How INFPs Sabotage Love

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Want to understand and embrace your INFP personality? Go here: infp.geekpsychology.com
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If you’re new to Geek Psychology, my name is Matt Sherman. People call me Sherman. I'm a personality type expert, life coach, hypnotist, author, podcaster, and course creator. I help mainly INFPs embrace their unique strengths and navigate life's challenges. Through practical strategies and deep insights, I aim to help people like you live a more fulfilling and authentic live where you can wake up and feel good about who you are and your impact on the world. Welcome to Geek Psychology, where we help geeks, gamers, and creatives unleash the strengths of their personality types so they can live more fulfilling lives. In this video, we're going to discuss why INFPs often struggle in relationships and what they can do to overcome those challenges.
As an INFP myself, I know firsthand how difficult it can be to find someone who truly understands us. We crave deep connections and resonating souls, but that can be hard to achieve when we don't understand ourselves fully, let alone another person. But fear not, I'm here to provide you with some insights and tips to help you navigate your relationships more smoothly.
In this video, we'll cover:
The unique challenges that INFPs face in relationships
The importance of understanding both your own and your partner's personality type
Tips for finding a partner that complements your personality type
Strategies for building strong and lasting relationships
If you're tired of relationships never working out well, or if you just want to learn more about how to make your relationships thrive as an INFP, then this video is for you. So sit back, relax, and let's dive in!
#geekpsychology #INFP #personalitytype #relationships #love #dating #compatibility #psychology #selfimprovement #geeks #gamers #creatives #mentalhealth #wellness #selfcare #mindfulness #empathy #emotions #introvert #resonatingsoul #ENFJ #INFJ #ISFP #selfawareness #communication #intimacy #partnership #trust #support #growth #fulfillment
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Disclaimer: These are my opinions. If you have a serious issue, go see a doctor. I'm sharing these because I have a lot of experience and I want to do my best to help where I can and make an impact in the best way that I can.

Опубликовано:

5 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 98

@anarocha3409 Год назад

"The desire for deep connection but people don't want it right away" That's one of the big challenges I've been facing lately ;-;

@GeekPsychology Год назад

It still happens with me sometimes. I’m like “I just met you all but guess what embarrassing thing I did?!” -_-

@moonchildsnjs Год назад

Damn true

@2300esKC Год назад

I truly feel your pain. It's the same for me as an INFP-A male. I tend to get straight to the deep end of the person's entire being and I think it gives off a "You move to fast" vibe.

@nonplussed7181 Год назад

@@2300esKC same here dude. It's very frustrating

@jeplica7011 10 месяцев назад

Imagine being an Olympic swimmer and diver. But you are absolutely exhausted from the recovery and damage you get from every time you dive in a pool other than your own, they lied and said there isn't piranha or brain eating amoeba and all types of predatory hungry creatures. But there always are. And mostly they knew about it and didn't want you to see it, just dive and catch them on the way up for air, deal with it later, acclimate to it. Would that make sense to why someone would be hesitant to fast commitment, or evacuation at the first red flag?

@infpreflections Год назад

I think INFPs can have a pretty frustrating love life. They idealise a perfect romance but there are few that fit their ideals. Romance for a single INFP is idealising what could be but living in the actual world which is flawed. This isn't even considering how picky an INFP is.

@GeekPsychology Год назад

I don’t think anyone can actually live up to the ideals that we have

@infpreflections Год назад

@@GeekPsychology We can usually live up to our own standard.

@highcaliber350 9 месяцев назад

@@infpreflectionsI definitely can't 😂

@themacocko6311 7 месяцев назад

@@infpreflectionsAH, no.

@jeanette2475 Год назад

As an INFP starting to date again after a hermit-like "hiatus" this came at a great time!

