I have had my home teacher come bye only once and the bishop came by twice, the second time was was with the stake President, I have 4 sets of missionaries show up at my door. I invite them in and I talk about everything but religion. When they bring up religion and why I left. I start talking about my take church history, they then usually bare their testimonies and leave. I still like the members in the church. My wife passed away 7 years ago, I don’t have my name removed from the records because I don’t want to hurt or cause bad blood with them. I still will attend a church function if it is in support of my wife’s family. I currently consider myself a spiritual agnostic, I am not out to convert anyone to my way of thinking. I lost my belief in the church at age 50, I remained active till age 59 and I hated every minute of being lied to in gospel doctrine. I am not much different now then I was when I was a TBM, I found out I don’t like alcohol and coffee upsets my stomach, I am glad to have my weekends off and l don’t have to be guilted into paying 10% of my income. I am done with holy men and holy books and magical messiahs.
Oh my goodness…I love the thumbnail for this video❤ It seems like every time they show up it’s the worst timing. It’s kind of embarrassing when you just got out of the shower and guys are at your door in their suits and ties😂
My family used to rat me out. They are true believers. I finally got my name removed. Ironically, narcissists do the same thing. They find a reason to reach out. Then, they use that to attempt to re-recruit. And yes my family continues to try to re-recruit even though I've been crystal clear about my boundaries.
I had the assignment to clean up the rolls in one of my wards. I called or tried to track down info on all the names who were just ghosts. I'm so sorry. I was a tool. Fast forward to a few years ago and SLC was calling me and looking for my son's address. I refused and she got pretty mouthy with me. I laid on the southern charm and pointed out how unChristlike it was for her to be talking that way to me. LOL. I told her my relationship with my children was way more important than talking to her about where they live.
I respect your priorities. My mother is one of the most devout TBM’s I have ever known. Throughout her life, any time there was a conflict between church and family (surprisingly often), church wins every time, without hesitation. She justifies it with the mentality that she will not risk her eternal salvation. She’s twice divorced and exactly half of her kids left the church years ago. She still makes sure the church has our new addresses when we move.
@@woodystube1000sounds like my mil. I have a great relationship with her and we talk on the phone a lot and visit (we are in different states) But, religion is an uncomfortable topic. I’m christian and now my husband is too. Deep down I think she holds me responsible for him becoming Christian. Thing is he had been inactive at least 15 yrs before we met. I try to be respectful but when she says something that’s incorrect I correct it gently and explain why.
I had this happen with my family. I quit believing in my early 20s, but just walked away from the church and never attended after I joined the military. I didn't really care about the church any more but didn't take action to remove my records. Years later my dad got back active in the church and took it upon himself to update my records (behind my mom's back I might add), so suddenly I ended up getting an invitation to the YSA ward Christmas party (I was married with 3 kids by this point which I found hilarious). I ignored it and went about my life. A few months later we had to move - I still hadn't made any contact with the local ward at that point. After we'd been in the new place a few months I got some other piece of mail from the local ward (but not the YSA ward), so once again my records had been updated - I assumed by my father at that point but it might have been the forwarding trick you mentioned in the video. Then about a year after that we bought a house. We'd just closed on it and I was spending a couple of weeks doing some prep work prior to us moving in like painting and putting in new flooring. I was in the middle of painting a bedroom and the doorbell rings and when I answered there was a pair of sister missionaries smiling back at me. When I told them that I was already a member but inactive, they told me that they knew, they were visiting inactive members. So once again my records had been moved. I assumed it was my dad again, but when I was talking about it recently with my mom after my dad had passed she told me that she didn't think they had my address at the point when the missionaries visited. So perhaps once again that was the forwarding trick at work somehow. The missionaries showing up was the straw that broke the camel's back for me and the first opportunity I had I searched on how to remove my records. That led to an entire other set of drama because once again my family meddled in my record and had my records pulled back to their ward right in the middle of the process of having my name removed, so my letter saying they'd been removed went to their house instead of mine. A letter which they opened, again interfering in my business.
