house md funny clinic hours s3.wmv 

The Fool fooled by a man fooler than his foolness O-O

what's even funnier is the patient in that scene plays the doctor in parks and rec

i came here to say this

"No. But you are for going to the hospital because you sleep on top of your arm."

@@SamBrickellyes😂

The times when he does those horribly unethical experiments are usually the most hilarious. Triggering seizures in people is not something you should do. Especially with seizures, every seizure you get is a compounding risk factor.

House pulled a "omae wa mou shindeiru".

@@enlightendbel You can see in this very clip the guy slamming his head on the ground. Meanwhile the doctor doesn't give a shit, he just makes a cheesy joke about how he just caused it. This guy would be slammed with so many malpractice suits he wouldn't be able to get insurance.

@@exiles_dot_tv well it's a TV show. And the only people in the room were House and Wilson other than the kid. And Wilson is a big simp for House so he's not going to say anything.

"No, you're pregnant" House troll face

House is like the medical version of Deadpool

Me too.

"am _I_ okay? is it diabitis?" "no, you are pregnant!"

@@NoNameAtAll2 Some would argue that joke doesn't work in 2023. 🤣

The med with the mouth.

Lisa Snowflake Doan Shadow I’ve thought of him like a cross between Loki and Dr. Strange

Deadpool is like comic hero House.

Marco Bournissen man I gotta see Deadpool

House is the medical version of Sherlock. And Wilson is his Watson.

Or the guy with a broken finger

Search "House, Do I look like an Idiot" The scene you were asking for is uploaded

Or the one where the girl gets the infection from using 'the Jelly'.

Lmfao! "We have a neurological issue" Something's wrong with my brain? "Oh Yeah!"

Asahel OMG yes that was so funny

KDHDKDHSKSBKKKHSJSV

thats straight up my dad lol

I mean it was pretty cool

@@nikaqurdadze3131 lmao

@@hannahbanna_ calm down

His poop should sink due to low fat content(fat floats in water). If the video wasn't cut short, House would have informed her dude was "cheating on her". To which she would reply "well, it makes sense. You're charming and funny and can get whoever you want...". Then House would be " not with another person, with another food group." Honey: "Excuse me?" House: "Your poop floats because it's full of fat. Couldn't stay away from the steaks and burgers for that long, huh(or something like that)". Honey:YOU'VE BEEN EATING FLESH?" Dude: "It was only a burger!" Honey: "We are so done." House: "I'm charming, and funny. Can I get whatever I want?" Honey smiles at him. They meet for drinks later(some place that specializes in tea). She orders some fancy tea or something and I think House orders something pretty plain. She opens up to him a bit when their tea arrives and they start to drink. House: I'm known to be a bit of a womanizer, and I HATE tea." LOL Edit: I think this is more upvotes on a comment than I've ever had. I also found a short video here on youtube that ties together the first part of the doctor visit, the second part, and the final scene where House and Honey meet for drinks. House S03E22 Vegans. Check it out here: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-4jPEGaBs4cw.html

feels to me like House's the Deadpool of doctoriness.

@@jtenorj Thank you so much for this. I really did not think I'd actually find what happened next in the comments LOL

@@Jaepeg Sure thing. Turns out my memory of the dialog isn't the greatest, but it has been years since I saw that episode. I did find a site with a script of the entire episode. I don't know if I can post links here, but here is an attempt on my part to post it so you can look at it if you are interested: clinic-duty.livejournal.com/20065.html

jtenorj you're the real mvp

I still dont get it :

i think if he dont touches them he wins money and if he does he pays money

Cooper the joke is that she’s hot, so he’s gonna touch her lol

What episode

@@jondoe3049 "One Day, One Room" Season 3 episode 12 In it Cuddy offers him $10 for every patient he can diagnose in the clinic without touching them, on the condition he pays $10 for each one he has to touch

I wish I could make you have a seizure by flashing the lights on you🤣

Well there is always surgery...

going 18 years sleeping on your arm, then suddenly not being able to sucks! mine was after a pulled back muscle weakened my arm. the way that guy is holding, look like shoulder knotting on that guy though, they are never fun.

