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How Brandon Novak Started Shooting Dope | Wild Ride! Clips 

Steve-O's Wild Ride! - Clips
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A clip from Steve-O's Wild Ride! Episode #87 with Brandon Novak
Watch the full episode! - • Brandon Novak - Steve-...
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13 фев 2022

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Комментарии : 1,5 тыс.   
@marcussaldivar6601
@marcussaldivar6601 2 года назад
Man I grew up watching all of these guys, and I could not be happier to see novak and Steve o sober and thriving!
@mikewhipkey6863
@mikewhipkey6863 2 года назад
Hopefully Bam can get his shit together soon
@breakingames7772
@breakingames7772 2 года назад
Look up meth pee, there's a comedy central show about this female comedian who drank her own piss and other addicts pee. Your body does not break down meth so you get high drinking it, she said the meth pee was stronger than regular meth lol. She got clean after busting her sisters toothbrush holder to pee in and it had 20 years of dust, hair, and old toothpaste in it.
@dontplay3088
@dontplay3088 2 года назад
@@tophat2002 na you are the worst type of person 4 judging trusme
@RynossGamingmusic
@RynossGamingmusic 2 года назад
Cant believe after watching these guys as a teenager I still F'D an got an opiate addiction Growing up...
@i2Shea
@i2Shea 2 года назад
This shit really puts stuff into perspective of when we were younger, we didn't (at least I didn't) realize how serious a lot of this stuff was and didn't take it as serious as we should.
@JessicaKent
@JessicaKent 2 года назад
“My reference of years is fucked” lol I feel that in my soul
@Larkin420
@Larkin420 2 года назад
Wassup Kent
@thedishonestjeffsokol2489
@thedishonestjeffsokol2489 2 года назад
if it's any consolation, being the complete opposite is annoying. If a friend says "remember that time when...." i can tell them the exact month and year it happened, even all the way back to 2001, then also correct them when they tell the story wrong. My recollection is picture perfect but it makes me an incredibly nostalgic person who is always looking back.....it's a curse
@mellowvibez2185
@mellowvibez2185 2 года назад
@@thedishonestjeffsokol2489 nah it’s better to have memories than to forget them. For life is meaningless without all of the memories we make along the way. It’s kind of sad when people say they don’t remember parts of their life. It might’ve been fun but how fun could it have been if you don’t remember?
@TheAmericanSpirit
@TheAmericanSpirit 2 года назад
@@mellowvibez2185 Memory is just imagination. Right now is always more important.
@z.b.95
@z.b.95 2 года назад
@@TheAmericanSpirit wtf😂
@placeholdername3206
@placeholdername3206 2 года назад
Jesus man, out of the entire Jackass family and spinoff shows, Steve-O and Novak is literally the last two people you'd expect to end up sober. Trippy.
@Rob78169
@Rob78169 2 года назад
And Bam is the one with a problem. After years of chewing Novak out for being a junkie!
@goatimus6676
@goatimus6676 2 года назад
@@Rob78169 and did u even hear how many meds he was forced to take on rehab? Doubt it
@Rob78169
@Rob78169 2 года назад
@@goatimus6676 what you talking about!!
@goatimus6676
@goatimus6676 2 года назад
@@Rob78169 ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-NoKezJzvp4i.html think this is it but I saw a video he had to take like over ten different pills...I couldn't even pronounce half of them, he wasn't forced but they do weird stuff in those places...they legit drugged my friend and "convinced" him while high to take the vaccine I saw the card so knew he wasn't lying
@nyastclair8174
@nyastclair8174 2 года назад
Most have to hit rock bottom before recovering and it’s safe to say that they were the first of the crew to hit rock bottom.
@zacharyschellinger4769
@zacharyschellinger4769 2 года назад
Heroin junkie depravity is a different level. I had a call where a guy was overdosing in a bathroom. His junkie friend called 911 and hung around until we narcaned the guy and took him to the hospital. The next day same place same time the good friend was the one who was overdosing and the guy who overdosed the previous night not only didn’t call 911 for his friend he was seen running away as officers were driving to the scene. The worst part, when officers grabbed ahold of the dude he had narcan on him and didn’t bother to use it on his overdosing friend, who had ensured douchebag didn’t die the night before!
@sanic28
@sanic28 2 года назад
Thanks for sharing. Hope the second dude is miserable honestly. P.O.S.
@AlexanderTheGrey
@AlexanderTheGrey 2 года назад
Damn lol that's wild
@valleygirltotallyforsure
@valleygirltotallyforsure 2 года назад
Tell me about it, I've saved four people's lives, all of them yelled at me for "ruining their high", ......I asked them,, "what freaking high? You were DEAD.".... The first girl proceeded to steal from me 2 weeks later, funny part is all she took was 2 huge bags of TRASH, yep, she thought she'd made off with valuable stuff and it was literally the garbage that I had that needed to be disposed of. Ha ha, I pictured her getting home and opening it up ..... The third guy I saved stole my boyfriend at the times backpack a few days after ....I ran into him a week later and UNLEASHED on him, I said some awful stuff, called him a junkie piece of shit and that I should have let him die... he ended up apologizing later but from what I hear he's still out benefiting from f-ing people over...what a miserable existence. He's got to have such a crappy life. I do not miss being around people like that at all.
@GamingWITHsKeLeToR
@GamingWITHsKeLeToR 2 года назад
@@valleygirltotallyforsure I saved 2 people myself, and one of them pulled the same shit on me, he was angry because "he was on a good nod", and the suboxone i shot him up with put him in precipitated withdrawal, he showed absolutely no sign of appreciation for saving his life, and i didnt even know this guy, i was with another friend at the smoke shop his dad owned and we were all getting high in there, the dude was one of his friends id never met, he got so mad he was getting hostile, i ended up punching him in the mouth and losing my shit on the guy because of his extremely disrespectful behavior, he was blue in the lips and not breathing, was already almost dead, and gave no fucks whatsoever. the second person i saved was a really good friend though, and he was appreciative, i had to respond when i saw your comment, cause it reminded me exactly of my experience.
@dbspaceoditty
@dbspaceoditty 2 года назад
watched a dude nod into a soma coma while exiting a store. fell right infront of the glare you down cop at the exit. then straaight into a display of toiletpaper dude did it a gain same way a week later frm what he said.
