The Best Relationship Advice No One Tells You 

Wait so that was you on the rollercoaster?!😂😂

So can you have a romantic relationship with just friendship, respect, aligned values but no attraction?

@@c.m.1248 attraction is implied. If you don’t have it, that can also be a problem. Although a different one.

@@IAmMarkManson Agreed. Would lead to curiosity in others, eventual cheating, and that would spell the end of that.

​@@IAmMarkManson i guess attraction comes after friendship because its base of all relationships

😂

perhaps the majority of the views on this video will come on Sunday? LOL!

I was definitely confused for a minute, ha!

or maybe you watch it on Friday but it sinks in on Sunday? xD

AND I THOUGHT TODAY WAS SUNDAY 😭

❤

Uu

This is true

Hi

Don't get yourself worked up with too many things; enjoy the simple things you love to do.

That’s why I’m building up an army of killer geese!

As always love your self and go to the gym ! :)

@@umamii936 LMAO! Sweet! and what do you plan to do with these killer geese? But before you answer that, a quick question: we good, right? We good?

@@SurfyStories Stephen Curry, or spice curry?

❤

This was my interpretation of his song! Love isn't all you need to make a relationship work. But love is all you need to find the joy of living

Also, despite somehow becoming a reddit “fact”, Lennon didn’t beat his wives. According to his first wife he slapped her once, which while awful, i don’t really think is enough to make him a wife beater. And Yoko also has said he never hit her. According to his son he was certainly verbally abusive though.

​@@zero-pl3ttand according to himself he was "A hitter"

@@johnstackhouse1706 He did say that, yes. But it is also true that both his wives denied him being a wife beater. That would mean he hit random women or something, which is also not a flattering picture, but still, not a fact as many on the internet would like you to believe. Also, although this is not really related, that quote comes from the 1980 Playboy interview, and one thing people don't seem to mention that much is that he at least sounds genuinely remorseful for his past actions there, and while it's up to the people he hurt to forgive him or not, it at least makes it clear that he wasn't as black and white as some people, like in the beginning of this video, portray him as.

What about the Christian way of "gods love"?

beautiful

And that’s how it should be. Wish more relationships were like that

When you enjoy so much simply spending time with each other that to me is the definitive indicator that that couple is going places, if you're the happiest just by talking and sharing moments and laughing together, that's the best sign of a great combination of two people

What in the world do people think "romantic" means? It's not sex. That's lust. It's attraction + friendship (with values aligned and all that) + mind compatibility + spiritual communion. It's EVERYTHING. Romantic is not about having "sexy feelings" towards another.

This is fucking awesome.

Thank you. I love this.

Such a wholesome story. Thank you for sharing this with the world.

Meh, she's ok! Mark could have done much better, but as long as he is happy, then thats fine.

gosh, thats so beautiful and real thanks for sharing this ❤ God bless your marriage

wow your husband propoesed to you prety much when i was born(i m 27 turning 28)

I'm sorry to hear about that and glad you are moving forward one step at a time. Good luck with your journey, this will make you more ready for the right partnership in time. It's gonna suck for a while, yet, though. Courage.

Process the grief

really sorry to hear that bro! wish you all the best!

Rooting for you. Good opportunity to practice building a good relationship with yourself. Wishing you well, and sorry you're having to go through this pain, but glad you're moving on from something that wasn't right for you.

It has only been a week, allow yourself to be devastated. Allow yourself to mourn the loss, and then once you've cried out all your tears, focus on being the best version of you. Envision how you would feel if you were your ideal self. Actually feel that you are already there, and make small changes towards that lifestyle every day. You've got this :)

people who ignore negative experiences or think pain has no value, will never get to a place where those negative experiences or pains are gone

True

Mistakes are best teachers, when they're someone else's, they're also saving you time

Made ma laugh. Thanks.

Absolutely. I learned a lot about what not to do with my life by observing my parents. Even the bad parents have something to teach their children... just not in the way they might like.

@AzureWolf 5) What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more..

@@cloudzero2049 😂

The greatest love you can have IS to sacrifice your life for the other. The sacrifice of your life doesnt necessarily mean to die but rather to let your own ways die and modify your identity to conform or jive with the other person. This is why there is a song called "love is a battlefield" and the battle is to settle into your new identity with your partner which could take years.

