Now I understand why some men have told me that I think like a man. I don't share much of my personal business or past emotional trauma with someone I just meet. One tip ladies...have your questions ready to change the subject back on them so you 😉 don't over share
I do this! I never share real personal details with men especially so early on. Many of them just want someone to have on you. I never give them anything to go on. Not all men are like this but many are. There is a bw hate train going on. And I refuse to get caught up.
I over share and sometimes I make it more exaggerated that I think the reason he walks aways. Coz even I don’t talk alot like before and not making exaggerated things happened to my life. And u knw what. The result is the same. They both left. The other are slowly left, the other is just a blink of an eye.
God has DEFINITELY sent you to help us women, specifically black women, to learn to value ourselves. I wanna give your WIFE the biggest hug for being selfless and understanding the work that you do to help women like me. I wish your family many blessings. We need black men like YOU. Your teachings have completely changed my life and I am forever grateful!
@@noemie1873 this young ladies response wasn't to say any race of women got treated better by their men than any other. Not sure why your response is igniting that thought. Or maybe I am misreading you. But if you re-read how she says it, you'd see she's speaking from her experience as a black woman and that's the only way she could speak. Geesh! Honestly, no one really cares about another woman's race and how that race is being treated. Majority of the time we tend to stay in our own race lane. This is even added in her beginning statement brother Tony was hear to help US women(ALL inclusive) but because he's a bit more familiar with his own race she added specifically black women. So please don't try and make her statement more than what she said. 🤦🏾♀️😔 carry on.
In order to know what a man is really like you have to keep your eyes and ears open and your mouth closed. That one was a hard one for me to do(To stop talking so much) but I'm practicing it. Silence is really golden.
Not talking enough is one of the reasons dating is hard for me. If I don't have an emotional connection with the person, I don't feel the need to share. I share when I feel that trust building. Men seem to ask about very intimate and vulnerable things when I first meet them. I feel physically uncomfortable because it comes across as manipulative. I close off.
I am laying here with tears in my eyes because I didn't listen to you Tony! Last year I binged on your videos and got the knowledge. Thought I was healing and boom got into another toxic relationship with a grown boy. It's TRUE most of us won't listen to you but yet we watch you. I'm now pregnant with my first kid getting ready to be a single mom. Getting treated like shit and trying to not fall apart. I saw the red flags😭 but Tony one thing I did take your advice on is fighting like a grown woman. Pray baby and I can ease out safe and if God get us through I officially learned never again. Tony I pray women take heed.
I feel like I don't understand how to be a human being anymore when it comes to dating.Hard to trust anyone these days. But I enjoy Tony's advice to fall back and observe and let the man reveal himself. I just want a kind, solvent grown man, with a good heart, that I have mutual attraction with. How can this be so hard ????
@@danyelgarcia3689 Yes indeed! 🙏🏻I have started praying for sure. I even have a best gf I call and we prey together on the phone to clear our minds and hearts when we have strange or hurtful interactions with "Men". There are a lot of mentally and spiritually unhealthy men / grown boys out there. Society keeps grinding men into shadows of who they once were. I can't believe the speech or the behavior I have seen and experienced. End of times level behavior. It's Unbelievable we have to use so much caution but we do. Tony and RC get us thru -- like a beacon thru a swamp. I will only lead with friendship from now in potential relationships so I can really see the soul of the person I am dealing with not just the body, but the mind and spirit must be intact and compatible.
I've come to the conclusion that it's best to just work on yourself and love yourself and just let God send the man. Don't go looking just sit down, be quiet, and have some patience. I tell myself this everyday !
I used to tell men that I dated my past and he will tell me his and I thought we were being transparent with each other only to find out it back fire 🔥 on me and I was so disappointed so lesson learned .Now I jus keep it cute and mute 😒
Tony told no lies, my ex boyfriend, a grown boy threw in my face things I had told him about my dad. I was like whoa. I lost respect for him after that and never looked at him the same, and after that, I now keep my mouth shut, even in a relationship Iam still guarded. Blessings Tony to you and the Queen
Yes!!! Tony Gaskins you can’t be more on time. Never too old to keep learning. I pray that you stay so sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Right on time Tony!!!!!!
