How to be ELEGANT

Подписаться 165 тыс.

Просмотров 117 тыс.

50% 1

personal style video → • HOW TO FIND YOUR PERSO...
my earrings → go.shopmy.us/p-1734943
my top → rstyle.me/+6CaynJ6G5021A5DSDn... (runs large and long, I'm wearing a small and I'm 9 months pregnant)
my eye makeup → shorturl.at/EHMN7
my nails → rstyle.me/+HdTZa8QIHaLfWkUwS_...
I really recommend Julia Frodahl as a guide to the inner life. This is the home page of her site: shorturl.at/CFNVZ
Julia's compassion course is a great place to start with her teachings-I believe that the next round starts in early September: shorturl.at/gvIOR
Tara Brach is also wonderful: ru-vid.comZqRQacDs...
CHAPTERS
00:00 → INTRO
01:12 → the logistics of ease
04:37 → focus on the person you are with
08:15 → non-reactivity
14:20 → OUTRO
*****************************************************************
If you shop through my links and use my codes, my channel makes a commission. It's a great way to support me if there's something that you are happily planning to buy! But please remember to shop responsibly 🤍
Auric discount code: HANNAH (auriccosmetics.com/)
Natasha Denona discount code: HLP15 (urlis.net/pm334i4n)
OZMA of California discount code: HLP15 (bit.ly/3oSw9iy)
Surratt Beauty discount code: HLP15 go.shopmy.us/p-1889929
RÈPHR BRUSHES: www.rephr.com/?vr=ogatim
Printfresh Pajamas discount code: HANNAHLOUISEPOSTON (bit.ly/3DtcWY8)
Salt New York discount code: HANNAHLOUISE (bit.ly/3ATcb94)
Zeesea cosmetics discount code: HANNAHLOUISE bit.ly/3o8cOUw
Parade discount code: hannahlouiseposton (yourparade.com/) works on sale items too!
By Ourielle custom gel nails discount code: HLP (byourielle.com/)
chillhouse nails discount code: hannahlouiseposton (chillhouse.com)
Alder New York discount code: HANNAHLOUISEPOSTON (aldernewyork.com)
$5 off at Static Nails: bit.ly/3kVUlvB
$3 off of ISOTHRIVE Prebiotic Nectar (I swear by this stuff): isot.us/HPoston
Erin’s Faces (this link is to the Peptide SPF 30, my fave sunscreen): bit.ly/2xrfR1z
Sephora: shop-links.co/cfDBO0W8qPe
Ulta: shop-links.co/cfDBPjcdCCf
*****************************************************************
MY CHANNEL ARTWORK IS BY THE AMAZING HALLIE BREENE: halliebreene.myportfolio.com/
FTC disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission for purchases made through some of the links. This video is not sponsored.
*****************************************************************
contact: workwithhannah@poemamedia.com
If you love my channel and you want to support its growth, the best way to do that is to become a Patreon patron! / hannahlouiseposton
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING AND BEING WONDERFUL!!!

Опубликовано:

27 июн 2024

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 480

@kalindabittner 10 месяцев назад

I'd never thought about how elegance is really a sense of calm and patience and ease, a state of being un-flustered and un-flusterable, but now I can't see it as anything else! Thanks, Hannah!

@neisahsatterfield9380 10 месяцев назад

As a mom of an autistic son, I really appreciate you mentioning that not everyone has the ability to maintain eye contact. You are truly so thoughtful and aware. Your videos are some of the best things on the internet and I always love how thought-provoking your content is. So thank you 🥰

@MichelleC1974 10 месяцев назад

Yes, I thought the same thing. I also have 2 sons on the spectrum

@Paigedh1776 9 месяцев назад

So true. She’s really a special person in so many ways.

@notbroken4342 9 месяцев назад

As a Mum who is also autistic I was impressed and appreciative of her mentioning this.

@LittleWoba 7 месяцев назад

Yes! I'm physically disabled so appreciated her comment about physical ableism but also have ADHD & PTSD so the eye and physical contact thing was also so refreshing to hear. Also, I just want to say to you parents who aren't forcing your children to make contact with people...thank you!!!

@emmelinesprig489 9 месяцев назад

This niche you’ve forged between cosmetics, fashion, and philosophy is so satiating. It’s insightful without being prescriptive or exclusive. 🌺

@interstellarhardrive 6 месяцев назад

Wow you're articulate,, multisyllabic yeah

@MsAuriauri 10 месяцев назад

as someone who’s worked in luxury hospitality for two years, these are all incredible points! i can assure you, one of the main benefits of practicing elegance is that it creates a comfortable environment for your friends (and guests!) and for yourself.

@saulemaroussault6343 10 месяцев назад

As a disabled person who is active in disability activism circles : THANK YOU for naming ableism as a first point in your video. You’re always so thoughtful and not leaving people behind in your analyses 💚

@ameerahalgohary 10 месяцев назад

+ 1 ❤

@1015SaturdayNight 10 месяцев назад

Same, I think this is so important

@Lucysmom26 10 месяцев назад

I agree and very much appreciate the non-performative care Hannah puts into these videos.

@beatdizzy 10 месяцев назад

Literally in tears.

@ink_puke_ 10 месяцев назад

this!