@GOOSEYBRUCEY
@GOOSEYBRUCEY 2 года назад
“I’d steal that, but I wouldn’t let ya die” lol I’m so glad to see both Novak and Steve o are sober and living the dream!
@conservat1vepatr1ot
@conservat1vepatr1ot 2 года назад
Everyone who hasn’t let someone die, thinks this very thing. Dope is evil.
@keithbarlow9701
@keithbarlow9701 2 года назад
This is the way.
@kingsizeblues616
@kingsizeblues616 Год назад
@TOPSPORES ON TELEGRAM no u
@timbuktoo7050
@timbuktoo7050 Год назад
It's that simple
@jaybug1171
@jaybug1171 2 года назад
Novak could play a Russian thug/mobster in movies for life.
@greygoosechase5135
@greygoosechase5135 Год назад
LoL spot on, thinking about it I could see Steve-o playing a white collar turns crooked accountant
@fredohonius
@fredohonius Год назад
I live in eastern europe, he doesnt have any russian features at all.
@jameshowlett1251
@jameshowlett1251 Год назад
He's the type of goon Segal used to beat up in his movies.
@ryankottke8120
@ryankottke8120 10 месяцев назад
Lmao or Irish mobsters
@RossKempOnYourMum01
@RossKempOnYourMum01 10 месяцев назад
He looks like the bad guy from The Mask
@badger297
@badger297 2 года назад
Switching from snorting to shooting was the most fiscally responsible decisions I ever made. But it ruined my fucking life. Been clean since Dec 4th 2017. Love seeing these guys living their best life.
@njk9164
@njk9164 2 года назад
5/13/16 ✊🏼
@John-Doe-Yo
@John-Doe-Yo 2 года назад
You still on subs or anything like that?
@timharper4246
@timharper4246 2 года назад
10/03/07. No dope. No drinking. Life is so much better
@aleczander3457
@aleczander3457 2 года назад
Let me play a song 🎶 🎼 🎵 🎻 🎼
@michaelmiller8455
@michaelmiller8455 2 года назад
Congratulations on your sobriety. Loved your character in Breaking Bad.
@WestMeetsEastIndonesia
@WestMeetsEastIndonesia 2 года назад
So, I have a story. I was addicted to heroin and pills for 12 years. I started off taking Roxy's (little blue pills 30mg) started off with 1 at a time and worked my way up to 3 at a time. Snorting them. In addition to the Roxy's I took percocet. All prescribed to me from a doctor because of a motorcycle accident. Well, this was in Florida, and the DEA shut down the distribution of my pills so I moved on to the cheaper alternative, heroin. I started snorting it at first, but just like Novak said it builds a tolorence and I started to shoot it. The whole time I was addicted I worked as a waiter making tips everyday to keep the habit going. I would shoot in the morning then at work then at home after work until I went to bed, then the cycle continued. I was spending up too $120 bucks a day on dope. And living in a fucked up drug "motel" called the Willard in library city. Finally I after years of the same shit I decided I wanted to get clean. I tried suboxone but relapsed 3 times. Then I broke down and tried to quite again, but this time I told my family what I had been doing and I wanted to change my life around. I got back on the suboxone and was moderately successful, enough to save about 5 grand and move back to New York where I could get on the methadone program. However in order to get into the program I had to show there was heroin in my system. Otherwise they wouldn't accept me. So I found some dope in NYC and shot up again. I did get into the program, but it was 3 years of off and on dope. I then met my now wife. I decided to finally rid myself of the vice that held on to me so tightly. I stayed on the methadone and slowly tapered off of it. I have now been 4 years clean, I'm married, I moved out of the country and have a successful career. Sometimes it is true self love and motivation to be normal and healthy which will save you. I thank God everyday for what I have now and also for what I went through to make me the person I am today. Well, that's my story. If you are in a situation you think you can't get out of please know you can do anything if you want too and you are loved and worth more than you know 🙏🏻 Have a blessed day if you read this far. Thanks for taking the time.
@harveydarnell5583
@harveydarnell5583 Год назад
Amazing 👏
@meeks1201
@meeks1201 Год назад
I have a very similar story except I’m a NYer- a bunch of folks would fly down to Florida during the pill mill era, come back with a shitload of blues- I had an MRI from when I broke my back so I went down a few times with one of the plugs and hustled doctors. It was a crazy time. And like you said they cracked down on all that so I went straight to dope, I’m from the projects so it was so easy and cheap to get. I tried quitting so many times, buying Suboxone/Subutex off the street but I could never get it right. I was bartending and waiting tables the whole time and looking back I can’t believe I would go to the bathroom during my shift and shoot up cuz that’s how deep in it I was, I would use make up to hide my track marks and shit, it was pure insanity. I ended up ODing during a shift, the ambo took me to the ER and I went straight into detox and then into the program. I took my time with tapering and that in itself was a wild ride, so many emotions and realizing why I did drugs in the first place, I had to really face the things I was running from and dealing with them is what’s kept me clean. I think a lot of the times recovery gets overwhelming for a lot of people, it’s a lot havin to deal with so many demons, and they end up relapsing or staying on methadone for the rest of their lives. I thank God everyday like yourself for getting out of all that mess- it hasn’t been easy but now I know how to face reality, that there will be bad days just as there will be good ones. I’ve been humbled so many times and now I live for the truth, as cliche as it sounds I’m just so grateful. God bless you and I wish you nothing but the best
@chrisserrano5479
@chrisserrano5479 Год назад
Hey man I'm going threw that right now does the methadone really work I'm scared of going through the kick at work so I end up using all the time I just want to know if it really holds you till the next day
@gilbertrivera1293
@gilbertrivera1293 Год назад
Stay blessed friend 🙏🏼😎
@meeks1201
@meeks1201 Год назад
@@chrisserrano5479 You gotta get stabilized on a dose that will hold you, the clinic will start you around 40mg and then increase you by 10mgs until you don’t feel sick. It depends on where you are but where I am there are folks who are on 300mgs, I stabilized at 80mgs because I knew I wanted to taper at one point or another but don’t focus on the number, listen to your body. I wish you nothing but the best
@Nativewalker773
@Nativewalker773 2 года назад
It’s amazing to see how good Novak looks man. Proud of his come up for sure!
@MegaLaban12345
@MegaLaban12345 2 года назад
You are?
@Nativewalker773
@Nativewalker773 2 года назад
@@MegaLaban12345 His come up as in his sobriety. Not the drugs.
