Again, this has very interesting phrasing. "it is possible" and I know it to be true and random, but I mean let's be real, it's not gonna happen to me... well, guess what
"When you hit rock bottom, you figure out who your real friends are." Man, that hit close to home for me. When I was diagnosed with cancer a couple of years ago, my best friend of many years reacted in the completely wrong way. There was a lot of buildup to this, but led me to decide to break off the friendship. It's probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I know it was the right thing. I wouldn't say getting sick forced me to rethink my assumptions-not a lot, at least-but it definitely changed my outlook on life, and I grew a lot in the process. Thank you for a great video, and sorry I'm only getting around to watching it now.
@@B3Band i don't think you're interpreting that the right way. He's saying his friend reacted in a way that was disrespectful to the news of his cancer diagnosis. So he had to drop his friend. I don't know what you got from this unless you just skimmed through the comment. It isn't even that long
I can relate, going through some rough times psychologically. I lost many parts of my life at the start of 2020 and it only seems to be getting worse. Most of the people I called friends just don't seem bothered. If I disappear for two weeks, only a few care enough to call me. One friend, in particular, has not made it easy for me. He has diminished my issues many times and got uncomfortably close to my girlfriend, so much I had to break it off with both. But I think I've found a few people I can trust in the process.
Joshua Scholar the reality is they will always win, because they attract people who are willing to believe anything they are told, whereas more idealist political views are always more nuanced and less agreeable with other idealist views. This lack of unity will always doom idealism
A lot of that is reactionary rote fear. We have a tendency here in the States to do everything in our power to discount the concept of luck for anything and everything. This extends to calamities and successes.
What's weird is at times we can see a polar shift. Sometimes we assume someone must be a good person because something bad happened to them and are enduring suffering. Or someone who is fortunate must be a bad person because they probably cheated to be successful.
@@madattaktube I think that's about it. Plus, depending on HOW conservative we're talking, there might be an element of "black people don't deserve welfare because black" sprinkled in there, too.
7:55 a Swedish comedian tried to describe modern Sweden by modifying classic quotes, and my favorite was " god works in mysterious ways, so we just don't bother"
I wrote an academic work about the ascension of human rights after WW2 and why today many people are focusing in re-writing the history because the generation that saw the wars are dying. My country, Brazil, is one of those whose own population keep trying to say that the two totalitarians governments we had in the 20th Century weren't totalitarian or that they weren't as "as bad as we thought". In consequence to this, we have left and right going for the extremes once again, hate between then and towards certain minorities are rising very quickly, like many other nations around the globe. We are close to repeating history once again. And dont stop, I love you videos, even if many of them talk about problems faced by the North American society, you have an excelent and dinamic way to make your arguments and have a solid base to defend them!! Many thanks from Brazil!! 🇧🇷
Having spent my entire life watching my mother, who spent forty years as a nurse and is basically the most hard-working, dedicated, generally good person I've ever met, get completely shit on by the very institution she worked in and then have to scrape by on a state pension that won't even cover her living expenses... Yeah I don't have any fucking illusions that there is any sort of poetic justice to life.
@@nickr365 how is he being edgy? Hes providing his own example of how the world shits on good people all the time while some rich people who would sell thier own mother into slavery reap all the benefits in life.
@@ispartacus1337 The reap the benefits of the system, not life. That distinction actually matters. Be that poetic justice then. Stand up for something that's not going the right way in your opinion.
That romantic belief of poetic justice in life is a very American thing. I live in a country where 80% of the population lost their jobs within 2 years. And a big amount of them never found as new one. stops any romantic notions about diligent people being successful and lazy ones being poor when you have nuclear physicists sweeping the streets for pocket money.
This video spoke to me on a personal level. on June 28th, 2009 at 10:20pm was my earth shattering rock bottom. it was the moment I learned that my 19 year old brother was murdered two blocks from our house. It the moment I realized bad things happen to good people and, as of this video, I realize I concluded a year later that the Just World is a fallacy. the proceeding year after his death was a rebuilding year for my family and I. It was this time I look back and recognize that I made fundamental changes for the better. Before his death I was scared of taking risk, meaning should I ask for the promotion, or get that new job, or ask that girl out. I was an introvert with zero social skills. during the rebuilding year I forced myself to meet new people at my job and began socializing. It were these people today that have become my best friends and helped me to over come my fear of taking risks. I think the combination of my brother being murdered and my now best friends showing me the way that paved the path for me to quit and get a better job, to end a toxic relationship and be single, and to become a socialite. I am now 10000x better off then I was on June 27th 2009. I appreciate all the content you put out, I love history and the psychology videos are fascinating to me. I like that i now have words that describe what I've been through.
