That's why it's important to date like a man. I've always done this, never take a man seriously unless he takes me seriously. He calls me 2 times a week, he doesn't get thought about until my phone rings. I don't chase, quest, thirst, or press. And I hold my little crush inside until it's appropriate to reveal. He has to earn you emotionally, he has to earn your mind space, he has to earn special consideration and treatment. It is what it is. Build your roster and be as picky as you want. Women hinder themselves from being SINGLE for the sake of a happy ending, but you must live, date, be light, and have fun! And in that freedom, and self love you'll attract someone who wants to cater to that. But when you out here giving desperate energy, men will sense that and unfortunately you will attract someone who will cater to that!
Use the divine law of attraction, ladies, manifest the man Universe/God has for you, if that is truly part of your Souls’ purpose in this life! Ty for the info, Tony, it helps to know what to look for and what to avoid 😉
@Star Essence i don't think too many of us wants to grow old single...BUT I really get tired of wasting my "younger" years dealing with lying, cheating, controlling manipulating men. Im 44 y.o. and I can say other than my childhood this is the first time in my life im truly happy, content and not getting "played" lol. So, I'll take singleness for 100, Alex!
Ladies...I know this seems exhausting. Well...actually it IS exhausting. But don't give up on what GOD has for you. Tony is giving us knowledge in order for us to date CORRECTLY and honor OURSELVES in relationships/marriage. Stop giving away your power!!! We are the daughters of the THE most high!!!
Ladies if y’all don’t take away nothing from this vide my message to you is - DON’T LET YOUR BOYFRIEND STOP YOU FROM MEETING YOUR YOUR HUSBAND BE BLESSED ❤️
Why did you say no? How did y'all get to the point of him proposing...not a well marry me then or a if its like that let's get married...but a whole real proposal, if you were just gonna say no. I get it , we don't have to accept it just because its proposed...but were you still sitting in the relationship knowing you weren't as serious about him for whatever reason? I'm not shading or whatever the new word is this month...I honestly want to know how did y'all get to that point just for you to say no.
@@deetoopretty6099 I agree. It takes me about 3- 6 months maximum to know if I should continue to stay with a man or if he would be good husband material. Once I know I get out. No sense in leading him on. This is why I have never been engaged. If it was not the right person why let it get to engagement? However, some men propose out of the blue too fast...so you never know what the circumstances were.
I always kinda knew this, but thanks for reinforcing: "when a woman approaches a man, she's "disrupting" the natural order." You don't choose, he chooses you. Thanks, Tony!
That they are emotionally weaker than women, can't be alone and resist the lower sexual desires..I have some calling and messaging me from years ago trying to hook up..Use call block ladies!
I pray for all my fellow black sisters especially in this day and age. We've been placed at the bottom by society although most of us have done the work and may have it all together we are simply handicapped by default in the rat race. I pray we find love, true and pure, and if not peace and happiness within. Rejection It's never a reflection of you. ♥️♥️
I doubt we will very seriously. Its a hot mess. He can date multiple. We can't..we have to hide it or we called slutty. Plus. These men today are selfish. And feminine. They dont know how to do anything masculine. Then still want half for the meal. And they dont know how to date and flirt with fun. They act either too boogie or too sex craved. Men are on my last things to do list. If you are not considered "gorgeous" you not going to get treated right. I am not ugly. But men today want a barbie doll. I did a test..profile. They love makeup and that barbie look. Lol. They are shallow asses!
@Jill Berry I know. This journey must be meant to enjoy alone. So. I better start enjoying it. 😁. We never no when its done. Ill refuse to wait for distant fake love.
When I tell you, I hung my head low and was about to throw in the towel listening to how men date. Then Tony said, “I know this is exhausting to you”. It freaked me out at his timing! Man... how did you know? Lol...All I could do was smile. This was the realest message I ever heard. All I can do is be the best version of me. What’s for me is for me. If God want me to be single all my life.. then God you have to give me the strength and the peace to live a life of no companionship. Let it be well with my soul Lord.
I feel the exact same way! Seems like every man I've ever loved did not have the maturity or capacity to love me on the level that I gave them. So I'm starting to think that after my divorce I just stay single. If it is in God's will to remarry cool if not then cool.
@Kenya Anderson. Hey sis, I feel you. Praying this same prayer for me. Though Tony did say in another video that women are more equipped at being single than men are. Men NEED us. We don't NEED them. 🤷♀️
Tish _Aglow I agree because I am a confident woman and if I care for someone is not that I am stooping to his level is just if I care about someone regardless of his status I will date him. It’s a shame if I care for someone of lower status than me, it mean I am lowering my standards. Smh
Facts: you are not apart of the ladies club with his momma and sister. They are going to take his side regardless if he is wrong or right. I keep my arms length polite and cordial.
