How Morgan’s Premarital Sex Began (Storytime) 

Fam! Comment below and let us know if any of Morgan’s story resonated/encouraged you! Become a Patron❤️ www.patreon.com/paulandmorganshow

She should’ve done this video alone… Paul did not need to give his input on her storytime about her past. They could have added a segment to discuss and pick apart her storytime afterwards. So frustrating to hear him interrupt every 30 seconds or so. Is it her storytime or his?

I really liked hearing Morgan tell her story. I wish she had done this video solo though.

As someone who lived through purity culture and the shame it heaps on people I will never agree with this. I had sex before marriage and my ex husband did not. The church and even my parents made it out like I should be so grateful for him. He was never a good husband. Oh he was an "awesome" Christian went to seminary and taught and blah, blah, blah... he treated me poorly. He and I were not sexually compatible at all. I was treated with more love and kindness from the guy I had sex with before marriage than my then husband. My new husband and I lived together before marriage and made love regularly. He helped heal my hurt with his kindness and his body. My daughters are being taught their bodies are precious and sex is valuable but not off limits. They should think about how and with whom they share it but not make a shrine around sex.

"Shut your mouth Paul, let the woman speak!" Truer words have never been spoken 😂

Isn’t it funny how things happen and we’ll tell ourselves I’ll never let anybody know the truth in a million years! But here God gives you the freedom and you’re literally sharing your story to a whole room of people or the entire Internet!!! You rock Morgan!!

Thank you Morgan for sharing. This was beautiful. I can't help but pause as you stated that your boyfriend did a really good job of presenting himself as someone different when he was with you. After seeing the video of him, you finally broke up with him. That was after 8 months if I'm correct. While, I agree long term dating certainly has its struggles, this kind of helps support my worries about dating for shorter periods of time. I honestly can't imagine just meeting someone and then getting engaged after just 5 months. (It's different if you've been friends for awhile before) There are some people who are incredibly skilled at presenting themselves as who they think you want them to be. I've seen it sooooo many times. For myself, I would want to know someone a full year before getting engaged. I guess I have some trust issues, but I've just known some very skilled manipulators. Marriage is a BIG deal, and I want to know 100% that I can trust this person. For me trust is built, earned and fostered overtime and solidified through actions rather than words. Paul, while I know for some two years of being together can be a bad idea. I know it's possible to maintain purity for this long because I know multiple people who have been successful in doing so. I would never assume that a couple who's been together for two years is sexually active. I really think it depends on the ccouple. I respect ya'll and support you. So hopefully I am not coming on too strong. Wish ya'll the best!

It’s amazing how our stories of sin can later be used to help others. I was not a Christian growing up. In fact I was 38 when I was saved. I was extremely promiscuous and God has forgiven me for all of it. Thank you for telling your story ❤🙏🏻

Fun fact: bpd folks attract narcissists alot. Makes me wonder if Paul is one without even realising it.

I have been in this situation I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost two years now and I’m really mad when I fall in to sexual sin I want to live for JESUS and this video made me realize some things thank you for the story GOD BLESS YOU!

That mindset of one thing leading to another is a very slippery slope. Thank you, Morgan, for being very transparent and poignant in sharing that part of your spiritual struggle. There are guys out there who, for whatever reason, will say many things to get into some pretty gal's life, even long-term. You are so right about finding Godly people to be accountable to, wonderful support, time in HIs Word every day, and especially a wonderful man who is willing to grow and lead. There may be times when the couple makes mistakes even then, but the difference is the direction of the relationship, and the part that each person is willing to play in the continuation of their devotion to God within that relationship. My beau leads us in prayer without any prompting from me, he sees me struggling, takes my hands, and prays with me right there. He is reading more of the Bible on his own. He asks me every day what I need from him, and is willing to be of service from his heart. I am amazed at God's grace that I finally found that. I am grateful that you found that in your life, too.

This was bold Morgan, may this reach the eyes and ears of those who need to hear this! Praying Colossians 4:6 over you. I can relate to the secretive element of sexual sin. Thankfully I broke the silence, due to the loving kindness of my parents. Sharing was liberating and the shame skidaddled, allowing for healing and wholeness once more. Jesus is kind and we need each other...sidenote, loving all the luscious green foliage 🌿

This is SO refreshing to hear. I have a similar story. I really wanted to honor God and was broken by my sin in a relationship.. the guy I was with put on a really good act, in front of my parents and at church and to me.. He wasn’t truly interested in God and I came to find out that he was a completely different man around his friends. I totally understand the depression, shame and darkness that comes with living in sin for long periods of time and hiding in the shame and secrecy of it all. Praise God for his redemptive story! He has saved me from myself. This encourages me to tell my story with excitement for how God has redeemed me. Thanks for sharing!