I remember a Brazilian comediant giving an interview and talking about how much she HATED the supposedly nice things people would say to her when she began her cancer treatment. It went somewhat like this: "A lot of people would come to me and say: 'You are going to beat cancer because you are such a NICE person!' and that made me so irrationaly angry, because that meant that if I died of cancer, those people would go about whispering 'Welp, guess she was secretly evil, after all..." Others would claim my good humor would save me. Ok, so now if I die I'm a shitty comedian. Gee, thanks. There were those who said God would save me. So, if I died, that means I am beyond God's love. Others still -and that I couldn't forgive - would dare to smile and freaking say: 'Oh, don't worry, you are gonna come through because you LOVE your children and that love is gonna give you strenght!'. Now, that was something! I actually screamed at their face. 'COME ON, you are implying that if I freaking die that means I DON'T LOVE MY KIDS, YOU F*****!'"
I literally just thought how nice it’d be for a Knowing Better video to drop right now, and lo and behold! I must have just used up all my luck allotted for life
Kanar Pireh hey man if you’re addicted to the stuff get out now, the longer you wait the worse your withdrawals will be. And if you’re having withdrawals Kratom is a god send. Best of luck
Backspacing my novel length comment in order to not be That Person. Suffice it to say, I'm at the lowest of low places right now, not sure how to get out, and this video made me cry a lot.
Thank you for sharing your experience and your growth. I'm sorry for your hardships along the way but I appreciate the result. Also, thanks for creating something I can use to help explain my own situation
I spent my teens and 20's an addict. My mid 30's to 50's a charmed life. Nothing bad ever happened. My mid to late 50's - divorce, family separation, leukemia, broken back, financial worries. I have now rearranged my perspectives. I am a good person that bad things have happened to. It's ok because it is my journey. Thank you for being a positive force along the way.
What I've learned in my 70 years is that there is no "bottom", at least not one made of rock. Just when you think you've hit bottom, the floor drops out from under you and you drop to another bottom. My ex-wife loved to say "What goes around comes around." However she could never come up with an example.
Random things happen randomly, but probability of it not happening is indiced by incidences so just keep looking. The more and more you do, the more your chances approach 1
this is a late reply but could you help me understand your comment? It feels like its based on an understanding of the connotation of calling gender/sex a "spectrum" as opposed to a "gradient"? I'm not a native speaker so I thought those 2 words are pretty interchangeable
@@Loeffellux A gradient is an increase or decrease in magnitude of a property, such as temperature. While a spectrum is used to classify something, or suggest that it can be classified, in terms of its position on a scale between two extreme or opposite points. So he's trying to say that gender can be in between boy or girl. Sex on the other hand can only be one of two, male or female. I think he means hermaphrodites are somewhere between male and female when using the term gradient there.
I had a different experience than "hitting rock bottom makes you realise who your real friends are." mine was, I realised how low I had gone and how mistaken in my worldview I really was, BECAUSE people I considered real friends had abandoned me. I re-evaluated my stance on world and personal issues, saw how hateful I had become, and made active changes. I didn't change completely (there's aspects of myself I like and I'm keeping them), but I am a better person for it. I don't have those friends anymore and I do miss them sometimes, but Life said no.
I remember hearing that song back in highschool *once* on the radio, really liking it, being the only one, and never being able to figure out what it was again. You just solved a 20 year loop for me. Thanks friend.
There’s also a really lovely version of When Doves Cry that was done for Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo and Juliet. I always pair the two songs together in my mind. And hey- maybe you’ll find another song you like.
I was applying for a PhD. I was working hard and following all my rituals properly (I have ocd). Then I didn't make it anywhere. For a week I lay in bed feeling broken. That week made me re-evaluate everything I believed in--that hard work alone will get me far, that following all my steps would keep me safe. After I was able to renegotiate my beliefs, it felt like a fog lifting off my mind, I was able to plan better and eventually got an acceptance
Something like that happened to me. Which made me come to the realization that hard, being competent and even kissing ass gets you nowhere. Success in life all comes down to who you know. If you know someone that has a position of power and they like you, then you will be successful...If not, then good luck because It’s a shot in the dark.
I tend to be pretty grounded on these type matters, not falling victim to many of the fallacies KB discusses (sometimes to a fault). The same thing happened to me in regards to working towards a goal. I hyped myself up and became very driven to drag myself out of a financial and depressive rut. A couple years later things were no better, possibly worse, and it drove me deeper into depression than before. Striving for something and forcing a positive outlook made it even harder when I realized it seemed to have done no better than when I was just coasting through life and fine with getting by. Today I'm in a much better place, seeing a clear future ahead of me and maintaining a healthy outlook on life. It's a tough world but seeing a place for yourself in it is possible and can be done in a realistic way.
This hardly seems like anything relatable to hardship...you're going to get rejected from a percentage of places regardless. If you don't get ANYTHING then that's a much more grave problem. Say the people that are unemployed for long periods. "Well they must be lazy" is the common statement
Oof. That bit of knowing who your true friends are hit me a bit harder than I thought it would. I lost a friend group who I trusted after not accepting an abuse girlfriend who left me with PTSD. But I also remember being suicidal one night and a different friend was there for me and is probably the one reason I'm still alive and I'm so thankful for her.
