This is really interesting to watch as a woman, because it’s so similar to the self help advice I hear for women. Be in shape, have your own life and goals, be interesting, work on your insecurities, etc. Men and woman are very alike when you really think about it.
I've been single for a very long time, just turned 30, handsome, short but not out of shape could use more muscle mass. fully bald,, I shave it all clean, have a mustache. don't know what to do, no luck with women, gave up on dating apps/sites, very lonely, working towards goals, BJJ, work out semi-regularly, have a direction to go in life but it's taking a long time, very difficult to cope knowing mad people out there are with each other and im just alone, avoid drinking and bars and stuff, i go to shows
"Be able to regulate your nervous system" is so important! But then if you need to regulate it too much it probably means you need to review your partner choice or work on yourself first.
Yep the ex I just broke up with was very emotionally draining and brought the absolute worst out of me. I do some times find it hard to regulate my emotions and she knew how to really set me off then turn it back on me.
"Out-regulate your partner. Wow. The notion that the currency of value, both for the man AND the woman, in a relationship comes down to having self control and self regulation. How simple, and how challenging, This is a true assessment of the nature of masculine potency and frame, it seems to me.
Love this man. All fantastic points. I especially love the final one and especially your point on interacting with women with no agenda. I think this is so important. And something I believe women can really sense and feel. And I think an unspoken and underrated benefit of shadow and healing work. I've found that the more I do the more I just come to see women for who they are. As genuine, unique and beautiful human beings. It might sound like a strange thing to say but I've got to place where I just genuinely love and admire women and enjoy interacting with them and getting to know them. I used to be so nervous around women. Now I feel a lot more confident. And I sense women can feel it. Of course ill flirt and have fun with a women I find attractive but it's not my main goal. I just approach them with genuine care and interest. It's such an simple yet important difference.
12:03 What's really debilitating is being all of these things - a gym goer, a well educated high earning person. And the avoidant partner still is like "ehhhh". Honestly I'm getting the "Just divorce her and move on with your life" message loud and clear lately hey.
For women you come across who may be disregulated, first check in to see what’s happening in her world and if she is trying to resolve it. She may have too much on her plate and find out too late. Some women are problematic while some women need more support and likely boundaries. I found myself in chaos because I lacked boundaries. Too bad for my ex. He didn’t support me after a ton happened, he left after a time in which I lost a relative. I believe he is a dismissive avoidant and went to extremes. It triggered a bit b/c his reaction was surprisingly poor. I wasn’t my best but wasn’t too bad, but I noticed it and sought help. I have since fixed this….can’t be with a man who runs in moments like that particularly when there are tough times. We’re bound to have issues. Just double check guys; you’ll know if it’s what’s on her plate or if she is the one creating problems everywhere.
Great points. I'm applying those points as best as I can to suit the framework that is me....Unfortunately it's always a question of "Chemistry" "spark" "charisma" that keeps things forming into some sort of relationship.
Thanks. I've been doing these things most of my life. I resonate with the shotgun approach 😅 (notice the motorcycle in my profile). Where I've gone wrong though has been continuing this mysterious kind of frame well into my long term relationships, which only leaves my partner lacking real connection.
I appreciate men who look after themselves mentally emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually. "One trick loser ponies" who have no desire for growth are a waste of time. I love men that are in touch with their feminine energy who are also standing in healthy masculine energy. Where are the men like you? Can't find high value / attractive , interesting men like you anywhere. Excellent videos ❤
Ask yourself, are you a Queen? Do you deserve to be treated like a queen. Do you have that Motherly, caring vibe Can you be that pillar for your man if anything goes south? And then you'll find your "the one" man
Guys, get the audio book, My Secret Garden. Women get bored with sex if you’re not trying new things. And the book will blow your mind. You’re welcome. 😏
I have just purchased your book on kindle, I have enjoyed listening to some of your thoughts - many validate my own experience as an older man. All the best
Paradoxical is a good one. I wear athleisure, but will talk about the extreme metal concert I went to, and nerd out on Godzilla and new balance sneakers.
How do you square the bit about "confronting fears" eg being able to ask for phone numbers or whatever, with the expectation-free communication you mention near the end?
Two principles I've heard: "expectationless communication" and "confidently move the conversation in a sexual direction" (not from you) seem to be pretty contradictory. Is your advice here just use expectationless comms as practice for later?
I notice that the expectationless communication leads to flirting if the woman gives cues, but I do see the contradiction. It is the ALPHA channels that promote the expectation of kissing on a first date for example. I think the Sigma approach is balanced.
9:00. This an interesting theory. Rich Cooper has the opposite theory, something along the lines of, 'women don't care about your journey. They wait at the finish line and fuck the winners.' My experience has always been the latter, but not all women are the same
I'm sure some women will take the risk if they see the finish line as being close enough. I don't think the two viewpoints necessarily have to contradict each other.
Hack: a quick solution that solves a problem, but does not solve it particularly well, or in a particularly good way. Yeah, it's working now, but I just did a hack.