Hi! I became a patron of your channel back in 2019 when I was very isolated and you guys were the only Christian community I really had 💚 I just wanted to let you know that I know you get so many things said about you which are just vile and slanderous, but what you're doing is beautiful and impactful and valued. I was in a "situationship" a year or so ago and it would have been so easy to cross physical boundaries with that person. I can honestly say that it is due at least in part to the fact that your channel got me to rethink and better define my own boundaries that I didn't become physical in that situation and don't have any of those regrets 💚 Seeing your healthy, faith filled marriage also helped me realize how much was missing in that situation and let it go. So thank you both, and so much love! 💚

Thank you for sharing! I had a similar experience. Young ladies who may be watching this: if a man doesn’t want you to share with others about slipping up and wants to keep it in the dark. Don’t. Always tell your mentor.

“It’s a teaching tool for my children!” Lol 😂 love you so much Morgan!

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I , too, wanted to wait until marriage. I was very sheltered in high school, and then went away to college. I fell in love with an unbeliever, and I was not walking closely with God. I felt like I could win him over and help him to become a believer. That was not the case. We ended up having sex outside of marriage, and I felt like I needed to marry him because of that. If we wouldn't have had sex, I would not have chosen him to be my husband. After 7 years of marriage and a son, we divorced for unbiblical reasons. Now, I do not feel at peace about remarriage because my divorce was not biblical. I can be content and happy as a single person for the rest of my life. I know God has forgiven me, but that doesn't erase the consequences of sin. I wish so badly there would have been someone in my life that I could have talked to about waiting, and putting God first in all my choices. I was young, dumb and no way ready for marriage at 19. I hope and pray that your video and your testimony will help others in the same situation. You have given me motivation and have inspired me to share my testimony and my experience with others, so hopefilly they won't make the same mistake. Thank you, Morgan and Paul.

I always forget how similar Morgan's story is to mine. Though, I will say, there was definitely an intentionality and manipulative quality present on behalf of the man I was dating. And, as a lesson to any single ladies reading this, if the man says he respects your boundaries, but then consistently pushes at those boundaries...Run!

For me, I slept with fiance at 18 I was saving myself for marriage and figured I was going to marry this person so I did it. Turns out he wasn't who I thought he was and we broke up when I was 21. This breakup and the fact that I broke my promise to God threw me into depression and I started drinking and sleeping with anyone. I had a child at 24 and met my now husband at 27. I re dedicated my life to Christ and now have a fulfilling life as a wife and mother of 3. It's amazing what the Lord will bring you out of when you FULLY give your life to him. :)

I would be very interested in a story about your BPD Morgan. And one on Paul's ADHD, the history and how that affects your life and relationships Paul.

Thank you so much Morgan for sharing! I do struggle with this. The loneliness and wanting someone to grow old with. The desire for sexual intimacy, but within a marriage. Trying to find a Christian man. But left with so much disappointment with trying to meet one. Even the dating apps have left me with a heaviness in my heart. Thinking that these men would conduct themselves in a Godly manner, and they don’t. And living in a world of sin. I feel like I only find men of the world. I have shared my desire with God for companionship. And try to leave it at His feet. As I move forward in my life. I work on accepting that I might live a life where that desire for companionship may not be His desire for me.

She had consensual with a man, there is nothing wrong with that. It is natural and completely normal

In ways, I see myself much like the man in the story. I say that I have certain desires, but my actions show otherwise. And I've seen how when two people are unequally yoked, boundaries get crossed left and right. I am in a "situationship" with a guy now and we've not done anything physically but we've said things that were definitely crossing the line. It's hard to admit that I am the one in the wrong/the one who's provoking temptation. Prayers for a clean heart and the desire for Christ and His righteousness would be appreciated. Thank you both for sharing

dude gives me property brother vibes

Morgan- I'm so sorry that you've been made to feel such shame about your past, and that your husband continues to perpetuate this shame and trauma for RU-vid views and to stroke his own fragile ego.

Hi dear Morgan and Paul! I really appreciate your honesty and openness! I just want to say once I heard a story from another girl who wanted to save herself for marriage, but she also met the wrong guy and the things happened what she didn’t wanted to happen. I liked it how she described her situation, she said maybe she is no more a virgin physically but spiritually she is a virgin again, bcoz the Lord forgave her and made her new from inside after she stopped and repented! Amen! You know me and my husband weren’t believers until our mid twenties we met in the church and we also wanted to wait until our wedding night, it was really hard to wait, but we were together like for 10 months so it wasn’t too long, it was possible to save sex for our marriage! You know what my husband then fiancé was telling me, he told me, it doesn’t matter the guy is a believer or not, it is the guy who will decide it and even if the girl doesn’t want the guy will be able to manipulate her in to doing it, he told me also it doesn’t matter how the girl is in her faith, max a week and the guy can make her to sleep with him, he told me also if he wanted he could also manipulate me in to doing it before marriage, but bcoz it is a big sin and it was our desire to wait, he still would marry me, bcoz he truly loved me, but it is just a prospective from a man who wasn’t a believer then became a believer! And it’s still so unfair bcoz always later the girl will be shamed and all say it’s her fault and the guy is like a victim! It is so difficult in this fallen world, Morgan was sooo young and our brain is like that, if there is a depression our brain will search for some quick relief to feel better, it doesn’t understand the consequences of such quick reliefs! God bless you!

