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How Narcissist Disables Your Alarm System (Zombies, Zimbos, Contagion) 

Prof. Sam Vaknin
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Narcissists are externally indistinguishable from full-fledged human beings. But they have no core or stable identity. Your uncanny valley alarm system doesn't go off because it is damaged. The narcissist proceeds to penetrate your defenses and leverage your vulnerabilities in order to convert you into a clone of himself, his traits and behaviors (this is known as CPTSD or complex trauma). Narcissism is contagious.
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2 сен 2023

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Комментарии : 108   
@angelakh4147
@angelakh4147 9 месяцев назад
Our uncanny valley alarm system wasn’t just shut off during childhood abuse. The uncanny valley experience actually became not only familiar, but desirable. We are drawn to these Zimboes and narcissists.
@c.guinevere
@c.guinevere 9 месяцев назад
The problem for me was that my uncanny valley alarm was always activated because of the environment I grew up in, so it never went off long enough for me to feel it turn on around a zombie. I always felt something off when I met a narc, but my alarm system was so overwhelmed already that I couldn't feel the increased threat.
@yoyoma17
@yoyoma17 9 месяцев назад
Yes, wow, this describes my situation as well.
@terrijones1167
@terrijones1167 9 месяцев назад
Thank you Professor. They have a script that must be adhered to and as such this manifests in robotic and repeat repeat behaviour.....abuse is dished out if you refuse to be a good object and follow their script....the uncanny valley feeling which I have experienced is because on an animalistic level I know they are not human. Primal senses.
@chris9527
@chris9527 9 месяцев назад
Narcissist don't have a script that's why they live a miserable life they forgot to write the script and expect you to write the script and how dare you get their script wrong and think for one second you can quit you're acting job. they cannot take you being luke Skywalker they instead cast you for the role of gweedo. Deep insecurity causes people to abuse others and deep insecurity makes a horror movie Everytime.
@cherriescheries
@cherriescheries 9 месяцев назад
Zimbo is real.. Anyone that never experience zimbo won't comprehend it.
@kiwicatnip
@kiwicatnip 7 месяцев назад
Yes! I have always felt this discomfort around toxic/suspected narcissists/cluster b people with no seeming cause, I can feel that something is off or wrong when I am around them and it sets off this feeling of fear deep in my core. I feel totally disengaged around these people and I have been right about them many times. But I am still confused as to why I ended up in relationships with narcissists. This “alarm” being deactivated by trauma makes sense as to why my mom does not see people as toxic, has kept so many toxic friends around and was not able to protect me or see that there was anything wrong with the way I was being treated. Wow
@SK-sy7zp
@SK-sy7zp 5 месяцев назад
it's fear and it's actually scary, maybe that's why we tent to "ignore". Kinda similar to the fear I had towards my mother but not as big.
@margiel2180
@margiel2180 2 месяца назад
Wow me too thanks
@stansmiley9737
@stansmiley9737 9 месяцев назад
I’m Haitian and what you are saying is true and it is still practiced to this day..
@cherriescheries
@cherriescheries 9 месяцев назад
For real?? You have zombie in Haiti?
@stansmiley9737
@stansmiley9737 8 месяцев назад
@@cherriescheries yes.. they are alive but dead.. and they slave for their master.
@idimidoimi717
@idimidoimi717 8 месяцев назад
​@@stansmiley9737How they achieve that and for what purpose? I'm surprised that your government doesn't stop that.
@paulogunyemi8617
@paulogunyemi8617 8 месяцев назад
​​@@idimidoimi717there is no government in Haiti
@ds37215
@ds37215 2 дня назад
​@@idimidoimi717 the herbal remedies put people into a highly suggestible and trance-like state.
@dakotaridgek9
@dakotaridgek9 9 месяцев назад
I hope you grasp how deeply you are helping some of us. The only thing that was real was my pain. You really truly have been THE ONE I have chosen to listen to and believe….and trust. You clarify all of my intuition. I am not insane. And you “make it make sense”. I want to take “my” narcissist and deliver him to you. Tie him to the saint andrews cross and torture him with reality. But i carry his Polaroid within me. My greatest teacher. I am reborn, without him. The parasite who drained me of Life.
@sophiediscobarre944
@sophiediscobarre944 9 месяцев назад
What a response. Agree with everything you've said. I reached final stage of healing this week and Sam has been integral to this process
@barbarascoggins5239
@barbarascoggins5239 9 месяцев назад
Such of a relief when it's explained. Big sigh! Thank you Sam! You are am amazing Genius in your field!
