It’s a shame I have to mention this but this video is responding to the comments you see on the screen, not talking to you directly, so if it seems condescending that’s because I feel I am defending Thai people from ignorant comments. The message is that we are accountable for our experience and there is nothing uniquely Thai when it comes to being treated as an ATM. I will also add, Thai people have helped me in this country again and again, had a broken motorbike? they took me to the garage without any payment. They helped with our build and asked for nothing. I have lost wallets that have been returned and I have never been directly asked for money here. Thai people are awesome. Don’t forget to share your stories, advice, agreements and outrage.. 🍄 MUSHROOMS: Get Discounted Fruiting Body Mushroom Supplements Here On Shopee: shopee.co.th/fruitingbodymushrooms Use code: FRUI10LIR For A 10% Discount Or here On Lazada: tiny.cc/fruitingbodynew 🐝 HONEY, CEREMONIAL CACAO & SUPERFOOD POWDERS: www.lazada.co.th/shop/shamans-shed/ 🌐 Get SURFSHARK VPN at surfshark.deals/NAKEDGURU Enter promo code NAKED GURU for an exclusive Surfshark discount and 4 extra months for free!
Dear Ryan, I completely agree with your perspective on the stigma of being perceived as a "walking ATM." Having lived in Thailand for over two decades and worked as an international airline pilot, I am acutely aware of the reasons behind this characterization. However, it ultimately comes down to personal discretion. No one is forcing individuals to display their wealth. From my own experiences, I have noticed that many expatriates and tourists tend to exhibit their affluence openly, only to be surprised when they are labeled as ATMs. Financial matters have always been viewed as a shared family responsibility throughout my twenty-year marriage to my Thai spouse. I have been fortunate enough not to bear the sole responsibility of supporting my spouse's family. Instead, it has been a collective effort among siblings to ensure the well-being of our parents. Any challenges that may arise are addressed collectively, underscoring the importance of family unity. I firmly believe that this collaborative approach strengthens familial ties and cultivates a sense of mutual obligation. Regarding the young women from Issan working in bars, I agree with your assessment that many foreigners claim they are coerced into the sex industry by their families. As you rightly pointed out, a significant number, in my opinion, most, deceive their families. Many foreigners who visit Thailand for leisure are often unfamiliar with the nuances of Thai culture. Understanding and respecting their culture requires dedication and patience. Your channel brings me great joy as I work diligently in Saudi Arabia, eagerly counting down the days until I can return home to Bangkok. With 19 months left until my retirement, I am constructing my home in Khao Kho. I highly recommend you visit Khao Kho, a stunning destination. Best wishes to you and your family. Kevin
I’m a 66 year old married to a 57 year old Thai lady and we live in Thailand. She came into the marriage with a fully paid condo in Bangkok and 12 rai rice farm in khon kien she owns outright,she also had no debt. I have a very good pension that allows us to live on the beach in prachuap khiri khan. She’s the hardest working woman I’ve ever met with an even temperament and quick with a smile. I couldn’t be happier. Her family has never asked us for anything but occasionally I’ll offer small help if I see the need. I moved here with a suitcase,she already had everything else. I’m the lucky one. 😎
@@RONIN1111 It's not that rare over here. My wife is Vietnamese. We live in Vietnam and her salary is equal to my salary. The problem is that we usually only hear about the bad stories. There are lots of successful locals over here with boatloads of money. You'd be surprised.
What a wonderful "session" with you today! I really appreciate your wisdom and shared experience. Also, I should mention I enjoy just listening to your voice....relaxing, unique and very pleasant. Now here's a wee story from me: Almost 20 years ago my Taiwanese partner and I made a trip to Thailand from Australia. One day we had lunch in a restaurant in Siam Square. As the food arrived, we set our camera on an empty seat beside us. After enjoying our lunch, we left the restaurant and made our way past the shops, across an overpass and down to the other side of the busy main street where we were going to take a bus to our next stop for the day. All of a sudden, the waiter from the restaurant appeared in front of us, all out of breath, and handed us our camera. He had come all that way to find us and give it back....wouldn't take a thing for it, and said bye with a wai. To this day that incident brings tears to my eyes.
