My comment keeps loading on the wrong comment so I am going to try this one more time. This couple were bragging about their large age gap before marriage. He was perfect in her eyes because he was so mature. People warned her because he had more red flags than a Renaissance Faire, but she didn't listen. I think she's finally understanding what everyone was trying to tell her. I don't know if they are going to make it for the long haul because she seems to be waking up.
The guy who left his daughter in the car to nap, 90 degree weather and went to play a video game. Babygirl died. 😢It gets worse because the RESENTMENT builds and builds. RUN!!
From what i see, not some..a LOT. you can tell a lot abt the idiot when u work with customers or deal with lotta patients...u see stupidity and entitlement at work. I seen brats act this way and i look at the mom and see where they get this frm. 🤡
Yeah, as a woman, same. Parents failed me and my brothers, only trained to focus on money. Now i took responsibility and learning to clean after myself, hand wash my clothes always (i prefer it like this) and make my bed properly and change every 4 days...(before i would sleep on it for MONTHS...i cant even see myself doing such thing ever again)
It's still their fault. Let's not give them an immunity for stupidity. After 20 y.o, if you still haven't figured out how to do stuff that you could Google, or having the intelligence to figure out how social skills (like if your partner is busy, to change the diaper), that's on them.
😭😭 this is how I feel with my little brother. Cause if he ever gets into a relationship he better not act like this I know he knows how to clean some dishes!! 😭
The best way is to get them used to doing household chores when they grow up. Children can learn how to do the dishes, vacuum or run a washing machine. The problem is many stay at home moms see these as their duties and don't place any demands on their kids. Then the boys grow up with this image in their minds that women are there to clean after them.
The "leaving stuff out on the counter" after grocery shopping hit hard. I gave my boyfriend ONE BAG of groceries (7 items) to carry inside for me the other day and he left everything out overnight to ruin. His excuse? You didn't tell me to put the food in the freezer. You just said take it inside.
You might want to look inward. Do you like to organize the fridge or freezer before new food goes away? Maybe he was thinking you wanted to do that before it gets put away. I do.
Now see you might as well just live by yourself , cause wtf is the purpose of even dealing with ish like this? I’m not trying to be rude but… I just don’t even get the purpose of having an adult mate around if THIS is what they’re going to bring to “the table”.
@leorising8074 Y’all make the silliest excuses… he couldn’t have just asked her that and simply put them away? This is why men tend to walk all over certain women and do whatever they want. And then the only response to other women who speak up about this is…” that’s why yall are single”. A boyfriend isn’t a husband - for one- and who needs a child , when your partner acts like a child as it is..? Smh
That dude Nick needs to be out of the house and away from them kids because BABY that child in between the couch thing is actually dangerous and he needs to be monitored around kids.
This is next level. Also, the second or third woman saying that “if this person isn’t your husband” - no. I don’t care if you’ve been dating for 3 months or married for 30 years. This shit can no longer be tolerated.
@leorising8074 Date with purpose. You don’t have to live with, and take care of a man as your child before getting to marriage. It’s perfectly fine to actually date, get to know one another , travel with one another and see if you are truly compatible as individuals before getting to marriage. Giving a man your entire body, acting as his mother, taking care of him like your child, allowing him to cheat and “ test “ you for years… doesn’t guarantee marriage either. Maybe eventually you may end up with a “ shut up” ring and a marriage where he just continues bad behavior and simply has you to fall back on, but what real woman actually values some mess like that? A man that needs to completely violate your boundaries for an extended period of time - may not be the best option for marriage in the first place….
I used to watch Roseaane all the time and started watching "The Conners." Dan made a joke to his bestfriend about pretending to not know how to do anything so that Roseanne could do it from then on. That's when I understood.
