How Not to be Boring 

I am boring but never bored myself, thats what really matters to me

Sometimes a boring person is the one who talks about themselves all the time.

1. Here is a funny story: a friend of mine who teaches at a university used to complain saying that he was sick of seeing half of his students sleeping during his classes! Poor things were always bored to death. It may have something to do with the fact that he was teaching " Constitutional Law" , but still, indeed a good teacher should be someone who can make any subject interesting. So he finally decided to do something about it and arranged a meeting with a famous Austrian Professor, specialised in Pedagogy, to ask her for an advice. The first thing the woman said was: - Are you also bored when you teach? He said: - Oh yes, absolutely!!! It is a simple point but we all can learn something from this: A bored person is boring and an " interested" person is interesting! 2. Most of us have no connection to our inner selves. The best way to make that connection is to be CURIOUS about ourselves. Just to wonder why we do what we do and why we think what we think. It can be really fun to look at yourself this way: with compassion and curiosity. 3. The closer you get to yourself, the closer you get to others. And we only need two things for this: To find the right TOOLS to look inside. To find the right WORDS to describe what we see. TOOLS: - The best tool I know is Alain de Botton's philosophical meditation. They have a video about it on this channel. Don't miss it! You could then print the questions below the video and go through them at least once a week. They are extremely helpful. One tragic thing about almost all of us, is that we really don't know how to think. It is so difficult to think " clearly" about yourself. What we call "thinking" is often just " brooding". And we have all sorts of mechanisms to delude ourselves too. So it is great to have a clear question in front of you, to which you must find an answer without changing the subject! If we learn to " talk to ourselves" in these very interesting and productive ways, we can hopefully do the same with other people too! - Another great tool is Mindfulness Meditation. You could search for this on Itunes and start today: UCLA Hammer Meditation. ( I have watched a lesson on Mindfulness from Yale University on youtube. The teacher there recommended these guided meditation podcasts. They are extremely helpful! ) And the best books I have read on meditation are: Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill, by Matthieu Ricard Mindfulness: An Eight Week Plan For Finding Peace in a Frantic World , by Mark Williams. WORDS: - Wittgenstein says: " All I know is what I have words for". In order to have more words at hand to describe how we feel, we need to read a lot of good books, poems, watch good movies, listen to beautiful songs, and listen to the people around us very well. After all, our stories may be very different, but we all suffer more less because of the same things. 4. Three excellent podcasts on how to listen and communicate well are: Listening generously, Rachel Naomi Yemen with Krista Tippett On Being with Krista Tippet, Kwami Anthony Appiah BBC A Point of View, Alain de Botton on The Art of Conversation 5. A writer from Turkey, Ahmet Altan, says that the most interesting things people could say, are the things they don't dare to say and rather keep for themselves. What a pity really! But he also adds that children don't have that kind of fear. And that's why when you talk to a child you can always hear something interesting! 6. It is so true that those who travelled the most or met famous folks etc. , aren't necessarily the most interesting people. Once I had a coffee with a musician I knew, a few days after he came back from his South America tour. So I asked him how it all went. I thought it must have been a life changing experience! But all he could say was: - Oh, yeah, it was cool. Cool! It was so cool you know.... He had gone through an extraordinary experience but he didn't really " experience" anything! He was the exact opposite of the painter in this beautiful lesson, who knew how to make something so valuable out of an ordinary ( at first sight ) experience!! That's why this quote by Rilke is so important: " ...For believe me, the more one is, the richer is all that one experiences". So our goal should be to become wiser, more sensitive and more profound , so that everything we experience can also become more meaningful. And if we feel the need to share all these, we won't be boring. At least to some people!

How not to be boring 1) find someone who doesn’t think your boring. 2) enjoy life as the person you are

So just like art, our lives become less boring when we focus on our own inner details and know how to communicate it to the wider audience. Thanks.

My assigned FBI agent recommended this for me... he knows me too well

I never realized how much I just push my emotions down around others just because i feel like no one would care, or I would be recieved badly.

I'm not necessarily boring, I'm just pretty scared to really talk about myself or what I like. Not only because it feels a little narcissistic, but I'm scared of that the outcome of revealing myself might not even help a smidge and just leave me vulnerable.

"How Not to be Boring" Recommended for You ..... Thanks RU-vid

I sometimes get jealous to people who aren't afraid of showing their playful side because they are the kind of people that are always loved by many. They always entertain people with their company and it's a guarantee that there'll be no dull moments whenever you're with them. But maybe it's not too late to show the playfulness we got in ourselves because I'm sure, all of us had it but are just shy in showing it off.