I feel like that's a legit complaint that something that hasn't hurt for two decades is suddenly killing you.

unfortunately the doctor said they cannot do much. so i have to deal with insomnia or arm pain.

Well, he could have suggested some physical therapy or maybe even yoga for example. My physical therapist and I spent an entire session on checking out different sleeping positions and how to improve them by improving general posture or using different pillows and mats. It really helped me change my habits and made me realize that a lot of these issues can be improved with specific muscle training, changing your mattresses and pillows as well as some mental training. A little more confidence in everyday life, training, and a better sleeping environment can do wonders for your posture and your sleeping habits. Also, the guy in the video could have suffered from other illnesses or issues which make it harder to sleep on the back, i.e. respiratory issues, diabetes or muscle weaknesses in the neck. Plus, a big part of a doctors job is to take their patients seriously. It has been proven by now that a lot of times just listening to someone for 5minutes and then asking a serious follow-up question can improve someone's well-being significantly.

Nothing like a stepping stone to something greater!

Can someone tell me? What it suppose to mean?

@@soulheart6408 Instead of his urine, he submitted someone else's to be tested. Apparently, that woman is pregnant, not diabetic

or have prostate cancer

@@Dingusdongus257 At least he has one. You sound like you don't. 😎

@@Dingusdongus257 Hmm, makes sense. I apologize, I didn't mean to sound insensitive or rude. However, I hope you'll find a way satisfying for you - and not a miserable one. Be strong. Have a nice day as well.

House, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Shawn Michaels, Brock Lesnar, and Goldust are animal abusing cunts. Fishing and other hunting is murder. Leave other animals alone. Humans are animals, and no more special than any other creature.

StrawHatLuffy94 Other animals don't belong in the entertainment industry. Not only is it extremely stressful for them, and wild animals are abused until they submit to human will, but how dare you deprive them of their life.

Elephants that give rides aren't happy. They do it out of fear of what happens if they refuse. Swimming with dolphins isn't a good activity. It's extremely stressful for them, and leads to them catching diseases. They're viewed as tools for profit, that's it.

You can't own another living thing. They're not consumer goods to be bought and sold. They're not property. They're above monetary value. They're not toys for your amusement, or tools for you to use as you please. We're not owners, we're their carers.

StrawHatLuffy94 Pet isn't an insult. That's horrible. A pet is an animal of another species, in your family, that you care for. Species is irrelevant to family. Humans are animals, and no more special than any other creature.

I agree wholeheartedly!

I think they should remake House with The Rock as House. It'd be way better.

@@AlastairjCarruthersthis is *literally* the stupidest thing I’ve read today

@@AlastairjCarruthers I think you might be an insane person. Jesse Spencer as his successor is a preferable option.

Hugh was the best. If I absolutely had to pick someone else it would have been Clarke Peters.

Child lies to mum about throat hurting to skip school (taking her for an idiot), him saying "yes" to House's question pretty much means he was lying about his throat.

*nod nod nod nod*

Isn't nutritionist someone who suggests diet plans?

@@hop-skip-ouch8798 "nutritionist" can mean whatever you want. I could legally advertise my dog's services as a nutritionist if I wanted to. Mostly they just go on TV and talk about how this food or that food has suddenly become poisonous despite people eating it for millennia and being more or less fine.

@@doger944 Oh those people. Sort of like the "Nutrition response testing" which has TBH one of the best youtube videos.

@@doger944 Next you're gonna tell me personal trainers are fake too!

@@ProgThoughts hey, man, if you want to pay someone to tell you to eat kale, it's a free country.

Patient: Are you insane?! House: *confused head tilt *

Yes, you're right. That's what was said. Good job.

well yeah I mean seriously you would think more people would have shot him then just the one guy but nope only one shot him so he was very very lucky

I'm in a hurry and I was searching for this comment. Insane moment hahahaha

Lol)))

It gets better because her name is Honey.