Whewww...I felt like I was in trigonometry class...this is depressing and mentally exhausting...it’s not fair but all I can do it keep taking Tony’s advice. 😬
@@talkswitTK I was just talking to a friend about this. Life, work, self-discipline, etc. all great, but the handsome lovebombers can get you sidetracked. Btw, some men are jealous of a woman's success and will purposefully do things to mess with your self-esteem. With age there is wisdom/discernment.
Gave up on loving men completely. I realize most are just for a season and use them accordingly. Call me cold and all other expletives. I don't care . I only love my blood and my female friends. Loyalty rarely exists in a man. And its too much work to search for. I'll be fine growing old and wealthy and healthy💅🏾
Dating multiple men for me is a lot of work but I only give them 2 weeks to see if your their worth my time. At this point I don’t put up with red flags. So I move on to the next. I don’t have time to waste like that and I can talk to a lot of ppl but that doesn’t mean I will date you.
Ladies God didn’t create you to be taken for a fool by somebody else’s son! Your mama didn’t carry u for 9months for bs! WE ARE QUEENS REMEMBER THAT 😍❤️😍👑👑👑👑👑👑😍❤️
What Tony is saying is true about speaking to different women. I was joking with one of my guy co workers about the amount of women that men have in their phone and he gave me his phone to see and when I saw his phone I could not believe it ! So many messages from women popping up one at a time ping, ping, ping and he just looks at them. It was one moment when he finally took his phone back, smirked at the phone while replied to one WOMAN and clicked the side of his phone. I asked "What about the others ? Just gonna leave them hanging. His response was: "They'll be alright." After that ?? I got my act together and do me because I know I'm not the only one a guy is entertaining so why play myself ? lol.
Mannnn the truth of it all hurts man 😩 I have never been able to get to the point of making things official with guys because my intuition always starts going off the meter afterwhile and I just dead it (my inklings always turn out to be true). I'm starting to believe that I will never experience dating/marriage in this lifetime.
@@brewalls2301 No rush, I'm in the same boat but my little experiences just made me sit still and not expect so much too soon. It's best to focus on you but be open to dating and the possibility of love knocking at your door at any moment but don't expect too much. A guy reveals his true self with time and as long as the right questions are being asked he may reveal himself by the first week. I was getting to know a guy who love the sweet talking till it was time for a serious conversation and he figured I am waiting till marriage and those good morning texts went out the window. He was always busy for some reason and I took that as a sign ? Walked away. Your story may be different than mine but when you know the value you hold you won't settle just for any and everyone. That's what you're deciding to do and I must say that's the best decision you can make with the dating scene. There is so much to learn before a relationship and it does get a bit lonely but I fell for that trap. I involved myself with a possessive and controlling guy out of loneliness. I had no choice to walk away or otherwise I will be dead meat. Till this day, he's blocked and trying to find ways to contact me. I SAY this to SAY, When you go easy on you and let yourself know you are worth it and even if a guy may approach and you guys text never think you're the only one. If it's genuine your intuition will tell you continue the process and if it's not ? That gut feeling will be kicking down the door and telling you to Run ! He's coming, and he won't be late when he arrives, but right on time when you least expect it, -XoXo
@@je39981 I really needed to see this. You have no idea!!! Thank you so much for sharing that with me. Our intuition never fails us so I will be sure to listen/trust it and wait for the one who is meant for me. I know he is out there I just have to remain wise, know my value, and be alert until he is revealed to me. I will keep what you said in mind for sure! Thank you again because your message was the confirmatio/reassurance I needed!!! 🤗💕
One thing I’m learning in dating is.. some men are counting on your low self esteem. & then Some didn’t expect your poor boundaries but will take advantage of it.
Tony....they say the game is sold and not told, but you're telling it.. So amazing, helpful, informative, inspirational and more than anything, PRICELESS. Thank you for your service.😊😍
Very true. But always keep your standards high, don't make excuses & don't settle. Most importantly know your identity in Christ. Know what He says about your worth & who you are. If you are dating someone who's treatment of you doesn't line up with what Christ says about you (if you're a born again believer), drop him/her like a hot potato & move on.