​​@@T2Master01 it's a horrible idea because no absolute trust will guarantee you that other person will be so committed as well. You can sacrifice your identity to be with another person only to understand it was the wrong person/to be left by that person, but it will be too late. True love is accepting other person as they are, maybe with some minor changes for the better compatibility, but that's no "sacrifice", if that minor changes are what you were talking about, then you're right, but are too dramatizing. If not...no offense, but if you really meant what I think you meant, then you're most likely a (potential?) victim of abuse or an abuser yourself. This mindset won't ever let you have a healthy relationship, mind my word.

​​@@T2Master01 and, to begin with, why would you even want to be with a person if they're too different from you, you don't have a lot in common and there's a lot to change in your identity and lifestyle to make this love work? It's like always working with Windows, having all the skills and knowing all the programs you need there, and then buying a MacBook and struggling with its stupid OS just because its design looks nice... Seriously, it's even more stupid than that. Infatuation, aka "in-love-ness", means and worths an absolute nothing, it's just your brain's primal desire to make you reproduce, the fact that you liked someone just means your brain thinks they're fuckable, not that you'll be a great couple. If you ask me, the brain's masked urge to make you fuck someone isn't a valid enough reason to change your life completely to be with the object of your desire 🙃 "Love" is affection and care you develop after being in a relationship with a right person for a while. You don't have to go through hell to achieve it, ideally, you really shouldn't rip your ass apart to gain it, it should come naturally, or it won't be durable enough to last. Seriously, the hard way isn't the right way, I'll never understand why people like to equal these words so much.

Dos that also mean that I should get into relationship on it's low and get out at it's peak? ;-)

​@@igorthelight it means that after the honeymoon period arguments will come your way but if you don't use them as an opportunity to grow, if issues are not adressed or are repeating themselves over and over after they've been discussed there is no point even if there is love nobody is perfect so if you want a serious relationship you have to commit, be tolerant (to an extent), respect each other and work together to maintain a good relationship

@@pooky8282 some people pretend to grow from arguments and only reveal that they were faking it 4 or 5 years later. so.. that trend is no guarantee for anything. nothing is, really. it's a huge gamble.

For future reference; what are your arguments about?

I see a lot of couples that argue just for arguing instead of arguing to solve an issue

I'm sorry for you. I had a fantastic relationship during a year, but I convinced myself to give all of myself to that person when they didn't want that. Worst mistake becaise I got all anxious while they were fine, i thought we weren't compatible because I rushed into the relationship because I was young and after breaking up I miss dearly t the romance, but most of all, the ffriendship, that was te most important to me. I needed that friendship to function and now I feel so stuck, because even my studies remind me of them

Oxytocin: It's a helluva drug, man!

anxious attachment style

Moreover, I'd say falling in love with someone doesn't mean you must get into relationships with that person

Firstly, be sure to have a loving relationship with yourself. Be your best friend.

Fantastic, thank you for sharing. If I had to guess, I would say one or both of you come from unbroken homes. That early exposure seems to lay the groundwork for continued success, usually. Then again, a lot of times it is through adversity that we see what we do NOT want and develop the determination to do life differently. Either way, it only works if you invest your time and effort. Kudos!

For now.

@@djwhiz03 well sir I like to live in the moment so “for now” I’ll keep enjoying my amazing relationship 🤝

@@ingrained2train as do I.

Yeah, this is called the campaign phase where the woman mirrors her partner. Give it 7-10 years. Sorry to bring the bad news.

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Yes the idea of having a million dollars in your bank account feels great, but it s not very useful unless you make something out of it, same goes with love

After a BRUTAL experience dating, I spent three years single. One of my friends said “You’re finally happy. Don’t be with anyone who can’t add to that happiness because if they’re not bringing you up, they’re bringing you down”. She was right, and that advice helped me become VERY happily married. I hope you also find that (when you’re ready of course).

@@bashlea Remember loneliness is designed to help you discover who you are, and to stop looking outside yourself for your worth.

@@MyprivateFirst I learned that lesson many years ago, but this advice is just as true now as it is then

@@bashlea You can give them another chance, or you can forgive, let go, and give yourself a better chance.