@kalieann143
@kalieann143 2 года назад
“Snorting is just fucking wasteful” lol spoken like a true addict 😂😂
@natureisallpowerful
@natureisallpowerful Год назад
snorting was a waste to me because I'd of just washed it into crack..sad times.
@TheCosmicDrama
@TheCosmicDrama Год назад
As a fellow addict, I love to see that so many of you guys have gotten clean and are doing well.
@jasonbachelor604
@jasonbachelor604 Год назад
Fellow addict? LOL
@TheCosmicDrama
@TheCosmicDrama Год назад
@@jasonbachelor604 why is that funny?
@jasonbachelor604
@jasonbachelor604 Год назад
@@TheCosmicDrama Because there is no such thing.
@thotpolice3897
@thotpolice3897 4 месяца назад
@@TheCosmicDramaSolo journey buddy
@jamesroberts1655
@jamesroberts1655 Год назад
Dude this is crazy. To think, I've spent my entire life growing up and watching these guys go through some of their worst of times. To think Dunn passed, and he and Pontius we're like, the most sober of them all. To see Novak and SteveO doing so well makes my whole heart warm. This has literally made my whole day. I wish I could meet you guys in person. Congratulations you guys.
@SonicKing1008
@SonicKing1008 2 года назад
Love how raw and vulnerable y’all are, always an emotional trip i’m happy to be on
@highestsettings
@highestsettings 2 года назад
They seem like they've got their shit together now. I wouldn't say they're being vulnerable necessarily, for one, the extent of their drug use is pretty common knowledge. I think they just want people to understand that they've been to the bottom and they still climbed out. If they can fuck their lives up to such a humungous extent and STILL get out okay in the end. Then we've all got hope.
@PopExpo
@PopExpo 2 года назад
I started pills, then smoking heroin, then shooting it up. Which, if you're gonna do heroin, shoot it up, smoking it is just a waste. Been clean for six years now. Still can't believe i shot up dope for 12 years straight and survived.
@lilliampumpernickle9765
@lilliampumpernickle9765 2 года назад
@@PopExpo 12 Years holy shit your a miracle
@mental4508
@mental4508 2 года назад
It’s very therapeutic
@anatta467
@anatta467 Год назад
theyre not vulnerable. junkies love talking about getting high.
@paulakaFATBOY
@paulakaFATBOY 2 года назад
Congrats to the both of you. I grew up watching you guys and I'm 5yrs sober now. I'm happy to see Novak and Steve finally happy as well.
@aaronmiles8286
@aaronmiles8286 Год назад
Keep it up! 🤙
@kingsizeblues616
@kingsizeblues616 Год назад
@TOPSPORES ON TELEGRAM no u
@thedeadxtras9927
@thedeadxtras9927 Год назад
Well done Big Trig on your sobriety, keep it up and wish you all the best, I know how hard it is having been addicted to heroin & crack myself for years and now close to 3 yrs clean, cheers Steve.
@badger297
@badger297 2 года назад
Man the 2 guys I NEVER thought I'd see sober. This is so fucking cool
@jferran7276
@jferran7276 2 года назад
So happy to see Steve-o and Brandon are sober. Here’s hoping Bam gets the help he needs 🤞.
@xtremejakes
@xtremejakes 2 года назад
i feel like bam has to much of a additive personality and doesn’t look like he wants anybody’s help, which is very sad
@voteZDLR
@voteZDLR 2 года назад
I don't expect a happy ending to that story.
@rickkeehn7676
@rickkeehn7676 Год назад
@@voteZDLR Dunn part 2 outcome.
@kingsizeblues616
@kingsizeblues616 Год назад
@TOPSPORES ON TELEGRAM no u
@nvm9040
@nvm9040 Год назад
Bam can’t over Ryan’s death so bam is just drinking and doing drugs to suppress the sadness and if bam can just get over Ryan’s death and move on then Bam should get back on the right track
@WaiLinDot
@WaiLinDot Год назад
Beyond happy for the growth that both of these legends have endured. Thanks for the memories fellas.
@ivanlopez2612
@ivanlopez2612 2 года назад
My friend we've been in the hospital and we just got to see the movie I tell you right now it was one of the best laughs I've had in such a long time and such relief for the situation we're going through I'm super happy you guys Incorporated some new faces happy to see you're doing so well man
@thedude1083
@thedude1083 2 года назад
Always felt bad when Bam would always treat him so bad. Dude is smart and wise. So glad he is clean and deserves more credit for his talent.
@derkaturka
@derkaturka 2 года назад
This is exactly why I could care less for what happens to Bam. Dude was a real dickhead and I think didnt care for any of the others except Dunn(and even when Dunn passed away from addiction) dickhead still hasnt grown up, and accepted that just maybe he has issues with alcohol also. Hope dude can positively grow, but from the looks of it, idk?
@Grandmaster-Kush
@Grandmaster-Kush 2 года назад
@@derkaturka Shit i'd argue using your dead friend as an excuse for so long is even more shitty, he should man the fuck up atleast and stop namedropping him every time things don't play into his hands
@derkaturka
@derkaturka 2 года назад
@@Grandmaster-Kush 100%
@AustrianReaper
@AustrianReaper 2 года назад
@@derkaturka Margera's gonna wind up dead before long. It's really weird how as teenagers he was this cool, larger than life, guy to us.
@derkaturka
@derkaturka 2 года назад
@@AustrianReaper Or at least cool and smart enough to start up a dope magazine. Whats the phrase, "Money doesn't change people, it brings out who they really are??" Think this speaks volumes of truth here, look at everyone else on the show, they had a good heart through most of their antics, even while making lots of money. Whereas with Bam, I sorda wondered, what does he care about, more and more, based on how he treated these guys??
@Grahamt978
@Grahamt978 2 года назад
I remember meeting Novak for the first time at Howard Stern it’s amazing to see how far he’s come, he looked like death at the time. Recovery is possible, best decisions I ever made!
@JimmyR83
@JimmyR83 2 года назад
What was your poison? Just curious
@Grahamt978
@Grahamt978 2 года назад
@@JimmyR83 fentanyl, not something I’m proud of, thankful for where I am today!
