yes. so so important. I know my anger has made me incredibly sick. i was taught that anger is 'bad'. literally, this is what my mom thought and still thinks. I was put in my room, isolated, and told I was bad, when I was angry. I get it now that all feelings are important. my anger tells me when my boundaries are being violated. I must feel and acknowledge it.
This is a huge problem for me (unable to access anger I know must be there) (and freeze/functional freeze, albeit not very functional). I brace 24/7 and when I focus on shaking off bracing it is showing up in other parts of my body as soon as I try to loosen up. I also hold my breath a lot. I have entirely isolated myself which has allowed me to feel much safer and much more relaxed, but I think in part due to everything trapped in my body, I have no bandwidth to introduce any stresses into my life because my body is so focussed on maintaining this sense of peace and safety ive managed to obtain. It's very unhealthy but at the same time for so long my life was so scary and dangerous that it feels so much better the way I am now.
Hello, Sophia from Team Lyon here. Thank you for your comment and for sharing your story. Irene's teachings offer a titrated way to work with your body and a gentle approach to nervous system work including stress, so you might find her free resources and mini-training helpful and insightful, as well as a great introduction to this work: irenelyon.com/free-resources/ Please do not hesitate to reach out to our support inbox if you have any questions.
Hello, Sophia from Team Lyon here. Thank you for your comment. Irene's teachings offer a titrated way to work with your body and a gentle approach to nervous system work including stress, so you might find her free resources and mini-training helpful and insightful, as well as a great introduction to this work: irenelyon.com/free-resources/ Please do not hesitate to reach out to our support inbox if you have any questions.
After the decades of repressed anger at my parents, I finally let myself realise that they did deserve that anger. Now have to heal my stomach and constant lack of energy and other stuff. But at least this is a step forward. Thank u for the subject raised!
How do you deal with people who you love provoke you into anger so they don't have to hold their anger. Basically the project their behaviors onto you. When you do put boundaries in place they step up their repressed anger in covert ways. Basically, when you put boundaries in place they then feel shame for their behavior and can not face their anger but make you hold their anger. This type of behavior is very covert and destroys families and society. The one who repressed anger forces others to represse their anger. If that makes sense. Also, when you try to be compassionate towards them and resolve the issues they refuse to take responsibility and make you hold it by alienated others from you with lies to cover up their behavior due to repressed anger.
A very very hard lesson to learn is that you cannot take responsibility for other people's emotions and actions. Even when it's a loved one, and their behavior is toxic. At best, you can be a good model. Maintain your chosen boundaries for your own health. I'm still working on this myself.
This is literally my dad with me & im running away from my house I’m facing housing insecurity I may have to sleep in my car but I have tried for decades to get out bc he is a toxic piece of work. He will never change & I love myself too much to stay in a place like this. I have so much rage and repressed anger from the years. God bless good luck to u
@cosmicageastrology Hello, Sophia here from Team Lyon. Thank you for your question and for sharing what is going on for you. Here is a video of Irene talking about how a person can heal in a non-supportive environment ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-U4IgtrZDJXg.html If you feel inclined to learn more and work on your nervous system, we highly recommend Irene's free resources and mini-training, all housed under this link: irenelyon.com/free-resources/
Alowing myself to stamp around my house, (alone of course! and when the cats are out😸) and mutter "F You" to whoever I'm feeling it towards @ the moment, going into monologues I never got to say if they arise, has helped me ALOT!! Usually I end up in a puddle of tears of gratitude and fall asleep for hours afterwards. Good Luck in Everything❤
@momione11 Hello, Sophia here from Team Lyon. Thank you for your comment and sorry to hear what's going on for you. Thank you for sharing. If you feel inclined to learn more about your nervous system and how to work with it, we highly recomment Irene's free resources and mini-training, all housed under this link irenelyon.com/free-resources/ Please feel free to reach out to our support inbox if you have any questions or need more support. I hope this helps.