This is why I had trouble making friends. They all think I'm boring and I don't talk much.

I cried. I don't know how to get in touch with my feelings anymore.

my hobby is to eat one slice of white bread with nothing on it and to describe vaguely about how i eat bread, while not letting the speak so they can continue to hear how eat bread. Sometimes if a person tries to leave, i will get in their way, so they can listen more about bread.

I can express myself yet I'm still boring. The point is that I have nothing to talk about. When you meet new people it is fine. You don't know each other so you can just talk about your life and experiences. But after some time there is nothing you could say to each other. I realized this recently. I have nothing to talk about with my friends. I don't know how to start a conversation or rather to say what topic should I begin with. This is my issue. This is why I think I'm boring. I'm at a bar and ask a girl for a drink. We can talk for hours and she seems to be interested. Then when we get to know each other after a couple of dates I just don't know how to continue what shall I do next. This is the reason I'm boring.

Conclusion: You become interesting by your ability to express and explain your feelings and emotions along with facts about any event.

I don't know why, but I fail to learn anything from these videos. I have been watching them, but I rarely get along.

How Not To Be Boring *Recommended For You* Wow RU-vid I'm offended

If "no one is boring" like you've generalized, then boring people would be rare and fascinating.

I got called boring so many times in high school I get trauma every time someone says it. It’s my most hated word. I am now afraid to talk about myself because people might say I’m boring. I had a phase of being a gossip because that seemed to really get people attention but the only reason I talked less in highschool was because I hated gossip. There’s really no telling with people

All my friends find me quirky, happy, optimistic, stubborn and always say that I ask the funniest and weirdest questions, but honestly if they all found out I’m actually boring I think I would have even less friends then I have now

I don’t know how to talk to people. That makes me boring

After scrolling through the comments I begin to wonder what the fuck is going through people's heads. Thanks for the amazingly well written script in every video. You beautifully portray the different aspects of life, and it's pure joy to watch.

I have trust issues and mistakingly force people away by being odd thinking in my head is this person really interested in me. End of story I over think and need love

This just gives me a proof of why I am an outcast because I feel that I am incapable of sharing who i am I have grown helpless.

This is my biggest social anxiety right here, I have work to do

Sweet! Now I know I'm not actually boring; I'm just too stupid to be interesting. Thanks!

this is really insightful and true. I feel the more I become honest with myself the more I am becoming a more fun person. It is weird, but the frankness expressed by our hearts are the most colorful aspects of our lives.

i'm mostly entertaining but it's so frustrating because i'm scared of boring the other person i'm with so i keep on entertaining until i run out of energy. but no one entertains me. i end up feeling lonely and friendless. there needs to be a balance.