If you are sorry, you gotta go! Let me help you go meet your future wife by getting your sorry-self up outta my life real quick. I will NOT be anyone's one of four or five. Not while, I still have any God given sense. No! ✌🏽🙏🏽✌🏽
I appreciate your transparency. However, this video made me feel hopeless 😅 At this point in my life I’m not sure if I have the energy to date. It’s sad. And in this day and age, social media just makes things more difficult. I’m just tired lol
Same! I Must have gone on more than a hundred dates over the past 5 years. It's exhausting. And I am still single. Not one guy who would agree to my refusal for sex yet.
I was raised by and have a strong relationship with my father. He is a man of God and we always had these types of talks. I absolutely love that you are spreading this word. A lot of women need to hear this. ✨
I’m sorry but a lot of men cannot get with Beyoncé or their celebrity crush! Jayz cheated on Beyonce. You can be one of the most beautiful women in the world with a good heart and they’ll still play games! Sometime I feel like being beautiful is just another reason why they wanna be deceitful and hurt you.
Sis u r sssso right. I had an ex boyfriend who looked at another woman and said I need to start going to the gym even though my body was in better shape than hers but just that she had less clothes on than me. Later a friend of mine who was dating his friend told me she heard my dude telling her man that you need to break women's confidence so that they love you and need you....which explained his actions and why he used to tell me that nobody would want me if he leaves me cos I'm getting older. Unfortunately for him I had to prove him wrong so I used him for all his money and cheated on him with a younger better looking man for whom i left him for completely. I just felt he needed to b taught a life lesson for giving me what I didnt deserve and I went into beastmode on him and felt so good about it even though I know it isnt God's way but back then I didnt know the Lord in the way i do now.
Men today are competing with women, some will criticize you for taking good care of yourself like how come. Just look at all these feminine men arguing with women online on a daily basis. Some want to come sleep with you and put you on their hunting board just to boost their ego. Beautiful women have it worse in this game.
I'm in L. A the Government place the Homeless in R.V's on my way to work I saw 2 women arguing over a Man who lives in the R.V I was like WELL WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS MESS.
Tony based on your teaching of how men date with the different options...women HAVE TO trust God to bring the man HE has chosen for them! We are fighting a losing battle on our own!😣😣😣
I was the woman that got the FT calls, he only FT me but I could tell that that didn’t matter because he still wasn’t putting enough time in and I peeped the cycle real quick
TClark1222 sooooo true. I cut him off and told him to take me of his roster. I have no tolerance for games and refuse to let anyone feel like they can string me along
Now tbh honest a lot of men ask these standards of women but will be doing the exact same thing that they don’t want their woman/ women doing (smoking, drinking, partying sleeping around) they want a trophy when their a certificate 🤦🏾♀️
Noooooooo!!!!...Some of the ladies in comments saying they are giving up on dating ? Tony’s intention is actually to prepare us, teach us and help us to approach and navigate the dating scene, effectively. I feel Tony’s coaching, videos and dialogue is giving us clarity on both men and women. I don’t know about you but I feel none of us were taught or were given any direction on how to date properly. Knowing this knowledge and applying it correctly, may be the REVELATION which my dating life desperately needed, all this time. I feel more confident and driven, to date now then ever before, after listening to Tony. Thanks Tony Gaskins for your wisdom. God bless you.
“She was one snicker bar away from being too much for me” 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂 I think that’s what it is Tony about me. I’m a couple of #4’s in 🤦🏾♀️ This video is a gold mine! Thanks for clarity!
I wish the common man would put this much effort, thought and strategy into their careers and goals. They waste so much time on the wrong things. It’s very unfortunate and saddening..... seriously
Haha, best comment to this talk. That is so true. This amount of strategizing, plantning and timing, most men could actually build businesses and empires. But no, THIS is how they use their natural gifts.
Glad I never chased him, once! Six months of dating and he semi ghosted me. He got tired of me being too aloof but I just didn't trust him enough bc I know he's seeing other people... his loss!
As a Christian woman i have many 1st dates then the guy fade away or i have a guy continue to try to date me and defile me , and im thinking you should know im not gonna sleep with you 🤷🏽♀️ . I have yet to meet just a normal guy who genuinely want to get to know me 😌
The narcissist, does this like a job,they send this tocall his supplies,I remember when,I looked in his phone,he told all of us good morning, and some,he asked for pictures,in their bra,pabties.
I get so upset with myself for the stupid way I carried myself in the past. I had no standards, no esteem, no voice about who I was, liked, or anything. I thank God for growth! If I knew what I know now back then...I would have been powerful as a woman.