Perhaps so, but that's not what you implied. You said that essentially only people in the armed forces can get PTSD. I think I see where you're going here, you're trying to frame Fiona Djw as a "snowflake" or some such because of a breakup, but I don't think you read the comment fully. They mention an abusive relationship, which certainly could cause PTSD depending on the degree of abuse and how long it lasted. Rather than telling people how they should feel or telling them to STFU, maybe you could try listening or perhaps empathy. You might come off as less of a douche that way. "It's just a thought".
I've suffered abuse from my dad for my entire life and still do today. I'm not an adult as I am only 16 years old. I realise and fully accept some of these ideas but not all of them. For a while I blamed myself and now I understand that it isn't because I'm a bad person. But I still feel like good things happen to good people. Maybe I need to hold on to that for hope? Idk. Great vid!
I agree with your point and disagree with the idea that shattering things can only happen as an adult. I come from an abusive household and I don't remember ever feeling parents/adults were smarter than me. It's taken me a long time to realise that people with more experience are worth listening to. I also used to hate people that would have good things happen to them, and I was afraid of being kind to people because I worried that they were secretly abusive and horrible (like my dad who had all these friends and seemed nice to everyone else). I do agree, however, that trauma makes the best people. It's something that makes it hard to want a kid because they will need to experience hardship and I hate even watching my siblings in emotional pain.
White the reason he mentions adulthood as a major qualifier because of neurological development that happens in your early 20’s, or at least that’s what it appear to be to me. As a child and teenager I experienced things that realistically far outweigh the trauma of what I’ve experienced as an adult in terms of their overall scope, but because those happened when I was a kid I didn’t fully process what had happened on an emotional level. I mean, my fundamentalist Christian grandmother dying of cancer when I was 8 did give me a strong hatred of religion at an early age but aside from that adulthood trauma has served to be far more influential, and pretty much all of it has been more or less self inflicted.
White like losing family members to cancer and suicide is far more traumatic than drug induced psychotic episodes and infidelity but my addiction and recovery period and coping with losing friends and romantic partners and potential careers to just plain shitty decisions has been far influential with my behavior moving forward than anything that happened when I was a kid.
I love that how you order and phrase things makes it sound like the release of "Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen" was the most traumatic event in your life.
Lol. Yeah, what about when something crappy happens to someone, and some lovely theist tells them to "trust in gods plan". That will be the most common answer you get from the religious. You can't say the demigod "shattered" it, when the vast majority of his followers still use him and some unknowable plan to explain every ill in the world
the fairy tales usually dont have happy endings, it was a disney invention, bad people are punished in the end and that is it, good people still endup really bad, no one is magically cured and have a happy ending
@@appa609 but isn't that the point? Evil prospers without the intentional action of good men. Gardens are symbolic of humans triumphing over nature (which is deadly if left untamed), because the gardeners continuously remove what's bad and nuture what's good. Without the gardener the weeds take over again.
1) It's always amazed me that people actually believe any of that good person/bad person stuff. 2) My favorite pop psychology book is 'The Peter Principle.' It basically posits that as you go through your professional life and do your job well, you tend to be promoted, receive raises, praise, etc. Then you reach what the author calls your 'level of incompetence' where you're just over your head and don't know what to do. The thing is, though, that either no one notices, your underlings aren't going to say anything, and/or whoever promoted you won't admit to the error. It's actually a pretty good read.
I'm a little late, but I don't think it's usually an open admittance to believing good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. It's more of a subconscious belief that we use to justify when bad things happen to good people because this troubles us. I feel like the best example is with people blaming the victim in sexual abuse/rape because the entire "well maybe if she didn't dress like that" is far too common, but obviously it can be a bit of a touchy subject. This subconscious belief isn't usually necessarily thought of as "they're a bad person" either, I think it's more commonly expressed as "they must have done something to deserve/cause that."
@@woodchuck3550 You do realize that not all who blame victims blame it based on just world? I've understood the real critic there is that "There are bad people in the world, we cannot change this, so you are basically just raising the odds of being attacked when you dress in a certain way", I'd wage that most just world proponents are religious and this should be taken into count and be studied.
@@Night60700 It must be really frustrating for you to comment with such frequency about _"your evilness"_ yet get no reaction for 12 months from anyone in these comments. If you're still alive, would you now revise your extreme form of self-categorisation?
I actually have a tendency to think the opposite of the Just World hypothesis. "Only the good die young, all the evil seem to live forever" Iron Maiden
What's difficult during those traumatic events is having to cut ties with toxic people when you need a support system the most. It feels isolating. And those toxic people believe you are the irrational, crazy person for deciding to walk away specifically because you were at the lowest point. It justifies all the negative things they continue to say to other family members, mutual friends, etc.
