Kaci Nicole it was perfect for this season! I know while I do want to marry and have children and I feel like the only single person I know, I am trying to learn from this season. Some days are harder than others, but I am thankful you reminded me of the freedom I have in this season that I don’t have in a serious relationship. Sometimes a social media break also helps when I feel alone in my singleness. I know when a relationship is supposed to happen, things will be very different. I really appreciate this video and your perspective!
Ah I'm so glad you liked it too! I'm with you - I think it's totally possible to have both the desire for marriage and the desire to enjoy the gifts of the current season. Also the social media breaks are a great point! Thanks for watching 😊
🤔💭 It reminds me of the story of 2 artists, each tasked with portraying "God's peace" (contentment) in a painting 🖼️.... 🎨🖌️One artist chose to portray this concept with a glassy-surfaced, serene pond in the foreground, with a family of ducks swimming across it, and in the background, majestic rolling hills & bright, sunny sky.... 🎨🖌️The other artist painted a dark, stormy background of a huge, roaring waterfall rushing over a treacherous mountain cliff with sharp-edged rocks and violently crashing into the troubled waters below it. _But_ in the foreground, a small tree, sprouting from the banks of the troubled waters, timidly stretched over the violent, crashing turbulence, and in one of its tiny branches was nestled a meager bird nest, with the momma bird resting atop her fragile eggs, keeping them safe & warm.... 🕊️ God's peace (or contentment) doesn't _usually_ calm all the chaos around us or remove the many potential sources of anxiety from our midst. Rather, when we seek His face & submit ourselves & our circumstances to Him, He grants us the grace of His peace _in the midst_ of our troubles. 🙏🏼 → ☝🏼→ 🙌🏼 → 💪🏼
Thank you for sharing this! Lately, I've been feeling guilty about having a desire for marriage and thought it would be "glorify God more" if I didn't have that desire because I should be "content" in my singleness. More than ever before my desire for marriage is stronger. Maybe it is because I'm getting older or maybe because God is saying that I'm ready. Also, one of the dangers for me as a believer is listening to the lies of the enemy who says that I'm unworthy of being loved. It's an ongoing battle. Please pray for me as I navigate this life stage of singleness.
Just wanted to add that you are so so worthy of love, Jesus died for you!! You think he would have done that if he didn't think you were worth more than life itself?? You are amazing and never ever doubt it!!❤️❤️All of you!!!
I'm 62 and never married but always wanted to be. What helped me with timelines is Romans 12:2. It's the world telling us we should be married by a certain age and this will have us in bondage. Thanks for this message.
As an older Christian single, who feels I have pretty much be heard every singles talk given by often very well meaning youth leaders growing up, pairs and other Christian brothers and sisters, I have to say I'm so glad you have learned this bit as early as you have and are passing it on. I honestly am so pleased that you are sharing what you are about contentment, that it's okay to want to be married. And yet still focus on finding out from Good what His plans and purposes are for your life and allowing Him to change you to be ready for them. I really hope that many young women will hear your message and they will feel more understood and less condemned.
For me the most helpful part of the video was about forgetting the number as I think everyone sets out their life goals to achieve by a certain age. The truth is our concept of time is completely different to God's
This helped me too except I had already started doing this before I had watched the video. It is nice to see that this is something that helps others too and, like Kaci said, contentment is not a destination. Sometimes I wonder if doing the things, like forgetting the number, really help when I come to a rough spot but I come back to a season of contentment and see that it truly does help and seeing others like Kaci and you say that this helps reassures me and empowers me that I am on the right track and I'm not alone.
I just got out of my engagement and was with my boyfriend for 8 years. Grew up in a Christian home and I'm so thankful I found your videos. Its been almost 1 year since we separated due to personal reasons. Knowing why God made us step away from marriage gave me so much more time to think about what I want and need in my life. I'm thankful and grateful for what he has done. Now I'm in a chapter of learning of singleness which I never really understood as a teen. I'm seeing the beauty in the time I get to learn on my own.
