How Do I Get My Husband to Stop Drinking? (The Secret)

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In this video, Karen Willock, who runs Tree House Recovery's National Family Program, discusses practical tips and strategies for partners of addicted loved ones to use in order to overcome co-dependency as well as painful rumination and obsession.
Visit treehouserecovery.com to learn more about our treatment program, featuring 8 unique addiction treatment modalities that will optimize your whole being. Using physical and clinical based approaches to addiction treatment, we truly offer a program unlike anyone else, giving you a platform to mold your self into the person you know you deep inside. That inner you is ready to come out and excel, and we want to get you there.
Tree House Recovery has lead the field in defining innovative and proven RELAPSE PREVENTION techniques. Tree House Recovery constantly adapts to find what components will truly solve what many struggling with substance abuse just can't seem to get. That is of course, total recovery from addiction / alcoholism.
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22 июн 2024

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Комментарии : 204

@Justme77400 10 месяцев назад

My husband doesn't think he's got a problem. His whole personality changes when he drinks liquor. He is obnoxious, not abusive but I'm so fed up with this cycle.

@Sh4d0wzzz 7 месяцев назад

My girlfriend has the same, i didnt link it befor. I didnt see the signs, i trusted her fully. But in hind sight its all so clear. We love our partner and want the best for him/her thats why it bothers us. On top of that I feel ashamed to tell anyone about this problem, like I dont want people to know she is an alcoholic. The part where she keeps lieing to my face really hurt my trust. But no matter how much we fight, what i say or do.. she claims not to be addicted... even when i caught her drinking at work. I really dont know how to fix this, and where things wil lead us. But i am at the point that i am not planning any big long term plans anymore. I think im being realistic that this could only get worse if she doesnt change. In the meanwhile shes sleeping on our date night and im watching videos on youtube how to fix what cant be fixed. I think i should enjoy my free night instead of watching these videos..

@sujatafernandes973 5 месяцев назад

I am hvg similar story. He never thinks he has a problem. He becomes a totally horrible person when he under the influence. i too am fed up, Bn married for 25 yrs n love him a lot but only when he is sober.

@lifewiththehollins 5 месяцев назад

I'm in the same situation

@kirti250 5 месяцев назад

Same situation but he becomes physically verbally abusive. Right now he is in the rehabilitation centre. Scared don't know what else to do

@pammietime4495 5 месяцев назад

Leave him if he comes back and abuses you again.Stop the cycle.Get yourself help.Move to another city or state.Stop being abused.

@daniellephillips9789 2 месяца назад

I drink and I want to stop. Please pray that I over come it.

@Macck.fitz.22 2 года назад

Nobody will change unless they want to…

@Deuce_Dufresne Год назад

True

@VictorVargas-bb2zj 7 месяцев назад

I want to. Does this mean I don’t want to enough?

@Aroseisarose15 7 месяцев назад

@@VictorVargas-bb2zj you want to, but it’s hard. There is so much help out there. My husband does not want to. It is heartbreaking to believe I will never see the decent human being he once was again. I wish you and everyone out there struggling peace and hope on this night, wherever you are.

@deliacordero5128 4 месяца назад

Plain and simple!!

@Macck.fitz.22 4 месяца назад

@@Aroseisarose15 if he’s causing you problems you should put yourself first and leave him alone

@das_krishnamachhi Год назад

My husband also alcoholic..I tried 16yrs to change him but now i stopped..now I spending my energy how to keep myself happy

@richardlynch6927 10 месяцев назад

I’m a single parent of an adult son who is an alcoholic , I’m going through hell emotionally , physically my body aches from all the anxiety , fear , worry and stress . I need to let go otherwise it’s going to kill me .

@HummingBird-wu5vf 27 дней назад

Exactly inner peace is very important than anything

@LadyTanukiTime Год назад

🥺 doing it. Totally walked away. The absolute harassment and abuse that is ensuing is gnarly. God put me somewhere safe.

@lifestylebylorilynn8279 2 года назад

Thank you so much for your video. Struggling with my husband at the moment and I am finding life very difficult.

@ericagreen6585 Год назад

I’m here with you sister, take care.

@indukaur5355 Год назад

Me too

@laurarobles-arenas3030 Год назад

Me too

@thisnthatlife6240 Год назад

Same here, and have a baby on the way ...

@onlinetrends1195 Год назад

Same here..

@thiskneegrow 2 года назад

Let my gf go on a drinking binge like she wanted. She ended up drunk at another person’s house getting screwed everyday. The best thing to do is to leave them. Get them out of your life.

@jtaimeish 4 месяца назад

This doesn't work. I've been working on myself for 10 years and he's still an alcoholic.