Having been the positive force in many of my family and friend's lives... This is absolute bullshit. People who reached their lowest point ARE the worst, most negative version of themselves. My grandmother was a vindictive almost violent woman to keep her hoarding. My uncle stole my grandfather's(his dead fathers) chain from me and pawned it to buy cocaine and weed. Despite these things I helped my grandmother through her hoarding and pulled my uncle through his addiction, but they know how horrible they were. Any person escaping their lowest point that can't own up to how horrible of a person they were has made -zero- improvement and I'd wager will go right back to it.
I can agree with this, I went though this change too, honestly probably still am, I pushed everyone away I felt they where all just using me and never wanted to actually help me when I needed it, I left myself with absolutely no one not talking to a single human for months on end. I am actually still in that hole I guess, I do have a single family member I still talk to from time to time. things have been getting a bit better as I have been rebuilding my online friends again though.
If I wanted to cut ties with the most toxic person in my life, I would likely have to cut ties with myself, and I do have a plan for that, I am just not ready to do it yet ,I hope I will never be ready for that.
@@setcheck67, I think we're on different pages, but that's fine. You applied your experience to a completely different situation. In your scenario the toxic people were the ones at rock bottom; that's not the case with what I'm addressing.
@@dragonkingf3, I'm not sure what your situation is, but you never know when someone can walk into your life to lend support or friendship. Sounds like you're finding that already, so I hope better times are ahead for you.
This came along at the right time for me so thank you and has helped to give me a framework to make sense of what happened in my life and in the lives of others in my family from 2016-2019, although I admit I was skeptical at the first viewing and worried a little about my own biases. So I watched again after doing a little research and 24 hours later I am writing these lines. Your latest offering has made a surprising difference to me and perhaps to others; I find what you put out thought-provoking and engaging. My elderly mother developed dementia and then terminal cancer and passed away in mid-2018 and I was her principal carer (while still working full time) and I frequently ranted and railed at the sky about why a good woman was dealt these blows and why I was faced with hard choice after hard choice in respect of her medical care and quality of life. One family member assigned her fate to karma (which I found and still find offensive) and others invoked "God's plan" for her (and me) (offensive again). What your presentation tells me personally is that my reactions are normal and those of others around me are normal too. Lastly, without planning to or realising it I am in the process of that re-evaluation and growth, but it is so very painful. There are/were days when I thought I was going mad, like a dog chasing it's tail. And I miss my mum terribly. So thanks and keep up the good work.
Wow! You really put some things that I have been thinking into words. I am always afraid to be hurt by people I trust, these days. "It happened before, so it will happen again."
When my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was in 3rd grade, I figured it was kinda like a lottery; your number gets yanked and BAM! [She had a lumpectomy and radiation- totally fine now] Maybe some people thought it was because of something but idk I know she smokes, but also has a family history of breast cancer going back generations. Not super relevant to the video I know
Very relavant. I'd say. The just world hypothesis that he kept using isn't nearly as universal a belief as he seems to believe. It was personally hammered home as a child that karma was not real. It was an idea from the devil to turn people from God. My shattered world was losing my faith.
@@gabemerritt3139 id imagine many, many people have that. i personally am probably way to young to have gotten a situation like that, but i had some real situations that have changed me a lot
I’ll be the 1000th person to suggest that “spectrum” might be the word you were looking for, but my background in math and graphics makes me prefer “gradient” anyhow. Edit: That’ll teach me to comment before finishing the video.
@@Quintinohthree Yeah, believe you're right. I was thinking of things like a color ramp/gradient in graphics or a halocline (salinity gradient). But in physics, the Del symbol represents a matrix of partial derivatives and is called a gradient. We might both be right, or for all I know, yours could be the more general case.
Well I throw the “Good and Bad” theory a long time ago Bad things happen to “good” people all the time and “bad” people get away with what they have done all the time if not always and won’t get what they deserve. sometimes they get praised as being “Good” when in fact they are not. And people are much more complex to fit the “Good/Bad” character And who is a Great friend to you might be. A horrible husband and Father.
That is true. I've read countless stories of horrible child/spousal abuse where people would say, "They seemed like a normal, happy family. They seemed loving." Like the Turpin family in Perris, CA. Occasionally took their kids to Disneyland and chained them up in their rooms the rest of the time. But at least those horrifically monstrous people will rot in prison.
To be fair, good and bad do have some meaning, but it's an artificial construct, not a natural one. By that I mean that humans tend to reward what they consider to be good behaviour and punish what they consider to be bad behaviour. This isn't karma, divine action or luck, it's just a conscious decision by other people. And then there's also consequences for actions - if you run out in front of a moving train, you are probably going to get killed or at least injured regardless of whether you are good or bad. And no matter how good you've been, you probably aren't getting that expensive christmas present if no one can afford to buy it for you.