Honestly I know this is last year. But this hits me in so many areas. I am 26 and never dated ( mostly rejected ) Its tough being single and trying to be content with singleness. Weddings make it hard even though I do enjoy them. Being alone can make it worse but this video helps a lot and thank you
Your ETA analogy isn't cheesy in the least -- it's brilliant! At 43, I often feel I've lost and continue to lose critical times with my partner (if he exists) and that every day I wait for his arrival is another day I lose with him. But it's true that when I stop focusing on that sense of loss and shift my focus to things I enjoy, I no longer feel that impending sense of doom or loss. Instead, it's me enjoying time with dog, family, or friends. It's time for me to focus on my self-development, a book I want to read, a hike I want to do, or a run I want to enjoy. Thank you, Kaci! :)
I’ve watched so many videos on this topic, and yours is the only one that honestly made me feel better because all the others made me feel like I mustn’t desire marriage anymore for my husband to come along❤️
The desire for marriage is biblical, not wrong! Of course all desires need to be submitted to our ultimate desire for Christ, but the desire in and of itself isn't wrong, and ridding yourself of it is not a requirement to be "awarded" with marriage. I have been made to feel that way before too and it's simply not true. I'm glad this video was helpful 😊
GIRL, I subscribed after this video. YOU. GET. IT. I can tell-your authenticity is palpable! And I loved absolutely everything about this video!! The Matt Chandler quote was spot-on, and yes! God gave Adam Eve before the Fall! So important to realize! This really spoke to me and was so encouraging! I’m 25 now and have never had a boyfriend, and I just feel like you are my soul sister hearing you describe your experience with such empathy and solid advice. Thank you so much for posting this! I will definitely be sharing with my other single friends!
Aw haha that means so much to hear! 😊 Thank you so much. Also love that we have people out there who get the experiences we've had and I'm so glad this video connected us in that. Thanks for sharing with your friends too! 💛
She does NOT *get it*. Because married people *DON’T GET IT*. Why even talk about your PAST experience like it’s a CURRENT understanding - you DON’T. Matt Chandler DOESN’T get it. That’s why he and she got married. Because singleness is NOT what they pretend it is, or else they wouldn’t have got married.
@@missNCW Lol, she met her husband in her late 20s, got married close to 30. I don't think she was married when making this video and I don't understand why you diminish her struggles just because her circumstances changed.
So helpful. I began to believe that I had to be content and say “alright, I’m content. Where is it?” But it’s good to know that the desire is healthy as long as it’s not consuming and distracting from where God is leading me. I’m so thankful I have time to grow to be who I need to be because I need to grow before I can fully invest into another human. God is sovereign.
Kaci, I am finding your channel after returning to faith (grew up in the church, but left when I was around 27. Returned at 36.) I am divorced and trusting God for a husband. It has been such a difficult journey of faith to forgive myself for past mistakes and trust God for the future. I found your videos recently and find them to be so encouraging and so kind. Thank you for putting this out into the world.
God bless you! I was engaged and we broke up and I am just learning how to be single and it’s been really tough but also beautiful! And this video is really helpful! I’m going to come back to it a lot
I’m so not even a Christian girl but these videos from Christian girls be hittin. They’re so not the image of Christianity that I saw growing up. Christian people, at least online, seem very real now
You are so SPOT ON!! It’s not always easy to be content with the season we’re currently in. However God has a plan for every one of our lives to prosper and bless us. Props to you for sharing your faith. It’s so encouraging to know that there are strong Godly women out there who truly know Jesus and love Him, and also want to know Him more instead of what this world has to offer. Great video!👍
It's so true! It's easy to doubt He truly desires to bless us when it seems like He isn't in the way we want, but that is the very doubt the enemy first sewed in the Garden. Thank you so much for your encouraging comment!
So good! And timely :) tonight at Bible study, we looked at Genesis 3:16 and also made the connection to 1 Corinthians 7 - “But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows-it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am.” I agree! Whatever state (single or married) God has us in, it’s a gift. I’m praying that Jesus helps me have a more Biblical perspective of singleness.