I read a story about an old farang that spoke to being the family ATM. He agreed that it could be frustrating at times in considering his own self worth with his Missus and her family. This fellow had a bad motorcycle accident and was not his fault but ended up in the hospital with a coma. This fellow stated that he was not insured for whatever reason. When he came out of his coma and was released from the hospital the bill had been paid in full. He asked his wife how she managed to pay the expensive hospital bill and she simply said that the family had sold all of their gold and we're just glad to have him back. He realized that his personal value to his wife was worth all the gold in their world...and not a word on that was ever mentioned. Thai culture is rooted in goodness and acceptance in ways that are not easily identified. He was very grateful for his Thai wife as am I...she is worth every penny but rarely asks me for anything. I don't give out of obligation but out of generosity because paying my good fortune forward makes me feel good. I have the power of my purse, that will never change but I give when I choose to and in turn have changed quite a few lives for the better. Make your choice. Good luck. 🙏
If you met her on a dating app, in a beer bar or a gogo, she is on the game and its pretty certain that it will end in tears. learn the language, 2 hours a day minimum until you are fluent. its amazing how much you will learn about people by just overhearing them in conversation.
@@RandomDude-l5f - funnily enough, some good marriages are made between expats and bar girls. I guess common sense would dictate that relationships with bar girls will usually end in disaster, and we have all heard or read of countless horror stories but sometimes they do work. I even know of two blokes who worked in a different country in S.E. Asia, both graduates with responsible jobs as managers in major companies, who ended up marrying girls who worked in the 'night time entertainment industry.' Their marriages seemed to work. Nevertheless, I like your point about learning the language.
Thank you so much for having the courage to speak the truth as my Thai wife now 8 years she still works hard as pharmacist but every time we visit my home country people still label her as gold digger .My wife has never asked for anything in fact she told me to never speak to her about my finances because she didn’t want me to blame her if there was any gossip.But the other hand I but a down payment on a motorcycle for stepson because he starts University this month and needed it he works part time and will make monthly payments. My stepdaughter desperately needed braces poor girl was ashamed to smile . I pay 1600baht per month to see her smile and it’s worth every baht . The difference is that I choose to help her and the children have a better life and it fills my ❤ with joy
That's appalling, but thanks for sharing. There are plenty of gold digging hoes in the West as well. Bill Burr has one of the funniest comedy rants on RU-vid when he talks about an epidemic of gold digging whores. It's worth watching.
Those girls that treat you like an ATM exist in Western countries as well. in every country this happens when you frequent those types of establishments and hang out in bars and tourist area. Well said Guru!
"You're a walking ATM if you choose to be". Correct. Good info. I'm a rare bird - a solo female farang who worked & lived in Thailand (Jomtien) for 3 years, owned a condo & visited regularly until late 2019. You're a guest in Thailand so you make sure you very quickly learn about how to conduct yourself & recognise that West & East have different mindsets. Learn some language, show respect & engage with local life in a positive way. Similarly to Ryan, I've had help from Thai people - returning a mislaid mobile phone, purse being returned - & not asked for anything back.
Correct. If you allow it, it will happen. Just say no. If she leaves, then you know the truth. Just say no. People are animals, like a cat, if you put out milk, it will stay. This vlogger is spot on...take the advice.
I’m currently getting a fence made (welded from steel), car port, shed, concrete drive way. Paying 300 baht a day for labour, we buy the materials. Been married for 10 years here. Worked here for 15 years. Retired now to near Laos border.
Pretty much spot on Ryan. Walking ATM will be a walking ATM any country. I have always been careful with my money, but not tight. I my case I met a 28 year old Thai lady who seemed to be bright cheerful but down on her luck form previous bad 6 year relationship with a Farang. I was then 46 and ready for a lasting relationship. From the start I could see a future, I made it very clear there would be no 'salary' but we would live from the same pocket as in I would pay our living expenses. I bought a house in my name with a 30 year land lease. I checked out her family story by visiting her village in the fist 30 days, met all the family. Nice people with regular jobs. We been married 28 years, bought land, built houses for rent, made a company, got a work permit without paying expenses lawyers. My wife studied herself how to do all that stuff, even went to account school. We made a pile of money. Semi retired now. Sold the company property and land. Still have two business land property for rent. Very good result for us. Other than i could not produce children and my wife never had a kid from her last relationship. Sad.