Paul interrupted so much 😅

Kudos to Morgan to speak of her experience while every other sentence was edited by Paul. Kudos to Paul to semi contain yourself throughout this tale. Paul I believe that I’d feel as you do and in a way have ptsd over it as a follower. If you believe you’re “over it” I believe the term denial comes to mind. Morgan needs to continually support the insecurities that this produced. It appears you do and do it patiently and understand how vulnerable this can make the man who loves you feel. Godbless you both. I credit you both. Imo I believe as you did toward the later part (as you yourself said) “let the woman talk.” I think being transparent about this will help other young men and woman to stay committed to your beliefs. It’s a tough story for a man of any age to hear each and every time. Keep the love flowing. You’re both wonderful.

It cracks me up (and disgusts me that he is getting off by judging her) how MUCH he interrupts Morgan in order to convince himself. HOWEVER! Her admission that she “LOVES” talking about her past helps 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 And yet his facial expressions of distain are terrifying (and hilarious) This channel never fails to exhibit the mindf*ck that it is.

Premarital sex is not a sin in my opinion. If you’re in a relationship where you actually love and care for someone I don’t think it’s bad to have sex. I grew up believing premarital sex was a sin next to murder which is so harmful! And it messes with your head even after you get married cuz your mind doesn’t automatically switch to sex is good when you’ve been taught these bad things your about it your while life! Just know that your body is yours, and only you own your sexuality! Morgan I hope you know you don’t have to feel shame for your past! Sex is a normal part of life and you shouldn’t feel shame for it! Growing up I would beat myself up for having sexual thoughts, I thought I was going to hell! But I realized that it’s totally normal part of growing up! I hope that purity culture and the shame will come to an end one day! Still trying my best to heal from it

Thanks for being so open about this. I'm currently going through this now after being in a five year relationship with someone. Everyday is a constant struggle of being angry at myself for allowing myself to be so foolish and idolizing the person so much that it interfered with the teachings of christ.

From the comments, you can tell that people are entitled to tell people how to feel. Strangers on the Internet are quick to criticize Paul, like they know what Morgan feels

I think boundaries are a HUGE practical way to avoid this. But I don’t think people know what kind of boundaries to set and then therefore don’t set them at all.

Hi Morgan, could you please do a video on your borderline personality disorder and how you were diagnosed with it and why you were diagnosed with it and what symptoms you had and if you still struggle with it now and what treatments you used if any, etc etc etc. I have borderline personality disorder myself. Thank you.

There’s an obvious imbalance in their relationship because of this…..

Do not awaken love until it pleases! Absolutely. Loved the story. Love that Paul was able to accept your past, but I also loved that he cared about purity.

As someone who has also been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, have you ever struggled with the judgments or stigmas that have come with that diagnosis...I am getting retested because psychiatrists have continued to overlook my autism diagnosis and never include it in my mental health diagnosis, but I still wonder what I'll feel if they say, I still have Bpd... I find it difficult when people say certain things about those with Bpd, or when a psychologist says they don't like treating someone with Bpd because of some bizarre scenario. Is this something you relate to, and if so how have you gotten past it?

This was an amazing story! Thank you Morgan for being so honest and real. I was dumped six years ago because I refused to have sex with my ex. I'm so glad that I did what I did. I'm so grateful for my strong walk with God and now six years later (today) I'm single but, I'm apart of a great bible believing church/Community. God has really put some awesome people in my life and have helped me grow and me help them as well.

My story definitely has a lot of similarities, though my husband and I did end up getting married. We got together when I was 15 and he was 17, and were together for 3 and a half years before we got married, simply because we had to wait until I was 18 to get married. We shouldn't have been allowed to be in a serious relationship at that young of an age, not because we weren't mature enough (we were both the oldest siblings in our families and pretty mature for our age), but because our parents weren't willing to let us get married before the age of 18. We didn't have accountability whatsoever. We were both raised in the church, but at the time, my family had recently left the church altogether, his was not doing well at all, and we were left to our own devices. Three years is toooooooo long of a time. We kept pushing the envelope a little more and a little more and a little more. Like Paul said, a few years into a dating relationship and one would be hard pressed to believe that a couple dating that long wouldn't be having sex. There was so much guilt for me personally while we were dating because I knew sex before marriage was wrong, and I was doing the exact same thing in saying "okay, we crossed a line, let's not do that again." My now husband didn't pressure me and was always so kind and loving, and he himself had the same convictions, but I know that it is hard for a man to have been engaged in a regular sex life and then just cut off from it at random, whenever either of us would get to feeling too guilty. Praise the Lord that though we know that it was obviously wrong to be intimate before marriage, guilt and shame are not part of our marriage today. We have been married for 5 years and couldn't be happier ❤️ our families have both continued to go away from the faith in many ways, but praise God that we got together at such a young age and have been able to grow in Christ together. If I had been allowed to go one more year following the trajectory that my family was headed down,or if he had, who knows where we would be today. God knows, and he works all things for his glory, but we could have saved ourselves a lot of trouble if we had had a church, or family accountability, or anything to help us along.