My younger brother does this ALOT since he could talk. And I picked up on it when I was in middle school. We are 3yrs to apart yet I knew how to wash dishes at his age. So now when it comes to cooking i tell him go watch a video, when it comes to chores I won’t let him go out until he finishes it properly. Ofc now that he has gotten older it’s harder he’ll just do it and leave then I have to come in and actually clean. But I do blame my mom for this cause she would literally beat me to do chores infront of my brothers while they did nothing. And do things for my brothers. Even now she’ll tell me to clean the kitchen after I was at work all day, barely eat so the dishes aren’t mine, and just got home. While my brothers are home. Then she will guilt trip me, so as the petty girl I am I reversed it. I don’t do chores anymore and I don’t allow my mom to guilt me to do it I say what she dosen’t like to hear. But yeah it starts at home moms need to start giving their sons responsibilities.
joke is on your mom because now your brothers do not learn how to respect woman. They are not gonna come remember, visit, or treat her as they can only imagine her caring for them. I've seen it.
@@jessicah3782 They don’t even remember her birthday. It’s really sad because I have to be the one to remind them of special days or hey our mom is super tired can you not yell at the top of your lungs in the middle of the night playing games? And there was a bad time when they were super aggressive and abusive with me. It’s died down but makes me wonder what might happen when they are alone with a girl who gets them super angry or what if they don’t get their way?
The weaponized incompetence is a real thing. We also need to consider how little men care for themselves WITHOUT women in their lives. They survive off the bare minimum. There are guys who won’t even properly take care of themselves unless a woman is involved .i.e bath regularly, have good oral hygiene, wear decent clothing, and clean their homes well, go to the doctor and dentist before things start hurting . So in many cases, a lot of guys are just gross 🤮
I had to tell my husband to brush his damn teeth before bed, like that is disgusting 🤮 you’re definitely getting no sex from me. I didn’t realize all the sht he did on purpose. He left me today. So goodbye 👋🏽
Let me tell you asked these questions before you get married or move in- do you cook, do you clean- do you know how - can you do laundry properly- I dated a guy who didn't cook nor clean nor complete his laundry weekly - I told him I wasn't interested in going further with him🤷🏽♀️
These are all, simply, signs that you need to Dump Him. The husbands? Divorce. Seek sole or primary custody of the children if you wanted them. Get a good lawyer to fight for child support (some work for pro bono!). The boyfriends? Move out, dump, ghost if necessary. These types of men are exhausting and not worth the mental effort it takes to make a relationship work.
@@amakaspot If he's an active father who has shown interest and capability in caring for the kids, then yeah, joint custody would be beneficial. But if he's using weaponized incompetence so hard that it's disrupting family life and is unsafe...I don't know.
@@pimplequeen2 I don't know how well a child would do in the care of a man who has shown he will behave like a toddler to force/trick somebody else to do his chores... And I've seen statistics that show children are better-adjusted when raised by two women (a lesbian couple OR mom and grandma or auntie). Also, as other people have pointed out, it's very common for men to hop from one woman to the next, looking for someone to do housework and childcare. Would it even count as him raising the kids if he just got his new wife or girlfriend to do it?
@@rosethorne9155 Apparently, lesbian couples suffer the worst incidence of domestic violence so I have no idea how they do better than single fathers at inspiring healthy behavior's/ relationships, I will have to look at that. Men tend to have a more rambunctious teaching style, instilling better risk reward calculations and more robust social consequences than women do. Of course, many women will suck the oxygen out of such an idea which is an unhealthy, dishonest habit to pass along (low quality partner qualities) Men aren't perfect but I am afraid to inform you that women are not perfect either. Take the loss and use it to dilute some of your angst towards men. There are things that a lot of men have to deal with that very very few women are aware of.
None of this is by accident. Pretending not to be able is a less confrontational way of saying " you're the servant, I hate you, and the whole point of this relationship was to make you the servant"
Ain't no way! I wish my man would 😂. I can't stand a lazy and stupid person, pick your struggle, you can not be both. I can not be the brain and the bronze in the relationship now. An incompetent partner would be tired of ME, not the other way around. If a man is lazy, get another man to come into your home to do what he won't do (that doesn't mean cheat, hire him, or ask for favors, lol). I guarantee that if your partner wants to stay with you, he'll get up and start doing HIS part when he sees another man doing what he should be doing for you. Two can play that game. 💅🏾
Yes, this is the one, bring another man friend in your home to do the things your man won’t do, and just don’t cheat or be a floozy. Your man WILLLLLLLL GET UP, if he just needed that nudge 😂❤🎉. Happened to me twice, one became a rotten egg. And the other man became a golden goose.🎉
@@freedomdive123 Would it be ok if he brought another women in to sit quietly and relax while watching a movie?... No cheating of course, just chilling out and pleasant conversation.
