How Absence Plays With a Man's Emotions 

A secure relationship helps heal insecure/anxious attachment. We learn to fear being abandoned from people who actually abandon us. We learn to be secure from people who give us security. Some relationships are damaging while others are healing. Part of healing ourselves involves weeding out people who are damaging as quickly as we can instead of entertaining them for too long.

All the love I once poured into him, I am now putting into me! I am letting go of past failures, and going forward to know I am worthy, I deserve so much more. And I don't want a facsimile of what a loving relationship is, I want the real thing. I am loving ME first.

Absence also plays on a woman’s emotions making her feel insecure. That being said it’s time to MoveOn

stone-walling/ghosting/bad communication/ignoring was sufficient for me to leave. Anxiety was all time highs at that time. Made me go from secure to anxious.

ding ding ding!! Again ladies, he's reminding us that being hyper focused on a man is very very unhealthy 💯👍

focus on your creator. so much attachment is placed on men and dating game. Let go and find your own happiness. What is meant to be will be what is meant to stay will stay.

Great advice. I met a guy I liked and admit I was acting Anxious - he was a totally Avoidant. He told me is only seeking casual low key relationship. I told him my STANDARDS and said we aren't a match. He tried to reach out again and ignored his message.

It’s soooooo important to take the steps necessary ( therapy) to reconcile your childhood wounds before you enter into relationships. If you don’t and you find a partner who hasn’t either your foundation will be shaky. The best thing you can bring to a relationship is an emotionally healed self . ❤️

Being married to my husband taught me everything I need to know about what I want and need in a man. I'm glad he doesn't have emotional baggage and is emotionally secure. That is the only type to be with. Anything outside of that will make you become anxious.

Nothing better than being alone, than having my me moments. Going alone to a restaurant, theater etc etc. I’m getting so use to be by myself that I don’t picture myself living with someone again.

I was in my first relationship in over 5 years. It seemed like we had so much in common, but we only spent one day a week together and there was very little communication during the week. I would answer a text message from him that would go unanswered. He would call once a week to make plans for our weekend time together. After awhile I just got tired of the lack of real connection and not really talking about anything deep. I broke it off finally because he didn’t even communicate that he was going away on vacation. It was over a month ago that I broke it off. Then I randomly received a phone call from him. I didn’t take the call because I just don’t e know the point or continuing on in a superficial relationship. We did have fun outings together, but it wasn’t a deep connection. To be honest I don’t even think we were exclusive. My gut told me there were other women in the picture.

A man with a strong self esteem and boundaries will not tolerate disrespect and abuse. He doesn't need validation. Thats for women. Men work on yourselves. Be the best version of you that you can be. Be so confident that people will need to prove themselves to you, not in an arrogant way. But because your values are so high. And always remember that the ability to walk away is the strongest position you can have. Use it!

I’ve never understood why people think they have to talk on the phone every day. My man and I called each other when we had something to say. We’ve been together 8 years now, no anxious feelings, no excessive emotions. I think we’re both secure attachment styles.

Sadly, so far I've had mostly boyfriends who were "non-commital". But, I did have a husband who wanted committment. Yet, he was a drunk who couldn't take care of his family(me/his wife and his two small sons), so I wound up getting divorced with two small sons and no support. My impressions of men were either the ones with money had huge egos and treated their women like nothing, or they were not reliable(either emotionally/spiritually or any other way). It seems also that women who are empathic, very giving/loving, etc. attract narcissists.

I think it depends on "trust". When two partners spend time apart. Of course, it is a healthy thing to do. Some people(I have found mostly men) have a big problem being alone.

I agree that it’s not okay to ignore the person you’re with. But sometimes you need to detach from them if you’re not okay with the way they’re treating or stop making you feel secure in the relationship. I used to hold on so tightly to my boyfriends in the past even though they weren’t giving me what I needed. I was so afraid to lose them that I never took a step back and said I needed space. Now I’ve learned to communicate my needs and when he makes promises he doesn’t stick to, I need to step back and reevaluate. Doesn’t mean a breakup but it’s not a punishment either.

The fact that you are so open and honest about this stuff is refreshing. I didn't realize guys went through this, too. Thanks for sharing your story and I am sorry your mom behaved that way. My mom has some similar traits, God bless her. I'm healing and trying to learn that it isn't personal and she was parenting the best she could with the imperfect foundation she had to work from.

