How I Deal With LUXURY JUDGEMENT; HATERS, JEALOUSY & BITTERNESS.

Sophie Shohet | Fashion Beauty Lifestyle

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A chatty video on the psychology behind jealousy, as well as my top 4 tips on how to handle jealousy from family, friends, colleagues AND your boss! Jealousy can be over your interest in luxury, but it can also be over your job, car, family, relationship, your home...
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Опубликовано:

9 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 256

@SkyLondon-yv2zb Месяц назад

I found out in life that people don’t want you to have good things,but is ok for them to have it.

@SophieShohetOfficial Месяц назад

Too true!!xx

@deborahcurtis1385 Месяц назад

They don't want you to jump out of your designated lane!

@wendyclcl Месяц назад

So true. After me losing 80 pounds, my skinny relative once told me she preferred the old me.

@danishpastry6137 Месяц назад

My best mate has much more ov a high flying career than I do, it doesn't bother me in the slightest - I'm always happy for the promotions and advances she's made, she's worked hard for them. Her husband is also at the top of his game, both have a pretty good income. They decided to treat themselves to a couple of really nice watches (he'd been lusting after one for as long as I've known him), they got comments mainly from family wondering why they were spending so much money on a watch. A few years ago, my mate decided she wasn't going any further in her job and got herself a better job in a different section of the company, partly based in the town she lives in, partly based in a big city in the neighbouring country. Again, there were comments from her family (my only thought was if the travelling was sustainable long term, but other than that I was really happy for her. I never voiced my concerns as I knew it was what she wanted. My worries were unfounded, and that's great). She since been promoted, again same type of comments. Some of it is undoubtedly envy, but some possibly isn't. It comes across as wanting to put others down by one person in particular. This person makes it obvious, at family gatherings that he's there under sufferance, it's like there's a bad smell under his nose. The only reason he might be envious is that my mate got there under her own steam while he got there because his father started the business, and he's the one who has to take over.

@julijakeit Месяц назад

yes, the world is full of hypocrites. and envy. that's why it's important to have both money and spirituality in balance and stay away from people who show signs of envy and hypocrisy.

@Shannonobsessions Месяц назад

“People want to see you do well, just not better than them”

@annmariemerlino3102 Месяц назад

Ooooooooooooo! Goood one!

@annamari545 Месяц назад

When I got my first well paying job I lost my “best friend”. I took her out on an expensive birthday dinner (hers), she asked me about my salary. I hesitated but told myself that she was my friend and she would be happy for me. As soon as I saw the look on her face, I knew she wasn’t my friend any more. I found better friends.

@SophieShohetOfficial Месяц назад

@@annamari545 I’m sorry this happened to you, awful 😞 xx

@annamari545 Месяц назад

@@SophieShohetOfficial I’m not. Replaced one toxic friend with many genuine ones. On the long run, it was a happy outcome. Thanks for sharing your experiences in the video. 😃

@DD-ln5no Месяц назад

Who asks someone about their salary?? Hell, I haven't even asked my siblings about their specific incomes. Really sad

@kokabr Месяц назад

A family friend was jealous of me simply because I had my own business. I wasn't even making much money from my business at the time. A few years later, she asked me to provide career services to her relative who was having a hard time finding a job, and I did. When he got a job through my career service within only a few months, instead of thanking me, she started hating on me. It was strange.

@angiloves 23 дня назад

Omg I'm so sorry I don't know if I could recover from that my besties is like a sister for over 30 years

@Jason-ml3vs Месяц назад

A few things will show you who your real, true friends are. Success, failure and illness.

@SophieShohetOfficial Месяц назад

@@Jason-ml3vs Very true!xx

@suzannehall5200 28 дней назад

That is so true. I have had chronic fatigue syndrome for many years and early on there were people in my life who just would not understand what I was going through. I was constantly asked why I wasn’t better yet as if I was doing it for my own amusement, or I was also told it was in my head and to get over it. I figured out that what it came down to was that I was inconveniencing them and they had to go. Life has been a lot easier since I detoxed those people and concentrated on looking after myself and keeping my friends who are understanding and supportive.

@marzialovingliving4847 27 дней назад

That's why I had so many friends but I don't have friends anymore and I don't miss them😅

@Pinkbear20 Месяц назад

I have this problem with my family members. I am single, childfree, and in my 40s. I am the only female on both sides of my family who does not have children. I have 2 master's degrees and I am almost finished with my doctorate degree. I get comments and jealous behaviors from both sides. One person said, you don't even at least want a pet. On the otherside, I had a family member who had a meltdown when she found out I was working on my doctorate degree. Growing up people would call me stupid and they didn't expect much from me. Once I was playing a game with so called friends and I got paired with someone and they said they didn't want me on their team because I was stupid. While everyone spent time on relationships and raising children I spent that time on my career and education. I own my own house, drive a sports car, and have my advanced education.

@jordane8526 Месяц назад

Hehehehehheee

@deborahcurtis1385 Месяц назад

Good for you!!!!

@sherry5926 Месяц назад

Picture the envious glances directed my way: good taste in designs, married, two children, a successful career, a doctorate, a spacious house, and a supportive partner. I am afraid of even leaving a comment here. I’ll admit, it was 70% hard work and 30% luck. Yet, today, my entire day revolves around apologizing for things I never did or misunderstandings. Saying sorry is simpler than causing further upset. I’m expected to love my children but avoid discussing them openly, to assert authority without being labeled as bossy. Sometimes, we find fulfillment in other aspects of work, and quitting would be a shame. Instead, l often take the high road, allow others to get what they need, apologize for any discomfort caused, and move forward. I lead my team with courage, vulnerability and sincerity. Tough road ahead in my career, but I won't quit.