Or got influenced by a closed relative. Or influenced by bad friends. Even if you as a parent have good morals. If your kid doesn't know how to deal with hardships, it's difficult. My parents had their views and morals. And I dissagreed a lot on politics, health, and how a woman should behave etc. But finding a positive influence without knowing what to look for is definally hard. Before I found the internet I had zero positive influence and couldn't work on my mindset like I do now. Obviously I went to libary but books on self-development were not in the childrens-sections. Please don't blame 100% on the parents. It's a combinations of factors that forms you. Look up a picture of logical niveaus of Bateson & Dilts and that is 1 of the models that can explain part of our human excistance. Poor men and women reflect their own poor identity, values, etc. But where they got that from, isn't said by certainity and doesn't really matter. However you can try timeline exercise to figure out where you've picked up a negative thought. Or you could try adopting better ones. If you look at how hard it is to change yourself. Please don't jugde on parents who try their best and they kids still turn our poorly. Parents can only guide so far.
My husband said he dusted. I looked, and he had dusted every from about 3 feet high to 5 feet high. Everything lower or higher was completely ignored. Just one of many examples.
@@AmberColeman-gq1wn Right. Women have to suffer just for the "Right man". No way. It's 2024, it's either you find the "right man" or no man at all. I shouldn't have to go through all these issues just for the "right man". He shouldn't be waiting on others to improve. Needing some training is fine, but there's an extent.
They are doing this because it worked with their mothers. They were incompetent so mommy said "oh nevermind, I guess I'll have to do it myself." As for letting groceries sit out? And the response of "since I can't do anything right"? My husband used to say this and I just flat out told him that shit won't work with me. For the stuff at 12:00? I can't remember people's names honestly and sometimes I can't remember dates of things we need to do together. He is my partner and there are some things I remember and some he does. If 2 people are using the same car then the last one to use it would be the one to ask if the car needs to be filled up. Some of this section is a bit too far and just dumb. I also hate making the bed and won't do it as nice in this video. I don't care since I'm just going to lay in it anyway. If it's a guest room? I'll make the bed. But my own? No.
Blaming their mothers is just another step in the manipulation. My ex told me his mother cooked, served his plate and then cleaned while he ate. She didn't eat until after she cleaned the kitchen. I asked his mother and she busted out laughing. She said she did cook but everybody dished their own plate, they ate together and she made him and his sister clean up after dinner. He really tried to lie like being served was what he was used to.
@@brendamoon2660 Maybe sometimes but not all of the time. This is how my mum raised my brother; she stopped asking him to help around the house as he grew older and only asked me instead. If I ever questioned why my brother didn’t have to do anything, the answer was “because he won’t/can’t do it properly” or “because it’s easier to ask you”.
I think this is a problem universally because alot of the things these men are doing i have witnessed and experience with co worker's, i previously gad a job where driving a company car was part of my job during the week and drive disabled people to Church so I would come back to work from my days off and first thing in the morning i would do my caregiving part and then load them in the van and it was always on E! My coworkers would drive it all week and then i would come in on the weekends and have to fill it up so so irritating and rude lazy people.
I was *just* saying this to a friend the other day. Mothers who don't demand respect from their sons, allow themselves to be taken advantage of, or give empty threats create bastards who think they can get away with whatever they want with women later in life. That's why it's so common for men to say they're "blindsided" by divorce papers when meanwhile their wives have been *clearly* stating their unhappiness with his behavior for years! They just tune it out because they were raised to not take a woman seriously.