Well done! I’m happy to see you working within the psychology sphere, where I personally think you shine. I disagree with the light implication that objective good and evil cannot exist without the Just World hypothesis/fallacy. The same goes for the more direct implication that perseverance is not a desirable and fruitful strategy. A well-examined, introspective choice to hold fast can be immensely fruitful for an individual’s pursuit of happiness and meaning.
Disagree, we Finns have a saying "To go through grey stone(bedrock)" which at the same time can be used for describing the strength of will as in "The will to go through grey stone" or the ridiculousness of doing such a thing when you can merely go around it. I think persevering through traumatic events without changing a bit of their world view is the latter. It is in effect like a child blocking their ears and screaming when they hear something they don't want to.
It’s funny how even some Christians believe that good things happen to good people, even though the Bible clearly says that’s not true. There are a lot of things that people think are Christian beliefs simply because their “good parents” said so. And thanks for the plug-in for recovering addicts. 👍
Right on. The bible is pretty clear that people ought to get what they deserve, but that's not how the world is. I'd say injustice and mercy are essential themes in the text.
@@GradyHouger I always thought of it as suffering is mostly a continuous condition of man and problems that we face are of not of gods doing but a symptom of how we all interact with the world. Bad shit just happens no matter what your creed in life is.
rorrim0 I don’t think you’re too far off. The Psalms and the book of Ecclesiastes talk plenty of evil deeds going unpunished. In Revelation, we see the Millennial Kingdom where Christ is physically present and immediately righting wrongs. But even in that utopia, people rise against Christ in what becomes the Battle at Armageddon. Then finally, when Christ establishes New Heaven and New Earth, we don’t see any more injustice. By this point, the unsaved and demons have been thrown into the lake of fire and the saved have new bodies unaffected by the curse of sin. No curse, no sin, no injustice. Seems legit. On a side note, it was this perspective on sin that made me realize how our “spectrum” of right and wrong is caused by sin. In a perfect world, genetics should copy down to the next generation no problem. In our fallen world, we have plenty of genetic issues causing confusing issues such as those born intersex. What was black and white before is now a more complicated issue. Thankfully, we can tackle all these issues together through loving one another.
Brandon Davidson I think you refer to Charismatic? Most Christian denominations are Evangelical, with (to my knowledge) Roman Catholic being a major exception.
I always thought I knew everything in life, then something happened and now I'm feeling empty and aimless. I've been always underachieving in life yet somehow manage to do things well and now I realized I know nothing at all. So, if you think Haidt wrote that specific chapter for you, for me you made this video specially for me. Thanks.
I know this video is kind of old, but it resonated a lot with me. I'm 25 and haven't had a specific traumatic event happen to me, but I have experienced a series of minor traumas since graduating from university two and half years ago. I graduated with two useless general degrees (Art and Science, if you must know) and I haven't been able to get a professional job in my city (yes, I want a job in my city, not my "field", because I know what's important to me and I don't care what work I do so long as I don't have to leave behind everyone I care about). Hell, I can't even get a job that'll give me consistent hours, so I can live independently. People my age only ever say two things to me, either that I'll get a job eventually because the world is fair or that I'm a lazy, spoil bad person who's choosing to be unemployed and everyone who has a job just tried harder to get one. The reality is that I've made a lot of dumb choice. I didn't get a part-time job as a teenager, when it's much, much easier to get them, I chose two utterly useless degrees, when I could have chosen degrees that were more career focused (and not worried about how fun they would be) and I focused too much on being smart and not enough on making friends (or keeping the friends I had). I actually regret not going to parties and getting drunk because of how important it is to build connections with people and get real life experience outside of the classroom. So yes, a lot of basic assumptions of my generation ("study hard and you'll succeed", "follow your (career) passions", "don't worry about your relationships because grades are all that matter") have been shattered for me. Not because of a single trauma, but because of the perpetual trauma of having to live with the consequences of my socially-approved, yet terrible, decisions. My worldview has done a total 180 in the years after graduating and if I ever have kids I'll tell them to get a part-time job in high school, make lots of friends, get laid and not worry about their grades too much, so long as they're passing, which is the total opposite of the basic assumptions of everyone else my age. A lot of people would call that terrible advice, but I know from experience that it isn't. The world isn't fair, hard work isn't always rewarded and employers care way more about work/life experience and social skills than grades. I really wish I could make other young people see all that, but I can't. Probably because they haven't experienced any traumas that have forced them to re-evaluate their lives. I disagree with the video's claim that it takes a single, massive all-consuming traumatic event to make a person re-evaluate their lives. I think a series of traumas (or in my case, a period of continual trauma) can do it, so long as it forces you to re-evaluate your basic assumptions (which are invisible if you aren't forced to re-evaluate them), but I definitely agree with the video's other claims, especially the idea of growth through adversity (though adversity doesn't necessarily lead to growth and can also break a person). I've noticed that people who've experienced adversity are better at handling disagreement than people who haven't, probably because they're more aware of their base assumptions and are more likely to understand that they aren't shared by everyone. It's very hard to convince people who haven't been traumatised that the ideas I listed above are actually (false) ideas that they believe. Thanks a lot for making this video, it's really opened my eyes and feel free to think I'm just a whiny young person, in case an even bigger trauma is coming for me.