@JimmyR83
@JimmyR83 2 года назад
@@Grahamt978 I was hooked on all of that shit too. I started with vikes and percs then oxys… then my neighbor in Florida had these things called Fentanyl Patches lol. Yummmmeeeyy … that shit was the beginning of the end. I used to wear 2 patches at a time of the 100mcg patches. He ended up dying from an overdose of fentanyl and my crackhead ass begged his wife for the rest of his stash.. she sold it to me to help pay rent and funeral costs 🤮… god i was disgusting
@andreashabeck1155
@andreashabeck1155 2 года назад
@@JimmyR83 great that you are doing better
@JimmyR83
@JimmyR83 2 года назад
@@andreashabeck1155 thank you Andreas!!! I feel like I’m in a better place now. My life is far from perfect but I dont deal with that stuff anymore. Thanks again for the kind words ❤️
@l3ftie578
@l3ftie578 2 года назад
"I would steal that but i wouldn't let ya die" honestly i would trust this man with my life
@normie2716
@normie2716 Год назад
But not my wallet.
@joshmellon390
@joshmellon390 2 года назад
Watching these videos makes me want to talk to you guys so damn bad lol. I used for 17 years, crack, heroin, meth, all of it. I was homeless for years, I reached to absolute most depraved depths of heroin addiction and grabbed a shovel. I live in Dayton Ohio, where we were known as the heroin overdose capitol of the country for around a decade, and I don't think we're far off now. I got clean about 4 years ago (19 Jan 20018) and have totally changed every aspect of my life.
@nickhowatson4745
@nickhowatson4745 2 года назад
nice! im 3 years clean thanks to methadone. it flipped a switch or something to where i forget the shit exists sometimes. looking back is crazy like i cant imagine doing the things i used to do, its as if that was a completely different person doing those things not me now.
@jordananderson1411
@jordananderson1411 2 года назад
@@nickhowatson4745 I've recently stopped methadone and got some subutex to wean off. The last time I tried to get off methadone at 3mg I had withdrawls for at least 6 weeks
@nickhowatson4745
@nickhowatson4745 2 года назад
@@jordananderson1411 im on 90mgs so its going to be a long weaning
@OffDeGanja
@OffDeGanja Год назад
Oh jesus. Hope your doing great. That area of Ohio is hell. Happy yoi made it out
@joshmellon390
@joshmellon390 Год назад
It all comes down to wanting something different. I had my "fun," but it was time to move on. I overdosed in my car in December of 2012-ish, and I think the only reason I didn't due was that my car ran out of gas and the temp dropped super fast. When I came to I couldn't move, like how when your leg falls asleep. The only way I could get a breath was by cupping air into the back of my throat with my tongue. I don't know howxI didn't just suffocate right there because I couldn't get a breath. I must have delivered enough oxygen to where it needed to go because I felt my face tingle back to life the same as when your leg falls asleep, again. I shit myself at some point, but It took a while for the rest of my body to come back. Pins and needles in every conceivable part of my body like, ya know, your leg when it falls asleep lol. I was so fucked up back then that I kept using for another 6 years. I honestly don't know what made me make the decision to get clean. I mean, I wanted to but didn't know what else to do with myself.
@foster7517
@foster7517 2 года назад
im 5 days sober from a 13 yr opiate addiction..its tough but my strength is not in myself
@amacmc6093
@amacmc6093 Год назад
Hope you're still ok.
@foster7517
@foster7517 Год назад
@@amacmc6093 yep still sober
@amacmc6093
@amacmc6093 Год назад
@@foster7517 well done! Proud of you, keep it up.
@foster7517
@foster7517 Год назад
@@amacmc6093 thanks bro its hard sometimes but theres no way im going back to that life
@zwebb7327
@zwebb7327 Год назад
@@foster7517 Proud of you bro. I promise it gets easier too, keep up the good work!
@HawkBit9231
@HawkBit9231 Год назад
Seeing Brandon sober is very inspiring. I have a family member that has been sober for a year now. It really brings so much joy to us, the other family members, to see them clean and healthy. Everyday is a journey.
@fungus_am0nguz644
@fungus_am0nguz644 2 года назад
Dude what Steve was saying about dudes STILL being in prison for a blotter of acid is true. Dude I remember in 98 on a Phish tour I met this old hippie guy who had just gotten out of prison that Spring and had done 17 years, 17 FUCKING YEARS, for like 100+ hits of acid, are you kidding me?? Not only that, and he told me all in all he was a lucky one, I was like what??? wacha mean, He told me, that he and two of his buddies got caught , one didnt make it out of prison, the other became a member in a dangerous prison organization, he just got got lucky and got send to another prison, more laid back i guess. The guy struck me as a good soul but kinda burned out, like wacky aloof kinda guy. So what Steve is saying that the Dead left a huge path of incarceration in every state is true.
@codyherman2977
@codyherman2977 2 года назад
Typically when you’re getting 15+ years for drug related offenses you’re a repeat offender and have multiple strikes against you. I’m sure the hippie you met got caught dealing once or twice before
@ronbunn1349
@ronbunn1349 2 года назад
@@codyherman2977 no. Look into LSD sentencing laws. There is still a prisoner support group for old heads who were locked up, first time offense, for loooong mandatory sentences. They treated a sheet or vile as a very large amount.
@derkaturka
@derkaturka 2 года назад
It was called MKUltra sub-project 58. The war on drugs was using touring bands as bait to jail "dissonant" to war, from speaking out later(hence every war since Vietnam, notice how protesters were being made fun of in early 2000?). This was planned and definitely happened. The war on drugs screwed over so many free people and critical thinkers and turned them into criminals because after screwing them for life with a felony charge, on their record, they were forced to sell drugs or other non civil ways to make money which only furthered the take over, by corrupt means via MAFIA, of America for the future billion dollar pharmaceutical corporation.
@derkaturka
@derkaturka 2 года назад
@@codyherman2977 Wrong. Look into MKUltra and the "War on Drugs." The critical thinkers against WAR were meticulously targeted because the for profit, military industrial complex was just getting going into full swing. These are facts. Just look into the military's spending since and before, its pretty telling what they did on purpose. Never mind, that at the time, LSD was a "truth serum" being tested ON US civilians, by the CIA, and that is why is was a charge against you(if caught with ANY AMOUNT of LSD) for, "over throwing the us government."
@cbasbwoyETP
@cbasbwoyETP 2 года назад
Can't have people talking to God now can we
@j.m.5744
@j.m.5744 2 года назад
I always liked Novak, he seems like a genuine guy who just had a problem. I'm glad he is doing well. He took a couple hard shots on Jackass lmao.