I literally don’t understand what it is about these men that makes women want to begin having children with them in the first place… Are we just assuming he’s gonna be a good dad? Why not let him demonstrate first?. “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no”. If you don’t feel like 100% confident in his ability to be a competent father, don’t have children with him. I know people can surprise you, but not THIS much. People don’t just stop being a good parent overnight. The pattern was obviously already there. Let’s start paying attention and being okay with not having kids (or just waiting, or finding a more suitable co-parent) if you know the child won’t have two fantastic parents. All of this is a choice.
Yep! Watching this shit show makes my chest hurt. I'm 68 and single. When I was 11 I vowed never to get married. I watched all the shit my mother went thru and I was like, F this. If this is what marriage is you can keep it. I was proposed to four times but I know me, I wouldn't have lasted a month. I hate cleaning up after grown ass people. Babies and old people get a pass, grown adult men - no, none at all.
@@soulshadoww55 if someone really loves me and wants to keep me in his life he should get me a maid. Otherwise i am not desperate to get married and have children just for the sake of it. It’s not worth losing my mental and physical health over. My mother died of breast cancer after her relationship with her narcissist sperm donor. They fuc* you up emotionally and mentally and this destroys your nervous system and lowers your self esteem. Destroying your whole existence. Nah i don’t want any grown hairy baby. I am taking care of myself that no one ever gave a sh*t about me when i was younger. Men will only man up when they want to. They want to act right for the women they really want to keep their access to. So make them PROVE themselves. And set and WATCH. ⌚️
“This topic should only affect married couples” is a wild a$$ statement lmbo and I love it when people speak their minds because she legit said marriage is about suffering. lol.
My man is maybe overly competent haha. he’s always trying to help always has his hands open and looking to help. And he loves a honey do list. Whenever I ask him to do something he immediately does it. He likes to feel needed . After being with men who would take months to do one thing I would ask for them to do I could never go back to a incompetent man.
@@itzAurora_Xoxo It used to be, alas, along came boss babes who arbitrarily assigned themselves the arbiters of correct with no room for divergence from their preference. Those particular men seem to have abandoned the hope in favor of solitude.
this was so well atticulated and well spoken..and really consolidates a complicated an ongoing issue...this should have hundreds of thousands of views,, I'm so glad the algorithm brought me here
Yeah and im wondering why so many men get online and start asking what women bring to the table! I mean geez with men like this its obvious what women bring to the table she's bringing her brain 🧠 since they don't have one and the willingness to actually take care of things because men are freaking lazy and annoying and i wish the man im with would leave the groceries out to spoil that would send me over the edge and probably be a deal breaker because no.
I’m beyond grateful for a man that accomplishes these “miniature” tasks and then some bc to some it may be that way but to me is far from minute and I’m sooo blessed.
This is why I choose single parenthood above a men. The more time passes the more I feel blessed I made that choise. If I could go back. I would do it again.
@@abdelaziezdeboer6377 you're very wrong as usual ofcourse Mr men. Because we can, I can, and its easy. I have 3 beautiful children who are thriving at scool, at there daytime activities. my daughter has a high IQ and she has always been the smartest of her class. Ever since 1 grade.She is doing better then many of her friends who are being raised by two parents. Because there parents have stress, or financial problems, or the mother suffers from domestic violence. I dont have any of those problems 🙂 nether do my kids you want to know why? Because there is no male in our house hold. Just one strong, Intelligent, independent, beautiful mother. Iet that sink in you're tiny little brain sir. I wish you well. Greetings From Morocco bye bye
@@Jenjen-. No the mindset of a real man who dit not himself be brainwashed by propaganda made by big corporations .they are the ones who brainwashed people by telling them that women should work and gender roles are old and outdated and that man should be feminine .they use you for money and you fall for it . They made the women in to a man so that she brings some money into there pockets ..
@@NiorAmbientForest dont praise youre self .youre not beautiful and not strong and not independent . You chose the wrong man .youre children need a father and that is the truth . For women in Morocco to be divorced and alone and working is a humiliation .
My ex-boyfriend did this weaponized incompetence repeatedly. It put more on me. Now, he doesn't even pay child support and hasn't since July of 2023. I am supporting 2 kids with Autism by myself. I am headed over to child support enforcement to have them collect.