Yeah It's so great how you get to name someone when you start going out with them, because they didn't have one before.

lozzybozzy234 have you ever seen the episode? Her actual name is Honey. It’s not her pet name.

@@vonniebeth Yes, I was being very sarcastic

Hah, you are a grey alien, it's funny because you look like the one who abducted me when I was 5

what does "duh" mean? is it like: of course, i did not think otherwise?

Wendy Whoisit you're right. But isn't English your first language?

LePredator1 Thank you. And it is not. Czech language is.

Wendy Whoisit Dude, what are the odds? Já jsem taky z česka XD

Guessing it wasn't a troll, cuz he said it wasn't his, so maybe his girlfriend or wife.

do someone knows that actor?

Paul Martinez Joel David Moore

Nice fenrir

Does anyone know which episode that's from?

+Solus Darkcoat Well someone likes Dara O'Briain :).

+Matthew Brierley Yay! References

Even dietitians aren't taken seriously by real biologists. You want to know how to eat healthy? Talk to a BIOLOGIST, not a nutritionist or dietician.

Madao bullshit. A medical doctor will not refer you to a fucking biologist.

H Y i've tried speaking to a biologist about my diet, and what was wrong with my body. He said talk to a doctor.

Jojos25 veganism makes your poop float. Beans are a magical fruit

@@itgaam No, his poop should sink due to low fat content(fat floats in water). If the video wasn't cut short, House would have informed her dude was "cheating on her". To which she would reply "well, it makes sense. You're charming and funny and can get whoever you want...". Then House would be " not with another person, with another food group." Honey: "Excuse me?" House: "Your poop floats because it's full of fat. Couldn't stay away from the steaks and burgers for that long, huh(or something like that)". Honey:YOU'VE BEEN EATING FLESH?" Dude: "It was only a burger!" Honey: "We are so done." House: "I'm charming, and funny. Can I get whatever I want?" Honey smiles at him. They meet for drinks later(some place that specializes in tea). She orders some fancy tea or something and I think House orders something pretty plain. She opens up to him a bit when their tea arrives and they start to drink. House: I'm known to be a bit of a womanizer, and I HATE tea." LOL Edit: Also, I believe beans are fat free. At least I've had cans of refried beans in the recent past and they had either very little or no fat.

jtenorj thank you I was confused lol you're awesome

😂😂💩

well this actually isn't true. poop can float also due to a large amount of indigestible fiber in foods. and vegans get a lot more fiber than most meat-eaters do sooo their poop tends to float more often

Also, such a bad idea to make you kid think that going to the doctor is awful...

The same thing happened with me at an optometrists. Only I wasn't skipping school and had no reason to lie. The optometrist gave me a cursory glance and told me to fuck off. 10 years later I go in by myself and get those glasses. I have the opposite prescription in each eye, which is why after swapping eyes during the cursory test regular glass appeared better than what the optometrist was trying. TL;DR at lest check the kid properly (preferably start by telling the mum to GTFO).

Jake Surname you probably couldn't sue him today, but you could find out where he lives and wreck his shit, throw toilet paper all over his house, put googly eyes on his windows and doors, shit under his mat, that kind of stuff

Its a free clinic too. Makes it even worse.

Does it matter what she thinks if she cannot diagnose it? It still makes sense to check a kid even if you think he might be faking it if it can be a serious condition. My wife almost died as a kid because her parent's didn't consider a possibility she could be seriously ill. So I'd say better be safe than sorry when it comes to health.

She was making herself vomit to stay thin.

It's called Bulimia

That why the "Ouch" he's like "oooh too bad you have to stop vomiting, you look cute like this..."

Charlieh OR I think the implication was actually that it’s a shame she was going to make herself thinner with the Bulimia

As a former bulimic I found this way too funny

THEdjpluto man if this is not in the comment section i need to die What a line!

That was hilarious😂

*raises middle finger* lol

I laugh so hard 😂😂

Lipids contain fats which are lighter than water

Thank you 🙏

Still probably shouldn't float though. I've eaten red meats my whole life and mine didn't start floating until after I had my gallbladder out.