@@bashlea Prove yourself to yourself, not people.

Same ,only im 2 years older. Good luck sister

❤

Wassup pretty ❤

@coribrain789 shoot your shot boy 🔥

I agree. I tried to change myself while accepting the other person, while the other person loved me as I was. My lack of love for myself led to some shit on my part, which I'm not proud of

So if your partner is lazy, does not work, big spender, unreliable; you need to compromise? 🤔

@@joecojones Eeew. Why would you marry someone like that to begin with? Who said anything about lowering your standards. I said the opposite. I said that you should accept yourself and the person you choose to have a relationship with. That means you have to understand who you are and who they are and choose if this is who you want a relationship with and then accept all of it just the way it is. Not pick someone because you like some things and fool yourself into thinking you can change the parts you don't like. Recipe for misery right there.

@@ocmetals4675 I will assume you are a woman, because i doubt any sensible man would start off a sentence with 'Eew'! LOL People are good at hiding their true natures, pretending to be some one socially acceptable. Couple that with raging hormones & willful blindness during the 'honeymoon' phase, the vast majority sign up for something we didnt know we were signing up for. Nobody UNDERSTANDs who they are! if they really did, guys like Mark Manson wouldnt be needed and you & i wouldnt be here now! people are like onions as in our personalities come in layers, that we need to pull away to see. That becomes more difficult the closer to the center we go! I hope your husband is as 'happily married' as you seem to be.

@@joecojones no, it means you find a new partner. Why the hell would you want to try to move a mountain instead of just taking a different route

I've made that mistakes many time and have chased that high now when I feel it thats a warning sign for me. It's so hard when things are relaxed it's probably right but there's that mistake of things being boring instead of right for you.

@@daryl9799 I see where you're coming from. In previous relationships, I always thought the initial "spark" was necessary for love. In my case, I realized following that feeling got me into relationships I shouldn't have been in. If you're with the right person, it won't feel boring but it won't feel like a rollercoaster either. A partner's job isn't to be constant entertainment or to provide dopamine hits. Partners are there for emotional support and connection, advice, trust, perspective, intimacy, etc. Yes, it's important to have fun and be playful in a relationship but the foundation needs to be there. Having hobbies that make you happy can provide the dopamine hits when needed.

@coolbreeze5683 Agreed ive been in relationships where they expected me to entertain them constantly it's just exhausting.

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-WoKAMUGcK7w.html

​@@coolbreeze5683 exactly!! I knew this subconsciously, but I forgot and made. Some mistakes

Great point ❤

Some parents

Tell this to an orphan lol

Or it poisons your outlook like an inescapable pickling, stewing in piss & vinegar, while all other relationships end in abuse, tragedy & horrible divorces.

very true

Time will heal my friend

oh no what happened?

Lol

Either that's funny Or, congrats

What? Zack! What happened ?

Be brave, you are not alone

been there. watch the breath and watch the attachment habit rise up, abide and pass away. don't give up

It’ll be okay. Just takes the time

Be strong!!!! Be! Strong!

Me too. The worst

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-WoKAMUGcK7w.html

i wished i have watched this video before because sacrificing my own self and adjusting to someone's life isn't really worth it. i was in a bisexual relationship. even though my exes were guys, i still gave it a try and totally replaced my perceived identity just to accomoodate someone.

Your comment warms my heart. Kudos to your family and going through it together.

This is recommendable,so awesome and passionate

My love let be together😊

Beauty is simply reality seen with the eyes of love.

Remember loneliness is designed to help you discover who you are, and to stop looking outside yourself for your worth.

But even that love is not enough. That's why there are cat videos.

nomnoms

It's exactly for you Losers ... And you fall for it😭😭😭😭😭 🙆👏

@@DiscoFang true, cats are better than women... although similar but different

@@DiscoFang LMAO! You win the internet today!

You must not hang around very many people, I suppose. I wouldnt call it a rare trait. Especially amongst men. But people do it with varying degrees of success.