@angelsavita524
@angelsavita524 9 месяцев назад
I second that!!!! I do believe everything equals out via karma … sometimes that takes time but it do and will happen.
@alwaysrighton
@alwaysrighton 8 месяцев назад
Relief ! The one good thing they accomplish during the relationship is they make the post breakup feel better/healthier/happier without them. Don't mistake feelings of complex trauma for love...
@leventunver
@leventunver Месяц назад
@@sophiediscobarre944 What are the stages of the healing process?
@anabandana666
@anabandana666 9 месяцев назад
Excellent lecture, thank you for calling upon the reactivation of instincts put to sleep in my childhood, reenacted in my adult life. These sentences are a candle in a cave, getting brighter.
@phinton314
@phinton314 9 месяцев назад
" Narcissized," is a great description of how they cocoon and suck your life force.
@jaygrambling79
@jaygrambling79 9 месяцев назад
I am one who's uncanny valley alarm is broken. However, I have learned from experience to recognize the pattern of feelings and sensations that I do seem to experience in the presence of narcissists, psychopaths, etc. as those that should be ringing the alarms. This took many decades.
@beatagoodluck-qg1we
@beatagoodluck-qg1we 5 месяцев назад
Prof. Sam Vaknin. Once again a wealth of knowledge. I am so grateful to you for your knowledge and generosity. You are God sent person on my path. You played and continue to play a massive role in my evolution as a human. I have grown so much in 2023 because of your presence and your channel. THANK YOU! A good karma to you! Bless you!
@paulmaguire2714
@paulmaguire2714 9 месяцев назад
Recognition is the key.Stay awake.Body snatchers?Clones?
@tathe3786
@tathe3786 9 месяцев назад
The one I dealt with told me when he treats me like trash… and I said: I am human and what you do is is not like a human reacts to an other human. Its like you have no empathy.. he said: I am a human to, like you!!! And most time that was the end of discussion.. when I tried to explain what human behave looks like in this kind of situation, he raged at me and told me to stop discus with him.. that mAkes him angry 😡 and if he gets angry I am the one that will get the bate for it! And if you are in the fog you don’t recognize this strange behave!!
@777Honeypie
@777Honeypie 9 месяцев назад
I wouldn't have believed it had I not experienced it. Bad to have gone through, but glad I can understand.
@tathe3786
@tathe3786 9 месяцев назад
@@777Honeypie thx for telling me this … yes if you went trough it you believe it!!!
@professorchaos9
@professorchaos9 9 месяцев назад
Around them I get a sudden wave of feeling of emptiness inside me, it's also my narc radar, I asume this is the uncanny valley feeling.
@viorelagocs
@viorelagocs 9 месяцев назад
Dear professor Vaknin, maybe you could make a video about the narcissist's relationship with humor. The narcissist I've known for 2.5 years has never even once uttered any resemblance to a joke, or reacted to any jokes of mine. This always puzzled me...
@samvaknin
@samvaknin 9 месяцев назад
Search the channel.
@stayce751
@stayce751 9 месяцев назад
Yes!!!! I experienced the same thing.
@Julisssssssska
@Julisssssssska 8 месяцев назад
Mine had a fake laughter that creeped me out...
@viorelagocs
@viorelagocs 7 месяцев назад
@@Julisssssssska 😆 Oh dear!... Now I feel lucky...
@paradanmellow
@paradanmellow 4 месяца назад
​@@Julisssssssskai knew a narcissistic psychopath that didn't know how to laugh, the best she managed was donkey. It really snapped me out of the joke with shock about so much lack of self-awareness
@evadeenbrickwood6682
@evadeenbrickwood6682 Месяц назад
In Southern Africa, we call people from Zimbabwe Zimbos in slang.
@ckl5801
@ckl5801 9 месяцев назад
Thanks Prof. Vaknin…I had never considered this. Realizing I suffer from CPTSD I felt very encouraged saying that this is something that can be healed. Unfortunately I have spent decades with Narcs in my family of origin and 14 years of marriage. I want to believe I haven’t been “infected” with an incurable Zimbo virus. This thought is anxiety provoking. Please address. Thanks!
@samvaknin
@samvaknin 9 месяцев назад
CPTSD is reversible regardless of the length of exposure.
@doasyoulikefawkes7127
@doasyoulikefawkes7127 3 дня назад
As a cptsd survivor victim this is pure gold dust.Thankyou so much Sam. I hope that you are well.✨️peace.
@jenniferking8742
@jenniferking8742 8 месяцев назад
Thank you Sam for the distinction between complex trauma victims being transient and cluster B, borderline being a life long condition. I Checking boxes does not equal the real thing. I have been waiting for this distinction to be explained.
