Jess, I absolutely love your videos and love the fact that you are posting more! Your channel has taught me that you don't need to have 1 million subscribers to change someone's life, because it's not about the amount of subscribers you have but the lives you change. And Jess you have changed my life and helped me beyond. Hope you see this
Omg This is me, same I’m 13 I know 13 sucks it’ll get better but this channel helps me be aware of how adhd affects how I act and how I can prevent some annoying symptoms
Ellie,Take it from a Dad - this will get easier as you get older, you need that time to figure out what works for you (fidgets, post-its, bullet journal(s), colour coding (maybe all of them - maybe something else!)). !!!PLEASE!!! get your parents and/or a trusted adult(s) involved to help you - and hold you accountable - the adults in your life can't help if they don't know that there's a problem! My oldest really struggled, even with the meds and a lot of guidance - we ended up changing schools because she wasn't getting the support at the school she was at - believe it or not, the private school failed her and it are the teachers in the public schools that came through for us. She's 16 now and making mostly B's and a few A's - couldn't be happier with her --- IT WAS A STRUGGLE and an occasional (OK, A LOT of...) argument(s) and I'm sure she didn't like me very much several times (I'm her Dad 1st!), but we have found a way that works for her! Stick in there, and please keep in mind that you are not alone (!!!) and you are loved - and the more you learn about ADHD the better position you are in to not only help yourself but help those that care about you help you. One more thing.... teenage kids can be harsh on their peers... ignore the haters and the bullies, they don't make very long it in the adult world and that's very sad for them.
Oh yeah I have to pack my lunch the night before, whenever I'm like "maybe I'll just make something in the morning" I just have to remember that NO, U WON'T, IT'S A TRAP
INTERESTING THIS SET UP LAY OUT CLOTHES FIX LUNCH SHOWER NITE BEFORE I HAD MY 3 DAUGHTERS DO TO KEEP MORNINGS LESS INSANE CRAZY LOT OF MY PARENTING NEED TO PARENT CHILD IN ME❤ STARTED AROUND 7PM THEN BED AT 8 BUT WELCOME TO READ IF THEY WANTED TO...RESULT 3 GREAT READERS WHEW SOMETHINGS DO WORK...GOT COMPLAINTS WHY DIDNT HELP HOMEWORK...DAMN SUPERWOMAN NOT SUPERHUMAN VOLUNTEERED IN KIDS CLASSES ACTUALLY HELPED MY CHILDHOOD ABUSE NEGLECT EXCEPT SOME TIME WITH GRANDMOTHER AND FEW CARING TEACHERS....ADHD ?? NOT EVEN ON THE INFORMATION. ANY ONE. TOOK TIME HELP AND CARE ALWAYS GRATIFYING AND HUGE HELPED
Me with showering, tbh Can never shower in the morning cause I struggle too hard to actually get out of bed before I absolutely have to. So I need to shower before bed, even if it ends up being past midnight and I'll get way too little sleep.
Or you pack lunch the night before, forget to take it the next morning OR You pack lunch the night before, take it and either forget you have it or look at it and don't want it at lunchtime...
I have sooo many things that I manage to "trap" myself about, delaying them until morning, but then morning brain has no clue how to take a shower or make breakfast... Morning brain even forgets it needs caffeine and nicotine to function, until it's right in front of me and I go like "Oh that's what I was missing". The only thing that really really helps is loud, upbeat music - and suddenly I don't have to think about how to put on socks, or where I left my comfy bra (different place every time, I swear!), or remember to put those dirty dishes into the dish washer right away, before they pile up. Music is such a life-saver!
@@KelleyBroussardMackaig This is why I have never done my hair or makeup for school. I never understood how other girls had the time. I became a "tomboy" this way. I can do it for night events only.
I keep myself from being late by leaving insanely early for everything but this has a catch 22 because this means I am waiting a lot because I am so early a lot of the time. One way I helped with boredom is I started to crochet. It also keeps your hands busy so it can be like a productive fidget tool and is a great thing to do during meetings too. You can keep a project bag in your car so that you don’t have to worry about forgetting one more thing.
I would like a boredom episode, too. I've found I don't get bored as easily as many people (I'm great at entertaining myself)... but I'm also a LOT more likely to use the term "horrifyingly boring" and try to avoid whatever sounds horrifyingly boring at All Costs.