@catharinamariatheresia1626 2 месяца назад

I am an ENFJ and I love your energy! You radiate such a warmth, joy and depth. It is something I also feel with my INFP friends. I love them so much. Just listening to you makes my heart feel at home… 🎉 Oh I just decided that with my next partner I wish to feel the way I feel when I listen to you! So smooth and calming 💕

@pamelaboswell9715 Год назад

I fell in love with another INFP, and it imploded like Atreyu’s mirror challenge from Neverending Story.

@FreeSoul605 3 месяца назад

What happened? 😢

@pamelaboswell9715 3 месяца назад

@@FreeSoul605 I don’t really know. He was there and then he blew cold. I don’t know if it was me, or he chickened out. Maybe both, maybe neither. I can’t say I really know. He’s the only one who does.

@thequeen901 2 месяца назад

@@pamelaboswell9715Got a similar thing going on right now

@ver_nick Год назад

As an INFP thank you so much for sharing this. Knowing that I'm not the only one helps.

@GeekPsychology Год назад

You’re welcome! You’re not the only one!

@diai557 Год назад

The background is... Wow from fellow INFP

@GeekPsychology Год назад

Thanks! I smiled when I made it.

@jbrubin8274 Год назад

I definitely struggled with understanding how my eagerness to be open as a way to show I was interested in hearing about who they were. Was seen as too much. Although I can manage it better now, it’s still something I have to remember. For awhile, knowing that I had to change my approach to any possible relationships, be they friend, close friend, romantic, etc. really threw me off. It took time to accept it was okay that I always have to keep that in mind. Now when I do happen to find someone I get along with I know not to push it. Along with if they turn out to be someone who becomes close, then I do have some room to surprise them with a little gift and it’s not weird. Also- Personally I find writing key, ever since I was a child, that was where I could spill everything in my brain out then have a re-look. I didn’t know it until quite recently that I was also teaching myself how to mask. But whatever the reason, sometimes just writing it down is enough to avoid a blow-up, you never wanted to happen. Or organize your thoughts enough to express what your needs are calmly and clearly, which isn’t often our strength.

@GeekPsychology Год назад

Yes writing is extremely helpful for organizing thoughts and self-discovery.

@Komorebidreams 4 месяца назад

Yes, I’ve started to journal for 10 minutes every morning as a way to purge my emotions and gain insights on my relationship to people and work. It takes less off the other person to understand what I am trying to say. Great point.

@selexssalami4095 Год назад

Thank you so much for your videos. It has been helping me (ENFJ) save my relationship with my INFP partner. You videos have been a huge help for me to understand him better. Keep up the great work!

@GeekPsychology Год назад

Wonderful! Thanks for sharing and best of luck in your relationship!

@brianolson620 3 месяца назад

I resonate most with, " hmm. Not sure where I'm going with this" statement in the middle of the video lol

@themacocko6311 7 месяцев назад

I didn't know INFP'S had relationships 😮

@INFP_Growth 7 месяцев назад

Working on some self-development after a difficult breakup, I found two things particularly helpful: 1. see a therapist - an unbiased objective point of view from a trained professional can provide enormous insight into your behaviors. continue therapy even while actively dating to gain similar insight. 2. educate yourself to the 4 common attachment styles - it's advised to learn your romantic interest's attachment style early on. just ask them. when you are familiar with what to expect from common traits associated with certain attachments, you'll be better prepared for how they can or will react to certain situations. you'll also have more realistic expectations of how they may interact via text for example (ie. lots of emojis and energy quick to respond, vs plain and simple responds when convenient etc). Being aware of your partner's attachment style and knowing how to navigate all the turns without veering off course is one of the best ways to maintain intimacy. We all need the connection and separation and reconnection and reseparation. Keep that balance.

@KimayaParjane 6 месяцев назад

I(an INFP) recently realized about my tendency to sabotage a relationship. I managed to tank my recent relationship and it has been a really painful healing journey. Your video reaffirmed few of the traits I displayed during that time. Thank you for this helpful information. I am working hard to become a healthier version of myself now.