@pimplequeen2 He chose another partner and cheated and he was kicked out for Domestic Violence. He is the weal link here! I am single and doing this alone!
@@agapelove4992 I think you miss my point. Did you not have a father, older brother or uncle to counter your choice in men? Would you have listened if they objected to the man? What would you say to girls starting out? How ought they avoid such men?
@@pimplequeen2 Avoid men who show any red flags and never ignore them! I learned the hard way how men can put on a show and pretend to be loving, kind, and that they are good partners just to have them switch up and take off the mask later. Their true selves are ugly and insecure. I wish I had taken those red flags more seriously. They were definitely there. Please take your time and don't have sex with a man too fast. It only takes one time to end up pregnant. Be safe rather than sorry. I wish you nothing but the best but not every person has a father and brothers worth a damn! Mine are part of the reason I saw toxicity as normal...
Know who you're married, procreating, living, sleeping with...if your partner is immature, then too bad to that person that didn't recognize it, beforehand. Children belong at home, preferably not mine
this would have been my response to all of them. banana- I would have made the shake and give it to him. the baby- I would have told him to take those baby classes since he's so lazy and I can tell it was done on purpose. shopping bags in the fridge- Now I know he playing, at this point just leave the the idiot. grocery shopping- I'd leave all of it out until they go bad and send him again, till he figures out he needs to put them away Okay, so I got it since they want to act so dumb next time you give them a task make them watch a RU-vid video on how to do it before they start. Since they act like they have no brain, treat them like they don't have one.
I’m afraid you can’t MAKE him watch videos or take classes. The banana idea is a good one. I wish I could have thought of other actions I could take to give him consequences that didn’t make me suffer too. If the house stays dirty, I suffer from it. Especially as the one with more allergies.
Watching this video has reminded me that-yeah I’m hurt af, but damn at least I’m not connected to dead weight and a permanent headache for the rest of my life.
I was cooking dinner for my brother and I. I needed him to bring a pack of chicken. He brought a frozen pack of chicken. He claimed he didn't know if I wanted frozen or not. He knows you can't cook frozen chicken.
I remember one time I talked about an issue I had with a man and some people responded “people can’t read minds wow your going to get mad without telling him what he did wrong he can’t read minds” obviously people can’t read minds BUT I Shouldn’t HAVE TO TEACH an adult man SOMETHING THEY SHOULD ALREADY KNOW HOW TO DO.
One night. I asked my ex to watch our baby for ONE NIGHT so I could get some *desperately* needed sleep due to nearly no sleep for 5 weeks postpartum. I had the bottles made, the diapers & wipes all set up, and told him: when she's hungry you have to sit up & feed her, DON'T prop the bottle (knowing his laziness). He nearly killed her. middle of the night my eyes snapped open out of pure instinct, I threw the door open and could hear her choking in the next room. ran and grabbed her, turned her over and it came pouring out of her, then she took that deep breath thank god and let out that scream. I hate him, always will.
Soo sorry to hear this, it can be traumatizing. Thank heavens for maternal instincts and for also waking up on time before it went soo bad. Hope you are in a better space now and surrounding yourself with all the help you need? ❤️
Look of a child makes a mistakes or doesn’t do the task properly than u tell em step by step how it’s done properly. Start talking to these in that tone. Have they ever seen plastic bags in the fridge?! Nope. This was done on purpose so u bring him back to kitchen and open the bags one by one and talk to him like the child he is.
That's why it's a waste of time cause they're not children. Children are sweet, curious, open to learn and not malicious. While men are malicious, petty, very selfish and predators at worse. The difference is one of them is genuinely naive and eager to learn... My point is men are not babies we need to stop infantilizing them.
@@amakaspot I don’t know how she should respond. Get her own fridge and start making all her meals separately? Clearly she can’t rely on him. Talking to him like he’s a child would just make him annoyed at best. I sure don’t want to be my husband’s Mom.
And you’ll be dealing with it for way longer unless you grow up and actually speak out. The same grown kid you’re complaining about is the same one you can’t even communicate with.
