1. She admired him 2. Mutual attraction 3. Generous (compatibility values in world view, compatibility with attraction, compatibility with future goals) 4. He challenges her (being honest) 5. Faith
Thank you so much for posting this! These are such great things to look for in a man 😄 I’m very grateful your husband has encouraged you to not give up RU-vid for the wrong reasons-I’m so thankful your voice and message can be heard by so many including myself 😊
Something that stuck out to me about my boyfriend (with whom I've discussed marriage) is that the way he acts around me, vs with his guy friends, vs with his mom (specifically how he talks about women) is aways the same. Don't date a guy with multiple personalities.
Well I think there is some healthy and natural differences in how I’m treated as his gf vs his guy friends vs his mother. But I think what you’re saying is the essence is the same. He’s not unrecognizable or putting on an act, or a face, he’s being himself in all three circumstances. But if a bf does treat you the exact same he treats his guy friends or mom, that would be a red flag lol. I wouldn’t want to be treated as either. But I think you’re talking more fundamentally.
I didn’t meet my husband until I was 33 (he was 31… guess I’m a cougar, haha). I had pretty much given up. When we first met I told myself if it didn’t work out, I was done. I just couldn’t take any more dating and drama and breakups. Our second date was lunch on Xmas Eve. That night I was at my parents’ house and he was at his. Texting back and forth. I missed him, which seemed kinda weird. Like “Huh? Why would I be missing him?” And then it hit me.😮 This was going to be my last Xmas as a single lady. Sure enough, it was. Been married 15 years now. Even crazier was he felt the exact same thing that night too. So in our case it was just feeling the same way about each other at the same time. And having clarity. No bells ringing or angels going “aaaaa!”, just “Oh. He’s the one.”
As a single guy here I enjoy your content. It's good to hear your perspective and you really make a positive impact on the ladies who watch your videos. What if you have your husband share his perspective for us guys? Thank you
Loved your advice. My mom always said that you should marry someone you admire, and I also really liked how you explained it´s important to choose someone who challenges you rather than simply going along with everything that you do and not calling you out when you need it. Thanks for tips and best wishes!
I knew my husband was the one because of the peace the Lord gave me in my heart! It was a peace I had never experienced before, and I knew that marrying my husband was God’s will for me 🩵💛💜
I was never more sure i married the right man than when our dog passed away in the middle of our struggle with infertility. We pulled together emotionally in a way we never had before. Now on the other side with a baby on the way we get to celebrate together.
That wouldn’t work the way he moves is great but he found an exceptional woman. If men moved like him they would be taken full advantage of their entire life.
@@Savage-bd3rkNot necessarily. Like a beautiful woman they would have many options and they would have to be careful to sort through those with bad intentions. Still better than not having any options or poor options
I feel you. My family has had many hard times such health and moving to another state. My husband and I talked about it, and we both agree that we have grown closer because of it. My husband also taught me to socialize more. When I used to go to the store, if a stranger talked to me, I would think "why are you talking to me" and try to leave the situation. I also used to be turned off by a cashier, or someone, being cranky at me. I would see him talk to people at the store and connect with them. And if we ran across a cranky cashier, he would ask them how their day was going. Then they were much nicer. I now do the same and it makes me feel good knowing I may have made their day better.
Are you me ??? I love this!! I used to want to hide when our neighbors came to chat but now I’m the first one to step over and talk. He’s helped me erase so much social anxiety 😊❤
@@MrsMidwest LOL!! I know! I just was so quiet, then he somehow, influenced me. I'm happy he did, life is much better when you get to know the kind lady next door!! LOL
When describing your husband and your admiration for him, that so perfectly emcompassed how I feel about my own boyfriend who I definitely am wanting to spend my future with. This video gave me so much reassurance and confidence and even MORE appreciation for the good men in my life. Thank you ❤
Lovely video! I appreciate your well thought out points. I knew my husband was the one for many reasons, but especially because he’s the kindest man I’ve ever met, deeply loyal, has a strong faith, and we have that emotional and physical attraction ❤️ He’s also incredibly intelligent and loves to learn about people’s lives and opinions.