Ladies must realize that no matter how secure a guy is in himself, it will ALWAYS eat at him deep down if he knows his wife had sex with someone else. God made us this way. It’s a feature not a bug. Please ladies, consider your future before you engage in the “now”. You might just block the blessing God has for you. I share this because there are alot of virgin men out there suffering. They are shamed for being “unforgiving” or “insecure” when the anger as Paul stated, or visceral dread is something deep inside us that we can’t really control. I know this is a controversial opinion, but it needs to be said… because many guys won’t vocalize it out of fear put on us by our current culture, but virgin men ALL experience this deep inside of them.

Morgan touched on having a close relationship with her boss at her church. I want to share a bit of advice about having a close personal relationship with your boss or employer, even when it’s at your church or in a Christian ministry setting. Although it’s wonderful to have a boss that you feel very close to and who you may even consider to be good friend, you need to remember that your primary relationship to that person n the workplace is a legal one. Along with that comes a major imbalance of power of which you have none. I highly recommend not disclosing detailed personal information to your boss about anything in your life, especially about your romantic relationships, your sex life, or your health. Definitely do not have them be your accountability partner. When working in churches or parachurch organizations, we often refer to ourselves as family, but you are not family. If you want to be close personal friends with your boss or have them as an accountability partner, do not work for them. I realize this sounds harsh to many, but it’s a reality. It’s have personal experience with this going bad, and it’s more common that you think. Also, if you love your church, don’t work for them. Chances are that once you get pass the facade of your church being the perfect workplace and you experience how painfully flawed even the seemingly most wonderful people can be, it will change a lot about your experience attending that church.

This is why once you break up with someone you should never go back because it only gets worse 😂 almost same exact story happened to me but now I’m single 🙌🏻

Although I don't agree with y'all's view, there are still important things to glean from this story, and I appreciate that Morgan seems to be sharing from a healthier and more confident place. The important things are to know your own mind, stand up for what you truly want for yourself so that you are not wasting your time and emotions on people who are not pouring into you. I don't believe one has to wait. There are ways to respect yourself and your partner(s) and have sex. I think the religious obsession with sex / purity is gross, as it's actually very objectifying, and probably causes more problems within people's minds alone than it cures. I think the traditional religious view on sex is being turned on its head so much these days because people are having more experiences that prove to them that waiting and marriage are not guarantees of a good partner or anything good to come. For example: Those who have had (or witnessed) damaging, religious marriages AND then a healthier, unmarried sexual relationship with someone else. Long rant - sorry.

Genuine question - considering your personal struggles with bpd and adhd, have you thought about how you will talk about and address mental health and wellness with your child(ren)?

I can so relate Morgan! Thank you for sharing! Any man that leads you into sin, is definitely not God’s will(I say this from experience). We didn’t have sex, but once one line was crossed, another soon was crossed. It’s surprising how quickly you become comfortable with sin. But like you I wasn’t in the Word like I normally was! I was praying for my will! Loneliness and grief was a weakness the devil got a foothold in! The truth always comes out in the end! I have like you, took my own accountability! Learnt from my mistakes and not to fill voids in my flesh, that only God can fill in the Spirit. I thank God for being patient and forgiving with me! That he saved me from myself! And the wrong man! We know clearly what the Bible says about the marriage covenant and like Paul rightly states! “A Godly man is a leader, he loves you like Christ!” Since I surrendered about the sin in my heart and flesh, the Lord has blessed me, I thank Him everyday for that. I was miserable in sin! Your story is so very relatable! Timed perfectly to help me feel understood and many other’s. God bless you both.

Morgan, this is so helpful and encouraging. Please ignore any hate as your good intentions to help others here are clear! Your vulnerability here is so encouraging. Love and God bless you guys ❤

This is so similar to my story, Morgan!! Even 10 years removed from it and happily married (to a different guy), I still deal with guilt. I’d love to maybe see a part 2 about how you healed after that experience! Lord bless you for being so vulnerable and open ❤️

I was worried about where this video was going, but I felt it was well done. As a much older Christian woman who didn’t get saved until later in life, I was making a mental list of all mistakes made along the way. And Morgan laid out every mistake I saw at the end. I’ve learned one- equally yoked goes beyond the person just saying they are a believer. And in Christian dating, there has to be firm boundaries and accountability.