After watching this Ivan see the blessing of my current season. I’ve dropped a lot of people in my life who were keeping me down and I’m growing into the person I’ve always wanted to be from a space of loving myself rather than a space of self hate. My apartment is nearer and cleaner, I’m healthier, I’m losing weight and also getting really fit. I’m maturing mentally really fast and educating myself on a lot of really cool topics. I’m also getting back into hobbies that I love but never indulged in because I was too focused on being in a relationship. I think I’m still gonna have the longing from time to time but I can see the blessing now
This was so timely for what I am going through right now, and confirmed so many of the feelings I have towards this season of singleness. So thank you!
Hey Kaci :) I just came across your channel recently. I could just say like randomly just clicked on your channel's video and then I start listening to this video and I am right now in the same season of waiting, in my singleness. And this was really very helpful to me and of course it encouraged me on the practical level. You are doing an awesome job. Jesus bless you in abundance from India!!!!!
Thank you so much Kaci. The video is so helpful and wonderful for me and it's just what I needed. I just wish it didn't hurt this much. I went through an incredibly difficult and heartbreaking breakup and only now, after two years, has my heart finally healed. I do not intend to jump into the next relationship that presents itself to me. Thank you.
Wow that was probably one of the best videos I’ve seen on this topic. My friend sent this to me because we’re both in a single season. Love this, thank you so much 💗
this entire video spoke to everything within my singleness that I've been struggling with. this video put so much into perspective thank you so much for sharing.
All your tips are awesome reminders! Especially #3 when you said changes need to happen inside ..that hit home! I'm going through so much spiritually/ emotionally.. I needed this video.. thank you!
Gosh Kaci, I freaking love you. Your videos always have a certain touch to them that brings me peace. Like you've really been there and felt that and understand. You started the video with wanting to speak to our longing. And i didn't know how you would do it but the points you put together here are A1 👌.
Thank you so much! That was so helpful! I definitely feel guilty sometimes about having a desire for marriage or feel like there is something wrong with me and that is why I have not found the guy that God has for me. Thank you so much for talking about those feelings of being single. The most helpful thing that you said was that we cannot control the timetable of each season in our lives, but we can control how we grow in each season. Truly, God will send the one when the time is right. Thank you for reminding me of that!
Thank you for sharing this video I once thought I found the love of my life that that was the person I would marry but I do desire marriage and mayb because I’m getting older but being content is hard I got close to the lord but I’m jusy waiting on him until he’s will be done for the perfect woman. Amen praise the lord
Good video! In this season that I am single I desire the Lord to shape and mold me me into the Godly husband/spiritual leader (as with my future wife). And make it a habit to pray for my future wife whoever she may be and for the Lords perfect timing 😁
My advice, integrate God into your life second to second knowing God knew everything that you experience just before it happens every encouter is a divine apointment, this gives life a supper natural feel
I want to begin by saying that I love your videos. I relate so much to what you say and I've noticed we think along the same lines, so it is nice to have a type of community building in those same thoughts and as believers of God. My last video is actually on contentment and, though you touched even deeper on some of the areas, we have a lot of the same ideas. This is awesome to me because I think this message really needs to be out there. The steps you shared are many ways that I have found a deeper sense of contentment in this time of waiting and growing in God. I really liked the visual you used about getting to your friend's in better time, that really helped to actualize the feeling too. Anyways, keep it up! God is shining through you and it is amazing to see. God bless!
Ah this comment is so encouraging! That's so cool we have similar ways of thinking and similar ideas on this - because I wholeheartedly agree that we need many voices getting the message out there. Thank you so much for watching! 😊💛
Its easy for those who are favorites to be content but the rest of us will never be happy about it or content and even smaller margin of them which Includes me have long given up because its pointless hoping or praying for something that will inevitably never happen. So ill just isolate myself because thats my only option.
I didn’t get to enjoy my singleness either. I’m 29 and never dated. Been in deep poverty my entire life. I don’t want to wait until I get married to finally be able to have the finances to do what I want. 😢 I have student debt, no job, no income, no savings, and very little retirement investments. My life has been really hard and stagnant for the past few years. I want to travel, be able to go to cute restaurants, hang out with friends, to move out my parent’s house, and finally become independent. I just feel stuck.