@deborahcurtis1385 Месяц назад

@@sherry5926 Good for you @sherry5926!!!

@graceho7845 Месяц назад

@@Pinkbear20 it’s called jealousy. It’s in everyone’s gene. I ignore people who are not worth my time and I don’t feel like I owe anyone any explanation why I am where I am, and they are not. We are living in different world, and chasing different goals.

@lizniland1428 Месяц назад

I worked 7 days a week for about a year to buy myself a designer bag. I was so proud of it and I was in work one day and a co-worker asked if it was fake! I quickly told her the only thing I ever fake is my tan! Fashion comes and goes style and humour last forever.

@cherisemoss7854 Месяц назад

You also DETOXED your "friends". It opened the space for quality people who will respect and support YOUR life choices.

@SophieShohetOfficial Месяц назад

@@cherisemoss7854 a very good point! Yes, now you mention it, it absolutely opened the door to meeting great new people! Hugs to you xx🩷

@veronicavenditti3614 Месяц назад

Sorry, but this seems a little too optimistic to me (and I speak from personal experience). It's certainly good to get rid of toxic people, but let's not tell ourselves that this opens the doors to wonderful encounters. The doors just close, nothing good happened to me after that. Sorry for the bitter tone, but it's (my) reality.

@lilylillux Месяц назад

But it's not over yet. We attract people with the same energy, so be positive. ❤

@danielintheantipodes6741 Месяц назад

@@veronicavenditti3614I am sorry this has happened to you. I eventually met new people but it did take a long time.

@cynthiag1557 Месяц назад

I grew up extremely poor in Appalachia, my family had no wealth or money, and I lost weight, set out to become a producer, and acheived success in both weight loss and my career, and mind you this has been a thing for about 7 years now and I still have people from my hometown badmouthing me for just existing and doing better for myself. It makes me sad because I've known these people since I was a baby, but honestly I pity them now because if they just worked really hard and found what they are good at, they'd be able to get out too.

@suzannehall5200 28 дней назад

I understand that problem only too well. A lot of people don’t like it when you work hard, level up and better yourself. It’s a continuation of the old 19th century saying, “you’re getting above yourself my girl.” I used to get it too, especially from some extended family members. It’s not you, it’s them. They could get off their arses and level up too but it’s easier to envy others for doing it instead. Take no notice of them and keep on your path. Your life can only get better.

@Olovoll Месяц назад

The truly saddest part is when siblings and close family cannot be happy for you and judge you. I’ve seen siblings fall out so many time because of the success of one and not the other. Great video and lesson for all of us.

@Mistersgoodgirl Месяц назад

I worked at a small company in my 20s and the owner was my boss. He was quite wealthy and loved to flaunt it in ways that turned people off. BUT he also liked it when his employees had and wore nice things. He viewed it as a flex. “See how good my employees have it? That’s bc the company is so successful that I can afford to pay them well enough that they can afford it.” He was a very thoughtful guy and did pay well bc he cared about us and that we be able to support our families. I mean, not crazy pay but above average for the industry. He was generous with gifts at the holidays and loved sharing what he had. He was a fun guy, obnoxious quirks as all.

@kellygrace1617 Месяц назад

I used to be a hater, then discovered my self worth and now, catch it when I feel envious of others and remind myself of all the wonderful things I have, have accomplished and the genuine connections I have. There truly is enough for everyone. Just because someone has achieved more than me in some area, doesn't mean they are better than me. It just means we are different. I am genuinely grateful that I don't feel inadequate any more. PS You are adorable and I love, love, love handbags. So love your content.

@DD-ln5no Месяц назад

Great introspection

@julijakeit Месяц назад

i am proud of you! wanting something others have is natural, it's how we deal with that want is what defines us: some people try to sabotage, others gossip, someone else may get inspired and achieve even more.

@suzannehall5200 28 дней назад

You are to be applauded for your self awareness and initiative. Good for you.

@mellyholly Месяц назад

Starting a new job on Monday, I’ve decided I’ll use my longchamp bag and not wear anything designer-ish. My last job I got the comments and the old manager would make underhand comments about me. I’ve learnt so much now moving forwards, I want to stay under the radar, I don’t want people to know much about my life outside of work. Thanks Sophie for a great video!

@BrendaBaBoom Месяц назад

Sometimes I turn my designer bag backwards to stay under the radar as well. 👜

@SophieShohetOfficial Месяц назад

Congratulations on your new job my friend! 🙌I hope you love it xx🩷🩷

@literallyheather Месяц назад

Yes, some people are jealous and bitter when you succeed. And yes, there are also people who completely lack self-awareness and modesty as they become more successful.

@FromAshes444 Месяц назад

I recently detached from a “friend” who did both.

@lindacgrace2973 Месяц назад

TRUE! I lost over 200 pounds and dramatically improved my fitness, my health and my mental attitude at the cost of many friendships. You would think that friends would be happy that you escaped the grim reaper; but no, they feel inadequate. They act like I'm not in hot pursuit of health but I'm aiming instead to make them look bad. I agree100% -move on. In my case, it was uncomfortable enough that I moved to a new city which helped considerably. Love your content, Sophie -keep up the good work!

