HISTORY OF IDEAS - Dating 

The history of dating is an interesting and varied one. What are your thoughts on the future of dating? Let us know in the comments below. If you like this film be sure to subscribe to our channel and turn on notifications.

It's always fascinating to see the evolution of behaviour. What we think is perfectly normal, 20,30,100 years ago could be totally unfathomable.

The problem with dating nowadays its that we still believe we have to find "the love of your life" and it must have all the Disney qualities of a prince or a princess wich is stupid. Even when we think consciously that that is a naive idea, we have been trained for so many years to think like that and we do it subconsciously. Thanks to that idea we live in constant dispair and dissapointment when we realize no one checks all our expectations. And when we felt they do fulfill our unrealistic expectations, the feeling vanishes after 6-12 months. Because "romantic love" is just the instrument that the will of species use to manipulate individuals to procreate as Schopenhauer pointed out and know is scientifically proven that we literaly get a pump of dopamine that only last certain period of time when we are "in love". So my advice to make dating less frustrating is reduce your expectations, be curious about what the person is instead of judging them for what they are not but they "should" be. Also seek someone who has similar passions, humor, character and hobbies than you. Those are the things that are left over after the drug period. It is more like searching a good friend. And stop forcing relationships thinking it should last forever or longer. If it doesnt work just doesnt work. Nobody has a real special one, so dont feel bad about breaking up with someone!

Loved the lack of music background in this video. I appreciate the voice of the wonderful Alain, and I was able to follow the story much much better. Also the graphics and animations impecable ✨✨✨✨👍🏼 and Omg 2075? God have mercy

You skipped over the bit where divorce became acceptable.

Never had a dating. Don't even know what questions and what kind of conversations happens there.

I believe that western societies went from an extreme to another extreme. Going from reason over feelings to feelings over reason (especially physical attractiveness). I think that it's better to have a middle ground for relationships to last. Parents should guide us but not control us, and we really should never rely only on physical attractiveness. We should get to know a person for who they are before making any decision. Furthermore, when it finally comes to making a decision, we need to use our brain in addition to our heart and not just follow our heart blindly. Also, getting advice from others is important and I believe the best ones to get advice from are our parents. It's just my opinion in the end so... Do whatever dafuq you wanna do!

Didn’t expect the ending to see what it could be in the future, it was a nice touch well done!

I love how the one isn’t even a person😂

Black Mirror "Hang the DJ" episode shows a little bit more about the last case from the video

It's so interesting how art expresses clearly ideas that were previously laying dormant in everyones subconscious. Also known as the "aha moment"

Well, in my culture your husband is still chosen by your family, or at least should be accepted by them. Moreover, it is often important to understand whether they come from a good family. This history is mostly based on the 'western' world. Dating isn't something common in many countries across the world.

1. Once I was playing chess with a friend of mine who is an excelllent chess player. I was used to always losing when we played but I still loved it! One day, just before he only had to make a few moves to win, he said " because today is your birthday, we can turn the board at this point. So you'll get my position and hopefully win this time". What a gentleman! He offered me all those figures in the best possible position, but since I wasn't a good player, I didn't know what to do with them and once again I have lost! Well there is a life lesson in there too. I would be very happy for the people in the future, if they could so easily find the perfect partners for themselves, but if they don't get the necessary emotional education, I am afraid they will still fail. 2. Since there is a lesson about almost anything on this wonderful channel, the video called " On finding the right one" explains this much better! 3. And I am sure, even a hundred years from now, the following podcast episode with Alain de Botton ( the founder of this channel ) will help many people: " On Being with Krista Tippett, The True Hard Work of Love and Relationships" 4. There is a wonderful movie called " Her" that gave me a lot to think about...I never thought that a movie about a man who falls in love with a software would move me to tears. I highly recommend it! 5. And there is a very interesting Hidden Brain podcast about the history of marriage. It is called: " When Did Marraige Become So Hard". You can also complement it with another episode: "The Lonely American Man". 6. Friends who want to know about technology and divorce, the following podcast episode may help you to get divorced less painfully: " Note to Self . Wevorce: What Divorce by Algorithm Means for Marriage." Thanks a lot for this wonderful lesson. It was terribly interesting. Let's hope that everyone in a hundred years from now, will know about TSOL and they will watch all these videos as a part of their emotional education and they will suffer much less and they will be much better people than us!

