How I Met Your Mother - Lily, The Perfect Family Woman 

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I loved how Lily and Marshall were the most stable couple. They compromised and communicated well, and most of their problems were realistic, such as life goals clashing or finances.

Rewatching the show, you can just TELL that this was written by two guys. As much as I loved Lily AND Robin you could tell that they were written by dudes by the way they were always PUNISHED for choosing career over love, showed as "the bad guy" in most fights, and the way they glossed over Ted's very problematic views of women and Nice Guy behaviour (probably because they identified with him). The San Francisco thing was terribly mistreated (with the notable exception of Barney). The sacrifices Lily ALWAYS made, the way SHE supported Marshall through college, all of that was glossed over, while them going to Italy was shown as Marshall's ultimate sacrifice for his family.

As a former high school teacher, ruling out names of former students is common and doesn't mean you hate your job. I loved the job, my students were great but there were students who yeah, not naming my kids after them.

I feel like Lily is also a mom of the group. She is worried about their feelings most of the time and was the one to help to stop fights etc

While my love for some characters went up and down throughout the seasons, Lily and Marshall I loved all the way through. I especially appreciated that rather than ruining their relationship with some stupid cheating storyline to keep the plot interesting, their problems were more realistic like having different career dreams or money problems

I think Lily puts forth the idea that family and friendship too is hard work. She is undoubtedly the most complex, interesting character on the show. It is easy to hate on her for the shopping and San Francisco but when you pointed out her neuroticism, it makes so much more sense. She is the charcter that I now relate to the most on this show.

I found it refreshing that unlike most sitcoms, Lily wasn't immediately forgiven by Marshall and Ted for abandoning their friend group and leaving Marshall. She had to genuinely work to get back into their good books, and we see the impact that her abrupt departure had on Marshall.

I'm glad your talking about Lily, she gets a lot of hate from fans due to the way she acts, but so do the others and I feel like ppl don't see that's her character. She's flawed, like everyone else.

I love Lily. I always think of the scene where she tells Ted that sometimes she wish she wasn't a mom, because being vulnerable is very brave, and she reminds us that we can't be perfect, we are humans.

It's true that Lily is often shown to me manipulative, but just as often her social and emotional intelligence is presented as her being the smartest person in the group. I'd even go as far as saying, that Lily was the one who taught that understanding social dynamics is intelligence

She’s the leader of the group. Every character goes to her for advice. Barney confides in her first about his feelings for Robin, asks her to go to the cardiologist with him, Robin shares her feelings for Ted with her first, Ted constantly asks for a “ruling” from her over what he should do, & Marshall obviously values her options over anyone else’s. She’s the one with the camera in the opening sequence! Such an interesting character.

I find it funny that she admits that her mum was such a stereotypical feminist that she wouldn’t get her an easybake for Christmas, it proves that her feminine qualities are her own choosing

I never felt like she sacrificed her professional dreams for a more domestic life. What I love about Lily and other characters in this show, is that they show the reality that not everyone can achieve their more idealistic dreams. They could have said that if she just tried really hard she could have made it, but irl trying hard is not always enough, especially in a field like art. Instead, I love the approach that sometimes happiness and fulfillment don't come as we imagined, but that doesn't mean are less valuable.

The Show is about Marshall and Lily, Ted and the mother were plot device, the show covers everything from how the first met till the end, it's impossible to have a relationship without a fight and problems but how Lily and Marshall dealt with it makes them the realistic part of the show, every time I rewatch the show I do it because of Marshall and Lily

In lily's front porch fantasy I always wondered where Barney was, I've suspected that she may have killed him at times.

As much as I dislike Lily sometimes, I always found it unfair that she got so much hate for San Francisco. She has been with Marshall for such a long time, I think it's pretty valid that she asked herself who she actually was outside of the relationship, before she married him. She might not have choosen the ideal way to find out, but that's life. Opportunities don't always come at the best time. And I think that she got so much hate for choosing herself and her dreams over Marshall when she went to San Francisco is also mysoginistic. I doubt that Marshall would have gotten the same amount of backlash if he was the one who had taken a I-need-to-find-myself break.

This is such a frustrating take. They make tremendous strides to discuss Lily's professional dreams. She DOES sell her paintings to make money to fix their apartment. She breaks up with Marshall to pursue her art. She becomes an art consult and it's the catalyst for their biggest fight. Her entire arc is combining her professional ambitions with her domestic homedom.