*This is SUCH IMPORTANT* information! 🥰 I hope that MANY young women come across this video --- crucial information in these times of anti-male, anti-marriage rhetoric.
I love how you describe your marriage as a "mutual exchange of blessings" because my husband and I were just saying the other day that we both feel so lucky to be in a traditional relationship!! Like we BOTH feel like "the lucky one" without feeling like we're taking advantage of each other, which a lot of people don't understand. It really is the most fulfilling and beneficial dynamic there is. Your videos honestly brighten my day up a lot whenever I sit down to watch you because the Christian homemaker life can be extremely isolating in the modern world, so it's amazing to listen to someone I can fully relate to and know that I'm not crazy for being a happy housewife lol
Something I look for in a future spouse is how they treat people to their face vs how they treat them when they leave the room. Do they seem kind and loving to someone while that person is in the room, and then when that person leaves, they turn around and cut that person down to all the others in the room? This tells me alot about a guy - if he'll do that to others, he will probably do it to his future wife. I don't want someone who is always cutting me down to others! This criteria cuts out a lot of two-faced and mean men. Saves me a lot of time lol I really liked this video, thank you so much for it!
I feel that way right now about gossiping. I don't want to do it any longer or engage with those who do it. Family, neighbors, everyone is doing it about each other, and yet they all smile in each other's faces when they see each other, and I dont like being around that falsity anymore. It's very passive-aggressive. You can never really trust that someone who gossips about others' issues isn't also saying things about you to others. That creates a problem where people who never met you may only know what has been said about you but not the whole of you.
I'm 55 and I have never met a man that I had this relationship with. I honestly feel it's too late for me to meet someone like this now. I'm glad that you met your man and you will both age and grow together. Sending you both love and best wishes, especially for your husband's swift recovery. Xxx
It’s so difficult! I think having a very broad social circle never hurts, as does being open to (safe) online dating! I really feel so much sympathy for everyone in the dating pool right now. I feel like it’s so difficult and complicated :(
Visit other churches in the surrounding areas, go on Christian mission trips or to Christian social events and conferences and try online dating (with care!) ❤️ the girls in my church are in the same boat, they're widening their pool now for the same reason. Visit your sister church too (if you have one). Good luck!
Work at a blue collar job. A place where men are predominant. Not that you have to do blue collar labor, but perhaps like a secretary or dispatcher. I met my husband at UPS. But I wasn't an office worker. I was a grubby warehouse worker that loaded trucks😂
I knew my husband was the one because he treated me with respect even though he had every opportunity not to! 😅 He always has ever since, he has a strong moral compass and a strong faither even though he doesnt flaunt it. I am the luckiest girl in the world, when we met i didnt know Jesus and lucked into marrying such an amazing Jesus loving man! We just had our two kids dedicated at our church and I feel like i am living the Chrisitan wife dream!
Thank you for this video Caitlin! It made me so, so grateful for my own boyfriend. We are not religious but hold and share similar values and this was the video of yours I most related to. My boyfriend was very badly injured last year in a motorcycle accident and, as you described, our roles completely switched for over three months. I cannot explain in few words how that period turned out new relationship into a strong bond of mutual respect like I have never even witnessed. He has, since his recovery, stepped up to be even more masculine, supportive , strong and reliable. I think good men value knowing that their woman will be by their side in the worst times. I trusted (and let him know I trusted) his capability to step back up on his two feet (literally) and take care of himself post-recovery and he went beyond that. Your husband, from what you share, seems like an amazing partner and father and I am almost certain he will impress you in his recovery and your relationship will grow stronger from this experience. I wish you and your family the best. Much love from France. 😊 Tiphaine
Tiphaine, I just want to thank you for taking the time to type up a note about your experience and relationship. I’m so sorry you went through that and am happy to know he healed!! I completely understand what you mean about the dynamics and am so encouraged by what you’ve said here. I really feel like this is a good thing for us and me especially-- I think it’s helped me have more stamina and more of a backbone!! I think about our vows a lot and it’s so good to be tested like this. Thank you for being here and for your wisdom. Sending so much love back to you !❤❤❤
@@MrsMidwest Oh that is the sweetest reply! I am blushing reading my comment described as « wisdom » when I have been so inspired by you over the last couple of years. 😅 💕
I did not know. We were very young. But thank goodness it turned out okay because he’s a genuinely sweet tempered person. My favorite attribute about my husband is if he is wrong he’s always willing to peacefully and humbly change.