This is SO good!I stumbled across your Channel with this video and I really appreciate your wisdom and encouragement!I subscribed to your channel and look forward to watching more of your content!!!
I really loved this video because it was one that didn't invalidate what i had been experiencing. Yet it spoke something so true which was that internally we glorify marriage and negate the benefits of single life.
It does invalidate singles because it’s assumed that we idolise marriage just because we want marriage. And that we negate the benefits of single life - we don’t. You and her are inflating the benefits. There’s almost nothing married people can’t do, but HUGE things that single people can’t do. That’s the difference. So these benefits are a myth to invalidate single people. And in doing that people negate the benefits of marriage when we ALL know that those things are wonderful and married people show these off everyday. But they don’t get the lecture - we do. They don’t get accused of idolatry - we do. She’s comparing her wanting to get married by 21 to the testing us reasonable single people wanting to get married in time to have a child - which is basically the point of fertility for women. We didn’t make up the age like she’s acting. She has a child now. Many women don’t. And her ‘advice’ is to ignore the number. Yeah really helpful thanks. Same old advice from young girls who either are or KNOW they will get married young - but say ‘we’ve been waiting * so so* long. NO she hasn’t. She got married younng
@@missNCW Finally someone with a brain here. That's all these bullshit videos from so many different people do. They're the favorites who claimed to be waiting a long time but got married at a young age to be able to have a long married life and children and then have the gall to try and lecture the rest of us who will never get that. Sick of these people rubbing their marriage and children in our faces and telling us we need to be happy. Its fucking insulting and demeaning.
Hi Kaci, I just found your channel yesterday from searching about dating and I'm now a new subscriber! I am watching so many of your videos and your content is amazing! You have so much wisdom and are actually a great teacher even if you don't mean to be Haha. Appreciate you sharing what you have learned! I took notes from this video and found it very helpful and insightful. Also watching from London x
Hi Shola! First of all I'm SO happy to have you here and second this comment is SO encouraging - thank you! Also I love that you are from London - I studied abroad there in college so it has a special place in my heart 😊
I’m only 14 and I’ve been desiring a relationship since I was 12. It sort of came out of nowhere. I remember seeing everyone around me in a relationship, or guys wanting to pursue them. I started to get jealous over those who had a relationship, or who have been asked out. It seems like I’m one of the only ones who guys don’t want to pursue. I had to learn how to wait. It went from wanting marriage, to wanting a boyfriend, to just wanting a guy to ask me out. I realized it turned into wanting that validation from a male. I’m currently trying to focus on God more and to ignore seeking validation from males. I trust God with my future 💕.
I don't know why your video keep popping up in my recommended list. With that said I am past a normal length of time for singleness. I think some people are just meant to be alone. I personally gave up. But anything is possible for anyone so don't let my experience discourage anyone. At the same time don't feel like something is wrong with you if it doesn't happen.
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This video helped me so much in so many ways. I’m 21 years old and my boyfriend of two year broke up with me a few weeks ago and it’s been extremely hard for me to handle. Before him I was in a relationship since I was 15 so I truly haven’t been single since I was 15 and didn’t truly get to fully develop into a woman of God that He wants me to be. All I want is to be a wife with kids and I truly thought that was going to happen with my ex boyfriend of two years, when he broke up with me I felt like all that went out the window and I been struggling in the fact that God wants me single right now cause it feels like I will never get that desire. I realize that God wants me to grow closer to Him cause I’m not ready for a relationship and He is molding me into the woman He wants me to be. Thank you for this video it truly helped me look on what Gods purpose is for me. I’m also currently doing the Philippian bible study you have on ur channel and it’s so beautiful. Thank you for making these videos. God bless❤️
Kate, I'm so happy to hear this video helped! I'm sorry to hear about your breakup - I know it's never easy when the plans and hopes we have don't turn out the way we thought. I am so confident God is going to be molding you in beautiful ways during this time as you seek Him, and I know His plans for you are GOOD. 😊Thank you so much for this encouraging comment! 💛
I don’t think we should be content. Jesus goes over and above to say to ask him for things and emphasize by saying how much more does your father know his to give you good gifts… then in Ephesians is says “he is able to do far more than we can ask or imagine… so I’m not going to be counted but rather keep asking and pray and believe for more than I can image.