@@saralouise9341 Me too! Any small, portable hobby is great. Before I learned to knit & crochet, I never went ANYWHERE without a book to read. Mobile games are good for that, too -- I used to leave to go places extra early when I was playing a lot of AR games (Pokemon Go, Ingress) to see if there were any portals or gyms near my destination. Now I take my bullet journal everywhere, so if I have downtime, I can always review my schedule or jot down whatever weird ideas pop into my head while I'm waiting.
People don't understand why I get to work hours ahead of time. (I work at a casino.) Look, I'm serious, I can either be two hours early or I can be 10 minutes late, there is no in between.
My internships and teachers at school always complimented me that I always come in at least half an hour too early. But for me it's usually half an hour too early or god knows how late. Lol
When you said "it's not like we're being irresponsible, it's that time looks really fuzzy to us" I literally burst into tears... One of the hardest aspects of my ADHD has been how everyone treats me as if I'm lazy or I don't care enough. :(
Yeah. And then you have a hard time excepting yourself for who you are because you've been criticized, bashed, and beaten down by many.. it's even more sad once you realize you had no idea why you did the things you did, you thought you were some outcast who'd have to live with your mistakes and lack of equality for the rest of your life. It's not that we don't care, we just have a hard time getting there, y'know? it's even more exhausting when you try to mask for others, and erase your mistakes just to "fit in". We'll get through this, though! Hopefully.
As someone who's only newly discovered being a brain sometimes when I can hear the pain in your voice at the frustration it really helps. Love your chanel.
@@HowtoADHD honestly the best thing about this channel is how honest and vulnerable you allow yourself to be. I sometimes watch when Im a mess just to feel less alone. It's like having a very comforting friend. ❤️
@@ladymirth same. Idk if i have ADHD but my mom has it and she taught me a lot of her struggles, because her only strategy was self hatred. So I feel very heard in these videos and can also teach myself some much needed techniques.
I get so frustrated sometimes. I can get up hours in advance to make sure I'm ready on time, but I still end up leaving late because my time blindness makes me leave everything to the last minute! :( Thank you Jess for making these videos and for putting so much I to The research for them!
I used to get very frustrated with my niece and nephew getting ready for school in the am. Both have adhd. I do not. We were always scrambling to get to school on time and being late stresses me. It made no sense because they were dressed and ready to go but it still seemed to take 10 minutes just to get out the door and into the car. I finally figured out that for me, when it is time to leave, I get up and go. They can not do that. I started telling them it was time to go ten minutes before I wanted to leave. By doing that, we were all in the car and ready to pull out of the driveway on time. As a non brain, I may never understand why it takes so long to get in the car. But I don’t need to. I just need to know they need that time and adjust the schedule accordingly.
I used to get yelled at a lot, exactly for this. It seems like a good idea to start them getting ready earlier. Maybe set an alarm that dings when it's time to go to get their attention. I don't know, I wish I or my family could have experimented with some of the tips here, maybe they would have worked
Joanna Myers I learned very early on that they could not “see” time like I could. So I have alarms set on my phone essentially every 15 minutes so they can be aware of time passing. Each alarm rings to a different song so they can tell by the song where in their morning routine they should be. They now know that when the Castle theme song plays they need to be doing coats and shoes and heading for the car. And when Miracles happen plays, they should be in the car with seatbelts on. It has really helped them.
Reading your comment made me so happy 😭 it’s wonderful how much of an effort you make to help them and provide structure for them. It’s so easy for ADHD kids (and adults lol) to feel discouraged by so consistently not being able to get out the door on time, so seeing you actively trying to create routines that work for them makes me such a happy brain!! 👍
NUGGET!!!!!!! So cool I didn’t know NUGGET has ADHD I feel adhd representation in video games has gotten better Say hi from the adhd comunity to gtlive
Timing how long it actually takes to get to an appointment, including parking and walking in, was a huge help. Also my daughter invented "mommy time", in which she started telling me she had to be places before the start time so she would be late even if I, the chauffeur, went back 3 times for things I forgot. Hint: if you do this, use a multiple of 5 minutes. Your ADHDer will catch on if you tell them practice starts at 4:33.,
I used to do this for my dad. We both have adhd so it helped both of us. were were still late but never as bad. Now my husband does this for me... dang ADHD
Ok Good Idea, but seriously how do you deal with the mixture of "CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST TELL ME THE WRONG TIME SO I MIGHT ACTUALLY GET THERE ON TIME?!"(I just think that😅) and "Seriously you would lie to me just to make yourself more comfortable?!" And then going into resistance because you feel manipulated😅 because I think that's kind of an issue for me😅
@@vanessawinkelmann7288 I tend to put things in my calendar as 30mins earlier than when I need to be there. If it's a 30min trip, I need to leave at LEAST 1hr before. Usually, I run 15min behind... but still get there on time. Usually 😅.