There's a lot of urban myths surrounding living in Thailand. We've lived in this area 20yrs and after 20yrs i'm still the only farang in the village. Like you no one has ever asked me for money and whenever we go to visit family or friends they will never let us pay for anything, they are proud people.
Yes, I was a walking ATM to my Thai wife. It lasted about 6 years and I got tired of always being broke. It was very bad when I put a stop to it and I ended up walking away from her. The marriage was never registered, so there was no divorce involved and I just walked away free. I will never go through that again.
I've know several guys who have fallen in love with their "holiday girlfriend". I don't know of anyone who has walked out of that situation without getting their hearts broken and wallets emptied. Stupid is as stupid does.
I cannot agree with you. I do concur that a lot of people have been duped by Thais who are with you for what you bring to the table but to think that is the be all and end all for all Thais then you are wrong. I have married a Thai from the north, she works hard and long hours in a Thai restaurant and I fell on hard times and she paid for everything for us. When I got back on my feet I tried to pay her back but she wouldn’t have any of it, she would just say you are family and Thais take care of family which in their culture is important. I guess it does depend a lot on who you meet and in my case I am lucky and have married into a family who accept you for who you are and not what you have.
3 weeks ago I had the best time I've ever experienced with Thai locals in ban pong. I was the only Farang. My friend could only speak broken english and the entire night was made up of gestures and smiling eating and drinking..
Great Vlog... What I find amazing is that anyone would think that Thailand is any different to any other country in the world 🌎 Women are women, and men are men!!!! The same problems, challenges, and the same opportunities excise everywhere. The point is to attempt to find the right partner, based on trust, understanding and compromise and live out a happy life. If you choose poorly, as I have done in the west, you will be 🔥 no matter where you are!!!
All countries are different, , morals , upbringing, culture.. they all contribute. Yes we all have the same problems, but we deal with them different. X
Enjoy your videos fella. You've not only got a hell of a lot of knowledge, life skills and good advice but it's wrapped up in a wider circle of wisdom. Keep doing the great work.Booked for Koh Samui and Bangkok for the first time. Feb. Looking forward to it. 👊👊👊
I live in a rural village in the Buriram area....Ryan is spot on for sure on this one.....Its good to have boundaries socially, mentally, economically anywhere you live.....Thailand non- tourist areas are for pioneers!!! not mongers and old men with small pockets....
@@Rodderz1 No way. Up to you as everyone in Thailand says.....Im just saying if you dont have deep pockets, and you are perhaps old, and dont have vision for yourself the walls will close in on you and nobody wants that feeling when they are basically an alien living on another planet. Im just speaking fro issan village life. Not pattaya, not phuket, not where everything is basically western and sooooo easy....
Thank you for this spot on video, Sir. People forget that most Thai ladies do work, have normal jobs, and do not come from bars or being a freelancer at the tourist areas. I have 14 years of marriage behind me with a Norwegian man, and I still worked most of the time (working as a visa agent when we first met), and contributed to our marriage as much as I could. I never asked for a penny, that was not important for me at all. I can take good care of myself. I think most Thai ladies looking for a farang, see an opportunity to see more of the world, learn more about other countries` culture, and look for an opportunity to travel. Also, I can confirm that many Thai ladies see Thai husbands as not reliable, the often do not take care of the familiy and kids like foreigners do (and that has nothing to do about money). Thai men are often out drinking with friends, leaving their wives home to take care of the kids. So if anyone wonder what Thai ladies see in a 20+ year older farang husband, well, there is your answer. Love is also a funny thing, love is not only about those first feelings you get in a relationship, but also about security, sharing our lives, being there for each other, and taking good care of each other. Those first feelings never last anyway, but true love does. I have never loved anyone more than I did with my 21 years older husband. And yes, we found common ground, and had a lot in common. Unfortunately he passed away in 2020, but he was my life, and more.