@candibee8918 10 месяцев назад

I really enjoyed this video! One thing that especially resonated with me is non-reactivity! I am Indigenous and French-Canadian. French-Canadians are very expressive and loud generally, but in my Indigenous culture, strong reactions other than laughter or expressions or love, are very rude. So I actually have to remember to code-switch culturally when I’m with my Indigenous community. Getting very angry, very flustered, very frightened, even being overly “grateful” is seen as rude and imposing. It’s a matter of not constantly centering your experience, and instead aspiring to participate socially with the grace and patience, and make sure especially that children and Elder people can be heard. One exception is joking and laughter, when we are telling funny stories or joking, we tend to be louder and very animated, and this is seen as fun. Interestingly though, this loud laughter is often off-putting in many white cultures in my experience. Loved this one!!

@fldombro 10 месяцев назад

Fellow French-Canadian here et c’est exactement ça haha

@candibee8918 10 месяцев назад

@@fldombro Totally! Avec ma famille française c’est une question de quelle tante peut parler le plus rapidement 😂

@ghouliegarou 10 месяцев назад

"It’s a matter of not constantly centering your experience, and instead aspiring to participate socially with the grace and patience, and make sure especially that children and Elder people can be heard." Love this!

@cristin794 9 месяцев назад

Thanks for sharing your experience. It's interesting how expressing emotion can be cultural. I'm originally from New York, and now I live in Sweden, and the difference in cultures in terms of expressing emotion is vast. I can sometimes feel that Swedes are unfriendly and even rude, but I've learned that it is more about not burdening others with your inner state. Your sharing helps me to see it even more clearly.

@theotherlindsayrickman 9 месяцев назад

Think about how (Star Trek) Kirk and Spock were so different from each other, but they were still best friends. NY and Sweden.. oh man I can imagine lol @@cristin794

@tanyawriter13 10 месяцев назад

Girl, I know you get this comment a lot, but your inclusivity and considerate nature to all people is so refreshing and, dare I say, healing?

@saulemaroussault6343 10 месяцев назад

Yes. Not being an afterthought is so precious !

@RaniaMich 10 месяцев назад

It's a celebration of life, it's a sense of normalcy represented without a sense of it being forced, i LOVE it!

@catherinelynnfraser2001 10 месяцев назад

Yes

@shannonhart5580 9 месяцев назад

Non-reactivity is especially important if someone is being argumentative or confrontational. Instead of immediately reacting, calmly looking back at them without escalating or feeding into their negativity is almost like putting a mirror up so they realize how badly they're behaving.

@loissage3630 10 месяцев назад

I needed to hear this today. I am 68 and walk several times a week with the same 3 ladies. I would spend time thinking about things I want to bring into our conversations, only to be interrupted and not heard; therefore going forward I am just going to listen and focus on hearing whoever is talking. I think I will save myself a lot of energy. Thank you for this!!❤

@sfr2107 2 месяца назад

I'm just confused on when you get to have your turn with the same treatment? I think we all have a need to be expressive and heard, so I'm confused on where we would draw the line?

@loissage3630 2 месяца назад

@@sfr2107 I understand your confusion. I reread my comment and I agree that I have chosen to “sacrifice” my turn to talk because I listen. I have several other friendships that allow me to participate in the conversations. My walking buddies get me out into the fresh air for some exercise even though they are kind of “rude” old crones.

@snowwhite7341 10 месяцев назад

I’ve been told that I’m elegant for years, I’m 58. Now that I hear this, I realize I’m good at 1 and 3 and I strive for 2! I think a big part of this is that I’ve been physically disabled since I was a teen and chronically I’ll since my 30’s. It really forces me to think about how to be comfortable yet stylish. I have to move carefully and thoughtfully or I’ll hurt myself. Nobody realizes how sick I am unless I tell them but in a way, being disabled has made it necessary for me to be thoughtful about my movement and it’s spilled over to my state of mind. It also helps me to realize that everyone struggles with something, no matter how it might appear. I think that makes me kinder, which is a part of elegance.

@bonnyphotinos4262 3 месяца назад

gee! what a wonderful and astute understanding and awareness of yourself. i think there is so much to learn from you and the way you have chosen to respond to your situation in life. you are right. "kinder, which is a part of elegance". so impressive how you are so thoughtful about your movement and how it "spilled over to my stat of mind". keep on keepin on! much respect!

@Lauren.Wagstaff 10 месяцев назад

To me the key is the absence of being rushed. Once I’m rushed any sense of calmness, togetherness flies out the window. An elegant woman is non-plussed and composed. You can be in sweats but if you’re exhibiting the other characteristics of elegance, the clothing and ecoutrememt is irrelevant

@catu.808 9 месяцев назад

I believe this is the primary key! Over the years I’ve been working on shifting my mindset to abundance and the thing that has been the most impactful is giving myself the gift of time (sleep/preparation/travel). It makes a world of difference!

@elizabethschrimpf3117 10 месяцев назад

As a therapist who has been on both ends of the couch in trauma processing and does actively practice meditation, I think your description of non-reactivity is actually quite elegant (!) and plan to use the example of dropping an item to introduce the idea to clients. Thank you for this!!!

@cinemaocd1752 10 месяцев назад

I am on my third pass through this video in 24 hours. Hannah, I'm blown away. THis is the best video you've ever done.

@HannahLouisePoston 10 месяцев назад

❤️❤️❤️

@MrsQuam 9 месяцев назад

Agreed! And she’s created so many incredible things! This is just…. Remarkably special.

@user-me5tq9uu7w 9 месяцев назад

I also have just watched this video for the third time! It's so good.

@sarahcreates7096 9 месяцев назад

Yes!