Thanks for always reminding me I’m alone in the morning, School of life!

The concept of the man asking the woman out for an evening is really new thing. It used to be that the man would come "calling" to the woman's house, present his card and then have tea and cakes with her while her mother hovered around. The idea of two people going out is part of the freedom that took part in the 1920s. There are no plays, novels, or literature of any kind showing "dating" before this. Just check out the plays of Wilde or Shaw. Both always relied on a "class" division among people. For that matter all the Gilbert and Sullivan musicals surround class.

Babies getting engaged! Making all the single and looking folk feel bad 🙈

*I think love should be BALANCE between feeling and reason. Having reason over feeling nor feeling over reason kinda bit extreme I guess* We ofc can't live without money nor social status, yet we still need to have feelings (physically n emotionally attracted) to that person, so I think finding the balance is very important. But yeah it's just my opinion, still it's up to you to do wth you wanna do in your life😄

I don't think dating is going anywhere good. But this video is very thought-provoking!

I would love to hear an hour long podcast from School of Life every week. That'd be so amazing!

One of the best videos of yours. And i mean that not all you make are good, but this is. And reading the comments heals my heartbreake for the growing distance that is forming between me and my beloved. I was grown in a society that telled me that love was everything: not trained to feel differently, i was ever so prone to affection and tenderness, and so to suffering whenever the beloved dropped me. But at least i can recognize that not all we have or conceive today is the best tailored solution, for anything.

At the end of this film, this came out of my mouth un-deliberately : "wow" ! Thank you so much The School of Life !

this is pretty thought provoking, thank you! especially the future view. I wonder how it‘s gonna be, very exciting!

Would be nicer if the videos weren't so centered on the West. I think that the Asian, Latin American, African, and the Pacific regions also have their own stories to share. Also, can't help but notice that the video overlooks the somewhat modern phenomenon of "ghosting" (or did I miss that??) because I honestly find that development very ubiquitous in modern dating. Would also be nice if it featured/highlighted , perhaps, the occurrence and prevalence of memes & celebrity statements online that help change society's viewpoints of modern dating, such as on cheating, on what age to start dating seriously, and on what age is it considered that one is mature enough to make decisions on dating. All in all, still a very good video. What more to expect from Alain and The School of Life. Much love from the Philippines!

It's been a while since you guys posted about the history of anything, miss these.

Thank you for clearing up such a crucial aspect of our lives 🙏

This is the best way to subtly let us know that we have went from valuing economical n societial thinking to using other values unknown to people centuries before us becz of the conditions around those eras priorities have really changed since we r soo advanced now

I am enlightened!! Thanx you guys are doing great job!!

Amazing!!every day I watch a new one

I read your essay! But it’s pleasure to see this.

You forgot September 12th, 2012: tinder was launched.

Love how you guys can see into the future

thank you! I needed this.

Great video. Very interesting how dating has evolved

Hey SchoolOfLife! Can you please do a video about having fake friends? As in feeling paranoid about not having anyone who honestly cares for you outside of your family, feeling very alone and socially awkward even though you have certain people who you tend to hang out with...?

There is no divine or intrinsic value placed on marriage these days so I think dating will become more and more pointless for those actually looking for something serious

Excellent video. Thanks

In 'Don Quixote', by Cervantes, there is already an episode in which he talks about the importance of love and the feeling of young people for marriage, as well as the need for parents to guarantee the mutual convenience of this union.

Reaaally cool animation and style, the ending especially was really cool, but I would have liked some music in the background!

Your voice is just perfect!