@@thenakedguru My pleasure. I really enjoy your channel, because you speak the truth from your heart, at least the way you see it. And you are always on point, as I see it. Keep up the good work, Sir 😊
@@28pbtkh23 Thank you for your kind words 🙏 To be honest, I haven't even dated anyone since. But none of us knows the future, we all deserve happiness 😊
Happily married to a lovely Thai lady who works as an executive in the pharma industry, I work in the aquaculture industry as a consultant and a teacher at a private school. I have never given money, instead we talk about where we should invest our money together in many area's outside of Thailand and starting a local business here. The Thai people are lovely and so is her family who also have never asked for money. If you behave like a walking ATM or just stupid, you will be rinsed. Thai women are not stupid and they know the world is changing. The cheeky ones will rinse you if you allow this to happen or continue.
It’s very true. It is so easy to hand over and give money. And it’s so to fall into the trap of look at me I have lots of money. And you become vulnerable. And it doesn’t matter what country you’re in. Many things well said Ryan 👍🙏🙏
"No good deed goes unpunished." That's an old saying & a timeless truth. All my life I've found that when you help people with "charity," it inspires contempt & loathing. It's counterintuitive & does'nt make sense, but it seems to be human nature. Only give money if someone feels they are earning it
I've had a career in the technical services industry. Every time I've done a friend (or friend of family/friends) "a favour", it's always come back to haunt me and ended in tears. I've often worked long and hard for free and later discovered my efforts were unappreciated and the recipient had "bad-mouthed" me, behind my back (claiming poor workmanship and the like). Conversely, whenever I've properly charged for my time and skills, it's been appreciated by folk and resulted in their praises and repeat (as well as their referred) business. Funny old world.
Foreigners only have a short mindset or what 😉😉😉there are high educated Thai woman that have foreigner husband ,because most Thai men are lazy. And are more wealthy then the foreigner. 😉😉😉.
I had two close friends put through the ringer by Thai women. One was a colleague and one was a family friend. They both got totally ripped off, lost half their pensions, lost half of their businesses and houses. Catastrophic for them...but it was their own fault. They used the women as sex slaves and house keepers when married and then the tables turned. I'm a woman, so I don't have this problem, but really guys, use your heads and keep your hands firmly on your businesses, wallets and property
Great video. Very funny in places. A few nights ago I was walking down Loi Kroh road in Chiang mai and there was this guy, about early forties, rapping along to some song, thinking he was the bees and clearly thinking that the other three women around him thought he was a cool rapper dude. Even I could tell they were not thinking that. They were thinking ATM.
30 baht tip for Flash/Kerry? When my leg was broken I was ordering in food all every day. I set the app to automatically tip 5 baht. It's only 5 baht but 3 times a day. I left the setting until my leg healed and I stopped getting delivery. Now I only order in when it's raining, so I feel the tip is well earned.
In regard to the Walking ATM topic, I had a fear of this becoming a reality in my current relationship but learned early that it wouldn't be that way. My wives family are Issan and we organized a trip to Chiang Mai during Christmas time. I had some financial issues arise and I was embarrassed that I couldn't take care of my wife and her family not only during a good portion of the trip, but also back when we went to her families afterwards. I felt ashamed, but they told me they thought nothing of it which was a great relief. To me, it seemed like the family valued just trying your best and not being afraid to ask for help even when we might ego it because of the USD or whatever home currency we have can be so strong in Thailand. This went all over the place, but if you are worried about being a walking ATM I would stick to local places. TLDR; It's nice to have money, but family and having a good heart are more important. My Thai family of farmers are a lot happier compared to my US farmer family and the Thais have significantly less.
Your final paragraph about your Thai family of farmers being happier compared to your US counterparts reminds me of the vast welfare states in both America and my own country, Britain. There are people on welfare in Britain who get everything for free, and are living on as much as £40,000 a year. Yet they remain the most ungrateful and miserable buggers in the world.
My late Thai wife (48 years) was from khan Kaen . We lived mostly in the USA. I would love to return and live out my life there. I am quite wealthy by Thai standards but i do fear being taken advantage of. I love the idea of really impacting my family positively not the village. Appreciate the advice. Keep quiet about money.