After all this time watching Tony’s videos and hearing people describe the men they meet as narcissistic (which they may or may not be) following Tony’s advice would help you side step even narcissistic men.
If no one has ever told you, YOU ARE THE BEST COUNSELOR and TEACHER ever. You always give the best advice and right on time with the exact info that is needed. I am soooo glad I listen and pay for your time and value to be so authentic and honest with us to really want to grow and better ourselves in life. You are a great role model n leader. God bless you and your family Eternity Brother. 🙏🏽🙏🏽😩🥲🙂🙂
He''s amazing sis! He over changing lives! Dudes get scared now because they realize very quickly I aint the one. You'll get smoked over here tryna play me. I have learned to love myself even more because of his teachings. He's a God send....for real.
Haha I just got off the phone with a guy, I watched this video first. I asked him what happened between him and his ex. Tony, he literally said, "it just didn't work out." I was thinking, Well I'll be damned! 😂
God bless you brother Tony Gaskins Jr. You are a Godsend to this generation!💯…in my looooong season of singleness when I’m tempted to grow weary, you make me realize God has actually answered prayers that I forgot that I prayed and has been protecting and preserving me ALL this time from the lesser self that I was and these grown boy predators! Glory to the all knowing God who goes before us! Blessings! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙏🏽
Finally got this memo... Yas - mirroring us... setting us up. Cut the intel is my new motto! Thanks for all the rich blessings today, Tony! Joined the Blessed Tribe today. :) Agape from Canada, All.
“I’m right there with him” 😳🤣 I don’t know why that cracked me up so bad. I’ve told my husband many things about my past and he never throws it in my face. I guess I got a good one ☺️ I still like to watch these type of videos to keep my mindset right though.
I normally ask people a lot of questions and I'm a good listener. It's them who tell me things about them. I find it uncomfortable to open up. I don't talk about myself unless i know they'll understand or i trust them enough to listen and care. I'm an introvert, as much as possible i don't want the spotlight on me. I know about others more than they know about me. The guy i like rn, we're best friends. When we met we first talked about our problems. We had difficult conversations. So right from the very start, care and respect existed in our friendship. We both give each other safe space to express ourselves. I'm learning to be more open, he listens to me, and is very accepting. He always asks me how i feel, and always tells me he's willing to listen and be present during the good/bad/blah days. We are in tune with each other's emotions that we feel and notice what the other person is feeling without the other saying anything. So we encourage transparency in our communication because it's useless to keep things. We both notice when the other person is not ok so it's better to just talk about things. We are each other's emotional support. And honestly, he is the best person I've ever met. I call him my lab rat, and he calls me his guinea pig. We study each other and try to understand each other better. I still have a lot I haven't told him, but he already knows my past mistakes which is something difficult for me to discuss but I consider important to let the other person know anyway. So before we even fell in love, we already know the worst things each went through. We don't use it against each other, it helps us be kinder to each other. We read the bible together and sing songs together, we help other people together, we are a team. We are thankful to God everyday for meeting the other. Idk. It's just effortless and easy and natural. Just sharing. ☺️
You're so right Tony, but I guess the reason sometimes I ramble on and on talking sometimes on a date is because the guy sometimes don't be saying much of anything, or I don't want to come across as boring or way too shy.
@Patricia Then, HE was the one that was "BORING". 😆 If I'm the one that does most of the talking, I take it that he's not that interested in me. I'm not looking for a shy man.
