Could you share your story of “chopped away night over visits”? That’s exactly what I’m trying to do but opposite keeps happening: he keeps being successful getting more nights over. I’d appreciate your sharing!
"they only see them as weapons"....yes. The term here was "the kids are just collateral damage and they are resilient and will be fine", so he feels he can say and do whatever he wants with the goal of hurting me.
Curious. Does your ex have a diagnosis? He sounds exactly like my child’s father who have an Antisocial Personality. He does this all the time. Told my son during exchange about 15 metres from me to ask mom if he can bring a puppy home. At 10 years old my son already sees for the most part what’s happening and it’s backfired on dad damaging his relationship rather than mine. At 4 years old, he came home saying dad showed a video of dad crying and told him he’s so sad and needs my son to go live with him. The psychological abuse is never ending. I believe his hatred towards me for leaving and “taking all his power away” massively outweighs any care for our child. I gravely worry about the day he realizes he cannot turn our son against me because at that point he’ll no longer have value. Despite it happening in these cases, my legitimate concern is dismissed as anxiety.
Can you tell me if what I repeat to my toddler is correct, and/or how I could modify it to be better? : "Dad has big emotions that he has trouble dealing with. You are not responsible, nor should you feel guilty for his big feelings. You are safe with me. I love you forever, more than anything, and whatever you do or happens."
Now imagine your parenting time shares were reversed. How long would your small daughters have been able to withstand that kind of emotional pressure to reject you as a parent? You really think that induced parental alienation is not real? I really love your OMB movement and have learned a lot from your book. But the rejection of PAS really surprised me, given the manipulation that you observed on the part of your kid's father.
That terminology was created by a pedophile and belongs to the fathers rights movement, I would personally never use it and I would focus on patterns of behavior because anyone can throw out that word and the majority of the time it’s used as a legal strategy and not an actual occurrence
@One Mom's Battle with Tina Swithin A cluster B disordered parent uses psychological manipulation to turn their children against the other parent. It is an extremely toxic family dynamic and profoundly damaging to the children. All children deserve to receive love from BOTH of their parents.
@One Mom's Battle with Tina Swithin Throughout my personal divorce journey I've met multiple parents (both men and women) who are seeing their children suffer under the emotional manipulation done by one parent against the other. PAS may have been initially conceived by a troubled individual and there seem to be methodical problems with the original research, but it has been adopted by responsible researchers (e.g. Richard Warshak), so I don't think the "junk science" argument is entirely appropriate. It's a shame that the topic is being politicized so much, be it from the "mom's rights" or "dad's rights" camp. In the end, the most important perspective is lost, which is the emotional and psychological health of our children.
@Karen Aubin couldn't agree more! Professionals need to be more aware of red flags of toxic parental behavior. But it can be quite hard to identify, and often requires constant and long-term attention, which "the system" doesn't seem to be able to provide today.
@@harremsis I recommend reading Child and Adolescent Social Work Journal (2019) 36:351-363, Examining Parental Alienation Treatments: Problems of Principles and Practices by Jean Mercer and JOURNAL OF CHILD CUSTODY 2016, VOL. 13, NOS. 2-3, (6 articles total to read). I especially suggest: Recommended Treatments for “Parental Alienation Syndrome” (PAS) May Cause Children Foreseeable and Lasting Psychological Harm by Stephanie Dallama and Joyanna L. Silberg (page 24 or 134 depending on how you look at it).