Hey I’m so proud of myself that I prayed for help and good advice through Christ Jesus. I’m so very blessed and thank you so much for your help today. God bless your family
The women in My family were trying to tell me all these things years ago but I wouldn't listen.. Them dating several woman is actually unhealthy for them and the woman.. We should not be complaisant and just accept this.. It's abusive and damaging to your health in many ways.. Again ladies don't waste your energy on waiting/looking for love from a man..Love is universal.. My love goes toward my family, making money, my hobbies and last but not least myself..
@@tisha812 Because it is natural for people to have sex and bond emotionally soon..It has nothing to do with intellect it's chemical.. When you date several people you are dividing your time and detaching yourself which is counterproductive.. Also condoms and birth control aren't really good for our bodies nor is having multiple sex partners. Many of us aren't dealing with our sex addiction nor codepandcy issues either by doing this..
@@tisha812 When I'm done with a man and realize I'm not into HIM I cut him loose and block communication. Not in anger but for boundaries..I get a check up and give some time in between for the next man..in the meantime I spend time alone or with doing other things that make me fulfilled..I'm not perfect..I have a therapist and always thriving to be better..
Sabrina Jones I agree with you for the most part, but what I’m proposing is to remove the sex out of dating. I know that having multiple sex partners isn’t healthy. I asked the question because I’m trying to look at it from a point of view of strictly dating without that kind of intimacy. As far as dividing time and detaching one’s self I believe that maybe that could work to our advantage because it allows you to look at the situation from an intelligent standpoint and less of an emotional one.
Tony, I’m having a hard time with that “it’s stressful for a man to find a wife” phrase you have mentioned... it seems the other way around in my opinion. Although, your videos and last book taught me a lot, it’s a gamble coming across a genuine man these days. I’m still trusting God and the process!! God bless you!
Alexis Elmore this Guy knows the game but God knows best if you have the Holy Spirit God will show you want To do this isn’t all men game my best friend is a guy and he doesn’t miss treat women
mia bia - I understand what you saying, but I’m saying is, I’ve rarely heard men say it was stressful to find a wife, unless there older, the men I’ve met and know of don’t take marriage serious because they run from commitment and monogamy. But I hear women say all the time it’s stressful to find a husband. Yes I’m lead by the Spirit so I trust that He will place the man for me in my path in His timing.
I feel like the more I learn about men, the happier and more grateful I feel to be single. I believe if God wants to bring the right man into your life it will happen even if you aren't dating. This video confirmed to me everything I have always thought and felt about the way men act which is why I don't date, because it really doesn't work and it is designed to work against women.
When he said there's homeless men juggling women I ABSOLUTELY felt that because it is entire facts. Some women dating men that they have no clue were homeless when they met them.
This video enlightened me my fiancee was like that before he met me . I didn't like someone contacting e everyday but with him he gives me all his time when hes not at work when hes at hes calling me on his breaks and texting while hes working. I love that someone love me that way and vice versa. Men can changed for the right woman.
I use to not watch your videos bc I thought they were too long, but now that I’ve watched them I feel like they’re not long enough! Every single word you say is facts 💯
Be Bless Mr. Gaskins and your family. I was told game is to be sold and not to be told. And women you never reveal your resources. There is an old saying, don't let your right hand know what your left hand is doing.
It's really sad and depressing. I get enough drama at work as a nurse I really don't have the energy for the bs. With that said, I'm taking another long break for my mental health. The only males ill be talking to is my son and my patients! Too much drama. I'm out!
The process for dating/relationships that may ultimately lead to marriage is a long and tedious bout between two different yet the same souls in many ways that are not seen right away. Some get knocked out in the first round, whereas others, very few, will have success in the process due to discernment, communication, and consistency. Sure a man can juggle different women in order to choose his helpmeet or to have fun, but a real man takes his time with just one, the one God pointed out in the crowd. Choose wisely ladies and gentlemen.
And how long is a long time if God has pointed a woman out to you? Seriously, if you are exclusively dating a woman, how long does it take a godly man to pray and decide?
The issue is men won't let you walk away from them when they don't meet your preferences. Tell a man that he's too inconsistent for you and watch you get cursed out & threatened. Some women have even been killed. Being that we outnumber men they have various options and some women will take him so that she's not lonely. If a man can disregard you because of your height, hairy legs, your facial features (which is something you can't control) your skin tone (which is something you can't control) or the fact your eyes sit too far apart (which you can't control) then women you can also do the exact same thing and stand firm in your preferences.
Fortunately, I have never been in this type of "dating" scene, however I really hope and pray for the women's safety out there. Because this doesn't sound like dating to me. This sounds more like a hostile territory which women need to avoid at any cost.
This is why we as women should be about our business and our purpose. Enjoy the company of a man but so not full throttle invest until he is clear that you are the one and his actions match his words. We women dive too quick and fantasize to much. Be bout that that coin and growth let him catch up.
