He sets a great example of how a husband should be. I want my husband to be this way with me. God blessed Tony and his wife with each other. I can’t wait to hear the rest of his message on this topic.I’m sure it will be 🔥
Whew! You are so right Tony & I never thought about it like that. In the past, things started off very sweet in the beginning. I was told I was like an angel. Then the cheating and lying started. I was being so desperate & trying so hard to make it work that I became combative & argumentative. I can’t believe I used to actually argue with men about them cheating, begging them to love me and be faithful. Thank God for growth!
It's true. I became a wife because I learned how to pick my battles. Not nitpick about everything. If he voiced that I was doing too much I would shut it up. Is it really worth arguing about the small things? They don't want to hear all that, especially if they're trying and working hard. The sooner I learned the sooner I became a wife.
@@user-do4gc1bu7h What's not rewarding about it? Being married is an accomplishment. The fact that two people chose one another to live out the rest of their days together in a happy relationship. It's plenty rewarding since you asked.
@@Ever.Faithful that's what happened to me when I used to pray for patience. I fo sho got tested many times over the years. I still have a ways to go but I am definitely more patient than I ever was when I was younger.
“Boli Whopper” is my new favorite word😂. But Tony told no lies. I used to have the how did she get married attitude,and then I realized you never know what happens behind closed doors. I have learned to just focus on being patient and waiting for the spouse God has for me.
I wish mothers would raise their sons better though, so their future wives won’t have to bite their tongue so much to maintain “peace”. Because women are held to these high standards of going to get the “bacon” AND coming home to be a wife, cook, cleaner, mom, etc. They don’t get much of a “pass”. Like what if the guy actually doesn’t know the basic things? I guess that’s what you meant by then leave, instead of nagging.
This is a good message. I’ve never thought about being the friend and building organically. I didn’t know any better. Now that I know better, I can do better 😊
What Tony says if you can't say Ouch, say Amen!!! Guilty as CHARGED in so MANY AREAS!!!🤦🏾♀️ Thanks for Deliverance! I was guilty of Pretty Privilege & my ex would say that I ALWAYS ACTED like the teacher! He would tell me, you NOT FUN NO MORE! He said I would ALWAYS HIGHLIGHT WHAT HE WAS DOING WRONG VS. HIM TRYING!🤦🏾♀️ After watching this video, I owe him a BIGGGG APOLOGY! Thanks @TonyGaskins... BTW, I'm currently on Chapter 5 of a Woman's Influence.
So true. I pick my battles with Hubby. Sometimes I get on my own nerves so I learned to shut up basically. lol. You can feel when you’re doing way too much and it becomes nagging. Picking your battles is crucial in a marriage. No one is perfect no matter how good they look they still have flaws. God bless you TG and your family 🙏🏼
Tony you just described me lol how do you know this? 😂😂 I've always been the plus size friend. Every man has always said they like that I know how to talk to men. I don't do too much but I know how to be social when needed. I've definitely fell for a few male friends in the past & they didn't feel the same but it was always crazy bc they'd do things for me like a bf would do. I got treated better by male friends than how some get treated by their bfs.
In order to submit unto him he has to have submitted unto the lord himself. I'm not submitting to a lost demonic soul. Too many of them exist. I've been the submissive woman, the reciprocity wasn't there. I let god be God and let men be men but I can't heal narcissists.
This was so good. A woman needs to have a backbone or she becomes a doormat. I’m glad my ex situationship taught me I can still be me, but never again play about me
I think the thing a women needs most is to vet men better and understand a man looking for a wife (slave/servant) is out here in mass numbers. But a man who Is seeking to BE a good husband is rare. More grown boys out here than grown men. Must know the difference. Also, there is more to life ladies than acquiring a husband. Society tells women we are nothing without a husband, but if he is not a good man, he cannot be a good husband. TG is on point. Learn to walk away when those red flags are there. You see them. Stop ignoring them.
Although I have a nice body and beautiful eyes, I have my Daddy’s nose (well really my Grandmas lol) and I was chose over a lot because of that, especially in high school and in my 20’s. I’ve been the “friend” to a lot of guys then later when things don’t work out with miss perfect in the face, they come to me wanting a relationship and marriage. I’m not married because I told them all no when they were ready to settle with me lol. I do agree it’s best to have a friendship first before anything, that’s what keeps the union strong.
The mind games of it all is so exhausting and nauseating. The more videos I listen to the more impossible things seem smh 🤦🏽♀️. You can be everything and still not enough. I just pray God fills the void and takes the desire away 🥹.
Listennnnnn 😂😂😂😂😂 I love me some Tony Gaskin but let’s be real I cannot take him serious all the time. The stuff he says be having me on the floor 😂😂😂😂😂 hollering!!!! It’s the fact that he say some of this stuff with a straight face and be dead serious!!! Like the big girl bringing the bean dip or the woman who have a nose like her daddy 😂😂😂😂 this man is more that a relationship coach, he needs to add comedian to the list 😂😂😂😂
Whats sad to me is , woman who live with their boyfriends, no car to drive around herself etc its a recipe for disaster, you are not his wife and the men are looking elsewhere , its sad like tony said , a man will use you until he finds a replacement. I am glad im independent it makes our choices better, because we have own car and home so there is no control.