Everything you say resonates with me. I’m in midlife and perfectly content living my best life, solo. I won’t rule out connecting in a meaningful way with a man, and have met a couple of practice guys…thanks to you I was able to “next” them pretty darn quickly. I’m still working on the part of me that wants to hear from them, and realize if they didn’t put the effort in from the get go, he gone, I’m good!!! Thank you Jonathan!!

I haven’t been in a real relationship for about ten years. I have dated but not found anyone I wanted to be with. I’ve been doing work on myself. I am currently still reading the Hoffman process. The book is tedious to me but I think it’s going to help even more. I am finding that more and more I am loving being by myself and hanging out with friends. I have a little ways to go before I am ready for a relationship. I appreciate all of your advice and your book recommendations!

“Laying the cards on the table” with a new person is great IF you are positive you’re dealing with a normal person. However, being so forthright from the beginning could spell disaster if you are dealing with a toxic individual-a narcissist for example. I told too much, too soon and the “hidden” narc in the charming person I saw in front of me suddenly became my dream guy…liking the same things as me, having the same goals in life, wanting the same things from a relationship-on and on it went. None of what he said about himself was true I later learned. Be careful of divulging too much too soon to the wrong person who could pretend you both are on the same path when they really have another agenda.

Heart felt gratitude, Jonathon, for being so generous emotionally. It takes a real man to understand and express his true current feelings especially publicly. No one can get inside of another’s head and know their heart felt feelings unless a person is willing to communicate it verbally. And it can be emotionally exhausting. That is why most of us get our signals crossed and feel insecure. You help me understand me better. And you help me enjoy who I am and where I am in my life without the need of a man to confirm it. Everyone wants that special person to share their time and life with. But at this age - we need to understand ourselves- good and bad- in order to invite someone else in emotionally. Than you for being your true self in front of a camera for anyone to see and hear. You are so keen and likeable. I hope you have found your one and only- and she to you. Bc you definitely have found your calling career wise. Top knotch.. God bless

I was dating a dismissive avoidant person for almost a year (My therapist at the time was encouraging of this 🥴)... I am more secure attachment while, although prior to a lot of healling I was more anxious. My anxiety was THROUGH THE ROOF.

....watching from Nairobi, Kenya. Been watching actually for a while and it's true, managing own emotions is key. Am the kind that feels intensely where good or bad and can like blow up in need to express myself. But I realised in that state, I was in no position to articulate anything. Nowadays, when I feel very intense, I pull back until am emotionally sober. I keep things basic until I am standing 'on solid ground'. 🙂

Guy I’m dating told me he doesn’t want kids so I was fine since we are both over 40. But then he said he doesn’t want to ever be married bc he has too much to lose financially. I’ve been with serious millionaires. This raises a red flag 🚩 for me! I love ❤️ the guy we already been intimate, now just 😢😢😢💔💔💔💔😅 he says he is committed but idk 🤷‍♀️ I feel embarrassed 😳 and sad 😞 for myself being a go getter. I’ve just been focusing on financial stuff myself and learning to be non attached and it doesn’t make me happy.

I never got hurt that my ex left because of the realities of life. I got hurt that after all the good things, the sincerity, I never felt appreciated. He was never grateful. And how happy he was without me.

Jonathon, I'm so sorry your mother's love was conditional. My mom didn't like herself so it was hard for her to connect at a deeper level with us, especially as we became teens and rebelled. I got along much better with my dad. I was lucky enough to get counseling in the '90s and early 2000s. Now, though, I'm dealing with abandonment by my three siblings since my parents have both died. You cannot change anyone else, you can only manage your own emotions and cope! Thank you for being radically honest with us. You rock!

Thank you for giving me back myself. You made me stop and truly take back my strength. Awesome!! Thank you for this video.

Excellent video. I’ve been in an LDR relationship for over a year. We started as friends our relationship quickly developed into a loving romantic partnership. We are working on emotional intimacy. He visited me and now it’s my turn. We’ve had conversations on me relocating and closing the gap. I agree it’s a work in progress. And I’m here for it. Thanks for sharing.

It takes a lot of truth digging to teach the core of what’s positive or negatively programmed in us. I had a horrific childhood; for ME. It may not have been as bad as other childhoods but it was a tremendous affect on my life and relationships, self treatment, self esteem, career choices, and so much more.