A very interesting summary. You’re going to get a lot of people complaining that this is centred on the west though - again

7:26 reminds me of an au i read where people have soulmates and when one's soulmate dies they get a surgery to disrupt the link they had. they ended up falling in love without it and it was really sweet.

title is translated to dating in the meaning of age determination in german ("datierung")

Wow the future spin was unexpected! Great tho, and a scary proposed future that it seems we're heading too. Technology going from once being tools to constructs that will shape and dictate our lives...aahhh creepy but plausible 😮 great content as usual SOL the trip back in time was fascinating, surely marks how much we've progressed.

This was very interesting! Well, what is your opinion on how dating should ideally look like in the future? Maybe you could make a video about that.

Thank you!

You’ve got mail was based in NYC, not LA. In the movie, the two character wasn’t contacting each other online for purpose of dating, just friendship. However it did inevitably led to a somewhat complicated romantic relationship.

Wasn't Romeo And Juliet written almost 200 years before Julie? And since the play features two people falling in love despite families being rivals,it shows that the idea of dating someone purely out of love had been explored before Julie.

Dating is a taboo in India. Is it considered as a terrible crime, especially when their children choose partners with low/high social status and castes. It is sooo much worse in India that many boys are being killed by the girls family members.

I think that there should be a medium between the head and the heart when it comes to dating. And I believe that although many more people nowadays get divorced, that doesn’t necessarily correlate perfectly to happiness in marriage. It is much more acceptable to get a divorce now than it ever has been, which not only would make one think that people would’ve used to get divorced more had they the choice, but also that people now don’t feel the pressure to work extremely difficult problems out, because they can just leave.

The 'subtle' train going into the tunnel!!! Toot toot!!! LMAO

I really would like to see a Philosophy video about Erich Fromm and his "Art of Loving.It will be a very good continuation of this topic.

This video brought me in to mind the song “in the year 2525” it’s like for told future

Our own primal decisions for the rest of our life should be built up, not decided in just one moment. Memories build into the passionate moments.

I think that even though all these social customs have an influence on our emotional vocabulary and certainly set out the rules and possibilities of even our inner understandings and workings of "love" and shared happiness (whether for a shorter period of time or a lifetime) what is true now and what has been supposedly true throughout the ages is the "meaningful encounter". Dating can be a functional activity to find a fitting partner or a romantic play, but at the core is something that is bigger than cultures and customs, namely the connection of likeminded human beings - if only for the magical moment of a brief encounter. We long to be understood and understand others, we long to connect with our surroundings, to be able to show our weak and vulnerable sides as well as be appreciated for our strong and shining selves, so an honest and fulfilling connection between two people is nothing that can be substituted. In fact, today we expect these things to be mostly shared with our partners or friends (if they are to be close to us it is them who should allow for that), whereas in theory can (and in actual, historical practice it was) fulfilled by different people ... or remained unfulfilled, pushed away to the subconscious, etc. Still, that doesn't mean that it had ever been redundant or might soon become so (people will feel nostalgic and retro and might return to it when they see that robots and gadgets aren't a true substitute for that) and dating is still a very nice and fitting area for explorations of that sort (as long as you manage to free yourself from the awkwardness or social rigidity surrounding this "institution")...

Lotta love for a lotta these blessings 🍀

the more you mature the more you realize it's importance

Please please please school of life make a video on how to get a date or dates.Please your perspective can be very helpful

Very informative link🔗 best wishes

Should have included 2018 school of life teaches about relationships, mental health and self improvement which profoundly turns the dating world around from intuition to wholeheartedness and courgae

While people are young most of them date for bedroom activities. When people are more mature in age, they often date to find a lifelong partner.

Age plays a role due to our minds developing over time. We learn from our past experiences and some make adjustments. But truth be told some never learn, also some see dating in a complete different light then others do. You can give two single fifty year olds the same dating history but both of their mindsets on the subject will be entirely different. One could be hopeless while the other could believe love is endless. There’s simply too many variables, although history has shown very repetitive charts on dating no matter the intentions.

In industrial victorian northern England young adults were expected to move out of the overcrowded slum home as soon as possible . This mean marrying whoever was available and willing . Marriage of convenience.

