Don't compare to others. Be a full fill human being. That means fire 🔥full energy input on ur goal. That my guru advice.. Pls tag heart❤ symbol shade........
Strive for excellence rather than maladaptive perfection 1. Evaluate your intent- perfection should not be your goal. 2. Re evaluate your standards- keep your expectations in check. Be realistic 3. Reset your standards and commit- don't be a maximizer 4. Expose yourself to imperfection
You're most welcome and God Bless you too! It's been an extremely busy couple of weeks with our business but my husband put in extra effort to get this edited and sent out ASAP today. 😊
I'm sorry to hear that Vipin. It is very difficult to give advice on what to do to regain confidence as there are so many possible root causes. A good place to start is to gain clarity about what is causing this loss in confidence by reflecting objectively. This means making time to sit quietly and allowing your mind to reach a state of calm. Then I recommend that you write your thoughts but not in the first person - instead in the third person (e.g. Vipin has been feeling...). Ask yourself questions and meditate on the answers then write your answers as if you are describing another person. This technique of 'Psychological Distancing' can really help you. It takes practice at first before it gets easier and becomes more effective. One other approach that my husband and I also use is prayer combined with mediation. There is enormous power in sincere prayer asking for guidance and assistance, followed by quiet meditation on resolving the issue, follower by making a decision and acting on that decision immediate with faith that the right answer, the right book or the right guidance will come. Sending you our very best wishes.
Thanks a bunch Dear sister Shade, i really needed to hear this.. yet again! 'A Great contrubution to 21 century humanity these videos of yours are...' - *The Wise Yodda by Lucas* 🍷👍
Thank you for your insights. I guess analysis paralysis relates strong with perfectionism. Maybe impostor syndrome too. I feel that all of that relates to past criticism (not feedback) and bullying. The past criticism grows the fear of failure and with that, the perfectionism behaviour.
Critiques are welcome who tell us good and bad, but critics who tell us only the bad, are welcome only when I ask for feedback. Critics have helped me improve too. But, the bottom line is to focus on oneself, not others. Improve oneself from the current state, check competition for inspiration, doing something different, etc., but not for focussing on them, but one's own strengths that maybe the competition does not have. Competitors can be unintentional teachers, so why shun them. Bottom line, believe in oneself, but not blindly, sometimes test one's beliefs.
OMG, that is me. Never happy with myself & the outcomes of my work. Can't make any decisions since there might be something better. Now I know why, I'm going to try the ways you mentioned, hopefully, it'll help.
WoW! I have been struggling to be perfect in my work And u have clearly explained how to overcome it, this video has much value and this will be timeless and help people
Thanks Shade. I am this guy who has had this maladaptive perfectionism and working to deal with it for good, I remember around this time of the year, one year ago I was at a dark place with severe gastrointestinal pain, back pain from working waaaay beyond the normal working hours. This was made worse because I was refraining from asking for help in an effort to "look" like I know when I didn't. It has been quite a journey and I am working on myself daily by God's grace. Since I discovered your channel I have absorbed so much value from your clips. May God add value to every portion of your life just as you are pouring out yourself to us.
Waaoowwww ma'am... I am immensely impressed by the accent and the content of yours. I wasn't aware about this. Glad to learn a new thing today. It helped me to change my mindset. Thanks a gazillion ma'am... Keep creating these amazing tutorials and video lessons for us... Ma'am you deserve millions of likes, shares, subscribers... 😊😊😊. I am highly impressed.
God bless you! I just love your videos honestly! I find them very helpful indeed! Thanks a lot!! Loved your personality & soon I'll be able to transform mine too, God willing! Thanks again!❤😇🤩
You're brilliant. It's amazing how everytime I watch videos, I feel like you're talking to me. Im always learning something new from you. Appreciate it Shadè 👍👍👍
It's truly amazing how the only beings on this planet that care about being perfect are humans. Yet this pathological need drives so many to make choices that more then often causes such angst and inner psychic pain. Perhaps you could speak to how embracing one's "imperfections" is a way to learn how to just be in the moment. My horses will never win a race, nor any riding contest but they have taught me that character, courage and the willingness to try is more important than doing something perfectly. I once watched a woman riding her $20,000 pure blooded Arabian have a complete meltdown as a flock of geese landed near it. My rescue horse, a Belgian cross just stood there calm and cool. She asked me " Why my horse didn't react?" I said " Because I let him make mistakes and not ask more of him then he is willing to give." Being perfect is a myth, doing everything perfectly is an illusion only humans care about it much to our detriment.
I am such a mal-perfectionist that I have to erase my comment several times before I post this. I don't know if you gonna read it or not but I am still confused about some aspects of my mentality about my perfectionism. I know I have suffered a lot In my Architecture school to be a perfectionist but I don't know what to crave for if not perfection. Ultimately you can not provide 100%. But if you don't try to achieve 100%, how are you going to deliver the best solution to your client? and if you don't give your best aren't you cheating your client?
You are obviously a brilliant lady. But why do you dig so deeply and critically into Perfection? Great athletes Must go all out to achieve Perfection if they want to win medals. So perfectionism is a must in certain endeavors. You are thoughtful and caring and I learn so much from your videos. You have wisdom , the rare rare attribute. Thanks very much
I really like your videos and value your views and efforts on every thought. I want to request you to pls share a video on a person who is a maladaptive perfectionist, who never critize own performance and capabilities but always expecting others to be that perfect for all lil things in the same way obviously which is never possible, and so always critizing every person, can't delegate and not happy with anyone. What should we call that person and what can be the approach to deal with such person. More specifically, this is in personal family relationship. Thanks
Ugh- being a perfectionist no doubt takes a toll on my mental health. I feel like I have such a deeply ingrained fear of failure especially at work. The funniest thing is that I'll come across my co-workers mistakes (my bosses as well) and the world doesn't end. I have a lot of unlearning to do 😳
Kudos for acknowledging this. You said it right 'unlearning'. Which then needs to be supplemented with new habits to break from old patterns of behavior. Often that fear of failure comes from an intense need for control, safety, approval or any combination of the 3. 'Naming' the root cause of that fear can help you 'tame' to it. I find journaling in the third person is an effective way to understand where our habits come from and then to start shifting that internal dialogue.
I love to watch your videos mostly because your videos content are mostly on handling real life situation .it's keep motivating me making me a better person each day . such a small suggestion stop being so attractive so I can concentrate on your information not on you .thank you & keep it up . 👍👏
Thank you Zahrai for making my life easier. I used to beat up myself. Now, after watching your video, I realized that adaptive perfectionism can make your mornings brighter and full of gratitude.
This video helped me a lot. It's like every sentence is made for me. You are doing a great work by enhancing many people's lives. Keep the good work going.
Thank you for the kind words. My husband and I work long hours with our business and also make time to produce these videos. Helping others brings us a lot of joy. We know people who are incredibly rich that are very unhappy and those who live with modest means yet are full of gratitude, generosity and kindness. Having a more positive, optimistic and productive existence is a choice. 😊
Common assumption that some Middle Easterners make is thinking it's Shadee. My mom, who came from England, named me after her favorite singer Britsh/Nigerian Sade Adu. Thanks trying to correct my name 😂
One more amazing this is blowing my mind...☺️👍💯 I feel stressed before the video thank God I watched it. It makes feel energy and refreshed. It removed mountain on my head.. 💯👍👍💯..
Excellence makes you better and better on daily basis. Which gives to lots of goals and feel fresh everytime. It's stedy and long process with more benefits. 💯👍💯👍