@christygarcia6345 2 года назад

I have been struggling with my husbands alcoholism for 19 years and it gets better until then it gets worse. I really love him and am happy when he is sober. I do want to change but I don't want to live my life alone without him. I want him to overcome his addiction. I want to live the life I want but with my husband sober , not without him 😢

@christygarcia6345 2 года назад

This is so difficult . Why me? I deserve to be happy. I grew up in a warm positive environment and turns out that my life with my husband is very unstable because of his alcoholism.

@TreeHouseRecovery 2 года назад

Give a call. We’re here to help you through it.

@Mikimouse1011 2 года назад

I wanted that too. For 18 years. But it never happened. And I learnt I was codependant on him. So after years and years of being the wife at home while he got drunk, drunk drove, spent all the money, gaslighted and treated me like garbage, only to be sorry and things would be ok again, and you have hope it will stay that way, but then out comes the bottle again… I planned my exit and left. Was not easy. I was pretty bad emotionally after leaving, but am slowly working through the trauma. The breakup did trigger him to get help, and he is getting treatment. If I didn’t leave he never would have. However the trust and relationship is so damaged I will never go back. But I have a new life now, I am free to be me and do the things I love. I was suffocated in his addiction. I had to ask myself - is this the life I would want for my daughters? No? So why do I allow it for me.

@dawnmboni4000 Год назад

@@Mikimouse1011 You're so strong, do you ever think that your life just feels empty without him?

@Mikimouse1011 Год назад

@@dawnmboni4000 Hi lovely. I did at first. We did try again, but the lies and drinking continued and he even got worse for a while. It has been nearly 11 months and I am so happy he is no longer my issue. I lost myself and my social life due to his drinking, I was a shell by the end. I have worked hard to get out there socially again and now have a very happy life. It is great not worrying about what I am coming home too. I will always love him but he dishonoured our vows and was not a safe place for my heart. Counselling has been great. I finally have my spark back :) I had to go through the stages of grief, but there is hope on the other side. We do not flourish under someone’s oppression. If leaving is your plan make sure you have a support system ready to go - family, friends, counsellor experienced in trauma, even facebook groups. And allow yourself to feel what you feel. Healing takes time and no emotion is wrong. I don’t ask about his drinking anymore, last I heard he was on meds to stop cravings but I also know he is out clubbing again so not sure where he is at. It is no longer my problem. I can only control me - my words, my actions, my thoughts etc. I had to let go of thinking I could fix him or control the situation or his behaviour. That was so freeing! I wish you all the best in what you decide xx But there is life on the other side x

@tarabooartarmy3654 Год назад

My husband got better for a long time, but he slowly started up again and it’s getting worse and worse. He’s told me repeatedly he doesn’t WANT to quit and he NEVER will. He did for months to try to keep me, but once he realized I was staying, he slid right back into it. I’m destroyed.

@realcanadiangirl64 Год назад

Then you know what you have to do

@brittneer8940 Год назад

😢sounds like my story at the moment I’m so sorry..

@tarabooartarmy3654 Год назад

@@brittneer8940 I’m sorry you’re going through it, too. Sending you love and best wishes.

@thabiletsunyane2040 9 месяцев назад

You need to leave. Not for him to stop. For YOU to take care of you.❤

@jess21568 8 месяцев назад

That's what I'm afraid of. Him stopping for a while to show me he has changed only for things to slip back again. I really don't like the way his personality changes when he has drank too much and the way it makes me feel, it puts me on edge and I wonder what he will say or do next. It doesn't really help me have a stress free life.

@kaelynblankenship5293 4 месяца назад

Thank you so much😢❤. This is exactly what I needed to hear. He tells me all the time that me and the kids are the reason he drinks. I hear it so often, it's hard not to believe. But his drinking, is his problem. I'm empowered to take charge of myself. Again, Thank you❤

@SimplyfknSavage 8 месяцев назад

I'm on a never ending battle of healing. I don't think I know how to heal. But I like you. You got a new follower and I have someone who knows what they've talking about. Finally. 💪🏼

@brendavandyk3187 Год назад

35 years thinking he would change...wait for kids to les e school 😢then leave home now still in same place. The life stories differ but in essence they are all exactly the same. A ll the rehab won't help unless he accepts he is an alcoholic...funny how they like to convince their own children that it is okay and that mom is to blame as she never stops bitching😢thank you for the priceless advice to start taking care of myself. I think that way I can save my son from my husband and his continuous denial God bless you snd your 3 children from one recovering alcoholic mom to another 😊

@Stanley.1977 8 месяцев назад

Only the husband can make the husband stop drinking. The same is true for the reverse. This is also applicable to *ANY* addiction -including gambling and other non-substance-related addiction (be it gambling, sex /pornography, nicotine, you name it). Lord please help every still-suffering addict to beat his or her demons. Addiction of any sort, including addiction that doesn't involve substance abuse, still harms EVERY family member and friend that loves the addict. 🙏

@kjbrocky 2 года назад

They don't all WANT to stop!!