Thankyou

I wasn't.

it was in two seconds not minutes lol

It was also "suck at math" :P

you know we can cut your arm off so you can sleep better🤣🤣

Hugh Laurie waw in Blackadder? I only remember Rowan Atkinson...

@@justcarineinparis Of course. He was hilarious

Yeah. Just without the knowledge base.

If I was the guy, I would go: "Well that's one option, but I also still need my arm while awake"

You wouldn't believe how simple and how stupid they can be when they come to see me and there's me grinning and bearing it, fantasising how easy house had it.

simplythebest286 actually new onset anal pruritus is something you should see the doctor for: differentials can vary from hemorrhoids, worms to rectal cancer :)

Sivabalan Retnasamy lol... this is what I hate about medicine. A wart means cancer. A headache means subdural hematoma, altered (or altering) mental status, dementia, death. A cough means TB, HIV/AIDS, Pneumocystis pneumonia, lung collapse, death. Fever means sepsis, shock, multiple organ dysfunction, delirium, death.

And a beautiful smile might mean tics, risus sardonicus, tetanus, Angelman syndrome, Huntington's, extrapyramidal side effects, facial nerve palsy, brain damage, and of course, death.

+ Eammon Wright I worked in customer support of a multimedia outlet store for about a year and a half. I have a few of those stories that make you facepalm. Mostly just people being ignorant or downright stupid. A few examples: 'My camera doesn't work.' No, they tend to not work unless you put the batteries in. 'My phone just died on me.' Turns out, it just needed to be recharged. 'My phone doesn't work.' You see this button up here? This is what you'll want to press to fix that. We call that 'turning it on.' Or an actual story. A mother comes in and, without saying hi or greeting me or anything of the sort, she blurts out: 'My son is watching porn online.' So I say: 'Bring in his system and I'll reconfigure his router with a parental block so he can't access those sites anymore.' To which she said: 'But then how am I supposed to watch mine?' I wish I could say I had a witty retort to that, but I didn't. I tried to explain to her how to do it herself, but I could tell that was a lost cause. She didn't understand a word I said.

You have to hire a dermatologist for Hugh Laurie. Unless you're okay with an early 20s House looking like 60

Probably because he was almost ten years younger back then :D

maciejl20 Actually, I don't know. I saw him in many roles before House and he always looked young, with or without beard. There was an episode in House MD when Greg shaved and yet he was looking awesome. It was years later, after his role as House, that Hugh started to age and actually look much older. But idk man, maybe that's just my opinion.

Also a thing to do.

Sandouras this episode took me completely by surprise. In the sense that i thought it would turn house more softer side he would show his McDreamy side but no, he didn't know his way to help her. Sure he did show his human side but in a different way than I thought. Like he would be totally caring and sweet but no. He sure challenged her and asked her why did he chose her but its just i expected a different turn. That's the great thing about House, it always surprises you, you don't really never know he is gonna react. Anyway to happire stuff i love the clinic moments they are mostly the funniest parts

I remember that episode it was very deep and thought provoking ... do you remember which one it was Sara :/

rasper dan it was :One Day One Room, if im not mistaken it was right after the end of the Tritter Arc. It was the episode he came back to work after he spent one night in Jail or maybe one episode later.

Thanks for the reply Sara ... I am going to log off RU-vid and watch that straight away :)

rasper dan you welcome and im so glad i was able to help

So their most likely non-US people or US below the age of 25.

Umm yeah... that or maybe not cause a seizure in the first place. You seem to be under the misconception that the show is presenting House's behaviour as good.

Umm yeah... that or maybe not cause a seizure in the first place. You seem to be under the misconception that the show is presenting House's behaviour as good.

Also u aren't supposed to hold someone who's having seizure like that.

Yeah, isnt it just support the head, but dont restrain them?

At Akinotopsia Wilson should have understood that he'll have a seizure and hold him. But I don't think got it.