Hello Ryan….. For what is would serve I’d offer that this on-going conversation is well worth exploring for all of us especially those who are looking realistically at the experience in SE Asia and Thailand in particular.
Dude you are Legit. You are very conscious and aware of what’s going on. Wish more people were more informed and understanding like you.. 😊 Issan is a great place to be.
@@thenakedguru I wish I had this knowledge 12 years ago when I was living out there. Look forward to returning to Thailand again. Ubon was a great place to live in the past.. you are providing great knowledge. A lot of these farang just have no idea what’s going on… 😮 I have learned a lot over the years, and continue to learn. Cheers to you. doing it proper M8..
Good evening from Pattaya. Outside the centre. I'll give you all some facts. I'm waiting for a court verdict today which I am defending my dead father from being ripped off by his Thai x wife. I live in Thailand and have done for 15 years with my English wife. We love it but be aware of the bad side. Do NOT marry any bar girl. And it's not just bar girls. I'd stay away from Pattaya if you are looking for any relationship. Myself I'd forget it. Like the host says what you may think is your girlfriends brother could turn out to be her boyfriend and you are just a cash machine. Maria and Col
I can't speak for anyone, much like you say, just my personal experience. Few ideas align, don't be the ATM, it is possible. 1st don't put yourself in a situation, learn to say "no", the bad people will talk bad about you either way. As far as a partner, find one that works and support oneself. If she(or he) has a career, even better. Be humble, showing off attracts the wrong attention/people. Keep your nest safe, don't give the keys of the kingdom to anyone. Make sure you are more valuable alive than dead, I'm pragmatic to this level. I had the opportunity to live in few places. I can spend days telling stories about success and failures from every single one. They vary a little depending on the culture or the local economy, but the fundamental factor is always the same. Human beings are the source. Just one practice I do that might help you. I don't tip the delivery people, I give them an annual gift (money) and keep a cordial relationship with them. When you tip often, it becomes an obligation. Cheers!
Like Las Vegas, the rule when visiting Pattaya on holiday is to not spend more than you can afford! I agree, many men do have bizarre perspectives about human sexuality and prostitution here. Because of the negative connotation of the "P" word, too many guys seem to forget basic humanity and respect for Thai females Keep tipping local workers and you are on your way to being the Village Chief in 20 years Ryan! Everyone is different and every foreigner spends differently I have no profound reason about this, just seems to be the way it is. Thank you for being an excellent example of an expat married with 2 boys in rural Thailand and producing these RU-vid vlogs. Peace and Love Y'all PS . No one has asked you for money! Good, I will be the first. The interview I did I want my cut from the 4k views you got! 555 I admit I got a 25% discount on the last pair of pants I got, so lets call it even good buddy. Haha
Me and my wife enjoy your videos and I see both sides so I'm not being one sided. I see so many getting ripped off. I do tip thais here but keep it to a minimum. More of a token not to be tight as these thais work long hours for little pay. Maria and Col
I know I tip too much, generally, when in SE Asia, but I seldom see recipients express "entitlement" and expectations of continued generosity. Rather, the typical response is sincere gratitude (something often unseen when in the USA or Europe). Regarding the "Walking ATM" issue, it's human nature almost everywhere to exploit generosity and I did this myself when younger. Just be aware of it and realize those are unhealthy dynamics.
Always get to know your girl before marrying her. Minimum 2 years living together in my view. Also, if you ever plan on living upcountry, you better get to know the village where you will be living as well. In our moo baan, I have only been asked to "loan" money out once and this same woman asks to borrow money from everyone else in the village anyway so I'm no special exception. Otherwise nobody has ever asked to borrow money from me. Under no circumstance ever allow yourself to be the village ATM. If someone needs money, offer to give them a small job in exchange for some small money.
It's very true that you are only a walking ATM is you make yourself one. If you need to flash the cash to make up for whatever you are lacking to get what you want, you still lack the something that you have to make up for with cash.