Certainly resonates. Hope you don’t mind me adding that even if you do get married, that sin of disobedience to God follows you into your marriage and can create a separation between you, God, and your spouse. We must acknowledge our sin and confess it to be healed. Took me 23years to figure this out. I learned recently that it was my sin of idolatry of the relationship ahead of obedience to God that caused me to allow a man to lead me into his own sin of sexual impurity, and for 23 years I blamed him unable to see my own sin and confess it. God is good, and he redeems!

I had a guy who told me he was Christian. I asked him about his faith some more and he told me he didn’t believe the Bible or that church is good for us. I don’t understand how someone believe is Christ and not the Bible and I honestly don’t know if he really does believe. I’m so happy I asked more questions because I realized that we were not equally yoked.

I DEFINITELY didn’t expect your story. I usually assume if someone doesn’t end up saving themselves for marriage it’s because they didn’t intend to from the get-go. Thank you so much for sharing because as Paul said this must be the case for SO MANY people who set out trying to do the right thing and unknowingly (or knowingly) open a door to the enemy. I knew my husband was the man I was going to marry before we dated because I asked The Lord for confirmation. That did make it kind of harder to wait because we knew where our relationship was headed and that we’d eventually be husband and wife. We intended to have a longer engagement, but by Holy Spirit’s leading we ended up only being engaged for three days before we had our small wedding because God wasn’t calling us to draw things out. I was 23 and he was 30, so we didn’t have a ton of accountability (even though we asked for it) because everyone was like “you’re grown, so do what you want”. In the end-by God’s grace-we did make it to the marriage bed both as virgins, but it wouldn’t have happened without The Lord because we are imperfect and humans can be pretty impatient when we want something.

Thank you so much for sharing such a vulnerable story, Morgan. Your story has incredibly valuable lessons for both those who have been successful so far in their goal to save intimacy for marriage and for those who have stumbled. For whoever is reading this, please know that no matter where you are at, you are never too far gone. There is no sin too great that Christ will not forgive.

Morgan Thank you for sharing! I was in a 5 year relationship and we even lived together! I have a very similar story to the one you just shared. It was an extremely painful experience and I even got pregnant and lost a baby and he wasn't there for me much at all really through that process. The wages of sin is death people...I was so depressed all the time and I swore things would get better because I really thought he was the one. It was twisted and I was manipulated as well. There is hope ! I repented and left that relationship. This video is truly going to help many! God bless you !

Thank you, Morgan, for being vulnerable and sharing your story! Definitely a lot of food for thought.

Sometime last year I got close to a guy. We hadn't talked in like 5 years and then all of a sudden I reached out to him cause it as feeling lonely. And over time we realised that when we were younger we had feelings for one another but hadn't known. He was very kind and like I lurched onto him to help me get out of depression and eventually we went out together. Somewhere along the way we were kissing and then we went into this public bathroom and things went farrr. But thankfully I stopped it before we could go all the way but we jumped so many boundaries in one day...I feel so guilty, dirty, and ashamed. I asked the Lord to forgive me but I still feel that self condemnation and I can't get over it. I wish I could take it back. All of it. But I realise that at that time I was in a rough rough place and instead of turning to God I turned to him and we r both Christians. What bugs me is that it was so easy and what if it happens again? Yeesh it's all a mess but it's encouraging to know that am not alone and many older Christians like Paul and Morgan are there to help. By the way I dunno there ages when I say older cause am in my early 20s and they look older than that so lol.

Along with many others in the comments, I experienced a very similar thing with my ex of 4 years. We went to church together and I thought I could bring him closer to Christ, but he ended up pulling me away. At 16 yrs old and 1 year into dating, I was told that if I didn’t have sex with him then he couldn’t be around me anymore. He had lost his virginity (while we were broken up for 4 months), and he told me it was “painful” to just kiss me. I still remember having the sorrowful feeling of giving up something I wasn’t ready to give up. He treated me like trash for my very first time and then I felt like I had to marry him (never did though). Unfortunately, it continues to affect my intimacy with my husband today. I am praying that one day I can find the peace you seem to have in this area. Thank you for sharing your story❤

Guys, let this video be a lesson to you and create your own past. Christian women have a past just like non Christian women do. Christian women struggle with lust and ex boyfriend pressure just as much as non Christian women.

Honest, Open, and Transparent. Love it, thanks for the lessons today. You guys rock!

