"Be very careful to take advice from someone who hasn't asked you any questions." This is great. Thank you, Conor. The art of conversation is precious.
Excellent advice, Conor. I love your ability to read the situation when you're in the role of the teacher in a classroom vs. a person in a conversation.
Thank you for answering in the title. Genius answer. I’ve asked myself this question because I only want to listen & don’t want to talk about myself but definitely want them to know I care & am sincere/engaged.
You are so right Connor. So many people are so self-centered that they can't really have a quality conversation with somebody because all they want to talk about are themselves. I remember two individuals that I tried to have friendships with and we talked at length about a topic yeah it was them their lives their interests. And then after we were done talking about them the friendships came to an end. They failed to see that there was another individual with a whole other set of experiences and history that could have been explored yes that was me but they weren't interested in discussing my life. And you're right about asking questions asking questions is a great way to get people to talk but they also have to understand that they are not the only character in the novel.
Thanks Connor for sharing such great video, our emotions,ego and fear are not allow us to be interested…always want people get good impression about us, lead them conversation where we have great story to tell them. Probably before asking question from people, we need to learn ask hard and right question from ourselves
Super stuff Conor as always and enjoyable. How true that advice (not a term I like) has to be person-centred. That means we (I find myself, like you, more the giver than recipient of advice) need to do a lot of listening and often (well in my case anyway) avoid knee-jerk advice. Reflection, ahead of response, is often exponentially valuable in its insight, quality and usefulness. “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Viktor Frankl But we live in a fast world and (young?) people rarely want the kind of advice that teaches them to fish (rather than offers them a fish on a plate). They want answers … now … in these “feed me immediately” times.
Awsome advice. I think most people really don't ask question, don't exercise their couriosity. How can we polite say "you shoudl ask more question when you talk", to friends, colleagues, family.?
The problem I have is: When I ask a lot of questions in a meeting (to get input and information); I feel it is perceived as I lack knowledge on that subject or Zi am week or I am not in control of the company. Any thoughts would be welcome...
But some people ask questions just for the sake of it. It seems as if they learnt somewhere that asking questions is the way to carry out a conversation where the other person would think you're interested in them and they'd use this hack and just keeping asking questions. I actually hate it when that happens and feel that the person isn't actually interested in what I'm saying. Rather they want to seem that they're interested to make themselves seem like a good listener.
What I hate is i'm not making eye contact and i'm keeping to myself minding my own business and almost daily people want to come up to me and talk or ask questions or say stupid shit which pisses me off... and I've tried reading books from robert greene to see if i come across anything that can shed some light on why they do what they do. The best answer I can come up with is that people want to size other people up and if they see someone who looks weak they want to see if they can take advantage of them there's no real reason to say good morning to someone who is 15 feet away from you with their back turned to you and not even remotely aware of your presence or is even slightly familiar with who you even are. this to me hints a need to have power over people to assert your will on others by making them feel obligated to your greeting however I know the only way to deflect this all together is to no respond and walk away without ever even peering at their general direction but it does feel awkward and annoying
Off topic. You should really shave you head. I know you probably don’t care but you would look awesome. Thanks for your channel and wise words. Greetings from Denmark.
just try the parroting technique and if they are dragging along the conversation just tell them "I have to go" and make sure to jump in and blurt it out or they will never stop don't be afraid of feeling bad they'll more than likely go to someone else and do the same thing.
Hello Conor, wonderful that you shared this episode as these situations happen to all of us. It's startling how many people there are who have lived full lives, had great careers and travelled the world, yet don't know how to have a meaningful conversation. I'm sure you have probably come across this short video before, by Celeste Hadlee, but just in case: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-R1vskiVDwl4.html She is funny and light but some of the themes are quite deep. Best wishes, Nicholas
