Some of this is true, but you are incorrect that if someone forgives it somehow means they wont feel the need to talk about the offense ever again. This is necessary for personal healing with a few entrusted persons, not for gossip and slander. When someone has been abused or neglected that pain doesn't disappear. We can give it to Christ and choose to forgive but that wont change what we feel like a light switch. Many people cannot afford counsellors, or cant get to one. But they still need to work through the pain psychologically, emotionally and mentally, with close contacts. This is the way it was done millennia ago when there were no 'counsellors'. You must understand this is crucial, and having the pain and offense validated by close contacts is imperative. Otherwise, the pain remains unacknowledged, the victim is shamed or blamed and they internalize the pain because its never respected or heard. This creates deep angst and depression, sometimes leading to suicide. Thats the truth.
I appreciate the video! I have to say though, speaking about the offense again, most certainly does not mean you haven’t forgiven. It all depends on one’s motive for speaking on it. Venting, and gossiping are two totally different things. Venting is for the intent of releasing pressure, while gossiping has a malicious intent. When it’s something done to you personally, it’s not gossip because it has affected you in some way. We, as humans will always need to vent and unfortunately, not all can afford a counselor or therapist in which to do so. So we speak with those we trust and know will pray for us, and uplift us to get through one more leg of the journey. I wish that everyone had at least one person they could trust, who would positively help them; we surely would have a lot less craziness in this world!
Agreed! I was in a narcissistic relationship, therefore, I go on to speak about it and I don’t have anger or hate. If I’m talking about an encounter that occurred it is not to compare notes, but to ensure I can emphasize with them and they are understood. I have a ton of evidence for custody court not being used as punishment, but to expose the fruitless deeds of the dark continuing to protect my daughter as I've been doing.
@@sicibell surviving a narcissistically abusive relationship is TRAUMATIC! Unfortunately abuse is a taboo subject & survivors are not encouraged to share their stories. If it happened to you and your story will help someone else, talk about it! Psychological abuse is devastating and it happens more than what's reported because people aren't talking about it. Let the reason you share your story align with building the Kingdom of God. Let people know how God protected you, the hard lessons you learned about yourself & give hope. A salute your courage 👏
@@nowthriving indeed it is as, as my mother was the very first narcissist in my life unbeknownst to me was setting me up later in life to have a child with another narcissist. Social conditioning has trained individuals to not speak out and that contributes to as I say...silence is violence and has nothing to do with gossiping or unforgiveness, however AWARENESS! Awareness is key and our hope for the future is that we are part of the change to decrease the rising numbers of Domestic Violence cases. I stand in agreement with exactly what you said in the mighty name of Jesus! Amen and amen! God's divine protection is a part of my testimony that if you aren't saved become reborn again and leave the notion that you can accomplish this in your own strength. David needed the Lord of Hosts before he could defeat Goliah, right? Same devil, new levels! A narc is the new-age Goliath in our end times. Since my last post regarding custody court, the tables are turning and my Supreme Judge, Counselor, and Defender is helping me shut this down while I continue to protect my daughter. EVERYTHING IS GETTING EXPOSED step by step! God is helping me go through the hard parts, which we all at times don't want to take, but that is also part of our testimony! Thank you so much my sister in Christ for the encouragement, as you are highly favored, and may God's infinite blessings continue to rain upon you and your family. God bless always! Side note: I plan on teaching Narcissistic Abuse and Domestic Violence coaching courses from a Biblical standpoint on how you can escape a narcissist. What was meant for evil, God turned for my good! Praise the Lord for giving me His gift of discernment and that my past is the reason for the calling He put on my life. We all can understand that pain is of one color black, regardless of the trauma may be different, and we all serve a purpose in God's kingdom. My past trauma doesn't define me, but part of His plan is for the body of Christ to unite as a whole and each of us targets a specific group of people to bring awareness and bring Glory to the Most High!
I am in the forgiveness process too, but what helped me tremendously Is four keys of forgiveness: removing yourself from the center of the story of your hurt and releasing judgement off of the one who hurt you (no longer making yourself the victim), having empathy for the person who hurt you (putting yourself in their perspective and feeling what they're feeling), having compassion on the person who hurt you (which is defined as sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others), and loving the person who hurt you (which is an action and not a word). Hate in the Greek of the Bible Is miséō - properly, to detest (on a comparative basis); hence, denounce; to love someone or something less than someone (something) else, i.e. to renounce one choice in favor of another. Love and hate are a choice and an action. Loving someone can be in the form of apologizing to someone (even if you're not in the wrong), being kind to them, blessing them, praying for them. According to Terran Williams, the Greek word splagchnizomai, translated as compassion, means the stirring of the inward parts, which means the twisting of the intestines. Finally, ask God to help you forgive and use a lot of scripture to help you. He's been helping me in a great way and teaching me how to forgive. Ask Him to recontextualize the your past and see things the way God sees it. He will help you because he's been helping me
Focus on loving your parents. If they were without sin, who would they be? What blessings have they been to you? What goodness is in them? How wonderful would it be to have a relationship with the best version of them? Pray for them, desiring restoration for them. Everytime you think of how they have hurt you, think of some way you have hurt them or someone else, and remember how you like to have your own positives acknowledged more than your negatives.
If i chose not to want anything to do with the person who hurt me and still hurting till now,and already forgave him/her,does that mean thats i didnt really forgive them?
No. You can forgive someone and not return to a relationship with them. Forgiveness and reconciliation are 2 very different processes. You can learn more about the difference here: drgrantmullen.com/relationships/does-forgiveness-require-reconciliation/
I appreciate your sharing/trying to be helpful. Question. I am Buddhist. So are you saying only Jesus helps people forgive? The bible quote you read is a bit harsh, bc to many ppl. "love" is a strong word. Also, not everyone can afford a counselor. Or has one.😮
@@dianeibsen5994 Sin is missing the mark. When you KNOW what is write and you go against your conscience ,Like STEALING LYING FORNICATION HATING SOME ONE .NOT FORGIVING SOME ONE.WATCHING PORN, ECT ECT. Any thing you would not do with the Lord Jesus Christ sitting next to you because YOU KNOW THAT IT WOULD OFEND HIM