@marib.1309 Месяц назад

It is so hard when the jealous and envious people are your relatives 😢I cannot get rid of them but I need to get along with them. The most annoying thing is that they secretly want to have most of the things that I have…

@cherisemoss7854 Месяц назад

@@marib.1309 You always have a choice as to who you allow in your life. I have made the choice to keep toxic family members out of my life. But you do you.

@hcronin6744 Месяц назад

No offence, just enjoy yourself. You deserve it❣️🇦🇺

@C.E.A.B. 22 дня назад

I completely get it. If you’ve come in and out of money, some people are with you throughout and others only when they can feel sorry for you, not when they want what you now have. Money/promotions/big houses can come and go if life throws you a curve ball. Some people are with you to help you catch it. ❤

@perthfanny3017 Месяц назад

Your shirt looks like you're wearing a backpack and you're going to stand up any time and go on a hike 😂

@SophieShohetOfficial Месяц назад

@@perthfanny3017 Nice 👌

@Cesiaj Месяц назад

I think it's also important that as we find success, to introspect and be more self-aware of our privileges. I've indeed lost "friends" who became toxic when they saw me start to enjoy things in life, but on the flipside I also distanced myself from people who drastically changed after gaining success. Like they suddenly forgot where we all came from and they've become condescending, rude to the staff, selfish, speak in a snobbish way, social climbing and so on. I'm afraid to end up like that so I always check if I've become out of touch. It helps to be grateful at all times. I've since kept a small circle of friends and am glad that we're all growing together in our own fields, we celebrate achievements but at the same time are not afraid to tell each other off when one of us gets too high and mighty.

@Mistersgoodgirl Месяц назад

Excellent point. It can go both ways.

@VeronicaMowery Месяц назад

My son has this type of problem. He is so very careful with his money, no debt at all, owns two houses, ok salary, but makes sure the bills are covered and most important is that he lives BELOW his means. His friends, deep in debt and are very irresponsible with their money with bad habits. Then those same 'friends' act like he is just lucky when NO, he's not lucky he is highly disciplined and that has got him where he is today, while his friends muck about with credit cards and bad habits.

@Rose-qr4xn Месяц назад

You nailed it. There are always “hater’s” who don’t want to see you succeed. 👍👍👍

@heymrsrobinson2389 Месяц назад

Agree with everything here! BUT playing devils advocate for a mo - I’ve seen people (and influencers) come in to money and start buying luxury and go from humble and grounded to obnoxious and braggy, making sure you know they have more money than you. And in turn, lose followers and friends, so it’s not always jealousy, it’s a switch in them that can turn people off. Like I said, I do however love this video and totally agree! I’m not interested in designer clothes and bag, but love a nice car and pay a fortune for 3 kids in private school - I was ghosted by a close friend the minute I moved from a small house to a big house. She thought I must have won the lottery. After visiting once she refused to come over then blocked me everywhere and even told a mutual friend that she couldn’t bare to see me finally doing well. So I do absolutely get the jealousy!!

@duchessedeberne3909 Месяц назад

I feel happy for girls who can afford their dream items and believe everyone has something great (or will one day have something) to be greatful for.

@portiawelles4314 Месяц назад

OMG thank you so much for this video❤️ for the last few days I’ve been thinking about what to do with negative comments coming from my partner’s mother. She hates the fact that I buy things and I get the feeling that even the fact that I earn money. She hits me with her comments whenever she can always making a victim of herself with words like „I couldn”t afford that”. Now I will just say that I con afford what I buy and it gives me pleasure that cannot be compared with any other thing. I spend my own hard-earned money and I deserve the luxury in my life like no one else.

@ceciliabrown3301 Месяц назад

I had the same problem with few people around me. I always ask them why they're so bothered as I'm not spending their money but mine. That shuts them up.

@BrendaBaBoom Месяц назад

🎯🎯🎯

@kpops168 Месяц назад

I think there is another perspective to be taken into account here. Sometimes it’s not jealousy sometimes it’s that people find you superficial. It’s dangerous to assume people are jealous as it’s stops you looking at yourself critically. People who are superficial and focussed on material belongings are often not nice people to be around. Sometimes it’s good to think about what the other person is seeing. - it’s not always jealousy. I have a brother who is very competitive. He’s lost all his friends, he’s very wealthy and makes sure everyone knows it. He’s now very lonely and miserable and it’s not his former friends who are at fault. It’s him. I am very sensitive around others and their situation, it’s about respect for others.

Месяц назад

Envy is a negative emotion that i try to avoid, so if I start feeling envious towards others, I stop myself there and I think: thank you universe for showing me what’s possible 🙏🏻

@pianomanhere 18 дней назад

Sophie: Frequently, you may hear about the analogy of 'crabs in the bucket.' When one crab sees another one possibly rising to the top of the bucket and escaping from it, other crabs will purposely stymie their efforts. This is true in many areas of life. Here's an example: Expressway traffic: A slow driver in the left lane (our lanes are reversed here in the U.S., of course, and the left lane is intended for faster driving or passing others). You try to get in front of this person via other lanes, and suddenly the slow driver speeds up to purposely thwart your efforts to get in front of him.

@marzialovingliving4847 27 дней назад

Once my manager said to me, "If I 'm working here, you can't be working here as well, but if you don't leave, I will make your life work like hell." Reading it in the right way, it can be the best compliment 😂, so I made her happy leaving. The day I left, she came to me with chocolate... and I asked if they were poisoned 😂😂😂

@flohough1870 Месяц назад

Great subject!!!! I encountered the craziest jealous comment a number of years ago from someone who I thought was my best friend. I'd always wanted a Mini Cooper. I went out to eat one day with my husband and there was one for sale at a car dealership we passed, so we stopped to look at it. I ended up buying it, and I was floored when I called her to tell her and her response was "what did you do that for?" in a very catty tone. That was the first of many comments like that and finally I had to cut her out of my circle.