I’m 46 white male and I don’t exist either. I was discarded like trash once the “new convert “ wore off. I’m invisible to sisters in the dating market. So it’s just not you. In 3 years I’ve never ever a milionce of success in dating.
A friend of mine's mom won the lottery. She ended up being the richest person then in their ward. She was baptised, she even had her certificate but somehow she slipped through the cracks and they said she wasn't a member. When she won the money and it made the news, the stake president, bishop, missionaries, relief society pres all showed up at her door.....she did show them her baptismal certificate from decades earlier and suddenly she was a member again.
Someone figured your new address and then the clerk forwards your record to the new ward. The records are like a bio of your life in the church. There are links to callings, temple sealings, mission served in, DofB, names and number of children and many other tidbits of background information. There is even a "red flag" part where a former bishop can note on you record to contact him. That means information can be shared between bishops, good or bad.
When I was on a mission, I became an assistant to the president. He liked me A LOT and considered me to almost be like another son. One day I was in his office and he opened a secret door in the wall and inside there was a filing cabinet with files on EVERY missionary who was serving. He said that when missionaries go home, he was required to send their records to SLC. He said that those records determine your future in the Church. There were some missionaries who slacked off, spent their time doing nothing in our mission and years later I see them at General Conference talking as Seventies. I was like SAY WHAT? Then my first Mission Pres ended up living in our ward and he'd talk to me and always called me Elder and said I was one of his best performers. I thought to myself, then he thinks a mission is just a performance? Get more converts you are the best? I went on a mission for 2 reasons. To do good and because my family life was horrible. I escaped by going on a mission.
15:00 I love this episode. I am waiting on them to excommunicate me because I spend all day learning all the information I need to destroy regressive rightoid false religions in a debate, and I am not afraid to debate missionaries or anyone who wants to bully everyone into submission to their narcissistic delusions
If you are ever a member your information is stored in their vault, you honestly think your names are really removed from there? They’re not, guaranteed!
My old VT companion called out of nowhere “just to see how I was doing “ as if it wasn’t an assignment. She was very nervous. It’s really dreadful to be in that position to do the outreach. She invited me to an RS event THAT NIGHT so I figured she must’ve put off that call until the last minute. I already had plans. 😉
Last time I went to church was 25 years ago. I moved twice to different cities, my mom faithfull mom died 8 years ago. Only 2 friends of my mom know my address. In all this years no one contact me. I think I am lucky
Very good! I always wondered how the church found me when I moved from one part of the state to the other. Only other member of my family is my oldest daughter who is less active than me-& she lives further than I do. They found her after her 4 moves! I was thinking of requesting my name off the church records-but I too like the free Ancestry-& Family Search. She could care less. I sent her this RU-vid! I am following you-such great info. Now if I could discourage those pesky missionaries… ugh.
When my dad was Elder's Quorum Home Teaching Supervisor, he used Mormon cult's paid info people finder account to find/stalk people when they moved out of the ward. He also used it for personal reasons to stalk friends and family
Did quite a bit of tracking down inactive and lost members on my mission in Tennessee. Amazing how many people don’t even know that they are members of the church. Like nobody ever told them that getting baptized was joining a church. Also, quite a few others such as homosexuals and others who left home to find some peace and freedom in their lives.
For those interested Mormon Stories did an episode with Mark Naugle the lawyer running quitmormon (there's another guy helping him with the website I think). He answers a lot of frequently asked questions.
Well I went inactive and nobody cared nobody has contacted me at all in 10 months. I slid into absolute obscurity. One missionary ghosted me, I deleted facebook I had when I was active. Even my married “friends” I made at my original ward don’t talk to me anymore and they don’t even know I’m inactive. It’s kind of sad in a sense that I was just completely discarded so easily once the “new convert “ wore off.