"How not to be boring" It's actually very simple if you follow these steps: 1) Before going to a social event develop the habit of visualizing the entire social event/ meeting/ date in your head going well. Run a small movie about the event in your head, see yourself laughing, others laughing, hear what you hear, and notice how you feel. Imagine everything going extremely well and that people around you are having fun and taking special interest in you and in what you're saying. 2) Be a good listener. If you mastered this one skill people will see you as a very interesting person and someone fun to be with. All you need to do is pay attention to what people are saying and stop thinking about how you are being perceived. By making the story in your head about them, not you, you are going to notice how your level of anxiety has dropped down greatly or even disappeared. This is simple, you are no longer trying to impress them with stories about yourself or your personal interests. You are simply letting them tell you what's interesting for them and as long as people are talking about themselves they'll never get bored. 3) If you find it difficult to show genuine interest in other people's stories or personal interests you don't share with them then there's a tiny yet effective trick to use here which would shift your thinking about people's stories. BELIEVE that in every story you hear there is an important lesson to help you with your life or information about the other person's inner world. This will help you take special interests in other people's stories because there now something in it for you. I am not talking about faking it. Trust me, when you change your mindset you'll discover how every every story has valuable lessons for you to learn no matter how seemingly boring it sounded. Also, every story gives you a peak into someone else's inner world. Things they probably won't say directly to you or they yet haven't learned about themselves. 4) Wait for the question. Since you've given others the opportunity to talk about themselves and you were actively listening to them they now LIKE you. Without them telling you this but everyone loves a good listener. Now they'll start asking you questions about yourself. This is one of the signs you suddenly became an interesting person to them and so they wanna learn more about you. Use the questions they asked as a chance to present yourself to them in a way that's interesting to them. How? Do not just keep talking nonstop until their interest in you drops. In the beginning give simple answers and wait for the next question. If they are still asking you about the same subject then chances are they wanna learn more because they find it interesting. If they asked you a different question then again answer moderately. Give information but do not bombard them with it. They stayed on topic and kept digging deeper? Good, keep that subject and give more information now that you know they are interested. 5) Memorize some of the words they used in their stories and self-expression and occasionally repeat those words to them while commenting on their stories, sharing your own stories, or while asking them questions. For example, Ella said: "My last trip to africa was so much fun, we actually had a blast. The number of activities one can do there is insane. It was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life." For example: You go: "Wow that does sound INSANE, I didn't know a trip to Africa could be so REWARDING and fun." Trust me, Ella will think you are one of the most interesting people she has ever met. Just don't make it sound like you are doing it on purpose or with each sentence she makes because she might think you are just mocking her or lack individuality and creativity. You can also do it while sharing stuff about yourself later on after the conversation had drifted into another direction. Example: "Right after my daily workout I feel so REWARDED. It's INSANE how simple adjustments can influence our moods" 6) The art of questioning: This is a general note and a very useful skill to be applied at any point whether in your social life, with your partner, with your customers/clients at work, or even with your kids. Always avoid asking close-ended questions such as 'Did you enjoy your trip?' 'Do you like your job?' 'Since you told me you are studying psychology. Do you like it so far?' 'Do you believe in love?' 'Is this game addictive to you?' Close-ended questions are those that usually can be answered with a simple 'yes' or 'no' or any variation of that to confirm or negate something (I am, very much, pretty sure, I don't think so, not sure, probably, I would say so,.... and so on) It is understandable that close-ended questions are needed and important but not when you want to get people to talk. Those of you who work in sales, business development, or marketing know exactly what I'm talking about. You don't want your customers to give you a yes or no answers but rather you want valuable information, opinions, suggestions, feedback,... you want to learn more about their needs, expectations, and challenges. This is where open-ended questions come into play. Here are the same questions I posted above only asked differently this time: Trip: 'Tell me about your last trip to the Middle East, I'm interested to hear your stories' Job: 'How does a typical day at work look like for you?' Study: 'What made you choose psychology?' Love: 'How can you tell when you or someone else is in love?' OR 'If love had a recipe what do you think the main ingredients would be and why?' Game: 'What would you change about this game or features you add to make it addictive?' These are just examples but you can clearly see how one is compelled to talk when asked open-ended questions. If you are a parent, always ask your kids this type of questions. It will intrigue their thinking and help them become better communicators and ultimately affect their social life. 'Tell me about your day at school,' 'What do you like the most about your friend Eric?' 'Teach me something new you have learned today,' 'How did that make you feel?' Such questions will improve your child's social intelligence and their ability to form healthy relationships.

R.I.P Introverts T___T

Truly eye opener. I was that kind of person who thought I was boring, after watching this video I remembered one friend who could relate to how I think and vice-versa, it was this time when both of us wanted to drop out of college, we could say our hearts were elsewhere, I love Martial arts and there's this promotion called ONE championship that prides itself in having fighters who light hope in a world where that flame has vanished, and it encourages people to chase what they really want. I always get emotional when I read the CEO's story on why he created ONE, he had a lot of money and you could consider him successful, but he wasn't really happy with his life and more specifically, he wasn't into what he was doing, so he went ahead and tried to create ONE and gather individuals who inspired strong values like love, respect, diligence, etc. So people can look up to them not only as fighters but role models in life. I feel like I belong there, I just feel like I'm meant to be amongst that kind of people. My friend wants to work on the artistic side of videogames, she loves Nintendo and more specifically, Zelda, she loves to draw characters, listen to ost and she even has an Ocarina and she is learning how to play, she showed me her sketchbook and she is no joke at drawing. The thing is, her parents and mine held us back from dropping out of college, it was a bummer because you know, having to spend years on something you're not into doesn't sound fun at all. Well, we got really close to each other, and I wondered why, now I know we knew how to open up about our feelings about what we wanted to do in the future, and how something held us back. We were in a similar situation so it was natural. In different situations I hold myself back because I think to myself "this person might not be interested in what I have to say" and I just say a half-assed thing. And so a journey begins in which I have to be into what I say and really show it, I might even attract genuine people too!

Some people are scarily good at faking that they're interested in what you're telling them. So I have trust issues. And I really only speak when I feel like it's really worth sharing. The problem is not knowing what someone else thinks is interesting to hear about. It might be interesting to you but not to someone else. And that makes it hard to find a topic to start a conversation with.I have so many interest on a deep level but I barely share my thoughts out of fear of judgement.