I had such a similar past, it was very healing to listen to your story. Thanks Morgan

Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing this redemption story! It’s so helpful to learn from y’all’s wisdom ❤

My wife and I both had sex before marriage and we weren't each other's first. It was never a big deal

Paul, I wanna correct you on something (in love) 2 1/2 years is a long time to wait in Protestant circles, but I don’t see this problem as often among practicing Catholic young adults. When I was a Protestant, I remember it was VERY common to see ppl get hitched within a few months of knowing each other, and looking back, I think it’s a terrible idea.. in large part, very juvenile and a reflection of not taking marriage seriously enough. Or practicing self control over desires.. In the Catholic Church, you must do a mandatory 8 months of premarital counseling before marriage.. and that’s after engagement. Which means most people are dating for at LEAST 2 years before getting married. As you should, since it’s the second most important decision you ever make (behind choosing to follow the Lord). There’s this odd hedonistic, spiritually immature attitude in most Protestant circles that goes something like “well we might as well go ahead and get married so that we don’t stumble into sin” and I just can’t imagine feeling like you’re ready for marriage if that’s your line of reasoning. It makes it about the sex, rather than the covenant in my opinion. It’s just like so disordered..

You know what, I was trying to write a response that justified premarital sex in todays day and age but the more I tried to give an example, the more I realized it wasn't really a justification to have sex and not marry. Honestly, I can only say that every person has to aim for purity of heart and the absolute avoidance of sin. I still dont think poorly on premarital sex, but I do think it is not the best choice. And honestly, the cristian and catholic traditional way of dating is preety much bulletproof if both parts are willing to truly commit to the way it should be. You meet people in church (already in church), which allows you to see if they hold the same values and beliefs as you do and their commitment. You go out and chat and talk about life and plans and dreams and hobbies. You figure out creative ways to spend time together without it being a recipie for lust and sin, so you find out the true passions and interests of eachother, yoj end uo sharing hobbies and perspectives. And since there is no sex at the end of the date or for the weekend both parts have to truly enjoy that time and be clear about how much they are liking the dinamic and the activities and the dates. Honesty is cultivated there, patience, self control, creativity, communication... and then, when both parts think they are on track for more, they get the community envolved directly in their relationship. Mom, dad, pastor, counseling, friends... everybody is going to point out little things and make the hard quesions. And then the couple gets engaged, and they go through real counseling and harder questions and resisting temptation cuz now that marriage is a promise with a date sex is around the corner right? And then the real hard struggle of containning that lust is presented. And lust is not bad, but it is a very dangerous weapon for evil to use to move someone towards sin and poor choices. So, the engagement and ciuncelkng period begins and the relationship goes through real pressure. And if both parts are jonest and they are both holding God and his will as the most sacred thing in existance, then the test is actually hard because both parts know they can't lie to God and if both parts are honest, and there happens to be a real problem, then it is gonna get brought up. So once you are set for marriage, you've been through dating and being formaly in a relationship and being observed and then engaged and much more heavily observed and called out and all of that, you get married. And the community stays there, slowly backing up, but still present and envolved. That is the setup for success if done properly. And it will take at least 2 years for most couples to go from "I like you and I would like to date you" to "Now we are married honey". And still, tradition calls for a honeymoon phase and then a restructuring phase and then the children. So, what? 2 years of marriage? 4 years of intentionally setting up that marriage for success before it becomes a family that will bring new life to this world. Believe me, that is better than 6 years of "we will figure it out, I will worry later. He will settle down and change", "her mood will get better, she has to mature some day", "maybe I can talk her into my way", "yeah, we dont agree much and we dont share interests but sex is great and you would be surprised how much it solves".

WE NEED A BPD STORYTIMEEEEEE LIKE THIS COMMENT IF YOU 💗JESUSSSSSSSSSS

Thank you for sharing your story, Morgan! And I love how protective Paul is of you and his healthy anger towards your ex-boyfriend. I can only pray for a future husband as great as Paul. I also want to say that this definitely resonates with me, too. I've never had sex or kissed a guy and I've been single most of my life so far, but it has been getting harder and harder as I'm getting older (I'm 30 now) to keep my mind pure from sexual thoughts and lust. I resonate with your story in that I feel as if I'm experiencing the same slippery slope into sin as you were having, but it is more mental than physical. I admit (regretfully) that I've watched some R-rated movies with some intense sex scenes, that I never thought I would watch, but I did. And I can never unsee what I saw. I know that it's wrong and that it doesn't fulfill me, and I also know that God is forgiving if I repent, but repenting can be very hard. To Paul and Morgan and to anyone else reading this, do you have any advice for turning away from sin regarding sexual thoughts and watching sexual content? Thanks in advance.

But also, I wanna thank you for sharing this… bc you’re right. There are so many people out there who are struggling with loneliness, who are so close to compromising.. so thanks for your boldness 🙏❤️

Morgan, you did wonderfully sharing your story and I'm sure it'll be a huge encouragement to so many others! Thank you! Paul, you had a lot of great add-ins to Morgan's points and I love your example of forgiveness and acceptance when someone is a new creature in Christ! At the same time, your statement that when you've heard that someone's dated for two-and-half years, you're almost assuming sex is happening was so insulting. Just because a couple is dating for a couple of years does not mean they're living together, nor does it say anything about how much nonsexual physical affection they're giving each other. You have to be able to consistently see what a person's like at their best and worst to know what they're really like and just because someone is dating longer than you personally suggest, it doesn't say anything about if they're having sex. Don't just make disgusting assumptions about other believers simply because they don't agree with you on how long is a reasonable amount of time to date. Love believes and hopes all things.