@graxo3752
@graxo3752 2 года назад
Yea bro drugs affect so many people on so many levels. Caffeine alcohol, weed, painkillers, antidepressants. Many people struggle with the effects of addiction and some people don't even know they have a problem.
@rickp46
@rickp46 2 года назад
He might be clean, but hes still a scum bag. He would still sell his friends for 500 dollars. Novak is forever a pos.
@blackadam6445
@blackadam6445 2 года назад
Pretty sure he’s the one who dropped in on the half pipe on a toilet and didn’t even go down the ramp he just fell 15 ft or so and bounced his head off the ground lmao
@theguyinchains7777
@theguyinchains7777 2 года назад
He HAS a problem he's struggles everyday just like any addict
@SevenHunnid
@SevenHunnid 2 года назад
I’m just a young mexican that smokes weed on my RU-vid channel.. trying to get out the hood, so many people glorify it but it’s all pain & people goin to prison
@christinacarballoperaza5895
@christinacarballoperaza5895 2 года назад
Novak looks great! I’m so happy to see just how far he’s come!
@JimmyR83
@JimmyR83 2 года назад
Wow that’s a super Italian name. I’ll bet 500$ your from either Central / North Jersey or NY …?? 🤔
@eleazar6831
@eleazar6831 2 года назад
@@JimmyR83 this is youtube bruh💀
@JimmyR83
@JimmyR83 2 года назад
@@eleazar6831 lmfao that wasn’t weird was it???
@christinacarballoperaza5895
@christinacarballoperaza5895 2 года назад
@@JimmyR83 no dude I’m Mexican American from California lmao 🤣 I’m a proud Chicana!!! Now pay up my 500$ bruh 🤣
@JimmyR83
@JimmyR83 2 года назад
@@christinacarballoperaza5895 daaaaamn I was wayyyyy off holy sht 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️
@Trippyz502
@Trippyz502 Год назад
This was one of the best videos Stevo has put out. Brandon Novak and Stevo is a dope ass collaboration. The whole video was interesting. They didn’t blab on about anything, and the conversation was very consistent. Thank you Stevo
@Spamtvplus
@Spamtvplus 2 года назад
Cool to see Paul hanging with such Epic People on this Show
@Dilly-sauce
@Dilly-sauce Год назад
Bless these dudes, a true example of being able to change!
@officialnickelcitygrunge
@officialnickelcitygrunge 2 года назад
My favorite podcast on RU-vid by far awesome shows!!ps congratulations on being sober...not easy...were all human we all make mistakes, peace and love to all.
@nickhowatson4745
@nickhowatson4745 2 года назад
i still have access to good acid to this day. its amazing that after all these years there's still a few dedicated and chemically inclined souls who bravely put their necks on the line to save lives by providing their community safe access to the real substance.
@WeekEndContractor
@WeekEndContractor 2 года назад
talking about true sadness with a smile on your face.
@mitchsmith3296
@mitchsmith3296 2 года назад
I love Novak with my whole heart. Wish him all the best. I spent a month and a half at rehab in Philly and wish I could’ve met the dude
@TheMrRichard
@TheMrRichard Год назад
I used to see Novak just stumbling and bumblin around West Chester just a total mess, I am so glad to see him finally with his shit together, he's always been a good dude.
@jlc5744
@jlc5744 2 года назад
Love stories like this and seeing these guys at thier best
@HeawyMedal
@HeawyMedal 2 года назад
damn you guys really make me wanna maintain sobriety
@austinlmadeit
@austinlmadeit 2 года назад
same
@kylerittenhouse6521
@kylerittenhouse6521 2 года назад
ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-4Ltif4Dfx58.html 😪
@nexxusty
@nexxusty 2 года назад
Yeah, they do don't they?
@kingsizeblues616
@kingsizeblues616 Год назад
@TOPSPORES ON TELEGRAM no u
@jasonbachelor604
@jasonbachelor604 Год назад
Stay in the cult?
@Onahauntingnote
@Onahauntingnote 2 года назад
So glad he’s doing better ❤️
@russellmadahbee8072
@russellmadahbee8072 2 года назад
We had this lady who was like a nurse and she would fix it up for you, but then after seeing it done so many times i eventually just did it myself, realized within a month i was losing body mass and becoming so dependent that it was all we did i had to quit, nearly 20 years now i never touched another needle, taking methodone and now suboxone has kept me safe. Thanks for the good talk
@russellmadahbee8072
@russellmadahbee8072 2 года назад
@Roberto Vidal Garcia well suboxone for like five years now i switched from methodone man
@russellmadahbee8072
@russellmadahbee8072 2 года назад
@Roberto Vidal Garcia Well gradually tried to get off, but I got to sick moved back up.
@russellmadahbee8072
@russellmadahbee8072 2 года назад
@Roberto Vidal Garcia Thank you, still good to stay clean of all those drugs, and enjoy life, be happy!
@AxoraithTV
@AxoraithTV 2 года назад
@@russellmadahbee8072 you're on suboxone 20 years later and were on methadone for 15 years? You're still a junkie dude lol just using legally now.
@benzobrimzs
@benzobrimzs 2 года назад
@Roberto Vidal Garcia bro I been on methadone for 23 years and I know a few folks who are similar. It's better than h or whatever shit they do these days.
@bradpity
@bradpity Год назад
brandon really does have a sharper sense of wit now that he’s got some serious sober time under his belt. he was always funny but he’s just on another level now. 💜
@apacifistmachinegunner669
@apacifistmachinegunner669 2 года назад
Steve-O looks like they disappointed lesbian aunt who lectures you in the thumbnail 😂
@matthayes8456
@matthayes8456 2 года назад
😂😂😂
@Brodzzzzz
@Brodzzzzz 2 года назад
Dude I really didn't think Novak would pull through.. I kind of had hope for Stevo getting sober but not Novak... But far out, He bloody did it! He seriously is talking like a normal person now, It's amazing.
@jasonbachelor604
@jasonbachelor604 Год назад
Like most drug users he got bored with it and stopped. Its not magic
@OlivetheDoge
@OlivetheDoge Год назад
I was hooked on blow for 9 years. Never smoked it. But man did it do some damage. Anyone out there struggling. Keep pushing. It's possible. Happy to see these guys doing good. Grew up watching them.
@3xplisit
@3xplisit Год назад
Must be such an incredible feeling to talk about all the stuff you survived and got through.