@Arlene4HO Месяц назад

Sophie here is another story… I had a boss look me up and down and tell me at a Christmas party, in front of a bunch of people, he was glad he didn’t have my Macy’s credit card bill. I quit a few weeks later after I found other work. I started the new year off right. 😉

@SiliconValleyMommy Месяц назад

I'm tempted to sell my luxury bags for the same reason; so many jealous eyes, and I don't like it. I spent so much money on these bags just to get glares. Also afraid of being robbed if I carry one while out by myself.

@nikkil764 Месяц назад

My best friend has been with me for 54 years. I can’t imagine my life without her. Others that I met at that time and since have dropped out of my life because our lives took different paths and we no longer fit. It isn’t a bad thing. I don’t hold any anger about the fact that we no longer fit. One of the keys is understanding that toxic people don’t have to remain in your life. Removing yourself is a favor to them as well.

@Saadbsl Месяц назад

I love your stories, and this one reminds me of when my step brother and his wife did me an ugly one, what you’re talking about, this kind of negativity can also come from family who are supposed to support you and be happy for you So it happened last year, i got a second job which payed really well, and i decided to treat myself and get the cartier panthère watch in the mini size because of my small wrists. I genuinely told my mum that i plan to get that watch, i wasn’t even talking to them but they were listening to our conversation. That mini size was not in stock for a while and i had to wait a couple of months until it arrived, but before it did, my mum texted me to tell me that they went to cartier and that he had bought her the same watch i ordered in the biggest size (which btw was ridiculously big on her wrist), the funny part is that she couldn’t even pronounce the name Cartier correctly and that completely put me off getting that model, when it arrived i still went to the boutique and just told my SA that i changed my mind and got the ballon bleu instead and i’ve been loving it. Not to mention i completely cut both of them off my life not just because of the watch situation but plenty other similar things they did to me over the years and i couldn’t be happier

@ItsOnlyWarPaint Месяц назад

I thought you were wearing a backpack 👀 😂 😂

@mellyholly Месяц назад

Yes me too! I thought the pink was the back strap of a pink rucksack! 🎒 💕

@_vidspatel_ Месяц назад

Sophie - thank you for this video. To be honest - I was the poopy friend. The jealous, insecure, bitter friend for a while in my life. It took A LOT of introspection, a lot of building my self-worth, & a lot of self-love & confidence to stop being jealous. Within this process, I too lost a lot of friends because I was the downtrodden a**hole. But some stuck by me & those people are the most kindest & compassionate in the world. I read the comments & its people who were the ones that had people being jealous towards them, & that makes sense. But I just wanted to say that the other side is also human & if they're smart they eventually do realize that being jealous & bitter is simply being disgusting & destructive to themselves. When that realization happens (and again if they're smart), they change. And they keep bettering themselves so that they never feel an ounce of jealousy for anyone again. And you accept the fact that life has many different paths laid out for many different people. Now I don't give into the feeling & try to create a happy life for myself doing the things that I want & never comparing my progress/life with anyone else.

@seabreeze4559 Месяц назад

I don't trust people who constantly say others are jealous of them. It usually sounds like people pity them (like a bad marriage they keep bringing up but you're not allowed to say anything) or they might just be narcissistic. Most people are too in their own head to even notice most of the world around them post smartphone. Logically if soooo many people are jealous constantly all the time, then why don't we see more of it? Some people under-rate jealousy like Sophie or some others, like some of the people in these comments, over-estimate it, especially on things that aren't a flex like marriage. What is a dream to one is a nightmare to another. I think you gained an appreciation of how different one person's priorities can be from yours?

@_vidspatel_ Месяц назад

@@seabreeze4559 100% & it took a while to get there. A lot of tough conversations with myself & a lot of trial & error.

@Arlene4HO Месяц назад

I played piano and secretly wanted a white baby grand piano. I told my SIL, but no one else. We laughed about it, talked about Elton John and so forth. The next thing I know… within weeks, she bought a white baby grand piano and she didn’t even play piano and never intended to learn. As the years went on I noticed she was jealous of everything and everybody. Such a waste, she died at 62 with a house filled with what she thought everyone else wanted.

@LotsofWhatever Месяц назад

That is freaking depressing.

@HopefulFox-ms5pq Месяц назад

@Arlene4HO Wow. How sad for your sister.

@shamster24 Месяц назад

Wow 😲

@seabreeze4559 Месяц назад

did you inherit the piano?

@Arlene4HO Месяц назад

@@seabreeze4559 No, I wrote above how they had a difficult time unloading it.

@coraelizabethconteh6683 23 дня назад

Lost a lot of friends after I met my husband, we have a stable & healthy relationship, buikd up our company, have a baby boy together, everything us going so well for us & friends were and are jealous. Before I had a bad relationship, they always called to ask how I am, I thought I had great friends. Turned out they just wanted to know the gossip. Most of them dont want to hear how happy & healthy our life is. Good thing: I have peace now. Once in a while I hear about their Drama... so sad

@maijam6709 Месяц назад

I totally agree with you, Sophie! If your boss is horrible, just leave! I once had a boss who turned out to be very unfair and from time to time even rude. Unfairness is something I can't tolerate. Her behavior gave me a lot of anxiety. If you start to have problems with mental health because of work/your boss, there's only one thing to do: leave. And I'm really sorry to say this, but I've never had a problem with a male boss. But certain females...