@avericrockett862 10 месяцев назад

Thank you so much for including us neurodivergent folks in your discussion of eye contact ❤ it honestly made me tear up to be included! As a high-masking autistic woman, I can force myself to make eye contact, but I am not able to focus on the person I'm speaking with when I do as I'm so caught up in self-monitoring. I love your view of elegance as a sense of ease that will look different for everyone. I never hoped to be elegant, but these are achievable suggestions that I'd love to work on.

@HannahLouisePoston 10 месяцев назад

❤️

@kaileyofarrell5207 10 месяцев назад

i also teared up at the affirmation about eye contact 🩷

@ros8986 10 месяцев назад

I am NT but I find it very distracting to look at someone I am listening to. I incline my head and ear toward them in a way that indicates I am intently paying attention and sometimes explain I listen much better if I am not lookign at the person.

@saplingtarot 10 месяцев назад

It feels so warm and cosy to be included in these sorts of conversations! One thing I learned very recently is that when NTs say eye contact, they don’t always mean actually looking someone directly in the eye, it can just mean looking at their face in general, if anything, looking too intently can be seen as intense or off-putting?! So be sure to give yourself some grace around these things, I bet you’re doing even better than you know.

@alisonsmarra 10 месяцев назад

This analysis calls to my mind the main goal of parenting I've held since my daughters were babies: to raise people who are both kind and confident. Kind (not merely nice) to others and to themselves. Confident (not arrogant) in their own skin and their own boundaries, such that they can be present with others. Now that they're teens I've started articulating this to them, and they'll bring me home stories of noticing other folks in the world with these qualities. I've never thought to encompass it all under the concept of elegance, because I've always thought of elegance as a physical attribute. But you're so brilliant! to define elegance as a generally decluttered mind body and soul who can be authentically present in an environment and with others. I love this perspective and can't wait to share it with my girls ❤

@JehanineMelmoth 10 месяцев назад

I’m disabled, plus size and on a tight budget, so it was wonderful to hear real ideas that are inclusive! I’ve seen videos supposedly about elegance that are all about wearing a lot of gold jewellery and a small belt - thank you for being better than that.

@StupidPoetry 10 месяцев назад

As an autistic disabled person I'd like to add a couple of things. Firstly, when it comes to dress, accepting the reality of my body that day really helps. Fashion, in my experience, plays a big role in pain management and making sure I don't flare up more than my body is already doing. Secondly, when it comes to non-reactivity, those of us who are autistic might experience big emotions longer and stronger - and that's okay. In my experience, non-reactivity looks less like a few minutes with the emotion and more like stepping back from acting on it until it stops being as emotionally sharp - and it can take longer, it's okay. Finally, for me a big thing is getting rid of shame that is almost expected when one uses a mobility aid like I do (I'm a cane user) or having other signs of visible disability. I find that inner confidence that I am doing what's best for me and I just exist in a way that I can actually allows me to also have more grace in social situations.

@ros8986 10 месяцев назад

Canes are very elegant.

@LittleWoba 7 месяцев назад

Same here! I've actually avoided using my mobility aids when I should have before but after watching this, I've been working on my internalized ableism and shame around using them.

@deborahrombouts9958 6 месяцев назад

My rehab physician gave me a lecture that mobility aids aren’t meant to be just a fashion statement… that is, I need to suck up my own ableist shame & actually use my cane. Admitted it was after one of my many “kiss the ground” antics. He is my biggest cheerleader & one of the few people I will listen to.

@makeupeclectic 10 месяцев назад

I was feeling schlubby and overwhelmed when this video posted initially and thought "there's no way this is for me." The week calmed down and I finally sat down to watch this. And you're right, it wasn't what I thought, and it's precisely what I needed. Thank you Hannah.

@womanofacertainage5892 10 месяцев назад

I was a mediator for about 17 years. In mediation training (GOOD mediation training), one learns that the most important skill for mediators is, as I call it, "shutting up." Ask a question, then never strive to fill the space with chatter or suggestions or commentary. That training has served me well in my personal life, too. Silence is not only ok, it's lovely. I wish more Americans could live peacefully with silence in conversations. (I can only say Americans are generally not great at this-- because I'm American.)

@belerinah 10 месяцев назад

So I am, in fact, an elegant person. What a confidence boost you just gave me right here.

@architecturaldream1 10 месяцев назад

“Non-reactivity in the service of care”. Holy shit. Hannah - I so deeply appreciate the work you do. Your perspective, reflectivity, breadth and depth, inclusivity, refinement of thought are quite astounding. “How to be elegant” is a question I have asked myself for a long time - thank you for answering this. Emotional regulation is a huge challenge but is key to the version of myself I aspire to be. Thank you again.

@kathleenm.5086 10 месяцев назад

TFW when you thought Hannah was gonna tell you to wear a black turtleneck and red lip… but actually you’re like yes, I will sign here on the dotted line to become a Buddhist now

@sophieserendipity4164 10 месяцев назад

Exactly. I'm like: where's that meditation cushion I bought on a whim again? So much better than, let's say, "invest in a timeless watch"

@Deem57 10 месяцев назад

I love the idea that elegance is more about demeanour and behaviour than it is about style. I could never be bothered with trying to look elegant TBH but I can see the value in trying to be elegant. It brings more poise to be nonreactive and more present, which could offer more ease in both myself and my relationships.