Great video! And now that we've cleared all that up, _where_ do I find a guy like this? 😄💕 I'm 25 and all the guys my age or older in my church still behave like immature boys...
@@katieociardha2196 I second this! That's how I met my husband. His church hosted volleyball for singles after the evening service and they actively invited people from other churches to join in.
I knew my husband was the one by his kind heart. Like what you said about your husband giving people time of day that others wouldn’t. I saw that in my husband and found it very endearing and attractive. Praying for your husbands healing and your family as a fellow Christian mom of 2 under 2 I love your videos so much! ❤
Your marriage is the perfect example of how everyone should get married. With so many people talking about how marriage destroys men and how the courts favor women, your marriage clearly shows that it’s not the case and debunks all the criticisms and arguments against marriage.
@wesleychow52 I guess better to be far left for the person above . You know ? Today he is my husband, and tomorrow he is a women , cuz he put a lipstick on 😂 cuz tradition is so outdated for far left
We've been married for 9 years and a couple for 11, but my husband has been my best friend for 16 years. I love, respect and admire him so much. I've known since I was 17 that this man is the one I wanted to spend my life with, and I've never regretted my choice. We have 2 kids now and for a lot of reasons I would say this has been the hardest year of our marriage. I thank God every day that I'm married to the man I am because I can't imagine trying to manage the year we've had with anyone else.
How did you end up getting together after being just friends for so long, even though you knew? Like, were there obstacles, and how did you two overcome them?
@@christinekonicki8440 so I fully acknowledge that our story isn't typical. I knew I could and wanted to marry him... it just took him time to get on the same page. We both dated other people in the time where we were 'just friends', although we always had some feelings for each other. He was going off to join the military and I was going to college, so we spent 4 years being thousands of miles apart (minimum 3k, sometimes literally continents apart), aside from short leave breaks where he'd visit me a couple of days between being with his family. I would bring up every so often that I was in love with him but he didn't want to start anything, I think due to being not ready to settle down, not wanting to risk our friendship if we didn't work romantically, the distance, and the very real chance he wouldn't come home from war. We talked on the phone all the time, Skyped, and wrote letters to each other during deployments. When he came home from his combat tour we started dating, got engaged a year later, and married 6 months after that when I was newly 22 and he was 23.
Wow this video really spoke to me. I've begun to explore the idea of dating and marriage and now I will know what to look for in a life partner. Thank you Caitlin!
It sounds a lot like you are describing my relationship it´s almost creepy. I also met my husband on a group trip for university and he is really generous and empathetic. When we went on the group trip our very first interaction was him offering to carry my suitcase up the stairs since I struggled. Later I found out that he had still been on pain meds for his back injury so he offered to help me despite not being in a good place himself. This selflessness really impressed me. He is really empathetic, generous, honest and is great at communicating with people which is something I truly admire. Anyway, I wish you and your family a blessed week! It´s always great to hear more from you. :)
You literally read my mind. You don’t eve know how much I needed this. The homemaker career options was the cherry on top. I am so lucky to have someone like you Caitlin ❤
I think looking up to your husbands actually means he is a good role model in a way that he would be a good husband material. Who doesn't want your spouse to have a good education, his life together, takes care of his body, treats people well, goes life by principles/faith, has a healthy good friend circle and is good with kids?