@GeekPsychology 6 месяцев назад

Next time will be better ^^

@superlyobsessed Год назад

This is spot on for me, every single point 😅 thank you!!

@GeekPsychology Год назад

Thanks!

@ADSNavarro Год назад

My mom and my best friend are ENFJs and I have a great relationship with both of them, now I know why

@creatureofstyle 5 месяцев назад

🫂 from an ENFJ 😊

@fremmer007 Год назад

Im really struggling with limerance and its using up all my energy, much to my regret. And its kind of funny, because I have been getting a lot of attention lately, so its not entirely impossible to connect with people. I guess its my old nemesis "getting out of my comfort zone" that I need to deal with. Its much more comfortable to have a pretend relationship with a make-believe person than actually connecting with someone. *sigh🙄

@SeelenTaucher Год назад

Uh Nemesis, so U watched NGE? Shinji is infp with lots of true hard inner Struggles.

@GeekPsychology Год назад

I guess the question is, “when is it comfortable?” :) I say embrace the chaos!

@Pandatwirly Год назад

I’m struggling with limerance as well. After learning about it I’m struggling to trust myself. This sucks 💗

@fremmer007 Год назад

@@Pandatwirly it does suck. I think its a defence mechanism. Or maybe extreme control. But its not ever a good solution in the long run. U just end up feeling empty inside. Because the relationship was never really there..

@nicoleioannou8427 6 месяцев назад

I have only just found out what my personality type is, and this video just described me, I need those creative endeavours. I do crave deep connections on a soul level so much, but I’m also scared to open up and share what is going on for me. Unless I feel safe and trust the other person completely which trust is the fundamental challenge for me.

@mathewerven9 3 месяца назад

I just had a relationship end again. The kicker is we were both INFP'S and I learn more about myself and everyone else I think our shadow sides have blindsided us.

@SeelenTaucher Год назад

Thank u so much 4 Sharing your experiences. Might Help lots Out there to understand better. 🌎☺️💖👍🏻 Congrats. Gives introverted (intuitive) (Feelers) Hope.I personally appreciate you as infp talking about Soul and Spirit. Like that depth much. 🌟🌌🥰

@SeelenTaucher Год назад

Especially for intuitive Feelers the holistic (at Times Idealistic) approach of self and World might be challenging, but some might Not settled 4 less, at least I Not would settled 4 less, but Being Patient with Growth of Souls is so Important, that is what learned: Dont be 2 hard on yourself, have Just some fun, be Odd and relax...which might Not be easy, Bit ITS Worth doing. ☺️☺️🥰🌈

@GeekPsychology Год назад

Thanks!

@KMR1776 Год назад

I think I needed to hear this, even though I'm an INFJ

@GeekPsychology Год назад

@ofeliajoan Год назад

Love ❤ it. Ty 🥰

@TheFirstTriplefife Год назад

I've been in a on and off relationship with a INFP over the past decade. I'm a ENTP and when I first met her I was a ENFP. I want to keep the relationship going, but every time something small happens she runs away. I feel that she does this because she is scared, anxious and insecure about herself and the relationship. It doesn't help that her strategy for resolving issues seems to ghosting or the silent treatment as we can't talk it out when she does that. I'd just like some sort of help in figuring out what to do to keep the relationship going. Thanks to anyone who has some advice. I know I'm likely just screaming into the void, but sometimes you got to do it.

@celeste3495 Год назад

Hello, so I'm an INFP women and I understand so much the behavior or your INFP, yes if she runs away it's certainly because she is scared or insecure, and I completely relate on the ghosting and silent thing. If you want to keep the relationship going as an INFP I think you should talk to her honestly, it will be so much easier for her to talk about it if you bring yourself the subject on the table. Make sure she feels okay to talk about it and try to reasure her and the most important is that you have to tell her to be honest for real because most of the time we don't want conflict so we're like oh you're thinking I'm ghosting you ? I'm sorry I didn't do that in purpose, when it's not true and we're really just scared to be honest. Another thing, maybe it's not that at all but a lot of us, INFPs run aways from relationships because at one moment we start to think that we don't worth it, that the person don't really love us, that it can't be real and to save ourself from disappointment and crying all nights because of losing someone because the person at the end didn't love us we just start doing like nothing happened, like the person doesn't exist. I'm french by the way so sorry if what I wrote is unreadable.