@SatumainenOlento 8 месяцев назад

Yes! Big realisation!!! I am now realising how it enchanced my experiences with other people...Often people respond to me very kindly and respectfully when I am calm and collected, but if I am in hurry and anxious, they repel me and do not want to help. So from now on, I will not be in a rush.

@jenna-lynroman4127 10 месяцев назад

Your awareness of the need for inclusivity continues to impress me and my research is on those topics when I'm not obsessed wth aesthetics!

@goodyougetastar 10 месяцев назад

SUPER interesting points here. Upon seeing the title, I tried to answer the question for myself - poise, stature, etc., those all felt cold, stiff, and unapproachable. I asked myself how can one be elegant while maintaining a warm, laid back, and approachable manner, which is what I aspire to be. This video completely took me by surprise and has made me think about elegance and what it actually means to me. That perhaps I viewed elegance as something that is perceived more than lived - that I've never quite given thought to what it means to live elegantly, just that I know what elegance looks like to me. I've always been quite insecure about how I'm perceived when I'm around friends or colleagues, etc., but I guess wanting to be perceived in a certain "elegant" way is the sort of selfish and ego-driven part of me that takes me out of actually connecting, something that distances myself from those other things I want to be. I guess my main takeaway then is that I maybe need to review my relationship with the concept of elegance. That perhaps it is more selfless. And also that elegance and those qualities I want for myself are not mutually exclusive, and they can, in fact, mingle and strengthen each other. (Or, perhaps, that elegance is more of a side effect of mindfulness and self-security, and that it might not be something that can actually be aimed for?) I should've known that too because I find you quite elegant, but you are not at all cold, nor stiff, nor unapproachable. Absolutely loved this. Hope this can be explored more in further videos because I'm personally gonna do a little digging into it for myself.

@WildEarthWays 10 месяцев назад

Ease, presence, attention, non-reactivity and taking back your time - I love these suggestions. What a great approach to elegance 🙏 Best of luck to you in your pregnancy!

@wlammy3171 10 месяцев назад

I literally never cared about or hoped to be elegant, but now you describe it like this - sounds amazing and I’m gonna try haha ❤

@Rcaldwell091 10 месяцев назад

Same!!

@deirdrewalsh1134 9 месяцев назад

You just made me smile, I’m sure you are very elegant, your sincerity is quite charming.🇦🇺

@catherinelynnfraser2001 10 месяцев назад

Elegance is a state of mind but it manifests in a time and a place and can be cultivated. You’ve nailed it. ❤

@DrCatterBox 9 месяцев назад

You are essentially describing Dialectical Behavior Therapy, made of four tenets: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal relationships. Immensely helpful and effective for almost everyone ♥️

@morgantaylor517 10 месяцев назад

Elegance is very much correlated with good manners, good manners being understood as a way of being that strives to put the people around oneself at esse. On a cruise I received probably the highest complement I've ever gotten, a man at a different dinner table told me he'd never seen such an engaged and active listener, he'd been observing our table. I was right chuffed.

@sveme5450 10 месяцев назад

i have never strived towards being elegant but the bit about creating a calming space and presence for others really touched me. as someone who is deeply afraid of being "too much" or exhausting to spend time with creating that focus on a person seems like a doable thing to keep in mind as a guide if i ever feel lost in a social interaction. and in the words of Khadija Mbowe: "loving someone means holding space for them"

@maureenott214 10 месяцев назад

Your attentiveness to inclusivity is remarkable in all of your videos but this one is on a whole new level. I feel seen and I appreciate it so SO much. Thank you for the work that you do in the world… Also: 💖💖💖

@pageremick5504 9 месяцев назад

As a Professional Organizer, I love your suggestion of not only emptying your handbag at the end of each day, but completely putting everything away so that you only pull out what you need the next day. BRILLIANT! Another way to increase elegance is to work on improving your posture when you sit, walk and stand. It is a sign of an elegant woman.

@bonniebrown1566 9 месяцев назад

It is SO refreshing to see a young woman addressing a topic like “elegance”. It’s practically a lost art these days. One suggestion that may not be appealing to everyone, but I find it very useful, is to watch old silver screen actresses. They are perfect role models of elegance, poise, and grace.

@alikat8221 10 месяцев назад

Wow, I needed this video today. Despite having unintentionally “mastered” the fluffy side of elegance (along with some intentional social presence), non reactivity - especially as the parent of an amazing, but intensely high-needs ND child - is both incredibly difficult, and vital in managing both my emotions, and my daughter’s (co-regulation and all that). Hannah, thank you once again for your immensely thoughtful, philosophical take on an under-appreciated topic.

@andreabootsma8478 10 месяцев назад

This video immediately made me think of my grandmother. I love framing her as elegant (though some standard probably wouldn't include an 80 year old former teacher in that category) She is so thoughtful and generous and really just lives her life with such peace. I have always though of her as an example of what it looks like to age well but its interesting to think of what habits I could start cultivating now in order to become that type of a person as I age

@callmecharlie99 7 месяцев назад

Same here. My abuela had all of these qualities, but would not fit the traditional definition of elegant.

@CrystalandClover 10 месяцев назад

I love how you deep dive into concepts like this. I can literally feel my neurons doing something beautiful… like whoa, never thought about it that way!