You talk about yourself too much, you're a narcissist. You talk about others too much, you're a gossip. You talk about problems, you're a pessimist. You talk about topics like religion, politics, philosophy or social issues, you're too intense. I just find it annoying that you have to use small talk about random shit like entertainment or daily life as conversational lube to get to the good stuff.

This really is one of my worst fears as someone with social anxiety. Thankyou for framing it in a different way - I've never thought of myself as inherently interesting, because I struggle to express myself honestly around most people. Sometimes I meet people who I am naturally more comfortable opening up around, however I definitely need to do more work in finding out who I am and showing that to those around me.

the back end understanding of the concept portrayed in the video outstanding - much thanks and grats to those involved in making this insightful video

2.5M boring person. Thanks god im not alone

I only have two modes 1. BORING 2. Annoying

I think the key to not being boring is to talk about things you are truly interested in. Some time ago (say until a few months back) I thought there's something wrong with talking about computer science, programming, compilers, ... And I was trying to talk to some people about other things, which didn't particularly interest me, like e.g. trips or books. And I felt like people are a bit bored talking with me. But then I thought "fuck this, I'm gonna tell them about neural networks and stuff". And I did. And I feel like they have seen that it is interesting to me, which suggests them it is interesting in general, hence also to them. I am satisfied, because I talk about things I like and my friends are genuinely interested in what I'm talking about. So yes, don't worry to talk with this girl you like about things you like, be it games, programming or cooking. It is important to UNDERSTAND that you should talk about things interesting to you and talk about them with confidence. Of course, the beginning may be weird or uncomfortable or difficult. But when you finally come to the conclusion I have come to, it is going to be a natural way to talk for you :)

If you are an introvert you don't have to fell bad about yourself, just do what you like. People will say that you are boring cuz you are not like what they want you to be, don't destroy your character for the sake of those people

well.. im really boring to those who don't think the same as me

Funny thing is that introverts are the most intresting people when you get to know them as opposed to outroverts who give every single detail about themselves to the world Something's are better left unsaid leave a little mystery ladies and germs

I am incredibly boring and I know it

Of all the school of life videos I've seen, this one is always the most reassuring for me.

I'd rather share a comfortable silence with someone than continue listening to them blabber on about themselves.

Ahhhh your voice could melt butter

This showed me a new way of looking at conversations. An honest exchange of what life feels like to each other.

I can't talk about my life to others because I don't do anything in that time that warrants excitement or emotion of any variety. The only exciting things that ever happened to me were throughout my childhood school years, and all of it was negative. I hated everyone, I was dangerously close to becoming a "school shooter" before it was something that even showed up on the news. I tried to be honest and it just blew up in my face because I didn't know how to talk to fellow kids and the adults (At the time). I was constantly thrown into those mental child classrooms which only made the bullying worse. I still don't really know how to open up to people at the age of 25. I'm boring because I cannot open up about my experiences without scaring anybody off. Mentioning that my behavior mirrored a school shooter's in public would just get me a free trip to the psyche wards, or ostracize me further. Therefore I have the choice of being boring or outwardly crazy, both are counter-intuitive. I can't even fake it because I don't know what I'm supposed to mimic, I don't even know how someone could wear that mask for a long time. I thought I would have learned something from this but this only made me feel worse about what I am. The only strong emotions I feel nowadays are anger, hate, sadness, all these negative emotions are not something I can share. People are only able to rebuke positive emotions in our society. That's why your examples don't work, because negative emotions make everything awkward (such as the ones the main character was sharing). It's just common sense at this point.

"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." Eleanor Roosevelt

I swear this channel was made for me. Thanks for the much needed social skill tips.

Good video actually

This channel HIGHLY overestimates how deep the conversations we have are!

For some reason, this video felt like a nice warm hug. Thank you!

Don't share too much to not be boring, you'll end up being annoying.

This explains a lot, talk about transitioning from a social light to a dissociate. For someone like myself who would rather stay at home and play video games than go to a house party and exchange points of view as well as interacting with people.

“I wasn’t born into this world to entertain you so why should I care what you think about me”

Why is this recommended for me? Does RU-vid really knows me that well?

Didn't understand any of that but the drawings were good.