@rachaelbrown6348 Год назад

Thank you!! I needed this.

@normanpouch Год назад

Brilliant speech, so true. Thank you.

@janeviscolosi6455 11 месяцев назад

Thank you for this helpful video!

@christieneBrandt333 Год назад

I got the book The Cure for Alcoholism" by Roy Eskapa. This book was written by the team (headed by Dr. Sinclair) who developed the medication Naltrexone. Unfortunately when we got it prescribed...the gal at this place told him NOT to drink on the medication and that she was trained by the American Medical Association. Well, the book was written because of this....being told to take it improperly. Over and over again in the book it talks about taking the medication before your first drink. You must be actively drinking in order for it to work. He did it the right way....(taking it 1 hour before his first drink) it works on changing the neuropathway for craving alcohol. It can work on the worst of worst cases of alcoholism too. After a few weeks his consumption had dropped dramatically without him even trying. It worked....brilliantly. The book is wonderful too....with great explanations and examples and straight talk. Sadly, my husband stopped using the medication. I cannot for the life of me understand why. I think there is a spiritual component to this too. He is now bedridden again from way too much drinking and is unemployed....again. It is insane. I wanted to share this though....because if they are willing to take the med it works on most people.

@shilpamenon249 Год назад

Hi. I believe it is because the spiritual component is : there is self growth hidden in dealing with our pain. Taking medicine doesn't really lead to that spurt of mental and emotional growth that comes from having worked through the pain and having discovered your own power hidden in the egoistic identity fueling self sabotage.

@walkinloveonpurpose9496 11 месяцев назад

Ma'am thank you so much. This has me in tears

@user-sg3so3dq8m Месяц назад

Great advice very helpful .❤❤

@markothefrog728 Год назад

Great speaker. BRAVO!

@melissabrosnan32 9 месяцев назад

Thank you for this video. It reminds me that I can have a better life.

@anne-yo3mc 11 месяцев назад

So true. Thank-you!❤

@sunroomhealer Год назад

Thank you 🙏 I needed this reassurance….

@TreeHouseRecovery Год назад

Happy to help. If you needs to talk, call anytime.

@milliesutton6372 2 года назад

Thank you for the video and for being so candid. You are so right! I may not be able to change my husband, but I certainly can change myself.

@RR-js9kl 12 дней назад

This is the BEST Advise ever! I am going to travel the world and spend time with my family!

@unapologeticallyauthentic2428 Год назад

Wow. Thank you for this video and thank you for sharing you brief testimony in the end. It truly is a generational curse, and I’m happy you broke it from your life and is helping others (Very inspiring) I love your point on taking your focus off them and prioritizing oneself and resetting the family structure. That’s currently what I am doing. Married to an alcoholic isn’t easy and we can try not to seem judgmental but when coming from a family of addicts or different sorts I understand the generational effects and I do not want it affecting my children.

@MamaBakerElisabethBaker 2 года назад

Hi Karen. Thank you so much for this video. I couldn't have seen it at a better time. I saw you speak for a group that I belong to. You are so wonderful. Thank you for everything you do. ❤

@bassmomma11 2 года назад

Thank you for saying what I need to say.

@backwoodsmaster Год назад

Thank u so simple but so amazing!!!!

@caroltripathy784 Год назад

I love your video!

@joyaaa9940 Год назад

I guess the natural consequences is letting my mom to leave my father. What's stopping her is us, their children. She doesn't want a broken family. Growing up in this kind of environment is very tiring especially if my father's attitude changes when he's drunk. I mean, he's a good father but he speaks negatively when drunk. And, we were very ashamed because our neighbors can hear his voice etc. He stopped drinking for months because his doctor scolded him for taking medicine for his highblood then keeps on drinking. At that time, his excuses for drinking is when there's an occassion until it happens all over again. I'm tired, and I know that my mom is the one suffering greatly.

@joyaaa9940 Год назад

If we try to lecture him when he's sober and my mom keeps on saying that he needs to take care of his health, he will then change the topic jokingly. He always avoids it. Sometimes, I wish that alcohols were not invented 🥲.

@Padrys 5 месяцев назад

Same situation

@susandeschenes5033 2 года назад

Thank you♥️

@suzettesylvestre3265 2 года назад

Thank you so much

@TreeHouseRecovery 2 года назад

You’re welcome. We hope this video is helping. Call us if you need any help

@lauraronni5315 Год назад

My change was going to church. He doesn't like it but it makes me happier being apart of a church. I never touched drugs enough to be addicted because I didn't want a future harder than I wanted. I love him, but I am hoping new faith I bring into the house makes him appreciate me more

@show_me_your_kitties Год назад

My friends mother went to church for 25 years before her husband turned his life around, quit drinking and went to church. Truth is he just got old and got to unhealthy and he had to quit or die.