You know, the more I watch this video, the more I really think that this doesn't apply to all people. Maybe at some point in my life I thought of a real "good and evil", but I think that at this point in my life I no longer think of things as being that way, or even on a gradient, as you say. I do believe in good and bad *actions*, but those are often so complex, with different motivations and bits of knowledge available to those who made those actions. Having said all of that, I don't particularly remember going through anything so traumatic that I had to really reconsider my entire life. I will say, though, that I have always been an avid learner of history, and there is no greater pastime (in my opinion) within the historical community than judging, re-judging, and re-judging again the past lives of our ancestors. Hitler, Caesar, Washington, etc. - their entire lives scrutinized bit by bit by people many many years down the line from them. And really, it's perhaps that study that has taught me there is no such thing as good or evil. So perhaps your indication that the ideas of good and evil are ingrained into us irreversibly (except by a traumatic event) isn't entirely correct, and that you *can* be taught how to overcome that instinct. That's just my two cents though.
Yeah, I thought the same thing. I did at one piont believe in the "just world hypothesis," however, ive learned that that just isnt the case a long time ago, and it didnt take any traumatic event. I just kind of read history and changed my views of the world becahse of it.
He DID say at the end not everybody goes through The Traumatic Event. It is possible to hit the rock bottom differently, just much harder to do. I have also studied history, but it was not the only thing that shattered my assumptions
There’s a difference implied in what he’s saying between consciously overcoming the just world fallacy and unconsciously overcoming it. Most of this psychology says that no matter how much a person denies the concepts on an intellectual level, they still believe them on a subconscious level until a trauma forces that subconscious idea into the conscious. You don’t have to agree with that assertion, but stating that you think you don’t believe in the just world hypothesis is exactly what the research would suggest.
I will admit there are very few truly evil people. But as one of them. I can say the purpose of an evil person is to make the world a more fast paced world.
I was thinking about what you said and while watching I was like yeah, I had that experience when I was 20, I ended up in a mental hospital and had my world views totally shattered and had to rebuild from scratch. A few minutes later I was checking my lottery tickets and I realised that every time I say a sort of prayer and promise all sorts of things, a different thing each time, hoping that some day I'll make the right promise and I'll deserve to win and then win. But if course, it's random. It doesn't make a difference if I promise to use it to help people or just to use it wisely for myself or that I'll go to church every Sunday or anything, but I do still have that belief that good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. And then I realised that when I had that earth shattering experience I did turn it on myself and convinced myself that I was bad and that's why these bad things happened to me and I changed myself completely and set ridiculous standards for myself which I still beat myself up for not reaching to this day. So yeah, I guess I have to go and think all over again. Thanks.
Its not the just the fact that they didnt have to re build its the fact that nothing changed for america europe afterwards stoped trying to kill eachother every other day and formed a united goverment to help eachother plus massive changes to indevidual countrys
What helped me grow a lot was when I got out if the Sargon, TL:DR, etc. Crowd. I’ve learned and grown a lot since then, though it was definitely hard at first with all the questions, some I still haven’t answered fully.
Growing up I was extremely religious, to the point that I wanted to go into the seminary and become a priest when I graduated high school. At 15, in discussing this with my pastor, he told me that I had too many questions to be a priest. Things were a little weird for the few years after that. Traumatic is definitely more than just having something unexpectedly bad happen.
Having questions should never be an issue when learning doctrine. As a mathematician, I’m never happy with a half-explained answer. Thankfully, I had a good Christian math teacher in college that described these foundational beliefs as axioms, the building blocks that by definition must be assumed to be correct. You can use your own experiences as your set of axioms, or you can use something else like the Bible, and what set of axioms you choose determines your perspective. After that, I found that the Bible and science don’t contradict the way I thought, although it takes scrutinizing the assumptions that some scientists make. Unfortunately, anyone that thinks you’re asking too many questions may fear not knowing the answer to them, and that person still has room for growth of his own.
@@danielevans7439 I mean, that was 15 years ago, and it forced a pretty fundamental reevaluation of my views on God and religion. I suppose unlike many it didn't turn me entirely atheist, but it certainly changed how I viewed my beliefs and those of others.