Feelings beneath the facts + explain them Direction + honesty + focus

The timelaps of the paintings and portraits are so wonderful And its so malancholic, the definition of a boring person, someone who does not have the courage and confidence to tell others what its like to be them..

some extroverted people say they prefer small talk, no good talking about our true feelings or ambitions if many in society want to go along with the flow of the party.seems some are more occupied with the experience of being around other people then actually understanding them.

anybody else get this as a recommendation?... yeah, I'm feeling lame now

I'm not shy I just donno how to talk to others and what to talk about .. that's why people consider me boring

Thanks for this. People often complain about my conversations, but this has given me some tips to teach them to be more interesting.

If you do this you're no longer boring. You're now weird.

"No one is boring." I beg to differ.

I love your videos. I always find myself in thought of who I am and how to deal with my emotions. Thank you 🙏🏼

Simple yet rings true. Honesty about your experience and expressing this nearly always looks beautiful. Largely because we can relate. Out. Standing.Video.

Audience is also important. While many people would probably find "statistical analysis of bronze age potato farming on population growth" a quite boring topic, there will be plenty of anthropologists, historians who could talk about it endlessly with you. Thanks to the marvel of the internet, you can always find people who will see you as the most interesting person in the world. Sure, it might be a niche group. But as anyone lucky enough to find their niche can tell you, there's nothing quite like being in the presence of people who can't wait to hear what you have to say.

People get stuck in uninteresting small talk because most non-boring conversations are about things like politics, religion, sports, and similar topics where people can have differing opinions. Unfortunately in our society, maintaining polite conversation is emphasized and discussing controversial topics with anyone but your closest friends is discouraged.

This video gives me so much hope. You can't even imagine!

Beautifully said! I will show this to my Visual Arts students who are just about to begin their figure drawing which will display personal body language.

Feels like half of your videos begin with "one of our great fears.."

i wish it was 'how not to be bored' too bad

Damn. That was way deeper than I expected. Thank you.

Currently watching this with guests in the house who are all talking about my sister And only my wonderful sister

Be yourself. You know what I am talking about. You're weird and you know it. Most of us just hide it. Don't. Hope this helps! The Temp

To my experience and from what I read, nobody cares about what the other guy feels. They only care about talking about what they feel. People take turns suffering for each other. Unless they actually care for that person.

Well spoken, thought provoking, and dead on. Never regurgitate or imitate another’s point of view, because you’re never going to be inferentially blind. Example: I relate with a streamer I watch very frequently or as frequent as they stream, yet our conversation is never boring b/c we are not the exact same. Sometimes we argue or disagree. But with maturity, the differences only intrigue more discussion.

Such eloquently described video. Each word. So much clarity. Thank you, I listened to it intently.

In short: Be yourself and be proud of who you are, skip the small talk and talk from your heart and not your head (without being irrational).

When you're an artist, nothing is boring, because you see the aesthetic potential in everything.

Excellent vid, as usual. Encouraging. Thanks.

Nice video, the animations helped me to understand the subject better thank you so much

Really hard not to say, but the 6 minutes long video about the subject how not to be boring... was kinda boring haha. Still, very informative and the summarized lesson we learned: Becoming less boring when we focus on our inner details and learn to spread this to the audience, was very helpfull. Thanks!

This makes my heart warm and I feel relieved. I'm going to try ask people about how they feel and I'm going to tell them about how I feel.

Wow. I reallly needed this. Thx.

Feel like RU-vid knows me better than most of my friends

I got diagnosed with ADHD about 2 years ago, and I've struggled greatly making friends ever since. I was a very weird and loud guy before, but now I'm very self-conscious about coming off as annoying, talking too much, or people not caring about what I'm saying, so most of the time, to avoid this, I'll keep my mouth shut and concentrate too much on not annoying new people. My girlfriend is the only real friend I have right now, and if she and I break up, I'll very likely be all alone.

"Reccomended videos for you"

This must be the nicest youtube channel. No one's boring or evil. You're just confused or sad

This really help me, thanks for your incredible works.

is it bad if i thought this video was boring

My dad said boring is as boring does! Or was that Forrest Gump? The concept of moral equivalence may ( or not) suggest that all of us are interesting in some way. My narcissistic friend ( one sided) says he's more interesting than most people he meets.

Your videos throw the great vibes around!!!

I thought I was boring at first...then after watching this video and being unable to make it 1/2 way through,I realized what *boring* really is

This is an incredibly deep video!

That montage from 1:18-1:35 was simply beautiful and so well-done!

And im always nervous when Im with a person...

Found this video useful!! Thank you for the advice!!

Who here has successfully wasted the entire month of January?