If you got married young ... is it really impossible to have that time to really learn who you are, learn who God created you to be, learn what passions and what purpose that He has for your life and to step into those things ? Somebody who's married has a better chance to learn who he ( or she ) is because that person has a marriage partner to show them . There are good things about being single, but what if you just don't like those things ? I'm single so I can date multiple women ... but every woman I meet has a husband or a boyfriend, so I can't have that good thing ! I should have been married years ago !
Well I think I'm going to have to accept lifelong celibacy as I will not be remarrying after my divorce (for both emotional and spiritual reasons). Am I thrilled? Obviously not, but I am happy that now I can focus solely on God and become a eunuch for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven!
i’m 17 and i jus left my boyfriend cause our relationship wasn’t honoring God. i keep seeing people say they are 30+ and unmarried and that TERRIFIES ME
I once read an article that explained young single Christians are told "When you don't want a husband any more, that's when God will give you one ! When I didn't want a husband any more, that's when God brought me one !" . If you "don't want a husband any more", you'll be a bad wife . Does God want a man to have a bad wife ? Does God want you to have a bad wife ? . If you "don't want a wife any more", you'll be a bad husband . Does God want a man to have a bad husband ? Does God want you to have a bad husband ?
Here's the answer if you have surrender to God once you do this you have to let him lead your life and you do his will not yours do you truly have faith and believe? Ask God for his peace joy and happiness he will give these to you but it's up to you to accept them
I dont know about that quote from Matt Chandler though. I think its a way of rationalizing or justifying making an idol out of a relationship. If you get to the point where you are content without without a relationship but then say, Ok where is he/she, then you did it all for the wrong reasons. Your heart was secretly set on getting a relationship, it wasnt set 100% on God. Jesus said, that those who give up parents, wives, husbands children, houses will be rewarded 100 times over in this life and in the life to come........he also said, Seek the kingdom of God above all else and all things will be added unto you. If you give your heart your soul your mind, all of yourself to God, I promise you'll not feel like something or someone is missing. Only when people are divided in their hearts do they suffer. And if God truly intends for you to be married, that will come, but just like Abraham and Isaac, God needs to know that he is number one in your life, because if he's not you'll make an idol out of a relationship with a human being, and that wont work out in the long run.
Its easy for her to say when youre a female and look like Kaci. Im sure she has no problem finding a date any second of the day. Its alittle more difficult for mortal men like myself hahaha, theres so much pop culture phoniness out there that theres no hope for most.
There never was hope. Its easy for the favorites to say "be content" or the usual bullshit adage of "singleness is a gift" or any of the other crap they wanna spew but those are the same people who have better genetics and will never have a problem getting anyone. The rest of us? We're fucked no matter what.
One of the stupidest things I've heard preached to singles in churches "If you aren't happy being single then you wont be happy being married".. Well how is that reasoning applied to childless Sarah or Hannah? Or even to someone who has a terminal illness desiring healing? Lots of good advice in this video but I would caution against falling into the trap of trying to justify the crappy things happening to you as being God's will or something good in disguise. Not paying attention to numbers will work in a limited context but realize that there are expiration dates on certain things. Most people don't look nearly as good in their 40's as they did in their 20's and that will play a part in your bargaining power and maybe getting things which meet your expectations. I always look at things like this like a football game. Many times there have been games where one team has been down at halftime. Then in the 2nd half they came from behind in score to win the game. So did the coach and players say "Okay lets pray that God will change things and let us win this game?" No. And while I agree that prayer is important they re-evaluated their plays and came up with a different game plan otherwise they would have continued to lose.
Take away the number - yeah so this video IS what we thought it is. Because you are married and will have babies - *STOP* telling other women the number doesn’t matter. You will *NEVER* understand that what childlessness feels like because of the number. The number *matters*.