"Its not your fault, but it is your responsibility" So true. My high school guidance counselor was the first to point out to me that being late is viewed as disrespectful. To me, I never saw it as disrespect, it was just life for me. To this day, I'm either 30 minutes early (and bored) becasue I plan ahead or 5 minutes late. No in between. Reminds me of a quote from a movie called The Climb: "It's not about being perfect, it's about taking responsibility for your actions" Let's work together as Brains to learn how to be more effective and show those around us that we love them! Thank you for all you do!
Your videos have helped me so much. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 13. I'm now 19 years old, and I realized that I haven't actually understood what my ADHD was. I knew that I had trouble being attentive and had poor time management, but I had so many other problems that I thought was just because of me being dumb, incompetent or insensitive. Your videos have helped me to recognize that most of the things I struggle with are because of my ADHD, and I've been able to be more compassionate with myself since. Thank you so much for your channel and the help you've provided to so many people, myself included
I'm 52 and (because both of my kids were diagnosed in the past 3 years (20 and 23 now)) I got diagnosed last September. It's been such a year and finding this channel has been a lifesaving Godsend! I had NO idea that the reason I did the things I do is because of figuring out coping mechanisms for myself. I watch these videos and read the comments and realize that I am not the ONLY ONE who feels dumb or incompetent because I forgot to do something or misplaced something important. Over the years I've developed techniques (I should buy stock in PostIt!) and have multiple calendar and phone alarms so that I don't miss things. I also keep notes on my phone for groceries (that way when I think of something we need, I just put it down). I also have learned that when I park in the garage for work, I need to put the car's location in my phone - something like "3rd floor, right off elevator, halfway down on the left" just so I don't wander the garage for literally HOURS (yes, this has happened!) because I forgot where I parked. Thank you Jess.
Hi, if you don’t mind me asking how did you find out and get diagnosed with ADHD? I’m 13 right now and I’m really struggling, but my fam doesn’t want to hear anything about In cuz I’m ‘great in school so everything’s fine’ 😑
Amy Johnson you can have ADHD and still do well in school. Having good or bad grades does not determine if you have it. What makes you think you might have ADHD?
Rebecca Fife I know that good grades don’t mean anything, but where I live people don’t know a lot about ADHD and most think it’s just little boys being hyper. I had really bad focus and time skills since forever and my family have always teased me about it, but it started getting in my way quite a lot in the last few years (school got a bit harder and now I often have to catch up on my own, I don’t finish chores/assignments cuz I get distracted or I forget them altogether, i always fidget/doodle to help me listen in school, i often get distracted by things others don’t even seem to notice and i can get overstimulated by loud environments etc.), but I just don’t know how to make my family see I’m struggling 😕
You spoke about using a playlist to help keep track of when to do certain tasks. I sing in the shower to keep track of time because there are no clocks in there. 1st song = soaking 2nd song = shampoo and applying conditioner 3rd song = bodywash and brushing teeth 4th song = rinsing out the conditioner and using a facial cleanser, sometimes I use a pumice stone during this song Some days require a 5th song. If I reach 6 songs, I know I've spent too long and I'm going to be late.
I recently put a clock in the bathroom. It's got big, high contrast numbers and hands so I can read it without my glasses, and I installed it high up so I can see it OVER the shower curtain. The only real downside is that I see it in the mirror when I'm brushing my teeth.
@@NC-gm2lb not just neurotypicals, my ex boyfriend is autistic and whilst he tried to be supportive he was never able to understand why I couldn't be on time for things and it caused a lot of friction between us
I don’t know if this is ADD related but the best thing I ever did for my mornings was buy an alarm clock with a wake-up light that gets gradually brighter for 30 minutes before the alarm. After decades of chronic lateness for work, now I’m frequently one of the first people in the office. Because of the light, I’m not shocked awake with no idea where I am, who I am, or what that loud annoying beeping noise is (I used to lash out until it stopped somehow and then I’d go back to sleep). I rarely jump out of bed but now it’s a choice.
I actually have a routine that starts playing the news at my wake up time, so that it gets me ruminating on current events and I can't fall back asleep even if I wanted to due to the adrenaline, lol. I also do the lightbulb thing as well. Both make it nearly impossible for me to not get up for work on time.