Wow this is powerful👏👏i was an ugly ducklying and was picked om and bullied by children and my own mother...and than i blossomed into a beautiful young lady and i didn't know my value finally at 28 i realize my worth its been quite a journey God has helped me be stronger and heal thank you brother🙏🙏👏👏👏
When the text sounds the same all the time I realized that there was not much effort being put in.....it was more like ...( Let me just text you hows your morning.....what did you eat....ECT)....just to show I'm checking on you ....but deep down they can care less... SMH....I LEARNED TO THINK WITH MY HEAD AND NOT MY FEELINGS THE OLDER I GOT💆🏾♀️
Yes. that's too much!! He have time for what he wants to have time for. and men do not say any of callers by name to make sure he doesn't say the incorrect name on that call 😒 everyone gets a call that starts out with 'Hey'.. SMH..
41:41 Made stop in my tracks. I never thought about it like that. I dated someone who I felt wasn’t on my level, but I thought I would “give a brother a chance.” I had started to make wonderful moves in my life and I had this fool absorbing my energy, not realizing he NEVER respected me. His character was awful, but at that time I confused character with potential!!! I know the difference now and I know GOD has someone for me...Point blank peri-odd!!!
This truth does hurt .. but it's reality. i,ve been in this process of selection and felt it, men will have a certain time they call each women too.. confirmation i needed.. Be Blessed !
I was the 2-3hr face time girl w 5-6hr phone calls, but my intuition kept telling me he had other women. I just pushed him away instead of talking about it, but I'm doing self work for that. This video has given me peace that he was juggling women
Just had a dude play himself. Calling all the time, texting, then ghost for 2 days. Finally talking about, he needs to talk to me but he's with his 16 yr.old son. Boy bye. Calls me- BLOCKED
Tony I understand the transparency and appreciate it but it’s just a hard subject for women because it hurts to see a man change for another woman. Just be gentle with us. Be blessed
I know and very much appreciate that Tony is just trying to teach us the game, but it makes me feel so tired, deflated and discouraged about dating and that I'd be stupid to believe any man's words. It almost doesn't seem worth it any more, if most men are the way Tony describes, to invest my time and effort, not to mention money, getting dressed up and trying to look and be my best only to be played by these jugglers and end up finding out I've been a fool to think I actually could believe anything they say is real and that I've been merely one of many. I think I just need to fully accept the reality of this dismal state of affairs in the dating world and enjoy life as a single and free woman with no stress.
I felt the same way. I might as well just focus 100% on myself and on family & friends. No woman in the world wants to feel she is "the second option" or any less than that. Even poetry seems like a scam now because it's just a matter of who's the "best" woman he got at that moment.
Aww man. This video was real, raw, and transparent. Thank you Tony for giving us these ‘in the trenches’ nugget. I be sharing with all my daughters and single friends.
Tony is dropping💎 💎 💎. Us ladies are getting exclusive info not only into the dynamics of a man's thought process when it comes to their interactions with us, but how men actually talk about us with their bros/homies when we are absent. I got 2 words,"Check-mate😎😎😎!"
I see so many women commenting that its too hard. It's supposed to be a challenge but society makes us think it's a passive process that just happens magically..and it does not. We can thank disney for this mindset. When you get tired..take a break, re-evaluate, pour back into yourself and get back out there...don't take forever though...a month is good.. Tony is teaching the game..with his help we can be more equipped to win.
Actually no. We women aren't built to exhaust ourselves that much till the point when a good man comes along, we have no energy and be looking like a mess. I don't blame us for feeling upset and defeated. Our hearts are softer and we get influenced faster than men do. We will literally have to transform into a man so we can stop being so soft and that's exactly what men don't want! Not following what God says makes everything difficult. When men are lusting left and right instead of fearing God this is how we ended up in our situation today. Yet, we women are still expected to deal with the burden and suck it up!
It’s like I know all this and I still fall hard for men that are not into me it’s really good to hear u make this clear Tony u give so much knowledge and not only on relationships it’s a way to live an abundant life to become a better person in this world to be able to raise healthy happy children
From experience too ladies...be careful going in with a person and you go in at 100 and then let them.drain you to 40 or 50 percent...Tony speaking the bible!!
Love the perspective you bring in talking about the men's pressure to choose the right wife. It is certainly thought-provoking when you try to understand men who are fearful of commitment. This is why women should also be up to the standards they expect from men. This video doesn't make me lose hope but rather makes me feel empowered to learn the game and act accordingly! So many things my father never taught me, bless you!