I think you’re absolutely spot on Ryan.! In any relationship, anywhere in the world, if you either offer or submit to paying for everything….then this is the basis that relationship is formed on and will likely be a problem if the money runs out 😬 I have also actually experienced the vast majority of Thai people to be extremely giving and generous towards, wishing to help rather than to take from me… …I would say the average Thai person is less concerned with money than the average British person in my experience.! You’re right to ask people to look at their own country before judging Thailand and Thai people 🙏🏻☺️
you nailed it guru if you are daft enough to act like a walking ATM then they will treat you as that forever theres plenty of nice ladys in Thailand just don't go to the tourist places and i think people don't spend enough time there before jumping into a wedding ring
Dear Ryan, I hope this email finds you well. I wholeheartedly agree with your viewpoint regarding choosing to be a "walking ATM." As someone who has lived in Thailand for over twenty years while working as an Airline pilot abroad, I completely understand the importance of family ties. Throughout my 20-year marriage to my spouse, financial matters have always been a family affair. Fortunately, I have never been asked to provide for my wife's family independently. Instead, it becomes a joint effort among siblings to ensure our parents' needs are met. Any issues that arise are tackled collectively, emphasizing the significance of familial unity. This approach not only fosters stronger bonds among relatives but also promotes a sense of shared responsibility. Wishing you a wonderful day ahead! Best regards, Kevin
Hey Kevin - thanks for your note and sounds like you found a great one like many of my other subscribers- glad my reflections align with yours as a long timer 🙏🙏
Speaking truths. Have yourself together, mentally, physically and financially before you move to Thailand. My mother told me never lead with your hand (wallet), they will fall in love with your money and not you.
Sometimes I used to sometimes buy the girls in the bar shoes or a dress when the mobile shop came around it was not expensive and I was only trying to help them but I was surprised when the boss of the bar a lady told me that the some girls thought I was an idiot because I gave money away. I thought I was being kind. Since that day 15 years ago I have never bought any dresses or any shoes for the bar girls. Now who were the idiots?..another great Vlog Ryan keep telling it like it is....love to you and your family❤
You only get taken advantage of if you are stupid enough to allow it. You must first assume that everyone around you is evil and out to get you. Then let people slowly earn your trust. And that works in any country.
Look at Marketplace for that area. Just restrict how many km radius. Plenty of adds for land, farms and houses. Some are private adds some are from agents. Ask the agent. Use google translate communicating if you do not speak or write Thai. It’s better you ask the questions than your thai friend because they never ask what they see as confrontational questions
None of this sounds very appealing to me AT ALL! Moving to a foreign country where you will never be granted citizenship, never be able to own a house, never be able to own any land, never truly know who your friends are, being used by a bunch of people who only want to take your money so they can give it to their family and the list just goes on and on and on... Seriously, this is where the United States just plain gets it wrong because a Thai person can come to America, legally gain US citizenship, buy and legally own homes and land, and they can do that both in the US and in their native country Thailand. However, a US citizen cannot do anything even remotely similar in Thailand, or the Philippines, or about 99% of foreign countries! Again I have to wonder why anyone who is a US citizen by birth would want to live in a country where you basically cannot do anything, when people from those countries can move to your country and get to do everything...
Perhaps due to the history of the people who invaded North America-were all immigrants. So immigration is in the DNA of the USA. It’s very different for a location that’s had very little immigration and where family owned land goes back hundreds of years. In the UK we had an Empire and this has led to the welcoming of people who once showed allegiance to The Crown. Look to history/geography for answers.
Hello NG. I think one aspect to this issue is knowing how to walk back previously over-generous behaviour. People can gradually walk back this previous behaviour, or even do it dramatically. It's up to the individual. Personally, I would ideally try to walk it back in steady good chunks over time, till it's either non-existent or at the point the giver is comfortable with. If possible, it may also be worth explaining the change in one's behaviour, so recipients can hopefully accept and understand the change.