@chaosmanifesting Год назад

He will never appreciate you more UNTIL u give him a REASON to appreciate YOU. DRINKING IS A SPIRITUAL BATTLE... curses, demonic spirits, he needs to REBUKE those spirits but he has to WANT IT. THIS DR/LADY SAID THIS RUNS ON HER ENTIRE FAMILY LINE... THAT IS CALLED A GENERATIONAL CURSE... AND IT CAN BE BROKEN

@raek8940 11 месяцев назад

Thank you

@yeseniarodriguez2371 2 года назад

Thank you. This is great. I will change to be happy. My husband has been a alcoholic for 15 years. Doesn't want to quit. Its getting worse everytime. He has gone to AA grupos and only helped him for 6 months. And again down hill. I feel nervous when his drunk and yells. His eyes are like Dimon eyes. With an evil eye. Thank you. I will change for me, myself.

@ShamelesslyLame Год назад

my husband doesn't want to quit also, he has a lot of beers in the outside refrigerator, i want to throw it away, he will get very mad.

@Mari-he7gy Год назад

@@ShamelesslyLame same with me. I feel you, it's hard to live a life with an alcoholic husband. Sending love to you all. Be strong and take care of yourself.

@sunflower5741 Год назад

My husband's eyes too are very demonic when he gets back from the bar. I'm tired of talking to him bc he doesn't hear a thing I say so I'm praying for peace in my heart at this time. Ik how you feel, it makes me sad bc I just a good family life

@brittneer8940 Год назад

Prayers for you. So sorry you have go through that. I’m in a very similar boat and it’s killing me 😢

@glowieokenney7915 4 месяца назад

Same!!!!! It’s demonic!!!!

@tham1353 Месяц назад

Trouble is, if it’s your spouse that discomfort will fall on you too. Either financially or socially. The. Anger and lies for me were the hardest to cope with. I eventually left because I loved him to much to continue to enable him, which is what I was doing to try and avoid the anger etc. and because even when I stopped he would use me in his lies to borrow money from others or avoid accountability, impossible and very painful situation. We are now divorced I divorced him and I wish I knew what I do now before it got so bad. I wish him healing from afar but concentrate on my own now.

@lorimogan4983 5 месяцев назад

I just hate that my husband drinks 6 or more beers every day. He thinks our marriage causes him to drink. It so upsetting. I can see our marriage is at risk we don’t talk no intimacy because I have such resentment

@billiejoburke8237 Месяц назад

This is my situation. Very sad, we could be such a great couple if he did not drink.

@marietrud5294 2 года назад

Hi Karen, thank you really much for the video. I don’t know if my spouse is alcoholic, but he drinks since he’s 14, now he’s 33. He doesn’t drink every day but quite often and as you said, he has trouble to stop himself every time so… and the day after he drank his liver becomes so sick he cannot work, eat or even walk because he’s vomiting all the time and so weak. Even after being afraid he would die, he denies it’s the alcohol and says it’s probably something he ate or whatever else… we have a baby, he keeps saying he’s not an alcoholic that he just love to drink it helps him with his anger and so and so. I mean I don’t know I kind of think he is though and if alcoholic is not the good word, there is still a problem with the alcohol. Anyway, thank you again and if you or other people can read me, may God the Almighty help us, amen.

@TreeHouseRecovery 2 года назад

Watching someone struggle who refuses help is difficult. Especially alone. If you want some help let us know. 855) 274-1040

@Rckstrroma5 Год назад

That’s how I feel also

@Blackronin357 Год назад

Binge drinking like that is very common. That said, everyone is different in how they metabolize alcohol and their actions after. I was like your SO and would get low alcohol poisoning the day after and need to hydrate if working or take the day off. I've gotten over my issue by lowering how much I drink and listening to my tell tale signs, headaches and frequent bathroom breaks. My SO is going thru it and it's worse than my previous issue were she gets black out drunk cuz she's home. But she's starting earlier during her work shift so it's affecting that. I just, don't know how to start the process to get her in rehab.

@sandralutz6991 3 месяца назад

Thank you so much for this video! I am tired of being the codependent wife and now mother, fixer upper!!! i am finding out that that is a handicap for the addict and I think I am making everything ok but my actions are bandades and I am falling into a deep depression feeling useless and hopeless. I am seeking help for me now. .