@duchess_of_petty9323 Месяц назад

The biggest one is a girl that always saw me as competition. We were never best friends, but she married my friend. We were at a mutual friends wedding she was there with her three kids, and she had known that my husband and I were trying to have a baby and went through years of infertility treatments and the first thing she says oh it must be nice to be able to afford Louboutins…. She caught me on the wrong day because I did clap back hard and say well I didn’t have three kids back to back to back so maybe that’s why I can’t afford them. I know it wasn’t nice, but she would always make crack like that and I’ve had enough haven’t talked to her since And the other time that sticks out was when I got engaged and I called one of my best friends and the first thing out of her mouth is oh great now I’m the last single one again last time I talked to her

@CandidsAna Месяц назад

This is so true, its happened to me in the past and comments when I got married late that I was selfish because I would travel etc. The reality is quality over quantity in people you surround yourself with. The toxic people have insecurities about themselves and it has nothing to do with you. I am now 58 and have a small circle a great Hubby and daughter and have cut out family, friends that weren't loving or supportive. We choose our friends that become family.

@for833 24 дня назад

Growing up I had a lot of fake and envious friends, so I have had to deal with this stuff most of my life even though I don't own luxury stuff. Being from a poor country and having more "advantages" than other people because my dad was a doctor and could travel outside the country and bring me very simple things such as toys or nicer clothes that my classmates did not have, I had to deal with classmates being friends with me one week and then deciding the following week that they were going to ignore me or be mean to mean, it was the strangest thing! Thankfully my new set of friends are not like that and for the most part they are happy with my successes.

@drewisours Месяц назад

This is absolutely true, thank you for speaking on this. It truly does go far beyond luxury goods. Bravo Sophie! ❤

@rimma7870 Месяц назад

I made my boss believe that my husband made good money when in reality, we were making about the same amount. We were saving on some things but splurging on others. Ever since then, my boss has always thought that my husband was buying things for me. She felt better about it, and I didn’t mind.

@duchessedeberne3909 Месяц назад

Whenever I had an (older) female boss it was horrible. With male bosses it was always chill!

@susanbaker2796 Месяц назад

Agree. An older female boss is the worst. Always in competition...never a cheerleader.

@KehindeGlam 26 дней назад

I’m going through this right now! My older female boss is a jealous bag of bile! I have had to stop wearing nice things to work, and just keeping my head down. What a piece of work😢

@duchessedeberne3909 25 дней назад

@@KehindeGlam damn, I know that well. Hope you can find another job.

@MariaPaula-kt3jj Месяц назад

When I remodeled my house so many people got triggered. You know who your real friends are when you do/get something great and they’re not happy.

@decemberclouds Месяц назад

I faced this so much! I outright LIED about where I lived, which supermarket I chose, and lots of other things about myself so that I wouldn't get lots of nasty comments and workplace hatred. I'm glad I work from home now and that I am no longer around so many of those people who said nasty things to me.

@hannkg7715 Месяц назад

My husband is a lawyer and when he became a partner in his firm and our pay increased substantially, we had family members who found petty excuses to be upset at us and therefore stay away from us. It took me a long time, and plenty of heartache to realise the minor issues they were having were not really the issue, it was just simple jealousy/envy and their own discomfort that we were able to have more. It still feels unfair, but there is nothing I can do about it.

@yanettquiroga7191 Месяц назад

Totally agree with this topic, I have left family and what I thought were friends!! Now I'm so happy and stressed free!! Cheers to you Sophie you and David are wonderful human beings!!!

@elizabethwitte6417 Месяц назад

I drive an expensive car, have a couple of luxury items, a nice home and couldn’t care less what jealous people think. Jealousy is their problem. I’ve lived long enough to see what toxic people can do to your life if you let them.

@skurinski 21 день назад

They are envious not jealous

@kkimhng Месяц назад

People are very jealous these days. The cost of living has been very challenging and I guess not many people love their jobs anymore. I like to keep personal info to myself (my future goals/plans, wedding planning/house hunting, my job/salary etc. There’s gonna be genuine people who are really happy for you and they’re the real ones. But I’d still rather not share any information and keep it private. I feel more comfortable that way which also avoids any unnecessary competition/jealousy.

@glockenrein 21 день назад

I’ve been on both sides of this equation and very often I think it’s not so much jealousy but a lack of self esteem. People feel inferior looking at someone’s success and that’s not a nice feeling to go through every time you see someone so they distance themselves. Edit: you just said that but I don’t think they wonder why they don’t have what you have, I think they know perfectly well why and it makes them feel horrible about themselves and that’s exhausting over time.

@jesseeec Месяц назад

That’s why you can only be friends with ppl in the same league as you are. That’s just the way it is …level up and leave the haters behind

@dianacina655 Месяц назад

This whole video has big sister energy!!!

@susanbaker2796 Месяц назад

Amen and 100% about your advice on your boss and quitting. This is a no win situation. I have cried too many tears over this and ended up quitting anyway. I should have quit right from the get go and saved myself so much work anxiety. Your advice is sound on this subject Sophie.

@ciccioblue Месяц назад

I had a friend years ago who told me something very important. She said “I’d rather be alone than being with people just to not be alone”. This stuck with me. My circle is small very small. Like count on one hand small. But 1 good friend is more valuable than 10 colleagues.