I was diagnosed almost a year ago at the age of 21, i felt my world collapsing on me. Getting into trouble at school, not completing school works, doing poorly for tests, late for everything and i mean everything. Your videos have helped me tremendously, thank you for making such a huge impact on my life! You've earned a loyal follower here!
I feel you. I was just diagnosed at 23. I was always smart, could pull off the really good grades but I was constantly late, my assignments weren’t done on time and I “zoned out” during class (unless I was hyperfixated on that subject). I am so angry for none of my teachers noticing.
Honestly my dog kinda helps, I set different alarms for different things and she’s learned them (by herself) so I hear the alarm and I see her do the routine (she’s normally very hyped about it) so I can’t ignore it or she will literally pounce on me...till I do what I’m supposed to be doing. Edit-typos.
I don't know what I would do with it my cat. She knows I have a really hard time waking up. When the alarm goes off, she comes and purrs next to my pillow while I hit the snooze button repeatedly. She helps me not fall asleep again in between snoozed and actually wake up gently.
Every flippin' point in this reminded me of something from when I was younger. Things I still have trouble with today. Being recently diagnosed as a dude in his 30s, this video helped explain a bit about me I couldn't necessarily put into words before. Thank you for what you do
Dude, me too. When she talked about the cues, I suddenly remembered how as a kid, my dad would put on the opening song from The Goonies soundtrack and I had to get dressed before the song was done. And it worked!
I've developed a strategy to pull me away from something to get me motivated. I call it "1, 2, 3, go", basically as soon as you realize you have to get going, give yourself 3 seconds to sit and then get up IMMEDIATELY on go. Works everytime.
I just discovered your channel and I could almost cry. I’ve never been diagnosed with ADHD, but your videos resonate with me so much that I’ve decided I need to see a professional. I’ve felt so defective because I can’t be on time and can’t seem to motivate myself, but with an ADHD perspective, it makes so much more sense why I’m like this. Thank you for your videos.
Every time I watch a video of yours I get emotional. I have always struggled to do seemingly “simple” things, and hearing you talk about ADHD makes me feel seen. I’m working on finding ways to get diagnosed, which is a struggle in itself, but your videos have already helped me acknowledge my patterns (whether I truly have ADHD or not). Thanks for the work you do 💙
Absolutely the same, I'm 37 and I'm just about to start the process of getting diagnosed - have been procrastinating and putting it off though, of course 😔
I find I need to put my everyday things back in their "spot" so that I'm not panicking to find them in the morning! I've also made myself something like a capsule wardrobe so even if I'm rushed I'll still look presentable!
That is some outstanding advice!! Especially the putting everything back in their spots! My biggest culprit for being late is because I'm desperately ravishing the house trying to find things. 😤
This one was more wonderfully validating than newly educational (for me) because I already do a lot of this stuff. My husband gets so annoyed with timers "always going off" or that I always do the before bed routines and the "cleaning songs" to keep up with the daily chores, but it's honestly what allows me to function. It was so awesome to see the things I'm doing aren't "crazy" but instead legitimate coping mechanisms. Thanks for your videos that are always so informative, warmhearted, and humorous
MY HUSBAND SAID I WAS TO CONTROLLING DOMINATING BECAUSE STAY ON TOP KEEP IT SIMPLE KEPT ME SANE AND FUNCTIONING RUN WHOLE HOUSEHOLD....ONCE IT GETS BEHIND MORE THAN 10 MIN HOUSEWORK SEVERELY BORING IMPOSSIBLE PILES BEGIN....
I don't have ADHD myself but stumbled across your channe. I've actually been able to use your advice to help me better organise my own life, so thank you. Also as a 27 yr old I don't think I really knew how little I understood about people with ADHD so thanks again for enlightening us all on what It's like.
My friends have joked about starting my funeral 15 minutes late. Those who know me will get it and laugh. Those who don't know me all that well won't get the joke. Morbid, I know, but I'm 45 years old and this is what I'm known for. I'm good at a lot of things and go out of my way to do extra to make up for being late (which then gets frustrating bc noone notices the extra and highlights the tardiness). I'm better than I used to be (15 min instead of 45) and routines have helped significantly with that. I have a morning and evening routine and have padded both with an extra 30 minutes just in case. Now I get judged for being inflexible bc I live and die by them, but hey, choose your battles, right? My Mom used to tease me for making a list to do everything from chores to cheerleading saying she could get 3 things done by the time I finished my list. I finally told her if I didn't make my list I wouldn't get 3 things done. I also put time frames (literal times like 2:35-2:50) beside the items on my list to keep me on task. In reality, I think my list just helped me know what to do next. 15 minutes of planning made for a much more productive process and prevented a lot of "but first" episodes. (I need to do the dishes, but first, let me see if there are any left in any other rooms, but first let me put this sweater in the laundry hamper, but first, let me empty the trash can in the bathroom,... and nothing actually gets done) Sorry for the lengthy ramble, but this video is so relatable to my life. It's nice to know I'm not alone, and even though it is always my responsibility to be on time, it's not always my fault when I'm not.