IF YOU GOT TO ASK HIM WHY HE WONT STAY ON THE PHONE WITH YOU WHILE YOU DRIVING HOME, CLEARLY MEANS HE DONT GIVE A DERN A DERN ABOUT YOU OR YOUR SAFETY IN MY OPINION. A MAN WHO TRULY LOVES YOU WANTS TO MAKE SURE YOU OK- PERIOD!
And no I don't put up with jack. It's called being mature enough to communicate. And having a mutual respect for one another. Neither partner arguing over petty things.
I needed this reminder to just chill and have fun with each other more. I can be too serious and goal-minded sometimes. I think we're "close" friends, but not "best" friends yet. We are vulnerable with each other; we have a lot of deep serious talks across so many topics/issues. We laugh and have fun too, but we def need more of those times in the memory bank.
This is such a good message brother Gaskins because people marry for the inside - meaning that is where the true soul mate is found. Yes we all appreciate things on the outside, but the greatest source is on the inside AMEN!!!
It’s true. The only men I’ll openly argue and debate with are my brothers. They still do get mad at me but a lot of times they’re stubborn and only see things from the male perspective so being silent doesn’t help anyone. Yes, I don’t curse nor raise my voice but I’ll be that “combative” woman. However a husband is a WHOLE different game. I can choose my husband but I can’t choose my sibling.
Male friends can be potential husbands so I would steer clear of them. Half half is good at times you can make a point but most times it’s better to stay chill.
I‘m the girl with her litteral daddy‘s nose. From now on, I have to be humble and accept to go through the friendzone. I cuted off a guy I liked because he was not making our friendship something more. Getting away to protect my heart was not the problem but the way it happened. Next time, knowing how I‘m perceived now, I will understand men’s behaviors better. I used to think that I was the J-Lo’s daughter girl. But now I‘m ready to know I‘m not. Plus I‘m a Christian so I dress modestly, I am in my twenties so I don’t quiet have the money yet to buy the best products. I think I have to accept where I still am, stop rushing and stressing for a husband, focus on being happy now, while making the right choices for the future. To all the big nose, fat,big mouth, beard Ladys ✊🏾 we are together 😊
Ooooo Lord! All them whys had me exhausted! Chile it's time to just leave it alone! I tell my friends that but they wanna stay and turn it into a power struggle. Plus, they aren't married to these men....
If a guy doesn’t feel like he measures up as well he will act in the same manner. I noticed when my ex would test me and try to be disrespectful at times but I told him quickly I’m not having it. I let him know as well I don’t have no leash on you so feel free to do what you like. It was about control for him so I left him and never looked back
So true…my husband kept saying the word submit yesterday and yep it sounded like a curse word. I hate that word for some reason. Not saying I won’t submit but I really dislike the word itself.
That’s because it is a disrespectful word the way men use it. They say it like they are telling a dog to submit. A HUMAN listens out of love and respect. A man telling you to submit shows his control issues and ego
We also have to get away from, she ain't got a man as though there is something wrong with her. She don't got a man. So? God will give you who He chooses. He ain't lookin at you as though something is wrong with you?
This is interesting because I’ve noticed that the chics I see getting married more often are the Big chics. The BBWs. And to some pretty decent men too. The dudes be nice looking.
So why were my grand mothers and aunties & mother done wrong by their husbands, they submitted, they elevated their husbands and were cheated on. I guess they needed to choose better 🙄
Tony.... You stupid 😂😂. But listening to you, I know exactly why I'm not married. I like my space. I love being by myself. I'm just looking for that other person that likes being by themselves with someone else. I'm not sure what that is yet.
“They get to know her for who she really is. She learned how to kick it with the boys. And they see her like a sister”. The Brothers treat her with so much respect. “They look out for her”. Not deliberately put her in harm’s way. Not spreading filthy rumors about her trying to sleep with them like male European strangers do. To try to take away the respect the guys have for you that is built-in because a Brother knows you don’t disrespect a quality BW and laugh. That’s not even our culture. 😭😭😭”Because they’re not thinking of her sexually they really get to know her. So they don’t need to interview other people about her. Or take a guess at who she really is or make assumptions. The beauty of commonality”. I remember so well the respect they had for before the European males showed up. 😢
“Around these type of women a man doesn’t have to have his guard up”. He knows instinctively he can trust her and he doesn’t insult her character. 😢I remember. “He gets to kick back, laugh, chill talk about the game or celebrity stuff, etc.”. Or anything for that matter. “Her humility”. They always said that about me. 😭They knew who I was. Same. Same. They didn’t tell people that’s not who she really is and you can’t trust her and she just sits around badmouthing other people. I can’t even imagine Brothers doing that to me. Not without European help and interference. 😢A BW’s name and reputation is her everything. Guess who knows that instinctively? “She knows how to coexist with Brothers”. Yup. Still do.