@drc4168 Месяц назад

Cream rises to the top. You had David, he and you are an inspiration. And when you rise above the din and noise of begrudgerers, you attract the best folk. ❤

@SophieShohetOfficial Месяц назад

I agree! Positive attracts positive for sure! Hugs to you my friend xx🩷🩷

@marysuze Месяц назад

My favorite part of this video is the fact that being in a good relationship with David gave you safe place to change and pursue your best. Those are the kind of people we all need to be around.

@drc4168 Месяц назад

@@SophieShohetOfficial I lost all my friends when - after battling a serious mh condition - I went on to complete my PhD aged 40. Everyone stuck around for the bad times but nobody stayed - except my husband of two decades - when I finally achieved something good. 😊💘

@RachTink Месяц назад

It’s a huge indicator, if someone loses interest and goes vacant when you are happy/successful BUT very much interested, and there for you when you are in a low place

@cps525i7 Месяц назад

I had a so-called friend tell me that the day I told her I was engaged that she had to go see her therapist. She had recently gotten divorced after 17 years. I felt bad for her but 2 years had passed and was there for her in her time of need. I dumped her as a friend. I told her that after that statement and the fact that she couldn't be just happy for me we couldn't be friends.

@thebigh9324 Месяц назад

I'm so happy that you finally have some true strong genuine people around you , it will give people who feel abandoned, let down or lost , true hope that there is always the time to find the RIGHT company ! ❤❤

@FA_2_Pilot Месяц назад

Sorry you’ve had poopy people around you. We all go through it in our own ways! I can’t tell you how many flight attendants spoke down to me when I told them I was going to make it to the other side of the flight deck door! But now all my friends are awesome pilots (and the flight attendants who rallied behind me) Some people don’t like seeing other people succeed. 🤷‍♀️ Keep those around who lift you up! Much love from Hawaii! 🤙🌺

@nmernst Месяц назад

Happy Wednesday everyone 😊. Thanks for sharing Sophie. Some folks just feel a bit intimidated when they see someone else do well which is unfortunate.

@danahashhash3616 Месяц назад

Love your approach and all the good advice shared! I'd like to add something. At times, lifestyle changes are impacting friendships a lot, and people grow apart not because of jealousy but because certain areas need our full commitment for success. I've lost friends who decided to prioritize fitness or work ( impossible to find time to chat/ meet, grab a bite etc) for a couple of years and when they had an availability on short notice to meet up, ( once, twice per year) they got pretty upset and accused me of being jealous, when in fact I was happy for them but had my own priorities. Some friendships endure, some move online, some end but on lovely terms with the promise to enjoy each other when time allows with 0 pressure, and some adapt. Yes, these people who aren't happy for you don't really care about you and they will drawn you in their misery and gossip- don't let them cut your wings. But also know that having relationships in life takes time, interest and a bit of effort, so you can't expect to be MIA for years on end and then get upset when people don't bend over backwards to make room for you.

@cosmicmauve Месяц назад

I don't have a juicy story, but I would be #4 if I had high-end stuff. Even for plans or projects, I'm top-secret, mostly because I don't like interference and I don't like nosy questions. People want to give their opinions where sometimes they just need to make an observation with your best interest in mind and even that is subjective. Jealousy is one thing but the ones to watch out for are those that are vindictive in some way, they make up a whole story in their heads about you and "get you back" for reasons only known to them. But you're advice is good, definitely will keep it in mind.

@JOO-vf8jz Месяц назад

My husband’s sister, so my sister-in-law, is extremely jealous and has been awful to us. She told us once to stay in our own bubble. She says we rub it in that we are so happy and have a magical life. We don’t at all and we are very careful what we say to her. I feel like I’m always checking exactly what I text or say to her; it’s exhausting really. We can’t understand why she wouldn’t be happy for us because we are so happy together. My hubby and I are like you and David. We laugh a lot and really love each other. We haven’t cut her out but we have distanced ourselves from her. Now that we know how she truly feels about us we really don’t care to have her involved in our lives. We like our bubble, lol. I feel so blessed to have my best friend as my hubby.

@fareastmanside5f4in Месяц назад

Fashion is a interesting topic, i have 10 jackets and 20 shoes in my closet and i try to remind myself always I'm supposed to enjoy fashion and not show off too much. I started wearing secondary clothes and got into brands as I got older. I think some ppl really judge u for being blinged up, but i would not go back to $20 outfits even if i was broke. It's a form of self-expression.

@lvettesonai 26 дней назад

😥 My hubby and I face this now. I'm a introvert so don't care so much, but my husband (a kind man to everyone) is feeling it. His business is thriving and I do well. I'm happy for EVERYONE who does well, no matter what. People we thought we're friends are acting really jealous.- We work hard , but loooove doing for others (Our kids, parents....) now, so-called friends say really snibe remarks, "oh .. y'all are beyond us " * fake laugh*...."how do you get that level of service". ..is that handbag real?" 😮 None of your business! But..work hard play hard. Whatever. 😏 It's why my husband and I never vacation with friends or share much now. It's weird and a little hurtful. That saying....YOU don't change, but those around you DO. 😞

@jazzelatienza7150 Месяц назад

Thank you for such a great topic! It is sad, but you are definitely right that people can get jealous when good things come in your way (having a direction in your life, promotions, owning luxury items). The only thing you can control is how you react to situations. I have heard from a famous pastor Joel Osteen "Don't let others take away your joy." This has been my motto in life and so far, I am doing just fine 😊

@kimclever9740 Месяц назад

Sophia I just love your energy and perspective. You always make me think, which is my jam!