I relate to this so much. It's sort of a crippling feeling for me. But I'm looking happily forward to diagnosing my mental health impairments and start working towards a better life.
Bruuuuuh I’m showing up to my own funeral fifteen minutes late 😂 Also ramble is good! Get those thoughts out and make yaself feel better! Good luck to you and your future endeavors 👍👍👍
I can see a lot of things I can do to start helping the woman I love. There’s no reason I can’t help her/ do myself these things for her in the morning so she is ready. She’s worth it
If, like me, you have grown frustrated with post-its that come unstuck or fall off or fade, the next level up from post-it notes is masking tape or painter's tape. You can write your reminder right on it in sharpie, it sticks way better than a post it but also won't wreck a painted wall when it's time to come off, and comes in at least a few different colours. Plus you can use it to stick things in handy places! Post it that says 'don't forget to bring forms to dr's' by the front door is good, actually sticking the forms next to the door is better.
I am always early. I am ussualy half an hour early at school due to fear of being late. Also personal tip have a hair brush and deoderant in a bag then forgetting is not the End of the world has helped me When I forget.
I have a small fabric bin inside my coffee table with a hairbrush, ponytail holders, and deodorant for just that reason. I also keep our shoes and socks in the drawers underneath our TV stand so that nobody has to run back to their bedroom at the last minute. My son, my daughter, and I all wear the same size socks, so I buy neutral ones that any of us can grab and throw on as we race out the door. (That doesn't mean they're boring, though -- the hippo socks are very much "first come, first serve," which inspires us all to try to get to the sock drawer early.)
Boredom, YES! I didn't know anyone else felt this way. I recall a couple of times getting to church way too early since my husband and I went in the same car for a change and he miscalculated the start time. And I was sooo bored for those 30 extra minutes before folks started arriving. And I realized yesterday at work I get bored with conversations that I can't relate to. Today I was on time for church for a change since I changed up my night and morning routines to make getting ready a priority, and that was a major win for me. Noticing something is a priority is another area I'd like to learn more about too. Thank you for all you do!
I had a therapist from EAP (Employee Assistance Program) recommend your videos. For not being to work on time. I wish I had seen this sooner. They are very helpful. I'm 40 years old with no kids so getting out of the door is an issue. Thank you so much!
🐕 This is Sammy he thinks you are, dazzlingly gorgeous, fantastically brilliant, a flawless masterpiece, stronger then you think, rockin' it, and that your friends are blessed to have you!!!!!!! Love you all, keep laughing, being kind, and rockin' your awesome self!!!!!! HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY EVERYONE, LOVE YOU GUYZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😘😘😘😘😘😘💕💕💕😘💕😘💕💕💕💕💕💕😘😘😘💕😘💕😘💕💕
Absolutely! I used to think that I was broken or something was wrong with me when stuff that had worked before would suddenly stop working! One thing that has helped me, is having a few different strategies, and then rotating through them. By the time I've been through 2 or 3 different ways of doing things the first way seems exciting again 💖
I am constantly telling my husband that I have to come up with new strategies regularly because inevitably after a while they don't work. It's a constant work in progress. Sadly I don't think he quite understands that. It was so validating to her her say this too. I am not the only one!
Thank you for making videos! You have made me realize I’m not just a dysfunctional/troubled brain. But a brilliant person who thinks differently!! PLEASE keep making videos!! One thing I’ve found that’s helped me is I have multiple alarms on my phone. The first one says “Good Morning, Wake Up.” 10 min later the next one says “UR going to be LATE.” 10 min later the next one says “Leave in 30min!!” And then 20 minutes later the last alarm says “GET IN THE CAR!!!” (And I can only snooze that one once before I’m actually really late). But I’ve learnt to use the alarms (and the sounds correspond to the message portrayed also) to trigger the feeling in the message so I understand what I should be doing at that time. It works quite well for me!! I’ve also accounted for my pet “cat cuddling time” in my wake up time in the alarms. I know I’m going to do it, so I might as well make sure there’s cat/gaming time allocated in my alarm time also! Lol!!
