Thank you, Samuel. I know it’s a strange situation right now but I do miss your personal anecdotes and experiences and hearing about your actual experiences. I think they are still very valuable even though you’re divorcing. Much love and support!!
difficult to forgive when only sketchy admission has occurred leaving so many unanswered questions and casting dark cloud over entire past of relationship. If this makes any sense as I see it opening door to this destructive entitlement.
I'm the guy that confessed in staggered waves. It was grueling for both of us. For my wife, it was a matter of "just get it all out already!" For me, it was "if you knew everything about me, how broken I am, you would surely reject me." My wife was right and I was wrong. I beg unfaithful spouses to rip the Bandaid off and get it all out. So difficult, but there is so much freedom in total confession. Sin's power is in secrecy. God's healing power begins when everything is brought into the light.
@@daveclinton4945 Amen. As a betrayed with a spouse who stonewalls I had only myself to work on. Still at it, stops and starts almost three years on...but, so much good has come of it. Less anger, better father...I mostly quit worrying about her affair. It's something she wants to keep from dealing with so I have to move on to what I can deal with - myself.
My wife and I are in between separated and reconciliation. I am living at home, but separate rooms. She considers herself single, but we do have tender moments. It's today's topic that plagues our advancement in recovery.
I did that I blamed my affairs on situations involving my wife. I made up a fantasy world and believed in lies that the world was telling me. I used to make myself believe that I deserve more. So instead of sticking it out and being a good husband I had affairs. And I also used to use God to portray myself as an innocent holy man. I left my beautiful wife in the sidelines waiting for me and I was just not there. Trying to get over the wreckage that I've done.
@overcominginfidelity this one hits home for sure. I've heard this. Yet...when 2020 is fully deconstructed... it's ME & the kids who had the horrible year. So stressful in every way. Very unfair 😭 Makes me bitter
What if you partner won’t do things to make you feel safe? Says they do but you see behavior that indicates they are not doing enough? Or does not understand if you flood if they make a mistake? Eventually I feel like I must say I need to go.
Watch their actions. If they are not taking action to help you feel safe every day, their words are meaningless. Have you done marriage counseling? Individual counseling?
Im so sorry you are going through this. I feel for you sis. Do you feel he’s truly remorseful or just guilty? If you aren’t sure of the difference between the two, I encourage you to seek understanding of the differences. You will know when you have had enough, but if you aren’t already find support and expert help.
@@samshealingpodcast I seriously tired of my unfaithful husband. He doesn't want to get any help. He keep crying and scream sometimes out of depression. I forgive him but he didn't make any action to make anything better
Do u think moving into a new relationship is valid for a destructive entitled person, if they dont recognize their behaviors, or allow you to respond to tge pain they have caused. They pretend to respect your boundaries and expect respect from the faithful spouse, yet don't allow any further discussion of the hurt. I'm trying really hard to move forward even if it isn't together just on a better note.
Sam, brother, thank you for everything that you do, this really hits home. Unfortunately for me and my spouse its too late, hurts like hell but I had put a boundary to my wife about what she wanted me to do and I knew will not help our marriage and our recovery. Sadly, she did not see what I saw it. Was I wrong to do so? Putting my foot down and say NO I will not do something that I know it will not help? Its been almost 4 years since D-day, and I am the wayward spouse. We got general help, there is no experts here in the PH.
That is destructive entitlement as described in the video. You dont decide when enough is enough. You caused a terrible trauma for your wife that may take years and years to recover from. Where is the change in you that you still don’t understand what you did and have enough empathy and compassion for how your wife feels . She stuck with you for 4 years in hopes you would do the right thing. I guess you showed her. Good luck.
Exactly @kerjo. Perfect example of entitlement. AR program and therapists talk repeatedly about the unfaithful needing to show a willingness to “do whatever it takes” to repair the damage they did to the marriage. I guess.@joseb3428 didn’t get that memo. You don’t get to decide what helps her heal.
