How BAD is BATTLEFIELD EARTH??? 

The pizza sketch was better than the actual movie

I'm sorry. The gods took your bacon in the night.

Thousand year old Harriers operating on thousand year old jet fuel... Okay.

"DO YOU WANT LUNCH?" says Travolta as he feeds a guy a rat *I burst out laughing*

This movie makes about as much sense as scientology.

This guy's emotionless delivery makes every criticism that comes out of his mouth hilarious.

Dutch Angle: The Movie

Sometimes when I see movies like this, I go up to a mirror and call myself an idiot for ever doubting my ideas

"Making Battlefield Earth was a religious experience." ---John Travolta

....me and my brother were bored one day....we ordered a few pizzas....and forced ourselves to watch it. it was about 2 months before i invited him back to my place since it was his idea.

3:48 That was him throwing the script to the wind.

When I was stationed at Fort Hood in the early 90s. We had no harrier jump-jet considering that is a Marine thing. And considering that Fort Hood is a US Army base.

Mark's versions of the throw scene are fucking pricless! 😂

"Do you *_WANT_* lunch??!" Is still one of the funniest lines in any movie ever.

No one: No one ever: John Travolta: dO yOu WaNt LuNcH!?!?!?

The book was pretty bad too. My English teacher in HS was a scientologist. She tried to have us read Dianetics, but some parents complained, and she got into trouble. After that she assigned us Battlefield Earth. It was the worst, and I was an avid SciFi reader when I was a kid. Ironically, the only good parts of that book were left out of the movie entirely. EDIT: Regarding gold, it's one of the best conductors known to man, but it's so expensive and rare that we use copper instead. It's actually an extremely rare element in the universe that is only produced in a supernova, or neutron star collision. There is a theory that a nearby star went supernova when the primordial cloud was just forming. That's why we have so much gold on the Earth. It's also a heavy element, so you will mostly find it in rocky bodies. Rocky bodies are actually pretty rare. Most orbiting objects are either ice planets or gas planets like Neptune and Jupiter. On the Earth we would not have had any gold if it weren't for the heavy bombardment period. During that period much of the gold was stirred up from the inner core by asteroid strikes, and put into the mantle to be later mined. Otherwise all the gold would have just sunk to the core during the formation of the Earth, and it would have been melted and been mixed with the nickel/iron core. Honestly of all the elements on the Earth, gold is probably going to be the one most likely sought out from extraterrestrial beings (if they exist). That or probably uranium, since it shares similar origins as gold, as well having been placed in the mantle by the same processes that placed gold in the mantle. Our gold and uranium probably came from the same supernova estimated to have occurred 6 billion years ago.

The only dislikes are from Scientologists.

-The pizza doesn't have bacon - :o NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That was so funny, I had to watch that part several times XD

Realize one thing: This was made after Predator, a great SciFi film, thus the dreadlocks on John Travolta and his aliens!

It makes sense now that you've told us about the "Producers"-style budget inflation scam behind this movie, because like "Springtime for Hitler," "Battlefield Earth" feels like it was deliberately made to be an instant flop.

The people who defended this trash were the scientologist. I saw this movie and it was a nightmare, worst movie ever made.

The mindfuck of the decade is how this guy doesn't have over a million subs by now? Entertaining as hell! Keep it up! I really wish you made a career out of youtube so we could enjoy your reviews more frequently.

Battlefield: Earth is not a bad movie. It's the most epically hilarious comedy ever made.

5:13 The accent when she says "Mark" is so incredibly thick.

6:46 Well according to Terl in the movie he claims that when they invaded Earth the humans could only put up a 9 minute fight against them. Something I find incredibly hard to believe given the fact of how ungodly stupid these freaking aliens are.

your reaction to the no bacon was totally on point.

I loved this movie i remember watching it for the first time. I traveled with my family to the usa i was at a cmon inn and this was on mtv then right after that beavis and butthead was on. God bless America

😂 the part where you go, “hey guess what, your dads dead,” had me rolling lol.

Just so you all know, the founder of Scientology wrote the book....

3:43 Notice that he's not screaming "Nooooo!" I like to think that whatever he threw was screaming. hahahaha.