Great! Only 57 more years to go!

0:09 Macri Gato a la vista!!

Interesting look into dating but I don't see many people agreeing to that type of future dating since you might end up losing some individuality

Really interesting as usual! Thank you. BTW, the chess board is wrongly set!

Yes I needed this got a date next week 🙏🙏🙏 thanks to our school of life overlords

21 and never dated

Ah yes! The salt shaker intro!

love your Italian pronunciation

I understood this completely! The pendulum swings. I did find it interesting, you didn't mention the 'mid-swing' of the pendulum. I find that very important, esp. in this day and age. Having the 'chaperone' there is supposed to keep everything safe. (That's for both party's best interest.) Also, I've found it very important to meet parents, friends, and family BEFORE the rose-colored glasses are on....if at all possible. (LOL!) :D

All of this sounds so very unpleasant. Especially the idea of having sex before marrying, rather than testing your compatibility in other ways before committing to a lifelong relationship and having sex.

See you all in 2075...

Love the train shot entering the tunnel 4:49 when talking about sex haha

Can somebody tell me the name and artist of the painting at 1:55? It's so beautiful!

I'm not sure I agree. I think the biggest indicator of a happy relationship is found within the person instead of in their partner. It doesn't matter if you have the perfectly calculated person to be with if you don't love yourself and you'll sabotage things or not know how to effectively communicate. To me, the ideal is that you date and fail at a bunch of relationships until you understand yourself. Not to mention that even if you're a perfect match today, next year you could be a completely different person based on your life experiences.

I love how the place that dating goes to die is Singapore

This type of history seems to be located in a particular geographical place

The German title for this video says "The history of dating (but dating like dating an event)". It would fit better if it was "Die Geschichte des Datings"

7:57.... BARBARELLA!!! New HBO Jane Fonda docudrama is kick ass!

Okay. That was a funny video.

You definitely took a left turn after Arthur and Katherine. I thought you'd talk about how his brother Henry VIII married her, divorced her then started on his own way of "dating."

The narrative of this content is imbued with inspiration. A book with related themes deeply influenced me. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint

This video highlights western dating. Eastern “dating” is very different

You skipped a little bit about the fact when the divorce became acceptable and having mistress became unacceptable..

I think these should just be called the European history of dating

Hitting the wall at 30 has an affect on dating.

Interesting view of the future. I'm curious, in your view would this become something mandated by government or instituted by social convention? With the varying levels of culture and resource distribution, do you believe this would be universal or only those places which can afford the technology would be able to adopt it? Do you think this would still have to compete with the other methods of selecting a partner?

The problem with modern dating isn't HOW we do it, it's why. The difference between the modern "romance based" dating and methods where family were involved is you understood that marriage was never about YOU and YOUR happiness. What we define as happiness is really just individuals who are preoccupied with their own pleasure. Pleasing others, serving the needs of others is also pleasurable but to a selfish self absorbed person, it's a torturous task to meet another's needs, to make someone else happy. That's really it in a nutshell

omg, the 2075 is like in the goodplace how they get put with their soulmate

*2075 is an episode of Black Mirror*

The key is to make all the people in society good people so they can date anyone.

5:30 - nice

Was this reposted? I feel like i have watched this already. Or was it under some other title?

The future looks bright.

Good videos but in most of the series, you really should add " in Europe" to the title, cos they look at the history and present in Europe alone 😅

What video editor software do you guys use?

Marrying for love might not make u happier than marrying for money. In the latter option you are at least rich and free from the obligation of working. Love marriages are often some struggle love scenario where u are not valued and the man is always feeling insecure about his manliness cos he can't provide.

WTF. How do you know it's gonna be in Singapore. May. 2075. I'm so impressed. Positively. I am living in a real-life simulation based on the past isn't it? I KNEW IT.

Online dating and meeting lots of people really does ensure you will have weeded out the bad ones and ended up with someone who may meet our ultimate desires... not sure if AI will EVER be able to do that!