"Marahall and I have been together 15 years and the only debate we've had about Tommy boy is whether it's awesome or super awesome. That's love, bitch."

Marshall is the most decent guy in the show by far, but not the angel most people who enjoy the show portray him to be. He constantly makes decisions as important as quitting his job without consulting his wife, Lily, and just expects her to support him while he finds what he really wants to do. Also he lies to her by omission, making her believe he will only work at the bank for a couple of years when he's actually considering working there for the rest of his life. He also is willing to do whatever it takes to have a boy instead of a girl because he is afraid his daughter would end up being "a slut" because of his bad parenting. Again, when he is offered to become a judge and accepts he hides it from Lily. He also makes a bet with Barney in which he would "allow him to see his Lily's breasts" without consulting her about it. In several scenes (even during the times in which Marshall is unemployed) we see Lily doing ALL the house chores around the apartment WHILE Marshall watched TV or plays games with Ted. "Relationship Goals", "Perfect Relationship" my ass 🤮🤮

I think if anything, the message the show gives us at the end is that life isn't over at 30 or 40 or 50 or when you have kids or when you get married or when you get divorced... there will be changes, and decisions you made once might make sense to revisit again when things change again. While Lily gives up a lot for her family in her early 30s, she doesn't have to give up on that art career forever. That very same day that Ted stands under Robin's window again could be the day that Lily submits a painting she made in her spare time to a gallery show that gets her noticed....

I'll admit that I wasn't a huge fan of HIMYM but Lily was absolutely my favorite character. Then again, I adore Allison Hannigan in everything so...

Rewatching the show nearly ten years after it finished, I find I really relate to Lily these days. I’ve been in a monogamous long-term relationship since I was 20. I always loved kids and wanted to be a mom, whilst also dreaming of being an artist, to the point where I almost left my relationship to pursue art early on. I also make the least money out of my friends and partner. But I finally got to work as an artist and became a mum… and some days I find myself struggling to love my job and of course I adore my daughter, but like most people in their 30’s, there are paths you wish you’d taken. Sometimes I wish I’d done more with my art career, and even though I love being a mum, it turns out I’m not as homely and maternal as I thought I’d be, and I want more from my job. Which is where I would love to see a female character in future who can be a mum AND have a career. Lily was a great mum, and Robin was a great career woman, but why do woman have to be one or the other? Why can’t they be both?

Lily is probably my favourite character of the show. And I'm saying that as someone who never wanted kids, taught kindergarten and hated it, doesn't like to cook or bake, lol.

I like the fact that you pointed out that Lily didn't really have tangible goals. Yes, her goal was to be an artist but it was left too vague and she never really discussed her steps to how she's going to make it happen.

Every character in this show had very evident flaws, which is why we like it so much, we relate. But I do believe they did Lily dirty, they reduced her to only Marshall's girlfriend and at one point she didn't have any interests, she was just the partner. When she left for SF I thought they were going to give her a unique storyline like Robin's, I was very disappointed when she ended up back to Marshall's side and then they turned everyone against her by implying her family was a "consolation prize" when the only thing she did was having normal feelings. She deserved better.

Being an art teacher who never creates their own art anymore … very relatable content

I never understood why lily got so much shade. I mean, she was the mom of the group and most of the time voice of reason. Yes there are times she can be a little unreasonable and who can forget szn 1 finale. but lily did put her own needs to the side for a long time for the sake of her relationship and eventual marriage. Don’t get it twisted, as a renowned skeptic on love..I’ve always loved lily and Marshall’s relationship

JUSTICE FOR LILY! The fandom hate her so much it's ridiculous.

Best character on the show. She was loyal, fierce and honest. And Marshall and Lily will always be our relationship goals

The only reason Lilly was bi is because of recall gag to Buffy. As well as "You're dead to me" look. If You think about it Alyson Hannigan had an excellent career playing two iconic TV characters for 16 years.

On that note could we talk about how unfairly mistreated Lilly was by the end of the first season when she wanted to take the risks for her dreams and Marshal, selfishly, demanded that she gave up on that or the marriage? Gosh, back in 2006 I argued with so many people about it, people constantly labeled Lilly as the selfish one. Just postpone the marriage, gawd damit.