Thanks for sharing Morgan! It's true that boundaries are very difficult to keep, especially when they're not being discussed. My husband and I dated for a year and 7 months, got married another 7 moths later. It was difficult, but we worked hard at keeping those boundaries.

Amen! This is all so true, I have also experienced a lot of this! Christians LISTEN! If a man wants all your time and it takes away from what God has given you in ministry such as church, family, friends, He is not going to be one to support you in your ministry when yall are married. Keep running after God! You won't miss the right man! Thank you Jesus!

I know how Morgan feels or felt. Pre-marital sex is “fun” for a season then the emotional damages can be devastating into your future but not something God can not redeem and heal us from. Christian men and christian women please do not lead each other astray in secret sexual sin. My advice as well is to get off dating apps if the temptation is for you to date or hook up with non christian men. Don’t go clubbing if you are tempted to date or hook up with non christian men. You have to set up boundaries so that premarital sex doesn’t happen. Please tell a pastor or close trusted christian friend if you are currently in secret sexual sin, it’s not worth the damage it can cause long term.. lower your pride and embarrassment and confess your sins… sexual sin is a very difficult sin to overcome on your own.. you need christian community to get out of it! Trust me on this. I’m age 36 and I’m not a virgin, I’ve made these mistakes. Also get a accountability partner and remember the heart is deceitful above all else. Lust and love are opposites too. Don’t give up, there is hope and don’t struggle with secret sexual sin on your own. Feel free to pm me on this post and I can try help you:) god bless all ❤❤❤. PS:- Thanks for sharing your story, I have traits of BPD,PTSD… have had depression and anxiety.. so can totally relate to you!! This video blessed me ❤❤❤ From Jess in Australia 🇦🇺

Precious Paul and Morgan! Being so honest and vulnerable, Morgan, takes a LOT of courage. The purpose is to help and warn others and tell the truth in love ✝. And therefore your "personal story" is so powerful and healing for all your listeners. Thank you, kind Morgan for sharing your high and lows with us in order to bless us❤. You have a BLESSED and beautiful marriage that honors God and He is so PROUD of both of you. Much love xxx

Thank you, Morgan for being vulnerable and sharing your story😊 Thank you Paul for opening up about your feelings as well.

Thank you so much for sharing. I have been through a very tough time with a very similar situation. Your story is so encouraging and inspiring. It truly lets people know, and opens their eyes, that Jesus Christ can provide a way out. Not only of this, but of everything sinful that tries to overtake us. Thank you again. You guys are such an inspiring and beautiful Christ-filled couple✝️💟

Thanks so much for opening up more Morgan! I can definitely relate to your testimony with my past but so thankful for God’s grace and forgiveness ❤

Thank you for sharing, so many good things to learn from! It is so very hard to break the silence and ask for help/admit wrong. Especially with crossing boundaries in relationships. My husband and I did not have sex before marriage, thank God, but we definitely got closer than I ever imagined. I wish I would’ve known who to talk to to address some patterns. I have wonderful godly parents as well, but would’ve been more comfortable opening up to someone else. There’s so much shame around sexual sin in the Christian circle. Those kinds of patterns before marriage do carry over into marriage, it just looks different. Thankfully my husband and I are happily married and have worked through those things!

This is a good message how important it is for women to focus on their values during dating and to find partners with values that match ours. Someone who loves you would never want to compromise something important to you.

Thanks so much for sharing! Can very much relate, tho I ended up getting pregnant 😬 thankfully the guy stayed with me and we’re married now expecting our fourth 😅 I would LOVE to hear more about how your BPD affects your marriage, and any strategies you have to deal with it in a healthy way. Been one of many things that I’ve struggled with that has really hurt my husband and obviously I don’t want that yet it has seemed uncontrollable most of the time.

I love how excited Paul was about this whole story and all of the morals that came out of it . Also you guys talked about the men being called to be spiritual leaders, are there verses about this? I’ve wondered about it for a long time

It's beautiful to see the honest n her partner just so supportive n not being judged this is def God's work. Stay blessed

This is so good, it’s so easy to slip in to sin! It’s really true that if you give it the slightest chance to happen it will… stay safe 💕

I needed to hear this 😢 Thank you for sharing! Although I have not had sex with my fiancé. We have definitely crossed the lines and this has given me strength to say we need accountability. Please pray I can have the hard conversation with my fiancé because I always chicken out. Thank you for shedding some light on how the enemy works.