@TheFirstTriplefife Год назад

@@celeste3495 thanks for the advice. Its given me a lot to think about and I'll try to express my feelings honestly to her.

@celeste3495 Год назад

@@TheFirstTriplefife you welcome, good luck and I hope it'll work

@mohadeseamiri6992 Год назад

I haven't seen entp's in person but I've talked to them online. I saw them very serious in arguing and that they want to win in every argument. They also don't care about people's feelings when they discuss. This made me feel attacked and insecure with every discussion. What I, as an infp, look for in discussions is a win-win outcome. A result that will keep both of us happy and emotional harmony. For me, what is important is the win of the relationship.

@TheFirstTriplefife Год назад

@@mohadeseamiri6992 yeah, I've been trying to listen more and debate less. I used to be a enfp when I was younger and I trying to get back to that. Just with the added caveat of being wiser and older.

@julieolson1402 2 месяца назад

Fractal people. Wow! So, do we get hyperfractal with some people, but less fractal with others? Would that give us a better, or worse fit, like a puzzle peice? It reminds me of the polarity problem; do opposites attract, or do we find comfort and camaraderie with more similar types? Can MBTI be predictive for attraction/compatibility, or only valuable for analysis after the fact? I'm fine-tuning this point, but the video, as a whole, was quite edifying.

@kimbakotschi Год назад

More like these pls!

@GeekPsychology Год назад

What did you like about it?

@kimbakotschi Год назад

@@GeekPsychology I liked that it gave practical tips as well as a better insight into what INFPs are thinking or feeling when they do something, it reminds me how we think different but similar as an ENFJ

@impressivenow2000 Год назад

0:16 LOL your intonation made me thought of Bob Ross that's so funny

@GeekPsychology Год назад

lol

@nonplussed7181 Год назад

Hey Matt, I'm having a little bit of trouble with something in this video. You mentioned that INFPs want to establish deep connections with other people and so they can sometimes reveal too much of themselves too quickly. But later in the video, you mentioned that we as INFPs need to be more open to help ourselves in relationships. I feel like these two points are counteracting each other. Can you maybe explain in a little more detail what you think we should do? Sorry if I misunderstood anything.

@GeekPsychology Год назад

Too much too quickly vs Opening up in relationships: We are quite contradictory creatures ^^ Meeting someone and enthusiastically and instantly trying to merge souls with them is inappropriate and oversteps what is acceptable in terms of proxemics and just social expectations. And from my experiences in relationships, I don’t often share what the real problems are. I think “well, it’s not gonna kill me.” “I can control my own emotions” “I’ll figure it out myself” “I don’t want to bother them…” Instead of opening up. A lot of it is because I want to handle it myself. A lot is because I don’t want to trouble others. A lot of it is because I’m worried about what’ll happen when I do fully open up. And yet, it should be done ^^

@nonplussed7181 Год назад

@@GeekPsychology thanks!

@jeplica7011 10 месяцев назад

So anyone who hides what they know about what they want you to dive into is either taking orders from what's in the water, or sees you as food for what isn't yet ready to command the vessel, awake or not they see you as food. But get mad when they become aware that kindness wasn't weakness, and their pool is within my ocean and what wasn't eating them before certainly is now and with intent.

@coolbreez 6 месяцев назад

How about INTJ?

@johnsims6702 Год назад

No more wire hangers ❤

@julia.no.X Год назад

All I can say is ❤️.

@GeekPsychology Год назад

I imagined you saying “heart”

@julia.no.X Год назад

@@GeekPsychology Heart full of emotions 🥹

@SeelenTaucher Год назад

I am confused 🥴 Motivation Bell showes me right now Upload, while this Comment Looks "3 days old"

@julia.no.X Год назад

@@Gjakdjruknownhpjs Maybe 🤔❤️.