Marshmallow and Lillypad forever

Everyone forgets that Marshal would leave his well paying job at GNB, for a volunteer position at Natural Resources Defense Council, and even hosts his home for the NRDC fundraiser. Their trip to Spain is canceled and Marshal stopped trying to have a family with Lily. Lily remained supportive for as long as she could. Yes she snapped and almost ran off to Spain but she's had Marshal's back since San Francisco. Probably even before then since I think she and Ted where the only one's holding a job while Marshal studied law.

I actually think it was good for lily to find out if she could really make it as an artist instead of her regretting not taking a chance it may have left Marshall feeling alone but it was good for her for being selfish.

I love Lily, not just because of how real she is with everything she's going through, she is also the unofficial leader of the group, the big sister, the mother, the voice of reason and also the scariest one. Also love how even though she reminds me of a Monica/Phoebe hybrid she also has a firey touch from Bernadette (TBBT) another one of my favorites

she's far from perfect and that's why i love her

I love Lily so much, she seems real

Lily and Marshall are my favourite characters in the show. My husband and I have been together since we were 15, so we are a lot like them. Though it's impossible to be as sweet as they are)

I kinda have to disagree. Lily did not have a typical feminine upbringing. Her mother was a feminist, working two jobs (if I remember correctly), her father raised her while making board games, she also never got an easy bake oven because her mother said that propagates gender roles and stereotypes. Also Lily was a punk as a teenager, influenced by grunge for sure because she dated Scooter since he resembled Kurt Cobain. Even in college you can see that when she meets Marshall for the first she still has the punk persona (with the hair and makeup). In my opinion, she evolved into this feminine persona, like the one you're describing, as her relationship with Marshall started to blossom. Maybe not in a bad way, but definitely different from what she used to be. Like how most IRL relationships can change people, for the better or for worse.

I don't understand why Lily is the one criticized so much in the show. She has flaws, but so does every other character on the show and every human being. Lily is such an entertaining, funny, sweet and realistic character and you explored that so well in the essay, I appreciate it! She's definitely the one who keeps the group together and sane, even if her methods may be a bit insane. Her domestic and professional struggles were explored so well in this video!

Dude I completely forgot about Lily's feelings for Robin!!!

It kinda hurts thinking that the one person she thought would've been an excellent match for Ted didn't get to be on that front porch 🙁

Loved this analysis, I just wish you had included the "Sometimes I wish I wasn't a mom" scene. That breaks my heart every time I watch it.

Why does everyone seems to forget that Marshall was the one insisted and eventually convinced Lily to go to Italy, even though she had already said no for literally him??? The show portrays their argument as if Marshall's doing a great sacrifice for going where he WANTED TO GO for a whole year.

I love Lily. A regular housewife and mother. I've made that choice she has and I don't regret it.

As always, I love the videos. However, I feel like the sponsor ads cut into them way too roughly. A better segway into them, a change in speaking tone or music may help with that, but as it is now it feels like how TV ads interrupt a show mid sentence.

such a insightful, interesting character study of one of my favorite comfort characters!

i feel like its worth mentioning too, in the finale as we fast forward through the next ~20 years of the gangs life, the only thing we really see unfold in lily's life is her having a third child with marshall. we see how everyone else's career progresses except for lily's, it's never brought up.

They did Lilly dirty in season 2. The whole pressuring her to get married because the "impossible to get" marriage hall or whatever the venue was, had an opening in like two weeks' time. 🙄 Instead of supporting Lilly on her art dream, Marshal acts like there's no possible way they could have a happy future if she "ran off for some hobby" that summer. Everything centered around what he wanted and not what she wanted. The show punished her for straying from the "tradition" (read: Outdated bullshit) role of girlfriend, something that this channel pointed out with Robin when she wanted something, the show punished her for straying from her "expected" role. So what if her summer away led to her not wanting to come back? People can grow and change when their lives aren't wasting away in servitude to capitalism's greed. It would have meant Marshal and Lilly could have pursued their own interests without holding each other back and maybe one day they would find each other again. As it turns out, regardless of how people reacted to her paintings, it was a time for her to explore the things she wanted and they still got married even if it wasn't the stupid venue they wanted. Why do people insist on making such a big deal for what is nothing more than a party? One that is likely to happen more than once because of the bogus ideas of what marriage is supposed to be, and that usually leaves women holding the short end of the stick.