The record isn’t removed though. Even if just a colloquialism, resigning still leaves all the info but does turn off contact ability. Is thrill in their databases. Consider people that get baptized and all their data pops back up. I still want to see the code to know how much their apps scrape data since email scraping, keylogging, ability to see all other installed apps or location tracking are all possible with the blanket permissions.
What was really funny i met two sister missionarys and i showed them the sealed portion of the book of Mormon by Christopher and they looked at me like i was a mad man lol 😆 because the sealed part of the book of Mormon was released ages ago and they rejected it! Lol 😆
I've learned if I don't return my mothers phone call in a timely manner she will call the missionaries to come over and do a wellness check on me. haha she is so sneaky. I return her calls within 24 hours now.
I also had someone use my passport application at the post office to get my phone number. She texted me and even introduced herself that way. She was in the relief society, and that's how she got my number. 😳
Thank you. Catholics who had faith issues, call themselves, Recovering Catholics, not ex-Catholic. I still consider myself Catholic, I never had to ask for my name to be formally removed from any list. 1. I have never been directly contacted by a Catholic diocese after they realized i was no longer active. 2. I haven't belonged to a Catholic parish for 35 years. I've been in my present home for 25 years. 3 Anually, for years, I sent donations to the Catholic elementary and high school that I attended for a combined 12 years. 4. To specifically help their scholarship funds. My growing up neighborhood was lower class, economically. 5 So the diocese could find me if they wanted to.
I wasn't contacted by anyone after I left the church. I was in a mixed faith marriage for a while but finally resigned in 2015. It's nice not being associated with the church
I like that you love your friends regardless of your beliefs. You still welcome you RM friends into your home regardless if they believe or don't believe.
Yeah, the loss of friendships has definitely been difficult since we’ve left the church. Understanding that people are viewing us through through a lens that the church created helps, but it’s still sad.
I’ve never been Mormon but my husband grew up LDS. He left before we got married but never withdrew his name. Probably 8-9 years after we got married, and 3 moves later, I had a couple of missionaries walk up while I was outside with my kids and my husband was at work. They were looking for him trying to get in contact with him. He sent in his letter very shortly after to remove his name. 😂
Thanks for your video. Back in the 90s I kept getting calls from the church trying to track down a sister in-law. 1st I said I couldn't give out the information without permission, 2 call I told them they don't them to have that info & why...they called 4-5 time before they got another family member which did give out the info which really pissed me off.
Ok, I do have a question. I won't know if the two of you married before or after you left Mormonism, but I've always wondered how difficult it would be on married couples who left the church together? They may be experiencing grief, separation anxiety, extended family problems, maybe some culture shock...and other issues. Does this impact the sustainability of the marriage? Does it create unique challenges in the marriage? Hey, love your videos! 😀
I quit going to church at age 18 (over 50 years ago). Back then, I figured I should have graduated from church the same time as graduating high school! But also I was quite the party animal and just plain didn't like going to church and hearing the same old stuff week after week. The past 10 years, I think I have been vindicated by all the folks getting the truth out about the church to the public. Sadly, since I am still inactive, it is really hard to try to find things to participate in our community since so much revolves around the ward. Faithful members usually don't want to be friends with the unfaithful. I have thought about removing my name, but I understand the church encourages good members to not associate with those that leave. I do not want my very all-in siblings to not associate with me - which I believe they would do. Also, we haven't been contacted by anyone for many years, I think maybe because I let some missionaries know what I think about mormonism. Thanks for posting your experiences!
I got a weird call one time years ago, asking if i knew where one of my (half) sisters might be. Um, no, call our dad (convert and TBM) 🙄 At 45 I formally had my name removed from the church records by email with attached "opened and read" notification to the COB. I got the obligatory pamphlet and that was it. I moved to Nevada and haven't been bothered at all 😀
I got a call from an old guy asking for my father’s contact. I said I don’t know where he is. Phone rang again immediately after. Old guy asked WHY was I estranged from him? Excuse me? That’s none of your business.