@oritcroft6263
@oritcroft6263 9 месяцев назад
Is it possible to have narcissistic "relationships" online mainly? Is it possible for a narcissistic to groom you online and build a shared dream like reality? If so, It's more of a nightmare, lol.
@samvaknin
@samvaknin 9 месяцев назад
Yes, it is possible.
@holliisixx
@holliisixx Месяц назад
Pedophiles do it all the time on social media, getting nudes from underage girls and then blackmailing them. i used to hear stories as a teen all the time. U never heard of amanda?
@holliisixx
@holliisixx Месяц назад
U never heard of the amanda todd cyberbullying case?
@trekker3468
@trekker3468 9 месяцев назад
Thank you for sharing this information. Your videos over time have filled in gaps of many things, and I am grateful. There was a time when my alarm was ignored.
@voodoochile4147
@voodoochile4147 9 месяцев назад
“…narcissized…” Yes!
@violancetherapy
@violancetherapy 9 месяцев назад
Well I’m losing it as i am looking inside of my very other self . I cannot find anything and it’s never been this empty. I’m questioning everything, feeling down and hungry for a flame to burn in my sickened stomach. I feel like a fish . Talking under water and the mumbling bubbles of my sound won’t echo , nor be heard. Not even by my very other selfs own ear ! Can i make something from all this confusion, pilling dust , flesh and bone in my frame? Am i even here ? In now ? Then ? Professor i need a way out . Out of my dreamy nightmares . Fantasy has gone failed? I have no idea, i can just talk and talk but nevertheless my own words come out , i don’t know when i got here ! How i ended up in bed with horrific fear of being feared! ” Get out ! Get out of your room .”i scream out to myself. Another night passed by and i still can’t take no rest . My head feels empty but so full-feeled . My stomach hurts as i crawl on my side to see the sun riser above the cloudy skies , my eyes go blurry, blink blinded , sight, i cannot stand the shadow of my every other own self doubting doubts
@barbarascoggins5239
@barbarascoggins5239 9 месяцев назад
Wow, at last I have an explanation of why they are so cruel. It's as if they have no choice. That's a Xombie 😢
@alinapercovich2671
@alinapercovich2671 9 месяцев назад
Muchas gracias, pusiste en palabras lo que estoy sintiendo y me ayudaste a comprender mas profundamente este tema vital para mi en este momento.
@tcruzful
@tcruzful 9 месяцев назад
I was diagnosed with bpd in my 20s. I'm 46 now. I was raised by a npd mother and I've had 5 npd partners. I know what they are. So my alarm hasn't been disabled...I'm trying to win. My question is could this actually be cptsd? Because transient or lifelong....could just be from how many times I've gone through this? If that makes any sense at all.
@tcruzful
@tcruzful 9 месяцев назад
@@dogwalks441 I understand. I have the fear of abandonment when I'm with a narcissist only. But 5 of the 9 relationships I've had were with narcissists
@minor12828
@minor12828 Месяц назад
This video contain lot of interesting info. Got to watch it couple of times👍
@dakotaridgek9
@dakotaridgek9 9 месяцев назад
Second Order False Belief - check.
@mfoster90
@mfoster90 9 месяцев назад
Thank you. Appreciate your videos. 🌸
@horse286
@horse286 9 месяцев назад
Thank You Very Much Master❤
@8bitgamerC64
@8bitgamerC64 9 месяцев назад
Are narcissists an evolutionary throwback/reversion? I came to this conclusion many years ago after watching the main narc in my family. I always wondered what her thought process was. It seemed overly simplistic, as was her behaviour.
@tara-fq3bi
@tara-fq3bi 9 месяцев назад
I think so... We are the upgrades. They are "missing" parts it seems.
@GavabundoFagundes
@GavabundoFagundes Месяц назад
Most likely. Since our species has grown exponentially, and any absurd growth of something causes a "Bubble" (economic jargon), or Newton's Third Law. I think Narcs are the "opposing force" to Human Species ever rising growth, that should "maintain equilibrium".
@user-pt9ze9wq4u
@user-pt9ze9wq4u 9 месяцев назад
Very very interesting video, you are the best and I’m sure the only who understand and explain narcissism so deep
@jaatee18
@jaatee18 9 месяцев назад
Im learning ... still: thank you Dr. !
@mihaelagogu861
@mihaelagogu861 9 месяцев назад
Isn't it always dangerous to label other human beings as "not human beings "?
@samvaknin
@samvaknin 9 месяцев назад
Not FULLY human. The truth is sometimes risky and unpalatable - but it is still the truth.