@Thekatieab 10 месяцев назад

Thank you so much for making this video. The timing of it entering my life is serendipitous. I am an overwhelmed, over sensitized mom of three young kids. I have found myself to be consistently looking for ways to check out of life. This is not healthy for me or my children. I think this is a good place for me to start on my journey of becoming “human” again. If you feel up to it, please continue to make this kind of content. I find it very motivating. I want to reshape my concept of who I am as a person to someone who I choose to be. Not someone who is constantly reacting that ultimately leads to shutting down. I know my neurodivergence is a challenge, but its time for me to stand in that challenge and work with it going forward instead of fighting it. Thank you so much. I could hug you for making this video. It entered my life at an absolute perfect moment.

@sophieserendipity4164 10 месяцев назад

Dear internet stranger, I'm rooting for you ❤

@BethanyBuffington 10 месяцев назад

Love this philosophical content

@mackennaj 10 месяцев назад

Non-reactivity is such an interesting concept. When onstage, the training is often to become hyper-reactive so that you are clearly communicating even the subtlest reaction. As a masking person with quite a bit of stage training, I've found I'm often hyper-reactive in real life scenarios due to overcompensation and occasionally triggering the person I am in conversation with. It is fascinating how real life elegance is almost just finding patience within yourself to yourself.

@maresofthrace6108 9 месяцев назад

I've been looking for a practical, actionable, digestible, concrete intro to mindfulness, on the advice of my therapist. I... was not expecting it to come from a guide to elegance on a fashion and beauty youtube channel, but honestly, this is the best resource I've found on the subject so far. Thank you.

@glitterberserker1029 10 месяцев назад

Giving the people around us our full attention is so important. It's really easy to overlook but I really try to have my phone away when I'm spending time with someone and 90% of the time whatever I'm looking at on my phone isn't particularly important.

@xuxagirl87 6 месяцев назад

As a wheelchair user whose idea of elegance usually involves a certain walk, I appreciate this so much. I also love that all these suggestions genuinely make your life easier and less stressful.

@kellycardinal516 9 месяцев назад

I have been actively working on several of these great ideas this year, and interestingly, not with the intention to be more elegant, but to honor my boundaries, love people more fully and better manage my energy!

@carlissashevalier8902 10 месяцев назад

This video was so pleasant to watch 😊. One thing that has helped me so much in relation to non-reactivity is purposefully cultivating an attitude of curiousity towards other people. I have been so lucky to have some lovely people in my life who modelled this very well for me. When someone around me behaves in a way that is rude, gross, grouchy, or even cruel, I try to ask questions rather than pass judgements. What makes this person behave like this? I wonder what their upbringing was like? What kind of day are they having? Asking questions helps me not take others people's behaviour personally and it gives me the pause I need to respond according to MY OWN values. Thanks for the video!

@taneshahays9646 10 месяцев назад

Non-reactivity is a great one to master, especially if you are around people with high emotions often or work in a high stress environment or those with trauma. I've had friends that had truly horrific traumatic experiences in their life and could speak with me about them freely due to this allowing our friendship to deepen. In their own words, "I don't have to help you manage your emotions or reaction to my experience, which allows me to speak freely and honestly and sometimes allows me to process it further". It doesn't mean you don't react or push away your own feelings but you allow everyone around you space for theirs at the same time; the grace of knowing when to display them.

@Heather.C.ButterflySage 9 месяцев назад

My grandma was often referred to as an elegant lady. I aspire and am inspired to access and embody elegance. Why not? 🕊🌿🌷

@Gayle1661 10 месяцев назад

This was an incredible video, thank you so much Hannah. As someone who is Autistic your mention of how this could look differently in those who aren't able to make eye contact was particularly heartwarming for me. Social self monitoring is at an all time high for me whenever I try to incorportate eye contact, but hearing you say that there will always be a noticeable difference in the version of you who is focused on the other person, vs yourself. really puts the cost of masking into perspective for me. I feel consumed with preoccupation for others with none of the benefits of consideration when I mask. But what I want to show is care and consideration. It really made me think about how I can be considerate in my own ways of being present, rather than focused on how present I appear by neurotypical standards.

@lenoredavi6137 10 месяцев назад

Love it. Thank you for sharing.

@nataliebresson1910 10 месяцев назад

As a registered nurse I am constantly on edge to be reactive...although there are situations where I need to be reactive, your words really opened my mind to remember that it is ok to take a moment and be thoughtful about responding to situations. Thank you HLP🙏. Congratulations on your new addition! Would love to see your version on a sustainable Halloween costume, "but you know, fashion" a la HLP. Cheers

@imagineitqll 10 месяцев назад

This, interestingly enough, has really help me start the teaching year out strong. I’ve been both reminding myself to be non-reactive and take a moment to think before I respond to situations in class and have been teaching the kids (middle school) to do the same. Overall, the class feels much more calm and put together… no one is rushing or snapping at each other. We are here to be thoughtful and in the moment with each other, and that feels great

@breannacarels6479 10 месяцев назад

Years and years of healing and self-work and I had no idea I was working towards elegance lol. Certainly would never describe myself that way but I value and practice all 3 of these. Who knew elegance could be the side product of deep emotional healing, presence and inner wholeness. ❤

@receptivity1884 10 месяцев назад

I will add I find quirky, authentic people very elegant. Unconventional elegance is real. Unusual people are original and elegant in new, fresh ways. Creative people inspire me and I learn alot from authentic elegant people. Great video.

@darklingfaerie2921 9 месяцев назад

Great video! I’m probably not stating or summarizing this well, but Marianne Le Coeur has discussed true elegance in some of her videos and I remember once she described how a poor woman welcomed her in her home in Mexico and how she put Marianne so at ease, making sure she was comfortable. Not how she dressed or how straight she stood or other things we often think of, but how she made others feel.