Caitlin, you're extremely inspiring to me! It feels me with joy that an amazing woman like you has found, with all due respect, an amazing man! God bless both of you! I love your honesty, the way you express yourself and your desire to let God sanctify you through your husband and kids! ❤
This was such an uplifting video to watch! Happy anniversary and glad to hear you are making it through this hard time with such grace. ❤️ My husband and I are about to welcome our first baby in a few weeks and celebrate our 1 year anniversary in October! I knew he was the one for many of the same reasons you described in your experience. Before we had hardly talked to each other I said to myself "out of anyone I know I would definitely marry him". He is so intelligent, capable, generous, and faithful while balancing in such humility. We had very little when we first got married, and knew that would be the case, and I honestly think that has helped build an even stronger and happier relationship between us and with God. Marriage is absolutely the best if you trust Him and give your best out of love ❤️😊💕
I think you hit everything🤣 literally my husband is everything you said girl. This video made me even more happy and pleased with who I chose to marry!
I have not been married for even a year yet, but I identify with so many of the points put in this video. Number one is being equally yoked. Then definitely looking up to them respecting them and admiring who they are is huge because it would be very difficult to be married to someone that you did not respect or try to make the best decisions. Also to the parents with in the future, I have heard some older women say don’t marry anyone who you would not be proud of if they were your son in the future, I’m very glad I listen to that advice 😊
"A man who is not scared of me." Thank you for mentioning this. There was a guy I seriously considered marrying for over a decade. Things were never quite able to make it to the other side. After many years I was pushing for serious logistical conversation and progression. He finally told me he hadn't broached certain subjects with me because he was scared of me. He was scared of saying something I didn't like and me blocking him. I asked how he planned to be married to someone he didn't feel comfortable talking to... I found that whole relationship so confusing. Thank you for adding some additional peace and clarity to it. 💚
I love this so much, it echoes exactly how I feel! At the start of 2020 we had to immigrate back to Canada (my husband is a US citizen) and all of a sudden he couldn’t work. Our beloved and harmonious roles were flipped on their heads and it was a gruelling 3 year process to get his permanent residence thanks to everything being slowed down. It was so hard on us, but in the eye of the storm it really made me appreciate how blessed I am to have someone that shares my values and works so well with me, and how lucky I am to have a man who comes to life living out the role that so naturally compliments my own!
I was literally thinking today that I can’t wait for a new video from you 😍 so excited for this new one! ❤ can’t wait to listen to your precious advice and opinions 🤗 you are the big sister I always dreamed of having! Sending you my love and appreciation 😘
Thank you darling!! I’m so grateful for supporters like you who are always here for me no matter what. I hope you have a lovely and relaxing Sunday ❤❤❤
It always blows me away how wise and mature you are when you’re only about a year older than me. I really appreciate your input! Thank you for another great video! I’m glad your husband encouraged you to continue with RU-vid!! Sending prayers for your family❤ Ironically I did realize my partner was the one years before we started dating when he rescued me from side of the road in the rain, 30 minutes out of his way. I know I can always count on him.
Loved the video! ❤I learned a lot as a single girl. I have a question. What is your view on age gaps? Specifically when the girl is older than the guy? Could you give me your opinion?
