While everyone feels anxious sometimes, I have pervasive and intense anxiety that impacts every aspect of my life, only I didn't realise that's what it was until I received an official diagnosis.
My autism means I experience the mother load of my anxiety somatically, rather than mentally. As such, I have spent much of my life itching, aching, and feeling generally worn out and exhausted. I stopped trying to find answers from the medical profession about these physical manifestations years ago after every test I ever got sent for came back with 'nothing-to-see-here', or 'healthiest person I've ever seen' (exaggeration but that's what it felt like). How could I be so well and yet feel so tired and ill all the time? The answer is now clear - I'm autistic and I'm anxious.
In this video, I describe Generalised Anxiety Disorder, and Primal Fears and then discuss my own personal relationship with anxiety and the every-day situations that trigger me.
While it is difficult living with such a nervous constitution, I've definitely tried to tackle it head-on and have rarely let it stop me from doing anything. I'd like to think that's because I'm brave but the reality is, for most of my life I had no clue why everything felt so hard and hit me so deep so I'd literally just feel the fear and do it anyway. While that strategy has definitely got me to where I am today, it didn't come without a few scars and scary mental burnout. I'm making this video in the hope that it may help others recognise the anxiety that lies within them and orientates them towards a path of self-acceptance and safety. Take care and look after yourselves.
30 сен 2024