I remember seeing the box for this movie at blockbuster way back when I was a kid and as a huge science fiction fan I remember never asking my mom to rent it for me because quite frankly even the cover looked bad. Glad to know I never missed out on anything

What many people have a hard time understanding is; what we consider to be "rare Earth elements" are elements that are only really rare here on EARTH. Gold may not be in huge abundance here, on Earth, making them "rare Earth elements," to us. But, there are three distinct types of asteroids, (some near Earth) that have high levels of elements we would consider valuable enough to expend the necessary time and energy to mine someday. (Clearly making them a FAR better alternative to any other species of aliens that may have some use for them, than invading Earth.) There's; ▫️C-type asteroids , which have a high abundance of water which is not currently of use for mining but could be used in an exploration effort beyond the asteroid. (Mission costs could be reduced by using the available water from the asteroid. ) C-type asteroids also have a lot of organic carbon, phosphorus, and other key ingredients for fertilizer which could be used to grow food. ▫️S-type asteroids, which carry little water but would appear more attractive because they contain numerous metals including: nickel, cobalt and more valuable metals such as gold, platinum and rhodium. A small 10-meter S-type asteroid contains about 650,000 kg (1,433,000 lb) of metal with 50 kg (110 lb) in the form of "rare" metals like platinum and gold. And then there's; ▫️M-type asteroids are rare but contain up to 10 times more metal than S-types.. A class of easily recoverable objects (EROs) was identified by a group of researchers in 2013. Twelve asteroids made up the initially identified group, all of which could be potentially mined with present-day rocket technology. Of 9,000 asteroids searched in the NEO database, these twelve could all be brought into an Earth-accessible orbit by changing their velocity by less than 500 meters per second (1,800 km/h; 1,100 mph). The dozen asteroids range in size from 2 to 20 meters (10 to 70 ft). Obviously, if some more advanced Alien species encountered our solar system searching for these elements, it would be FAR more cost-effective to do something WE should have been doing since the 70's lol than invade and oppress the human population, as shown in Battlefield Earth. But, what's sci-fi got to do with science, right?! 👍😊

as a kid i loved this movie over everything it had scifi, john travolta and cool special effects in it me and my dad couldnt understand why such a gem was aired 2 am on tv

What I love about your reviews is that you mention even the smaller details, and I'm a serious nitpicker. I'm glad Stuckmann suggested your channel, because I feel many critics in general skip the trivial stuff. And as I always do with every great channel I discover on RU-vid, I did a marathon of your videos. Awesome stuff, dude!

After a thousand years all that military equipment would have been one big rust bucket that's even if the base was still there and hadn't withered away from no up keep.

The guacamole statement made me laugh so hard....oh my that was a lmao with a weese at the end. I dont know why im here ...oh god i laughed a weeze e.

"Why did I start this fucking show?" Best quote of the episode.

Poor Barry Pepper. He's actually a decent actor who's been in decent things, such as The Green Mile, Enemy of the State, and The Kennedys.

Literally used to watch this on VHS all the time at my grandmas when I was 10. In retrospect that is the appropriate age to enjoy the movie

I like how the humans are so feral that they all have long, messy hair but can still shave like every two days. You never see any stubble in post apocalyptic Earth.

Do you want lunch!?

Highlights. That girl is a better actor than the one from the movie. Her oh-so-canadian sorry. And that whole skit. Also congratulations of gaining like 4k subs.

That “Nooooooooo” re-enactment was perfect :)

This movie is a sincere interpretation on "Mom and dad save the world."

I've read that book, trust me you aren't missing a single thing. The last half of the book that wasn't adapted for the screen involves another alien species contacting Jonny and talking about intergalactic banks... This book is seriously 1000+ pages long

This put a smile on my face.

Fun fact: "Aliens mining gold" is a major plotpoint in the movie "Cowboys & Aliens"...

Video guy here. "Dutching" the shoot not dutchy on the set. But that sounds sick af and ima start using it

Never in my life have I seen a tracking shot that is dutch angeled.. What the fuck were they thinking?

two things: first, well done sir on the girl... well done indeed. second, when Canadians order "bacon" on a pizza, is it bacon, or is it ham?

10:00 _"Do you want lunch?"_ I laughed entirely too long at that.

Totally just subscribed for the badass cut scene. Lmao! Well done. Both of you.

You know, you can toss in a movie you like once every while :) Btw congrats on the 5k gain of subscribers over night.

How BAD is MOVIE 43??? Do it. Please.

I come back periodically to watch this review. That "Because, Why the fuck would I?" Always gets me to blast out a laugh!😄

I enjoyed the movie as a comedy. It was pretty good. Savages learning to fly perfectly preserved fighters in a simulator was a kicker.

DUDE, we missed you!

This is brilliant, I'm only halfway through but this is already the best thing I've watched all week. I've been subbed to this channel since early last year and it hasn't disappointed me yet.

I love this guy man.... He had me rolling with the Dana carvey movie review... OMG.... Keep up the good work. I really enjoy your vids bro

Great review. I can't help but to think that the movie was ahead of its time with the whole Ancient Aliens mining for gold.

You were wondering why tanks and fighters were not destroyed in a war. But You can find many explenations for this. The right question to ask is: how the hell were they operational after a 1000 years? In my old car brakes got to rusty to drive, when I left it unused for two weeks. After 1000 years they would be lucky if they managed to open doors in Fort Knox. Complex machines like jet fighters would be way beyond repair.

Mark you have some serious comedy talent, keep up the good work.