What about unbaptized minor children that are a “person of record” due to being blessed. Also, when they make a record number for babies they bless don’t they need to have a parent signature? I don’t remember being told a membership number was being made nor asking for my signature? Thanks How would you remove record of unbaptized minors? My kids were enrolled in seminary without their knowledge. so strange! I guess it’s because the bishop gives a list of all the kids in his stake to the seminary building & then seminary registrar looks up their names & if they are in the system with a number (which even unbaptized but blessed children have) then registrar enrolls them in class. Public high school also can pass names over to seminary & if registrar looks them up & they have a church number on the system, then they are enrolled. Zero separation of church & state here & zero consent given by the child or the parent. This is so strange to me.
Not under the covenant, RM, married non-mormon, entire family TB, had my name removed in 2017 ... do you know if the church retains a record even after they've sent a removal letter? ANY record?
My bishop sat on my letter for 6 months. I asked him about it three times and all he would say was that he would check on it or that he'd check with the stake president. I finally went to my bank, got it notarized and e-mailed it straight to Church headquarters. I had my confirmation letter in hand three days later.
What address did you send it to at church headquarters? Did you write "attention to:"? And did your letter just say "remove all of our records from yours and send me a confirmation?"
It took 30 years to finally get my name removed. I left in 1993, and wrote letters to please remove my name. I have moved five times since then, and they kept following me. I wonder how many members have left the church and are still considered members? The church is not as big as it claims it is.
My husband was not active for at least 15 years. He started coming to church with me and eventually became a Christian. His family didn’t bug him when he was inactive but had a fit when he chose to change his faith. His mom called the local ward and they started visiting. I was home, he wasn’t. I was always nice to them but said he wasn’t home and we attended another church. Some were nice enough but one missionary was very rude and said that I was lying and didn’t give my husband the message that they had stopped by. That was too much! My husband called the church and told them not to come by any longer. Then he called his mom and chewed her out for giving our address. We moved a few years ago and my husband called his mom and told her don’t bother calling because we live in a gated community and they won’t let the missionaries in unless we ok it.
Forgot to mention Im 76. They track you down last time they found me (am so actively inactive) two young missionaries found me and received condensed version of Mormon church history from an African American point of view. They have not been back. Am Gemini. Pleez return. Ok.
What's funny is because I was so unsure about the church and I kept falling inactive all of the time. And because my ward didn't like me anyway they don't bother with me at all. Which is good been gone for 6 years now and they're haven't done anything
I have heard that if you go through church leaders they still keep you on a different record vs quitmormon or an attorney where they force the total removal. I would love to hear if this is actually the case.
Speaking about family search … is there anyway for a non-member to see if temple work has been done for ancestors? Some people say yes but I’ve never been able to find it. Based on what you said, I’m thinking there isn’t a way.
My first thought is to go to a family history center, but thinking about it again, I think they usually use your own credentials to login which would mean you’d still be left without access to the ordinances. Next best would maybe be to find someone in your family who wouldn’t mind you using their app? Anyone who is a member of the church, even just on record, could have access to ordinances
I'm inactive in the church, and I'm considering removing my name from the rolls. The church's new transgender policy really angered me. That being said, I sing for my mom's ward once a year as a Christmas gift, so I feel conflicted.
A number of people have described these exact sentiments since the policy was released. For what it’s worth, it might still be possible to have you sing whether you are on record or not. I understand the complicated feelings of participating with the tribe, but not wanting your name attached to, the harmful aspects of the organization. Best of luck! 🙏
I thought that home teachers were done away with? I have friends who are inactive and one lived in a rural area and one day missionaries showed up and asked for her by name. She was like Say what?
When we stopped attending 4 years ago the title of "home teaching" had just changed to "ministering." I believe it's the same concept, but perhaps someone can clarify.
@@Faith.unraveled Since home teaching has stopped, nobody has ever visited me or any of my friends who do not go to Church anymore. My friend who told the missionaries not to bother her again, came back one more time, but nobody has been in touch since then.