If you dated someone and they did this (dump them) and if you married them…. That’s your fault. The fact this is my first time even seeing people act like this is insane. It’s not hard to get a read on people before you get to this semi permanent point
@@ptlahm that’s a really long game to play. You’re in a friendship, then relationship, then engaged and only now you notice things like this. People are complex so I’ll give it to you but I guess I just have better intuition or even after the fact a method of problem solving to help us both win.
That's not how it works, there is no Devine Mandate for you to couple with a man. Its a personal choice. You don't want it, cool... You saved yourself and a man from the heartache of getting it wrong.
Yes I literally hadn’t done anything for myself for years because I was too afraid to leave my youngest with his dad. The reason it went on for years is because he has autism, so the extra special care needed was prolonged. His dad would scream at him if he was annoying him for even just a few minutes. Every concern of mine for his safety and well being was “oh it’s fine”, “oh he’s fine”. That’s terrifying. The thing that made me realize I couldn’t leave my son’s side was that *EVERY* time I would ask his dad if I could just get a nap in, I’d wake up and his dad would literally be sleeping on the couch, with my little boy just awake, on his own, running around in the house. That’s not okay normally, but with autism, that’s really not okay. Thank God he wasn’t ever a runner. But that’s no way to find out.. So I couldn’t even nap anymore. Still to this day, he’s 7 now, and while I’m not so worried about his physical wellbeing anymore, I can’t leave the house to do anything on my own until he goes to bed, because his dad STILL cannot watch him properly. Zero patience, zero ability to accept that his way is not always right just because he said it, zero desire to spend time with his kid for more than a few minutes. And he’s never changed a poopy pull-up, so I doubt he would do it.. or would just be livid about it. Sorry to rant.. I’ve just been so lonely and overworked because of this. I did everything to do with kids and the autism thing on my own this whole time, because he goes to work and makes the money. And I accepted it. But recently I realized how shit that was. So for the past year he’s been helping me by dealing with the odd phone calls we have with his therapists of pedeatrician. Just one thing of my plate is so nice.
Oh no growing up in the 1980’s the women in the family would just handle it and keep the men away. So many arguments and the men just stayed away and “worked” most of the time. No point in dealing with these sperm donors.
So you failed to build your half of the bridge? Story: A women sucked all the oxygen out of a man then blamed him for being dead. The man blamed himself for his blindness vowing never to sit next to someone who refuses to give him permission to exist. The woman fails to spot her part in the sad tale and continues expect more of the oxygen than she is due. The man never sat next to her again. The End. Everyone has a story, keep you eyes pealed and your powder dry my good lady :)
@@pimplequeen2 me. Whats right in my home is right for my home. Everyone decides what’s right for them. And in my home I’m not dealing with weaponized incompetence bc if they purposely do something wrong they’re gonna redo it until it’s done right. So either get it right the first time or they gonna be there until they do. Simple. We don’t waste time in my home
I'm not in a relationship. But sometimes I genuinely just forget to do somethings. Like when I do dishes and wipe down the counter and forget to wipe the back part of the sink.
Even if your married something’s shouldn’t be happening it’s not right. The girl who went to the store and freedom was her gift 😂, that’s what she wants she says this on the channel all the time that she loves it
And show their female children how to change the oil, paint exterior woodwork, DIY, not weaponize their neurosis. Its hard to leave the toilet seat up for their partner so teach them early :)
@pimplequeen2 but you don't NEED to know how to paint and DIY to function in life, but you DO NEED to now know basic housekeeping. Your comparison is weak...
@@Kookie-rm2gq The eves rot out, the car engine self destructs, the garden overgrows, the leaking roof destroys the ceiling and dry-walls, the decking rots out, the guttering over flows, the frost-burst pipe destroys the carpets, the shower tray leaks, the boiler lost pressure, the fire wont ignite, the window frames are sunburnt..... But as long as the dishes are done, we are all good... Yes? Imagine you and your male partner had a house each, next door to each other. Now tell me "why" he would help you keep yours structurally maintained? Do you know? Would you enjoy cooking him a nice dinner from time to time? Be carful and keep you eyes pealed... You have all the choice you need to avoid such men, they are not for you.