I love this film for all of the reasons you describe! When I found this in the bargain-bin of my local charity-shop here in rural France I felt like a free-diver who had accidentally not only plunged to to the greatest of depths, but had quite by accident found the biggest pearl of them all. 👀

I remember camping with my much older brother one week as a little kid and a storm was coming near the camp site. We had to evacuate for one night and we decided to see a movie. We were so close in seeing this one but at the last moment we went to see the movie Frequency. I’m glad we made that choice, after seeing this review.

Crap lousy ceiling!

Review Dragonball: Evolution or The Last Air Bender.

My friend and I went to see this in the theater, because we had been enjoying sci fi movies with a budget and bad reviews around that time. We exchanged confused looks throughout the entire thing. About 15 minutes before it ends I say "Let's just fuckin go." He replied: "We've come this far..."

Dude..i have seen these bad movies series multiple times over the years...and still have a good laugh Good stuff man 👍🏻👍🏻

Thanks man for sucking it up and doing Battlefield Earth. Have you seen On Deadly Ground, that is pretty God Awful too. I love how Seagal just kills everyone in sight to defend the environment.

I am so happy I don't have to watch these movies and I can just watch your hilarious reviews instead :D

It's actually a wonderful comedy, hilarious!! I recommend watching it with friends, have a drink or two and simply marvel that it was ever made- the Everest of bad films. So many favourite moments.

To think, this film has the same DP as "Hell or High Water". Practice makes perfect I guess lol. I enjoy your channel bud. Be well.

I never comment on RU-vid videos, but this was hilarious!Great job

I liked this movie for all the reasons you dislike it. This is one of the most unintentionally funny movies I've seen. I was laughing in the theater when I saw this. Yes, Terl thinks humans like rats, so he shoves a rat into Johnnie's face. Hilarious!

"Which I didn't read because, you know, why the fuck would I?" LMAO!

Glad you went through this. I’ve never been able to get more than 22 min into this movie.

To the point about the gold: Quantum mechanics and the way elements are produced in stars actually dictate, that gold is quite rare everywhere in the universe. So it is not totally illogical, that other species value it. But the shittynes of the film really does not relie on that.

You gotta watch and review Foodfight! That piece of shit film is on RU-vid for free.

Your reenactment was hilarious!!!!!

I’m only half-way through the book but so far, the movie is an incredibly poor adaptation of the story. It’s amazing that this was a passion project.

I first watched this movie when I was 10 and I thought it was a very good movie then. and yes, after about 5 times this movie grows on you even more. It is now one of my favorite movies.

I can't believe Travolta did this shit.

So glad I watched this before playing the movie cuz it saved me a hell of a lot of time. Although my favorite part had to be the ending and when that dude hit his head on the ceiling 😂

"...which I didn't read because why the fuck would I?" 🤣

Good Review Mark! By the way is that your girlfriend? You have never introduced her before. Congratulations on being on Chris Stuckmans suggestion video. All you need now is for Jeremy Jahns to suggest you and you will have tons of subscribers.

I lost my shit at 4:37 lol, keep up the good work mark!

Does John Travolta's character have dreadlocks growing out of his throat?

The novel was freakishly long. The movie covers maybe the first 1/5 of the novel. The first part of the novel is really good. But once the actual battle with the psychlos is done and they go to either Africa or south America, there are only a couple more battles in the remaining 700 pages. Then banking and politics take center stage. Only read the first 1/5. It shows how this film couldve been great if ir wasn't travolta's multimillion dollar turd. There was no human zoo. Johnny was the first human they captured and trained. They changed SO much.

You do realize the author of this book (that the movie is based off) is the founder of scientology..( L. Ron Hubbard) Which John Travolta is a member of. I wonder if he knew about this prior?

no bacon? I AM OUTRAGED....

love your stuff !

Fitting I saw this review today for the first time.... and I shit you not they forgot my bacon today! What are the odds?!?? Anyway less than a week watching your channel, great stuff!!!

Was that your girlfriend? If it was, WAY TO GO MARK!

Something neglected in almost every sci fi: the humans should not be able to use alien weaponry because it is more advanced, meaning they likely have DNA locks and other far tech security measures that would more likely cause the weapon to explode when picked up by the enemy

Hey dude, can u do I Was A Teenage Zombie from 1984 i think? I remember renting it when i was a kid and being blown away by its cheapness

I was like 10 when I first saw it as one of those late night sci-fi channel reruns, but I actually quite enjoyed it. It's stupid as hell but watching parts of it again now I still find myself entertained.

you are so so so soooo funny lol!!

*Scientology at its finest* Manimals...And the way your commentating in that bored voice is killing me making it so much funnier 😂😂omg omg bahaha!

The USA wouldn’t have used Harrier jets from Fort Hood against the alien invasion because Fort Hood is an Army base that never had Harrier jets. There would have been Apache helicopters at Fort Hood.

some dude sait about this movie that "[the director] understands that directors sometimes tilt the camera but he does not understand why"