@Amy-601 Месяц назад

Love 💗 the input on how to navigate work place problems, deal with haters and the psychology behind it. Thank you 😊 Sophie for making it. - Amy

@sk1984 Месяц назад

Thank you so much for the respone 👏 I really appreciate the advice! Ever since I have went up financially, It has indeed felt like I have been mourning the loss of the friends who have been disgusting towards me. Thankfully, at work, my bosses and higher above associates are very lovely and are genuinely happy for my success. I'm grateful for those people. The friends who are upset were the ones that were at the same level as me.

@likesky8 Месяц назад

A couple of years after 2 of my best friends (through college and in my 20s and early 30s) married very wealthy men - I had to end the friendships. I was alone and killing myself at work while they were sending me photos from 10 star resorts in Tuscany and Hawaii. Why was I supposed to feel happy for them while I was miserable? It was bad for my mental health. So it works both ways - some people get very lucky in life.. if you don't - just cut them out and you'll feel much better. It doesn't mean that they are bad or you are bad - it just means that the friendship ran its course and time to move on. They can play in their own socioeconomic circles.

@yeseniah7373 24 дня назад

This! Luck is so random and so unfair!

@Ayshanyomi 20 дней назад

I experienced this with my own mother and sister, as a result they caused me so much heartache and drama that I’ve kept them at arms length/not spoken for over 10 years. It’s really sad but some people just can’t stand seeing others happy.

@ashypie2004 15 дней назад

This was exactly what I needed to hear, exactly today. Thank you!

@BrendaBaBoom Месяц назад

Some people are nosy and jealous so I’m ready to clap back with audacity and/or authority when they offer TOXIC unsolicited remarks. 🗣️

@bethbounds2873 Месяц назад

I don’t need people to like me for the things I have. I don’t care if people dislike me for the things I have. My things make me happy and that’s all that matters. I don’t need more people in my life.

@lindamurphy3969 Месяц назад

I’ve walked away from 2 people without saying anything. Just cut them out. They didn’t need to know why I walked away. I didn’t feel the need to justify. I may bump into them from time to time and I don’t care. I’m not mad at them, I don’t wish anything bad for them, but I’m better off without them. It’s freeing and I have no regrets. It’s really not their business why we are no longer friends.

@jillmartin8255 Месяц назад

Hi Sophie!!! I am so lucky with my friends, we have known each other for years and have helped and supported each other through all our ups and downs, and celebrated all our various life achievements. Lucky indeed!! Hugs xx

@vasimuci Месяц назад

I agree with everything you said. Last year I got a job at a pharmaceutical company and I was so happy about it, I was so excited, but then when I started, my manager's behavior was so bad with me and I constantly felt embarrassed, stupid and not in the right place. I think it was not about jealousy (will never know) but just he was like that. After a month in this company I quite, because I was crying everyday and was so so broke inside. Now I have lovely manager and coleagues. Yes, maybe it will be difficult , but just don't accept bad working environment!

@SophieShohetOfficial Месяц назад

I’m sorry this happened to you my friend, very glad to hear you got out and have a nice manager now!🥰 hugs xx

@KayRobinsonElliott-nq6br 20 дней назад

Thank you for doing this video Sophie. I have suffered serious bullying at work as well as in my private life and your advice is spot on! This video will undoubtedly help a lot of people who are currently feeling very alone.

@delorisjones9667 Месяц назад

You are not wrong| it’s SO SAD when people you genuinely love are jealous to the core!

@ellenamy9617 Месяц назад

Forever grateful that jealousy isn’t in my nature, I can appreciate what I have and when the time seems right I work towards my next personal goal whether it’s a holiday or something nice, but it’s always self motivated and not from jealousy!

@melocoton7 Месяц назад

This is where it's great to be an introvert LOL I don't have many friends and I'm fine with that. Maintaining friendships is so much work. I just don't have the energy to hang out more than every couple of months.

@amkii2 22 дня назад

YES, Sophie!! I agree with all of this.

@indoora Месяц назад

The way I see it is they were never your friends to begin with. People are so quick to call co-workers friends when in fact they are not. They are just people you work with and sometimes you might hang out with them. As the saying goes "This a friend does not make." If you cannot count on that person to be there for you when you have nothing, when you are down, when you cannot offer them anything, then they are not your friend.

@zja55y Месяц назад

I noticed my long time friend distanced herself from me ever since my husband started to make more money and could afford to buy me luxury goods regularly, she was quite close to my daughter when we were still close friends , but she had completely stopped talking to me after I had my son few years ago. So it wasn’t just my luxury handbags that were making her jealous but also having another baby. She had trouble getting pregnant for many years and I felt so bad for her, but at the same time it’s not my fault.

@sharoncole8249 29 дней назад

💖l can imagine alot of people are jelous of you and David. That is such a shame because l have been watching you for many years now and you are just good people . I am sure you and David know who are the good people .Sophie you are such kind people and you always think about all your followers when showing us all the Beautiful things you always show us things that are not so expensive too. I also love your advice because l hate negativity. 💖

@magcho5463 16 дней назад

I would like to tell people who don't dare to quit their job: do not be afraid ! I have left my job many times for different reasons, for instance an abusive boss, stupid and gossiping colleagues, tasks that didn't interesed me, having a different worldveiw from the others that made me feel out of place... And I have no regrets despite the fears of my friends or my family. You will attract new people or situations you are ready to face and will eventually make you grow until you find the job that best suit you. So don't be afraid and make choices in your life 💪.