It doesn’t feel very good going through absence (going without) for 8 years for this woman either 💔

Your openness about your thoughts and feelings in a current relationship help SO much, thank you!

Okay, I’m coming into this video having never watched one of your videos. And this felt like such a refreshing perspective. No browbeating or condescending women. No groveling or pandering to us, either. Just delving into human nature and reminding everyone that our trauma shapes our responses in relationships. I truly hate game-playing and power play. It’s all so confusing and draining. And I just prefer to have someone let me know if they have the emotional energy to show up for the day or if they need down time.

This made a huge difference!!! I have really been working on myself since a divorce 3 years ago. I know my value and what I value in a relationship and I won’t settle. This relationship is one where I feel unconditional love. We discuss our triggers…you can tell we’ve been in therapy in our past. I am in a relationship with a high valued man and because of life, we’ve been going through a difficult time. He has a lot going on. My anxious attachment showed itself recently not in a way I’m proud of. I also understand through your personal examples our long distance relationship more. I feel secure in our relationship and I know he does. But I’ve wanted to talk more where he doesn’t feel like he needs to. Yet I don’t want it to feel forced. We both need to compromise on this and we will. But I now understand why there is such a difference when we are together and I feel a detach when we are apart. A lot more makes sense and I think I’ll share this with him. Thank you for your personal examples!!!

The man was preaching honesty at me until I pointed out that he is honest only while it is convenient and does not cost him anything emotionally. He expected to leave it for me to take all of the risk. He wanted my cards face up on the table while he kept his close to his chest.

You being vulnerable is your biggest strength 😃

My attachment style at this stage of life (I'm 58) is Secure. I've gotten better at discerning more quickly and let the latest one know we weren't a match 3 days after our first meeting (we met up for church.) I do hope for a rest-of-life relationship someday, but am also very happy on my own. I've come to understand and appreciate why men have shyed away from very needy women. It is beyond draining when a man looks to you to provide everything he's neglected to build for himself. Crap happens to us all... gotta 'pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again!' You'll find it gets easier every single time. 😁

Absence . they are operating from a place of Gratitude that someone is back in their life.

I’m glad I found you because of the age group you are able to intelligently speak to. There are so many guys and women with channels giving relationship advice between the ages of 20-30. These people are hilarious to me. The advice & general assertions are sophomoric & naive at BEST. Good luck to them but better luck to those who are listening. We all thought we knew everything even at age 40 but I’m getting nothing but vapid yapping, word salads, et al. Subscribed so long as if you should, for some crazy reason, break-up, you’ll take your channel through that with so much as possible. It sounds like a strong situation & I’m very happy for you.

Your points are 100% spot-on. I hope the ladies watching will heed these wise words and stay strong & firm. I am finally in a place where I get it. And I haven’t yet met the man who’s ready to combine his words and his actions…but I have faith that it will happen someday. Until then… I am living life to the fullest, and am so very grateful! 🙏❤️

Putting things on the table is my default, too. I don’t like to dole out one condition at a time, better to let him know what’s like to be involved with me right from the get go. Sure the mystery is gone but mystery is overrated. And I expect the same from the guy, too. If he said one thing but wanted some else later, I would discount his trustworthiness and truthfulness. For me this never happened. The guys I dated didn’t think I was serious when I bared my mind in the beginning. They all told me later that they were shocked how truthful I was with them. When I say something, you’d better take it seriously because I don’t nag, I just break it off.

It's all about maturity and wisdom people should know what they want I don't have time for foolishness when you have the right person you don't have to go through this you are an awesome guy nobody want to be hurt and in pain.