Interesting and nuanced take on the Lily character. In my life, I feel like I married someone with a lot of Lily's traits and it's interesting to see how this plays out for a character on screen.

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I would love if The Take analyzed the core 5 of One Tree Hill.

Alyson did this character so much justice. Goddamn my heart still shatters a bit at the scene 14:40 and when she says sometimes she wishes she wasn't a mom. And truely that's what I love this show. It shows real problems, not just mainly focus on love and sex, break up and cheating.

I agree on Lily being the least funny and and also most annoying one of the group but I still have a feeling the show punished her for wanting to succeed, it also happens to Robin for choosing career over love. That's whack because her feelings at the season 1 finale were 100% valid, what she did wrong was not contacting Marshall and the others while being on San Francisco

Lily gives good advice most of the time and is a very good partner, yet if she was real i don't think i would like to have her as a friend,leave alone a family member. She meddles with everyone´s private life and can't be trusted with a secret unless it´s hers .But as a character she is pretty fine

I love this channel channel it keeps doing videos about my favourite TV show of all time

Lily is by far my favorite character on the show, she is just plain awesome! Shes the only character I really respect throughout every single episode. She is Legen, wait for it, dary.

I am a Lilly, I realize: I love all my friends, wish they were closer to me and wish we didn't have to compromise our dreams to be more practical adults😔 I also have many dreams, and I want to reach them all, but also I'd like to settle down as well.

Interesting video, I'm so tired of people hating on Lily as she may have done some things that weren't great but Barney and Ted did lots of super questionable things and Marshall was sometimes nice but made plenty of mistakes and was a bit dismissive of her dreams of pursuing a career in the art world, which feels unfair as he got to be a lawyer and even a judge like he wanted and got to have career success but Lily wasn't often valued or respected and sacrificed more of her own professional goals and dreams than the others.

we need a video on marshall too! he was equally perfect

I watched this show with my family growing up and I always saw Lily as an icon

I just finished watching The Office a month ago, but I watched HIMYM in college (around 7 years ago). How is it only now that I'm seeing the parallels between Lily and Pam?

can you guys please do a video on how all the female characters on how i met ur mother are caricatures of the “perfect female”, lily is the domestic goddess, robin is the cool girl and tracy is the quirky nerdy girl and how it’s just SO obvious they were all written by men

Lily was my favorite character in the series.

OK, I just saw myself in Lily. no wonder i love this show lol!

Re-watching _You're The Worst_ now, which would make for great analysis by _The Take_ .

I've never seen this show. I just like to watch The Take! I find it interesting that Lily is implied to be bisexual, but that it isn't (apparently?) confirmed. I really wish there were more bisexual representations like this - of married and/or committed bisexual partners in long-term relationships - and I wish they were explicitly stated to be bi. The stereotypes about bi folks being indecisive cheaters are really pernicious but, for many, the experience is more like what The Take is describing with Lily: they continue to experience attraction after committing to a mate, but they don't act upon those attractions because bi people, like any other people, are totally capable of maintaining long-term romantic commitments (if they so choose). Now, because I've never seen the show, I don't know if Lily or Marshall ever cheated. If they did, though, it is still important to show that being treated as a symptom of issues within the relationship, as could happen in any relationship, and not as a natural consequence of one partner's bisexuality. I want bi representation that is... kind of boring, honestly. I want bi representation in which the story is not laser-focused on the character's bisexuality, but on other aspects of the character's life.

seeing this reminded me of how horrible wigs were in how i met your mother

Them playing up Lily being bi for laughs is annoying on rewatch. Lily is clearly bi, but then they try to walk it back by acting like her attraction to Robin fading because of kiss lacking in chemistry removes her bisexuality. Probably because they only wanted to play it as punchline.

lily is the best

For me the main theme in HIMYM is our live never work out like our dream or plan. There are so many line in the show say something like “ But that’s not how life works”, either from the character arc side or the ending

LOVE IT- Now can you do a video about lily and Barney?

You guys! You need to do a character analysis of someone in Seinfeld. PLEASE!

I am dying to be this woman.

Marshall is the best partner. I only got mad when he said the "consolation prize" thing especially because Lily was thinking she was pregnant.