@MonicaRodriguez-kv3bf Месяц назад

I’ve recently stated a kickboxing class for my own mental health. I’m not kidding today I felt like crying when I was beating the crap out of the bag. It felt like all my stress and angry was coming out. I’m starting to take care of myself. I’ve done everything I can for this man. My own mental and physical health started deteriorating. I don’t want to be depressed and anxious anymore. I’m trying to get to stronger place now. I’m starting to Focus more on God than the addiction. Prayer is helping me even in the hardest times. I dropped down to my knees and cry to God. It’s giving me peace. Which is all I want at this point. It’s crazy but it’s almost like they need help and so do we. I’m sorry all of your are dealing with the same thing I am. Please take care of yourself. God bless everyone.

@lindaruss3772 3 месяца назад

Great advice. Unfortunately it doesn’t work anymore than trying to make them stop. “Oh, ok yelling and threatening doesn’t work? I’ll try to fix myself, cause now it’s that mentality that it’s my fault. If they LOVE drinking/drugs, NOTHING will work.

@KrishasAngels Год назад

I don't know what to do anymore. It seems hopeless. I can't take this anymore. 😥

@TreeHouseRecovery Год назад

Call use. We can help. You don't have to do this alone. (855) 202-2138

@brittneer8940 Год назад

I feel that way as well. I’m so sorry here to talk if you need support.

@jess21568 8 месяцев назад

I will pray for you. Jesus is always here and will heal your broken heart ❤

@missislaughter8 9 месяцев назад

Wished u had in Houston

@LisaThomasVerde 2 года назад

You can never get a spouse who you want to stop drinking to stop drinking. EVER.

@oldladywithcats206 Год назад

My husband has no desire to stop drinking. He drinks every other day. Drinks 10 beers each time. He has had a stroke, which hasn't charged his lifestyle at all. When drunk, his walking is very bad. He's fallen several times. I am embarrassed for him and I know I shouldn't shoulder that. I love him but dang, I am so tired of this.

@vishnus2646 Год назад

What you did then ? What is the condition now ?

@collinr811 4 месяца назад

The hard part for me is that the alcoholic is supposedly suffering when they are sober. They say in AA "some people are UNABLE to quit drinking." It seems like a mental condition so turning your back on them is hard.

@Jack-il3qv 3 месяца назад

'They kept telling me to change. Nobody ever told me how hard and how lonely it is to change.' - Woman.

@lightofall 2 года назад

Jeez we are on the same road. I'm an acoa too and lost 4 people to addiction

@kandikaneart Год назад

I’m watching this video for my dad. He is never physical but is an angry drunk. He goes through so much to keep this family out of debt so every afternoon he feels he needs to “wind down” meaning drink till he blacks out. I love him so much but I know before I even have my own kids I’ll be watching him on his death bed bc I didn’t have the courage to try to get him help. I feel no matter what I will say he will say “your mother told you to say this” but it’s not true. I just want him to quit because I don’t want to see my father die. If anyone has advice for me please let me know. 💔

@anicholeRL9861 Год назад

@KandiKane Sweetheart, you have to remember that this isn’t your fault. You are not to blame. You are his child. It isn’t your responsibility to make him stop. You cannot allow yourself to take on that level of guilt. It is hard, as the child, to remember this because you feel like you are enabling him, but YOU are not responsible for his choices or actions. My mother passed away 4.5 years ago due to the consequences of her daily drinking and prescription drug abuse. It all worked together to ruin her liver and she ruptured inside. It was very traumatic for me, especially after decades of dealing with her and her self sabotage. I’m still in therapy and counseling for it - and that has helped me tremendously. My mom’s choices and actions were her coping mechanism to her own lifetime of pain. It wasn’t caused by ME. It didn’t continue to take place because of ME. I was innocent and just trying to navigate through the life I was dealt. But God brought me through it. Now I have my own issues and choices to sort out for my own health - but I know that I have the power to stop that generational curse with me. It can end with me. Doesn’t have to continue. My kids don’t have to witness me in the same way I witnessed my mom. It can end. Your family may not be dealing with a generational curse, but either way, you can be the light in this situation. Stay strong and remember that he is still in charge of himself. Yes he has pain and is trying to cope, but he is still responsible for himself. This isn’t your fault and won’t ever be your fault. You aren’t to blame. You are an innocent part of the situation. Praying for you through this.

@anicholeRL9861 Год назад

@KandiKane If you were to try to get some help for him - maybe start by telling him that it pains you to see him make the choices that he makes. That you are having a harder time dealing with it and are seeking help for yourself. Maybe counseling or something like that. Make sure to not lay on the guilt onto him but plant that seed in him that you are not handling his choices well and that you are seeking help for yourself. Then maybe after some time encourage him to attend counseling himself. Something easy and sensible- that he could do for you and for himself too. Maybe go together? Men tend to handle stress exactly how your dad is handling it. They get depressed and have anxiety and turn to alcohol or drugs. But if he can start with baby steps and choose to do it for himself and for you, that would be a great step in the right direction. Life is hard and supporting a family to avoid debt is very hard. But there are supportive groups out there and help. Maybe consider calling this Tree House group for advice. See what help is out there that may apply to your situation.