Hi Jonathon! I stumbled across your channel while looking for something else. So glad I did because I've been saying so many of the same things for years that you've said! Women need to put on the brakes!! I'm 67 years old and I know what I'm talking about. Fortunately, I come from a family where "Good men" prevail, as does my husband, so I had good examples when growing up. As far as meeting a potential mate, women need to stop looking in bars. All one can tell about a guy in a bar is that he likes to drink. That's it. Try hanging out in a LIBRARY. That way, when you meet a guy, at least you know he knows how to read, and what his interests are. Let him approach YOU! If after giving him a quick smile, he does not approach you, he's either married or not interested. You've dodged a bullet. Move on. After he introduces himself to you in the library, you can always meet him later at the local coffee shop. After that, (on a separate date) dinner with your choice of alcoholic bevs. Too much? Look at it this way: Only YOU can determine your value. Position yourself as someone worthy of investment - not as an easy lay. And yes, the gentleman always pays for dinner. I don't care how much money the woman makes. If HE asked YOU to dinner / coffee / lunch / ... HE pays. One last thing: Make sure you both understand what the term "separated" means in the dating world. Too many people confuse the various marital statuses. One might proclaim himself as being "separated" when he's actually only estranged (no longer living in the same household as spouse, but without legal declaration). The terminology goes like this: (1) Single: Never been married. (2) Estranged: No longer living in the same household as spouse but without legal declaration. ...He is still legally married. (3) Separated: He has a document prepared by an attorney and filed in the state in which he resided with his spouse which attests to the fact that he is legally separated and is free to date whomever he likes. This usually precludes divorce proceedings depending on the state. (4) Divorced: Formerly married, but is now legally free to marry another. Everyone who has a Legal Separation has a COPY of that document. It's also public knowledge and can be found in the clerk of court's office or Register of Deeds depending on the state. Just sayin'. Jonathon: Keep up the good work!! 😃

Thanks Jonathan for your insight on relationships, especially long distance and dealing with being apart. I'm in the same place and it helps to hear the male perspective. I often hear you reference the" sitting in your feminine power", from "the rules", and while I agree that this comes off as entitled, and that book is all about head games, I think perhaps the idea behind that is to get women to focus on their self care and pull back from obsessing on the man. I'm a strong woman with boundaries ,independent, and fairly emotionally stable, yet I have to force myself to focus on me when I'm in love because something compels me to think of him constantly. Then, when I talk to other women I realize how much they also seem to " give their power" to the object of their desire,whether he is aware or even wants them to. I think the motivation is to keep us from placing our well-being in the hands of another and take personal responsibility for our hearts. Even as an empowered, intelligent person I have to hold back on my feelings for my man and put my needs and emotional health first. I've seen so many female friends create unnecessary problems and drama because they can't find the healthy ratio of mental energy and time spent between living their own lives and stressing over," what is he thinking, does he like me, etc.?". I feel your anxiety, and you are right that some women act entitled, but so many more are low self esteem based, and perhaps they need a way to keep from sending twenty texts an hour, or permission to treat themselves better.

This must be the best advice ever given. Radical honesty. I read the book attached many times just to get in my head that I am only as needy as my unmet needs. I need a man that is comfortable with intimacy and would like to invite to using effective communication from the get go by being radically honest.

I was alone from 19-28 then got married. I talk myself through bad feelings and thoughts bc nobody is worthy of your mental anguish. That is saved for grieving. Relationships should be give and take. Freedom in relationships puts individual importance for securing confidence in a person aside from the joining partnership. It’s not healthy to stay stuck with your partner everyday. We all need to be ourselves regardless of who we love and share our lives. Children, spouses, parents, friends, etc. we have to be our own person before learning healthy living patterns

I don't need to regulate my emotions. Can't be bothered with games. If his mother hurt him, that's not his partners fault. He needs leave childhood behind. It was a so called man who played games in my experience. When you are a grown up you live life and you make your decision as whether it's just sex or if you looking for something more serious.

I just love your channel. I really needed to hear that most men don't bond on the phone.

Yeah, its sad that childhood trauma, I think we all have experienced more or less, should have so much to say for how we cope further in life. Thanks for being so honest to us😊

I see the change in you Jonathan. You’re much less anxious. Hope your relationship works out Keep following your own advice

Thank you, makes a lot of sense. I was in a long distance and it ended. It seemed to be very consistent but the disconnect was uncomfortable for both… we would speak every evening and again it felt like a chore at times… I am sad it ended, but neither of us were in a position to move closer either. I did however learn to sit back. Although o was exceptionally disregulated throughout and I was having therapy throughout the relationship. … I am now healing my heart ❤️

Take it slow Jonathan, within your relationship. Just because you’re a relationship coach doesn’t mean yours will be perfect. This long distance right now will determine if you can both be together for the long haul. Friendship is the foundation of lasting relationships. Which I believe you shared with us that you had with her initially. All the best. 🙏🏼❤️⭐️🥰

Emotional Intimacy… fabulous read📚

I respect all this vulnerability talking about your experience It really makes you more trusted as a coach definitely

Jonathan, When you said it feels like a chore I can really relate to you. I really appreciate you words of wisdom. Thank you so much.