If I could and had all the money in the world, I would walk Thailand doing for Thai People., I enjoy this. I am of little means but do what I can. So yes, I am a walking atm to Thai people but I pic my moments when I can make a huge impact on a particular Thai person. It maybe a person who struggles to sell small trinkets and is not doing well. It may be a villager who has not had a great meal in a few. I try to be stealth. Don't tell anyone ❤
This is a good point but you are not an ATM - an ATM is used by someone - they are not using you - you are giving from the heart as I also try to do 👍👍👍
I was one at one time... Then married her, brought her back to America, put her to work(she loves to work), and now when we're visiting, she's the walking ATM 👍. We deposit money on her bank when exchange rates are good.... So we have money waiting when we visit
Yes. Your diver who comes to your house every day will expect a tip now. You are a celebrity. He knows that you are RU-vid. I have been watching you for the past 2 years. So has everyone else.
My Thai wife and I refuse to be the family ATM. Not only that, I said many times to my wife that she has to realize that her parents are not young anymore and their pension is depending on their children. She should talk to her sisters and brother about this and then make clear what everybody can give to the parents. The problem is that she is the youngest and because of that whatever she says is not accepted. She's 50! So the never ending story continues... but still I'm not a walking ATM.
My father was an ExPat who lived in Bangkok for 20 plus years until about 2000. He married a Thai woman named Tuk, who was a lovely person and had her own career. My Dad was quite successful as a Civil Engineer and lived very well. When Tuk passed away due to cancer my dad married her younger sister. Shortly there after he came back to the US and lived in Tampa. The marriage to the sister was not a good one and she ended up going back to Thailand after about 5 years. You can have good relationships with local Thai's but, as you say, choose wisely !
I’m Thai living in Chicago USA. I make $40k per month doing 4 faceless RU-vid channels about finance. My kid’s mother ( black girl ) still thinks I’m an Uber driver. I pick up my 4 year old daughter while driving an old Nissan Versa. And I tell my daughter that my main car is “Grandma’s car”. Also the house I live in is “Grandma’s house”. If my daughter wants something I tell her grandma has all the money. I do all of this to prevent my daughter’s mom from know the truth. When my daughter turns 18, she will know the truth. Everything that daddy and grandma owns will solely be hers one day. We lied to prevent mommy from stealing what is rightfully hers. So you are correct sir. You become a walking ATM because of the choices you make. Even here in USA.
"A Walking ATM" is the same all over the world. Look at tourist hot spots in every country. Up here in little Chiang Khan I have found respect for my contribution to my community and family. Collaboration in happiness seems to be way. The real currency is humility, patience, open-mindedness and a well practised sense of humour. Only my experience.
You have very good thoughts Ryan,and don’t want to waste your and your subscribers time with what I have done as an “walking atm” in Thailand,but I used exact those words when I told,a Thai women In Prachuab Khiri Khan,and I did what I did,BUT it was my choice,but it was waste of time (and a lot of my money) but that’s history now,but now I have a very very special Thai women,with a very very special background in her family so now I have a lovely life with her,and the ATM machine is scrapped. Cheers Ryan.
Right at the start I made it clear that I have my own kids in Australia, and they are my first priority, my wife tells everyone I don’t have any money which works wonders! So I only get approached occasionally for a loan, my wife quickly sets them straight. I have a big property, so I help out villagers by giving them some work here and there, bit of landscaping etc.
I have been finding out it not necessarily a farang ATM issue. My wife makes 2.1 million baht a year working here in America, she used to get asked all the time for "help". She takes care of her mom and grandpa ect. Thank god she doesn't have any brothers and sisters 555. Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, friends used to ask quite a bit. We budget fairly tightly because of having a mortgage here in the states and building a house in Thailand, meanwhile trying to retire early. Thai people are awesome, dropped my wallet 3 times on the last trip and always had someone running up fast giving it back, twice in BKK and once in the village. Always a heavy tipper on vacation mode, lol. Poor people in Thailand don't have anything close to the west with all the social safety nets such as food stamps, housing, ect. I could go on and on about how Thai people on the average are much less gimme gimme gimme than those in the west.
Oh yeah. There are thousands of people in Britain on welfare and have never worked. Some of these people can get up to £40k a year for just sitting on their backsides. And they're still ungrateful.
Maybe with the delivery guy tip situation, it may have been better to do a decent tip once or twice in the year before a local holiday or festival. That way it doesn't become a dependency, but it can be appreciated at a time in the year when more money could be useful.