My biggest advice for getting out the door, keep a tin by the door with keys wallet and anything small you're going to need for the day. You can put what you want in it the night before, if you can remember, lol!
i made myself a few routine cards. it contains step by step actions i that need to do. and place these cards where they are needed. example: just arrived at the office routine (30mins): 1. unpack bag 2. open pc 3. create work tasks list 3a. check for upcoming meetings 3b. check emails for me etc... i also have a get-ready-for-work routine (1hour) and a just-got-home routine
I just downloaded it and am VERY excited to give it a go. I think it's got the potential to be an actual life changer. Thank you for creating such an insurmountably helpful service. If you'd like, I'd be happy to come back and report my thoughts and feedback after I give it a shot for a few weeks...?
Your channel is a miracle to me. I've learned so much and I've only watched your TedTalk and two videos on here. I was diagnosed with ADD as a kid but I never really learned much about it beyond "take your pills when you need to". To be fair, though, I probably forgot or wasn't listening if any of it was ever being explained to me. I have another friend who is hyperactive and he's as far as I can tell living his best life by being on top of all of it (meds, a schedule, etc.). Maybe your channel can help me develop the skills to work with my mind and live a higher quality life. Thank you so much!
I swear this channel has given me more validation, actual help and encouragement than therapy (but please go to therapy). You're doing a huge service iexactly the way we need it. Thank you so much!
My alarm list is about to get crazy! Welcome back to school, my kids and i aim for early so we can be on time. I saved a link to the app, when my kids get older i will be using it so i can stop being the alarm for everything. Your videos have been eye opening for how my daughter sees and interacts with the world, and im working to get myself evaluated, i can function most days but i get caught off guard by bad days and it can spiral into a few bad days if im not careful.
I love this video and it is so true. I am always so anxious about being late that I aim to get to work at 7am instead of 8:30am. The best part is I get to ride my motorcycle to work when there is less traffic (infinitely more fun) and I can get some work done before the distraction of other colleagues arrive! I get more done in that peaceful time than I do for the rest of the day. Though.. I normally get to work at 7:30am instead of 7am... but at least I'm still 1hour early. Thanks for the great videos Jess!
This video couldn't of come at a better time, because I have always been late for things, but just yesterday I was just feeling so frustrated that I was never able to get ready in time. Especially with school starting again soon, I think that this will be very helpful. Thank you!
I hate being late, so I always aim for early. Some people say too early, but it works for me and I get my incentive - quiet time at the office or chrochet time at the train station! I'm finding my rewards slowly. Thanks for another awesome video Jessica!
Wow this explains why I only do things when I have a brand new routine or new cleaning supplies new outfits so I can clean the closet. I rearrange my whole house every month bc I get sick of it so soon. I have many mental health disorder as most do but I didn't think so Much was linked to ADHD. Eye opener
Hello Jess your channel has helped me so much over the years, when I was diagnosed with ADHD I truly thought no one understood what we go through everyday and when people say that ADHD is no big deal and just an excuse it really ticks me off but when I came here i felt understood for the first time. Unfortunately I have hit a roadblock that I am having trouble with. So basically no matter how many times I try to explain to my parents about how much this affects me they refuse to listen, and educate themselves. I was wondering if you had any advice for me to somehow make them understand ADHD fully. Thank you for everything over the years! 😊❤️
I always work a really long shift on Saturday, so up I’ve devised a special 12 hour playlist for the day that always starts with the 1985 Queen Love Aid concert and with a constant shifting of songs and variety my brain has adapted to know which group of songs will play at what time, and culminating in my favorite band playing in the last couple of hours of my shift to help get me across the finish line. Having the playlist really helps because I’m not tempted to constantly look at my phone or find stuff to listen to that day, and it helps act as a timer to finish stuff before the next section. :)
In my family growing up (in which I am about 90% sure I was raised by two adhd parents), we called it "Charland Time". My dad moved so slow and was always running late and my mom was never ready. Lol! Now, my man is slow moving (we call it "sloth speed") and I am never as prepared as i should be or forget something. ..we are quite the pair lol Thank you for all you do, your videos are suuper helpful to my family! For myself, my kids, and even extended family ("ooooh! Thaaat's why my mom did this....it is all is so clear now"). Much love, sister!
If I don't leave my meds, vitamins, etc out in the open... yeah, they don't get taken. "Nothing is ever the last solution" THANK YOU It's not fun going through life feeling broken. Thanks for what you do- only found your channel yesterday, but have been struggling for 90% of my life (diagnosed at 3 in 91) Thanks for helping us see ourselves, and helping others see us as well
7:15 thank you for adding that on! Feel like it’s necessary to remind myself of that because I always feel bad when I find a strategy that really works for me and then just give up on it because it gets boring. It’s good to know where that comes from!