How did we ever date in this time without your sage advice. It has truly made the mystery of relationships clear! You are amazing!

If those attachment issues are still arising and especially triggered in a relationship may I suggest that the wounds are still somewhat buried, not healed or fully realised. A theoretical understanding of "attachment styles" can be gleaned from a book, but the actual work of healing "attachment wounds" takes intensive therapy, and "talk therapy" really doesn't touch it. That trauma is buried deep in the emotional mind, the psyche and the body and an EXCELLENT therapy to get that stuff up and out and over is EMDR therapy. Too much time reading books & being stuck in the mind isn't very helpful, in fact it slows us down & can make us ill. Putting this here with the intent of being helpful, your videos are truly appreciated and helpful as well ~ when the Pandora's box of attachment trauma is opened it can be very difficult for people to navigate and many do require the intervention of a skilled, highly trained professional trauma informed therapist.

Where was the concept of attachment style when I was in my 20's ,,,, so needed today

Speaking from the mothers point of view ....it was very hard to hold down a full time job ,take care of the house, kids and a husband...oh yeah u gotta shop and cook too. All while my "husband" entertained other women...so my 2 beautiful children Im so sorry I would go into silence ..my armor of protection in a time I could not fully understand....but I loved you and never ever abandoned you❤

Totally triggers when they are busy. But then being so busy freaks me out also when I am not somewhere around part of the reason for the busyness.

It’s nice to hear from a man. Thank you for sharing! This is my first video of yours!

FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching

Great Content~💖 I really needed to hear all of this! Thank You Jonathon~🙏 Happy to Hear your Relationship is Thriving... ✨💞✨

Thank you. That was valuable information from a male perspective with your background and expertise. Yes choosing a good person from the get go is key. It's hard when you come across someone with crazy chemistry, but may not be best for you. I love the book " Why Men Love Bitches" by Sherry Argov! Its my bible😅 her best advise is to have presence of mind, because without that, you'll make bad decisions and people will take advantage of you. Don't get tipsy on a first date. And make the man do all the work and chase you in the beginning. Need to read it again!

This was great information and I appreciate learning about what kind of attachment I am currently in. This was an eye opener..thanks Jonathan!

Wow . This is my second video I am seeing that you have made. You are amazing at what you have to say! I so related to the feelings and emotions you mentioned going through as a child and so much said here! Thank you for all you are sharing!! At 51 and back in the dating world for 7 years now, I’ve had a lot of new relationship learning to do and self awareness! ❤

Hello. I don't usually comment - although I've seen several of your videos. I applaud your candidness and want to thank you for being open and honest about your personal emotions and childhood experience. This is good information for both women and men. God bless!

I love the word emotionally constipated. Perfect description for the English man - don't go near him unless you're a cold fish yourself

Perfect timing for this one! Thank you for your transparency. Couldn’t agree more.

I’m so grateful and so glad I found you ❤️🙏I’ve only watched two of your videos and it’s helped me tremendously 😮trying to get over a nine year relationship and learning to love myself more ❤️

loved your take :)

At this point I have learned it’s best for me to not care. The more I care the more hurt I will get so. I just learned to not care

Thank you for being so vulnerable 🙏 everything ypu said here makes so much sense.

I'm tired of the immaturity of my special person. I can't work with an avoidant.

I have been feeling so angry because I was intimate with a person who I thought wanted a relationship as well. He seemed genuine and kind and spent some money on me. Now he has completely ghosted. And I told him I usually wait until commitment to have sex because men take off before. And he knew he was going to do the same thing all along. I should have not given him sex so soon and feel like an idiot. Now I'm just trying to focus on myself and heal. And yes I am anxiously attached 🙄

Well, we are going to see IF he actually ever cared. I'm in Michigan right now with Josh. I've been up here since August 26th/27th & I'm heading back to Pennsylvania tomorrow. I outright told him that this is or was my last time up here. & that he clearly doesn't care. And until he can prove to me that I'm a priority instead of an option, I won't be back & he'll have to live with it. He thinks I was joking when I said it & he said "no you'll be back up". You're amazing & my best friend. I'm gathering up all of my belongings & heading out to save my own sanity. We went fishing on the boat day before yesterday & had a blast. We laughed & got along wonderfully like we always do. I feel so hollow. And this is all I can think to do.