I know you asked for Caitlin's advice but thought I would add something that may help! Interestingly most of my married/dating female friends are older than their husband or boyfriend, either by a year, or even a few! I think one of the intuitive things is, do you forget that there is an age difference? Meaning, do you match each other in maturity just naturally, so that you don't think about your ages. It's hard to describe but I'm sure you can tell when it *isnt* matched especially. Good questions are, do I forget he is younger than me, does his maturity match/blend with my own and that of our community, does his age interfere with my attraction or even practical expectations for a marriage/relationship at this time. I think if you try to ignore an age difference (and do so naturally and successfully) then it is not going to be an issue for you. I hope this helps! 😊❤️
Thank you so much for this video, Caitlin! This couldn't of come at a more perfect time. I have a guy in my life who is a friend but all these qualities/dynamics have been emerging between us and I've found myself falling for him. God-willing it's a step in the right direction and evolves further. Many blessings to you and your wonderful family! ❤
Blessings on your journey!! As long as there is attraction, this could be a wonderful thing for you. Don’t force feelings but let yourself fall into them!! ❤❤
This is a beautiful video and I truly hope your husband has watched this. He will feel so proud of you, himself and the life you have built together ❤ wishing you many more happy years together ❤
I am so happy that you found your husband that sounds like an awesome man! I totally agree with everything you illustrated here. These are all important qualities to keep in mind as I look for that man.
10:03 I can't state how this is important. Having someone that is willing to hear you, understand you and engage on conversation makes a huge difference
Love all of this. I might also add that while it's VERY important to have standards in a man (especially moral standards) it's also just as equally important to remember that no one is going to be perfect (myself included). So be careful not to fall into the pit of despair like I did once one little thing about my man was different from what I expected! We all have our faults; it's what you do about those faults that matters most. Especially if they continually work on improving themselves and are loving and encouraging to you as well :) Keep the trust in God that He has everything under control and all happens in God's good timing!
Thank you for your bravery and honesty, it is impactful and very helpful for me and I am sure for many women. Your advice is important. I will forward it to my daughter, 22 yo. It is sad how we are not being helped in childhood, adolescence and as young adults with any of this kind of VERY HEALTHY advice. I certainly wished someone had talked about these things to me when I was young. Such important advice that I missed out on. I pray for your dearest husband to get better! Also praying for your marriage, and for your whole little family, Caitlin❤ (Yes, please do more of these videos! You do have a wonderful way of explaining things logically and I think it will help MANY women to understand how important our choices are. It could literally save our lives, I truly believe that. And at the least, save us from much pain and sorrow in our future lives!). God bless you dear Caitlin❤
I also dont feel attracted about a Christian man that is emotional and a singer kind of😂. I hope for a husband like yours😊. Loved this video. Thankful💜
I love these tips Caitlin! I am divorced but would love to meet a godly man again someday. Also I will pray for your husband, for healing and relief from pain. I understand the struggle of recovering from surgery. I am doing the same thing. I accidentally cut a tendon on my foot (a knife fell on my foot) and had surgery to repair it. It is hard to be patient as I recover, but I know God is teaching me things in this season. I pray you see God’s goodness at work in the season of rest and healing you guys are in as well. 💕🙏💕
Loved this video, such great advice! ♥️ my man's always my biggest fan and support but also pushes me to do new things, our shared sense of humour and love for the outdoors is so special to me too❤
He is your husband if: 1. Pays. Always. For everything. Never hesitates to pay. Unless you insist insist:) 2. Protects - physically, emotionally, etc. 3. Plans. 4. Pampers. 5. Communicates clearly and logically. And isn't afraid of your feminine "illogicallities";) 6. There's a mutual physical and intellectual attraction and common life goals. 7. Nothing irritates him in you, and you in him. Even when you're both raw yourselves.
I just loved this video! ❤ I’ve always loved your prospective on relationships, and dating. I’m single, have always wanted to married, and I sooo identify with what you said about always wanting a husband. Your advice definitely helps to un-complicate a dating environment that can seem veeery complicated now a days.
I love how you talk about your husband with such respect, admiration, warmth, and honesty. Being able to show and appreciate his good qualities is really refreshing to see :)
Thank you Mrs. Midwest for sharing this, what a treasure and encouragement it is to me and so many others! I praise God that He brought you and your husband together. Praying for your husband's total healing and for the Lord to comfort and provide for all you and your family needs. Thank you Mrs. Midwest for your beautiful ministry, when I watch your videos I can feel your genuine love and desire to bless your viewers. God bless you : )
I really appreciate you for sharing this insight and your experience. Now I know that my only ex gf from 9 years ago when we met at age 18 in college is the one God appointed for me. Your testimony is what she experienced with me as well treasuring my personality, soul, and faith. I understand her thoughts, feelings, love, admiration, and respect for me a lot better now until life circumstances separated instead of falling out of love. Recently though I have been having a strong desire that I can’t get rid of to reach out to her again and reconnect while focusing on my purpose and self.