Hi Friend! I wanted to thank you for all of the work you do! I’ve discovered your channel very recently and already it has been very eye opening for me. I’ve spent my entire life being told/believing that ADHD was just an excuse for being lazy or that it isn’t a real problem but you’ve helped show me that everything I’ve been told in life was wrong and you’ve helped point me in the right direction so I can improve my life and help the people I care about. Your videos are amazing and I hope you keep doing such great work for not just those with ADHD but for those who don’t understand the disorder or don’t have it at all. You are a blessing 🙏🏻!
Ive Always struggled so much with beeing on time and getting tasks done. Over time ive managed to put together methods that work for me and with my fantastical brain instead of trying to fit in to a "normal" frame or by applying a method that is "supposed to work" for seemingly everyone else. I write a schedule on mondays in a bulletjournal planning My tasks for the week, like "wednesday; do dishes, take down christmastree and fuel car" and if I get hinders i can move it forward or backwards a day or two, it really motivates me becouse checking it of a list gives me satisfaction. The same goes for another Tool I use, for certain tasks(..well alot of tasks) I write additional lists, like cleaning the kitchen, I can write like; "throw trash, wipe counter, put away dishes, vaccum. Etc" and also for shopping, otherwise I will get a ton of stuff on impulse becouse ive had some brilliant idea in the store and forget what I actually need.. Ill also make sure to put rewards on the lists when im done! Like getting snacks from the store or planning in tv/fun things in the schedule as like checkpoints. Dont know of it works for everyone but lists really makes me more productive! ⭐🙏🏻❤️
Sometimes fear of consequences works ok for getting me to work/school on time, but i definitely always struggle with fun/social things. I usually text my friend “sorry, will be 15 minutes late because of who i am as a person” (unfortunately this is not professional enough to use when late for work 😂)
I LOVE you for this!!! You’re the first person I found after being diagnosed as an adult and you have helped me to understand myself sooooo much more and to be able to forgive my self for my “deficiencies” for lack of a better word. Thank God for you!
I've just been diagnosed with ADHD after years of being told I may have autism, I also have dyspraxia too. I'm a bit shocked but I'm reading and watching your channel and wow it makes sense. Right now im supposed to be doing housework. I'm so happy to have answers I'm 32 and struggled a lot. So yes I have ADHD x
I just got diagnosed with ADHD at 20 years old. None of it made sense until I found your channel. Thank you for helping me learn more about myself and how to cope.
“It’s not our fault, but it is our responsibility”. I can’t describe just how much of a game changer this phrase is. I felt the guilt and anxiety and avoidance draining out of me when she phrased it like that. 🥰
I’m constantly late to so many things like work, social events, and exercising. I always chalked it up to procrastination and I never really considered it being from ADHD. I always kind of forget that I have it cause it’s just been in my life for so long that it’s normal and since I do forget I feel like no one else understands it so thank you for bringing this to my attention.
I was about 20 minute early for work last week and it only happened because I started getting ready about an hour and a half before it was time to leave 😂 it made me realize that I have severely underestimated how much time it takes to get ready and that getting ready was really boring for me! I’m working on it, and videos like this have helped me realize how I can get it together quicker! Now I have a nighttime alarm on my phone that says “pack work bag” and i stress over my next day’s outfit after I take my nightly shower- instead of in the morning . I am still working on lunch prep lol
Thank you so much for your channel. I love it. I'm very forgetful and O was always late until I put alarms on my cellphone. It helps me keep track of time. I get up two hours before I go to work. I have like ten alarms only to get at my work at 8 am. I aslo have to wake up my children and help them get ready for school. It is very challenging
I recently found your channel, and I'm so far enjoying it a lot. Some great info and very well presented! As for this one, #2 has been my thing forever. I have to be somewhere at 3:00? It's, what, maybe 15 minutes away (probably more like 17 or 18, but isn't everything "about 15 minutes away"?) Me at 2:45: "Well, I better get going." By the time I get up, check phone/keys/wallet, grab my coat and laptop (after I shut it down and put it in the bag and wrap up the cable to put that into the bag), walk out of the office or my apartment, get to my car, plug the phone into the car and start the music app, open the map app, then get going ... I'm already 7 minutes late, even if there were somehow magically no traffic on the way thereto. With traffic and then finding a parking spot at the destination, double checking everything before I get out of the car, walking to the building, finding the meeting place ... I'm lucky if I'm not less than 15 minutes late. Every. Dang. Time. I've had to learn to give myself at least an extra 30 minutes before my "I have to leave" time. Same with bedtime. Need to get up at 7am. I want to get 8 hours of sleep. That used to mean, "Well, it's 11:00. Better go to bed!" By the time I change into pajamas, set the coffee maker to go off in the morning (which usually requires dumping the grounds from the morning coffee and cleaning out the carafe because I didn't do that earlier), brush my teeth, fill the water bottle to put on the bedside table, take the laundry off the bed, set my alarm, etc., it's now 11:20-11:30 before I'm actually in bed. And because it usually takes 20-30 minutes to actually fall asleep after lying down, my 11:00 bedtime ends up being more like midnight. So, goodbye 8 hours of sleep.