@samiansley5740 10 месяцев назад

Your opening statement about Not being ableist or reductivist is why I love your perspective so much. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. ❤

@basicbaroque 10 месяцев назад

I'm glad you made this video; especially, the bit about non-reaction. I am a very calm person naturally, but over the years I have been pressured to be this "perky" ideal of femininity that is so prized in the USA. Not only has it made me become self-conscious with who I am, but it has exhausted me. Its time to get back in touch with the person I am. I need to let go of worring if people think I am unapproachable, a "b*tch," or a snob, before I even speak a word to them.

@whyamihere6201 10 месяцев назад

This video was so incredibly thoughtfully and considerately put together! I love that you made room for everyone’s uniqueness to reach elegance in their own beautiful ways!

@Lucysmom26 10 месяцев назад

These more in-depth videos are by far my favourite content from you, and some of my favourite on RU-vid. I have observed throughout my life that presentation and body language, the subtlest human behaviours etc. are so much more important than many of us seem to realize. The superficial parts of elegance aren't easy, but they're easy compared to the deeper parts. There are people who unconsciously understand all of this, and who manage to make everyone around them feel at ease. I am not one of those people and have had to work hard (ongoing) to understand how I come across to others and how the tiniest quirks of posture or behaviour can give an impression I don't wish to give.

@heabooktubes 10 месяцев назад

Love that you acknowledged ableism and that this doesn’t have to look the same for everyone. ♥️

@MeditationWithAmber 9 месяцев назад

I took an interior design course once, and the teacher defined luxury as the feeling of sitting in a comfortable, supportive chair with everything you need in reach: a place to put your tea, your hand cream in the drawer directly next to you… I think about that a lot and tip 1 reminded me of it.

@helenascribe210 10 месяцев назад

I agree with the idea of focussing on the other person. My dad used to tell us to be polite to people who can't leave, i.e. bank tellers, servers, cashiers, etc. So I do that by greeting them before stating what I need and asking them, "how is your day going," etc. We're all just humans trying to get through the day and get home. 😊

@emilyevilsizor6680 10 месяцев назад

I have also heard non-reactivity as related to speaking a mantra, "I will not be moved", in response to agitators or irritations. A moment of self-control, one of the Fruits of the Spirit I am seeking.

@adventureswiththerobin 10 месяцев назад

I love the points you made in this video Hannah! Under point #2, I found that when I started learning improv comedy and performing actually helped me become an active listener and to focus on the people I am with. Who knew improv was teaching me to be elegant? LOL!

@jenessastrickland1555 10 месяцев назад

I think this is brilliant. The only sticking point for me is that I find that the world generally moves faster than me, so I literally miss opportunities when I slow down. I’m already sort of slow, not because I’m so elegant (lol), but mostly because of brain fog, trouble finding the right words, fatigue, and chronic illness. With most of the people in my life, when I’m operating at my normal pace, I literally start to articulate a thought, or I start one of two points I want to make, and the other person is off to the races before I can finish. Sometimes I reflect on my conversations and feel like my contribution was nonsensical because it was a series of sentences like “I think one way to look at this issue is X…but-“ and so even though I want to say maybe that first way of looking at the issue is less than ideal, I never got around to finishing that thought. I need to practice giving my complete attention to my companion, but I also need to find times when I’m the one being given that kind of attention.

@rachelw3805 10 месяцев назад

I loved this video, but boy did it make me realize why I always feel so gauche when I'm in situations where I wish I was elegant. ADHD makes me literally the opposite of all of these things. Focusing completely on someone else, not reacting to impulses, regulating emotions, not interrupting, patience, organization and planning, being on time and not rushed - all executive functions that can be impaired with ADHD. I agree with your view, and have been actively working on all of these things, and it is a long hard road to become someone who exudes that calming, focused presence. My husband watched this with me and said, not unkindly, "So you just have to not be you?" I don't say this to say that you're wrong or that this video is hurtful, but that it brought a different dimension to the reasons to continue working on mindfulness, self-regulation, etc. Not only would it be helpful to myself and my relationships to improve on these things, but it would allow the people around me to have more of a sense of calm and ease, too. You've given me much to think about, and I appreciate it.

@mangisty1007 10 месяцев назад

I have never heard of elegance in this way before! I wasn’t expecting these sort of tips! Thanks!

@bryonyvaughn2427 10 месяцев назад

Funny that my childhood babysitter tried to teach me to "be a lady." Her first rule was a lady always knew where everything was in her purse, would just reach in and grab what she needed, and never to paw through and look for the object. It made me chuckle to notice the overlap. Another rule of hers was correcting her when I said I was hot and sweaty. "Ladies glow, men perspire, and horses sweat." My five-year-old self couldn't get how I wouldn't be allowed to sweat as a lady. I was a VERY literal kid. lol

@loidaholder2689 10 месяцев назад

It’s funny we all think you so elegant because we tend to associate elegant with aloofness and you are very warm and funny and inviting, but it took me to watch you on videos were you have somebody else to see this, and grateful cuz I learn so much from you, including the points in here which I’ve come to learn out of need to be at ease with my surroundings rather than a need to be elegant, which I think includes an element of style to tied all with a neat bow. I think of you sometimes when I’m speaking because the way you talk in your videos also adds to this element of elegance, the calming and soothing voice you use is what always makes me think of you as elegant. It helps me listen and take in what you are saying. Maybe you should partner with Calm for a soothing story.