I feel like, at least some of this, is just passive-aggresive ways to get out of the relationship, whether its intentional or subconsciously doing so. Yes, there are some things that they just weren't taught properly, and some guys that just lack some common-sense, but the other ones that you KNOW are on purpose....??? 🤔🙄🤦♀️
Its weaponized when they are aware of the effects theyre behavoir causes. Some people are just incompetent, lazy, silly, dramatic, etc. Being petty and punishing their behavoir is going to cause more problems. Tell them, create a plan and then establish the consequences. Problem either gets solved or you facilitate the process for consequences to take place.
If one of the girls in the office brings me a pie with a knowing smile and a wink, it means she wants something doing with their car... Tire blowing up or wipers changed... Its fantastic, I like pies and women find it easier to make a pie than change the wipers. Pies get eaten and stuff gets done, win win :)
My last 3 boyfriends were like the men featured in the video. Suffice to say, I have been single ever since the last relationship 😂 Moms: please raise your sons with SHARED responsibilities. This is a big big part of the problem: mothers only making their daughters do chores. Secondly, wives/girlfriends, please do not encourage this behavior or laugh it off. You both work, you both created your children. Why is the housework and cooking only your job? Why? Is he more tired than you? Does he work harder? I understand housewives doing the housework, but if you're both working, it's BOTH your responsibilities.
Which still kinda proves the point. We're blaming only the mothers but why was it ONLY their mothers trying or not showing them? Why wasn't their dad involved in showing them? Exactly.
@@msliberated3899 Exactly. They're blaming the moms as if the dad isn't the cause as well. For the mom to have to be the one to teach him, then that means the dads are exactly to blame.
At some point we have to stop blaming women for the misconducts of grown men. He is an adult who needs to understand that cleaning cooking etc is a part of life regardless of your anatomy.
I said the same thing!!!!!!💯 I’m like that’s you dealing with a boyfriend not your husband!!! You not even a wife but putting up with some man that can’t even give you his name foolishness no ma’am!! Long term cohabitation doesn’t work! 1# reason is it was never Gods design!!!
The young woman and the older whyte guy were a couple that was bragging about their large age gap before marriage. He was perfect in her eyes because he was so mature. People warned her because he had more red flags than a Renaissance Faire, but she didn't listen. I think she's finally understanding what everyone was trying to tell her.
Absolutely can relate. I did it by myself With 2 kids and a man in the house. And guess what the kids hate me because I have to be all 3 Mom and dad and disciplining. What a terrible Waste of a life, for me and them . I did it wrong and I'm paying for it.
You haven't wasted your life by doing what you thought was in your family's best interest. It can feel shocking to realize how your husband has manipulated situations through incompetence. With this newfound understanding, you have the power to turn the tables. Honestly, he is the one who has wasted his potential, and you truly deserve some downtime after all the years of hard work you put in. 🥰
So most men do these huh?? My brother once told me, if women don’t exist…tall building or any technological advancement probably don’t exist either. Men really can live like the cavemen. Until now, I don’t know if he wanna compliment us or just saying that we make their life difficult.
What do you have that trumps the psychological quiet of solitude? (the cave) Men are happy to be the eternal counterbalance to a women's neurosis and maybe give them 15mins to empty their head of the days latest noise because some women are worth it, some women make life better... But some of them have arbitrarily assigned themselves as the arbiters of correct, why? What makes women so special that their means and methods are considered Devine Mandate? Women are "difficult" but sometimes they are also warm, friendly and funny... The "compliment" is contingent :)
Ok ladies, here is the deal, short and sweet: Some of these are stupid things to do, yes, like the "hidden empty containers". Maybe they are careless. Or maybe they didn't have anyone to teach them. BUT, IF your man is providing and protecting, maybe take a step back and have a loving conversation with him. Cuz I am willing to bet the way dishes are put away or towels are hung up are not important to them. If something is important to you, communicate. I guarantee you do plenty that irritates him or frustrates him! Speaking from 27 years of marriage experience 😉
Ill second that, my Mrs is a real pain in the 4ss, she is still the greatest woman to have walked the earth... Not a mean bone in her body and she can laugh at her own ridiculousness as easily as she laughs at mine :)
my ex used to ask me everyday which door my mom came out of when picking her up from work. Knowing she comes out of the SAME! door every time we pick her up.