💜💜💜thank you for your radical honesty today. It was straight from the heart and resonated💜💜💜

If someone acts distant I don’t get anxious and move forward . I get anxious, distance myself as well, feel and disappointed if I liked them, and start swiping on the stupid apps again.

I feel that anxiety every time when dating but not acting on it anymore contrary to years ago when I was chasing them to death. Sadly, they’re the ones who ghost me eventually. As if my instincts were right that there’s a disconnect. Nothing you can do about it anyway.

I see me in this video Really opened my eyes . I’m like you. I need to work on this issue. Thank you so very much for sharing this!! I’m struggling with a long distance relationship .

Ive done a lot of work on my anxious attachment. So much that any level of game from a man, i lose interest.

Took me years to love myself but now that I do I have set boundries and no matter if I Love him dearly I leave if he crosses them and isn't willing to change

Love your openness and honesty. Thanks for being vulnerable in this public space. That’s very brave 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Thank you for your candor and honesty. It really helps to know how a man experiences his attachment style. I would say I too was anxious attachment but as I’ve gotten older and more secure in myself I feel that has lessened in me.

yes I can relate to having a mother that does not speak to you for 3 weeks at a time while I was at high school happened regularly as well as having a disinterested father its a wonder i am not a raging alcoholic i certainly know how it feels to be treated abominately by lousy parents who should never had children...... I feel ya

Hey Jonathan, thank you for the insight. What helped me with my anxious attachment style was hypnosis therapy. It has gotten so much better after only 3 sessions.( Usually it takes five (up to eight) sessions. I broke off because I didn't get along with the therapist very well.Wonder how much better it could get.) Anyway, I highly recommend it to you. In those sessions you create a safe space within you where you are loved unconditionally. Whenever you feel in need of love, comfort and security you can visit this place via meditation. It's so cool how you suddenly feel a peace of heart and mind. All the best for your healing journey. May you be blessed.

Yeah. I can see what you're saying about it being a chore. This is a good example If a man doesn't ask you out and wants to text, he ain't that into you.

If you are seeing a man, don’t show attention or send him a text for a few days. Let him miss you, let him initiate contact with you. The point? Leave a man to his own devices & you will see where his priorities lie. For instance, did he finally reach out on his terms, did he think of you first, or did he just disappear into the ether because he legitimately forgot about you or never even cared in the first place. They seek out time for what they want. This test has never failed me. When they forget me, it’s soooooo much easier walking away from that toxicity that much earlier on. They forget about me, well then forget about you too chump. Done

You are glowing. Wishing you all the best with your new relationship 💕

One of my favorite videos you’ve done! Also love your shirt!❤

You got that right! Your contemporary is wrong! Needy men will get anxious. Secure men find someone else. If you own something, it is your responsibility to maintain it… if you want to keep it.

OMG my ex ex(2 boyfriends back) in the beginning used to call me his "fuck buddy". Like WTF?!?! And over the next 20 some years he was on/off. He broke up with me 3 times and each time I came back when he asked. Yes, because I am mainly submissive, I used to let men have power over me. Finally at age 63, I am learning to assert my own power. It didn't help with my childhood trauma(stated below). Plus, being a triple Pisces which Pisces is already the most submissive sign in the zodiac. We are basically martyrs. So easy going, we don't stand up for ourselves.

Yay she is moving!!!!! That is so exciting I am so happy for you

i like how you still said bless your soul regarding your mother. some people are so quick to hate on their mothers who have their own wounds just like we do.

I'm the same, I feel talking more then seeing someone is just cold and uncomfortable if its more then seeing them.

I so agree with you. A relationship based on emotional manipulation is doomed to fail

You’re so in love!!! OMG, it’s amazing! Congratulations! I wish you both the best! ♥️🥰

I have an Attachment Style My Ex is Beyond Avoidant Style into Narcacism, his Mother issues are just like Yours though. But he Totally lacks the Ability to Self Reflect. He Thinks There is Absolutely Nothing Wrong with Him and his horrible Behavior of Using People Ect, Ect,Ect

I'm in my new carpet apt I'm thankful,greatful,I have graditude.

My attachment style is anxious, too, J!

I vacillate between anxious-avoidant. My mother is someone who would revoke her love and its aweful. And I notice that its easier to do this to someone I love when they disappoint my expectations. But I will admit I was secure, and my anxious-avoidant tendencies came up the more I found evidence to trust this person.