@SeelenTaucher Год назад

@@julia.no.X Or maybe Julia is His Wife. ☺️😉

@lilac624 8 месяцев назад

Oh you are already married

@enKageKagen 6 месяцев назад

With a strong need of individuality, love and relationships are just too common. If everyone can more or less easily fall in love, why is this feeling supposed to be so exceptional? As an INFP, I look for something more exceptional, and being told for years love/relationship is exceptional, I cannot even recognise IF this "exceptional feeling" comes, at least at the level available for everyone. With so complex feeling, "common love" is not an exceptional feeling at all. It does not necessairly meand the same as "idealising perfect love", it is more like not being able to recognise a feeling, that is in fact dissappointing, because of the idea of love present in social life shared by not feeling types. One of at least 20 reasons (oh yes, Ne comes in play), why it is so hard to be in LTR as an INFP. Don't force me to list the rest.

@julia.no.X Год назад

ISTP!!! 😱 Whyyyyyy? 😭🙄

@GeekPsychology Год назад

@julia.no.X Год назад

@@GeekPsychology Why did I choose an ISTP?

@nickeyfynn3270 6 месяцев назад

Can infp be narcissist's?

@bufficliff8978 5 месяцев назад

Yes

@thegooddoctor5573 Год назад

I'm entering the polyamorous world for the first time, and I hope I can make many deep connections more than the single monogamous lovers I've known.

@Skyflower44 Год назад

This sound like an issue I'm having with my husband lol . Married for 15 years. Babies ect so I've been very home bound . He is INFP I am INFJT lol Madness ! 😂Anyways... He's gone waffy lately with paranoid, needy .. Afraid I will go to another for my adventure side ect. He's wrong. I love him no less than always, more probably ✊💗I'm on the meditation flow and He's just started.. It works .. But nope ! He's hit a wall of “No sense “or something. I'm intro but extro too. He will probably not like my flight after child rearing . He needs to trust the flight. And not become a pull back. A back pack of rocks ect. His ego is taking a hit but its great. He's learning just fine. 👍🤗💭

@Levntna Год назад

As someone deals with relationship anxiety thanks for sharing this, I'm an INFJ-T who fell lately for an INFP-A guy, planning to get married, so far I never heard much of complain about this sweet match, excited and concerned for our life together.

@GeekPsychology Год назад

Thanks for sharing. My INTJ brother in law told my wife that he thinks someday I’ll just vanish. I certainly don’t plan on it, but I can see why he’d think that. Relationships are stressful sometimes (read: often)! INFPs need to get out, but the FiSi loop is so numbing.

@ethandunakin8813 Год назад

Backpacks of rocks used to be loved. I wanted collect forever. But the significance went questioned and sunk in to realize I was cluttering myself in. #INFJ Si Demin

@Skyflower44 Год назад

@@GeekPsychology Yehhh We hit a wall this past week , the Paranoid issue came up and we hashed it out over days . It was difficult but we got there . He’s working on his executive function and proving to see reason . I need to get out more , as my INFJ stuff locks me intro to often so he’s used to me being around too often . Soon as I start to get out and make plans , that’s usually when it all goes off track . I think we’ve got this now 🫡👍🏼💗

@eminemstrash2021 Год назад

INFJ are deluded.

@somebodykind1167 6 месяцев назад

I think infp❤infj relationship is perfect 🫶🏻 they both enjoy themselves together

@GeekPsychology 6 месяцев назад

Certainly can be!

@amyitis 6 месяцев назад

I went on a date with an INFP, and as an INFJ that intensity of depth and soul was appreciated and reciprocated.... I thought it would've been a great relationship pair too....except he was looking to keep his options open and date around. We INFJs are loyal to a fault... even in the beginning stages... some things just don't align