parents gave full permission to do whatever I want with my life, but my mother strongly requested that I not stick her and dad in a nursing home when they are too old to take care of themselves. She was a nurse for many years and would share how squalid the conditions can be in those places. That time is drawing near and I am an only child, they have no one else to take care of them. As the Buddha pointed out we have an immeasurable debt to our parents and doing the best I can to support them towards the end of their lives is the least I can do. If one or more siblings were present to step in it would be different perhaps. There's no way I could continue calming the mind in a way efficient for practice knowing I left them to the wolves after they've done so much. If I am still alive after they no longer are, it would be my life's honor to try taking up a more formal mode of practice.
Majjhima Nikāya 71: The wanderer Vacchagotta asked the Buddha: “Master Gotama, is there any householder who, without abandoning the fetter of household life, on the dissolution of the body, made an end of suffering?” “Vaccha, there is no householder who, without abandoning the fetter of household life, on the dissolution of the body has made an end of suffering.” “Master Gotama, is there any householder who, without abandoning the fetter of household life, on the dissolution of the body has gone to heaven?” “Vaccha, there are not only one hundred or two or three or four or five hundred, but far more householders who, without abandoning the fetter of household life, on the dissolution of the body have gone to heaven.”
The good thing about Buddhism is that even if you cannot/do not want to become a bhikkhu, you can at least strive to become a Sotapanna, a stream-enterer.
@@MaramadeMahayana Don't be a sotapanna, then you have the dukkha of a sotapanna. Don't be a sakadagami, then you have the dukkha of a sakadagami. Don't be an anagami, then you have the dukkha of an anagami. Don't even be an arahant, then you have the dukkha of being an arahant.
Life is very complicated and so it is hard to make meaningful discision. I became monk for temporary but then lived for 18 years and then return to family life because my mom fell sick. To survive need to work living far from mom. Any way, I am lucky that I can often visit my mom and still practice the Dhamma.
What I have learned regarding kin is simply this: Just because a person is family doesn't necessarily mean that the relationship is mutually beneficial." "Regardless what becomes of others, do not neglect yourself"- Thomas a' Kempis, Theologian.
Thank you Bhante. I'm (unhappily) married and a father of 3. I'm having a hard time practicing under these conditions but it was my choice after all. I am trying to get myself weaned off sensuality and inclined towards a life to go forth when the little one is 18 if I live that long.
You arent alone in that struggle. Only one little fetter for me. I hope to familiarize him with the dhamma when he is able to comprehend so that at least when he is 18 he knows what I'm doing and why. The countdown for the robe and bowl is real
There is so much practice in householder life! Ordaining is ideal, but we can take what we have right in front of us and apply it to the Dhamma. The truth taught by the Buddha is not “over there”. It’s right here right now in the body and mind. Let’s all keep striving. Wishing you the best!
MN 98 ...And then, after he had eaten his morning meal, the brahmin Dhananjani went to the venerable Sariputta and exchanged greetings with him. When this courteous and amiable talk was finished, he sat down at one side and the venerable Sariputta asked him: "Are you diligent, Dhananjani?" "How can we be diligent, Master Sariputta, when we have to support our parents, our wife and children, and our slaves, servants, and workers (etc)...and when this body must also be refreshed and nourished?" [your conduct/kamma > your parents] "What do you think, Dhananjani? Suppose someone here were to behave contrary to the Dhamma, to behave unrighteously for the sake of his parents...and then because of such behaviour the wardens of hell were to drag him off to hell. Would he be able to free himself by pleading thus: 'It was for the sake of my parents that I behaved contrary to the Dhamma, that I behaved unrighteously, so let not the wardens of hell drag me off to hell'? Or would his parents be able to free him by pleading thus: 'It was for our sake that he behaved contrary to the Dhamma, that he behaved unrighteously, so let not the wardens of hell drag him off to hell'?" "No, Master Sariputta. Even while he was crying out, the wardens of hell would fling him into hell." [Here's the important bit] "Dhananjani, there are other kinds of work, profitable and in accordance with the Dhamma, by means of which one can support one's parents and at the same time both avoid doing evil and practise merit." --- It's far too common that laypeople think they need to ordain and then guilt-trip themselves about it. It is entirely possible to make great progress out of samsara as a layman, even attain sotapanna. Ordination should be the last thing you do. Don't use it as an excuse. Some other dhamma.. AN 9.2.12, sotapanna doesn't need perfect concentration, you can attain sotapanna mainly via accumulated wisdom and basic concentration (aka develop right view). AN 2.4.2, the only real way to repay your parents is teaching them the dhamma, eg helping them deal with reality or dukkha. Not easy, but extraordinary merit. DN 31, five ways to look after parents (and five ways they should look after you), mainly supporting them, while they should steer you right. SN 1.81, parents worship children who renounce, not the other way around.
Bhante, no pressure to address my question although I would deeply appreciate it given that your insights are very unique and are deeply penetrating for me. And thank you for your teachings, I finally feel confident in my practice. During anapanasati when I maintain recollection of calm in the body in conjunction with the body and presence of long/short breaths, my body starts moving on its own into different contortions. Im just letting it happen because it's anatta and stepping in would reinforce the perception of self and create aversion towards the movement. However, the sutta also clearly states to remain erect, so it's a bit of a dilemma from my perspective.
dear venerable sir, one can recognize the consequences of the bad action might come out later on from of that bad action. But what would be the IMMIEDIATE danger/consequences of bad action?
Bhante the world is disintegrating before our eyes , I believe we are on the brink of WW3 we will see suffering like never before. Bhante do you feel our moral compass is in decline there is a hopelessness we never arced before … what do you think ?
@@chingvang9320 hinduism itself has many different paths but usually they center around deity worship and devotion. Theravada says no such deities have any real existence. being a monk is a higher path in theravada than laylife.
From what I know lay people can attain the first stage of enlightenment (sotapanna) without ordaining, and if I recall correctly in a sutta there was even a non returner (anagami) that took care of his blind parents even though he, as a non returner, had no interest in lay life.
You'll have to find that out for yourself. No monk or nun can tell you what is definitely possible or not in your own practice. The monastic form is a form of convenience for full-time practice. It's a convention conducive to the practice above all else which is why it's valued so highly as a means of ending this tangled charade of dualistic becoming. The basic idea is a monk or nun practices full-time with few means of distraction. The householder has many things that pull them away from practice and wholesome living if they aren't careful. Some people simply have diseases or disabilities that make the harsh life of ascetic monasticism impossible, or they have other obligations that would be improper to abandon (like taking care of aged sick parents or a young dependent) in pursuit of an ideal. Everyone can strive to attain right view and make the effort to cultivate mindful awareness, sense restraint, and wholesome mental states while letting go of the unwholesome. I can also tell you from experience that I've seen some completely miserable monks, and I've seen laypeople who are dropping dukkha like a burning coal. Don't worry so much about the labels, just keep practicing. If you're a monk or a nun: practice. If you're a lay person: practice.