Going to San Francisco to chase your dreams or canceling the marriage because you have serious second thoughts is absolutely understandable and in hindsight a very good choice. The problem is that she left Marshall alone and in pieces and didnt even call him in those 3 months, to check if he is alright. She didnt have any contact with her friends at all, and didnt care about Marshalls feelings. After that, she immediately wanted to get back together with Marshall, thinking he has zero self respect and then she was mad that he refused (brunch episode). The episode that made me realize though that Lily is a selfish, manipulative person is their "wedding" in Atlantic city: She knew Marshalls wedding dreams and knows that Marshall loves his family and friends over everything, but decided to dodge their previous wedding plans, so she wouldnt have to face Marshalls family and friends. The credit card story, where she wants her husband working in a job he despises because of her fuckup, but then after a few seasons changes her mind and wants him to work as an Environmental lawyer or the Italy story just shows what a grinch she really is. Marshall was definitely the settler and deserved wayyy better.

I would like to see a video about characters that have those "undesirable" professions. Even as a child I remember to feel bad for the character considered to be a looser because he was working as a bartender. I always wondered, what if a real life bartender is watching this? It's such a capitalist/American dream ideolody. I am a preschool teacher and I couldn't be happier! My work makes my life better!!

I think Lily could have gotten more out of her professional life as an artist if she asked more support from Marshall. The times when she made great strives in her goals in art was when he gave her the support she needed. Like when he helped her sell painting to vet clinics or had her go to Italy and overcome her fear. She kept too much to her comfort zone alone. Also I always believed that Lily is the reacher and Marshall was the settler because like Barney told her he's an amazing guy that any woman will appreciate and never let go.

I love Lily, she was my favourite Character in HIMYM ❤️

The Lily and Mickey storyline is sweet.

Please do one or more about the characters of One Tree Hill 😭

Lily is the best character on the show

I could never be Lily. If a man makes me give up MY dream for his, we’re done. Why? Because he’s assuming and showing me that he thinks he’s more important. I’d rather die alone.

Can you do an episode on the idea of Ted being a reliable narrative and how that may come across in each of the characters

As someone who enjoys a lot of traditionally feminine activities and aesthetics, I love seeing traditionally feminine traits in women not being vilified as they often are in modern media

Lilly is for sure canonically bi.

Leaving your fiancé to become a painter in San Francisco is a horrible thing to do. Although Lilly eventually became a good wife to Marchall, she is lucky he took her back 👀

After Life by Ricky Gervais in Netflix shows how it would actually be like after losing your soulmate to cancer.

Perfect in the eyes of who exactly?

Video on SMG and now Alyson Hannigan, back to back? I smell a Buffy video very soon…

I don't know how it works in the U.S. but would it really be possible to be a kindergarten teacher when you've studied art history? In my country you need a special college education to do so. I know this show is fiction, but it shows that in reality women like Lily have even less options in the workforce.

Lily is great, but Linda Belcher is the greatest TV mom/wife of all time.

Very interesting video! I was wondering if you guys could allow other users to add subtitiles to your videos in general? I always find myself wanting to share these videos with people I know but I live in Italy and not everyone speaks fluent English, so I wish I could add subs

i am such a lily

Wow Ted called it Marshall dies at 68

Just because Lily’s goals may not match ours, does not make her a lesser person.

Lily’s job as a kindergarten teacher always really annoyed me. Lily seems to be the ONLY person working in that kindergarten and several times, Lily is shown leaving the children alone or with Marshall. I live in the UK so I don’t know what the rules are for a kindergarten teacher are in the US but she shouldn’t be leaving those children alone or with untrained people. Lily is shown doing things like throwing colouring books at the kids, telling them to colour and then running off, leaving them alone so that she can do other stuff. Did Marshall have first aid training? What happens if a child gets hurt when Marshall or nobody is keeping an eye of them? What about contacting parents in an emergency? What happens if a child eats something they are allergic to because nobody is there to stop them or because Marshall doesn’t know what they’re allergic to? I like to think she didn’t really do those things and it’s just Ted making things up when he’s talking about events he didn’t actually witness. If she did do those things, Lily is a terrible person and she shouldn’t be allowed to look after children.

can you please do a video on 'one tree hill' characters?

It can be tricky analysing sit coms. Lily objection to some child names based on bad behaviour is a joke. I don't think it is really part of her trajectory.