@lisawallace8736 10 месяцев назад

This whole talk was honestly so useful for me. I had never thought about it before but the scrambling around when I drop things was so immediately familiar. Such good guidance. Thank you.

@wildlyamy 10 месяцев назад

You spoke on elegance with the utmost elegance. You really are a wonderful inspiration.

@akultra_777 6 месяцев назад

Thanks for sharing, it shows elegance when someone takes years to think of an answer to a question rather than rushing

@superfund42 10 месяцев назад

I love this and I realized while watching that these are all things I have been actively working on for the past few months after I had kind of a weird fog-clearing moment. I stopped carrying a purse unless I actually need to carry specific items - I take a tiny wallet and my phone and my house keys stay in the car. I think there is great value in being intentional with your time, with your stuff, and with other people.

@laurenzawadzki4809 10 месяцев назад

Hannah, I’ve come to realize that there is some nugget of mindfulness gold in every one of your videos, even ones that don’t jump out at me! I used to only watch your fashion content, but I so enjoy your outlook on beauty and on the modern world. I take something meaningful and memorable away from every video of yours that I watch. Sure enough, your take on elegance was refreshing and unexpected. I love that the way you describe it, elegance and clumsiness can coexist and even be in harmony with one another! I am a somewhat clumsy person and with non-reactivity and calm acceptance, I can own that as part of my charm. What a concept! :) Thank you for creating beauty and fashion content that supports people in truly living well.

@WilliamWallace444 9 месяцев назад

Hannah, i am autistic myself, hearing you mention ableism, or not being able to eye-contact right, is so relieving, massive massive huge thank you for voicing this out

@MillieMaa 10 месяцев назад

I feel this in public speaking. I tell my students that if they flub a word they can just correct themselves and go on. It’s not a big deal (although in their minds it’s a huge deal). if they are relaxed in doing this their listeners will feel relaxed as well - it seems like a small thing but learning that mistakes or flubs are not catastrophic is so big in terms of teens learning that they can have autonomy and ownership of their bodies and experience.

@auntrori 10 месяцев назад

I feel like this is such a good thing to teach to kids and teens. I spend a lot of my time at work teaching peers new things, and everyone is so afraid of making a mistake or "breaking" the program or formula or workbook. And I try to explain at the very beginning that they cannot "break" it. And if they do somehow mess up, now's the time to mess up... When we're training and learning together. I hate how afraid we've all seem to become about failing at something, because failing is how we learn and grow.

@neon.neutral 10 месяцев назад

I wish schools were better about teaching how to make mistakes...

@katyakotelochek2279 10 месяцев назад

I can listen to Hannah talking about anything non-beauty - and that never happens to me on beauty channels. This particular parasocial relationship to me is with a sister I strive to be like. First, minimalism in makeup (no complaints so far). And now I want to be more elegant (no complaints either).

@buniversum1110 10 месяцев назад

I watched this yesterday and it stayed with me the entire day today. I get overwhelmed easily, I get flustered, react too quickly, panic. Your tips are excellent, loving and smart. One of your best. Thank you

@SummeRain783 6 месяцев назад

I never realized I was doing many of these things already. People have used calm and elegant to describe me regularly though I wasn’t trying. Seeing these points makes me realize and understand why. Thanks for sharing ❤

@pearlspear2922 10 месяцев назад

your point of letting news sit with you for a moment before reacting is super striking to me, because I’ve felt for a long time that quietness is how i naturally react to news but that that was wrong. i think we’re taught, actually, that to react quickly and forwardly is the best and truest way to react, but truly being thoughtful and slower is such a better practice. anyway, this video really helped me feel at ease with this idea about my own reactions that has been nagging at me for some time!

@Bronzyglow 10 месяцев назад

This was a really lovely video and I appreciate you squelching the instinct to discount your perspective. It added to my perspective of elegance. Thank you! Keep expanding into space that is clearly waiting for you to embrace it!

@oda_margrethe 10 месяцев назад

One thought that came to me when watching this video another time, is that your suggestions are suitable for any gender. I might put this video on when my dad is in the room, because it is not specifically about the french type of feminine elegance that I often see people talk about. Thinking about the topic for years before making your video has obviously meant that you have found some gold nuggets to pass on to us. :) Thank you!

@Nicole_elizabeth1561 10 месяцев назад

"trying to erase the fact that you dropped it" You're right I can so relate to this. Acceptance and elegance truly do good together.

@sojajunge 10 месяцев назад

finally. the hannah louise poston guide to becoming hot and mysterious.

@marylopez3777 Месяц назад

Thank you Hannah! “Checking your phone for no real reason sucks the power out of all 3 of these practices. So if they all sound impossible to you, then spending less time looking at your phone screen may be your starting place for elegance.”

@ros8986 10 месяцев назад

Kindness is ALWAYS elegant.

@DolceSuono9 10 месяцев назад

Your noting how eye contact differs from person to person is appreciated. 🌸

@NewRiverSelkie 10 месяцев назад

❤There is a grace in women I’ve known or met from all walks of life that speaks to this. Some are just brief interactions with kind strangers that stayed with me and buoyed me for the rest of the day. We have such capacity as human beings to lift each other up. Thank you for this reminder. It’s part of what I appreciate so much in what you choose to post❤

@embellishmarin4647 10 месяцев назад

Such good points. I think nonreactivity also translates to our beauty choices. Many times, when I feel uncertain about my looks, I reactively start doing more, adding more, doing the most to try to combat that. Wearing just what I need, resisting adding more for more’s sake is elegant. A choice to inhabit myself just as I am, without resorting to too much smoke and mirrors. Sometimes, I may want to do it all, and a lot of it if an occasion or my desire warrants it. But not in reaction. I have come to see this is never my best look.