@claudine516
@claudine516 9 месяцев назад
Dad is AsPD and what not, I couldn't sense the zimbo up to recently, seems to be a lot of them about.
@avadhuta_4
@avadhuta_4 9 месяцев назад
I still don't really understand what is a narcissist. In theory, I seem to get it, but in practice I get confused. Many non-narcissists seem to have narcissistic qualities, and vice versa. How to measure these things? I seem to think that emotion, or intensity equals life, even if unconscious. I can't believe in consciousness as such, or I don't trust it. Could we have a zombie that is conscious? I do think so. We can have somatic, and cerebral zombies.... I also have a strong feeling that narcissism phenomenon is collective.. and just avoiding one person, or two doesn't really help. That there are no easy solutions .
@stephaniemillsaps3626
@stephaniemillsaps3626 2 месяца назад
LOVE 🙏🙏🙏
@vildanb8038
@vildanb8038 9 месяцев назад
Thank you !!! You the best !!
@GreyCat827
@GreyCat827 8 дней назад
Thank you.
@martapuszynska7517
@martapuszynska7517 9 месяцев назад
Professor Vaknin, this is out of topic of todays video, but I wanted to ask under the latest one to maximise chances of reply. You sometimes recommend in your videos literature and authors that you value a lot like Camus books or "Bahave" by Sapolsky. Would you mind to share in any form you top 10 (or more) psychology books for example or top authors? You are incredibly eloquent and educated. I want to read what you read.
@glenyshill72
@glenyshill72 9 месяцев назад
Sam mentioned Daniel Dennett in this vlog.
@estellewarren62
@estellewarren62 8 месяцев назад
We don't have access to anyone's mind?
@plumbingnetwork5067
@plumbingnetwork5067 9 месяцев назад
If they're not human, what are they? What would be the social/moral/legal consequences of having detected such a creature? If they have a different nature from us, they can't change it and become human. They will never be human. Can a dog change its nature? Or a cat? As a consequence, should they have the same rights as human beings?
@samvaknin
@samvaknin 9 месяцев назад
Watch my videos on what defines a human.
@mariallanestimoneda2664
@mariallanestimoneda2664 9 месяцев назад
​@@samvakninhello professor. Which video?
@RHope7
@RHope7 3 месяца назад
This is the fate of the Christian tribulation. Christ died so that men no longer live unto zimbos. 2 corinthians 5.15. Be reflective, be worthy.
@virtuallyrealistic
@virtuallyrealistic 9 месяцев назад
With few exceptions, the people skills of the management team of my former employer were almost always off. Their attitude towards those working under them had an air of “these people are worthless”. It seemed so disconnected from the reality that we as middle management had hired these “worthless” people. So who was to blame for this lamentable situation? It was also demonstrated when we were in restaurants. It was de rigueur to complain mercylessly to the wait staff about any and everything about the food and service. You might think it was to create a reason to be stingy on the tip but no! The tip was paid in full. It was apparent to me it was to demonstrate the twisted semblance of a human in upper management, just how demeaning and demanding they could be. The message was that these were the skills necessary to succeed. My attitude was that I knew how to manage without the rude drama. I was not a good fit. The corporation no longer exists. First ethically bankrupt than financially. It takes hard work to go bankrupt while making a good profit.
@marciareynolds1869
@marciareynolds1869 9 месяцев назад
I noticed uncanny valley and retired earlier than I wanted. I think I saved myself some big trouble.
@mariamoldovan1017
@mariamoldovan1017 9 месяцев назад
Owàaaòoo ! Many thanks !
@rosilenealbino5338
@rosilenealbino5338 9 месяцев назад
Por favor, legendas nos comentários. Obrigada
@samvaknin
@samvaknin 9 месяцев назад
Subscribe to the @NarcisismocomMirna channel.
@HostofMirrors
@HostofMirrors 9 месяцев назад
Does the uncanny valley feeling come up with someone with BPD? I suspect that I could have NPD + BPD after my relationship with my ex, but when we met I was highly intoxicated, but the second time we met and I was sober my inner monologue was screaming "she's not real, she's pretending to be someone else, and why are you doing this to me?" I kept feeling like something was off for nearly two months.
@samvaknin
@samvaknin 9 месяцев назад
Uncanny valley reactions are triggered by narcissists, psychopaths, and histrionics.