@mikeykane5938
@mikeykane5938 Год назад
The story of Novak is awesome man. He added me in the book a while ago. His story made me want to get sober. I’m not fully there but I’ve cut off half of the substances I use to use from time to time.
@derp195
@derp195 Год назад
Really cool to see people talking about this openly. I'm sure it's keeping a lot of people from going down the same road.
@J_McPhearsom
@J_McPhearsom 2 месяца назад
Yea, it’s hard to say how many people this can affect enough to keep them from making same mistakes, but they’ve undoubtedly inspired many who were already addicts to get sober. But, *I think some of us would be lying to say Jackass, and their punk/sk8er culture of drugs, alcohol, and reckless/extreme stunts, wasn’t hugely influential to a lot of young people back then. They were the epitome of “cool” to us impressionable young millennials,* and their casual drug usage and partying seemed like a fundamental trait or prerequisite to assume that perceived identity, and we fantasized about day we’re finally old enough to get drugs “go hard” like they did, and what seemed final step to fulfilling dream to emulate Jackass. *TBH Jackass and their former star selves did “glorify” that lifestyle for a lot of (us) young Millennials back when we were in middle and high school. Reality is unfortunately they inspired a lot of kids to be like, and use like them, in every way possible. The Jackass crew were like the coolest guys on the planet at the time, and all us skaters wanted to be just like them.* It was even more-so the case where I lived at the time - We were *only 10 minutes from BAM’s house in West Chester area PA, and it was not uncommon to find their crew at the skatepark in Delaware,* (sometimes with Tony Hawk or others in tow) skating rails at the high school, at local bars, or filming bits in nearby (public places) like at Brandywine River (where I used to Kayak). *BAM’s crew were literal heroes to us young people in our otherwise unknown small town Pennsylvania , and their influence bled into culture of all us middle & high school kids around there at the time. To be a ‘jock’ or popular was to be one of the skater guys emulating BAM, Dunn, Novak, Steve-O, and rest of Jackass.* Each one of our cliques was really just another group of friends trying to be their own Jackass crew. *The culture of humor, pranks, stunts, delinquency, pushing boundaries were awesome and so fun when it first started and we were younger, in middle school,* _but by junior year of high school, the drugs began to take more center stage._ The fun, everything, and EVERYONE was eventually consumed by drugs. Many would become addicted to coke by junior year of high school, and next came the big-H. By our early 20s, most were hard drug addicts, consumed by heroin. Many died. More would nearly ruin their lives and futures, just like many of our Jackass “hero’s”. Like, as Dunn died and Steve-O went through his rock bottoms, we many of us they’d influenced were not far behind. So in a way, I feel like Steve-O is trying to make up for his part in that influence they had on our (or at least my) generation. And maybe he carries some guilt for that, addressed through his AA program or whatever (Not that they’re directly responsible for so many’s addictions, but *they were our generation’s rock stars who initially, made the lifestyle seem desirable. If only they and us knew the consequences of going down that path*)
@DH-ij9pe
@DH-ij9pe 2 года назад
So glad to see Novak cleaned up and is doing well!!! Never knew Novak and Steve-O were deadheads either! Knew there was a reason I REALLY liked these guys!
@hendrixtarantado2114
@hendrixtarantado2114 Год назад
Damn.. it's weird seeing these 2 just having a mature conversation without someone getting their hair shaved or slapped with something across the face. Shows how time can heal and change a person completely if u have the strength to walk through all the pain, failure, etc and not give up. 👍
@rustzz8
@rustzz8 2 года назад
Best way I've ever heard someone explain going from smoking to shooting, economics.
@cindy8031
@cindy8031 2 года назад
I can't believe he got out. going to Providence back and forth and still made it out alive.amazing
@justinlittle3603
@justinlittle3603 Год назад
One of my brothers died from a blood infection from using dirty needles, before we had a needle exchange in my town. He had heart valve replacement surgery, survived, and jumped right back in. He died a month later. It was harder than losing my own dad to drugs. I was there before and after they pulled the plug, and after they did it and I went in, he sat up and his face moved, but he was already gone. I'll never forget that. I'd seen that beautiful man sit up and talk to us a million times, and for a split second, I thought he was coming back or something, but he didn't. It ripped my heart out and I'll never be the same again. He was an amazing, extremely bright human and drummer. RIP Wilbur To anyone who thinks that needle exchanges are counter-productive, this is why they aren't. Endocarditis is a serious and extremely expensive disease.
@justinward-angelucci9231
@justinward-angelucci9231 Год назад
I met Brandon Novak at a rehab in Poncano Beach called Banyon. It spoke and reached a lot of ppl and was so cool! Sharing cigarettes with ppl looking for a purpose! Amazing what someone's story can do!
@chazmann87
@chazmann87 2 года назад
proud of the both of you!
@Fieldy6686
@Fieldy6686 Год назад
Was never a fan of Brandon back in the early Jackass days but wow, he seems so decent now. A real mix of real and funny. What a proper decent fella he is. Congratulations Brandon
@raysgay329
@raysgay329 2 года назад
“I wasn’t reinventing the wheel here” 😂 that was hilarious
@soyburglar1878
@soyburglar1878 2 года назад
Scott is so precious, lol. To hear him using terms like “China white” and “smacked up” is just adorable 😂👍🏼 Don’t you change, Scott!
@chriscaldwell4482
@chriscaldwell4482 2 года назад
I was born in 1974, my life as always paralleled these guys lives. From drugs to pranks to being a self made stunt man breaking over 50 bones and over 100 stitches, recording it all along the way. I have the highest respect for all of them, pray for them and will always laugh with them. From time to time I'm even refered to as a jackass or dumbass. Lol
@fungus_am0nguz644
@fungus_am0nguz644 2 года назад
Dude you should upload some of those videos and provide commentary on them or something, idk, share em here on yt.
@mongoose4117
@mongoose4117 2 года назад
76 baby.
@JT-un7dc
@JT-un7dc 2 года назад
@@fungus_am0nguz644 most of us have no footage from our antics. At least, in my case all my crazy stuff/skateboarding was never filmed. No access to cameras. Wad a Different era...
@fungus_am0nguz644
@fungus_am0nguz644 2 года назад
@@JT-un7dc hehe '81 i know wacha mean homie, and THANK GOD for that, holy shit. Ive probably be arrested to this day. What a time.....but i asked him amy lover bc he said he had tons of footage. Just as idea.