@rejinarai6129 6 месяцев назад

I have same problem 😔 Even my father is single father.I was raised by single father.As time passes Alcohol is making him worse and worse 😢😢 please can you give me some advice?

@pammietime4495 5 месяцев назад

Sadly you cannot change someone no matter who you are no matter how much you love them and they love you UNLESS THEYYYY WANT TO CHANGE.Very hard part of life.@@rejinarai6129

@ShamelesslyLame Год назад

i've been running people out off my house recently, he doesn't like , also is affecting my job, i've been calling in sick because i can't sleep worrying of him, i'm already tired, i already talked to him about quiting alcohol he said he's not ready, when he's sober, his fine, but when hes intoxicated he has bad attitude, i don't know what to do, and he's about to retire from working, he's 63.. and thanks for the video

@user-pr5pz3mk2m Месяц назад

Yes do he work.

@ernestoxavierchauque6005 Год назад

There is only two ways to change. One is death, and the second is accepting Jesus Christ as a Lord and savior. I have chosen the second option and I will follow it accordingly. I am also alcohol addicted trying to show others the way.

@Ladee_tee Год назад

I've cried. I've begged. I have even gotten angry, and he still drinks from sun up to sun down! He's angry when he is drunk, and I may have to walk away, but I love him and just want him to get help!

@TreeHouseRecovery Год назад

You should call us today. We can definitely help you and your husband. If you would like to speak directly with Karen, please reach out so we can coordinate with you. She can guide you. That’s her specialty. 855-202-2138

@peggytravels793 Год назад

He has to want to stop drinking for himself not for you. There is a great book, you should be able to find in your local library, “If You Loved Me, You’d Stop” by Lisa Frederiksen. The airlines tell you to put on your own oxygen mask first before helping anyone else. Yes, you may have to walk away and your heart will break but there can be another sane life for you without dealing with his anger and drinking. Best of luck. I walked out of a 47 year marriage and was scared to death but I have found peace and happiness.

@brittneer8940 Год назад

@@peggytravels793very inspiring thank you for sharing.

@charleylyons6090 28 дней назад

I must be the exception. I spent 35 years trying to drown away the memories of childhood Trauma. I am currently 1.5 years without alcohol. It does make me sad to hear the overwhelming consensus, coming from addiction specialists and or family court lawyers, "They will never stop". So much doubt. The subject of "Alcoholism" needs a fresh light. For too long now, imo, referring to Alcoholism as a disease is flat wrong. It is an addiction to temporary relief from shame and guilt. I am 47 and suffer with C-PTSD due to toxic family systems of neglect, abandonment, complete disregard for my education ect. "Perfect 10 score from A.C.E.S. I am happy to say that I suffer no longer from attempting to hide behind alcohol but the most important fact is that I HAVE NO DESIRE. Just tonight, I have decided to write a book to tell my story and am considering becoming an addiction therapist or supporting role (too old for new career?) If your loved one struggles with alcohol, I sympathize for all parties involved but for the "alcoholic", IT IS IMPERATIVE (SOMEHOW) TO REACH DEEP DOWN INSIDE AND FACE YOURSELF!!

@Kmoney1960 Год назад

I’ve tried everything I’ve been with my boyfriend a year and I don’t know what to do anymore but I love him to death

@bm-tp6ce Год назад

Dear dear, please get as much education as you can, because one year is all u had with him, will become 20 faster than u can imagine!!! WE CANNOT CHANGE people!!! Build your self esteem , you deserve the best . Alcohol is a nightmare bondage. I've been in it my whole life. Ruined. I want better for u!! God bless u!

@thesevenkingswelove9554 11 месяцев назад

Break up.. That's what I suggest

@berthawilson4337 10 месяцев назад

Tell me how I can change. I have been suffering for about 25 years with my husband. He has cut down about 2 years ago because his health. What do I do differently? I am tired of yelling and fighting.

@berthawilson4337 10 месяцев назад

After his recent heart bypass , his doctor told him he can drink wine to relax. But he drinks more than one or 2 now. I am very worried and upset. He says I can't dictate him what he should or shouldn't do. I need help.

@AJLove779 Год назад

This isn't easy at all. My boyfriend is a functional alcoholic and I didn't realize it for years that he had a problem until my mom smelled his breath at church and mentioned it to me... another time he had just gotten off work 10:30 am and came to my house drunk and again my mom was with me and I then realized he had a serious problem. We broken up a couple of times (he cheated and he's a lier) and we're now back together and I'm ready to give up on him. I hate the smell of his breath, sometimes I hate to get intimate with him because he's the only one getting the pleasure. If I say no, it turns to a hollering match. He's a good guy when he's not drinking but I can't help him know matter what I say. My son's no longer care for him so, now they don't come around and this hurts.