From my knowledge that ain't a rare trait at all, his work is really good tho

Because you are seeking help with your one-itis! Nothing wrong with that; i hope we can help! Do you know why you love her so much? is it because she is so pretty? probably not, there are prettier. is it because she is nice & kind? Perhaps, but they change and the longer you are with them, they tend to be less kind to you. is it because she is special? hell naw! No woman is special. They are all very very similar to each other. You love her because you are a LOVING guy! Because you are a catch! SO, you can have this SAME love for ANY woman you choose, so long as you WANT to and you ALLOW yourself! You are the KEY ingredient in your love! You Awesome bro, not her! You AWESOME! So go find another woman that meets your standards and do for her like you did for your first and you likely will get similar results! Remember: YOU are the key ingredient!

@@inconnu4961 i know you meant well with this advice, but i think you can give it without saying no prospective partner is special… everyone is interesting and has something to give idk. i wouldn’t like it if a woman said ‘men aren’t anything special and you’re just the hottest woman ever so you’re good!’

Juan how beautiful & touching, i'm envious. I don't understand love. But one thing you are doing right: remaining loving! I heard recently being angry is a way of holding on. You are not falling for the angry way. You will be able to let go faster🕊 Here's crazy ass advice: Hold on tighter!! I get sick of it faster🤣

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-WoKAMUGcK7w.html

Same I too have started to idolize love again and crave a relationship. This video hit me with some sense again...

I'm proud of you! *That* is a level of maturity showing that you will choose the right partner, _AND_ have wonderful long term companionship with them!👍

@@thesurvivorssanctuary6561 I appreciate the support. I imagine, judging by the few likes on the comment, that many people are in the same position. May the best come to you, friends.

I'm kind of in the same boat, but at the same time I feel really lonely and crave intimacy

@@pipodedown1986 I do too. Sometimes it hits really hard, but deep down I know that it's going to hurt more if I never try, versus actually trying to find something fulfilling and get hurt in the process. I never really learned how to love or be loved properly. Now, I strive to be kind, always. Although it seems like I am stuck in a perpetual state of platonic love, and I don't know how to move out of it. I hope that you will be able to grow as well, friend.

@@andrewm.8841 thank you for your kind comment. I can tell you are a good person with lots of love to give, we'll get there one day

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-WoKAMUGcK7w.html

No please 😅. That is a agape love. Does not work in real life.

You have insecure attachment

Same!! (Agree with Amal about insecure attachment as well)

It's because the incompatible people are usually more attractive physically and the women who have interest similar to men are more masculine.

Me too. I want to screw hot jerks but chill with other like-minded shrews. That's most of evolutionary history. The people who ignite your lowest instincts are what you are supposed to reproduce with not spend any time with other than just mating and then collectively raise the kids together as a group of 50 women co-parenting every kid in the tribe. Same with dudes. You like hot bimbos. Yet wanna spend time with your bros doing bro stuff like ... Hunting for wild animals like your ancestors did. Not putting up with apes from another planet. So women wanna screw serial killers, beasts, demons, vampyres, pirates, and billionares... But only modern societal BS could tell you that they are fixable and worth anymore time then a quick mate to have strong babies that might stand a chance.

Same here bro... thanks for letting me know I am not alone 😂

That's amazing... arranged marriage is such a foreign concept to North Americans, but I think the level of committment is greater.

And of course, you have that strong trust with your best friends too!

Also don't lose trust in yourself

Make sure you don't start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who don't value you. Know your worth even if they don't.

Wow. You opened my eyes

Ohh.. How are you doing today ❤ I will be happy to have u around

Remember loneliness is designed to help you discover who you are, and to stop looking outside yourself for your worth.

My love Let be together forever 💛💛💛

Don't get yourself worked up with too many things; enjoy the simple things you love to do.

Remember loneliness is designed to help you discover who you are, and to stop looking outside yourself for your worth.

💯

My wife and I are good at that. 😄

I think that’s pretty much the mindset of every man I’ve ever met 😅

That's sad because of this I never felt I was prioritized in my previous relationship and I left it.