You are correct i didn’t tell my ex dudes nothing bout my past because I observed him and see he was a gossiper and like drama he seem like if you tell him anything he’ll use it against you later
What helps me understand how i look to men is putting myself in their shoes or seeing myself the way I see them. Example: if a guy is really cute, but his clothes matching and he overly confident flirting in a farrari, and it comes off lustful, to me its not cute....and alot of times we women think "ALL WE NEED TO BE IS CUTE" , but just like i see past a cute mans beauty, he may see past the beauty. I put myself in men's shoes, when i wonder things, like "would i ghost a guy i really like"? Would I barely see someone I really like? Would I barely call or ignore a guy I really like. (Common sense isnt common-Tony G.)Is a man w matching clothes & shoes w a nice car everything to me? Im personally not attracted to a man who is too flashy, or attracted to a man who is perfectly handsome w conceit, and Im sure guys feel like that when women are matching, flawlessly dressed, and arrogant. Down to earth is better like Tony said, be yourself..
Tony Tony Tony! I been wondering why my dating experience start off strong and then go weak! I been giving away to much information 🤦🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️. I got it now 👌🏾
TG, this one was SPOT ON🎯……I used to willingly share innocently, thinking this is what people do in order to get to know one another; WRONG!!! I’ve learned my lesson. Don’t give them intel to use against you. Just sit back and watch who they are-don’t give them the pleasure of picking “the Denzel role”….I loved that part TG🙌🏽💕☀️
Yesss Tony. Great topic. Makes sense. Men that dont know us do not care about us and our feelings! Thats common sense! They don’t need to know personal information about us, especially when first meeting someone! Dating is alot of work. Relationships are alot of work. Marriage is alot of work. Careful what you wish for… 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Happy Birthday to Your Dad, enjoyed my 1:1 coaching session with him a few months ago. Tony this hit home and you put it very plain and simple. Point Blank Perioodd! Blessings and Abundance to you and your family.
Wow!!! This explains so much of my past experiences in the wrong relationships with the counterfeits. Thanks for sharing, this will definitely be on my tool list to be more equip when I date.
Tony, I just wanted to thank you because you have literally saved the lives of many women including myself. These are the talks that my parents never had with me being old fashion and if they would have it would have saved me so much heartache and bitterness and so I hope you know you are literally saving the lives of the women that have the ears to listen. I thank you for giving me the information that my playboy of a father could have never given me .
Dropping gems 💎 I have noticed this that's why everyone says I'm too quiet which makes me come across boring but at least it's been admitted now, happy birthday by the way 🎂 🎈
Everything you said is true....I just allowed myself to go through this because I ignored the signs. Thank you for reinforcing these points. They are appreciated 🙏🏾.
I LOVEEEEE mr gaskins advice, free help and so much wisdom! dating is hard (not literally but its hard work). i wish more men would watch his videos so they can do self work as well. but then again, men arent as mentally prepped to take critiquing as we ladies are. and then i dont think many guys would even watch this channel to even get the same wisdom we've been getting. we do all these things to hopefully be a better individual and attract the right individuals ...live right...love ourselves, prepare for a better love life, life in general, be closer to God but will or can a man be taught these same values? the advice tg gives is literally LIFE CHANGING. I can't thank him enough for this. i just wish men had the same resources...or maybe they do! i just dont search for it like i search for mine 🤷🏽♀️ ughhhh life!
Yes Uncle Tony! I thought I was tripping when I was explaining something similar to the girls but this was definitely confirmation. *sends link to group chat* lol Thank you! ❤️
My new response to men when they ask, what am I looking for in a man has been “ I don’t know yet, but let’s try this out and see if it’s a fit. 😂 and when they ask about exes. I always say I’m sure he is ok wherever he is. Our break up was a mutual agreement.
Not goons Tony 😂 I definitely learned my lesson. Jesus!!!! Glad I went and got me a therapist, it’s the best investment I’ve made. I kinda don’t even wanna date no more. I will take you advice on waiting until my youngest turns 5 yrs old before I date. You taught me a lot and I thank God for you. I appreciate you TG That’s evil for a person to use what you’ve shared with them and they use it against you. It should be able to share and learn. I appreciate your, I hear you tho keep my business to myself, the Lord and a professional. Know how to tell a man that has nothing to do with you and that’s none of your business.