Nailed it. All countries are the same and life is about money and how to live of it. Spend it wisely and do only what you can afford. I could write a book about the past 20 years in Thailand and i still love it. If someone complains that he is a walking ATM then he definitely hang out at the wrong places and maybe with the wrong people. Not saying anyone is bad, it's the vibe and you get what you expect. But at the end of the day it is your decision to pull out your card and spend the money. If you complain about it then you already admit that you are the problem.
Make sure to work on yourself leaving your bad habits back home. Do your homework on understanding the culture. You move overseas to create a better life. Take the time to find a partner who aligns with your values. If you go overseas for the wrong reasons making poor choices don't complain about the consequences. Thailand can be an almost perfect paradise with right mindset. Understand living overseas isn't the right choice for everyone.
There's a difference between 'a hand out' and 'a hand up'. The old saying, Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime". Sure some people need some help in a positive way, but not to be dependent on the help.
My wife is constantly being asked how much I give her every month, quite openly. She doesn't give an answer. I also give a minimal amount when asked for contributions to the temple funds or local school. In case this sounds stingy, we regularly feed the "wheelchair man" as well as anyone that asks. This is at odds with Buddhist philosophy as understood here, they think that a rich guy that gives a lot of money to charity makes more merit than a poor widow that gives just a little, but that little is a big sacrifice. The rich guy helps more people than the poor guy, so... The "other Farang" in our village comes at the top of the list of donators, announced publicly, in the scale of ฿10 000 when the next highest donation will be ฿1000. The brother in law yesterday broke a machine while looking after our garden. He knows I know about it and also that if he asks I'll help pay (there again. I wouldn't pay the full amount).
Holy Fk. Awesome video. Thank you for sharing it 💯 spot on. Coming from an American 🇺🇸 male …a good catch according to my friends wives 🤷🏻♂️…in his 50s …that goes to the tourist spots and takes advantage of the economic disparity situation.🙄 With that said, I’m so sick of all these guys saying they’re taken advantage of. Take some responsibility. Understand the economic situation from all parties involved and just deal with it. And holy sugar, by the look of you all, you’re lucky to be talking to any female 😂😂😂. It’s really embarrassing as another man 😅. Appreciate you sticking up for the Thais and the Thai parents Too many people are getting the wrong story. Thank you again for sharing. All the Best Dave
Ryan, can you share your thoughts on is it possible to have good Thai friends (not relationships) that are not based on financial support? I have been told that it is exceptionally difficult to have true Thai friends without some kind of financial motivation. How are mindsets of men and women different as it relates to farangs? Thanks and all the best to you and your family.
I don’t think I have ever had a Thai friend that was based on financial support and I would say I have had about 20 good thai friends since being here 🙏
My Thai-wife is the finance minister, checks every bill and counts what comes in and goes out. She holds the money together. Makes life so easy. If somebody wants to borrow needs to talk to her ... much luck
I have watched a lot. You have opened my eyes more. Making me realise they are just there to make money same as here. Thank you. I’m going to be on my own and deeply out of my depth, why I am putting in my research every day for a month now.
In Thailand, as it should be anywhere in the world, parting with your money is totally in your own control...other than being a victim of a crime. It's nobodies fault but mine (thank you Zep)...should be your credo to live by. Yes, the bar girls go to a different province to work and tell their families they work in a restaurant, hotel or other morally acceptable job.
You are a walking ATM anywhere in South East Asia, not just the tourist areas. After 6 years in Thailand and more than 11 years in the Philippines - I can tell you that much. Never buy a property, never lend money, for whatever reason. Always rent (preferably short to mid-term) and always keep your stuff almost packed and ready to go any moment, no relationship is for life (many farangs fail to realize that) . If it's not working just leave or leave her having kids with them is a big no-no
As one, multiple times married, American woman said (I don't know who). "I have married for love and I have married for money. Marrying for money is better".
Good vid, full of common sense. Just a suggestion, you should offer a per-hour advice/help service for farangs considering retiring/moving to Thailand. A lot of people don't have the time/inclination to scour through hundreds of videos