@chloedoesshit2659 11 месяцев назад

i’m sorry but you either need to have a serious conversation with him or break up

@thesevenkingswelove9554 11 месяцев назад

Just break up.. He's your bf anyways not your husband.. Trust me these people need professional help they won't change because of you

@pammietime4495 5 месяцев назад

Hopefully you've left him by now especially for your sons sake.Very hard to live with an alcoholic that won't change.

@AJLove779 5 месяцев назад

Yesssss, praise God he gone! Absolutely no CONTACT....

@chanel123ful 2 года назад

Thank you for this video , I don’t want to become a nagging wife, but I really want him to stop drinking so much

@TreeHouseRecovery 2 года назад

Is he open to getting help?

@chanel123ful 2 года назад

Yes we agreed he will drink only on the weekends , I’m fine with that

@TreeHouseRecovery 2 года назад

@@chanel123ful Do you believe he's an alcoholic? When alcoholics try to limit drinking normally they either begin drinking in secret or when they do drink, they drink much more than they used to. If you want help let us know 855) 274-1040

@chanel123ful 2 года назад

@@TreeHouseRecovery you’re right he was doing good , until I went out with my friends he snuck to the liquor store . It’s like I have to baby sit him

@TreeHouseRecovery 2 года назад

@@chanel123ful Im sorry to hear that. For what's it's worth if he's an alcoholic he probably meant it when he promised you he would limit his drinking. And he very likely feels ashamed now for breaking that promise. The problem is that no alcoholic can keep that promise. One of the symptoms of alcoholism is a failure to limit or quit drinking. For people with alcoholism, drinking is like a compulsion they feel. Somewhat similar to the urge to wash your hands when they feel dirty or drink water when you're thirsty. Promising someone you won't do it isn't going to make that need you feel go away. He needs to stop drinking altogether and he might need a program to help him to do that. I don't mean to be rude but there is nothing YOU can do to help him limit it. If you want to learn more take a look at some of our videos on codependency ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-7Iy9RlAr_iw.html ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-T4Rpodcz-lg.html

@marinaquinones5130 2 месяца назад

With my husband, you’d never be able to tell if he’s tipsy or not. He has 2-3 10% alcohol tall boys a day but he doesn’t act different. Sometimes he gets a little harsh in how he responds to things (not really harsh with me) but his opinions and the way he criticizes people gets more intense. He hates his drinking, he feels like he’s failing me and himself all the time but he’s allergic to weed so he can’t smoke weed so he drinks. So he feels it’s the only vice he can have that truly helps him relax. I want him to stop, he wants to stop, but doesn’t know how.

@preciouschinonye3021 2 года назад

What change exactly pls ma bks my husband is pissing me off

@sunflowerzelda45 2 года назад

so if my aches and pains are not from chronic Lyme disease, but from my codependence in thinking about my son's problems. Should realizing I had this codependence issue did learn to say No, Did learn it is not my fault. Did learn son seems to have no bottom to ask for treatment. Jail, yes, Grandmother is still helping so all my No's are canceled out as for his bottom.. hmm.. Not sure how to make myself better. Any ideas?

@TreeHouseRecovery 2 года назад

Give us a call. We are here to help.

@gloriaakers5550 8 месяцев назад

I'm an alcoholic as well and to see that i have to fight with that snake alcohol everyday. Looking at it in the fridge. While he can do the shots of whiskey and drink his beer and whatever else he does. I can't be home. I have to go to AA or NA or any place else besides my own home in order to save my sobriety. That's no way a mother should live with her 2 daughters. If i was my daughter I wouldn't tolerate her being with a man like that. He gets high too. For my safety i have to let him know if you love me we would be doing this together being on the same page and if we are not going to then it will never work. I fell into the same situation as my ex except the ex did meth, weed and drank and sure enough so did i. He still on the streets meth out. I been clean since 2015 but i went to alcohol. I needed to share this for some reason.

@jeannnie8636 Год назад

That’s what I have a problem with my husband thinks he has the Right to drink drink when he wants to

@KissMyAxe26 Год назад

Am 40 , indian ,no money no life drunk all day how can you help me

@scottriddell5501 Год назад

Like the husband bit what about all the guys that live with a drunk wife or partner

@kdlofty Год назад

Bloody hell, I thought it was Delia Smith for a moment!

@billmoore1936 Год назад

The best way I think is taking to him tell him the facts of life about drinking of it can cause by shorting is life spending money that you have got I have been sober for going 6 years and is fantastic way of life Bill

@brocklanders6011 Год назад

Karen, I need help

@TreeHouseRecovery Год назад

Give us a call. We can help. 855) 274-1040

@jennyrosd2003 9 месяцев назад

Yip....let them travel their ragged path . Dont give a hand , dont shine a light, dont give a clue ...focus on yourself and go for goals on your own. Stay positive. Stay somewhat unavailable .