IRT helped me to get rid of that nightmare watching my parents fight when I was 6. It stopped the nightmares I had for over 15 years. I didn't think it would work but it did. School nurse and teachers didn't believe I was having the nightmares - secondary trauma that is still with me today almost 60 years later.
I am so grateful for this information!! I have lived most of my life in survival mode and spent many years working on the physical level with limited results. Addressing my nervous system is really helping! As I build capacity I will have major adrenaline/copper dumps at times but knowing what it is helps me be with it. Then the next day when I feel worn out I simply rest.
Talk therapy can often just cause Sympathetic activation to be on loop (probably not technical terminology haha). ie. Talking about past difficulties actually puts more stress/anxiety into our system. Additionally, we very easily become addicted to our own stress chemicals, hence the work addiction epidemic that has been propelled by an overactive Sympathetic NS.
Dr Mate's book is right, I am everything he speaks of. I have the book and read it, along with several others but fixing decades of trauma isn't easy and therapists blaming me for it doesn't help. Three heart attacks, three divorces, three suicide attempts, autoimmune disease. I am text book. My brother died of cancer, so did several of our ancestors. Hearts attacks early runs the family. Tell your doctor off!?!?!? Good luck, they are not listening and threaten you if you do!! It's ok to abuse patients but not abuse medical staff who are abusing patients!!! I have PTSD from that!! More PTSD than I already had from vindictive people.
I've suppressed my emotions my whole life. I cry easily maybe because i bottle it all up. So i have to dissociate so i don't embarrass myself. I need to be more assertive also.
No info on how to really work with it. These online gurus say they have the answers and just take money and you just get angrier from getting scammed. How's that for expressing my anger?
Listen again at 7.40. This is an introduction tp a whole field of work, it cannot be done in 16 minutes. She has a lot of material for free as well, if you want to start finding out. Congrats for recognising some genuine anger, wishing you well in your search.
@jenergy1000 Hello, Sophia here from Team Lyon. Thank you for your comment and feedback. Irene offers many free resources, including this RU-vid channel with hundreds of very informative videos. You can find a free mini-training, as well as a neurosensory exercise and other great resources here, if you wish to learn more on how to work with your nervous system: irenelyon.com/free-resources/ I hope this helps
Hello, Sophia here from Team Lyon. Thank you for your comment. Here are two longer videos talking about all things anger ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-RljnDLOJwd8.html and ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-66Wm_hQEs3o.html
I'm English, so I feel qualified to say hell yes, down with the stiff upper lip. If you find North Americans annoying simply for being exuberant, it's a symptom. Whoever you are, don't be a slave to your culture. Let's face it, if it was so perfect you wouldn't be here watching this, would you? Keep what's good, ditch what's toxic.
And what do you do when you speak your mind civilly and stand up for yourself and you get screwed over time & time again by a vindictive person who can't tolerate anyone disagreeing with them? It wasn't only me so NOT how I said it, NOT what I said but the immature person who can't handle what they heard. If you say something you are wrong, if don't say anything you are wrong. There is no right answer!! I dealt with too many paranoid schizophrenics, too many narcissists, too many control freak who are vindictive so saying anything they don't like is inviting a fight you can't win!! Too many toxic work environments. I tried a punching bag, didn't work. When you are dealing with crazy people you can't win. This is why people are addicted , this is why people commit suicide.
Reich also knew of the intense trauma of genital mutilation - circumcision - which Americans have been torturing and traumatizing baby boys with for 50+ years - millions and millions of men who are sexually traumatized. The majority of nerve endings are in the foreskin according to histological studies. These men are damaged and have anger inside of them - anger being a sign of their bodies and boundaries being violated. No wonder American men are especially concerned with looking "manly" in a very narrow hypermasculine sense, and are out of touch with their bodies and sensuality. Consider how American men make fun of European men for being "gay" or "sissies"...etc. I'm ashamed to live in America, but am glad my mother comes from a recently former British colony.