@IFeelWeak
@IFeelWeak Год назад
Novak seems like a completely different person. Good on him man, hadn’t heard anything about him for a while & this made me happy
@stevenwaz7119
@stevenwaz7119 2 года назад
Novak looks fantastic and carries himself so well. It's great to see
@jayillest9981
@jayillest9981 2 года назад
Really happy for these 2 man
@pete5367
@pete5367 2 года назад
Seeing these two healthy and looking as good as they do, really makes me hope that Bam can turn his life around too.
@WKelleyLucas_KustomScatterguns
@WKelleyLucas_KustomScatterguns 2 года назад
Every asshole has an interview podcast these days... Steve-O is doing an excellent job! Keep up the good work
@Angie716
@Angie716 2 года назад
😂😆
@johnnysi6106
@johnnysi6106 Месяц назад
It inspires me it’s never to late to quit n get sober plz give me strength
@ic93whoib42
@ic93whoib42 Год назад
1st congrats to novak an Steve O loved yalls work from the beginning. I started with pills at 12 an moved on to H by 20. Ill be 33 in December I've been clean 6months an 2 days. I lost my mah my popz an my wife before I hurt enough to wanna get better. All blessings in disguise though because without the loss not sure I would be on the path im on now. I pray anyone who is using decides to quit before they have to hurt like I did before I quit. Never give up on happiness life is to short to spend it hurting.
@kraevinmoorehed1776
@kraevinmoorehed1776 2 года назад
My family got me out of that life just in time ...... I worked on a marijuana farm in Colorado so I got free marijuana... I saved up a couple pounds because I didn't smoke . I then would trade that for anything that had Mdma in it . I would have died if my family didn't jump in and stop me ............ I once stayed up for 10 days straight zooted out of my mind ................. I'm proud of you guys man . You guys shutting that stuff out is one of the hardest things to do as a human being bro ❤️
@beastmaster415
@beastmaster415 2 года назад
Damn dude...10 days?...wtf was that like? 😂🙏🏾
@kraevinmoorehed1776
@kraevinmoorehed1776 2 года назад
@@beastmaster415 looking back on it , it was torture. I kept going because that stuff is psychologically addictive ( if I take more it'll be better ) and I had all the access to it I could handle . You're always trying to avoid " the come down "
@beastmaster415
@beastmaster415 2 года назад
@@kraevinmoorehed1776 damn.. sorry to hear that but atleast you made it out..I've done my fair share of drugs in general but I've always known when to call it quits... moderation is key.. smoking weed helps...alot... but hey, like I said atleast you came back to reality....did you start to hallucinate after being up for that long?
@kraevinmoorehed1776
@kraevinmoorehed1776 2 года назад
@@beastmaster415 yeah sometimes after a long binge you would start to see what we called "shadow people" Just a random moment where you coulda swore you saw someone out of the corner of your eye lol I knew what was happening and knew it was time to "try" to go to sleep lol
@beastmaster415
@beastmaster415 2 года назад
@@kraevinmoorehed1776 😂😂👍🏾
@gudjon_jonsson
@gudjon_jonsson 2 года назад
Im so glad he's still alive🙏
@wosko
@wosko 2 года назад
Love Novak's vibe in this interview
@730ap
@730ap 2 года назад
"thats advanced" hahaha also i like how steve-o asks all these loaded questions
@foster7517
@foster7517 2 года назад
i was lucky enough to have a friend who came along at the perfect time as me an my ex were getting really addicted to pain pills an my friend comes in all happy with a bag of needles like its a party an tells us that shooting up u can feel it instantly and you dont have to do nearly as much then he said it was better than sex...at the time i was having a really hard time paying for my addiction so it seemed like a good choice but i had no idea how addicting it would be and made my addiction 10x worse..i am terrified by needles they make my skin crawl it just shows how desperate you can be when your an addict
@masterbuildersllc8159
@masterbuildersllc8159 8 месяцев назад
I had a twitter beef with Novak years ago, I commented on something that wasn’t cool and we talked some shit. It was about his drug use. Glad to see you doing well and turned it around Novak! Mad props! I doubt you ever remember that shit talking, but it was wild. I think it was in the Bam days and I was giving you shit about your addiction and your talent. Glad you’re alive and doing well, I knew you had talent, man.
@thekidcambo781
@thekidcambo781 2 года назад
Never knew Novak was a deadhead right on brother!! ⚡️🌹💀
@gibshredcamel
@gibshredcamel 2 года назад
I’ve run into Novak several times in philly since he’s been clean. He does the junkie chic look better than anyone
@justinlittle3603
@justinlittle3603 Год назад
I would smile so big if I saw y'all out on Phish Tour. The circus is still going on! We even have meetings at setbreak for the sober folks. Y'all would have a blast.
@TheRevertMuslim
@TheRevertMuslim 2 года назад
“I would steal that but I wouldn’t let you die” lmfaoo
@jasonrozak5757
@jasonrozak5757 Год назад
Novak's Dead story is told a million times by a million different people
@1derlustqueen
@1derlustqueen 2 года назад
"There's no ethics or morals involved when you're smacked up"
@zion6680
@zion6680 10 месяцев назад
It's insane how much clarity you can see in Brandon, he's damned cool. Still full of life.
@JayDeeStizzy
@JayDeeStizzy 2 года назад
Novak looks incredible. Good shit boys 💪🏼
@OMO_E
@OMO_E 2 года назад
God Bless Novak is sober 🙏🏼
@Nick_B_Bad
@Nick_B_Bad 2 года назад
That’s how I got two felonies was by having a friend I knew 20 years since we were in elementary school OD on me and I called 911 and got him saved. An onlooker ratted me for throwing what I had on me and “my friend” got me my second charge by telling them I gave him the shit. Little did I know at the time that was the best thing to ever happen to my life. I cut out all my drug friends and moved away locking myself in my room for 2 years and learned how to live a normal life again. Eventually got back into my trade, got my felonies expunged and went back to school.