The lady kept speaking on “boyfriends”. I was be more embarrassed if it was my husband versus my boyfriend. I would feel like I failed myself if I agreed to marry someone that behaved that way.
We need to be adults raising children. Not children raising children. Yikes. The children are not just children; they're developing human beings. The offspring we raise will be the by-products of us and the choices we make. Whether those choices directly affect them or not. All choices we make carry onto the lives of our offspring. This goes for both sides of the equation here, too.
WOW....This ALL Is How My Kids Father Is....Hence Why He Is My Ex. And He Cant Understand WHY I Dont Trust Him To Watch Our Child NOR Why I Refuse To EVER Date Him Again. Here's An EASY Explanation For You Incompetent People Out There Who Are Confused Of Why Your Lover Is Done With You.... IT IS UNATTRACTIVE TO A PROPER NORMAL ADULT TO BE INTIMATE WITH SOMEONE WHO ACTS LIKE AN UNDERAGED CHILD....Actually In MANY Cases....SOMEONE WHO ACTS LIKE LESS THAN AN UNDERAGED CHILD.
I got 1. Stay at home mom never had a job I was Married at 15 to man 25 . Kid at 16 Years old. I asked for a mop for my mother's day Cause I washed the floor with my foot and a rag. . But I never got a mother's day gift. Ask again for Christmas but I didn't get a Christmas gift. I'm playing victim I was told. The rag works just fine. Second kid 4 years old , gifted me an income I got the mop. Life is more challenging to some. The game must go on. 🌷🤔🙏 for the players that put up with these games.
I find it incredibly sad to read about the lack of appreciation and financial strain you've endured in your marriage. You deserve far more for all you've put up with over the years, particularly as the mother of his children. I truly hope you can see your value and gather the courage to make the right decision for you and your kids.
My ex’s brother used to live with us & he’d do this with the dishes so that I would do them every time because they’d need to be redone when he did them.
So ima put my piece here and leave it. I was born and raised Christian. And honey all I heard growing up is the word "shaking up" and ppl judging ppl all the time. I had no idea what that term even meant. When I grew up I thought to myself "I know why all these Christian marriages have failed or are failing!" It is very dumb to commit someone that freakin deeply... marrying them and moving in and you havnt even seen how they live! In my opinion it doesn't matter what other ppl think of you! You dont want to regret this kind of decision! This is top 3 one of the biggest decisions you will ever make in your life and its a decision that can definitely make or break you! Have your own place when you have a boyfriend! Both of you should start out with your own place... even if you or him or you both have room mates. And spend the night at eachothers houses often so you can see how eachother live! If he is sloppy and lazy.. you dont have to run right away. Find out is he going through something or just doesn't know how to keep a house and was never taught hands on. You dont gotta teach him or be his mom. Its a way that you can be a light in his life. If he is really into you and really digs you he will minic you. Make sure he is coming to your place equally as well. Because he will see how you like things to be done and he will watch you and learn some good house keeping tips and start doing them on his own. A grown man is not going to let a woman out don him and he is naturally going to feed off our creativity and it will step his creativity up. If hes really into you and he really loves you you will start to see your own touch in the way he is doing things in his home. If you love lights... one day you will start seeing him have all these kool lil lights around his home 😂😂❤❤ Guys are really really kool and so lovable if they love you too. Hey.. and then once you see that yes you can work with him. Hes easier to work with than other guys and he is actually trying and some of the things you werent really kool with before he has changed them for the better (including the way he keeps his house) then go to the next step. Move in with eachother and see does he keep this same attitude or was he just putting on tryna trap you!? If hes isnt just putting on and tryna trap you and he has kept the same patterns and effort then you know what to do! Keep him and you also continue to show de same efforts and love. ❤