@HostofMirrors
@HostofMirrors 9 месяцев назад
@@samvaknin Thank you for responding. Okay, that kinda makes sense with HPD. I could see her having HPD, but it seems like she's definitely tamed some things. I always felt it was something else. However, that could be my cognitive distortions. I guess everyone is different and not everyone has all the traits, but I would think I would have expected to notice the speech or other things. I'm constantly trying to figure out who she was, but I need to let it go. 😅
@HostofMirrors
@HostofMirrors 9 месяцев назад
@@samvaknin Follow up question, I felt a sense of danger around this person early on (I felt kidnapped and needed to run away), but this person was fully capable of crying, and always showed love. Do you think that could have been HPD for the sense of feeling in "danger?" Or could this be my cognitive distortions and paranoia?
@northpole4592
@northpole4592 9 месяцев назад
Thanks for sharing your great knowdledge, although I only have time for practical advice (steps for getting rid of the psychopat. Not for studying him. He can go to hell). How can we get a guide? Otherwise we will fail. I do not intend to be 10 years in therapy, or end at the street with nothing, or waiting until I find for myself the way out. I am almost there, but probably I will take a wrong decision if I do not find a coach/guide. I have spent all my money already twice trying to escape bc I am a totally damaged person now. Blocked, rages, maybe narcissist traits etc. You are right, I was suspicious I am not acting normal, and here it is the explanation. But you completely forget the isolation. Kill myself after 50 years of suffering is becoming my way out after 35 years of trying to escape without success.
@barbarascoggins5239
@barbarascoggins5239 9 месяцев назад
Is this to be considered as Evil? No soul? We all want labels to make sense of it all. That's a downside. When your confused you want clarity even though the world is muddy. Thoughts? Just curious 🤔
@RHope7
@RHope7 3 месяца назад
It isn't considered evil to be comparative. Therefore, they are seduced as 'the betters'. "More than you". Its effects are evil that satisfy only with control of what we should consider valuable as a human state of admiration. A balance of mind has to 'fork stick' its efforts. I found this in the evolution of faith recognising our collective respect purpose is irritated by exploitative motive. The prophesy of Christ does this. Worthiness is not a comparative smugness.
@susanrennie9827
@susanrennie9827 9 месяцев назад
I received so much from this session. May I ask one question. Effect, cognition and connection. Am I hearing the words correctly?
@samvaknin
@samvaknin 9 месяцев назад
Conation.
@viorelagocs
@viorelagocs 9 месяцев назад
I believe it's "affect".
@samvaknin
@samvaknin 9 месяцев назад
@@viorelagocs Yes, affect.
@amberwinters395
@amberwinters395 23 дня назад
On first meeting, he told me he was autistic. I filtered his behavior through that lens, but it felt more like this. I'm sure you've done videos comparing autism to narcissism?
@samvaknin
@samvaknin 23 дня назад
Search the comorbidities playlist.
@tinap8227
@tinap8227 22 дня назад
My ex claimed autism too, he possibly is both, but it disabled my concerns. The yncanny valley is real though, I was consistently dismissing my gut feelings and over time my moods got more and more labile.
@zombiemolly9711
@zombiemolly9711 2 месяца назад
Would ADD turn off my or negatively affect my Uncanny Valley Alarm?
@samvaknin
@samvaknin 2 месяца назад
No.
@larryjeffryes6168
@larryjeffryes6168 Месяц назад
Can’t personas be deployed at scale? Narc personas that are embedded and supported by traditions while stable and by virtue signaling when in flux, syncretizing? Social installations called idols, whatever the source of narrative - can’t behavior coalesce around these idols as profiles of normalization? And also structure the world game, naive upward/cynical downward. Forgive upward/curse downward (Dominionism). This psychological social order might be very stable while being toxic. If we all run to join a power clubs and they’re all run this way, how do we get anywhere. Can a club not run this way compete? How to accomplish structural remedy when a cure would turn so much upside down?
@samvaknin
@samvaknin Месяц назад
Search the channel for collective narcissism.
@BismillahirRahmanirRaheemB
@BismillahirRahmanirRaheemB 9 месяцев назад
My dogs name is Zombie 😂😂😂
@SPWKarlsson
@SPWKarlsson 9 месяцев назад
[ NIHIL EX NIHILO - Aryan "BUDDHISM™, Most Famous Today for What it Never Ever Taught (Namely Soul Denying Nihilism) is a Modern Doctrinal Corruption of the Buddha Sasana, the Awakened Scythian Sage Buddha Shakyamuni Gautama's Spiritual Teaching of the Eightfold Noble (Noble/Aryan) Path to the Absolute, the Teaching of the Brahmayana ]
@yasmeennasir8286
@yasmeennasir8286 9 месяцев назад
I dont like to think about this time in my life...but this particular person not only disabled my alarms but removed my sim care from my phone thinking it would prevent me from contacting my family & friends
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