@chuyplascencia01
@chuyplascencia01 2 года назад
A blessing in disguise
@cjlong6670
@cjlong6670 2 года назад
How hard was it to get what I'm guessing was a possession charged removed from your record? Been sober 9 years and my possession charge has held me back a few times. Just curious my friend and congrats on the sobriety
@straightcashhomey1261
@straightcashhomey1261 Год назад
Me and Novak got sober around the same time. I used to see him in meetings frequently in Philly. He was pretty shy and quiet back then. Glad he’s still sober
@thecraftyheart3941
@thecraftyheart3941 Год назад
thank you for the honesty Brandon
@gcroller93
@gcroller93 2 года назад
Brandon's personality really shined through in this interview going offscript perfectly watched it all the way through I highly recommend.
@picnicsinspace198
@picnicsinspace198 2 года назад
I'm glad Novak found the strength to get his soul back. I hope one of these days I can too.
@tonijackson3675
@tonijackson3675 2 года назад
same. don't give up.
@RelentlessOhiox
@RelentlessOhiox Год назад
As a year sober now, I was drunk for 8 years straight. I have very little memories of that time. I can confirm his statement on reference of years. Things you thought happened ages ago happened not that long ago, and vice versa.
@voteZDLR
@voteZDLR 2 года назад
He looks great man I'm so happy to see it
@dylanbob3909
@dylanbob3909 2 года назад
Love the dead and phish talk
@boxedfender4810
@boxedfender4810 2 года назад
I started with oxy contin. and morphine. used to have to schedule a guy to come over and do it for me. quit h with Suboxone still on Suboxone but had a huge problem with meth. even with the Suboxone. still a work in process but i am not as bad off as I once was.
@runulfrraui6602
@runulfrraui6602 2 года назад
Whatever you do, do *NOT* quit! i was on 'H* for almost 20 years, sobered up and sadly i got cancer. Now i am 56 and have to use oxy for the rest of my living days. And now i am using more a day than i ever did *H*. And *THAT* sucks! I do know that pushing all that poison into my body has helped the cancer spread and grow. Not worth it man, not at all.
@nicolasbaker9601
@nicolasbaker9601 2 года назад
I've been on subs for over ten years but couldn't put the dope down. Just thinking about blowing clouds makes my mouth water. Went to treatment,valentines day was 9 months clean. God bless ya
@51515123
@51515123 2 года назад
Im originally from Philly. Im living in Bucks County. Where its notorious for heads from Philly to come get clean. I interviewed for this halfway house called Good Friends. I didnt get in but, I know people that have been there. Brandon Novak had gone through Good Friends program and apparently has done well. You used to hear his name a lot by others in the area, claiming they personally know the dude. I used to take that with a grain of salt. Theres definitely pne thing I do know. Is that its super hard to get clean and stay clean. Much props to Brandon. He looks like hes doing well and, has been for awhile.
@stephencrisson3595
@stephencrisson3595 Год назад
I was a addict I was shooting up for almost 4year stopped and got clean when I was 21 I just turned 28 and I thank god almost everyday that I stopped i had one friend that overdosed in my room when I was 18 in my room found hime with needle in his arm and blue lips he was actually almost dead for about a minute until they brought him back he's still alive and he's clean too but I did lose a lot of friends to it lots of lost souls and sadly many more to come so I can definitely relate to this episode🙏🙏🙏
@Zachmp700
@Zachmp700 2 года назад
Novak seems like a completely different person than the one on jackass. Good on him
@Cee_B
@Cee_B Год назад
That’s crazy y’all said that about the whole OD’ing, and being tossed in a garbage bin bc Novak is so right. Corey Taylor’s actually talked about that before. He OD’d when he was like 16-17 or something and his friends threw him in a garbage can and he said he would’ve died but the action of being thrown into a garbage bin and the noise helped him regain enough consciousness and get help. Crazy shit man
@rexmedina4561
@rexmedina4561 Год назад
I heard that too, I was like, wtf Steve o😂
@hexoroid
@hexoroid 7 месяцев назад
steve and novak need their own podcast
@ACTUALLYRICH
@ACTUALLYRICH 2 года назад
Novak’s jacket is what I’ve been searching for for years
@elitheprophet1206
@elitheprophet1206 2 года назад
Man I feel for BAM, wish he'd get better as well
@evaderknives
@evaderknives 2 года назад
Shit, I was old school. In 87' we never even thought you could snort it... As for Od'd, my best friend died in front of me(basically, the ambulance came, but it was too late). I'm scarred head to toe, my whole body is an absess. My arm is locked, but clean 6yrs now... We all have the war stories...
@mrshaneyt4356
@mrshaneyt4356 2 года назад
Isn’t that the truth . We may clean up but are bodies remember those years of abuse. Congrats on 6 yrs 👍
@vangoghsseveredear
@vangoghsseveredear 2 года назад
It's funny, I got clean and took up welding. My arms are covered in burns now, so my track marks aren't as obvious. I always found that kinda funny, I picked a career that actually hid them
@evaderknives
@evaderknives 2 года назад
@@vangoghsseveredear I did the same with knifemaking, unfortunately, there is no covering my scars... I do videos if you're curious, you'll see, it ain't pretty.
@evaderknives
@evaderknives 2 года назад
@@mrshaneyt4356 Oh yeah, they say scars tell our story. Well, I have a 20yr horror novel. It definitely isn't pretty... Thanks!!!!
@RetroGaming_07
@RetroGaming_07 Год назад
I'm glad Steve'o and Brandon Novak and most of the Jackass crew got clean and sober. I'm now 2 years sober from alcohol and what got me sober from alcohol was a few month hospital stay in the fall/winter of 2020 and my sides were hurting. It turned out my spleen ruptured from drrinking to much alcohol and the surgeon removed it. I'm now fully recovered and I only drink coffee, smoke cannabis, drink a few sodas here and there and drink green tea. This was such a great episode with Brandon Novak and I highly recommend watching the whole episode. To those struggling with addiction you can get sober it's all about the mindset.
@SonofAsg30
@SonofAsg30 Год назад
Steve o is great at math. He goes so it’s 500 for 1000 hits. That’s 5 dollars a hit. Lmaoooo 😂 🤣
@masterjenkins632
@masterjenkins632 Год назад
lol steve is so up his own arse, he can't wait to turn stories into something about himself hahaha
@ryanp1467
@ryanp1467 2 года назад
my dad overdosed on heroin. the guy he was with (living with my dad paid his rent with dope) when he overdosed he didnt call the police or anything he stole everything in his house and left him there. he died a couple months later. ill never forgive either of them
@joeyboes7771
@joeyboes7771 Год назад
Sorry man that’s traumatizing, hope you’re doing ok
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