@@danielevans7439 Having had too many unexplainable spiritual experiences, I could never genuinely accept the lack of existence of a higher power, but to have my faith so blatantly rebuked forced me to reconsider the nature of that power and the idea that "God works in mysterious ways". Admittedly, there were two or three years where I swung between suicidal depression and hedonism, but when I was finally able to separate God from the individuals that make up the Church, I decided there might be more to the notion that a narrow path that excludes those who merely lack the opportunity to hear the Gospels isn't consistent with a genuinely benevolent higher being. I take a more syncretistic view of religion now, noting where most tend to overlap, and how many are influenced by beliefs that were perhaps important or necessary in their time, but require their own evolution to fit a changing and growing world. I also strongly doubt the idea that this is "it", that this life is more akin to the chance to make mistakes and learn from them in order to get the messy business of figuring out a lot of how to live well when it doesn't really count. The irony of that belief is obviously that if everyone felt that way, people wouldn't take their lives seriously, undermining the whole point of this learning period. However, it feels more in line with a truly subtle, benevolent higher power to me to arrange it such, and it settles the "bad things to good people" question by putting it in the context of "in the long run, it's not as big of a deal". Ultimately, the basis of all morality and ethics stem from the same pro-social source, so I don't think it wound up changing my behavior (aside from moving me away from a dogmatic adherence to doctrine), but the motivation for me changed, and I think it ultimately gave me with a much greater capacity to endure hardship than I had beforehand. It was definitely a rough five or six years there for a while, though. It's not the most satisfying conclusion, but life's paradoxes also help it avoid becoming to stale or rigid, greatly lengthening the usefulness of whatever purpose existence is meant to serve by making some questions unanswerable since striving may be more important than arriving. Anyway, thanks for asking, and I hope that satisfies your curiosity.
Michael Wade Thanks for sharing. I’ll admit that people unreached by the Gospel does trouble me. From a Biblical perspective, I can see that all people are descendants of Noah, and thus somewhere along the line, a person decided to step away from God and teach something else. It doesn’t answer the problem on a personal level, but it does explain how God judges entire groups of people in the Old Testament. But still, I can’t call myself a Christian if I don’t take the Great Commission very seriously and do what I can to bring the Gospel to everyone.
I'm one of those people who have never had a truly traumatic event happen to me. I started the journey of relearning and reorganizing about 10 years ago and man, you're not wrong, it takes a long time. On the bright side, it has taught me to be much more critical and open-minded about my own assumptions, a quality that has me learning something useful nearly every day.
This was by far your best video ever. As a recovering person I am only beginning to testify to the life, mind and body altering experiences it has taught me. I want to make my life better, and getting to rebuild it without the needs of Just worlds is elaighting.
I'm watching this now while sick with covid. I'd been more careful and safe than anyone else I know and I've been mentally torturing myself trying to find what I did wrong. Suffice it to say I needed to hear this right now
I just found this after recovering from my own traumatic experience that shattered a fundamental belief I had, as well as recovering from an ED, and it's nice to know that more people have had this happen.
Brilliant video. Really spoke to me ^_^ I also think that being in my post-traumatic state has genuinely made me live for happiness and be a better parent.
*Michael Myres stabs himself experimentally* "Ow! Oh shit! Oh, holy crap is THAT what I've been doing to people all these years?! No wonder I went to hell!"
When I first watched this years ago, I was terrified of the prospect of hitting this rock bottom. 3 years later, my Dad is on hospice with cancer and does not much time to live. I've done a lot to be there for him and help take care of him. This week, he's accused me of not loving him and not caring about him, and spewed hours of verbal abuse over the phone. My honest guess is tumors in his brain are messing with his emotions, as well as his fentynal patches and obvious anxiety of . My dying father accusing me of not loving him is definitely something I would consider traumatic. But in a strange way, I'm thankful for going through this situation. I've come to realize that my stepsister has always been supportive and will be there for me. I've also learned that my two best friends not only have my back, but have made me a better person. And while my dad is definitely mentally compromised in some way now, it has made me realize the extent to which my Dad has been a toxic figure in my life. There are definitely moments I look back on fondly with him and I love him, but there was a lot of anxiety and feelings of inadequacy he's cause me over the years. To be clear, I think my dad did his best, but our relationship was filled with a toxic combination evangelical Christianity and post divorce jealousy towards my mom. I'm hoping that the near future brings me post traumatic growth. I just remembered this video and wanted to share this story.
Thank you for this video. You have encapsulated in a short video, a notion that I have been unable to grasp in a way that I can explain. I am in your debt, thank you for this observation. You do good work
one year later and this is one of those videos that helped me restructure and rework my life and my thought process. I had to basically reinvent myself from the ground up and it was the best thing to happen to me.
Amazing video. Have been in therapy for year, CPTSD from my childhood. It has been a long hard road. Recently, therapist agreed, I had to cut my toxic family loose. Now I am trying to rebuild my belief system and a new life. This video has given me strength to carry on. Thank you so much for that.