@julijakeit Месяц назад

As the saying goes: misery loves company. But what most people don't know that success attracts successful people. You lost miserable fake friends and met beautiful, successful, happy people - you won!

@sams3015 Месяц назад

Brilliant video, travelling atm and got a negative comment from a family member about my trip. Needed this video

@susanbaker2796 Месяц назад

Same.

@LouFederer Месяц назад

You look so pretty and relaxed, Sophie. Love this look and vibe on you! Xx

@SophieShohetOfficial Месяц назад

@@LouFederer you’re so kind! Thank you my friend and hugs xx🩷🩷

@kevinhsu8184 Месяц назад

Everyone has many different friends and family. I never rub my fancy trips to friends and family. I think people can’t help it but be jealous and secretly wish you ill. IMO it’s better to be down low about luxury stuff or fancy trips. Most people can’t achieve them and it’s good enough for me to enjoy them without friends/family knowing. If they ask, I’ll tell the truth. If not, I don’t see the point of telling/ showing them. It just makes everyone uncomfortable. Like you said, eventually you will find your own tribe to hang out with. Those people usually have similar lifestyle where you can talk about things without offending them. Instead of them asking you why you have so many bags, they will tell you which sa to butter up at Hermes so you can get your Birkin faster! 😂

@Natttttttt007 Месяц назад

Correct as usual Queen ❤

@duchess_of_petty9323 Месяц назад

Yep, lost friends when I got married lost friends when I lost weight, which is why I have a very small tight circle of people that I associate with. The ones that only call when they need some thing and then there’s the ones who say oh I wish I could afford that. or make snide comments if I have on a new outfit or if I got some Botox or just anything. How quickly you find out who your friends really are

@susanbaker2796 Месяц назад

Losing weight is a big one with friends. If they like you overweight, they should be happy for you when you lose that weight. Sometimes, a lot of times, it's not the case.

@Panda-xj6or Месяц назад

Sophie everything you have said is so right. I'm in my 30s, single and renting. I have found the most judgemental co-workers are mothers of young children or who are in a couple with a large mortgage they signed up for during covid when it was "cheap" at the time(now huge interest rates), and waste money every 6months on holidays to Bali (cheap holiday in Australia) nights out or buying lunches at work. I made the mistake of bringing a vintage celine macadam canvas bag worth less than $500USD to a work function once. A month later got promoted due to my hard work. Since then I have copped to no end of "now you got a payrise you going to buy a new bag" etc comments. I haven't been on an overseas holiday in years! I have always found young women to be the most judgemental. My male colleagues are the easiest to get along with!

@SophieShohetOfficial Месяц назад

I’m so sorry to hear this has happened to you, it’s tough when it’s work colleagues as you can’t distance yourself without quitting. Well done on your promotion! Hugs to you xx

@mrvgstyle2442 Месяц назад

Hi Sophie, I can relate to this topic. I had a colleague who I shared office space with in my early thirties. It bothered her that I was engaged in my early thirties. She would make comments like "I'm going to get married before I'm thirty. I won't wait." I also had more work experience than she did and I had a great relationship with my staff and she, being the control freak she was, would constantly criticize how I did my job I can no longer post about my life on Facebook. A friend, who used to be my co-worker, commented on photos of my first apartment that I was fondly reflecting on and remarked how "fancy" my furniture was. My mother, with my dad's support, made sure we had a nice home growing up. I just followed suit because it was what I learned and was comfortable with. Today, the colleague still hasn't found a life partner. The friend and former co-worker, I am no longer in contact with, because she just couldn't relate to my life. Now, I'm more discreet about what I do so as not to provoke some insecure person.

@seabreeze4559 Месяц назад

Singleness is not a disease, neither is being married. It's a personal choice. She's allowed to change her mind, just like people getting divorced. She also might not be posting him on social media, as you don't your stuff?

@archaicamusement3871 Месяц назад

Sounds like you are the problem here...

@HereIGoAJen Месяц назад

I found that once in my 40’s I had already weeded out the “friends”who were jealous and spiteful. It’s the people in the office. Those are the hardest because you can’t just cut them out. My boss doesn’t really get involved in the personal stuff. It’s some of the people at the same level, my peers who have the jealousy issues. Over the bags, my home, the car, the traveling etc. and the thing is I don’t do jealous. Never have. My mother wouldn’t allow that. So, I’ve always had the “good luck god bless” attitude. But it drives me nuts sometimes that people can be so jealous. They’re not my friends and they’ll not ever be. I see you 8-5 M-F and that’s enough. Also - I wanted to add that we don’t have kids. We are DINKS (dual income no kids) so we are able to do certain things and put our money into areas where some people can’t.

@skurinski 21 день назад

They are envious

@jullin8230 29 дней назад

Compatibility is key…pray 4 right friends to come in your life…n haters be removed peacefully 😊❤

@luxluv7934 Месяц назад

As I got all the things over the last 14 years, my circle got smaller and couldn't be happier with my like-minded hubby and friend group ❤ plus we are both Scorpios and don't give a fig about anyone's opinions anyways, haters only shame themselves, so undignified 😅

@kayleigh3310 29 дней назад

I agree with everything you said. Not everyone can go to the next level with you.

@nataliearun2603 Месяц назад

Love your tips and advice Sophie, I’ve been following you over the years and you’re 10/10 great. Thank you ❤

@SophieShohetOfficial Месяц назад

Hello lovely Natalie! I just wanted to write to thank you so much for the love and support, it is SO appreciated, I really am grateful to you for being here, so thank you! 🥰xx