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-WoKAMUGcK7w.html

Maybe we do need love as in dedication, attention and compassion, but from ourselves and not a romantic partner ❤ Wishing you warmth and care, from a fellow broken hearted 30 something ❤

@@nanaValente that is very true! I finally started to love myself and to offer all that compassion and dedication that I offered for years to men, to myself. And the right people will come at the right time. Wishing you love and happiness 😊

My ex partner was so much in love with me, while I appreciated our friendship more. He wanted to stay indoors (which made things more.. ehem...romantic. we would talk while hugging each other for hours) while I liked to be outside (it forced us to talk and be less lovey dovey, plus, it's good for the body and we discovered new places ). While he assured me I didn't need to change or that i didn't own him anything, I deluded myself into doing so (we were both horrible at planning and ended at his house most of the time ) while I knew it wasn't good i let myself be driven by the adrenaline, because I never had tahat and i thought it was good, it helped me feel more normal (i was an anxious mess before meeting this persona and felt better with him and we also had a a strong connection, not only romantic I won't explain anymore but the story doesn't end up well. Take care of yourself, first of all, guys. I neglected myself , thinking of the "benefits of the relationship and it's my responsibility. I lost my flaky values and now I'm driven by fear. I want to change it but I know it will be a long road while I feel guilty for cutting a relationship instead of working more on it

You can give them another chance, or you can forgive, let go, and give yourself a better chance.

Hey Mairedaly going through your comment and found your reasoning so interesting,it reminds me of Angeline Lopez 😂 you are very intelligent it won't be a bad idea to know you better,and write to you often if you don't mind thank you

I think reading the “Road less travelled “ is a good book on this topic.

@@victorianjeri1000 Thanks for the recommendation. Will check it out.

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-WoKAMUGcK7w.html

You're not alone. A year divorced. I ask myself if its even possible to love again.

Here's my definition of love, if it helps any: to care sincerely about the wellbeing of a person and want what is best for them It explains why parent-child relationships can be so bizarre. There's usually plenty of love, but if the parent is mistaken in what is best for the child, the child suffers and it's always a disaster. It's more clear-cut for romantic relationships I feel. You can tell over time if someone truly has your best interest in mind or if the relationship is just a means to an end, ex. you feel depressed and want to quit your soul-eating job but your partner fusses about what will happen to the kids and insists you stay. Yes, your children are important, but there's no thought for your feelings, no care for your wellbeing. No love there. A parent will (hopefully) love their child just for being their child, but for a romantic relationship, I think the reason for your affection literally determines whether you actually love the person or not. If you're feeling loving toward them because they're kind-hearted, hard-working, handsome, beautiful, smart, funny, witty, or because they make you feel good, provide you security, etc. then your affection is self-serving and not love, in my opinion. The relationship has to be wanted for its own sake for it to be love. That means your partner shouldn't have to pass a checklist of behaviors, traits, or characteristics for you to feel affectionate towards them. Your partner has to be the end itself, not a means to it. The only way this is possible is if your feelings arise from the bond and connection you've built together. Forming a bond with someone and getting to know them is a process that takes years, so a romantic relationship in the early stages will feel great, but it will never be love, even if they treat you right. It may look like they're doing things for your benefit, but if they're in love, they're doing it because they're on a romantic high. Always. See how they treat you when Mother Nature's chemicals and hormones wear off. That's the real test.

Remember loneliness is designed to help you discover who you are, and to stop looking outside yourself for your worth.

The hardest decisions are sometimes the most rewarding.

I've been setting high expectations and I've never even been in a relationship. Every time I try to chase one it never works. Maybe I'm being taught a lesson, because one of the things I have valued the most is friendships and they're a great source of joy in my life. Goes to show I need that friendship basis with anyone like was said in the video before anything could go further. It would be much better for me to just let things happen if they do. I'm glad people like Mark exist to tell my ape brain to calm down and take it easy or as the first part of Subtle Art goes: "Don't try."

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-WoKAMUGcK7w.html

Absolutely causes of unhealthy relationship mostly is humanely made that if will take time to study it, will can control it before it leads to conflict that can cause depression, we humans makes a lot of mistakes in chosen a right partner and taking time to study our partners but all seems being equal we have every opportunity to give it a second taught..... equivalent I will looking forward to write you often and looking forward to study with you.........

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-WoKAMUGcK7w.html

You can give them another chance, or you can forgive, let go, and give yourself a better chance.

Hello