@MsBTmom 2 года назад

I'm 62 I have COPD and can t work and I don't qualify for disability. Insurance is through his job. I can count my meds and would know how many days I would have left if he is fired tomorrow. Today its nine. My family is all dead, he's the only one I have. I have no car, no bank account, no kids, no church (don't want one if those) no access therapy. Are there any resources for someone like me?

@rhondarundle9979 Год назад

You should qualify for disability. COPD is a physical disability. Get a disability attorney and start the process now. If you see a medical doctor for COPD get them to help you. You can apply for food stamps with your situation as well. Get happy, find peace through God, he loves you and wants to help.

@sanchalikapaul Год назад

Karen i need help..frm india

@TreeHouseRecovery Год назад

Give us a call. We can do video sessions

@sanchalikapaul Год назад

@@TreeHouseRecovery ur number please

@TreeHouseRecovery Год назад

@@sanchalikapaul call anytime. 855-202-2138

@derricke3647 Год назад

PRAISE God respected sister we lucy devaraj lucydevaraj and children bangalore have prayer requests for our husband and father who is addicted to Alcohol drinking we have to take him to doctor for medical check up so kindly uphold in prayers tq so much be blessed be safe psl 91 prayer requesting lucydevaraj and children

@azukarzuchastux8066 2 года назад

Romans 10:13 “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

@terintiaflavius3349 2 года назад

I did this and he still drinks

@lorainefleeman6011 2 года назад

Same. I left. He was homeless, on the streets. Apparently that's fun, because he still drinks.

@Macck.fitz.22 2 года назад

@@lorainefleeman6011 addiction is really bad 😓

@rustyfootwork 2 года назад

This more than likely won’t work, sounds more like a way to leave that person

@lowellmatias8504 Год назад

I'm really worried I won't get my boyfriend back

@peterlyons8793 Год назад

@@sarahmadulah826 I'm surprised he comes at all.

@predragbalorda 10 месяцев назад

He?

@ParisC-us4hx 9 месяцев назад

Great info, these are some good reminders, part of increasing your mental clarity and boosting your drive, comes with quitting. Yes, there are many ways to quit, Steffon Barkload's Quit Drinking Forever is what worked for me, best shortcut I go’ogled that took days to make me dislike the juice 100%

@pokerqAK47 2 года назад

I mean. 3 sons with addiction. I’m sorry lady but no. I don’t wanna change, I don’t drink, I’m not even with him when he drinks. I’ll just leave. That’s a much better option.

@unknow1786 8 месяцев назад

Ce păcat că NU exista subtritari in limba Romana 😢🤔????????

@scottbrown7071 2 месяца назад

You don’t. 😢

@nana_ritha661 4 месяца назад

Guys it's my mom drinking wat can I do then

@Pizzageek-jc4xp 2 месяца назад

You have to live your own life. Your mom is like anybody else who drinks, she won't stop unless she wants to. and you won't make her want to stop. I recommend Smart Recovery, they have zoom meetings for family and friends of loved ones who use.

@__str Месяц назад

What kind of mom is she if she can't think about her children? You can't do anything.

@larry1824 4 месяца назад

You cant. He has to make the discovery. Only he can diagnose this disease

@swativerma961 5 месяцев назад

This did not work in my case. The moment he gets abusive after me going silent and just focusing on my self, I give up as I need peace :(

@polarbearsrus6980 5 месяцев назад

You need help, please seek counseling.

@ravet3254 Год назад

You blithered on for 5 minutes. Said nothing. Do I walk out room after 2 glass or after first bottle of booze?

@TreeHouseRecovery Год назад

What you do is get into therapy and develop the skills needed to successfully navigate difficult situations and relationships. You may also find value in joining a support group like alanon. Call us anytime.

@lucilledaub5991 9 месяцев назад

They have to hit bottom before they’ll admit they have a problem.

@petelavecchia2968 Год назад

He?? What about ? She? Or

@TreeHouseRecovery Год назад

I don’t understand what you are asking. Please ask questions in sentence format.

@CS-yn2wg Год назад

The video is a tool for wives who’s husbands drink too much. It’s pretty self explanatory.

@metricdeep8856 Год назад

Wait...I missed the secret part. Can you repeat it please for those who want the secret you claim to offer. Or is this just an add? Lying would be what we are used to...

@TreeHouseRecovery Год назад

Thanks for your comment. Replay the video if you want to hear what she said again.

@metricdeep8856 Год назад

@@TreeHouseRecovery Right...So where exactly is the secret?