@mery_vc 10 месяцев назад

I came to this video expecting a light hearted fashion video and finished it with the feeling I have emotional "homework" to do, in a good way. One day I hope to be as calm and elegant as you described ❤

@THEONLYSOFTY 10 месяцев назад

Thank you for such a great video! I love your ease of access when it comes to the examples of how to practice non-reactivity. They seem so small but are such a great way to start thinking about our reactivity and how we can be mindful of how we connect our internal worlds with our external environments. I'm pretty good about holding space for others and have been practicing the 'holding onto silence in convos' with others for a long time. It makes conversations much more organic and people really feel heard in those moments. But I never thought about my reactions to say, dropping my chapstick, but you are absolutely correct that this is a false sense of urgency. I suffer from pretty severe anxiety at times and am quick to want to fix things around me. But practicing things like not immediately picking up something dropped or not checking my phone when I'm alone might be a great addition in retraining my nervous system to not be so reactive. For me this has less to do with elegance and more to do with trying to recover from childhood trauma. But hey, if elegance is an added benefit I absolutely will not complain!!! ❤❤

@Mimulus2717 10 месяцев назад

many people here already commented about how thoughtful and inclusive this video is! I wish these skills were taught to everyone to make for a more kind and well adjusted populace. In regards to elegance, as someone with frizzy hair (who embraces it but also loves playing with different hairstyles) I can say I feel more elegant when my hair is pulled back or styled closer to my scalp/head. I'm old enough to remember Witch Hazel: a cartoon witch who was always rushing off on her broom in a cloud of hairpins falling from her flyaway hair. Google her. She is the antithesis of elegant. I do love being messy and boho and maximalist trailing figurative hairpins sometimes, but the older I get (i'm62) the less that works for me, maybe because my memory not as sharp and that look contributes to brain fog! When I am more pared down in my clothing and hair pulled back, dressed for comfort and ease my mind is clearer too....as fewer things to keep track of.

@doodlejule 10 месяцев назад

Your videos are so wonderful and bring a real sense of calm into my day. As to elegance, the struggle with the handbag and clothes reminded me of my own attempts to give myself more respect as a person. I find it so easy to neglect my own needs and as a consequence I rush out of the door with half my things missing or a bag full of unnecessary items. I don't plan for the next day well enough - I always thought this was just "being a scatterbrain", but now I feel it's just a lack of self-respect. I think all of the examples you showed are kind of instances where you show yourself and the people you're with the appropriate level of respect and empathy. This is such a lovely way of thinking and I will try and remember it more. 💜

@YvonneRaphaelWriter 10 месяцев назад

Well stated Hannah. I enjoy the quality of your content. This brings to mind the instruction I received, oh…longer than I care to admit…when I was studying to teach meditation with a spiritual guide. She said the meditation you offer starts with your own practice. Enter the meditation room with all the fruits of your own practice as if it were an atmosphere as palpable as a cloak about you and filled with the light of who you are. She went on to say that the atmosphere a meditation teacher exudes has every potential to touch others far more profoundly than you can possibly imagine, and it is within every person’s ability to offer that gift to the world, just by making life your spiritual practice. Even today, so many years later, I think about this, just as you have about elegance. This doesn’t surprise me, because elegance and all you’ve intuited it to mean is a divine quality which may be aspired to. My ability to be so present varies of course, even after all the hours and years of meditation practice, but it’s such a compelling focus for daily living. Thanks for the reminder.

@fldombro 10 месяцев назад

The part on non-urgency is probably my biggest challenge as I navigate my 30s. I’m definitely someone who’s quick-to-act which is my superpower, I’m confident I can make smart decisions without having to think them over for months, and if I fail, I know I’ve built myself a solid safety net to catch myself and recover. But the flip side is I also go too fast at times and make rash moves that lead to feeling and looking at times erratic or rushed. Fabulous and thoughtful video as always and leaving me with lots to think about! TY

@laylarahman11 10 месяцев назад

What a gem of a channel

@yogagirlification 9 месяцев назад

You have truly captured the essence of elegance. What to do if the person you are with is constantly checking their phone and responding to messages??

@33Jenesis 9 месяцев назад

I love your pointers. I don’t carry anything I don’t use or need in my bag (no makeup no notebook no a ton of cards and recipes). Shoes must be comfortable and stylish. I wear hats and beanies all year round to minimize hair styling. I don’t wear figure hugging tops and dresses. I put phone in handbag when I am out with friends. I walk and sit tall. I use jewelry to make an outfit. I keep my nails short and clean with or without polish (I let nails breathe for 2 weeks between polish). I always wear makeup when I am out of house or with any person.

@mirandaryan3362 9 месяцев назад

Only Hannah would make this video. Thank you on many, elegant, levels. This is what walking in and with beauty is all about. Thank you.

@katieshay6680 10 месяцев назад

Non-reactivity after a drop reminded me of Dita dropping her umbrella. Great specific examples! I got so much from your video. Thank you for your thoughtful insights!

@ellahopkinson 10 месяцев назад

I really appreciate you pointing out not everybody can engage in the physical signs of paying attention- many people can perceive this is being rude so i love that you've raised this point ❤