That’s why I’m my man’s ONLY FRIEND when it comes to women!!! I know ow these type of women snd you’re speaking facts but most of the time they want that man anyway!
Doesn't matter how other women are, it matters how faithful your man is. Look at Job's story. Job said he doesn't even look at other women lustfully. That is a man of faith and respect. That's how a husband should be and his wife should be at ease knowing that he is faithful to her.
@@Raynarare yes I’m sure because I’m single!😂😂I know women like this. The women that’s the homie to all the guys cooking and staying under them all the time studying and getting whatever she want out of them true story!😂
I am old now but wish it was nen like you years ago that talked the truth. I was blessed because I was quiet and they bought me houses cars etc.❤ God bless the black men
You know I am a widow and I just started being worried about my daughter not seeing a father figure in her everyday life. One thing you made me realize is that your wife was raised by a single mom and she is doing okay. I would love to know the wisdom imparted on her that made her who she is as a woman. I am deeply troubled by not having words of wisdom for her but ai just play your videos in an earshot of her so that it will resonate with her to have standards when dealing with all people.
Hi Tony , question: what happens if the woman use to teach him, but decided to stop doing that and just support him, is there still a open possibility for him to see the woman has his wife?
I had a situationship with a guy who was very handsome, but I quickly realized how much of a user he was. I am not “that girl”, kind of nerdy so he thought he was going to use me and abuse me. I kicked him to the curb. That relationship cured my ugly duckling syndrome for sure. The “it” guys and girls are some of the most entitled and selfish people to be with, get someone average and you will be happier.
@@MsAldil You bring up an issue with an "I" statement about how something made you feel or affected you. Don't assume he had bad intentions. If he cares about you, he'll clarify his intentions or correct a misunderstanding and he'll care how he made you feel...and likely apologize for that. Then you kindly/respectfully (not in an annoyed/condescending tone- check your body language too) make a request for what you want him to do going forward, NOT what you don't want him to do. And THANK him when he does it, even for the simple things...even if you think it's what he's "supposed" to do. Appreciation, with eye contact, and a little smooch goes a long way with men. Starting with "you😡 did this/that" makes him stop listening and go on the defense, especially if you add "always" or "never." And they perceive telling them what NOT to do as condescending as if they are a child...and if you do it repeatedly (aka nagging) he might even ignore you and keep doing it to spite you. If he's in his feelings, he won't say "I don't like how you're speaking to me. I don't know who you think you're talking to like that." These are a few communication techniques I have learned over the last few years.
The fact that he dated you for 4 years without marrying you was the big red flag. It was a relationship of convenience until he found something new. In the future don’t wait that long to see if a man will marry you
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS. YOU REALLY HAVE ME THiNKiNG ALOT..I DON'T WEAR MAKEUP, ALWAYS HAVE A PONYTAiL. GUYS HAVE LOOKED AT ME AS JUST A" FRiEND, HOMEGiRL"..BUT iM NOT THAT HEAVYSET...YES, HOW DiD SHE GET MARRiED WHETHER HEAVYSET OR NOT i OFTEN WONDER ABOUT THAT??
Tony I’m curious. What about the men that DO nit pick at everything? My ex husband used to do that. He was very clean. Do you think that means he’s gay? I’m not a dirty person. Would love your thoughts on nit picking men.
Tony always says that there are exceptions to the rule , take what you need and toss out the rest . May even be possible that such a man was feminine or just the way he was brought up .
I don’t think that him being very clean equates to him being gay. He could have been brought up with that level of standard. I’m a woman, and I am also very clean and like my environment just as clean. I know and understand how this can be overwhelming for someone who is the opposite. It could also be something regarding trauma - some of it is for me.
my ex was the same exact way, and i suspect him of being gay as well. He even got mad at me and said i needed to pay him 400 dollars because i refused to go to a sam smith concert.
Maybe he is a godly man. Cleanliness is next to godliness!! Being a clean man does not make a man gay. I know many Christian men that are clean because they are brought up in a clean home and taught cleanliness is godliness!
You can stay silent and supposed he wants you as a wife. That is a grown boy. A man is open to kind, non hostile suggestion. If you have to get in his face, if it means saving his life, do it.
Wow, dropping new gems I've never heard put in this perspective...i.e. a woman planning to make a man marry her, and the man will stay to show her the game when he feels backed into a corner. Unbelievable 🙄
Honestly, this so confusing for me. I have no idea how to be all of those without the other things. I don’t know how to balance all of it. But I think with the right man it works. Idk. No disrespect but I have no clue how to do this.
Girl, all you can be is the best version of yourself. Nobody can be perfect and that's ok. Just be empathetic and respectful and that will take you far.