Sorry, female hypergamy is not only real, it's NOT a female wanting to "admire" a man. Giselle had the epitome of males in Tom B. Rich, handsome, famous, she even admitted that he was a good father and attentive to her when they were together. But because of her female hypergamy, that wasn't enough! Christy Brinkley was the same way, married millionaires and still wasn't enough. They've had the "hardest time" because she had to up her game because he was "injured". But let him be injured enough to lose his job. Maybe lose the house. It won't just be "hard". She'll be gone just like most amercanized females out there. Who only hear half of the wedding vows. They hear, the for BETTER, not worst, they hear the for RICHER, not poorer, They hear to LOVE, but not to obey. The don't hear in sickness(major), they hear in health. So, this one is showing in this video that she'll be like all the rest and eventually be another in the statistic of the 80% of americanized females who file for divorce because they didn't FEEL something or other and try to take half of her husbands income, keep the house and file for child support and this poor shlub will be wondering what hit him.
Thank you for making this video! I am in the dating pool and it's so helpful to hear how a healthy relationship should look. Also, where did you get your top? It's so cute!
this is such great advice! I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now and we're discerning marriage! this just reassured me so much, I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with him
I was trying to find the video where you shared some things to pray over your future hubby. I thought there was some really godly and practical tips and things to pray over.
I am 25 and wish to be married soon🥺your videos helped so much to be more feminine and a homemaker, even though I am single. I hope and pray I will meet the one I can do life with🥰❤like you and your husband! I’ve been following you since you didn’t have kids and you were painting and spending a lot of time nurturing your hobbies🥰it really inspired me😍 Sending love and blessings to your lovely family!💗💐
Prayers to you both 🙏 Loved this video - been following you for a few years and a lot of what you say I can relate to . Hope your husband has a speedy recovery ❤️🩹 and thanks for sharing with us all.
I hope you know you are doing such important work through your blog and channel!! Have you considered for your boys/what is your opinion on homeschooling?
Very articulate! I agree with what you laid out but I was not able to express it! Thank you! ❤️ You are so blessed and I pray you will continue to be blessed!
I love how well you articulated admiring someone and the role that plays in being able to respect them! All of the reasons you listed out were also the reasons I knew my husband was “the one”. However, we were friends for over 2 years before I had a sort of awakening that made me realize he was the most amazing guy I knew because all those things were true about him and in the relationship we had built as friends. Crazy enough what caused that awakening was actually having a dream about him. When I woke up from that dream I felt like God had lifted a veil up from over my eyes and for the first time I was able to see him for the gem he is. I had that awakening about 2 months before he came home from school, and we started dating a month after he got back. We are about to celebrate our 5th anniversary and have two precious kiddos and I can still say with confidence that he was the right choice for me! 😍
I agree with many of your points - finding someone I genuinely admire, will listen to me and be patient, is generous, is independent and will be honest when I'm wrong, and who I genuinely feel a physical attraction for are things I've always been looking for. It's soooo hard to find though :(
Hi Caitlin, I just wanted to comment in general that I love all your videos and what you do for this community. Your outlook on life and the lifestyle you live just speaks to me a lot and I have found so much inspiration and comfort from your videos. And great advice aswell. Whenever I need a pick me up or need some cheering up, I watch your videos. They just give me this courage to continue to take action in my life to do the things I need to do for my wellbeing. I wanna thank you for making these videos❤️ I’m looking forward to see more 😊💕
1 Corinthians 11:3, KJV But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. As women we have a choice. Take your time. Test the spirit. Pray for discernment to choose wisely.