She got played lol, but she wanted to have sex so she talked herself into it. Dating at 17 is pointless if you're dating for marriage. But, kids are bored, have a lot of free time and no wisdom at all. So there's that lol. It is what it is.

Love you, Morgan!! Thank you for shedding light on the importance of truly dating to Marry.✝️😊

There’s nothing I love more about Christians than watching them speculate about which unmarried couples are probably having sex. It’s weird, and we all know what happens when we make assumptions.

I'm not a Christian but I strongly disagree the idea of premariatal sex and I'm 17 and I'm going to save it for marraige . May God help me

I found your channel after getting out of a relationship similar to this. I knew the guy from high school and he happened to go to the same college as me. He had a girlfriend first and dated me right after. He claimed to be a be a believer, was raised in a Christian home, but he didn't seem to believe in boundaries except for sex. He was very touchy and even my parents would notice and have to express their disapproval of that to him. And we would have discussions after lines were crossed, mainly because I would bring it up and say we shouldn't be doing that. And then it would happen again and again. No matter how I tried to tell him it was wrong, he just couldn't or wouldn't see it. This went on for about two years. We got engaged, but broke up a month in by the grace of God, he was going for a career that I didn't feel comfortable with. But I was feeling close to a breaking point after being engaged. And on top of that he had been verbally abusive a few times and even a little physically once or twice. I fell into a deep depression after, angry and ashamed of everything, and months passed before I finally told my mother. It was a long healing process for me and I'm very grateful God helped me out of it when I couldn't get out myself.

Paul constantly blames the bloke she had sex with but we don't hear his side. The American Christian culture puts far more laws and guilty on young Christians than the bible does. So glad I live in the UK. I remained a virgin till marriage but thank God I didn't have US culture. It's oppressive

A lot of these comments are very much against Paul...

Does this apply to us interracial couples too?

This is very similar to my own story. We both wanted to wait till marriage but we didn't know what that meant. One thing led to another from kissing. After we crossed all the boundaries, I also kept thinking "well we already did it, what's the point in stopping now". And when Temptation came i gave into it and went out of my way to lure my boyfriend into this sin. Most of the time I was the initiator. But I hated how this sin made us see each other and how far we've gone from God. We got more numb and numb to our sins. The holy spirit telling me "stop", i heard it at first but the more we progress in sin the less we felt conviction. We just decided that we will not kiss at all from now on until the wedding day (if it's God's will for us to marry). This sin has really made me confused about whether He's the one to marry or not. He encourages me to do devotionals and he had asked me some really good questions regarding marriage. But the sin we committed together makes me question whether that means he isn't someone I should marry. It makes me think "what if I'm blinded to things because of the bond we created through sexual sin". Maybe that's not the case. Maybe it IS a redemption story for both of us. But who knows besides God? At this point I don't even know what I want with this man because I'm so confused. I'm just gonna do the right thing from now and pray while waiting for God's will to be done...

I know today's video ending up being more controversial than you probably expected, so I just wanted to send you guys love for being so open and sharing! Even if I don't always agree, I love your hearts and am thankful for your honesty! 💖

Thanks for sharing! My husband and I had pre-marital sex (with others before each other AND with eachother before coming to Christ). Even though our stories are very different, it’s helpful to hear these stories from other believers. I’d be curious to know if you’ve had issues in your marriage because of having had pre-marital sex (we definitely did at the beginning) and if it was a struggle to “start over” and wait until marriage.

I love how Paul isn’t judgmental but supportive. Setting a really good example of love. Morgan of course I can relate just as most women probably can. Thanks for keeping it real💗

25:01 I'm confused by the he forgives her part. Forgives her for what? She didn't do anything to him.

I am thankful for you that God gave you such a wonderful testimony and redeemed you and your life. I had a friend who had a similar life and God redeemed her life, too. She ended up in a wonderful marriage. Mine wasn't as blessed and when temptation came my way, I just assumed God would do the same for me, too. Unfortunately, that was not the case. I lied about my past which added sin to sin. I was afraid of losing him. I was not a Christian, but I knew right from wrong. After getting married and then getting saved, I confessed. Didn't go like yours did. Sin will take you further than you want to go, make you pay more than you want to pay, and make you stay longer than you want to stay. Spent the first half of my life ruining the second half. God has forgiven me, but still there are consequences.

I may not be Christian and I don't personally think it is wrong to have premarital sex, but I feel so awful you had to go through that with your ex. It truly is a shame to be with someone who oversteps your boundaries time and time again.

It's hard Paulie stop hurting yourself

It felt so sad when Morgan said that didn’t have any friends. It seems so unfair, you seem to have amazing soul!

May we please have that storytime about the borderline personality disorder, Morgan?

Amen Morgan, thank you for sharing. I have a similar story and praise God for his redemption. I’m now happily married to a godly man who leads me spiritually and has never put me down for my past. ❤️