Ha ha ha out the door on time. I was late for my own birth and will probably be late to my funeral and have been late for everything in between except for a gig, I have been late for rehearsal, but gig night is usually nerve racking enough on its own. I have a checklist on the door. Keys, wallet, phone (pants with pockets), important papers, hat. AC set, Stove off, Dog watered.
Thank you so much for this! I had to go to a program today, and I actually made it there 10 minutes early with the post its, launch pad and not running around repeating a long list of to dos over and over again and being mad if anybody talks to me, because I'll forgot. I even managed to eat something. Of course I was sooo anxious, that I wasn't good for anything else before, but this is a first step.
"If I'm there early I'll surprise people" is what I say on the days I try really hard bur only surprise people by being 15 minutes late instead of 1 whole hour late.
Definitely happy I've found your channel! (It was mentioned on a Bethan Leadly video regarding her ADHD), Anyhow, your mix of beauty and intelligence is just out of this world! Honestly, I just can't get over on how gorgeous you are! Have you ever thought of becoming a model? Your smile can definitely light a room!
Finally! Something I can share with family and friends to explain one of my life’s most recurring issues :) thanks so much for sharing, and awesome that Brili was made and that theyre developing for adults! Sign me up for a usertest :) if i wasnt so burned out, I would volunteer to help with the research and design :)
when u started talking about incentives and how we don’t get “piles of dopamine” i started crying because this makes all my hardship with starting and finishing even the most mundane tasks make sense. thank you for ur content it’s helping this brain know it self much better.
Been watching your videos for a couple months now and I can't tell you how much less lonely you've made me feel in my own ADHD. I was diagnosed as an adult but struggled my whole life. Getting out of the house on time is one of my biggest struggles (I'm a Realtor) These tips were so reassuring- thank you!!
Somethings that often helps me be on time: 1) have 3 "get ready routines"- "leave now" (the only things you should do are put on clothes and grab your wallet and go), "short time" (my partner calls it my 5 minute routine. Wash face, moisturize, clothes, grab bag, grab a pre-made snack, leave), and "forever" (do whatever you want to do, makeup, pick out 3 outfits, etc. Set a timer for 30 minutes before you need to leave so you can start the short time routine.) 2) I look up how long it will take me to get to where I'm going and have the maps app on so I can see my ETA. If the ETA gets closer than 15 minutes before the start of the thing, I have to get out the door, now. It keeps me on time most of the time.
What I've found helps with leaving on time. Is to set my clocks to be 10 minutes off. The oven says 3:40 it's actually 3:30. But I get that "oh no I'm late!" feeling even though I'm not. The "I'm late!" feeling is what jump-starts the rush to leave. If I see a clock at 3:30 I'm like oh I have time. (does something that takes more than 10 minutes and is now late) Adjusting to the new time and remembering it's 10 minutes off doesn't happen. Cause I forget and just read the numbers in front of me at that moment. By the time I remember I'm already getting ready to go and don't have to worry about going back to being distracted from leaving.
@@ienekevanhouten4559 I had it at seven minutes before. But our power went out and the roommate switched it to 10. Which meant it still worked cause I wasn't sure how far off they set it
The thing is I’ll be aware of the real time regardless of if that’s the only clock I look at or not. I’m always gonna remember that I set the clock to be wrong to trick myself
I’ve alwaysssss been late. Even was born past my due date! Something I do to help me in the mornings when I struggle severely with motivation to get up and get ready, is taking my makeup/hair products with me. I’ll get the basics done, or whatever I can before it’s time to leave and bring the rest in a makeup bag or tote. Then when I get to work, an appointment, etc I can use whatever time is remaining to finish up in the car!!