I'm a Christian, and I certainly do not think good things only happen to good people, and bad things to bad, because literally, everyone is "bad." And in the Bible, Jesus literally dies on the cross, and he was the definition of "good." In the Old Testament, Job was near perfect, and terrible things happened to him. Bad things often happen more to good people in the Bible.
"I'm a good person, right?" "[...] No one is good except God alone." -Jesus, Mark 10:18 Being Christian, I don't believe in "deserve". I believe in "forgive".
Right, in this new "tolerant" world of ironically, Social Justice, anyone with a religious view is shunted aside because "we can't bring that into the discussion " Funny, considering that IS the discussion. The reason we are all under sin is so that we can experience our own bad in direct juxtaposition to God's goodness, hence the need for a Saviour. I mean, that is Precisely what we are talking about here in this video. Karma is a lie, the world is not just. And based on God's sovereignty, everything Actually Does happen for a reason. So yes, trauma is a real thing, does not take sides, and it is a nearly universal experience. Hence the opportunity for gaining wisdom. But trauma is not a prerequisite for having wisdom, either. It's not an on/off binary switch. God criticizes Job's friends specifically because they assumed he had to have sinned in order for calamity to exist. Job's answer: "though He slay me, yet I will praise Him..." I would say that was an answer born of adversity, drawn from a heart that knew pain intimately, yet concluded the only answer that made sense... God is sovereign, so I will trust Him. To believe God is good, and that he loves you still, while the world burns down around you, is a victory that is incomprehensible to those who have not walked that road. But it remains a victory nonetheless. It is what defines us as His, the day we meet face to face. In Heaven, we will recognize each other by our scars...
Interessting :) I remember that even as a child, I always thought the "just world" was only a part of stories like the fairy tale cinderella. I got told that they exists a bit to teach humans to do the right thing, but it never actually works this way.
Great video. Explained a lot. For me, this event was my 17 year old rowing championship niece dying suddenly of a heart failure during a workout. It changed my entire life.
This pretty much explains why many elderly people are very wise - they are more likely to have experienced more adversity than a young "whipper snapper". Knowledge can be had at any age, but wisdom generally comes through experience. Yet, young people who've experienced adversity can also be very wise. How a person handles their adversity can affect their life (and those around them) for good or bad. Someone who doesn't handle adversity or trauma very well may think the world is out to get them and may decide to destroy the lives of their perceived enemies. Therapy of some sort is good for everyone and some point in life. Whether through talk, inspirational books, meditation, journaling, art, or whatever helps focus your thoughts and feelings about what truly matters and how to become stronger emotionally and mentally (in a safe and healthy way). I think about this particular subject a lot so I could probably end up writing an essay. I'm a bit philosophical myself and have a casual interest in psychology/mental health. So I really enjoyed listening to your explanation of this particular subject. Thank you.
:/ I hit rock bottom and it broke me. I haven't recovered from it and I'm not sure I ever will. Sometimes the world is just cruel and nothing you do can change that.
@@zeynaviegas Oh, wow, thank you both for your compassion. Not sure how I've been going. I'm still trying to be left alone in a capitalist world that I don't fit into.
I don't know if this is weird, but this video's helped me a lot with getting through hard times. Knowing that I'm shifting and changing when I experience trauma helps me get through rough times. Even when it's not fully "trauma", maybe I'm just expanding the house. Thank you :)
I am apreciative of this because I have always questioned myself in that I had always been taught that your worst experiences are equally as bad as someones elses worst even if their worst isnt that bad for you. And even to this day its kinda been hard to say for certain for me. I was told this when I was 12 when I reached out to a teacher to talk about 1. Alcaholic sisters. 2. Me being trans. 3. Me getting sexually assaulted (not raped just grabbed and while getting away got stabbed). And I was brought to believe that I shoudnt belittle others sufferings.
I'm working my way through your previous videos and just wanted to tell you that you're a great content creator! Your stuff is informative and so interesting; I'm always happy when I see you drop a new video! Thanks for your hard work.
There is so much good stuff in this video. Yes yes yes. Thank you for working so hard on this. This is such an important life lesson. Wow. I'm just babbling now because I'm so overwhelmed with "YES!" Wow. Thank you.
Jesus christ, I've watched this video 3 years ago and even if I could understand the idea, I din not comprehended completely. Now it's a completely different story. The moment I've heard that after a traumatic experience you have only one moment that you define as an actual traumatic experience hit me like a rock. I'm still fairly young and I belive that I don't have enough time and this planet to have actually hit rock bottom,but I've had an experience that made me question absolutely everything about miself, about how I think about my family and friends and about what I believed the world works from my point of view and I can safely say that the changes have been dramatic in a very positive sence. Loved the video
I can't relate to this line of thinking I've always believed in a random arbitrary and unfeeling universe and it makes accepting loss easier. I'm intimately aware that every day I fail to "win" the cancer lottery and it never stops rolling.
